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httpisaoki · 24 days

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my savior, ft. yu jimin

sypnosis. your girlfriend and her protective self, always took it upon herself to always take care of you, but what if you hide an injury from her?

-> non-idol au, wc is 4.7k, same karina from this drabble, requested!! (yes seokjin bts is reader's brother), rest of aespa!!

warnings. protective! karina, fainting, injuries, hospital, crying?, established relationship , fluff, worried! karina, reader is stubborn/hurt/pained, maybe slight angst, that's all?

jimin could always sense your mood and she always knows whenever you're upset about something, but something feels different, she hasn't seen you go out of your study room since yesterday, what could've happened?

jimin was worried, yes, but surprised? not really, you took exams and your studies seriously (even pulling countless all-nighters during exam weeks), this rarely happened ever since you started your 3rd year but jimin couldn't help but check up on you.

as she heads for your study room, the sound of silence worries her. she opens the door, the darkness in the room was a mystery to the sounds of your sniffles. then it clicked.

the sound of tears and sniffles made her worry. the tears on your face made her think.

she looks at your back, leaning on the doorframe.

"baby?" her soft voice catches you off-guard, and with a worried look, furrowed brows, and worry filling her eyes, she asks, "are you okay?"

you quickly wiped off the smudged tears on your face, letting out sniffles as you do so. "hm? yeah, why, I thought you would come home later." you asked, trying to keep your facial expression neutral.

at your attempt to hide and brush off your feelings from her, jimin just raised an eyebrow. and she knew, she knew you weren't feeling anything but bad.

jimin walked towards you, she knew you were lying, no matter how much you tried to hide it from her, the sniffling and the tears on your face gave it away.

she walked towards you slowly and gently pulled you into a tight hug, holding you as she rubbed your back in an attempt to calm you down.

"don't lie to me."

in response, you let out a sigh, tears leaving your eyes as you just lean into her even more.

she just hummed in response, not saying anything, her chest rising and falling. your head rested against her chest as she rubbed your back, she kept you in a tight hug as she ran her fingers through your hair.

she was silent, still not saying anything. she just held you tightly, her grip getting tighter as she held you as you cried, rubbing your back as she let you vent out your emotions, even if you tried to hide them from her.

her breath hitched in her chest as she felt the tension and pressure from you.

"did it go that bad?" she asked in a whisper, her fingers running through your hair still as her grip tightened even more. the comfort of her presence, the embrace of her arms was just enough for you to vent even as the pressure of exams clouded what was going on in your mind.

"did you fail the tests?" she whispered, in a caring and soft tone. her eyes were staring at your back as she held you in place, her breath becoming heavy as she felt your trembling.

she felt you shake your head, a small 'no' leaving your lips as you tried to calm yourself down.

she let out a small sigh, her grip slowly easing and relaxing as she stopped rubbing your back and just held you.

"then.. is it.. the pressure?" she asked softly as she kept you in a tight hug. she squeezed you tightly, and you could feel how warm her body was. she was still waiting for your reply though, wanting to know why you were upset.

"the stress of exams? all the exams? did you-" she asked softly.

you stayed silent as she looked at you with a sigh, scanning the room, the first aid and bandages on my desk catches her attention.

she noticed the aid and bandages on your desk, her eyes looking at the sight of them as they caught her attention as well. she couldn't help but be more worried with each second that passed.

she was more than concerned. she felt her stomach churn as she let out a small noise of worry.

"baby.. what happened?" she asked quietly, her worried face filling with worry as she looked at the aid and bandages. she looked back at you, her brows furrowing.

your eyes widen at the mention as if on instinct, your hand goes to pull your sleeve down, covering your right arm with your sweatshirt.

her attention was fixed on your arm, noticing how you were trying to hide something and how you pulled down your sleeve with your right hand. her eyes narrowed and she felt her heart drop again.

her grip around you went tighter again, her hands moving to where your arm was covered by your sweatshirt.

"baby.." her voice was shaky as she tried to ask you what happened.

you kept silent, covering your arm with your sleeve tighter.

she took notice at your silence and holding your sleeve tighter and tighter with each passing second. she wanted to know what happened but didn't want to push you and ask too many questions too fast either.

she still kept her concern in her voice, despite it being shaky, as she tried to get an answer from you. "tell me, baby.." she asked, trying to look you in the eye as she did so.

you avoid her eyes, "I-It's nothing." you muttered.

she felt her heart drop, her face growing even colder just by your reply.

"it's nothing? nothing?" she echoed, her voice growing more concerned, her expression looking worried as you refused to look at her, avoiding eye contact.

her grip tightened even more and her hands went back to your arm, to where you were hiding a mark or a cut or anything.

"look at me," she whispered sharply. and her grip did not loosen, neither did her glare, as she was silent and waiting for you to do as she said, to look at her.

she was not going to take just an "it's nothing" for an answer, not after you were trying to hide your arm from her. she knew it was a cut, something happened. and she needed you to tell her.

she felt a wave of unease wash over her body once more as she stared at you, her grip still holding tighter than ever, and her eyes narrowing, still not blinking.

you hissed when she tightened her grip on your arm, a shaky breath leaving your lips as you stuttered, "I sprained my arm."

she felt her eyes widen, her breath stopping at the mention of this.

her grip loosened, her expression changing as she realized that you had broken your arm. she was silent for a moment, processing that. your right arm, that was your dominant arm, as well.

her grip loosened once more and she tried to take a shaky breath, her voice growing concerned again. "baby," she whispered, "when? how?"

"yesterday," you hissed, "when I was practicing for the tryouts." you groaned at the pain.

she felt her heart drop again at the explanation, her brows furrowing. her mouth opened to reply back, but nothing came out at first.

her jaw clenched as she bit her tongue, trying to not lash out and yell.

"why didn't you tell me?" she tried to ask in a calm voice but she couldn't help but sound stern, her emotions just leaking into her voice.

"I didn't think it was bad until I woke up after pulling an all-nighter again." you sighed, giving her an apologetic smile.

her breath hitched in her chest as she processed what you had said. her expression softened a little at your apology and excuse, but she still felt concern fill her body as she remembered how you pulled an all-nighter.

your body was exhausted, with both your arm hurting as you still studied, you were already so vulnerable to any type of sicknesses and diseases and so much more because of the lack of rest your body was having.

her arms loosened again as she sighed, still holding you though.

"why didn't you get it checked?" she asked softly as she looked at the aid and bandages.

"why didn't you do anything?" she kept asking in the same soft tone but still couldn't help but sound concerned. every word she said just felt like she was reprimanding you and yelling at you.. but she really just didn't understand your thinking.

"why didn't you tell me?" she muttered, her brows furrowing as she looked at you, hoping to get a reply as she continued asking you every question she felt concerned about.

she felt her eyes growing slightly damp as she kept you in her embrace, knowing that you were in pain and tired, knowing that your body was so worn down because you hadn't been taking care of yourself at all, knowing that your right arm, the one you've been practicing badminton with, was the one that was broken.

her chest heaved at her silence, her expression growing even paler, knowing the pain you held within your arm.

you pulled your sleeve up revealing a sprained mark on your wrist, my arm almost purple. "my brother checked it for me," at the mention of your brother who was a doctor, she looked up at you. "he said it was close to breaking but thankfully it's only sprained."

she felt her heart beat faster as she noticed the sprain mark on your wrist, her arms immediately tightening around you as she looked back at you.

her face grew even paler, her mouth opening to speak but nothing leaving her lips as she tried to process what your brother had said. her gaze narrowed as she stared at you, her brows furrowing and a look of worry on her face.

"he said it's close to breaking.." she echoed. her grasp loosened and her brows furrowed again as her breath grew shaky.

"I'm fine now, love.." you reassured her. "It doesn't hurt as much as it did when I woke up."

she didn't believe you, not when she saw the aid on your desk. she held you in her arms again, not letting you see how she felt.

her hold on you got tighter once more, even though you said you were fine. she was worried and she cared.

her breath still grew heavier as she felt a wave of sickness wash over her. all because of how much your arm hurt.

"baby.. please.." she muttered, not letting you see how worried she was.

"let me help you.." she cut you off when you were about to deny it, her grip loosening just a bit more.

her gaze looked at you, studying you, looking at the way you held yourself as you tried to downplay it all. she knew you weren't feeling okay, she could tell. your body was so worn down from all the stress, all the abuse and neglect from your father, and all the hours of studying you did without sleeping and eating properly.

she felt sick just thinking about it.

"let me check it, at least," she said softly but firmly as she tightened the grip around you. and her free hand went to your right arm, carefully as she pulled up your sleeve even more as she looked for any marks or anything wrong with your body.

"I want to check..."

her hand gripped your right arm, making sure that she was careful as she examined any marks or anything else that might be wrong. she took your arm and her gaze went over it, carefully examining every mark, every bruise, every wound that you had.

her eyes narrowed when she noticed the bruises and the red marks on your arm, bruises and marks from the abuse.

her grip loosened when she felt your arm twitching in her hand, she knew it was pain.

"babe.." she whispered softly, her grip loosening even more as her hands kept moving slowly over your injury.

her brows furrowed even more as your body reacted and twitched slightly, the movement itself told her that you felt pain, and she knew that you were in pain.

her other hand went to your hand and her grip tightened only slightly, hoping to comfort you as she examined your injury. she was silent, not wanting to say anything that might make you upset.

"hm?" you hummed, your eyebrows furrowed at the feeling of your arm twitching in pain.

she stayed silent at first, continuing to examine your arm. her gaze narrowed as she was still inspecting your every inch of your right arm, looking for more bruises and anything other than the pain you were in.

"babe.." she whispered, taking deep breaths as she noticed that your arm twitched again, causing more pain than she thought possible.

her hands squeezed tighter as her eyes narrowed, and when she looked up at you now, her face was filled with fear.

"how long has it been like that?.." she whispered suddenly, she wanted to know this and more. her voice was soft and gentle, her gaze focused on your arm when she asked you.

she felt you flinching and twitching, feeling as if you were in intense pain and she felt her breath quicken as she noticed how you were breathing a bit faster.

you muttered a curse under your breath, "fuck, uh a few hours..." you winced, your head feeling lighter.

her breath hitched in her chest at this, the thought of you being in pain for so long made her sick to her stomach. her eyes widened with shock and disbelief as she held you more tightly, feeling the twitch and flinch of your body from the pain.

her grip tightened again as she asked her next question.

"did you even apply anything?.." she muttered softly as she thought back to the aid.

you shook my head, cold sweat running down your neck. "I-I forgot to because I was-" you mumbled, but before you could finish, you winced, your eyes threatening to close as you felt your legs giving out.

you pass out, and thankfully, she catches you before you hit the floor.

she felt her stomach tighten as she caught you, she didn't even realize that you were that close to passing out, but when your body suddenly went limp in her arms, she held you closer to her, her eyes growing wide as anxiety filled her body.

she tried to think quickly, her breaths shaking and trembling as she held you there.

"love?" she muttered softly, trying to gently call your name as she shook you a little, trying to wake you up.

her grip loosened ever so slightly as she called your name, trying to get any reaction out of you as she shook you and called your name again, "babe.. babe, can you hear me?..." she whispered silently in fear.

she was so scared, not just from the thought of you being in pain from your arm, but from the thought that you passed out in her arms, not reacting to her when she called your name.

her body tensed as she felt your skin was hot, her breaths becoming shorter and shorter as she felt her anxiety filled her entire body. Her chest heaved in her breath as she held you there, not moving as you lay there.

her hand touched your forehead as she felt your skin was hot and she felt her eyes widen even more.

"love.." she whispered softly as she tried to shake you again. but when you didn't react even to that, she felt her heart skip a beat.

"please, please, baby..." she whispered softly as she shook you in her arms, trying to wake you, hoping to get a response. her hands felt your face, her body growing more anxious with each passing heartbeat. she called your name once more, a desperate cry in her voice.

she panicked, holding you in her arms as she tried to calm herself. eventually, she picked you up, supporting your limb body, your arm resting on her shoulders as she walked to your shared bedroom, laying you there as she thought of possible solutions.

jimin stayed silent as she carried your body to the room, not uttering a single word as she layed you down. she felt her mind go blank and her body grew stiff with worry as she did so, she didn't know what to do at all even as she laid you down.

she checked your temperature once again as her fingers felt your forehead, her breath still shaky as she waited for her thoughts to calm down.

fuck, she cursed, worry almost swallowing her whole as she sat at the edge of your bed, staring at your unconscious figure. she grabbed her phone, and dialed your brother's number, kim seokjin, telling him about your condition.

jimin's voice sounded frantic and desperate, her words stumbling over each other as she described your situation and your current condition. she tried to speak as calmly as she could but she couldn't hide the amount of fear and panic that overtook her mind.

she held your hand and brushed stray strands of hair out of your face as she told him everything that she knew, including how your arm was twitching and twitching, the lack of sleep and food, and the fact that even when you felt such pain, you still denied it and were trying to push yourself too hard.

she felt her breathing quicken as she told him all of this, her voice trembling and breaking as she told him everything. her eyes went over your body again, your skin being all hot, even though it was winter and the cold air should've been cooling your body down instead of causing even more heat.

"bring her to the hospital, I'll take care of her," your brother reassured her, telling her that maybe you missed a few check-ups and the lack of food and sleep was getting to you, not missing the fact of my arm twitching.

she took a deep breath, relief washing over her upon hearing his reply. she tried to nod, even though he couldn't see her, as she whispered a thank you to him before she hung up on him. she turned to your body now, staring at your unconscious figure. she was relieved upon hearing his answer, but she was still afraid.

her body felt stiff as her lips formed a thin line on her face, the fear, the worry, the anxiety, all of those things were still present in her eyes as she looked at you.

she felt herself shaking as she continued to stare at you, your body motionless, your breathing steady. the only sign of life from you was the rise and fall of your chest, which meant you were still breathing. her gaze never strayed away, not one bit, she kept her eyes on you as the minutes passed by.

slowly, but surely, she started to calm down, her breaths slowing and no longer shaky or filled with fear. she kept her gaze on you, staring at the rise and fall of your chest, assuring herself that you were there and that you were alive.

after a few minutes, she took you to the hospital, albeit struggling to take you to your car as she held you against her. she sighed, the nurses had taken you to an emergency room after she had told them about your condition.

she did struggle, but she didn't let that stop her or slow her down. she held you tight against her chest as she walked into the hospital and to the emergency room, her breath shaky and her body still tense. she was on edge, worried that the nurse or the doctors might see that. she was also worried that you might wake up before you actually made it to the emergency room, but so far, so good.

she stayed silent as she walked into the emergency room, following your brother's instructions before she handed you to the nurses.

30 minutes had passed and jimin didn't know if you were okay or not.

your brother had approached her, telling her that you were breathing and alive but your 'sprained' arm was getting worse. her eyes filled with worry as she gulped, sighing as she tried to focus on the positives.

her heart skipped a beat when your brother approached her, telling her the condition your injury was in. she was worried, obviously, she would love to stay calm but she couldn't as every thought ran through her mind at a million miles per hour.

her expression didn't change though, it was still firm and filled with anxiety as she looked at him. she waited for him to say more after he mentioned your injury. she wanted to know how bad it was, how worse it was getting.

he walked her to the room that you were in, your unconscious figure lying on the cold bed of the hospital's room. jimin sighed, relieved but also worried about your condition. "when is she gonna wake up?" she asked, worry in her tone.

seokjin looked at her with a reassuring smile, "hopefully a few hours from now, then I'll take more tests before she can be discharged." he paused, "jimin, don't worry about her. she's tough and she always has been."

jimin let out a breath of relief as she looked at him, now knowing that you were safe. she felt her heart beating like crazy inside her chest as she looked at your unconscious figure, her hand rubbing lightly on your skin as she looked over you again and again.

her eyes widened as she heard your brother mention that you would be awake in a few hours. she had hoped to God that you would wake up soon enough, but after hearing that, she was relieved. although her hand continued rubbing your skin gently, her hands were still shaking slightly.

a few hours had passed, and ningning had brought jimin some dinner as they both wait for you to wake up. giselle and minjeong arrive soon after, a sad smile on giselle's face as she comforts jimin.

minjeong and giselle had gone over and hugged jimin, now standing by her side and trying their best to comfort her. they knew how worried she was about you and they could see it too, their faces had a hint of worry on them as well as they looked at your unconscious body.

ningning looked calm and collected but the way she held her plate of food told them otherwise, she was just as worried as jimin was, but she seemed able to hold it together. she too, waited alongside jimin and the others.

they all waited in tense and deafening silence, none of them daring to speak a word, instead simply watching your body as they tried to imagine you conscious again. their eyes went over your unconscious figure, the rise and fall of your chest, the slight twitching of your eye.

jimin herself seemed to breathe louder and slower as she stared at you, the worry growing a bit stronger when she noticed your eye twitching ever so slightly, her hands still rubbing on your skin gently as she waited.

you grunted, shifting your head, "jimin?" you rasped, your voice hoarse. you groaned, the light of the room blinding.

the silence was suddenly interrupted by your voice, jimin herself looked like she was about to cry out of relief and joy as she rushed to your side immediately.

jimin's breath hitched in her chest as she heard you utter her name, her eyes widening as she noticed you stir a little, your movements becoming noticeable to her. she looked at your face, your body moving in ways that weren't before, your eye twitching more and more.

she squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a breath of relief before she opened her eyes again and looked back at you,

her voice soft and quiet as she replied to you, barely audible to even you, "h-honey...?"

"i-i'm right here.." jimin's hands tightened the grip she had on your hand as she spoke and her voice was barely audible, her eyes staring at your face as it moved again. she could hear every single bit of movement from you, every grunt, every groan, every movement was loud enough for her to hear.

her breath hitched in her chest as she felt you squeeze her hand back, her eyes filling with relief that your were awake again and that you still had the same grip over her as you did when you passed out.

you let out a shaky breath, "I-I'm sorry, jimin, I thought that it was just-" you rambled only to be cut off by her shaking her head, a stupid smile on her face as she caressed your hand, reassuring you that it was okay.

"don't apologize... it's fine.. " she whispered softly before she pulled your hand into her chest, rubbing it gently as she held your hand against her chest. her breath was still shaky, and her eyes couldn't leave your face as she looked down at you, relief washing over her.

the anxiety and the worry were still present, but it had grown significantly lessened by the fact that you were starting to wake up again. her smile was slightly shaky but it was still a smile nonetheless.

multiple shouts of my name startled the both of us, giselle and minjeong came back from the cafeteria with a sleepy ningning, smiles on their faces as they realized that I was awake.

jimin was startled by the sudden shout, a small gasp escaping her lips as she looked to the others who had returned. she sighed and smiled a bit as she saw them all there and all of them being relieved upon seeing you were awake once again.

she squeezed your hand a small bit tighter before gently stroking it, her smile still shaky as she stared at you.

"welcome back," she muttered as an attempt to joke, giving you a small grin.

the chaos in the room were the only sound that could be heard other than the beeping of the monitor that kept track of my heartbeat.

laughter filled the room as giselle playfully scolding you about not taking your meds as ningning was on the verge of stumbling as she realized that you were finally awake, letting out a small giggle as she saw you stir and looked up at the group. minjeong and Giselle laughed and were relieved to see your condition was better.

jimin watched all of the laughter and chaos, feeling a small hint of relief. they all seemed to be happy and relieved to see that you'd gotten better. her own smile widened just a bit as she felt her worry subside just a bit.

a few hours later, minjeong and ningning went back to their dorms, leaving you alone with the other two, as you slowly fell asleep due to your lack of sleep. jimin had buried her face in your left arm as she layed beside your side, wrapping her hands on your waist.

jimin had managed to fall asleep, her chest rising and falling slowly as she breathed, she seemed to be in a deep sleep as she lay her head on your arm, her hands still wrapped around your waist as she did so. her body was warm and her breath seemed to be consistent

you felt a faint twitch in her sleep, but other than that, she was calm and asleep. she seemed to be breathing normally and there were no signs of distress or anxiety.

giselle layed on the couch closest to the bed, a blanket covering her and jimin, who moved closer to her as she held your hand, her breathing soft. giselle broke the silence,

"you care deeply for her, huh," a teasing smile on her face.

giselle's words broke the silence of jimin's soft breathing and the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slept. she glanced over at giselle and rolled her eyes slightly, a small smile curving her lips as she did so.

