#~ queue and I remember budapest very differently ~

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Off the Hook

Summary: The pandemic comes through to save you from an unwanted fake dating relationship ... yeah. Unwanted. Right? Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader Word Count: 600 Warning: Cliche type fluff. COVID-19-related discussion -- nothing serious, no political stances, etc. It’s essentially just a plot device here.  Square Filled: Fake Dating for @marvelfluffbingo A/N: Shoutout to @captain-s-rogers​ for inspiring me with your Chris Evans fangirling! ;) 

One date. You were only supposed to have one date with Chris Evans, so that he could have some arm candy for a red carpet experience. Though you weren’t entirely sure of the chemistry between the two of you, the media was — and both publicity teams jumped on the opportunity. One date turned into one year. You agreed, reluctantly, and thus began your fake dating relationship. 

Six months into the agreement, the entire United States was in an state of ordered lockdown, thanks to the coronavirus pandemic. You were hanging out with Chris at his house — under the close eye of the paparazzi, of course — when the call from your PR agent came. 

“You’re off the hook, I guess,” she informed you. “With social distancing and lockdown and everything, you two can’t be going back and forth. His team acknowledges that, too, so we’re calling the deal fulfilled.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks.”

You ended the call and frowned; what was this weird feeling you had? Not that you minded Chris, but the entire dating situation had been coerced, a farce. Social distancing had come to your rescue here. You could get on with your life, eventually meet someone for real. 

“But I don't want to distance from him.”

You said it, out loud. The words caught you by surprise but were quickly followed by a smile. Sometime in the last few months, you had actually developed feelings for Chris; he made you laugh, was respectful of your boundaries within the whole agreement, he did nice things when he didn’t have to do them. Sometimes it was entirely in private, too, when no one was watching. Maybe there was a chance … 

He was still in the living room, lounging on the couch. He looked up when you returned, tossing the remote on the coffee table. 

“I got the call, too,” Chris said, stretching his arms above his head before twisting one way and then the other to crack his back. “Guess we’re off the hook.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what my girl said. I guess …”

Chris licked his lips. “Food’s already on the way. We can eat before you go, if you want.”

You nodded. “Mmhmm, yeah. I was thinking, actually, maybe we — I mean, yeah, we can eat first, but maybe I’ll just — I mean, if you’re interested and this isn’t too forward or assuming, maybe we could, you know, tough out this lockdown together.”

The last of the sentence came out of your mouth in a rushed rambling of words. You prayed to God that Chris had understood what you said because you weren’t sure you had the courage to repeat yourself. As it were, he smirked and stood up from the couch, coming towards you with a look that made you want to rip your clothes off then and there. 

“Is this part of the act?” Chris asked as his hands gripped your hips. 

You shook your head. “It’s not. At all.”

He smiled and tugged you closer to him — however that was possible. “We could be stuck together for a while, you know. They say a few weeks, but this could go on for months.”

Your hands rested on his forearms before sliding up to his shoulders. You gave a little shrug. “I’m game, if you are.”

“I’m game,” Chris whispered against your lips.

 In the next second, Chris was pressing his mouth to yours in a first kiss so sweet, you knew that, even if the pandemic did go on for months, it wouldn’t be enough time to steal all the kisses you wanted from this amazing man. 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​

[itskatebishops]

8x19 Tell All

"i, for one, would not mind having Gibbs there when i am married"

ziva stuttering over wedding talk sweetie i have never seen her so nervous SKSKSK

tony is INSTANTLY curious

ziva talking about tony's libido instantly makes him nervous LMAO noted.

SHUT UP about the agents locker room i don't wanna hear it

"think you should marry that girl, palmer" AW gibbs ships it

ziva is so SMART love u xo

Blood messages give me the chills

oof people are outright lying to gibbs not gna end well

"frangible" doesn't sound like an actual word my guys

YOU GUYS ziva and mcgee

Tony in the women's shower as usual

ZIVA SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

i like how bathrooms are their thing and i hate how barrett encroached on that

her hair is SO pretty shut up i miss the curls and darker shade but she does look absolutely gorgeous

forreal tho every time they so much as look at each other i die a little inside

fornell! missed him

oh that dead girl is prettttyyy

^ not a sentence i ever wanted to type out

tony absolutely has a death wish re: this wedding gibbs got invited to

fornell x gibbs is such a gr9 friendship

oh this entire couple is v attractive

"we were in love" "you probably had the flu" SKSKJSSJJS

the locker went kaboom, ziva slammed RIGHT into the wall, tony went down, and mcgee just crouched they're such disasters i love them

ziva like SLAMMED into that wall sweetpea

TONY AND ZIVA BICKERING THANK YOU SO MUCH

god okay as soon as the camera focused on gibbs, Michael wiggled his eyebrows at Cote, who was staring at him eye-

"perusing" wow okay fornell with the fancy vocab

GOD this girl is so ANNOYING i would lose my absolute shit

I KNEW THE NECKLACE WAS SIGNIFICANT

god i would have solved this crime like 30 minutes ago

I KNEW IT NUMBER 2 NCI FUCKING S HIRE ME

"im in distress...or maybe im just hungry" god me too

WHY WOULD COTE SCRUNCH HER NOSE LIKE THAT AT HIM PLEASE

im confused ?

another medium ep ig

[nomanwalksalone]

ALTERNATIVE STYLE ICON: RICHARD CHAMBERLAIN IN WALLENBERG: A HERO’S STORY

by Réginald-Jérôme de Mans

The writer George Santayana famously wrote that those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Ironically many who repeat his quote forget who first uttered it.

I had long meant to write about Richard Chamberlain in this role. I once referred to him as “the fey king of the miniseries” and I don’t regret it: foppish, almost milquetoast in fare as varied as a two-part TV version of The Bourne Identity (with Jaclyn Smith, natch), Shogun, and as a leading candidate for an honorary Seinfeld puffy shirt: Not only did he play the Count of Monte Cristo in a 1975 TV movie, but a bunch of what Elaine Benes would have called chandelier-swinging characters in other Dumas adaptations, including Aramis in Richard Lester’s The Three Musketeers and Louis XIV and his twin in The Man in the Iron Mask. Postmodern swashbuckler author Arturo Perez-Reverte even described a character in one of his own novels as looking “like Richard Chamberlain in The Thorn Birds, only more manly.” That same Thorn Birds role, Father Ralph de Bricassart, also inspired a certain Rhunette Ferguson to give her son, a future New York Jets player, perhaps my favorite name ever: D’Brickashaw.