"yeah..." she spoke softly, her hands still wrapping around yours.

"even if it kills me." jimin mutters with a soft chuckle, the night slowly consuming her as she drifts off to sleep, knowing how much she would do anything to protect you.

even if you were stubborn, she would die for you.

-> again inspired by die for you by the weeknd. a bit of aoki comeback because exams are almost over.

#aoki's works #kpop x reader #aespa x reader #yu jimin x reader #karina x reader #fluff

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yooflm · 5 months

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a business proposal — smau

PAIRING ▸ yoo jimin x fem!reader (ft. some members of aespa, le sserafim, ive, enha, riize)

GENRES ▸ fluff, crack, slowburn (eh..), social media au, romance, strangers to lovers, fake dating, e2l???, non-idol au, college au

SUMMARY ▸ after begging on ends for what seemed like weeks, you finally accept your best friends request to take her place for her upcoming blind date. the pro? you get a date with a hot CEO. the con? the CEO seems to be none other than your boss at your recently hired job!

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, kys/kms jokes, mentions of alcohol, sexual jokes, identity theft (joke), ignore the timestamps (will be adding more in the future)

STATUS ▸ ongoing (120523)

SCHEDULE UPDATE ▸ every fri's-sat's (or whenever i'm free)

TAGLIST closed. [ @myouiiiiiiii @yoontoonwhs @hwm1hyun @captivq @rinapomu @jisooftme @thefckghost @perfectsunlight @r4cjh @mineige @vlance @multiliker @pandafuriosa60 @miyawwn @hibernatinghamster @lilacura @haerinkisser @ellivadfr @chweverni @aeriniee @zzzseung-reads ]

author's note: okay so.. after trying to figure a great time to make another comeback w/ another smau, i have finally done it. blue orangeade felt so off so i discontinued it sorry 💔 this one.. i'll say will be counting as an early christmas gift and um, i'll fs be actively updating! might make a taglist and have it be 20 max..

MISSED TEXT MESSAGES

teaser

profile 1 (powerpuff girls 🍃🍃) | profile 2 (gordan rams me)

1 ) crazy bitch

2 ) ms. moving on

3 ) deal accepted.

4 ) broke college students (not classist)

5 ) the blind date

6 ) awkward...

7 ) bitch?? samantha and rachel???

more to come...

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jensettermandu · 1 month

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six feet under - yu jimin

genre; smut, angst, hurt/comfort

pairing; karina x g!p reader

content; despite the title there's no character death (it's just for metaphors) , unhealthy relationship; lack of communication , difficulty dealing with acceptance/reality , unintentionally hurting e/o , smut; p in v :D , unprotected sex , top karina/service bottom reader , oral (reader giving) , slight breast play , some praising

synopsis; it had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. it helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. to hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be.

wc; 15.6k+

masterlist.

It had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. It helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. To hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be.

The silence could almost be dreading, it was so loud that it vibrated through their ribcage. It was so loud with their thoughts that they had no clue what to do. Love could be so many things, couldn’t it? It also meant that love got mistaken a lot of times too. It could make a bed feel comfortable, one they would always want to be at the end of every night, but it would always feel cold with spaces bigger than the ocean even if they were just an inch away.

At times it felt like acknowledging the damage would only damage the rest of the world too if it was brought up. It was for everyone’s best and they could silently try to fix the damage with minimum casualties around them.

They both fell blind and only realised that they forgot to do something about it when they were dragged out of the daydreams and brought back to reality. The daydream that was the past was what made Y/n look away from her monitor once her eyes fell on the time at the bottom corner. She slipped the headphones off of her head, loose bangs falling over her forehead as they no longer were held back by the gear and she turned the chair around. Her eyes fell on the bed that was empty despite it being 0:30 AM.

Routines changed, but they stayed.

It had become a game of avoiding the other to not bring up the actual problems. Y/n indulged in her video games the whole day so they could avoid even looking at each other. She hadn’t spared Jimin a single glance but was now looking at the empty bed with sentiment filling her veins heavily. She deeply inhaled, trying to fill her lungs with oxygen to air out the sadness and hang on to the hope of stitching the torn back together.

It was harder than it looked though when she had no clue how to put together a world that had been caught in a landslide and pulled them apart. It was all drifting apart, burning bridges they couldn’t stop imagining still existed. All they did was stand and look at it happening because there was nothing that they could do about these new feelings.

She placed the headset onto the desk and reached over to the power button on the PC, her index finger coming in contact with it. Y/n pressed it and still deep in lamentful thoughts she held it for a while longer than needed before letting go.

Just as she stood up the door opened and her tired eyes landed on Jimin whose gaze immediately was drawn to Y/n despite how far away they were. It was time to let go, but all that heaviness caused by the thoughts of finally mending their worlds and leaving the one they had built together in the past was hard to get rid of. There were so many reasons that told them to let go, but so many that told them to stay because of what once was their everything.

“I just have to take a quick shower.” Jimin nodded at that as she stepped inside the room, leaving the door ajar as she knew what it meant. It was too cold to fall asleep beside each other on the bed, it was too uncertain of what they should do in the familiar sheets. It was easier to fall asleep alone, but it was difficult to sleep fully through the night if they weren’t both in bed at the same time.

It had become a routine of leaving to let the other fall asleep before getting in bed too. The shower felt agonising, unsure if she had been in there long enough or if she should stay and continue to ponder. Everything around them still felt the same, but on the inside everything was different. Was it because of how suddenly it had happened? Was it because it was scary to let go of something that used to be all their comfort, scared that it was their only comfort after being it for so long? Was it because of how much they still had for each other?

What if they got lost and became wanderers once they would let go of each other and would end up walking life without a goal to reach?

The shower felt like the only place where she could ponder now since it felt like it was too much to cry in front of each other. That would mean that they would have to talk about what was wrong and what they had to do, to do the things they weren’t ready for. The past felt so worth holding onto despite the feelings of the future never looking like they imagined.

It was like every other time when Y/n walked back to the room, she quietly opened it, stepping inside the warmth and the comforting scent of Jimin that lingered in the air. Was it because all these things still brought her warmth and comfort? Her eyes landed on the bed that wasn’t empty this time, but would still feel cold once she settled in it. Never did they do it intentionally, but it had started happening at some point and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

She couldn’t just not care, she always did and always would as she threw her black hoodie onto the backrest of the swivel chair she had been sitting in earlier. It merely made a sound when it landed on the chair and she walked a few small steps over to the edge of the bed where Jimin was lying.

It had become a new routine to just stare at Jimin from a distance while trying to figure out what exactly was wrong between them. She had always adored the girl whether with words or just by looking at her from across a room, but this was different despite the adoration. This always made her eyes look a certain way, a way that whenever Jimin caught Y/n looking at her she could tell what she was thinking and Jimin found herself leaving to wipe away her tears.

So Y/n was crouched down right by Jimin who was asleep on the bed, her head tilting as a small frown adorned her features in thought. The longer she thought the more it all felt like a pipe dream as her eyes lingered on the girl's soft features Y/n adored. The white duvet pulled up to her chin and the younger reached over to Jimin, gently grazing her fingers over the tender skin. Nothing about it had changed, it still felt as good as it always had under her fingertips.

She pushed back some of the loose strands away from the sleeping girl’s face before she pulled her hand away fully, scared that she would wake her up, that Jimin would pull away from her touch, that they would both freeze and then go back to pretending.

Y/n sighed at the feelings she couldn’t decipher anymore and her forehead rested on the edge of the bed for a few seconds as she closed her eyes tightly. Her fists clenched and so did her jaw to shut out everything, the landslide wiped away from her mind, the future too, the past stayed as she fished for the answers from the burning bridge. She was utterly confused, she was so lost in that field where everything had burned to the ground.

Where did it all go? When did it all disappear?

She deeply inhaled and raised her head, shakily letting out her breath, doing it slowly to not wake Jimin up. Her fingers peeled at the cover, the small bear coming into view that Jimin was hugging–it was Y/n’s childhood plushie, but the comfort that it had held once had been transferred to Jimin. She had no clue if Jimin had transferred it further or if she still held onto it. It felt too cold at times, but they were still hanging on to the daydream.

“Goodnight, angel.” Her fists gripped onto the sheets as she left a ghost-like peck against Jimin’s soft cheek while standing up before climbing carefully over the girl to lie down by the wall. Y/n got under the duvet and laid on her back, staring at the ceiling that was empty while her head raced with thoughts that would make falling asleep so much harder. The itch to hold each other, but the fear of it not feeling the same anymore kept them at a distance and so the ache grew, but the silence didn’t dissipate. It was loud enough to mask the sounds of the heartbreak.

Jimin heaved a sigh, her eyes opening in the silent room, knowing that Y/n was lying just behind her, but she wasn’t able to feel her. The simple peck, the brush of fingers against her skin, the goodnight, the innocent pet name; all made her eyes burn hot in the freezing weather that the room was in. It made her stiffen up her lower lip to try and keep them at bay, clutching the little bear harder, burying her nose into its brown fuzzy fur.

Each time she blinked her eyes its fur soaked up the tears, being the only witness of them, the only thing wiping them for her, holding her sorrows inside its small frame. She was afraid that it would overfill soon enough, that the bear would turn salty and bitter from her tears, and that it wouldn’t want to give her any more comfort because of that. She longed, but they flew apart and she couldn’t figure out what exactly she longed for as Jimin felt just as lost and confused about everything as Y/n was.

Was it all broken or just bent? She had no clue, Jimin didn’t even know what exactly it was that was wrong. Or maybe she knew just what was wrong, but pretended that she didn’t?

It echoed in Y/n’s head after the alarm had gone off around 6 AM and she had turned it off–their last rehearsal before they were off to Tokyo, Japan. What their mornings used to look like kept replaying in her head, the sounds of them like an echo of silence now because they no longer happened. There was no room filled with giggles despite it being early at dawn or noon. No words that were sweet affection were exchanged between them. There was no holding each other, hugging, kissing, and just being there with each other, close and content.

Neither could remember the last time they had said an ‘I love you’ to each other.

It used to be always in the mornings, before bed and throughout the day.

It made Y/n exhale while turning to lay on her back as they slept with their backs turned to each other. She tiredly stared at the ceiling unable not to look over at Jimin whose back was still turned to her, it was like a big ice wall fell and blocked them off. ‘It’s fine’ kept repeating itself in Y/n’s head as she pursed her lips and grabbed her phone to see that the time still flew and didn’t wait for them. It did not wait and they were wasting time away from each other when they could be making it meaningful.

The footsteps outside were heard now and Y/n knew that they didn’t have more time to sit and wallow in their sorrows of holding onto something that wasn’t there.

“We have to start getting up.” The girl mumbled just to make sure that the first alarm had managed to wake up Jimin. It did for Y/n because she hadn’t been able to fall into a deep slumber because of all the thoughts.

It was harsh, it was like a strong tornado carrying all types of feelings in it came through the room and cut through Y/n’s skin. “I know, Y/n.” The softness was gone and Y/n bit her lower lip because despite it all they hadn’t been like two snakes around each other, ready to bite and leave venom any second. They hadn’t tried to make it sting more than it already did, but it seemed impossible to do for too long.

The younger still caught the sweet scent of Jimin that made the moment slightly less bitter, reminding her of all the good times when she’d be drowned in the scent. The duvet was thrown off of Jimin who got up from the bed, grabbing the hoodie from the chair on her way and all she left behind was a whirlwind of unspoken emotions after leaving the door ajar when she walked out.

Y/n grabbed the little bear that fell beside her and stared at it, looking for answers in the tears she knew that Jimin was shedding every night. She pretended that she didn’t hear it, that she was asleep, that she simply didn’t know that she was making the girl cry. It was easier that way and in the morning she would look at the bear and still get no answers. She couldn’t acknowledge her silent cries because they would have to do something about everything if she did.

Practice went as usual, almost as usual for the two of them. They both wondered if the rest had noticed their lack of communication and how they occupied themselves with the others to not make eye contact by accident. If they did notice, it wasn’t like any of them would comment on it since Y/n and Jimin’s relationship wasn’t their business.

It didn’t even seem to be Jimin and Y/n’s business anymore as neither of them spoke about it.

Still half panting, Y/n sat on the couch with Minjeong as the two got engulfed in the Nintendo 3DS Y/n had brought with her. There was an emptiness that she hadn’t been able to grow used to, she had become so used to having someone always right next to her for the past three years. It wasn’t constant clinging to each other, but even the small things such as brushing their legs or glancing at each other. The loss of that made a void grow bigger each second and the only thing that would fill it was if things went back to how they used to be.

It made Y/n wonder if Jimin felt the same and so she glanced away from the game, her eyes landing on her girlfriend. She was so used to it so she wasn’t sure if it was Jimin specifically or just a habit that was hard to let go of now, all that affection. The girl was busy talking to Aeri and no matter what they were doing someone’s back was always turned to the other. Y/n’s hoodie-clad the girl’s upper body and Y/n tilted her head, thinking about how maybe that was what brought Jimin the comfort of having someone next to her, just the warmth and scent.

Their confusion about the situation was what made it hard for them to get back to the intimacy they used to share.

The door opened and Ning walked in with their manager, catching everyone’s attention as it got noisier when they started to all converse while making it to the couch. However, Y/n looked back down at the 3DS to occupy her eyes with something for a few more seconds to not try to figure out where Jimin would sit this time.

Aeri was about to sit on the wooden floor, her eyes seeing the lone spot left beside Y/n as Ning was already on the floor by Minjeong’s legs with her drink and one of the pastries. Jimin made sure to insist that she could take the spot, but it still left her in an awkward spot on the floor by Y/n’s legs. Her shoulder brushed against them, bumping into each other constantly and she couldn’t bring herself to sit still, especially not when all the emotions were bubbling inside her.

She couldn’t remember being this emotional before.

How else was she supposed to be when everything felt out of control and she had no clue what to do? There was nothing she could do no matter how hard she tried to catch everything only for it to slip right through her fingers.

Jimin wanted to cry when she took a sip of her drink and something just had to top it all off when her order seemed nothing but wrong. Everything in her life was crumbling, she was in pure distress and despair. However, things only could get worse–they had yet to reach the bottom–and not better because among the cold there was always a warmth as she tried to stop the pout on her lips while staring at her drink.

Jimin felt like a puddle of water in the middle of the road, no one appreciated them and walked around them and all they did was harbour filth; filth being these feelings that only grew bigger, the mess of a puddle becoming bigger too.

She looked up at the hand that took her drink, her glossy eyes meeting Y/n’s for a split second.

The younger felt a heat shoot through her body, it was as if she broke a limb at the pain that she felt seeing Jimin actually harbour these tears and not just cry at night when she thought that Y/n was asleep. It hurt her chest, she cared about Jimin, and she knew that she always would because before she became her lover she was her best friend and member. Maybe that's why it hurt even more. Y/n had no clue who she lost in this silent war they were stuck in.

Was she losing a lover? A best friend? A member?

“You can have mine.” Y/n knew her, Jimin hated it because it made everything even harder and Y/n could see the way the tears grew as quickly as a high tide in the girl’s eyes. She looked hurt, she was hurting, they were hurting, but they continued to do so without saying anything. Why could Y/n tell from a certain pout that Jimin wasn’t satisfied with her food or drink? Why did they have to be so caring for each other? It made cold things warm and they had no clue why things were cold to begin with.

They didn’t want to lose it.

She took the iced green tea she knew that Y/n loved and the younger took her drink. All it took was a sip of it and it all got overwhelming once again because the thoughts didn’t stop crashing inside of her head, exploding and occupying every corner of her mind. It made her wonder if Y/n was busy thinking the same things throughout her whole day too and the thought of being the only one to do so hurt immensely.

“I will be back–restroom.”

The girls hummed, going back to what they were doing as Jimin excused herself, leaving everything behind her and she wished she could do that with the reality that she didn’t want to live in. It was haunting her.

She missed the days when her biggest worries in a relationship were that the promised forever wouldn’t be long enough and not that everything had possibly dropped dead like flies around them, that the forever would never happen. It was a painfully slow dance in a burning room that neither of them left just to see if they could still survive once everything had crumbled fully and the smoke had filled their lungs.

Y/n knew that letting time pass would be too painful to sit through. Nothing was waiting for them. Even if it meant a bigger gap, she gave her 3DS to Minjeong who continued on the game while Y/n had become a pawn in a game no one was controlling. It was a game of chaos no one could cultivate anything out of, no order, no logic, no helpful solutions. This was a game of walking a thin line of nothing and everything.

It was too tiring, walking inside the bathroom felt like getting locked in the confines of a place where no one would ever find her, no one would see her. No one would see if Jimin broke down in the bathroom and it made relief wash over her and the tears spilled like a broken dam. That was all it took and she tried to calm down, but it wasn’t possible as she turned on the faucet, letting it run to drown out her snivels and deep breaths.

It was exhausting to be crying almost every day, she didn’t know what sleep was anymore and all she lived for was sorrow, she lived to continue hurting.

Why did they make something simple so complicated? Love was what made it complicated.

She used the pads of her palms and wiped at her eyes while tilting her head back and letting out a shaky breath. It felt like there was no calming down from this and each second only made it worse. The silence despite the running water, the echoes in the tiled bathroom, and the stalls empty.

Jimin could still remember all the other times she had been crying in the same bathroom when everything felt like it was all for nothing because she couldn’t feel fulfilment despite her achievements. She could remember the way her girlfriend would end up in the same bathroom, coaxing it all out of her, taking all her burdens and carrying them for her. Could Y/n do the same thing now when they both were in the same shoes?

Everything reminded her of Y/n except Y/n herself. They both felt distant and like different people.

Even the light knock on the door was familiar and she took in a shuddering breath, turning to look at Y/n when she opened the door. It fell closed right after, her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants, restricting herself from all those instincts that always kicked in. Her eyes followed the hesitance that was clear in Jimin’s body that pulled to Y/n, but with so much trouble as she held the sleeve of the hoodie against her trembling lips.

“Come on,” Y/n mumbled, knowing that it was all that was needed to get the girl to just break down fully. “It’s okay to not be okay,” she mumbled as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s shoulders who shook in her arms. The hot tears were burning against her pale skin, wetting her neck, trailing down and spilling like they never had before. Her cheek rested against the side of Jimin’s head, pulling her closer to her body, into her warmth because it was all still the same, but it felt different.

What was it that exactly wasn’t okay? It wasn’t just them themselves, but them together and it ended up making both of them not feel okay.

Jimin tightly wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, crying into her neck. She got pulled closer, her head being cradled by Y/n’s hand. All of it made it impossible to hold the walls up, the ones that were supposed to show that she wasn’t as bothered by it as she truly was. In reality, Jimin could barely breathe through it without falling into a panic attack. Hearing Y/n’s words, and hearing that it was okay made it so much easier to let it all out, especially when she was with the girl and held by her.

The reassurance that it was okay to cry about the landslide made it easier. Y/n recognised the burdens and Jimin wasn’t alone.

“I’m sorry for how I took it out on you in the morning.” Y/n only hummed, holding her close as Jimin had been a rose with its thorns aimed at Y/n since they woke up. From the harsh words to the ways she blatantly shut her out even when it was a small question not to her girlfriend but to the leader of Aespa. Jimin was scared and it was affecting her role as a leader too, as a member of the group. The fear was consuming her life fully and was getting in the way of everything.