Dubbing Chamberlain an Alternative Style Icon for his role as Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg is low-hanging fruit. For years this TV special dwelt at the bottom of my Netflix queue for that express purpose. Former Savile Row tailors Manning & Manning won an Emmy award for the outfits they made for him; decades later Bryan Manning had some very interesting things to say to the inimitable Simon Crompton of Permanent Style about the 1930s and 1940s cutting styles he had to adopt for Chamberlain’s outfits for the movie. Chamberlain’s costumes are appropriately dashing, from the full diplomatic gala white tie ensemble worn while conspiring with the Papal Nuncio of Budapest to a tan double-breasted suit with horizontal peaked lapels that is, quite simply, magnificent. Zagreb, one of the most beautiful cities in eastern Europe, admirably filled in for 1940s Budapest and Stockholm in the making of this production. I’m fairly certain that I’ve stayed at the Zagreb hotel on whose esplanade Chamberlain wore that suit, in an early expository scene where the American and Swedish governments encourage Wallenberg to take a position with the Swedish legation in Budapest.  I’ve been told Zagreb’s one of two cities in Europe where the street lamps in certain neighborhoods are still gaslit. Gaslighting happens to have been one of the reasons that I finally wrote about this icon.

Of course there’s plenty to mock in the conventions of this telefilm, even beyond Chamberlain’s indisputable 1970s and 1980s stock hero status: its heavy-handed setup and plotting, making Wallenberg out to be a one-man anti-Nazi force from his time at home in Sweden (wearing a U. Michigan sweatshirt to indicate that he had studied in the US - did college sweatshirts even exist back then?). Miniseries meant melodrama and its archetypal characters: an adorable child whom Wallenberg saves from the death camps only to die of illness; a shoehorned-in love interest in the form of a kindhearted baroness who lobbies her suspicious husband to relax the Hungarian government's strictures on Jews; a fiery Hungarian resistance fighter who provides the unofficial, combative counterpoint to Wallenberg’s diplomatic, humanitarian efforts through official channels. And, of course, Wallenberg’s kidnapping by the Soviets at the fall of Budapest meant his story was perfectly framed for 1985, when we still couldn’t trust those Russians. (In fact, to this day no one knows what they did with him.)

A few appropriately haunting and powerful moments do ring true, including Wallenberg’s cordial verbal fencing matches over contraband Scotch and cigarettes with Adolf Eichmann. Whether those meetings really took place in that form or not, their film versions appropriately capture the realities of how we are forced to engage with evil. Rarely are we simply battling an easily identifiable other, weapon to weapon. Instead, we encounter evil in the everyday – in fact, it seeks us out, finds shared ground, converses with us over pleasantries and hospitality even as we recognize its intentions. It identifies with us, we identify with it. Even as you know it is evil.

Eichmann had made it his avowed duty to kill the Jews of Europe. Wallenberg’s mission, as an emissary of an officially neutral power, was to help save as many as he could. And he did, through famously fearless, reckless endeavors including the distribution of thousands of official-looking Swedish passes to the Jews of Budapest, the creation of vast cultural centers and warehouses in the Swedish mission buildings in which these new countrymen could work under the aegis of their adoptive country, and savvy diplomatic maneuvering with the Hungarian and German authorities and military. He went as far as to climb on top of a train bound for Auschwitz and distribute passes to as many deportees as he could while soldiers fired shots at him. Looking back, historians suggest they were firing over his head to warn him as they could easily have dropped him at that range, but it’s not likely Wallenberg knew that at the time.

At that time diplomats of neutral powers could make fortunes more safely as armchair heroes: playboy Porfirio Rubirosa reportedly did so in Paris selling visas to the Dominican Republic to French Jews during World War II. In that respect, perhaps, both he and Wallenberg were heroes… of different sorts.

Wallenberg did not do it for money. The Wallenbergs were Swedish aristocracy (with, the film takes pains to remind us, an ounce of Jewish blood) with considerable means – hence the finely tailored wardrobe for Chamberlain. Thus, an easy cynical response to this essay could be that a rich aristocrat with diplomatic immunity risked nothing swanning around the salons of Budapest, just like the fictional gentleman spies we read about and watch on screen.

That response is wrong. Heroism is not just born of opportunity. It is recognizing when a choice confronts you and taking the difficult, unpopular and dangerous one in order to do what is right. Fictional heroes like Bond or Steed rarely suffer meaningful personal loss and rarely confront the reality of evil. Evil is your friend with many positive qualities, maybe more intelligent or cultured or better dressed than you, the one you looked up to, who gradually reveals the awful things he or she believes and has done. Evil is those complicit in carrying out those things by their inaction, their credulity, or their cooperation, not at the point of a gun but of a paycheck. Evil is legal, logically explained, repeated and reported until its baseless reasoning becomes fact and the foundation for more lies, more evil. Evil can so easily become the system.

Hindsight is a handicap, for it doesn’t usually permit us to see that there were no times without ambiguity in battles between good and evil and no certainty that good triumphs. We have the privilege of retrospect to acknowledge the dashing diplomat in Savile Row suits was a hero for saving innocents from deportation and death as part of the most ghastly genocide in history. We learned what genocide is, and had to invent the word to describe it. Because at that time the people singled out for persecution and death were unpopular, historically, socially and legally marginalized, supposedly easily identifiable and classifiable. A group that societies had made it easy - through regulation, ghettoization, oppression and antagonism – to hate, and whole false narratives drawn up to explain why that group hated and wanted to destroy us even more than we them.

One of A Hero’s Story’s most timely and inspiring lines is Wallenberg’s reply to the Hungarian ruler’s query why the King of Sweden cared so much about the Jews of another country, when he was a Christian. Wallenberg reminded the prime minister that the King’s “concerns transcend religion or national borders.” That concern is humanity, our lowest common denominator, our shared recognition of our capacity for suffering. That concern drove a man to acts of incredible selflessness, a generous mercy that seems to have cost him his liberty and his life. There is no romance to Raoul Wallenberg’s fate. It is worth remembering that he probably saw little romance in the actions he took in Budapest.

Now is no less an unromantic time, no less a time when others – so many different others –are easily denigrated, feared, distrusted, brutalized. Otherization, both of many within our borders and pressing against them, has returned, as has fascism, with apologists blandly elegant or brutally populist, like some inauspicious comet in our skies. Now, again, is a time for heroes – men and women who recognize how difficult and dangerous it is to do what is right. That struggle is far from those of Chamberlain’s habitual roles swashbuckling against a monolithic, universally despicable, evil. Evil is among us, habituating us, desensitizing us, gaslighting us. Far from frills and fanfare, celebration, or certainty of triumph, can we place ourselves in Wallenberg’s Budapester shoes and do what is right?

Quality content, like quality clothing, ages well. This post first appeared on the No Man blog in February 2017.

[redcarcrashblues]

shit I need a queue system

[ciarawritesmarvel]

Hey sweetie Tag me in Excursions of Heart would you please? Wouldn't miss it 💞 Love you 🙏

I would certainly, love you tooooo

[travelteatv]

For me, Budapest was the perfect place to spend a long weekend – a lot of beautiful buildings to see, great coffees to try, cool bars to drink local beers at… And all of this at a price I could actually afford.

I went with my friend Naomi (@ohsixeleven) and it was lovely to have a weekend of meandering and catching up, without feeling rushed to do things. We saw everything we wanted to (and more, I think) but also had plenty of time to relax at bars and cafes.

It’s rare for me to come back from a city break feeling refreshed but I honestly came back feeling revitalised and energetic; ready to plan our next trip. Unfortunately for us, what followed about a month or so later, was the onslaught of coronavirus and so of course all of those ideas were put to one side for another day. Nonetheless, I’m incredibly thankful that we did still get to experience Budapest (before there were any of the current worries) and hope that I’ll get to return in the same vain one day.

  Out of everything we saw/drank/ate, these were my favourites:

  WHAT WE DID

Fishermans Bastion and Buda Castle

Fisherman’s Bastion is a beautiful terrace overlooking Budapest from the hill; the lower section is free to visit while the upper sections cost about £2.50 (in high season) to enter.

We saw quite a few people relaxing with coffee and a book, and I can see why – yes it’s a tourist attraction and therefore a fairly busy area, but it’s a nice place to hangout nonetheless.

With the castle, we got a bit confused about which building was which – personally I only walked around it due to time constraints so can’t talk about what the inside is like but the afternoon we spent exploring around the outside of the castle was absolutely lovely and something I would definitely recommend whether you plan on going inside or not.

The castle is free to walk around but I’m aware that inside there are two museums, which you do have to pay to enter: The Hungarian National Gallery, History Museum, Military History Museum and Pharmacy Museum.

  Climb the Hill for a great view 

The bastion isn’t the only great place to get a good view – this photo was taken from Castle Hill. To get up here you can either walk or take the funicular railway. I love a good funicular but this time we chose to walk – it didn’t take too long and saved us a whole £3. You can get a couple of beers for that price here!

  All the churches

Walking around the city, you’ll stumble across a lot of churches; we only went into St Stephen’s Basilica which is quite centrally located, and then walked around the Matthias Church (the only reason we didn’t go in was because there was a long queue to enter).

They’re completely different architecturally but both stunning and I’d definitely recommend stopping by.

  Great Market Hall

We visited here on the way to the Gellert Spa, with the aim of trying Langos which is a kind of deep fried bread dish that you can put different toppings onto.

It was a bit of a maze trying to work out where to find the stalls exactly but we finally came across them on the upper level. It’s a bit of an odd market hall but in that way I quite liked it. From what I could tell, the lower floor sells more local and necessary produce such as fruits and vegetables, meanwhile the upper sections are primarily for tourists; there are stalls after stalls selling souvenirs such as keyrings, postcards and tablecloths. My goodness do they love table cloths.

Once we made it past all of these tourist stalls, we got to the food section where I got a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing and stuck to cheese but looking back I definitely should have put a few other toppings on there. Saying that though, they are MASSIVE and it would have been a waste as I could barely eat the one with just cheese, never mind one loaded with a lot else.

We went there first thing in the morning and it was definitely a good option in terms of busyness – we only just managed to get a seat (you can only sit on the tables in front of wherever you purchased your food) and by the time we left, it was getting a bit overcrowded.

The only issue with that of course is whether you can stomach deep fried bread first thing in the morning!

  Wander the beautiful streets and hunt for cool doors 

I say ‘hunt’ but truly, they’re almost everywhere you look. The streets around Buda Castle are incredibly beautiful and a pleasure to wander around.

Our ‘quick’ diversion down a pretty street soon turned into a much longer walk as we were mesmerised by how lovely it all was. Especially seeing as it was a lot quieter than the main areas to meander around.

  Gellert Spa

The main thing everyone mentioned to me activity wise in coming to Budapest was the spa – the main spa I think people tend to visit is Széchenyi but a friend of mine said to me that she visited both Gellert and Széchenyi on her trip and much preferred Gellert as it was better value and quieter, so as we only had a limited time there, decided to follow her advice. 

Of course, I only visited one so would have to take her word for it but Gellert was very nice. It was still fairly busy and in all honesty, a bit of a strange experience in my eyes – it’s not like a spa in the UK. The rooms are a lot more open and the shared areas are a bit confusing – there are lots of winding corridors to walk down and I was never quite sure where I was supposed to be.

Also, we were a bit unfortunate in terms of the time of year we visited as a couple of the outside pools were closed off – the only open one was a fair distance from the inside door and my god, my feet were so cold by the time I finally got in I thought they were going to fall off.