“I’m just so tired and I can barely sleep at night.” Or maybe she could sleep just fine but chose to cry at night instead of closing her eyes. She woke up more tired each day, every little second got more exhausting than the other.

“I know, I’m sorry for all of this.” The younger knew all about it, but what she didn’t know was what exactly she was apologising for. Y/n knew that Jimin was crying at night because of what was happening between them, but she knew that it wasn’t her fault or Jimin’s. It was natural, it would have happened at some point, right? Y/n inhaled, closing her eyes because it hurt her, but seeing how much it affected Jimin made it hurt so much more and it made everything more complicated.

“We can’t keep going without knowing where it’s all heading. I’m confused and–” Y/n stopped her before they got too deep into the truth because neither of them was ready to let go just yet, neither wanted to end it just yet. They needed some more time, some more time to find more than just one option to end their pain. There always was more than one choice.

She pulled away from Jimin, her upper body lingered with the warmth that the shorter girl left after her. Jimin gripped at Y/n’s sweater, knowing that once they let go they would be apart for what would feel like years again. The void between them would become even bigger than it already was and they would avoid it for much longer.

“I care about you, nothing will change that and it’s all fine, Jimin.” She held her face cupped in her hands, tears hitting her skin as the girl looked up at her with quivering eyes. They knew that these false paintings of their relationship would make them feel better for now. Not in the long run, but they tried to live in the present–it didn’t matter if they reminisced and avoided the problems of the present.

Jimin blinked her eyes, trying her best to run into the daydream, trying to escape reality. Her eyes closed, hoping that she would be thrown into her daydream as Y/n kissed her forehead.

She missed the pretty sunset sky, the fireworks, the green grass, the clouds that came in different shapes and would be fluffy. It was like a childish dream and possibly some people had been right when they said that young love was complicated. It wasn’t like they cared, they had always felt like teenagers in love with each other.

Why wasn’t it working though? Where did it all go? It no longer felt like a daydream. It no longer felt like it used to do.

It was so difficult to grasp something that physically wasn’t there, neither of them could grasp it, at the feelings. Love was so beautifully painful the way it painted them with all these different colours. The canvas would always be filled with them and to the eye it would always be beautiful but to the souls that served as the canvas it would always be heaven and hell. Among white there was blue, among blue there was green, among green there was red and it went on.

The daydream was constantly corrupted by the harsh reality.

It was like walking a tightrope.

The smallest mistakes felt deadly.

The stupidest mistakes.

It would be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that there was so much on the line.

It was part of the social culture and Y/n had happened to fall victim to it because a few cigarettes had turned into a pack or two a week. What were her reasons? Probably all that went on in her hectic life, but it hadn’t been easy to sneak around with an addiction. It got especially hard when the dorm arrangements changed because she and Jimin got together.

Y/n had managed to sneak around for a whole two months. All it took was one week of sharing a room with Jimin who gave up on pretending that she didn’t notice the lingering smell of tobacco on Y/n and slowly herself.

‘Fine, I will quit for you.’

‘Not for me. For yourself and your health.’

‘Doing it for you makes it easier.’

‘Only if you don’t start doing it again. It will hurt to think that doing it for me wasn’t enough.’

‘I promise.’

Even the simplest promises were being broken. It felt all the more hopeless.

It was hard, to say the least with starting to dose down on how much she smoked until it was nothing at all. Y/n had never thought of herself as someone who grew addicted easily, but nicotine turned out to be a bitch and even a year and a half after quitting the cravings came back. There were certain times when they were extra tempting, it made her irritated and restless. It was times like these that she always had her substitutes for them, from nicotine patches to nicotine gum or simply Jimin.

This time it felt like Jimin was the cause of the cravings.

The world around them no longer felt real because of how they had surrounded themselves in a fake reality.

“Did you slam the door in my face?” Venom, that was what Jimin spat out, pure venom behind her words as she locked the door to the green room. The rest were out and talking to their label mates, but it was better to make sure they didn’t walk in if they came back earlier. The last thing Jimin or Y/n wanted was for the rest to notice that everything around them was crumbling, that it had all become a smoke screen.

Y/n inhaled deeply, rummaging through her stuff, ignoring the clatter as she was on the brink of losing it. “I didn’t and if I did, it wasn’t intentionally. I had no fucking clue you were behind me.” It was a low mutter, but it was just as poisonous as Jimin’s tone which had been louder. At the back of her head, Y/n had been expecting Jimin to be right behind her, she was the whole reason why she was buzzing with cravings.

“You slammed it in my face and an apology wouldn’t hurt you, Y/n.” Jimin had no clue why she was letting it drag on. She could have dropped it, she was aware that Y/n didn’t know and even if she did, Jimin knew she deserved ten more doors slammed closed in her face.

“You want me to apologise?” Y/n snapped that easily and it had never happened between the two of them–the cravings only made it worse together with the tension of constantly being on their guard not to let anything slip past them.

They never really fought to begin with. All those small fights that never meant anything, that never held any real frustrations, it was different now. Those pent-up emotions came out and spilled right over the head of the other. Y/n wanted to throw it at Jimin because her girlfriend had been doing it since they landed in Tokyo. They were being petty for the sake of being it and not for any good causes. Y/n tossed the stuff onto the table, ignoring the even louder clatter of the things and continued to look through her stuff.

“Called manners.” She commented. It was like she knew that something so simple would irk Y/n more than she already was, especially in this state.

“Oh, so Karina wants to talk manners.” Y/n huffed and turned around, leaning back against the table. Her arms crossed as she gripped onto her arms, hiding the tremor in her fingers as the anger and everything else was overwhelming. She hated fighting with the girl, but it felt inevitable when they were alone in the room with so much tension already lingering between them.

The past couple of fights they’ve had been nothing but hurtful with no apologies after, pretending it never happened to begin with.

Jimin’s eyes squinted at the words, Y/n barely called her by her stage name even when they were on stage. Hearing her bring it up was enough to let her know what Y/n was pointing at.

Jimin was falling under the pressure of juggling work and a relationship she could no longer figure out. It had never been a problem for them, but she felt like she had failed her role in the group by letting personal conflicts get in the way.

Nonetheless, it would be impossible to admit to now when they were in an argument that grew by the second.

“Don’t comment on my work ethic when you barely have yours under control. You’re being sensitive.” She argued, knowing very well that she had been letting her complex emotions and confusion about where she and Y/n were heading get in the way of her professionalism.

“You’re the one crying over a door.” Y/n scoffed in disbelief, pointing at the door in question that was behind Jimin. The girl pulled on the strings of her hoodie in frustration at Y/n’s words. It only fueled her on, she couldn’t remember being able to get this angry with Y/n before, she had never thought that she could get angry with her. Or maybe it wasn’t anger that she felt towards Y/n, but just frustration because of how confusing their relationship had turned. How dead it was.

Maybe she was angry at herself, at the world, or at how confusing love could be. She was angry at the fact that they let it die to begin with.

“Because you slammed it in my face!” This time she let her voice fly way above what she imagined she would, her foot stomping down in frustration. The tears welled up in her eyes so easily, that constant haunting fragile mentality as everything was hurting and it didn’t let her breathe.

“Because you are doing a shit job at being a leader!” Y/n watched Jimin pace around, watching how desperately she tried to get rid of her tears. Those tears of frustration, not knowing how else to take it out she yelled at Y/n and cried, but there was only so much that could cover her tears now.

“Don’t comment on my work ethic, Y/n.” She repeated and found herself in front of Y/n, it almost felt dangerous to be so close to each other at a moment like this. It was scary because they had never had these fights and being so close to what used to be just comfort felt wrong, it felt wrong to bring these feelings into their safety net.

It ruined their purpose, the place they went to when they wanted to escape these feelings, the pressure, the world. It was all truly gone, wasn’t it?

She could feel it all spiral, leaving them with no control over what happened between them in the room.

“Someone has to when you forget how to separate relationships from work. Be a fucking leader and answer a fucking question instead of shutting me out because of our personal life.”

“It’s not easy when this is what it looks like!” She threw her arms, motioning to the mess they were together, the one they both had been avoiding because of how complicated it was. It was hard not to notice, but impossible to truly acknowledge and so it all mixed into everything else.

“Nothing is ever easy for you, is it? That’s why I always become your punching bag when things go wrong.” The words left Y/n bitterly, her hands gripping onto the table behind her as she exhaled these deep breaths that helped with nothing. Watching Jimin with tears in her eyes wasn’t helping, but Y/n felt like the girl had been trampling all over her. She was using her title as a leader and girlfriend in a nonchalant way, she was neglecting Y/n as a member and not a lover.

“That’s not true and you know it.” Jimin knew that it was all true, her tone faltering as she would feel even more guilty if she raised her voice to spit out lies. It hurt too much to say the truth of the situation.

“It has been even more true lately,” Y/n muttered, her eyes leaving Jimin’s.

It felt like the woman in front of her was trying to coax her into forgiving her without Jimin having to apologise. Y/n was done doing those things. She couldn’t put it all aside like all the other times when she accepted Jimin’s apologies she never even said. The ones where Y/n blatantly admitted to being wrong even when she wasn’t because she didn’t want to fight or see Jimin cry.

“Because–because—” Now came the difficult part for Jimin who had no good excuse for this and she knew that she was wrong. The problem bigger than this one was her pride and ego, they got in the way, especially now after how tense everything has been.

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing is changing.” It made Jimin’s heart drop, Y/n’s stomach twisting at her own words that she never wanted to say. It was what it felt like though.

She gently grabbed Jimin’s shoulder to have her step aside as she stood up to walk out the door.

“Don’t say that.” A quiver fell from between her lips, a lump in Jimin’s throat that cut deep and made it all bleed much worse than it already was. Her hand grabbed Y/n’s to have her stay because, in the end, she didn’t want her lover to leave, not just yet and she quickly stopped in front of Y/n. She would never accept those words, not now at least because hearing them made her lightheaded, it made her chest clench and she wanted to collapse onto the floor to be swallowed before she could feel more pain.

“Where’s our manager? I need her to buy cig–”

“You’re not smoking just because things go wrong for us!” It wasn’t possible to speak with a quivering voice, it was too soft so she raised her voice again. She still cared about Y/n as a member, friend, lover and person, it didn’t matter what was going on between them. Jimin would always care about Y/n. Her hand bunched up the material of Y/n’s shirt in her hand as to keep the girl from leaving her. She refused to let go, in the end, she wasn’t supposed to want anything else but Y/n and even if her feelings were different she clung to that idea.

That there was only one person for the both of them.

“Is this something else you want to cry about!? You didn’t bring my shit with you because you’re being petty and expect me to break habits.” It had become a habit, Jimin had become someone Y/n relied on with most of her things. If Jimin had been packing certain things for her it had become a habit that she would do it every time and it never crossed Y/n’s mind to do it herself anymore.

It had never bothered Jimin either and now it was doing nothing but pissing both of them off. Those flaws they had accepted and learned to love before were nothing but a hassle to deal with now and they wanted the other to erase them and change. To change so they could learn to love these new people they would become.

“If you said that you quit for me then fucking keep the promise or will you break them all just because it isn’t working out for us at the moment? And I’m not your mother, Y/n, why do you rely on me packing your fucking things!” She shoved Y/n by the shoulder, wanting to get her away from her even for a split second because she was boiling over with emotions. It would never end well no matter who they were fighting with when there were too many emotions.

Jimin felt conflicted at her own pushing and pulling as she one second wanted no one but Y/n and the other second she couldn’t stand the girl.

“Everything I did for you feels like a waste at the moment when all you give me is headaches, Jimin.” Y/n’s voice was rough and loud, ignoring that they had more performances tomorrow. Jimin could feel the vibrations in her ribcage and she harshly wiped away the tears. It felt like Y/n didn’t deserve her tears at this exact moment, not after those words. She snivelled, still unable to stop them though because how couldn’t she cry when this was what they were now?

They continuously watched what they used to be washed away with each wave that clashed with their shore and dragged away the good to leave filth behind instead.

“I fucking regret even giving you an ounce of my time and life because you’re nothing but a pain to look after. You don’t get to be angry at me because I had to worry about not forgetting my stuff and yours on top of everything!” She couldn’t help but feel like all the blame was now coming her way and maybe she had let Y/n get too comfortable. Jimin couldn’t help it then, but the longer it went on the more she realised that it wouldn’t work that way.

“You’re like a manchild for fuck’s sake.” Jimin groaned out as it continued to dawn upon her how much of an immature child Y/n could be. Had she been blind all this time? Why did she suddenly mind it? Why were these words even leaving her mouth when she had always loved and accepted Y/n for the person that she was? Were they just looking for reasons to make it all stop?

“You made it a habit and I stuck to it. Suck it up the same way I have to suck up when I’m your punching bag whenever things don’t go your way.” Y/n couldn’t help but truly realise how much she always let Jimin get away with. The things she would say, the things she would do that hurt, Y/n always forgave her for every little thing because Jimin could do no wrong in her eyes. Jimin was spiralling right now because Y/n hadn’t forgiven her yet for how she had been pushing the younger girl around for the past few days as a member of the same group.

Here she was, still letting the woman in front of her shove her around and blame her for her own mistakes. The way she always forgave Jimin within seconds when she saw tears in her eyes even if Jimin was in the wrong. Y/n felt played by the older now as she realised how their dynamic had worked.

Y/n would always be the one to take the blame even when it wasn’t hers to take.

Jimin would always be the one to suffer from how much she took on herself willingly because Y/n couldn’t do it.

“You were playing video games instead of packing even after you saw how stressed I was with my stuff. You got upset over your motion sickness patches, your headphones, fucking lenses and now your gum. I’m fucking surprised you packed your clothes!”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t even enter the room without you getting pissed off because I would breathe. I’m not the one being immature but you, Jimin. You are the one who mixed our relationship into work, you’re the one who isn’t professional–” The older girl could feel herself boil over with anger with each point that Y/n made, each word pushing her closer to the edge. She felt like the points Y/n made were being invalidated, Y/n had yet to accept it for what it was and Jimin hated having the truth about herself being pointed out this way.

“–the one to force habits and then thinking you can just switch them up within a second because you suddenly don’t like what you wanted. Not the whole world revolves around you, but you’ve been too fucking selfish lately to realise it.” Despite all the coldness between them and all that seemed gone, they hung on because every day small things happened that gave them hope–small gestures were enough and they were brought back to the past. It felt as if Jimin hadn’t been trying to work towards each other, but away from each other. “I’m always looking out for you and caring for you.”

Jimin was simply too scared to move anywhere at all because it felt like the smallest mistake would make what was left fall apart fully. She felt paralysed by how scared she was of the truth. It was like having bricks constantly pile on her chest, it was difficult to breathe with them there, and it was difficult to move with them there. The girl felt like she was chained to the pits of hell while staring up at heaven in hopes of it coming down to her.

What it ended with was it looked like she was selfish for being too scared to move, as if she wanted the world to revolve around her. And maybe if it did it would make everything easier for her.

“Go fuck yourself Y/n and stop trying to make yourself look like a hero when you make as many mistakes as I do.” Jimin scoffed and wiped at her eyes as she pushed past Y/n, they both felt completely neglected and invalidated by the other. The reality of what it always has been wasn’t easy to swallow because it had never bothered them until now. She was aware that she made mistakes, but Y/n made them too and couldn’t claim the title of a hero when they did as much caring as they did hurting.

Y/n turned on her heels as Jimin pushed past her, she could see the anger, despair and distress clouding her. It was like a grey cloud over their heads, constantly being there for them when they didn’t want it. “It doesn’t excuse your mistakes either and considering my girlfriend won’t do it, yeah, I will ‘cause she’s too busy being stuck up.” Y/n could tell that the last of her words were too much, that they were too disrespectful and insensitive, and that she shouldn’t even be thinking about it right now. Maybe Jimin was right about being nothing but a ‘manchild’.

Y/n truly felt the consequences of her words when Jimin felt them dig deep into her heart and it was enough to throw everything else out. It was just for a second and she knew she could regret it and feel guilty about it later. The stinging on her palm would subside, but feeling disrespected by Y/n for the first time in her life would linger far longer as she turned back around and landed it across the younger’s cheek.

“You’re an immature fucking child, Y/n. I’m not just for your pleasure and needs, so fucking respect me.” She spat out, holding onto the girl’s shirt with her stinging hand as it all shut Y/n up. The two were able to very clearly see through each other like glass, it wasn’t even like glass, but air from how clear it was and all they could see was pain and hurt. They caused each other pain and hurt and everything else they used to make each other feel was gone—but then came those moments where it wasn’t gone even if it was for a second and so they held on.

They both felt horrible as Jimin grabbed her things while wiping her tears, not sparing Y/n more glances. All she knew was that she needed to cry to let it all subside for even a bit. Y/n slumped down on the couch, the nicotine cravings slapped out of her. She held her cold palm against her cheek trying to ease the pulsating pain she knew she deserved and Jimin did too as they both were suffering for keeping each other chained down.

Maybe they had never been perfect, to begin with.

Were all these things stuff they had always wanted to say and they now took the opportunity to do so since everything was already falling apart? Did they hold back on saying these things before because they were scared that they would ruin everything? Or were these things something that should have been brought up a long time ago to make it work out?

They couldn’t answer that. No one could because it was too late.

Jimin had known that she would feel bad after, that the guilt would eat at her. She was terrified that their relationship had taken a new step forward, towards a goal they didn’t want to reach when Y/n slept in Minjeong’s hotel room. The two peers–in age–were close in the end and so Jimin spent the night tossing and turning wondering if the truth would come out now. That their love was under ruins, crushed and bleeding to death, setting the truth in stone and burying what they used to have six feet under to start a new life.

She wondered if Y/n spent the whole night awake. Jimin could barely fall asleep knowing they were in the same bed, but with their backs turned to each other, let alone after what happened. She could barely sleep because of how her insides twisted in hopes of escaping to get away from the excruciating pain. The part of them being away after what went down only made her even more anxious.

The girl got her answers the next day when Y/n was tired and Minjeong went on about her day without a single knowing glance or word.

They had avoided each other unless they were on stage, but the second they came off it was back to normal. The new normal, they both missed the old normal but they seemingly couldn’t go back to it.

Or so they thought because once again all that they had been missing poured over them like a rainstorm.

The simple idea for all of them to go out and eat after the days of performing. There had been an undoubtful tension between the two and not for the same reason they would like to think. It felt horrible to sit beside each other without having apologised for what had happened. However, the longer they sat at the table the closer they seemed to get, but it could have been the alcohol in their veins.

“I swear, it’s the first time these two aren’t all over each other.”

Y/n felt a slight heat shoot through her, one of anxiety at Ning’s drunken words because now everyone seemed aware of the situation. It could have been the fact that they dared to speak up about it when they were drunk. Y/n didn’t know what it was, but she toyed with one of the side dishes, knowing that she and Jimin always got more affectionate when they were drunk.

“Tired, that’s all…” Y/n mumbled, trailing off as she looked over at Jimin who sat right beside her–the rest continuing the chatter. The two had been coming closer and closer with each shot of soju and every beer they finished. They could feel the other's heat on them, craving each other in this state no matter what had happened between them for the past months. They craved the affection of the other so much that it hurt, it was boiling from the inside and they were waiting for the other to cave in so they could be close.

She watched for a second more as Jimin struggled with the marinated perilla leaf, lip between her teeth as she gently swayed, going over her limit this time. Y/n would always be the one to cave in for the older girl. Jimin rarely drank more than she could handle and even that was a lot, but Y/n could tell she was trying to drown herself further. The older woman was already drowning in all her emotions and trying to drown them in alcohol only intensified it all and Jimin felt like she would burst any second and start begging in front of everyone else.