That being said, I don’t think you can go to Budapest and not experience a spa, so I’m glad we did it. All in all, it’s also a bit of a laugh.

  Shoes on the Danube

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Scarpe che raccontano una storia, che hanno camminato tanto per inseguire un sogno che si è poi trasformato in incubo #monument

A post shared by Karloskagathia (@one.ca) on Nov 27, 2016 at 5:19am PST

NB I didn’t take any photos here personally, as I was a bit mesmerised and taken aback by the whole thing.

Created by film director Can Togay and sculptor Gyula Pauer in 2005, this consists of 60 pairs of iron shoes which represent the thousands of people who were made to take off their shoes, before being executed and falling into the river.

This is a heartbreaking piece but most definitely worth a visit to remember what once happened on the banks of the Danube. It’s a heavy stop and I would definitely recommend taking some time here, as it may take a while to sink in.

  Parliament Building 

We walked here on our final morning in the city before catching our flight back and it was so windy. As in, the wind was so strong that it was actually hard to walk around the building.

It’s quite the sight and I would definitely put this on your must visit list if coming to the visit but be aware that you might get blown away.

Half of our time walking around this area was spent admiring the building and the rest was spent pulling hair out of our faces/checking our belongings hadn’t been taken by the wind/trying to stay upright.

  Printa Budapest

I am obsessed with print and design shops. For me to come home without a print is incredibly rare, although I think my boyfriend wishes this wasn’t the case as our walls can’t really handle anything else.

I was fairly restrained this trip and only purchased one piece of artwork but I always love visiting a few different design shops while in new cities, as they’re my favourite souvenirs. I also really like being able to buy something that I know is locally made and that it’s unlikely you can just buy anywhere.

The additional (incredible) bonus to this shop was that I also got to look after a dog while inside. I’m still not 100% sure how it happened but the server needed to go and pick up the print from the back of the shop, wasn’t sure what to do with their dog and all of a sudden I ended up holding it (ok I offered). But it was a lovely dog and I’m very pleased it happened.

  WHAT WE ATE AND DRANK

Budapest is full of incredible, affordable and very cool options to eat and drink. You could easily spend a week here just making the most of their food scene!

  Breakfast/Brunch & Coffee  

Stika

This was an unexpectedly fancy brunch place that my friend Naomi saw online (in fairness, almost all of the places were found by her and I just tagged along for the ride).

We went there for brunch and it was quite busy but they were able to seat us very quickly – the servers were on point and the coffee was incredible (I don’t drink that much coffee but I had two here).

I almost always have eggs for brunch and so can be a bit fussy about them but the food was great; the plating in particular was so beautifully done, I felt like I was in a fine dining restaurant.

Don’t worry though, it wasn’t particularly costly and you don’t have to dress up or anything. It was just very well done and I was really impressed by it.

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Have a sunny October ☀️ Thanks for the picture 📷: @mamabrown.dk #stika #stikabudapest #breakfast #brunch #lunch #dinner #breakfastporn #eggsbenedict #eggsflorentine #pancakes #homemade #juices #sunny #october #foodporn #goodvibesonly

A post shared by STIKA Budapest (@stikabudapest) on Oct 16, 2018 at 10:58pm PDT

  Zerge

I had an absolute blast here – in the Buda Castle district there aren’t that many places to choose from so I’m glad this existed.

It’s a bagel/coffee place ran by lovely people and you can tell that someone really wanted to put their stamp on a place. The heavy metal music that they put on halfway through our visit was a bit random, as was the man who helped Naomi put her coat on (she wasn’t struggling, he just jumped in to help out of the blue) but still, it just made our experience more memorable.

  Lunch/Dinner 

Mazel Tov

100% one of the best restaurants/restaurant experiences I have ever had. I can definitely see why this place is considered the best restaurant in Budapest.

It’s a ruin bar/restaurant in the Old Jewish District which focuses on Israeli food and amazing cocktails. We ordered a big selection of different dishes and then shared them between us. Yes, it was a bit more pricey than some other places you will find in Budapest but it is definitely worth it. It’s still a heck of a lot cheaper than you would find in London/Paris etc.

We had heard that this place can sometimes be difficult to get into, so we got here early (at around 430/5pm) before the dinner rush and were seated within about 5 minutes. It was our first day in the city and we had woken up early to catch our flight, so luckily we were super hungry.

Everything about our experience was fantastic; beautiful decor, lovely atmosphere, a really nice waiter and of course, amazing food. I would eat here every night if I could.

Belli Di Mamma 

Right next door to Mazel Tov is this incredible Italian place which does amazing pizzas; we thought it looked good when we first walked by it and seeing as our hotel was nearby, decided to try it out for ourselves.

Again, really nice food, a cool atmosphere and good beers meant we had a lovely evening, and I would definitely recommend eating here.

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Hey pizza lovers🥳🍕! Van számotokra egy nagyszerű hírünk! Sajnos éttermünk zárva tart, de senkit nem hagyunk pizza nélkül, ugyanis a mai nappal megkezdjük házhozszállításunkat. Online tudtok rendelni a Wolt és a Netpincér Go segítségével, minden nap 11:00-22:00-ig! Rendelési link a BIO-ban! – We have fantastic news! Although the restaurant closed, we would leave no one without pizza, so we start home delivery today! You can order from Wolt and Netpincér Go online every day 11 am to 10 pm! Delivery link in BIO! #bellidimammabudapest #neapolitanpizza #pizza #pizzalovers #italianpizzeria #budapest #italianrestaurant #pizzagourmet #pizzatime #pizzaholic #pizzadelivery #pizzatogo #házhozszállítás #hazhozszallitas #pizzaházhozszállítás #mik_gasztro #leggjobbpizzaavrárosban #mik #mutimiteszel #pizzaislife #mostfogjunkössze #stayhome #staypositive #maradjotthon #sorryweareclosed #contactless #pizzacontactless #wolthungary #netpincergo ##netpincér

A post shared by Belli di Mamma (@belli_di_mamma_budapest) on Mar 21, 2020 at 4:22am PDT

  Drinks

Ruin Bar – Szimpla Kert

The other place that had been recommended to me over and over again by friends who had been to Budapest before, was this ruin bar. Well, it’s kind of a few bars put together.