Y/n turned in her seat the slightest, her attention on the woman who was still the most beautiful one she had ever seen. The one she desired, but it was all so different no matter how beautiful they both were to each other. Her right hand reached over to Jimin, brushing the hair behind her ear and reaching with her left for the leaf.

Eyes were glossed over, like polished glass from alcohol when Jimin finally looked up and Y/n picked up the leaf, her hand still holding back the hair so it wouldn’t get in the way.

It was crushing both of them. Jimin felt her world brighten up with hope that had no space in their world anymore, but she wasn’t letting go yet. Y/n fed her with eyes gazing over Jimin’s features, feeling excruciating pain at the fact that she had made her cry, at the fact that they kept hurting each other unintentionally by holding on. It was worth it when these moments still managed to slip through the cracks and let in some light.

Y/n let go of the latter's hair and wrapped her arm around Jimin’s waist when she leaned into her, resting her weight on Y/n’s side. Her hands found Y/n’s warmth as they pushed under the girl's loose sweater, doing all the holding on that she could.

“I miss you.” They were sentimental words as Jimin gently whispered, her breath brushing over Y/n’s neck and the younger girl pulled her closer. Y/n took in a deep breath at how homesick she felt for a home she no longer had. They missed each other, they missed what they used to have, but no longer did and it dug into their hearts with no care, tearing them into pieces at how messy it felt.

“I miss you–miss us,” Y/n mumbled, their world shutting the rest out, inhaling the smog-filled air of everything that had burned down to ashes. Jimin hummed as her eyes closed, hoping that the drunk sentiment would be able to suffice for now even if it was for just one night. All they needed was one night to figure it out, to get to feel what they missed and see if they could bring it all back to life. She felt Y/n’s soft lips press against her head and she nuzzled her face further into the scent that used to be a home and now was only what was left of one.

Her lips gently pressed over Y/n’s skin, her nails gently scratching over Y/n’s back as she moved her other hand up. She cupped the younger’s face, thumb caressing the porcelain-like skin she deeply regretted putting her hand on but she couldn’t regret it when she thought back on what they said to each other. Jimin deserved to suffer for her actions and Y/n deserved to suffer just as much. They would continue until they did the necessary.

Y/n got her head tilted down and looked at Jimin who rested her head against the younger’s shoulder. Her eyes pleaded for a remedy for all the heartbreak even if it was for just one night. To just get away from reality for a few hours. Her fingers brushed over Y/n’s cheek. Y/n gave a small nod and reached over for the beer she had left, finishing it and hoping it would all last long enough and not end the way it did a few days ago.

“Will you guys mind if we leave early?” The girl asked, but it was already set in stone as she grabbed her jacket and helped Jimin up. They looked over at the two who were closer to each other than they had been for the past few months as Y/n put her jacket over Jimin.

“Not at all,” Aeri replied, the rest humming in agreement.

It was a short walk to the hotel, wrapped up in each other the whole way and not letting go for a second as they walked in silence, scared to let go or say something that would make it difficult to be this way again.

They at last did let go as they walked inside the hotel room, but it all shifted for a second as Y/n kicked off her shoes and sat down at the foot of the bed. There was no escaping this landslide, the clash that destroyed so much as she missed what she used to have with Jimin, but had no clue if they could get that back. It tied knots around her heart and tugged on it constantly.

The latter managed to get her shoes off, the jacket falling after her as she walked over to Y/n. Despite the slight blur, she could see clearly through everything else and now was the only time she knew she could apologise.

It used to be easier.

“Y/n…”

The girl took a deep breath and looked away from her hands and at Jimin who kneeled beside her. Her chin rested against Y/n’s thigh as she stared up at her girlfriend, her lower lip slightly jutted out. The younger one hummed, her hand running through Jimin’s hair as she caressed her scalp gently, missing the touch of someone else. The back of her fingers trailed over Jimin’s cold cheek who grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

The silence braced them as they stared at each other, heads tilting, ears filling with the heavy yet soft breaths from alcohol-filled veins, the buzz of the outside world only faint. That silence of acceptance of what their love was, what it used to be and how it no longer was.

Jimin heaved a sigh and rested her cheek against Y/n’s thigh, staring off into the dimly lit hotel room. The sentiment of sorrow, sadness and nostalgia as everything had become too farro reach now and it would be hard to save anything. If they could continue to pretend then everything would go back to being fine. If they lived a lie long enough, it would become their reality.

“I’m sorry about the other day—” She mumbled, slumped on the floor and her gaze moved as she tilted her head to look Y/n in the eye. Their eyes connected, filled with the buzz of alcohol, and the perception of the fake reality they had created in their head washed over them. Those small gestures that made hope wash over them wouldn’t change anything, would they? They didn’t want to think about it. “I shouldn’t have raised my hand,” her lips momentarily formed into a pout at the disdain she felt for her actions.

Jimin knew there was no excuse for it even if she felt like an emotional wreck. They were losing control and it was starting to deeply affect them. They were going full speed through crossings with no hands on the wheels, covering their eyes to not look at the truth and soon enough they would crash right into a wall.

“It’s okay, it’s fine,” Y/n always let Jimin get away with everything and nothing would probably ever change that.

Jimin shook her head, lifting it from Y/n’s thigh as she got up to stand on her two feet. Y/n’s fingers tangled into the sweatshirt the girl had on as she stood between her legs. Despite the slight tremors in Jimin’s fingers, buzzing with more than just alcohol, but also a surge of feelings, the uncertainty, longing, feelings of loss and hope; she cupped Y/n’s face in her hands. Her touch was soft as Y/n’s glimmering eyes met her.

“I shouldn’t have acted the way I did either.” Y/n mumbled, closing her eyes and resting in Jmin’s hands who caressed her features with her thumbs. They still would always melt at the affection because it was normal to crave, but it didn’t feel like it used to. Aside from it feeling good, those other things didn’t spread across them. “I’m sorry.”

That sorry felt like it was for more than what happened in that room and Jimin knew it. She knew that the apology was because they both genuinely felt bad for letting a promise of forever die.

‘I love you.’

‘Never stop loving me, Y/n.’

‘I will love you forever, I promise.’

‘I will love you forever, Y/n, I will always care about you.’

‘Don’t cry, Jimin, I’m always here for you.’

Jimin deeply exhaled and closed her eyes before she could let the tears even form and with a lump in her throat she closed the gap between them. Their lips met in a kiss to suckle on the hope left in them. It was eagerness, it was to forget and not to remember. Y/n’s hands grabbed hold of Jimin’s hips, pulling her closer.

They tilted their heads to meet tongues that tasted as bitter as the beer they had and the longing for what they had lost, as sweet as the sake they downed and the reverie they lived in. It was with desperation because it felt like it was the last of them that was left and they would do everything to latch onto it and stick forever. The forever they had promised.

Jimin ran her fingers through Y/n’s hair, pushing deeper, wanting to feel more, she needed more. She needed Y/n, she missed the touch against her body and that was all that it felt like for them now. The fulfilment of each other’s needs and nothing else as Jimin discarded Y/n’s sweater, letting it fall to the floor. Her cool hands ran over the warm skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps, emotions swirling under their skin as they pulled away to remove Jimin’s top.

Their eyes locked, looking for something, searching, but they had no clue what they were trying to find anymore. It ended quicker than expected and their lips met once again, meeting tongues and letting out desperate sounds. Y/n’s fingertips grazed over Jimin’s skin as if the girl was made of gold, the gentle and careful touch making the latter bubble with more need. She ran them over her sides, tracing every ridge, coming to her spine with one hand as the other slid over her ribs until she reached the hem of Jimin’s jeans.

With ease she undid them and as they fell to the floor the older girl straddled Y/n who huffed at the weight that pressed down against her growing cock. As Jimin looked Y/n in the eye, the girl reached over to her face, brushing away the black strands of hair. She could still see a sparkle in Y/n’s eyes, but it was flickering. It wasn’t there for the same reasons that it used to sparkle. This was for the lust that would always linger inside their veins.

“Make me feel good, you owe me this,” Jimin mumbled, knowing that they both owed each other this for the things they had been putting the other through for the past months. This was finally their chance to make the other feel good in a way that was more than just sentimental. There was no sentiment in lust because it had never been part of it, but now it ruled them.

She grabbed Y/n’s hand which was still by her face and captured those sweet lips while guiding the hand to the back of her bra. Jimin trailed her kisses away from Y/n’s lips and along her jawline, slowly going further and nuzzling her nose into her neck. The scent was still one of her favourites. She took it in and ran her tongue over the skin before wrapping her lips around it.

It made Y/n stall with the bra, a faint whimper falling from between her lips as Jimin slowly started to gyrate her hips, rolling her heat against Y/n’s that was straining against her jeans. “I want your lips on me Y/n.” She breathed out against the red mark, wanting to feel the pleasure, they both wanted to be brought out of this hell they had painted as heaven. This was their chance.

Y/n bit her lower lip, her neck being plated with kisses by Jimin all while the girl continued to press against her cock, grinding slowly while releasing shaky breaths between kisses. The girl managed to undo the bra and only then did her girlfriend pull away, letting Y/n remove it fully whose eyes focused on her chest right away. Jimin’s words hadn’t fallen deaf to her ears and all she wanted was to give the girl exactly what she wanted. This was the only thing that they could make work.

“I love every inch of you.” Any other time the words would burn within Jimin’s soul and leave their mark and they had done so permanently, but they no longer reached as deep. They were all for the outside as they had changed from the inside towards each other.

Her fingers tangled at the back of Y/n’s head, gently making her look her in the eye as she tilted her head. “Show me instead.” It was like a whisper, her lips ghosting Y/n’s, knowing that she would be able to feel more from actions rather than words now.

Y/n manoeuvred them, laying Jimin down on the bed, legs wrapped around her waist as she stood by the edge of the bed. The girl bunched up the duvet beside Jimin’s head, taking one last look at her chest before she leaned down to show how much she appreciated her body. With fingers tangled in her hair and nails scratching her scalp Y/n started to leave scorching kisses along Jimin’s skin.

Her tongue soothed over the pulse, tenderly kissing down, her kisses tickling as she trailed down, taking in the soft hums and breaths that the girl let out. She came down to her collarbones, grazing her teeth over them, leaving her marks after her as those were the only good ones they managed to leave on each other now. Everything that went deeper hurt.

A faint gasp left Jimin’s mouth when lips fervently latched onto her chest, all the heat running through her body and shooting straight to her aching clit. “Fuck,” was all that she could mutter at the warm tongue playing with her nipple, sucking on the tender flesh. Y/n’s devotion to what was left of them was shown through the way she consumed her flesh, leaving her bites to linger.

Y/n moved her mouth to the other nipple, her hand coming down to fondle the older’s chest. It was enough for more sounds to start coming from Jimin at the way her nipples were being played with and her chest littered with kisses. It made her thighs tense around Y/n’s waist, pulling her closer and when the rough material pressed against her cunt a moan fell from her lips. The younger girl hummed, pressing more against Jimin while toying with the hard nipples with her mouth and fingers, twisting and pulling, touching her in a way only she knew.

It was yet another thing that was hard to let go of. The fact that they knew each other’s bodies so well and knew exactly what to do. It was all working against what should be done and driving them towards pipe dreams.

Her chest heaved, losing her words as they all came out breathless, being greedy for more to fill all the emptiness that had been growing for the past months. “You’re so good, baby.” She hummed, her eyes closing as her mind finally went empty, it went silent with everything else and all they could focus on was the moment and not what was and what would be. It was enough to make Y/n’s hips press more into Jimin, slowly moving them for friction while leaving the older’s chest glistening.

She slowly started to move down further, kissing along the heaving slim stomach until she was on her knees in front of Jimin. The lacy black underwear seeped through with her arousal and Y/n’s fingers hooked at their hem, looking up at Jimin who was sitting up and looking down at her with lust-clouded eyes. She leaned back against her palms, raising her hips and letting Y/n peel off the last piece of her body.

Her hands ran over Jimin’s thighs, spreading her legs further apart while biting onto her lower lip at the view of her glistening pussy that was leaking with juices. She lifted the girl’s leg and rested it over her shoulder before she started to kiss along her inner thighs, gently biting and sucking on the soft flesh as her hands needily kneaded them. It made Jimin heave a sigh, her hand coming to grab hold of Y/n’s head, dwelling in the feeling of the butterfly kisses left along her inner thighs.

Through her hooded eyes, she watched Y/n, making eye contact every time the younger looked up through her lashes for approval of what she was doing despite knowing Jimin’s body better than most things. Her fingers pressed into the flesh as her arm was wrapped around one of her thighs, inching closer until she reached the girl’s heat. It was enough to make the older girl squirm the slightest when she got pulled closer to the edge before feeling the wet muscle drag between her folds.

Y/n grabbed hold of her waist with her free hand, holding Jimin in place to not have her squirm too much. Her tongue ran between her folds, spreading the wetness as she dipped her head and circled the grasping hole. The grip on her hair tightened, ears being filled with soft moans and whimpers as she continued to work her tongue and lips around the puffy cunt. She sucked on her lips, enjoying the mess that was spreading on her chin, lapping every little bit up to get more on her tongue.

Jimin slowly felt herself lose her mind at the teasing tongue, Y/n taking her time to continue working her up. The need continued to bubble inside her, her clit throbbing for attention and her hole clenching as she wanted to be filled until she would feel numb in the brain for at least a few minutes. This was finally something they could grasp at, the escape from everything even the daydream they had created, getting to a real one even if it wouldn’t last too long.

The light moans filled the hotel room when Y/n’s lips at last wrapped around her swollen clit, her tongue coming out to flick at the bud. The pace between slow and fast, sucking and flicking was making Jimin’s thighs tremble around the girl’s head. Her fingers were tangled in Y/n’s hair, pulling her closer to her pussy as her hips faintly bucked at the pleasure.

Y/n drowned, getting as much pleasure from drowning between Jimin’s soft thighs as the girl above her was feeling from the tongue that was toying with her needy cunt. She caressed her heaving stomach with her other hand, kneading the plush flesh of her thigh as she felt Jimin pull her further into her with her leg that was on her shoulder.

“Fuck, Y/n–” She whined, her breathing picking up and growing heavier the longer her clit was played with. She could feel it all slowly approaching her and soon enough she would reach the edge and fall off of it.

The girl dipped her head, her nose rubbing against the swollen clit and her tongue lapped at the juices. The room filled with the sopping sounds of Jimin’s pussy and moans and Y/n’s mouth messily eating her out, moaning at the taste and tugs on her hair, her cock throbbing at how good it felt. With the sticky mess collected on her tongue, she circled her clit and went back to flicking at it and tugging with her lips.

“So close, ‘m so close, baby.”

Her body started to tense up, Y/n’s ears muffled at how the thighs locked around her head with her head being held in place. It made her sore tongue work harder to be able to hear Jimin’s voice go up higher.

That was enough for the older girl to lose her control and the sounds started to spill from her mouth, moaning Y/n’s name in a high pitch. Her body got consumed by heat as her vision blacked out and her ears started to buzz when the orgasm hit its peak as Y/n continued to flick at her clit. It was making her whine and buck her hips for more until she felt herself crash back down to reality. She heaved for air, loosening her grip on Y/n’s hair and the girl slowed down, only leaving small kisses along her skin that was scorching.

When she got back up on her feet their lips met in a vivid kiss, Jimin’s hands working on Y/n’s jeans to undo the loose material. She tugged them down together with Y/n’s boxers, her hand wrapping around the thick cock that was scalding in her hold as she pumped it, smearing the precum as she reached the swollen tip. The whimpers that fell from Y/n’s lips were swallowed by Jimin, moaning into the intense kiss.

She pulled Y/n down, making her lay down on the bed, the younger girl moved back until she was in the middle of the bed, leaning against her elbows. Her eyes were on Jimin who got on the bed before crawling over to her. They got engulfed in each other's heat as she straddled Y/n who slumped back, running her hands over the girl’s thighs and to the back of her ass to caress it.

“No one knows me like you do.” She whispered, leaning down and letting her lips brush over Y/n’s with her fingers tracing along her jawline. No one knew Jimin like Y/n did and no one knew Y/n like Jimin did and even if it looked the way it did, they carried that fact with pride. She pecked the girl's lips, pulling away and letting Y/n chase after her as she tried to grab hold of Jimin’s face, but got her hands pinned down to the bed.

“Jimin–” She tried although was cut off as she let her head fall back against the mattress, fingers twisting the duvet as her wrists were held down by the girl on top of her.

“I hate that now.” She admitted, hating that no one knew her as well as Y/n and that no one would ever get to know her as well again. They had learned from their mistakes and now no one would ever be able to compare. There was no one she would open up to like this again, not when it hurt so much when it all died. They didn’t want to go through this pain twice when they never wanted to experience it to begin with.

“I know.” Jimin huffed, her lips brushing over Y/n’s neck because obviously, the younger girl would know that Jimin hated it now. “Do you regret it?” Y/n mumbled, doing her best to not squirm under the girl who was leaving light kisses along her neck. The words from the other day still lingering, but Jimin knew that she never meant what she said about regretting it.

“No matter how much it hurts–” Jimin pulled away and looked Y/n in the eye, the younger’s head tilting to the side as she stared up at her with hopeful eyes. Y/n’s eyes alone were enough for Jimin to know the answer, she knew it right away as she reached her hand down to Y/n’s face, one still holding her wrists down. Her thumb tenderly caressed along Y/n’s cheek and over her lips. “I could never regret everything I’ve given you.” And everything she gave was all that she had after she placed herself in Y/n’s hands and she would always be there even if what made her give herself in the first place had withered.

Her thumb tugged down on Y/n’s lip before she leaned down and attached their lips once again. Sighs fell from between their lips, Jimin’s hand running between their bodies to grab hold of Y/n’s cock.

Y/n pulled away from the kiss, panting for air as her eyes fell between their bodies, watching Jimin drag the swollen tip through her folds, the slickness and warmth were enough to make Y/n bite back a whine at how good it felt. The grip on her wrists tightened when her tip made contact with Jimin’s clenching hole, slowly pushing into the tightness that sucked her in.

“So tight.” The younger mumbled, her chest heaving at the anticipation as she watched herself slowly disappear inside of the girl on top of her, splitting her folds with her cock. The tight walls engulfed her length, grasping it and sucking her inside with greed as they continuously clenched at the stretch.

“You make me feel so full.” Jimin sighed with a whine at the slight pain.

Y/n’s eyes stayed glued on how her cock got engulfed by Jimin’s tight pussy, splitting her lips around the thick shaft and she slowly moved. The older girl hummed, letting go of Y/n’s wrists. Both her palms rested on top of the girl’s stomach with her nails slightly digging in at the painful stretch. Hands caressed her thighs while she lowered herself until she felt Y/n deep inside her, filling her to the hilt.

Y/n dropped her head, shutting her eyes tightly when she was fully inside Jimin who let out a light moan at the feeling. Her cock was throbbing, twitching at how good it felt, the warm and wet walls were pulsating around her and her stomach flexed with every little move.

She slowly started moving her hips back and forth, her clit still sensitive from her first orgasm as it dragged along Y/n’s pelvis. Her walls fluttered, and being filled up was making her crave more at how good it felt. The feeling of Y/n’s veiny cock raw inside her tight cunt was overwhelmingly good, making out each vein that dragged along her walls.

She gyrated them as they whined back and forth on Y/n’s dick whose lips were parted at the way it dragged along the clenching walls. Her ears were graced by Jimin’s soft gasps and sighs, nails digging into her stomach. The older’s thighs flexed, her walls pulsating and clit throbbing as she slowly increased her speed, chasing her pleasure by using Y/n.

“I love using your cock to make myself feel good,” Jimin whined, her head getting thrown back and Y/n groaned at the words that made her dick ache inside the hot and wet cunt of the girl. Their bodies moved and fit together perfectly like waves that collided against waves, their bodies buzzing with that feeling from the inside as their head splashed with desires.