I can completely see why they recommended it – it’s very cool, in an Industrial old warehouse (bit of an East London vibe) and the drinks are cheap.

We came here in the afternoon, not late on at night (we were too busy eating ourselves into a food coma) but I’d love to come back and experience it in the evening for the full experience.

Spiler

We ended up at Spiler as we wanted to try some traditional Hungarian dishes and weren’t really sure where to go. It’s not a particularly traditional place, as such but it does have a lot of good options if you are looking to try some of their national dishes, such as Paprika Chicken.

It’s a fun place to go to, with cheap beers and an easy atmosphere but it’s not necessarily the coolest/best place you’ll ever go to in all honesty! It’s definitely a bit touristy and gimmicky – I think we ended up here mostly down to location and hunger but you know what, we had a good time! We came in for food and ended up staying for about 3 more drinks, if that says anything…

  WHERE WE STAYED

We stayed at the Continental Hotel in Budapest, which worked very well for us. It cost about £100 each for 3 nights (based on us sharing a twin room), which for a European City Break is great value.

I won’t lie, it’s a bit of an odd hotel – very grand and open inside but not with a lot of life in it. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the stay – I mean it had everything we needed, with a few luxury touches but it didn’t have anything particular special about it.

One thing I will never forget, was the TV in our bedroom, which for some reason they set into a huge black board, making it look (when the TV is off) as though the TV is going to be massive. But once you’ve turned it on, you realise that the TV screen itself only takes up about a quarter of the board and the rest is just empty space hanging on the wall.

I wish I had another way to explain that but please just take my word for it that it was very strange.

  HOW WE GOT AROUND

In terms of location, our hotel was great as we mostly walked everywhere. If you don’t feel like walking, there are lots of other options for getting around though – taxis, buses, trams, bolts and more.

    BOLT

If anywhere was a bit further away, we tended to get a ‘Bolt’ (a lot like Uber except Uber doesn’t exist in Budapest). They’re very cheap (roughly £3 a journey) and it never takes too long to get anywhere within the city.

These worked very well aside from one instance where someone else basically stole our Bolt. I mean I say basically, they did. They got into the car and then asked the driver to drop them somewhere else, which he did.

Annoyingly, Bolt doesn’t have a way of doing anything about this while the journey is in progress, which I realise now is actually very unsafe – if you were inside the car and had an issue with the driver then there is nothing within the app you can use to alert anyone.

All we could do was phone the driver and try to explain that he had the wrong people in the car but he didn’t really speak English, so just hung up on us. It was a really frustrating experience, as you also can’t book another Bolt until that journey is ended.

Luckily there were two of us, each with our own phone, so Naomi just booked her own Bolt but then I had to go through the process of contacting Bolt for a refund, which took a good week to finally get as they didn’t really explain the initial problem. Thankfully I had taken screenshots while the journey was in progress, showing where I was on the map and how I clearly wasn’t in the car.

  BUS

To and from the airport we got the 100E bus, which was very easy (only takes about 40 minutes) although please be aware that the bus does not pick up and drop off at the same place in the city centre.

Tickets can be purchased from the machine located next to the bus stop and cost around £2.50 each way. The services are often very busy, but they’re quite regular so don’t worry too much about being able to get on one – just make sure you leave yourself plenty of time in order to catch your flight back.

  Abi

X

@travelteatv

    A Weekend in Budapest For me, Budapest was the perfect place to spend a long weekend - a lot of beautiful buildings to see, great coffees to try, cool bars to drink local beers at...

[simona-a-marinkova]

This year my friend and I have picked Budapest as the place to celebrate our birthdays. Great way to try something different and be away from London for couple of days. It was pretty good decision, and I was excited to get the flight from London Heathrow to Budapest – Ferenz List Airport.

It was sunny July evening when we landed – 1st sight of Budapest is Danube, green neighbourhoods, blocks of flats and not so big, modern airport. Cool city. And definitely very well maintained and tourist-friendly. Few quick tips to keep in mind below.

  Transport & Getting around

It is easy to get from the airport to the city centre – just get the shuttle bus 100E and get off at Kalvin Ter M (in the heart of the city). Ticket price is 900 F (around £3). Bus ticket can be bought from a machine at stations or service desk. Staff usually speaks English and are happy to help if needed. Other option is to get Uber.

The bus is a cool way to get a sense of the city – I noticed wider streets (compared to London), mix of houses and blocks (left from Soviet time), new modern buildings and green spaces / gardens. The city reminded me of Sofia and also of Berlin in terms of architecture and some shops / brands.

Also, a good sightseeing tip is – take tram Number 2, which is following Danube. Ticket cost around £1 and you could sit and enjoy the view on the way. Danube is a pretty evening view 🙂

  Accommodation

We stayed in Pest (the flat part of Budapest) and almost everything was walking distance from our place. Our Airbnb studio flat was near the main tourist high street, Danube bank and Vörösmarty tér (Square).  It was so handy and there was no need to take public transport. I also enjoyed biking one day by the river – it was quicker way to explore the bank and also chill out. Streets are full of cyclists so definitely worth trying.

The city has plenty of Airbnb, hotels and hostels – so good choice for any type of travel. I’m fan of hostels and next time I go – I will try this option. Budapest is perfect for sightseeing, partying and meeting other travellers.

  Cash or Card

I am not big fan of cash and normally prefer to pay with a card. Luckily, in Budapest in most places to eat and all thermal baths you can pay with card. Cash is required if you purchase a ticker for some attractions or at local markets. Be aware – sometimes it is not possible to split a bill if paying with card. Also, there are ATMs almost everywhere – at the airport, near major stations and banks.

  Budapest – My favorite thing about the city is the sightseeing places and thermal baths. If I was living there, I would stop going to gym and focus on swimming in the baths instead. I enjoyed chill in the water on a hot day. Here’s what we did over the weekend…

  Walking Tour & Sightseeing

If you visit the city, I strongly recommend trying out any of the free walking tours available. They are fun and at the same time you can learn more about the city and local history. This is the tour we attended:

Budapest Free Walking Tour

It starts every day at 10:30 am – meeting point is in the city centre, Vörösmarty square (at the lion fountain). It is free and at the end of the tour, you tip as per your budget. The tour covered some of the top sights in the city like – St.Stephen’s Basilica, Chain Bridge, Royal Palace and Fisherman Bastion. Our tour guide, A. was funny with great sense of humour and she told us more about the local history with some “politically incorrect” insights. This is what I like the most! It’s cool to hear that the Change Bridge is the biggest in Budapest or Vastagh Gyorgy and his horse’s statue (it is in Buda) is famous for the balls of the horse! Apparently, before exam local students come to the statue and touch the balls for good luck. Another interesting insight is from the communist times – after Hungary was “liberated” from the Nazis by the Soviets, “Soviets wanted to make sure that Hungary is Nazi free that they forgot to go home for the next 45 years”.

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Also, you could learn several Hungarian words, which is fun as the language is nothing like any other language in Europe. Well, apart from Finnish and Estonian – apparently the 3 countries have common ancestors, who have split after arriving in Europe. In any case, I remember the essentials:

beer is shur 

wine is por 

Other cool place to visit in Budapest is the Liberty Statue – located on one of the hills in Buda and watching over the city. This is Soviet monument, and because it looks cool it was not destroyed after the collapse of communism. It’s popular spot for young people to have a drink at sunset, and enjoy the view of the city.

Not to miss is also the building of the Parliament – the working place of the Prime Minister of Hungary. It is the 3rd biggest Parliament in the world, and its architecture is absolutely beautiful! It stands at Danube’s bank and it’s a gorgeous view in the evening with all these lights.

I wanted to visit the National Museum as well, however I did not have enough time (got distracted in the baths!). As I heard, the museum has pretty interesting artefacts around local history and pagan / nomadic past of Magyars (Hungarian ancestors).

Not to miss is also the Catholic Cathedral, St. Istvan (or Steven) which has the sacred remains (piece of an arm) of the saint, who is the 1st official king of Hungary. The cathedral is beautoful and surely would be appreciated by art lovers.

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  Jewish district and the hipster Budapest

Obviously, the Jewish district is known for the history during WW2. It starts with the Great Synagogue at Dohany Street. It is the 2nd biggest synagogue (after the one in Amsterdam), though locals claim it is the biggest. It is an interesting monument and it is worth visit – just be aware of its opening hours and dress code. Also, in its garden there is a silver tree, whose leaves contain names of Hungarian Jews killed in WW2.

I’d say the district is my favourite part of the city – it is artsy, hip and young. It reminds me of London’s Shoreditch. I like the idea of using old stuff in a creative way and creating outdoorsy places, where people can socialise over a drink.

We visited very cool place – Szimpla – like a beer garden / bar open day and night. The definition of hipster place! Also, I bet it is great spot for live music in the evenings. No wonder is popular with tourists.

We enjoyed couple of Soproni pints (local beer) before moving on to the near by street food market Karavan. Here we tried the local “communist pizza” – Langos. You could also have touristy burgers and even vegan options are available. Karavan is a cool place, good to have local fast food and some beers.

This area is also popular with the many bars, garden restaurants and night life.

Thermal Baths

This is a must experience in Budapest! The city is known for its thermal baths and so I wanted to try at least 2 of them over my short stay. Baths are increasingly popular, and as I saw sometimes you have to queue to get in. I imagine this is annoying for locals because of queuing and higher prices. We visited 2 baths – Rudas and Szechenyi.

Night swim at Rudas Bath

Rudas is located on Danube bank, near the bridge. It has several sections – thermal baths, wellness and swimming pool. Entry is around 5100 F (or £15-£16). We tried out the night bathing from 22:00 to 04:00. It was busy Saturday night, and we queued for around 25 mins until we got it. The bath is well equipped with lockers, changing rooms, showers and laundry dryer.

The wellness part has 2 big pools with different temperatures – 26 C and 33 C (if I remembered correct). There are also 2 smaller pools – very cold and very hot 42 C. I tried to get in the hot one, and my feet was burning so I gave up on it. Some people manage to stay there for several minutes – admirable! I would feel like boiled chicken if I had to get it there! I was mostly in the bigger pools, which I thought are perfect place to have a nap whilst enjoying the jacuzzi effect. Really nice massage for your back or feet.

The thermal bath part on the other hand is located in an ex mosque. The mosque built in Ottoman times was regenerated and now its beautiful building is used as a bath. The night vibes are so relaxing – lights shadowing, beautiful ceiling and light blue watered pool. The bath here has 1 major pool (I assume it should be around 34 C).Once I felt hot, I was jumping in the other smaller pools – these are 4 more pools between 28 to 42 C. After hot pool, 28 feels freezing. Not to miss is the steam room too – how long could you stay in 50 C steam?

And the best bit of the bath is the rooftop! Smaller warm pool on the roof, with view towards Buda and Danube. It was beautiful! Imagine chilling there with a drink in the pool? A dream, and I quite enjoyed it. That night was even more beautiful as it was thundering and we could see the lightening in the sky from the pool. I am not sure how safe this is, but experience is worth it.

Szechenyi Bath

This bath is different – it is actually outdoors and is located outside the city centre, next to the zoo. The best way to get there is by Metro for several stops. Again, the bath is in a beautiful yellow building. It needs some renovation, however it still looks great. It has a swimming deep pool and 2 more big warmer pools. I spent my bday day there – sunbathing and chilling in all pools, trying out the bubbles and jacuzzi. Perfect place to float. Entry is again around 5400 F. There is also restaurant when you get hungry / thirsty.

Speaking of food and drink…

Places to eat and drink

One flag here – Budapest city centre is full of Italian places. I love Italian food, however I would not eat it when in Hungary. To me – this is a tourist trap, and may suit well if you fancy pizza and burger (oh yeah, burgers everywhere). I am a fan of trying local dishes, so we were looking for places to have more Hungarian meals. Of course, in tourist areas prices are 3-4 times higher than the normal for locals. We were advised to eat in Pest, as Buda is more expensive and food is not greater.