Her chest heaved at the sight of her girlfriend grinding along her cock, watching how she chased her high once again. The sounds were starting to get more lewd with each moan falling from the girl’s lips, Jimin’s wetness coating Y/n’s base and the mess only got bigger.

“You look so good doing it.” Y/n could feel the way the walls clasped around her at the words, the girl taking all the pleasure in using Y/n for her benefit as Y/n enjoyed it just as much. The way the girl would go on and have her orgasms before Y/n even got to think of hers.

Jimin was on top of her with a vice grip on her cock with her sopping cunt. Y/n’s hands were on her the thighs flexed with each movement and her tip was hitting all the right spots deep inside her. She watched the way the older gasped and threw her head back, dragging her swollen clit along Y/n’s pelvis. Jimin reached behind her and held onto Y/n’s tense thighs instead, rolling her hips in a way that was making her stomach tighten and warm up as she fucked herself on top of the girl.

“I’m so close, baby–fuck, so good.” Her voice cut into a higher pitch as the orgasm started to wash over her with her hips bucking for more and Y/n’s thumb found its way to her swollen clit. She circled the bud as Jimin kept bucking her hips against her, watching the way her chest bounced with each movement.

The throbbing walls clasped around her cock, squeezing it tightly enough for the movement to slow down. Her thighs quivered and she let out cries of pleasure, her voice light and bringing Y/n closer to the edge at how good she looked on top of her. Nails dug into Y/n’s thighs, heat pouring over Jimin’s whole body at her second orgasm.

She heaved for breath, stopping her movement and shivering at the shocks going through her warm body. Her body got engulfed in Y/n’s arms when the girl sat up, her cock still buried deep within the confines of Jimin’s pulsating pussy. She wrapped her arms around Y/n’s shoulders, palms running over her back which was covered in a sheen of sweat.

As Jimin looked at Y/n, she didn’t want to be done yet, she wished she could drag this out for the rest of her life. To make this serene moment last forever as their bodies became one and all that had been on her mind disappeared. Those worries were gone, it was just now, the present forgotten and the future didn’t exist until it was tomorrow and by then it was present again.

She tangled her fingers at the back of Y/n’s hair, slowly moving up and down while pulling Y/n more into her. Their breaths mingled, parted lips grazing until she caught Y/n’s lower lip between hers and gently tugged. It was all that they needed, to be back in each other’s arms, to be close and it started to ignite the spark of hope although it didn’t seem to glow strong enough as it continued to flicker back to life before disappearing.

“I miss you–so much,” Jimin mumbled as she pulled away, moving her hips back and forth as Y/n’s breaths grew heavier. The younger buried her face in the crook of her neck, planting tender kisses. Jimin could feel it all coming back, maybe she hadn’t been drunk enough, or maybe no matter how drunk she was on lust and alcohol she would never be able to drown out the pain of a breaking heart.

The alcohol and lust weren’t able to mend their hearts.

Y/n looked up when Jimin pulled her away from her sweltering neck, their eyes met, Jimin’s were glimmering and the entry to her soul had always been open for Y/n. The longer she stared into the window of her soul, the more she realised how crushed Jimin was and it was enough to clarify that they were both suffering. Her hand smoothed over Y/n’s jaw, running along it as she tilted the girl’s head back, her movement not stopping as she watched Y/n slowly crumble under her.

It was shattering her insides to see Y/n this way, the same way it was shattering Y/n to see Jimin like that. They had never thought that the person they loved the most would be the one to destroy them the most too.

Love was lethal no matter how much two people loved each other.

“Fuck–” Y/n breathed out, being cut off by Jimin’s soft lips, the girl could feel the length inside her grow harder and twitch as it was clasped inside her heat. They swallowed each other’s moans until they no longer could and the older’s pace picked up, her ass colliding with Y/n’s thighs each time she went down while letting out quick and sharp breaths. Y/n’s hands gripped onto her ass, fingers digging into the soft yet firm flesh as she helped Jimin move, feeling the movement slack off at times.

A soft and light moan escaped Jimin’s lips, grounding herself down on Y/n’s cock, arms wrapped around her shoulders as she panted against her neck. Teeth dug into her shoulder, the whimper suppressed from the younger as she could feel the ropes of cum shoot one after another into her, painting her walls white. Y/n pulled away from her shoulder, slipping out of Jimin’s warmth as they eased down to reality.

Everything stilled as the younger girl still held Jimin in her arms, caressing her warm back while taking deep breaths. It felt like neither of them planned to move any second as the girl snuggled closer into Y/n’s neck, burying her face in the crook of it, her eyes shutting tightly.

It was making Jimin’s chest heave at the panic she felt because she could only watch it all slip through her fingers, unable to do anything to save it.

The attempt to suppress her sobs was feeble as the first one slipped through and then a second followed and her tears were staining Y/n’s skin once again. “Jimin–”

“I’m scared, Y/n.” She cried into her neck, sobbing and snivelling as it overwhelmed her once again, this time she wasn’t able to hold back on releasing what was heavily on her chest. It didn’t matter how scared they were to bring up the obvious because the thought of how it would end was terrifying. Neither wanted it to end. However, the realisation dawned upon them and it would all end much sooner than intended if they did nothing about it.

“I’m right here.” Y/n slowly pulled her away, manoeuvring Jimin’s body like fragile butterfly wings that could crumble with a little too much pressure. The girl continued to cry, pulling her knees to her chest, crying into them as Y/n draped the duvet over her, covering her naked body.

She couldn’t grasp at it, at how all the promises died the second their love did, that they made promises they couldn’t keep and it never should have been this way. They promised to love each other forever and they did, but it no longer was the love that was beyond care and compassion. It was adoration and not love, the love; was gone.

Jimin refused to accept it, no, she couldn’t accept that and would dig through every little corner until she found something that would help the withered flower bloom back to life. She’d shed all her tears until her eyes would be bleeding just to have enough to water their flower of love that had died. There had to be some way to save it even if it hurt, even if it hurt more than it already did.

Y/n got back onto the bed after she pulled on her boxers, Jimin was still crying into her knees until the younger girl sat behind her, the duvet resting over the both of them. She held back on her tears as she cradled the weeping girl’s head, lending her shoulder to cry on once again and she would continue doing so until her last breath. It would never matter what type of love they held for each other, she would always care even if everything else they used to have that was deeper had died.

It was a death neither of them knew how to cope with.

“I’m here for you.” She reassured her, kissing the top of her head.

“I hate this, Y/n—” Her sobs cut through her words, her hands gripping the duvet before they let go, feeling hopeless; what was there to hold on to in reality? There was nothing to hold onto as they both freely fell through hell for each other. It made them weak in so many ways. “Nothing is the same anymore and I don’t know what to do.” Acceptance was hard for anyone, it had always been hard, but it was even harder when it came to something they made their whole lives revolve around. How could they just accept that their worlds no longer circled the other?

It stung, it hurt deeply to think that this was possible, something they had never thought about had become their reality. The flower that bloomed with their love was dead. Yet these tears and the pain they felt at the thought of needing to let go made them want to try again. One last try to revive something that had been dead and cold for months. If some miracle happened, they would be able to bring it back to life. Their love would bloom from a dead flower at some point, they would continue watering it with their tears, crying over the dead flower that was their love in hopes of it coming back to life.

“We can make it work again.” Y/n wasn’t brave enough to say the words, she wasn’t strong enough to say them for Jimin and herself. To admit for the both of them that what was lost was lost and that it was time to say goodbye and bury their love because there was nothing to save once it was already gone.It was too difficult to bury it when they had yet to accept its death. They had no clue how to cope with everything.

It was eating at them, tearing them apart and glueing them back together into an even bigger mess.

“We can fix everything,” Y/n reassured, knowing that these could as well be empty words and new promises to break, but she couldn’t give up. She couldn’t give up on Jimin even if they were mistaking care and compassion for a small ember of love that they could turn into a fire. That fire had gone out a while ago and what was left were ashes.

“Do you think that’s possible?” She whimpered, wanting to do anything to try and grasp at that false little ember of hope.

“I don’t know,” Y/n whispered, just as uncertain, but she would do anything for Jimin even if it meant ruining herself.

They couldn’t know, but at least it was reassurance that they didn’t have to let go yet and could continue no matter how much it hurt because it would hurt even more if they were apart. It was too difficult to let go of someone they had built their lives around. They would hurt for each other and they would choose that over happiness with someone else because no one would ever be able to give them what they used to have.

They longed for each other’s love. They missed it and just wanted to feel it again but it was all gone. It no longer felt like it used to and they missed those feelings they used to have. Where did they go wrong for it to happen in the first place? What were they supposed to do to fix it? Let go and move on. Stay and continue to drag through the impossible to try and fix it?

They weren’t in love anymore, they just loved each other.

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kopilot-pop · 5 months

Text

[Aespa x Touch-Starved! Reader]

- imagine.

Summary: You’re a just really touch starved cat in a human body, and Aespa adores you.

Warnings: poly!aespa, alcohol, cursing, overabundance of fluff, unseriousness, etc.

A/N: While writing this I had to search if touch-starved meant what I thought it meant. I found out that there’s alot of variations so I just wrote based off of my touch-starved ass. I’m experiencing a very slight writer’s block, so I wrote this as something easy. Thank you all for loving my fics <3

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Even after a year of being a team and an additional 6 months of being in a relationship, your girlfriends never noticed how much affection you really craved.

It’s not like they weren’t affectionate towards you - no, quite the opposite actually.

They love to hold your hand, kiss you, cuddle you, but they hesitated whenever you flinched

You weren’t scared or anything, just not used to that much affection; but they didn’t know that

So the four of them kind of came to think that you didn’t like physical affection at all :0

So it was basically torture to watch them slowly distance themselves (only physically, they still made sure to tell you how much they love you)

But since you were shy and scared to directly ask for their touch, you just sucked it up

But hey, the girls aren’t stupid y’know?

Jimin noticed how much you craved their affection when she decided to wake you up the morning she arrived back from a Paris fashion show.

Her hand was resting on your cheek, gently drawing circles with her thumb as she tried to wake you up for breakfast

When you started to stir she tried to get up

but you snatched her hand back

You were definitely asleep, so she was surprised how strong you were

literally WRESTLING her hand to force it back on your face

“Mmmh… is cold…”

Her nose might have bled a little

Safe to say she took a million photos of you like that and changed it to her wallpaper.

Ever since that incident (that you don’t even know happened), she started to be a bit more forward with pda.

Aeri noticed when you clinged onto her before he had to leave for Tokyo.

You guys decided to get dinner together and ended up getting drunk

While walking towards the dorm, you would act like her shadow, stuck right behind her as the two of you waddled back into the house

a very giggly Gigi

“Y/n I need to change-!”

Getting ready for bed and you’re right beside her with a prominent pout on your face

When she gave you a peck to stop it, she noticed the slight twinkle in your eyes (ur so whipped)

If the others held you alot, she’s the one that kissed you alot

So before she removes her makeup she leaves a bunch of kiss marks on your face :0

She kind of panics when you drunkingly tell her you aren’t going to wash your face until she comes back from Tokyo

Minjeong realized the moment she walked through the door and you decided to carry her everywhere (honestly she’s smol)

she smells alcohol on you, making her even more confused

you didn’t even say anything man, just yoinked her

“AH-! Y/n what-?!”

You just grab her and sit down on the couch to watch some shitty show you put on a few hours ago… while finishing 4 bottles of soju.

In a span of 5 minutes, Minjeong suddenly became your personal teddy bear

she hates the smell of alcohol, but watching you snuggle up to her with such a giddy face made her put up with it (she’s whipped)

loves the way you practically melt when she starts to play with your hair

Ning found out about your love for physical affection in the dumbest way possible

You were lounging on her bed, watching an interview she took a week ago, when she started to talk about her sleeping habits

“Oh yeah, I have this bear from IKEA that I like to hug while sleeping. It’s really soft and..”

You started to get annoyed as your girlfriend went on about it and snapped your head up to see the bear staring right at you (it wasn’t, you were just jealous of a fucking stuffed animal)

Now imagine Ningning walking into her room after a photoshoot and you’re just sucker-punching her stuffed bear.

“???Y/N?? What are you doing???”

You ramble an apology/explanation, but all she understands is that you want to be cuddled too (you didn’t say that of course. she just has a ‘Y/n translator’)

She makes fun of you alot after that, but decides to grant your unspoken wish

Just snuggling into your jacket (that you’re wearing btw) whenever it’s cold, hugging you from behind as you get your makeup fixed…

she thinks its cute how you freeze up for a few seconds before melting into her

(it’s poly so im gonna add more)

the 4 of them have a long chat about your actions

and after talking for a while, they come to the realization that you were actively seeking for their touch only when you were half asleep or drunk.

Aeri’s the one that comes to the conclusion that you are touch-starved

So that’s why every Saturday, you’re dragged to the living room to have a movie day with your girlfriends.

You’re slightly nervous when you’re put on the center of the couch.

But by the end of the film, you’re quite literally molding into the couch

Jimin is on your right, with her face leaned against your shoulder as she plays with Minjeong’s hair.

Minjeong is on the ground with her body leaning against your leg.

While Ning is on the other side of the floor, holding your hand in a tight lock.

And Aeri’s the one softly rubs circles on your arm, sitting on your left

you’re just stuck in the middle like:🧍🏻‍♀️

They think it’s adorable how much you can relax with them

One time, an interviewer was being extremely rude, making snarky remarks about you and your performance

and Karina’s immediate reaction was to hold your hand while Ning told him off with a smile on her face

and when Jimin held your hand you genuinely did not care what that man said

another time you were extremely nervous before a solo performance for the MMA and the girls could tell how tense your shoulders were

but they all watched Minjeong lightly touch your neck and your back muscles just relaxing automatically

Ningning’s confused laughter because she didn’t know human bodies could work like that

Fans love watching you melt like a puppy during lives

just clips of ‘Y/n with Aespa vs. Others’ going around the internet

and one of those clips is you napping on the couch when a staff member helps fix your hair

you lean into the touch at first but jolt awake

vs. you asleep again in the waiting room couch when Giselle fixes your hair

and this time you don’t wake up, just leaning more and more into the touch

what they don’t see in that clip is the other 3 squealing and Aeri ending up with you cuddled up inside her arms <3

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#aespa imagines #aespa x reader #aespa #aespa fanfic #karina x reader #yu jimin x reader #giselle x reader #aeri uchinaga x reader #winter x reader #kim minjeong x reader #ningning x reader #ning yizhuo x reader #fluff

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strawbsj · 2 months

Note

hi, can u do gp Karina x reader?

I have been feral over rina and step sis smut so I had to write one!!!

STEP-SIS RINA!!

Pairings: Step-sister G!p Karina x step-sister Fem reader!

Word count: 1k-ish

Warnings: alcohol consumption, drunk sex, p in v, words bitch, slut, whore etc used, mean Karina, switch reader and rina, make out session, parents divorce, pantie stealing, kinda fuck girl rina, step-cest, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your Willy), not proofread and just nasty smut!!!

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Moving or changing environments was never something you enjoyed. Each time you moved to a new house, you were met with an unfamiliar and hollow feeling. When you found out that your parents were separating and everyone would be starting a new life in different homes, it felt like a sharp pain in your heart. And to add to that, your mother has found a new man, which means that you’re going to move in with him and his bitch of a daughter.

Karina was never nice to you, you knew her since high school. She was a bitch, heartbreaker, mean attitude and what you call a whore. She has fucked every girl you’d think of principals daughter, fucked. Girls football Teams captain, done ages ago. Girls basketball teams coach, done. Every girl that would pass by, lured already.

She could literally get anyone down between her legs, sucking her cock dry. Only one person has never acknowledged her, you. You saw her as an attention-begging bitch, whose chin is up.

That made Karina’s jaw clench in humiliation. She made tons of plans but none of them worked, all of them failing miserably. The way you never even glance her way or give her the attention that she wants. She almost gave up until…

She found out her dad was moving in with your mom, it was like discovering a $100 bill on the street, waiting for someone to claim it. And what a fool she would be if she didn't grip that chance.

During the first meeting between your mother, yourself, and her father, she was smiling brightly and talking non-stop. She was showering you and your mom with compliments and fake pouting when it was time for you to leave. Her fake act was so fake that it made you feel nauseous and you wanted to vomit.

And that’s how she acted every time your mom and her man were around, doing the most stomach aching fake shit she could ever muster. You never even flashed a smile towards her, your mom thought you were too mean and rude to your step-sister who was only trying to be a good sister to you.🥺😔

She eavesdropped when your mom was talking to you, or more like complaining about how you should start getting grip of your mean attitude. Even tho she is the mean one here, she only plastered one of her signature smirks and headed towards her room.

Your parents were leaving for their honeymoon, leaving you and that annoying thing all alone and….together. Like you thought things can’t get worse but oh how wrong you were.

You hated to admit or acknowledge this, the agitated tension replaced by sexual tension. You don’t know why or how, but the way she left lingering touches on your thigh. Or how she rubbed her crotch against your heat when passing by you in the kitchen or how she stole your used panties and jerked off to them, you know each piece of your panties and the one she stole was your favorite so you immediately noticed when it got lost, only finding it under her bed days later when your mom told you to clean her room since Karina is all day out.

You smirked to yourself and decided to play with her further, your outfits getting skimpier and skimpier each passing day. Your clothed heat rubbing against her uncomfortable erection a little longer or the way your boobs press against her back.

You were laying comfortably on your bed scrolling through whatever shit that popped up into your feed. Karina was out in those frat parties probably a girl bent over and against some available counter for her, ramming her cock in and out of that slutty pussy.

But to your surprise she was not. She was downstairs having her own bar at home, drinking anything that she had her hands on, her alcohol tolerance was high and she could drink and be perfectly fine. So when she came to your room, alcohol smell overshadowing her expensive perfume you knew that she had drunk a lot and is not in her right senses.

“Karina what are you-“ you got cut off with a strong whiskey tasting kiss, it was like you were the one who drunk not her, for actually kissing her back. Even tho your mind hated this, your heart loved every bit of it. Your lips dancing against each other’s passionately. She bit your lower lip earning a gasp from you, her tongue moving inside your mouth exploring your mouth, then her tongue started sucking your tongue.

Her hands roamed all over your body, not knowing where to touch first. Her fingers impatiently fiddling with the straps of your top, letting it slide down along the strap of your bra. Your neck area and the sexy parting of your boobs, leaving her mouth watered. She started kissing down your jaw then neck and chest, coating all this area with her saliva, and the saliva that once was in your mouth.

Her hands squishing and squeezing your soft mounds, the smell of the alcohol and those intoxicating kisses making your brain shut and mind dizzy. Desire swiping off all the thoughts of this being wrong.

Your hand traveled down to her sweats, palming the rock hard erection that she has been slowly humping against your legs. You massaged it and rubbed small circles over it, making her hiss in the pleasurable pain, wanting more.

You changed positions,you now on top of her. Your clit making contact with her base, grinding yourself against it, high pitched moans threatening to fall, but you couldn’t care less and let them fall.

Her swinging her hips and rubbing her erection back at you. The friction more and better.

You lifted yourself up and slid down her sweats then boxers. Her cock springing out, red and heavy, blood rushing through it. You discarded your shorts and top, throwing them in the same pile as her sweatpants. Your legs were in each side of her hips, you lifted yourself up once more before sinking down on her length. A choked moan from you and a groan from her. Her tip hit your g-spot perfectly. You stayed there not moving, enjoying the sight of her so desperate and hungry for you. Squirming trying to start thrusting back up at you, gripping your waist so tightly, that red nail marks were there.

You leaned down on her, making your boobs suffocate her. She took a deep inhale, processing your perfume. The smell that made her crave you more and a low whine escaped her lips.

You decided enough teasing. You started sinking your core down to meet her tip, which parted your folds deliciously. Whimpers coming from the both of you. You fucked yourself faster, using her as your own personal dildo.

Her loud groans echoing through the room along with your moans. She was always dominant in every hook up she had, but being the submissive for once was different type of pleasure. One she didn’t think she’d like this much.

The pornographic scene and noises that came out of you and the way you basically were jumping on her dick. Made her cum shoot deep inside your womb, your tummy slightly swollen and your juices ran down your thighs then her pelvis. Your tight hole squeezing her now more.

She laid there limp and you laid on top of her. Not long after she was in a deep slumber, you were admiring her deeply, you never knew how pretty she actually is till now.

Deep down you maybe loved this even more than her.

#karina smut #aespa karina x reader #aespa x fem reader #aespa x reader #aespa smut #aesp karina #yu jimin #yu jimin x reader #yu jimin smut #yu jimin x fem reader #aespa jimin #aespa hard thoughts #aespa hard hours #aespa x you #karina x reader #aespa karina #karina

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jihyoruri · 7 months

Note

Hiii!! Can we get some hcs of Karina teasing aespa!yn?? 😭

I’ll give y’all three that I just thought of 😭

KARINA TEASING YN — yu jimin x 5th member reader

clip one ✯

yn brought her knees to her chest as her and her leader sat on the floor, jimin’s arm rest over yn’s knees as she talks to the live, there’s more fans than usual since it’s not everyday that you see yn and jimin together alone.

“karina is being so touchy today.” jimin reads before laughing and patting yn, “I’m always touchy with yn.”

yn looks at her leader from the corner of her eye, knowing the words that came out of jimin’s mouth was both a truth and a lie. “right yn?”

yn’s face heats up slightly at jimins tone, she looks through the corner of her eye to see her leader looking at her intently, “uh yeah.” she stammered out.

clip two ✯

the five girls stand side by side as aeri explains the girls concept to the interviewer.

jimin who stood beside yn but her hand on the girls back to get her to fix her horrible posture and yn jumps slightly at the touch of her leader.

she realizes why jimin put her hand on her back, she fixes her posture immediately but comes to shock when jimin doesn’t move her hand from her back and only slides it down to yn’s lower back.

yn looks down trying her best to hide her heated face. she looks up startled when her name is called.

“yn are you okay? you look a bit sick.” the interviewer asks the girl, she nods rapidly, her face heating up even more when she hears her leaders soft chuckle.

clip three ✯

yn stands on a part of the stage by herself like always as her and her members do a sound check.

she rocks side to side softly to the sound of minjeongs voice as she held her mic to her chest.

as the song goes on she brings the mic to her lips singing her part of the song but cuts herself off with a startled scream when she feels a hand grab the back of her neck out of knowhere.

she turns around to come face to face with her leader who laughs at her reaction, the sound of the other girls laughs being heard in the background as well.

“are you serious?” yn whines throwing her head back before turning back around to walk somewhere else.

“come on yn.” jimin drags out as she grabs yns wrist and pulls the girl back to her side and wraps her arm around yn’s shoulder before putting her mic to her lips to sing.

#aespa x reader #aespa!yn #yu jimin x reader #karina x reader #girl group imagines

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jaemoris · 3 months

Text

↪　pairing:　richgirl!karina x athlete!reader ↪　genre:　smut, angst, fluff MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI YOU WILL BE BLOCKED ↪　warnings:　some chapters will have suggestiveness and or smut, manipulation, gaslighting, violence, toxic relationships, features ot4 aespa, kim chaewon, huh yunjin, choi yeonjun, lee felix, lee jeno. each chapter will have its own warnings. ↪　wordcount:　each chapter has a wordcount of 5-15k. ↪　authors note:　me after disappearing for weeks after posting a teaser just to turn the fic into a series cause i procrastinate too much and i say 'its gonna be easier for me' but its not.. anyways hi im back

TEASER　:　read here. ﹒synopsis﹒　after arriving at your new surprisingly lavish dorm, you meet your roommate who just so happens to be the idol of the school. you were already nervous enough, but your stress grew quicker as you realized you would have to share a bed with her. half naked. ﹒words﹒　679 ﹒genre & warnings﹒　suggestiveness (descriptions of karinas body & underwear), swearing, karina's a little sneaky

CHAPTER I　:　unreleased . . .

CHAPTER II　:　unreleased . . .

CHAPTER III　:　unreleased . . .

CHAPTER IV　:　unreleased . . .

CHAPTER V　:　unreleased . . .

CHAPTER VI　:　unreleased . . .

CHAPTER VII　:　unreleased . . .

　taglist: @junoswrlld @run2seob @linnnsworld @hwm1hyun @rinapomu @myouicieloz @imahallucination11 @fruitr0llup @wonyoluvr 　⟢　ask to be added

#aespa fic #aespa smut #aespa x reader #aespa x fem reader #karina smut #karina x fem reader #karina aespa #yu jimin imagines #aespa imagines #karina imagines #aespa karina #yu jimin x reader #wlw smut #wlw #gg fic #gg smut

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jenscx · 19 days

Text

HAPPINESS — yu jimin x f!reader

jimin made you feel like life was worth living for.

TAGS — situationship, strangers to lovers, ive member!yn, jealousy, angst, fluff, birthday fic for jimin

WORDCOUNT — 3.8k

it hadn’t been long since you and karina met. by luck, she was attending a fashion show and had gravitated to you during the after-party. it was an unforgettable experience; one of the most gorgeous idols constantly hovering around you, eyes lingering on the silky black, backless dress you adorned, fingers dancing across your arms… needless to say, you had immediately asked for her contact information, only to receive a cryptic smile in return.

“why not just,” she whispered, “come back to my place instead?”

you had instantly declined, “i’m sorry, i don’t do that. and don’t you live with your members anyway?” karina merely shrugged, eyes twinkling with a gleam you couldn’t name.

“then shouldn’t we go back to yours?”

exasperated, you shake your head, “i just said, i don’t do that. i was interested before, and you are jaw-droppingly beautiful, but i’m not intending to go anywhere tonight, karina.”

the girl hesitated for a few seconds. you raised an eyebrow. she grins, “call me jimin.”

it had only been a month since that interaction. since then, your relationship has progressed. from strangers to friends and now tethering on the edge of a relationship. or as your member yujin had described, a ‘situationship’. it was so easy to open up to jimin, her sweet talk, midnight chats and relentless insistence to annoy you had captured your attention. she was so stupidly cute.

you had fallen.

and jimin seemed to have as well.

no one would stay up till midnight talking to a situationship unless they really liked them, right?

and even though jimin had a schedule the next day, you and her were still in a heated discussion about which ice cream flavour was the superior one (it was always vanilla).

the alarm on your phone rang. in bright words read, ‘milan fashion show.’ you smile to yourself. it was another chance to see jimin after her hectic schedule. you barely had time to see her during her break, and now your schedules finally matched up. you couldn’t wait to see her.

jiminie [7.41am]:

hihihi good morning

i’ll see u ltr :))

ynie [8.20am]:

morning!

can’t wait.

you turn your phone off with a bright grin, barely keeping your excitement under wraps. your flight was at 10 and by the time you reached milan, it would be around 11 in the evening. it was going to be a long flight, but the thought of seeing jimin again made your stomach tighten up. was this what people in relationships feel? it was so bizarre that the simple thought of someone could so easily make you feel breathless.

unable to contain your exhilaration, you get some weird stares from your manager and assistants. meekly apologising, you close your eyes as they drive to the airport, dreaming of a certain main dancer.

you blink. how did you get here?

jimin, was just standing a few feet away from you, but she had barely spared you a glance the whole day. she didn’t even greet you or anything. even after the crew had asked for you two to stand together, jimin was at least a metre away, not daring to stand in your vicinity. you could cry.

especially with the heart eyes every other person was sending her way. you swallow the lump in your throat, staring at the man who stood a little close for comfort next to her. and throughout the show, you could only stare longingly at the back of her head, sighing every once in a while when the two of them would pose. it was devastating.

“you good?” one of the other attendants asked. you think you recognise them from a recent drama you’ve watched.

“yeah,” you mumble, taking a sip of the champagne in your glass. at the corner of your eye, you could see jimin and that man conversing, both sharing giggles and whispers. your grip on the glass tightens. groaning, you look away, trying to hide the hurt on your face from being ignored so obviously. all your attempts at conversation had been shut down and she brushed past all your waves.

you saunter to the corner, taking a seat and pulling out your phone.

yujin [9.27pm]:

how’s it gg

yn [10.14pm]:

it’s like i don’t even exist.

i don’t know what i should do

she keeps talking to some guy

yujin [10.15pm]:

girl gtfo

you agree with yujin. if karina wanted to ignore you, so be it. there was nothing for you to do anyway. after sending a quick message to your manager, you get back up, heading back to the group of actors and idols alike that were engaged in conversation.

coincidentally, karina and her partner for the night had joined as well. it wasn’t difficult to avoid eye contact when she wouldn’t even look in your direction.

“i’ve requested for more champagne,” one of them say, “anybody wants a refill?”

a murmur of chorus emerges.

the waiter stares at your glass expectantly, the bottle in his hand waiting.

“ah… no, i’m leaving soon,” you say awkwardly, handing your glass to another waiter passing by. karina’s head shoots up.

“shame,” they all agree.

“your manager’s picking you up?” karina finally speaks. you longed for her voice, but you’re not very appreciative of it now.

you nod, barely wanting to start a conversation with the girl.

“i’ll walk you out.”

can you really refuse in front of all these people? you already had a reputation of being a bitch. refusing karina’s offer was going to severely damage your image.

you just hold your tongue.

the cold air greets you warmly, unlike karina. you relish in the gusts of wind, waiting patiently outside the gala for your manager’s distinguishable car. karina hums a gentle tune, turning to you.

“how was the show?”

“good,” you reply, curt.

karina doesn’t back down.

“you had fun?” you nod.

“i didn’t get to talk to you at all, it’s sad you’re leaving now.”

you shrug.

“why are you leaving so early?”

“tired.”

“hm, okay.”

you stand in silence while karina fidgets beside you, her hands constantly twirling her hair and eyes darting around. cursing yourself, you take a quick glance at her. the girl’s deep, lush and dark hair flows charmingly in the wind. her eyes draw you in, hypnotising you deeply, full of uncertainty and hesitance for the first time you’ve met her.

“do you have something to say?” you ask. karina huffs, blowing her bangs covering her eyes.

“i do, but it just depends if you’ll listen to me.”

“depends on what you’re asking for,” you reply.

karina smiles, smaller than before, “stay. just for a few more minutes. with me.”

you contemplate. just for a few minutes.

“only until my manager comes.”

she falters, it’s the first time you’ve ever subtly rejected her company, but a practised mask of indifference is put on.

there’s an uncomfortable silence, one that neither of you are willing to acknowledge. you start to regret your decision; you should have just asked her to go back in, instead of waiting out here with you like a fool.

“minjeong’s been talking about this milan cathedral, called duomo di milano, it’s really pretty,” karina looks at you expectantly, “do you have the day off tomorrow for sightseeing?”

you answer slowly, “i do have the day off...”

“where are you staying? i’ll come pick you up.”

“but i don’t want to go, karina,” you complete your sentence. shock passes her face rather quickly.

“uhm, do you want to go somewhere else?”

you shake your head, wanting her to get the hint that you weren’t exactly jumping for the opportunity to hang out.

“we could go shopping at this galleria that aeri mentioned, it has a hotel and everything.”

“no, thanks for offering.”

karina’s tethering on the edge of distress, her face showing visible distraught by now, no longer caring to hide behind a mask of impassiveness. you check your phone again. notifications line your lock screen, most of them coming from yujin.

yujin [10.29pm]:

are u out of there yet

make sure to get back safe

also call me ltr i need to tell u smth

omg jiwon js told me she left seo at home alone

you smile at yujin messages. the leader’s caring nature makes your heart warm and the mention of your other members makes you miss them.

“your manager texting you?” karina asks.

“uh, no,” you reply vaguely, not very keen on talking to her. karina frowns.

“are you sick? do you feel unwell?” she lifts a hand up to touch your neck. the fleeting touch of her fingers already caused goosebumps against your skin.

“i’m fine, karina.”

the mention of her name makes her glare at you, “didn’t i say to call me jimin?”

unable to answer coherently, you settle for silence. karina huffs, seemingly getting irritated.

she opens her mouth once again, but the honk of a car distracts you. the window rolls down and you recognise your manager.

“thanks for uhm, staying here with me,” you bow, “have a good night.” you were upset, but that wouldn’t stop you from being polite.

karina merely watches you leave.

your manager gives you about five minutes of peace and tranquillity before unleashing an onslaught of questions onto you, like “why’d you leave?” or “did someone say something to you?” you answer truthfully to most of his questions.

unable to get a proper response, he just drives back and tells you to not get into any trouble on your day-off.

(“what trouble would i even get into?”

“i’ll actually quit if dispatch posts a photo of you drinking with your friends.”

“that would be impossible since i don’t have any friends.”)

meanwhile, yujin fills you in on the stupid shit your members get up to during your absence. like rei putting aluminium into the microwave and wonyoung just managing to stop her in time.

your phone lights up with notifications throughout the night and you hate the fact that it doesn’t bring you the same excitement like before. the morning after, a chain of messages graces your phone.

jiminie [9.17am]:

are u awake?

jiminie [9.20am]:

when are u gg back to korea?

hello?

ynie [9.31am]:

tmrw

jiminie [9.31am]:

do u feel like gg out tdy?

you turn off your phone, sighing. you would have felt bad for being so distant but the mere thought of karina with that guy yesterday night made you feel unneeded. why was she texting you and asking to hang out with you when she already had someone to go to?

there was no point overthinking about her.

karina would just be another failed situationship. she didn’t mean that much to you (she did). she wasn’t the first thing you thought of once you woke up (she was). and she definitely couldn’t be a good girlfriend for you (she definitely could be).

the hotel doorbell rings. you quirk an eyebrow, not remembering ever ordering room service. maybe your manager knew you wouldn’t be going out for breakfast.

you don’t bother checking the peephole, the hotel you were staying at was very tight on security and only celebrities stayed at this floor. you open the door, stomach grumbling at the thought of food.

“yn.”

oh.

karina stands at your door, a small smile on her face. you feel terribly underdressed compared to her in your bathrobe and messy bed hair.

“good morning,” you greet hoarsely.

“hurry up and get dressed.”

you stop karina from entering your room.

“what are you talking about?”

“we’re going out whether you like it or not. you shouldn’t rot in your room, you should be exploring milan, before you leave, with me.”

do you really have a choice to say no? (yes, you do).

in your heart, you knew in the end, you wouldn’t ever say no to karina.

“okay.”

she grins and you forget why you were even upset in the first place.

karina waits patiently while you finish getting ready. she’s on the balcony admiring the view when you’re done.

“where are we going?” you grab a mask and a cap as karina puts on her shoes again.

“it’s a surprise, and you don’t need those,” karina answers, pointing at the items in your hand. you frown.

“people will recognise me. they’ll see me with you.”

karina shakes her head, “it’s fine, i don’t mind it.”

i mind it though.

you end up leaving them by your bedside table.

“where are we going?” you repeat as karina drags you out of the door. she groans, “stop asking! i already told you it’s a surprise.”

“i need to tell my manager.”

karina pouts, “i’ve already contacted him, just stop worrying about everything.”

her words seem so easy to believe now. to stop worrying about everything.

the streets of milan are filled with cafes and luxury brands. with it being one of the most visited cities, tourists and locals alike roam the area. at every corner, there’s either an art gallery or museum. you must admit that the architecture is simply amazing. quaint bookstores and coffee shops provide a sense of peace away from the bustling metropolitan city. milan was beautiful.

karina pulls you into a cafe, the strong aroma of coffee already filling your senses. there’s a quiet ambience of chatter and the soft footsteps of the waiters walking around. the girl brings you to one of the tables near the window. it gives you a view of a clothing shop adjacent to the cafe, full of customers.

“milan’s called a fashion capital,” karina remarks, “it’s one of europe’s most dynamic cities.” when you don’t reply, karina stands up, awkwardly saying, “i’ll go order our food.”

you nod.

she comes back soon, red in the face and fumbling with her wallet.

you ignore it.

“uhm, anyway, did you sleep well last night?”

“yeah.”

“okay… uh, what time is your flight tomorrow?”

“i think it’s in the morning,” you feel pity for karina who’s been desperately trying to keep the conversation going, “what about you?”

karina’s face lights up, “it’s at one in the afternoon.”

the waiter soon arrives with your food. its mouth-watering. karina hands the waiter a note and says something in italian that you don’t understand.

“you can speak italian?” you ask, curiosity taking over you.

“yeah, a little,” karina mumbles. she doesn’t seem to want to elaborate, so you don’t bother asking any more. you gorge yourself out with the pastries that karina ordered, all while she looks a little constipated and unsure.

“you’re not going to eat?”

“i… i already ate before coming here.”

you nod, continuing to chew.

“it’s so early, who’s awake to even eat with?”

karina mutters, “i ate with jaewook.” you swallow the piece of bread in your mouth. the sweetness you tasted on your tongue is gone, just left with a bitter taste. you regret even asking her. you regret coming out of your hotel to eat pastries with her at 9 in the morning.

your head feels clouded. it’s not only gravity pulling you down. it’s a wrangling chain clutching your heart, pulling it into your stomach. the more you think about karina and that guy together, the more you feel like puking out all the sweet treats you stuffed your mouth with. you wanted to get rid of anything related to her.

“are you okay?” she asks.

no, you want to reply.

“i wanna go back,” you say instead.

lying was always better than telling her the truth.

“what? no, uhm,” karina blurts out, panicked, “you can’t go back yet, we still have a lot to sightsee.”

“please let me go back,” you beg, feeling a wave of nausea take over. between her incessant pleading to not leave and the vision of the two of them, jealousy fills your every vein.

“i planned a lot for today and oh my god, yn—” you can’t stand it anymore.

swiftly, you take out a wad of cash, placing it on the table and leaving the cafe without a second look behind. you stomp out quick, steady steps back to the hotel and you can feel karina hot on your heels. she calls out for your name, but to no avail do you turn back. you think of a plan. once you get back to your room, you’re going to block karina on everything. she’s never going to exist in your life ever again. if your job requires you to interact with her, it’s a bare minimum. you’ll break off contact with all of your mutual friends, ryujin, minjeong, maybe chaewon (but yujin and wonyoung would kill you).

it’s only when you reach a traffic light that karina catches up with you. once it flashes red, you groan. you can basically see karina’s triumphant smirk at the corner of your eye.

“are you done running now?”

you take a good look at karina. she’s panting, not more than you are, and her cheeks are flushed red.

the light flashes green.

“no.”

and the chase begins again.

karina tails you until you reach the hotel lobby. you open up your purse, searching for the keycard. karina is just a few steps behind.

you hear gasps of recognition behind you, the very reason you wanted to cover up your identity.

the moment the lift reaches the ground floor, you slide in, rapidly pressing the close button. karina, however, navigates through the crowd and manages to reach the lift in time.

you groan, your attempt at running away has failed. maybe you could still convince karina to leave you alone somehow. she wouldn’t try to break into your room, right?

“this is awkward now.”

“yeah, i wasn’t expecting you to follow me,” you sneer, “if a woman says she wants to leave, just let her leave for god’s sake.”

“okay, that’s my fault but you literally left out of nowhere, and you’ve been acting weird ever since last night,” karina argues back.

the lift beeps. you exit it with karina following you closely behind, still ongoing about your sudden change in behaviour.

“like last night, you left early and we didn’t even have time to talk or anything, and when i asked you about it you didn’t even explain anything?! just brushed me off and left! can you just tell me what’s going on?”

you two reach your room.