So first – what is actually Hungarian food? Meat. Loads of meat. If you are vegetarian, or worse – vegan, you will struggle and you will not try locals meals.

Hungarian dishes

Goulash (Gulyás) – this is a soup with beef and paprika. The traditional version is soup, however tourists tend to have the stew version (which is the touristy option).

Paprikash – this is a stew with chicken, sour cream and paprika sauce, and also Hungarian version of dumplings. It is very tasty and goes well with red wine for dinner! Actually we have Paprikash in Bulgaria too, but ours is more tomato focused and no dumplings.

Langos – this is very popular street food. It is actually what Hungarian eat when drinking. It is fried fatty bread topped with sour cream and cheese. Other versions include paprika. I even saw Nutella Langos. It is very similar to our mekica – which we eat for breakfast.

Cake – Budapest has a plenty of bakeries or coffe houses and you can get delicious cakes. The traditional cake is a type of Sponge cake.

  Hungarian drinks

Alcoholic on top of that.

Wine – Hungary is a wine region, so when visiting definitely try some loal wine. Red wines are particulartly good.

Palinka – Hungarian spirit, they say up to 70% alcohol. It tastes like fire. If you tried other Eastern European spirits like rakia you know what to expect 😀

Unicum – is a traditional herbal liqaur and they say is good to have a shot when getting a cold.

  Where to eat?

Depends on your taste. We tried mixture of street places and nice restaurants.

Street food places – we tried Karavan market and the Central Hall Market. The Central Market has a range of grocery stands, souvenirs and up stairs it has several street food and Cafes. I got a chocolate truffle cake for 300 F and it was the best cake I had in town.

For breakfast, we tried to very good places: Kuglof and a French bakery Amber. At Kuglof I really liked the French toast with fried eggs and Paprika, and the massive chocolate latte. At Amber I gave a try to another chocolate cake.

For dinner, I enjoyed soup guyash at Hungarian bistro. I also tried chicken paprikash at another garden restaurant Borze Kavehaz, which was pretty good. Portions here are quite big, so I was struggling to finish my meal.

  Budapest is one of my favourite cities, and I will be back. I have always wanted to visit around NYE – as it’s beautiful and why not anjoy thermal bath again when cold?

Definitely great place for weekend trip and / or solo travel!

        Weekend break in Budapest -this is why it’s a good idea!

This year my friend and I have picked Budapest as the place to celebrate our birthdays. Great way to try something different and be away from London for couple of days.

Weekend break in Budapest -this is why it’s a good idea! This year my friend and I have picked Budapest as the place to celebrate our birthdays. Great way to try something different and be away from London for couple of days.

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Tony Stark’s Exception

Summary: Tony Stark finds something he doesn’t mind being handed to him.  Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader Word Count: 1100 Warnings: Cursing, pregnancy, hospital childbirth.  Square Filled: First Child for @marvelfluffbingo​.  A/N: Tryinggggg to get some characters that aren’t Seb or Bucky for you lovelies since I just wrapped up IYJR and have Buckvember coming up, so be on the lookout this week! Happy Reading :)

After plopping into the backseat of the limo, press and fans nipping at his heels, Tony let out a deep breath. 

“Back to the hotel, boss?” Happy inquired from the driver’s seat. 

Tony squeezed his eyes shut as he thought. “Food first. Then hotel.”

Happy whistled as he carefully pulled away from the curb, the reporters and fans. Tony remembered his phone buzzing a few times in his pocket during the press conference, so he lifted up to dig the device from his pocket; several missed messages from Y/N had him wincing as he dialed her back. 

“Anthony Edward Stark!” she screeched into the phone the moment the line connected. “With all the motherfucking technology you have invented and carry with you, and I can’t get a hold of you when I need to! Are you shitting me! Oh, but let aliens come down through a hole in the sky —”

Tony cleared his throat. “Darling, you seem to be having some kind of emergency. Is it, in fact, aliens coming down through a hole in the sky?”

The depth with which he could hear her inhale told Tony that he was potentially in for an ass-kicking when he made it back to New York. 

“No, not aliens, not a hole in sky, but your fucking firstborn making it’s way through a hole —”

Tony interrupted her again. “Okay, breathe, deep breaths, like they taught you in the class. I’m on my way.” He disconnected the line amidst more screaming from his wife and told Happy to pull over. “I’ve got to get back to New York faster than we can get there in the limo.”

Happy frowned. “The airport is several miles away …”

“Not going in a limo,” Tony mumbled, accessing a setting on his watch as he got out onto the sidewalk. “Baby’s coming, so there’s no time.”

By the time Happy had put the vehicle in park and got out of the driver’s seat, Tony was fully suited up and blasting off toward the opposite coast. 

Sweat had plastered your hair to your face and forehead. The contractions had started so suddenly and progressed so quickly, there was no time for an epidural. Thank God Rhodey was in the city and FRIDAY had been able to contact him quickly — especially since Tony wasn’t answering any of his communication devices. 

“You got this, Y/N, you can do it, c’mon,” Rhodey encouraged, letting you squeeze the hell out of your hand and making sure his back was turned toward the business end of the bed. You didn’t care, but he was sheepish about these things, you guessed. 

You groaned as the urge to push hit you. “I am not a recruit, Rhodes, I am in labor. I appreciate the encouragement but maybe — yeow!”

The doctor finished checking you and started to gown up. “Mrs. Stark, we can’t wait any longer, I’m afraid. Time to push.”

Your whole demeanor changed at that point, from angry and frustrated, to downright afraid. Tears filled your eyes as you begged the doctor to wait just a few more minutes. 

"Tony will be here soon, I know he will! He was in California and it takes time to get here, even with the suit, but he wouldn’t miss this, I know he wouldn’t!”

As if to emphasize your point, a loud thud sounded from the hospital roof. You raised your brow and Rhodey grinned. 

“I would say he’s proving your point,” the man chuckled. 