“i don’t need to explain myself to you. i said i was tired.”

“okay, but what about today? i planned the whole day for us to hang out and you just got up and left? what the hell! are you just an asshole who plays with people’s feelings? you told me you ‘can’t wait to see me’ and then just left like that,” karina raises her voice. a elderly couple passes you two and you feel self-conscious. you were just standing outside your room letting karina yell at you.

“come in then yell, you’re getting weird looks.”

karina inhales sharply, finally calming down.

you sit down on one of the lounge chairs, taking a deep breath.

“i really don’t have anything to explain to you. i’m sorry. and i’m not the one playing with people’s feelings here.”

“what? are you insinuating that i’m the one playing with your feelings?”

“uh, if the shoe fits?”

karina slaps your arm, “are you serious right now? can you just talk to me for once?! is this your first time being friends with someone?” friends? since when were you ever just friends with karina?

“no, it isn’t,” you swallow, “it’s my first time feeling this way for someone.”

“what?”

“do you know how many times i think about you in a day? it’s once, because i never stop. it hurts me every time i see you with someone else and i know i shouldn’t feel this way because while you reside in my mind, i have to hope that I cross yours once in a while to feel less pathetic of myself. do you know how that feels? to want to exist in someone’s thoughts. i feel happy just to know that you’re even acknowledging my presence. but you didn’t. you didn’t even care when i was there, so you shouldn’t care when i’m not,” the weight of unshed tears came pouring out. you let out a watery but hollow laugh. karina makes your heart ache, she makes you feel defeated and useless, she makes you feel angry and jealous.

“you make me feel that life is worth living for. that i went through all those torturous years just to meet you.”

karina, is life in itself.

“and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to find someone else that makes me feel this way. have you ever felt that way about someone?”

she stares at you, unblinking. she comes to terms with your words finally.

“i’m sorry,” she says.

“it’s fine,” you sniffle, wiping your tears.

“i’m sorry i hurt you.”

“of course you’ll hurt me. of course we’ll hurt each other, because this is the condition of living. and what’s not love, if not living for each other?”

“i didn’t know you felt that way about me.”

you sigh, “regret is a stupid thing. when you reject me, i would be better off knowing that we wouldn’t work out because you don’t like me, rather than me not telling you and wondering if we would ever work out. and you’re with that guy anyway.”

“who told you i would reject you? and who said i was with him?”

“oh.”

“i feel everything that you’ve just said, about you. and i’m upset that you were planning to just throw me away like that because of our inability to communicate.”

you laugh, more heartily this time, “i just didn’t want to be one of your conquests or whatever.”

“you’re more than one of my conquests. i wouldn’t dream of even letting you go. some people search their whole lives to find what i found in you. you can be assured that i won’t ever let you go.”

her sincere words draw red to your cheeks, warmth spreads from your neck to the tip of your ears. “you still like me,” you repeat, “even when i’m a jealous freak, have commitment issues and i care too much?”

“even with all those traits. if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be the yn i like,” karina’s voice softens as does her touch. she takes your hand in hers, caressing the back of your hand with her palm.

“even if i don’t understand why you get angry and why you ignore me, i still like you. that’s what makes you, you. and love is all about understanding.”

you nod. all the crying has made you feel drowsy, and your fatigue is apparent, since karina smiles in amusement and says, “wash up and take a nap. i’ll be here.”

she’ll be here.

“thank you, jimin.”

karina, or rather, jimin, chuckles, “hurry up and shower. i hope you brought extra clothes since i’m going to change too.”

you quickly wash up and so does jimin. the two of you settle into the bed, your hands clutching at jimin for warmth and intimacy. you have her. the thought allows you to drift asleep, finally knowing that jimin’s heart beats the same for yours.

when the sun sets as you wake up from your nap, you can’t help but blurt out, “i adore you.”

jimin, pleasantly surprised, only giggles back.

“i adore you too, in ways words cannot express.”

maybe paris wasn’t the city of love. yours was milan.

🎙️ author’s note: this is probably one of my favourite fics i’ve written. most of my own personal values have been put into this fic. regret is a stupid thing, we only live once and we have no idea if we’ll ever get to live again. find people that makes life worth living for. happy birthday yu jimin, aespa’s stupid cheese cat 🤍

#aespa #aespa x reader #karina x reader #jimin x reader #yu jimin x reader

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herrscherofinsanity · 26 days

Text

Married to Yu

A day in the life of the newly weds.

Fluff, pure fluff.

Yu Jimin (Karina) x fem!reader

Word count: 3.1k

Shout out to Red Velvet.

____________________

The soft rays of the morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the cozy bedroom shared by Jimin and y/n. As the world outside stirred to life, the two women lay nestled in each other's arms, reluctant to leave the comfort of their bed.

"Good morning, my beautiful wife," Jimin murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to y/n's forehead as she brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

y/n let out a contented sigh, her lips curling into a sleepy smile. "Good morning, my love," she replied, her voice thick with sleep as she snuggled closer to Jimin's warmth.

With a playful glint in her eyes, Jimin couldn't resist teasing her wife. "You know, I never get tired of hearing you call me that," she teased, her voice filled with affection as she peppered y/n's face with soft kisses.

y/n laughed, her heart fluttering with happiness at the sound of Jimin's playful banter. "And I never get tired of reminding you," she quipped, her fingers tracing lazy patterns across Jimin's chest.

With a fond smile, Jimin leaned in to capture y/n's lips in a sweet kiss, savoring the taste of her wife's love as they lingered in the warmth of their embrace.

But eventually, the call of the day grew too insistent to ignore, and with a reluctant sigh, Jimin reluctantly pulled away from y/n's embrace, her heart heavy with the thought of leaving her side.

"Come on, love," she said gently, her voice tinged with regret as she reluctantly climbed out of bed. "We have a day to conquer together, remember?"

____

The aroma of sizzling bacon and brewing coffee filled the air as Jimin bustled about the kitchen, a whirlwind of activity as she prepared breakfast for herself and y/n. With a chef's precision, she expertly flipped pancakes on the griddle, the golden-brown circles taking shape under her skilled hands.

As Jimin hummed a cheerful tune, her eyes sparkled with excitement, her love for cooking evident in every movement. She glanced over her shoulder at y/n, a playful grin on her lips as she watched her wife work her culinary magic.

"Looks like someone's in her element," y/n remarked, her voice laced with admiration as she sat on the counter, a glass of orange juice in her hand.

Jimin chuckled, her cheeks flushing with pride at y/n's praise. "Well, you know me, I’m good at everything" she replied, her smile widening as she leaned in to steal a quick kiss from y/n, Jimin really didn’t need the sarcastic remark that was surely coming out of her wife’s lips.

Rolling her eyes, y/n busied herself with setting the table, arranging plates and utensils with care as she prepared for their breakfast together. With each precise movement, she exuded an air of grace and elegance, her love for Jimin shining through in every gesture.

As they worked side by side in the cozy kitchen, the warmth of their love filled the air, infusing every moment with a sense of joy and contentment.

The couple sat down to enjoy their breakfast together, the table spread with pancakes, bacon, and freshly brewed coffee, y/n couldn't resist teasing her wife about her culinary skills—or lack thereof.

"So, Jimin," y/n began, a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she reached for a pancake, "remember when we first started dating and you attempted to cook for me?"

Jimin's cheeks flushed with embarrassment at the memory, a sheepish grin spreading across her face as she recalled her less-than-stellar cooking attempts. "Oh, don't remind me," she replied, her voice tinged with amusement. "I think I almost set the kitchen on fire that day."

y/n laughed, the sound like music to Jimin's ears as she watched the playful gleam in her wife's eyes. "You were trying so hard to impress me," y/n teased, her voice filled with affection as she reached across the table to squeeze Jimin's hand. "But let's just say it's a good thing we ordered takeout instead."

Jimin couldn't help but chuckle at y/n's teasing, her heart swelling with love for the woman sitting across from her. "Well, lucky for both of us, I've come a long way since then," she replied, a proud smile gracing her lips. "I like to think I've mastered the art of cooking now."

y/n nodded in agreement, her eyes sparkling with admiration as she raised her coffee cup in a toast. "To my talented wife," she said, her voice filled with pride. "Who knew you had such hidden culinary talents?"

And as they clinked their coffee cups together in a silent salute, Jimin felt a swell of gratitude in her heart—for the love and laughter they shared, and for the simple joys of married life that filled their days with warmth and happiness.

As the two girls sat at the table enjoying their breakfast, eventually the topic of their plans for the day was brought up. y/n turned to Jimin with a curious expression, her brow furrowed in thought.

"So, babe," y/n began, her voice soft with affection, "what do you have on your agenda for today?"

Jimin sighed, a hint of resignation in her voice as she replied, "Well, we’ve got a meeting with our managers this morning, then we have a meeting with our choreographer in the afternoon and dance rehearsals."

y/n nodded in understanding, her heart sinking slightly at the thought of being apart from Jimin for most of the day. "Sounds like a busy day," she commented, her voice tinged with disappointment.

Jimin reached across the table to squeeze her wife's hand, offering her a reassuring smile. "Yeah, it's going to be hectic," she admitted, "but it's all part of the job, you know?"

y/n returned Jimin's smile, her heart full at the sight of her wife's comforting presence. "I know" she replied, her voice filled with understanding.

"And what about you? Any plans for the day?" Jimin inquired.

y/n paused for a moment, staring down at her plate, trying to remember what plans her own manager had for her. "I have a couple of photoshoots scheduled for this afternoon, and then I have an interview with a magazine later in the evening," y/n explained, her tone tinged with resignation.

Jimin reached out to gently brush a stray strand of hair away from y/n's face, her touch tender and reassuring. "I wish we could spend the day together," she murmured, her voice filled with longing. "But I promise to make it up to you."

And as they finished their breakfast together, the promise of a busy day ahead hanging in the air, Jimin and y/n found solace in the simple comfort of each other's presence.

____

As the two girls wrapped up their breakfast, y/n made a move to get the dirty dishes. It was a little rule between them, one of them cooked while the other took care of cleaning up. Jimin stood there, silently observing her wife, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Of course Jimin had to find a proper way to show y/n just how much she appreciated her.

"You know, babe," Jimin began, a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she leaned in closer to y/n, "we could save time and water if we showered together."

y/n laughed at Jimin's suggestion, her eyes dancing with amusement at her wife's playful antics. "Nice try, honey," she replied, her voice laced with affection, "but I think I'll pass this time."

Jimin pouted playfully, her lower lip jutting out in a mock expression of disappointment. "Aw, come on," she teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, "don’t you want to help save the planet?"

y/n chuckled, her heart swelling with love for the woman hugging her waist. "You and I both know you won’t make it in time for your meeting if we shower together" she replied, her voice filled with gentle amusement. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, yes?”.

With a playful wink, Jimin happily agreed to y/n's terms, though not without a bit of good-natured grumbling. "Fine," she sighed dramatically, "I guess I can wait a few hours."

And as Jimin made her way to the bathroom to shower first, leaving y/n to take care of the dishes, they both thanked their lucky stars, beyond grateful to have made it this far with each other.

____

Jimin and y/n finished getting ready for their respective busy days ahead; they soon found themselves standing at the door, their hearts heavy with the knowledge that they would soon have to part ways.

Jimin turned to y/n with a gentle smile, her eyes soft with affection as she reached out to take her wife's hand in hers. "Well, babe," she began, her voice filled with warmth, "I guess it's time for us to go our separate ways for a little while."

y/n nodded in agreement, her gaze meeting Jimin's with a mixture of love and reluctance. "I know," she replied, her voice tinged with sadness, "text me whenever you get a chance."

With a tender smile, Jimin leaned in to press a lingering kiss to y/n's lips, the soft brush of their mouths a silent promise of their enduring love. "I love you," she whispered against y/n's lips, her voice filled with sincerity.

y/n returned Jimin's kiss with equal tenderness, her heart swelling with love for the woman standing before her. "I love you too," she murmured.

And as they parted ways, their fingers intertwined until the very last moment, Jimin knew she had to walk away with the last laugh.

“I can’t wait to have you screaming my name tonight.”

“What?”

“Do you think we’ll get another noise complaint?”

“Another what!?”

“Anyway, goodbye, my love! Have a nice day!”

____

“How much do you wanna bet she’s daydreaming about her wife?”

“Forget it, I’m not betting on something so obvious”.

Jimin sat int the middle of a conference room barely paying attention to whatever her manager was talking about, her heart heavy with thoughts of her beloved wife y/n. She found herself lost in a reverie; her mind filled with images of their time together.

Lost in thought, Jimin sank onto her chair, her fingers idly tracing the edge of her phone as she scrolled through old messages from y/n, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Unbeknownst to Jimin, her fellow aespa members—Aeri, Minjeong, and Yizhuo—had been watching her from afar, their keen eyes picking up on the lovesick expression that adorned their leader's face.

"Looks like someone's whipped," Aeri whispered, her voice filled with amusement as she nudged Minjeong and Yizhuo with her elbow.

Minjeong and Yizhuo exchanged knowing glances, their lips curling into mischievous grins as they joined in on the teasing. "Yeah, I’m pretty sure Jimin would literally die if something happened to her marriage," Minjeong quipped, her voice laced with playful mockery.

Jimin's cheeks flushed crimson with embarrassment as she overheard the teasing, her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to come up with a witty retort. "Hey, cut it out," she protested weakly, though there was no denying the proud gleam in her eyes.

As Aeri, Minjeong, and Yizhuo continued to tease their lovesick leader, Jimin couldn't help but feel a mixture of embarrassment and amusement at their antics. Despite her flushed cheeks and embarrassed demeanor, there was a fondness in her heart for her fellow members, knowing that they were all good friends with y/n as well.

"You know, Jimin," Aeri chimed in, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she leaned in closer to the leader, "if you miss y/n that much, why don't you just call her? I'm sure she'd love to hear from you."

“Why are you acting like a girl with a crush? It’s not like you guys are married or anything, right?” Yizhuo deadpanned.

Jimin's cheeks grew even redder at the suggestion, her heart fluttering at the thought of hearing y/n's voice on the other end of the line. "Maybe I will," she replied coyly, a playful glint in her eyes, doing her best to ignore Yizhuo’s remark.

Minjeong and Yizhuo exchanged knowing looks, their lips quirking up in matching smiles as they continued to tease their leader mercilessly. "For real Jimin, how long can you go without being in y/n’s presence?" Minjeong teased, her voice filled with mock sympathy.

Jimin rolled her eyes at the teasing, though there was a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Okay, okay, you win, stop it" she conceded, her voice tinged with laughter. "But just remember, you're all going to get married someday and I won’t let you live this down."

____

As the dance rehearsal progressed, the aespa girls threw themselves into their routines with energy and enthusiasm, their movements synchronized and precise as they perfected their choreography.

Amidst the flurry of activity, there came a sudden knock on the door, drawing the attention of the idols; before anyone could react, the door swung open to reveal a familiar figure standing in the doorway—none other than y/n, Jimin's beloved wife.

Jimin's eyes widened in delight at the sight of y/n, her heart skipping a beat as she rushed to her wife's side with all the exuberance of an overexcited puppy, her love for her wife shining brightly in her eyes. Without a moment's hesitation, Jimin enveloped y/n in a tight embrace, her arms wrapping around her wife's waist as she lifted her off the ground with a delighted laugh.

"y/n!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with joy, "My wife is here!"

As the couple finally came to a stop, their laughter filling the air, Jimin couldn't help but feel a rush of happiness at having her beloved wife by her side. With a radiant smile, her eyes shining with love and adoration, Jimin couldn’t help but feel absolute peace.

"So, what brings you here, my love?" Jimin asked, her voice filled with curiosity and excitement.

y/n's eyes sparkled with mischief as she shrugged playfully. "Well, my schedule ended earlier than expected, and I couldn't resist the urge to surprise you and say hi to the girls," she explained, a warm smile gracing her lips.

Jimin's heart swelled with delight at y/n's spontaneous gesture, her excitement bubbling over as she pulled her wife into another tight hug. "You're amazing, you know that?" she exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine affection.

The other aespa members greeted y/n with smiles and waves, their faces lighting up at the unexpected surprise. "Hey, y/n!" Yizhuo called out, her voice filled with warmth, "Long time no see!"

As Jimin practically beamed with pride at having y/n by her side, Aeri couldn't resist a playful jab at her friend's expense. “Jimin, stop hogging the girl, we also want to spend time with her" she teased, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Jimin shot back with a playful retort, her voice laced with mock indignation. "Hey, she's my wife," she declared proudly, her gaze never leaving y/n's face.

Minjeong and Yizhuo exchanged amused glances at the playful banter unfolding before them, their lips quirking up in matching smiles. "Oh boy, she’s even worse than I expected" Minjeong quipped, unable to resist the opportunity for a bit of teasing.

Not wanting to entertain the teasing, Jimin decided to ignore her members, her heart soared at the prospect of spending more time with y/n, her excitement palpable as she looked into her wife's eyes with adoration. "We still have about an hour of rehearsal left," she explained, a smile gracing her lips, "but after that, we can grab something to eat together."

y/n's smile widened at Jimin's words, her eyes sparkling with warmth. "Sounds perfect to me," she replied, her voice filled with affection.

“Are we invited?” Minjeong asked, the mischievous glint in her didn’t go unnoticed by the young leader.

“Of course!”

“No.”

“Jimin, don’t be rude, of course they can come with us.” Jimin cursed internally, it’s not that she didn’t want to spend time with her members, she loved the girls; but Jimin really wanted to be alone with her wife. With a sigh of defeat, she agreed to a group hangout.

Yizhuo glanced over at y/n with a curious expression. "Anyway, won't you get bored waiting for us?" she asked, her brow furrowing in concern.

y/n shook her head, a playful twinkle in her eye. "Nah, I'll be fine," she reassured them, "I was actually planning to kill some time by visiting Yeri."

At the mention of another woman, Jimin couldn't help but grumble under her breath, a hint of possessiveness creeping into her tone. "Yeri, huh?" she muttered, her lips pursed in a slight pout.

Minjeong couldn't suppress a laugh at her leader's dramatic reaction, her amusement evident in the sparkle of her eyes. "Oh, you’re the jealous type?" she teased, her voice filled with playful affection, "somehow that makes perfect sense."

Rolling her eyes and with a reluctant sigh escaping her lips, Jimin begrudgingly released y/n from her embrace, their fingers intertwined as they shared one final, lingering gaze filled with love and longing.

"I love you," Jimin whispered softly, her voice filled with genuine affection.

y/n's heart swelled with warmth at Jimin's words, her love for her wife shining brightly in her eyes. "I love you too," she replied, her voice tinged with adoration.

As they reluctantly parted ways, a sense of anticipation bubbled within Jimin's chest, her excitement mounting as she eagerly anticipated the moment when they would be reunited once more. With a final, loving kiss, she bid y/n farewell, her heart filled with the promise of their enduring love.

While Jimin stood there, staring at the door with a lovesick expression, a playful smirk tugged at Aeri's lips as she exchanged knowing glances with Minjeong and Yizhuo. "Jimin would definitely die if she had to spend more than twelve hours away from y/n," she remarked teasingly.

The other girls chuckled in agreement, nodding their heads in unison as they affectionately teased their lovesick leader. "Oh, for sure" Minjeong chimed in with a grin, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Twelve hours? I give her three” Yizhuo chimed in; Aeri and Minjeong laughed along.

Rolling her eyes at their playful banter, Jimin attempted to defend herself with a playful huff. "Hey, I can't help it if I'm crazy about my wife," she retorted with a playful pout, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

And as laughter filled the room once more, Jimin couldn’t help but hope that the next hour would go by as quickly as possible, her only goal to be reunited with her wife once more.

____________________

A/N: So, I've had this request for quite some time now and I just got around to doing it, I really hope it was worth the wait. I'm planning to write a Chaewon request I have. I also want to bring back spider!Jimin; and since I spent most of my time at the hospital I do have a few ideas set in the hospital.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and if you have a request feel free to send it.

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yujification · 3 months

Text

river of january - yu jimin

desc: it had been so long since anyone had touched you, let alone tended to your self-inflicted wounds with so much care– karina’s tutelage was something you’d never understand, her borderline obsessive need to always watch over you and take care of you like you were some fragile being that needed to be protected. it was endearing, but a little degrading at the same time. “it’s just what friends do,” is what she says, but it almost makes you wonder if friends also suck each other dry in the back of a nissan altima, clothes spilling on the floor mat. it was a conversation for another day, you figured. cw: fem!reader, fwb, g!p, praise, hurt/comfort, smut, cunnilingus, p in v sex (a LOT) unprotected sex (rina nuts inside every single time sorry), cum eating, switch!karina, mild angst idk ??, car sex (mentioned), mirror sex (frequent), mutual pining, denial of feelings, SERIES! this is part 1/2

wc: 4.1k

in the epilogue of january, the trees are still bare as is your skin from scratching it raw. the weather made the crevices of your body dry, flaky and painful with a need for renewal or some sort of rejuvenation, that of which you never really got, or knew how to get. it was a problem that inevitably needed solving, but never truly saw that resolution until one blonde haired karina yu sat you down on her bathroom floor next to the bathtub laced with mold to put ointment on the irritated areas of your hands and arms. it had been so long since anyone had touched you, let alone tended to your self-inflicted wounds with so much care– karina’s tutelage was something you’d never understand, her borderline obsessive need to always watch over you and take care of you like you were some fragile being that needed to be protected. it was endearing, but a little degrading at the same time. “it’s just what friends do,” is what she says, but it almost makes you wonder if friends also suck each other dry in the back of a nissan altima, clothes spilling on the floor mat. it was a conversation for another day, you figured. karina holds your hand and opens your hand like a flower, pressing the hydrocortisone treatment into your palm with her brows furrowed. it was a natural look– a frightening one, and one to be feared. if karina was a leopard, you were a mouse. not her prey, necessarily, but you could be. you could never fear karina, not now, not ever. not even if you wanted to. “apply this once a day, yeah? right after you shower,” karina points out all of the dry spots of your skin. “here, and here, and here.” you’ve learned that it’s best to just listen to karina in these situations. she knows best, after all. your fingers envelope the tube, and you tuck it into your coat pocket carefully. “yeah, yeah,” you nod, your voice small. you avoid eye contact with everyone, not only karina, so you always ask her not to take it personally. and she never does. she assumes you don’t notice her staring at your jaw as you look away, but your peripheral is strong. you don’t say anything about it. you don’t need to. some things are better left unsaid. the following evening, you don’t speak much. karina confines herself in her room for much of the day, though you briefly see her shadow from under your door, as if she’s about to knock and come in, but she never does. she stands, contemplates, then you hear little footsteps retreating back to where she came from. despite this, every day ends the same. you shower after dinner, and go to karina’s room to bid her goodnight, as you’ve done every day since you first became roommates in your first year of university. you knock, your knuckles gentle against the door so you don’t wake her if she’s already sleeping, or startle her if she isn’t. “come in,” is what she utters, and you turn the knob of the door and push it open, the creaks of the hinges echoing softly. karina’s room was so empty. it was white and desolate, though dark most of the time. you hesitate to speak, at first. “i’m… i’m gonna head to bed,” you whisper. there isn’t much of a need for such a quiet tone, but it feels necessary. it’s so late, and you can barely see her, but the light from outside of the room reveals enough of your stature to her, and she silently gawks at your damp hair. karina lets out a soft hum of approval, turning over in bed. every day ends the same, but it isn’t this. “can i—” and before you can finish your sentence, karina lets out the tiniest ‘mhm’. she doesn’t even know what you were asking for, but maybe she doesn’t have to know. the thought of you doing anything was more than enough.

you crawl into karina’s bed, and she’s emotional, crumbling like a dead flower into your hands and body, arms wrapped around your waist and kisses peppered against the nape of your neck. this is what friends do. you’re taking care of each other. she took care of you, now it’s your turn. you swallow, hands already tugging at the waistband of her boxers, your parted lips meeting in an urgent kiss. you had only just started and you already felt the tent in rina’s briefs pressing against your thigh. “that was quick,” you remarked, watching her face flush with embarrassment. her clothes were so cute you almost didn’t want to take them off. her boxers were plaid; periwinkle and white, and she wore a matching cropped shirt that hugged her figure nicely, though if you said that, she’d probably end up feeling bad about it. karina didn’t like compliments (or, at least, didn’t receive them well) you learned quickly after meeting her, when you complimented her cat-like eyes and she turned into a broken record trying to spit out something as simple as a ‘thank you’. karina closes her eyes, trying to collect herself, to no avail. “i’m sorry,” she mumbles. “you don’t have to,” she continues as her eyes open slowly, glossed over. “i want to,” you stroke her platinum hair, the tresses falling between your fingers softly. she had dyed her hair this color before, but it was just a little lighter this time, and her roots were already growing in. she had almost a disheveled charm to her, and the messiness of it at this hour was doing her a favor. “do you… not want it?” “i don’t know what you’re trying to give me,” karina’s tongue flicks out and coats her lips in saliva. “it feels wrong regardless.” wrong. you pull back a little. “how so?” she doesn’t reply. “it’s fine. we don’t have to,” you begin to move further away, and karina sits up, shaking her head quickly. “no, no, i want to,” karina speaks hurriedly. “i want to. i want to, i promise.” you lean in again, lips hovering over karina’s, breath hot against her mouth. you look at her in her eyes for the first time in a long time, and it feels real. her pupils dilate, chestnut irises deep as they stare back– you can almost see your reflection in them. and naturally, the night ended with your jaw sore and karina’s hands wrapped around your waist as you slept, and inevitably, you missed your alarm. your phone was in your own room anyway, not like you wanted to go back there that bad in any case. - “do you think we can stay like this forever?” is what karina asked on march 8th. the seasons are shifting and so is she— so are you. your exchanges are more frequent, more deep. it’s just sex, allegedly, but you haven’t told anyone, and it all feels so real. rina installs a mirror in your bedroom on the 9th, full body and tall, initially so you can have a better view of your outfits; the mirror had been on the floor before, and you could only see your midriff and everything below.

the reflection ended up being used for more intensive purposes.

karina sat on the foot of your bed while you sat on her cock, raw, and facing her. she stared into your mirror, watching the way your back flexed as your arms moved around her neck. her mouth fixated on your shoulder, sucking bruises into the skin. her fingers snaked around your waist and gripped it, one hand on your hip and the other on your thigh. karina shudders when she finally comes, shakily caressing your cheek with her thumb and kissing you softly. neither of you were very talkative during the act, or afterwards for that matter. something shifted. “i want to try something,” karina picks you up, her dick still buried deep in your cunt, and flips you over, pinning your back to the mattress. you feel it shift inside of you, twitching ever so slightly, and it makes you gasp. “sorry. did i move too quick?” you meet her question with a head shake. “no, never. it’s okay.” rina finally looks down between her legs, carefully pulling out and moving her head so she can watch her fluids ooze out of your swollen pussy. “can i?” she whispers, and you cock your head like a confused puppy. karina had only gone down on you once, and that was a year ago. you weren’t sure if she just thought you hated it (you didn’t) or she just didn’t like doing it. karina was obviously good at receiving head, but giving had seemed to just not be her forte. that couldn’t possibly be what she was asking for. “can you…?” you trail off, an eyebrow quirked. “taste.” straightforward enough. you’re shocked, but you nod. karina holds your thighs, spreading them open. “so pretty,” she whispers, grinning at the sight of your puffy cunt, overstimulated from her cock. she presses the base of her tongue to your clit, eyes following yours until they’re out of sight as you feverishly throw your head back in a sharp moan. she suckles, gently rubbing the goosebumps on your tender skin. she sighs into your heat, doubling your reactions before she pulls back. “you taste good, too,” the mixture of flavors— her own semen mixed with your hot slick made her salivate, and almost instantly made her hard again. karina spits onto her hand, coating her cock with saliva as she strokes, her tongue pistoning in and out of you until you finally come on her face. her climax follows shortly afterwards, but onto her own stomach, embarrassingly. thankfully, it wasn’t much, seeing as she had already came once before. “aw,” karina teasingly pouts. “baby made such a mess,” she says, wiping your slick from her chin with the back of her hand. you swat her on the top of her head. she quietly shrieks. “oh, shut up, asshole, you just came all over yourself,” and she does shut up, but she shuts you up too. if she goes down, you’re going with her. she kisses you, and so many flavors enter your mouth. all not half bad. the combination is a little odd, though. it tastes of sex. “go shower,” you urge her, and without a second thought, she complies, standing and walking to the bathroom. as soon as she leaves you become very aware of your now sore and aching legs. she always debilitates you. every time, without fail. -

mid-april was when you started to feel it. a fuzzy feeling in your stomach, not as easy to dismiss as you would have liked. a latent aching in her chest every time karina was near, every time she scrunched her nose at a bad smell or asked you to open a plastic water bottle for her. this is what you were afraid of.

the question comes up late at night, while you trace karina’s face with the pads of your fingers in bed, mapping her features carefully. it slips out before you can even think of stopping it.

“are you sleeping with anyone else?”

a small smile tugs at karina’s lips. her eyes were closed, but now, they flutter open. fuck, she’s cute. maybe a little too cute for comfort.

“no, not really,”

you scoff. “not really? it was a yes or no question.”

karina isn’t taking this seriously. she sits up, leaving your fingers dangling on the pillow she once rested on. “i said no,” karina pinches your arm playfully.

“you said not really,”

“i also said no, didn’t i?”

she gives you a smug grin, the kind of grin that makes you want to want to wipe it clean off her face, either with your lips or your hands. the kind of grin that makes you want to suffocate her, whether it be via sitting on her face or shoving her face in a pillow. what a bastard.

“do i need to spell it out for you?” you grumble, swatting her hands away. they were smaller in comparison to most people you had slept with, but you had gotten used to it. her fingers were a comfortable size inside of you— not too big but not too little. you had adapted. she nods, her gaze flicking from your eyes to your lips, up and down, down and up. “has anyone touched your dick but me since we started… this? whatever this is?”

karina swirls circles on the skin of your thigh, sucking her teeth. “no,” she whispers, barely audible.

“a little louder?”

karina gives you a playful shove, her face and ears reddening. “shut up,” she whines, climbing on top of you, not meaning to make this situation any more complicated than it already had to be, but her clothed length pushed up against your thigh softly, still soft, but not for long after making contact.

“fuck,” she grumbles, pulling away. “i’m sorry.”

“what for? i can fix it for you, if that’s what you want. or what you need,”

karina breathes into the crook of your neck. “not what i need. you’re what i need, just you,” karina’s breath is hot, tickling the lobe of your ear and shoulder. “is that okay?”

of course it’s okay. it’s more than okay— she’s more than okay. one hand situates on her waist while the other teases the waistband of her shorts, fishing out her cock, leaking with pre-come.

“hurts,” she groans.

“i know baby, it’s fine,” you coo, stroking torturously slow, enough to make drool drip from her bottom lip. “can you fuck me? fuck me like you mean it, please,” you whisper in between chaste kisses while her fingertips slide your panties to the side and rubbing her slicked tip along your entrance. “say you will, unnie,”

“i will,” the older whispers, sliding into you slowly but surely, as if it was the first time. letting you adjust to the size. you’re tighter than ever and you feel the throbbing and twitching inside and it’s overwhelming. you sigh contently, pitching forward and forcing her to move deeper. everything is wet and filthy as you clench around her.

by the time karina comes, her eyes are unfocused, heaving as she pulls out.

after class, you use your remaining braincells on overanalyzing your recent interactions with karina while she drives you home.

she drove you to class.

she drove you from class.

she’s pulling over at a café for tea.

she cares, that’s for sure, but you can’t tell if it’s flirty or friendly. this isn’t a date. she isn’t buying you tea to be flirtatious, this isn’t her attempt at being coy. she’s doing it because you’re friends. she doesn’t kiss you constantly because she likes it, she does it because you’re friends. it’s a good friendship, it was before you first sucked her off in that godforsaken car, and it is now. you’re good buddies. good buddies, who fuck. a lot.

but it’s a little soft. you have to really try hard to bite back that childish smile when she spits out your order to the barista without missing a beat, as if she’s memorized it since the day you first told her. it feels like touching a freshly washed and conditioned pillowcase, now devoid of stains and impurities. it feels like sleeping after a long day of work. it feels like the euphoria of holding karina close while she’s still inside, the warmth of it all almost enough to sweat over. that’s what it’s like. they’re good buddies, but it should be more. it feels like more.

when you recieve your drinks, karina opts to sit outside. the wind tosses her hair around, and she briefly tucks it behind her ears and holds it in place to get a good, long look at you.

you eye your eczema marks. she notices just as quick as you do.

“have you been putting that ointment on like i asked?”

good to know she still cares.

“sometimes,” you take a sip of your tea. the barista brewed it a little sweeter than you would have liked, and the ginger flavor is a bit too overpowered. you swallow it down anyway. “when i remember,”

karina tuts. “you need to remember all the time.”

you trace your tongue around the hole. “it’s not so bad anymore, since it’s getting warmer, yeah?”

karina looks away. “what are you doing?”

“nothing.”

“i’m not gonna fuck you. we’re in public.”

you snort. “when has that ever stopped you?”

karina stops dead in her tracks. it was true. of course, she preferred to do these things in the comfort of your own home, but it wasn’t like you hadn’t ever done it in public. only ever cars and bathrooms, but that was only when she really needed it. a painful amount of need.

“you can’t just wait?”

you begin to shake your head no, but, on second thought, sure, maybe you could. maybe it’ll feel better the longer you go without it. without her.

“you owe me,” is what you reply with, taking another slow sip. the tea is hot, so you’re careful not to fill your mouth with too much.

karina rakes a hand through her dark hair, pushing it away from her eyes consequentially. “if you weren’t so good to me, i would’ve called you a slut by now,”

you laugh. she was always so nice, you could never even fathom that kind of vulgarity leaving her lips, let alone towards you.

“why haven’t you? how do you know i’m not into that?” you tease, a little more fervor in your voice than what would typically be deemed appropriate.

karina uses her cup as a handwarmer, holding it and slowly spinning it repeatedly on the table as she speaks. “you don’t peg me as the type of person to like that,”

“i don’t peg you at all, so,” you jest, tilting your head.

“pervert,” she whispers under her breath.

a little overzealous, you kick her leg under the table.

“don’t worry, i like when you’re nice to me. i just wonder how you tolerate me,” you soften the blow by rubbing her knuckles from across the oak. this is what couples do. and she isn’t even stopping you.

“i wonder too,” she pretends to think. “you’re pretty, maybe. that probably helps.”

“god, rina,” you roll your eyes. cheesy. “no need to stroke my ego,”

she leans back in her chair, legs parted almost invitingly. she isn’t asking for anything verbally, but she might as well be. you take it that way regardless.

“mhm,” karina interlocks your fingers and crosses a digit over your index, pushing down and popping the joint. you feel like the pressure in your hands has been released. a moan escapes your lips, not intentionally, but karina has that same bastard look on her face like she planned this. “yeah. i’m gonna fuck you so good when we get back,”

and that promise was enough to hold you back, just for a little.

it’s like a premarital honeymoon. no— a pre-relationship honeymoon. every night ends with sex, and it isn’t even just every night now. sometimes twice a day, whenever it seems right.

the days you two don’t end up tangled in the sheets, flushed and nude, chests heaving, are the days that leave you feeling empty, figuratively and literally. you feel like you could do this forever. maybe it’s a possibility.

you bring it up in may, when the heat in the atmosphere is rising but the heat between you and karina rises faster. you hate these conversations. you hate that you can’t stop talking about it. curiosity killed the cat, and you are one hungry kitty, that’s for sure. possibly high on catnip.

when you ask karina her thoughts on marriage (not with you, of course), she doesn’t answer. she pretends to be asleep, but her eyes are clenched shut too tight, it’s evident that she’s still awake. you don’t push it.

the following morning, you wake up with karina’s lips pressing sleepy open-mouthed kisses to your jaw, her wet tongue making fleeting contact with your skin every time.

you grunt with every peck, until the pecks become more than that and travel to your mouth. you’ve never kissed her in the morning before, but it feels good. her tongue pushes back on yours and it feels like she’s devouring you. you would let her. she could swallow you whole and you wouldn’t even mind.

she trails a series of kisses down your abdomen, stopping just below your navel and moving back up, meeting your lips with her own. it throbs between your legs.

“god, you’re so fucking beautiful,” she mumbles, her eyes still hooded and voice raspy and tired.

as your body wakes up, as do the butterflies in your stomach, fluttering.

“quit that,” you say, subconsciously. it isn’t what you want. you don’t want her to quit that. that’s the last thing you want.

you hear the hummingbirds outside, and it snapped your brain back to reality. you have class, and as much as you would like to lay here with karina forever, that’s not what your gpa wants. your friends have already started to wonder where you spend all your time nowadays. your professors don’t need to ask the same. unfortunately, karina pulls away and topples back over beside you. she’s very obedient. she doesn’t snarl or get upset when you tell her no. she doesn’t even seem embarrassed. you feel the urge to pet her and say ‘good dog’ for being so good at following directions, but you don’t. instead, it just ends with a thank you and a kiss on the antihelix of her ear.

she pouts. you thought this would be over so quick?

“can’t you just let me?” she whines, grumbling under her breath like a spoiled child. this is what she wants. it’s what she wants, you asshole, and you aren’t even giving it to her. “you make me feel good. why won’t you ever let me reciprocate?”

standing over her in bed, you feel a little bad. “making you feel good makes me feel good, rina. it’s fine,”

evidently, that isn’t a good enough answer for her. “making you feel good makes me feel good, and if that makes you feel good, then we all feel good, yeah?”

the hodgepodge of words sends you spiraling.

“you’re reading too deep into this.”

“you aren’t reading deep enough,” she rebuts, hand on your wrist. “just once. i like you. let me show you.”

karina had never been the kind of person you assumed just wanted to get her dick wet. this wasn’t just fucking to her, and it wasn’t for you either. you liked each other, but not in that way, of course not in that way.

of course not.

you had said it to yourself a million times to drill it into your skull. you’re just friends. you’re just friends. you’re just friends.

you cave.

“fine,” and you situate yourself back on the bed, on the foot, this time. karina understands. she moves to the floor, on her knees, carpet burning the skin on her caps. right in front of the mirror, how convenient. her fingers curl around your panties, tugging them to your knees, before she looks up at you with lusty eyes filled with want.

“you’re going to watch yourself?” karina asks. your lack of an answer tells karina everything she needs to know. “dirty girl.”

soaked, she kitten licks your folds, swollen with desire and glistening. your own wetness coats the very inner parts of your thighs. “christ,” she croaks, voice muffled from between your legs, “so fucking wet for me,” and she watches you intently as she sucks on your clit, swelling on her tongue. you had actually intended on looking in the mirror until karina started staring. it made you feel a little comfortable, really. she could be doing anything else, but she was here, bruising her knees for your pleasure, and making sure to eye your pretty face the whole time.

it makes you want to love her. to hold her hand and kiss her and actually be able to say, ‘this is my girlfriend’. it was a silly dream, but the thought of it mixed with karina’s tongue fucking your hole? yeah. it was more than enough to make a mess all over her chin. it was shameful how quick it ended.

it was getting sickening. maybe it was the heat of the moment, maybe it was something entirely different. maybe it was just nature. an incessant voice at the back of your head just fucking begging you to say it. you part your lips.

“i think i love you.”

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