But the pushing couldn’t wait; neither the doctor, your body, or the baby would have it with any more stalling. Knowing that Tony was there and on his way gave you a bit of hope that he wouldn’t miss your child coming into the world. 

“Hope I didn’t miss the main event,” Tony quipped, breezing into the room. He was huffing and puffing a little, but what did it matter — he was there. 

You let go of Rhodey’s arm (that man quickly excused himself from the room) to grab for Tony’s hand. He kissed you and then your sweaty forehead, apologizing for not being there sooner. 

“Forgiveness will have to come later, Mr. Stark,” the doctor spoke up, “I see a head coming down.”

“That explains the pain,” you groaned. 

Tony climbed on the bed behind you to give you something more sturdy to brace against. He held both of your hands in his set his cheek against your head. 

“We’ve got this, babe. You and me, almost three. Here we go.”

He kissed your cheek as you bore down and worked on pushing that baby out. Your labor had progressed quickly and delivery wasn’t so different: three pushes and a crying, screaming little girl made her way into the world. 

The doctors and nurses made quick work of cleaning her off after Tony cut the umbilical cord. He climbed off the bed so that you could be taken care, going between checking on you and stealing peeks at your daughter. 

When you were finally cleaned up and stitched up, a nurse came over with a swaddled bundle of pink and approached Tony. 

“Mom warned us you don’t like to be handed things, Dad, but …” 

“There’s an exception to every rule.” Tony held his hands out to take the baby into his arms. He held her so carefully, you gave a tired chuckle. 

“She won’t break, love.”

He carefully sat himself next to you and positioned the baby so she was half with you, half with him, requiring one arm from each of you to hold her stable. Tony put his free arm around you and shook his head. 

“Just can’t believe I managed something so amazing,” he breathed. 

You leaned your head against his shoulder and looked at your daughter. “And that’s coming from Iron Man.”

Tony laughed. “Iron Man pales in comparison to her.”

“I don’t want to bring you down, but I tend to agree,” you teased. “Hey, where’s Happy?”

“Probably on a plane from California to New York,” Tony answered, unfazed by anything save for his daughter. “You think she’ll be an engineer?”

You pretended to think for a moment, then shrugged. “We’ve got time for her figure it out.”

“Hey,” Tony beckoned; you looked up at him. “Thank you, for the most amazing gift anyone’s given me.”

You smiled. “It’s a gift for both of us. I love you, Tony.”

“Love you more, Y/N.” He pushed the blanket away from the baby’s face and gently ran his finger over her soft cheek. “And I love you, tiny thing, more than you’ll ever know.”

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​ @jennmurawski13​ @connie326​ @auriandthepussicats​

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Speed Dating

Summary: Your desperation pays off when you meet a handsome man at a speed dating event.  Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 820 Warnings: A few poorly placed easter eggs.  Square Filled: Y5; Speed Dating for @buckybarnesbingo​ [E] Square Filled: Age Gap for @marvelfluffbingo​ A/N: Just a cute and silly little diddy I typed up trying to get some words on the page. Enjoy :)

Oh, this was a fucking stupid idea. You knew it the moment you stepped into the room. Speed dating? Just what level of hellish desperation had you dropped into?

But, you were here, you had a name tag, and you’d paid a non-refundable sign-up fee. Nothing to do but find the table number on the ticket you’d been given, have a seat, and wait for the event to start. 

The first guy who sat down across from you was about your age and handsome but was so nervous, he couldn’t even look you in the eye, let alone say anything that captured your attention. Two minutes couldn’t go by fast enough. 

The next guy was exactly the opposite, but to the extreme. Way too much confidence, wouldn’t stop looking at your chest, and, when it came time to talk about you, made you feel like your life paled in comparison to his. 

Next. 

Three more guys had you weighing your losses on that sign-up fee. What a mess this had turned out to be — and the sad part was, you couldn’t even blame your friends or anyone else. You had decided to do this all on your own. The bell rang for the next round to start, but you gathered your purse and sighed, preparing to push out of your chair. 

“Damn, did I scare you away already? Usually I can at least get one date before I have to wonder where a girl disappeared to.”

You dropped back into your seat to give the man a good tongue-lashing (more from your frustration with yourself than him) but his blue eyes were shining and his lips were smirking. 

“Are you teasing me before you even introduce yourself?” you asked, one brow raised. 

He chuckled. “You just looked so frantic to leave, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’m Bucky. Bucky Barnes.”

“Y/N,” you offered, forgoing your last name for the time being. “What do you do, Bucky, besides tease desperate women who make the mistake of coming to one of these things?”

Bucky laughed again, but it was a genuine reaction to your statement. “I work in special forces, I guess you could say. Recon. Nothing that keeps me busy enough to stay away from friends who insisted I come here and find a date. What about you?”

You told him about your day job. “Other than that, I spend time with friends and family, but everyone else is finding a significant other and I guess I was feeling lonely. So here I am.”

“How old are you?” Bucky inquired. He tilted his head to the side as though he wanted to figure it for himself but couldn’t land on a number. 

You gave him your age with only a slight blush. “Too old for shenanigans, too young to pass up dating events. How old are you?”

Bucky winced. “I’m several years older than you.”

“How many years?”

“At least ten, I’ll tell you that much.”

You could work with that; Bucky seemed like a nice, relatively normal person, anyway. You opened your mouth to ask another question, but the buzzer went off, signaling that it was time to switch again. 

Bucky leaned forward on the table. “You know, if we both left, they’d still be even on participants. I know a great shawarma place not far from here. I mean, I’ve never eaten there, but my friend Tony raves about it.”

“I could eat,” you nodded, gathering your purse again and scooting away from the table to take Bucky’s outstretched hand. 

He escorted you past the sign-up table, through the lobby, and out onto the sidewalk. You expected him to let go of your hand but he held tight as the two of you walked toward the restaurant. You took turns asking questions and telling about yourselves, not caring at all that all of New York City seemed to be on that sidewalk. 

The shawarma place was small but the food was delicious. A couple of hours passed before the two of you realized. When you decided you needed to get home, Bucky had the grace to look only a little disappointed. He dropped a few bills in the tip jar on the counter and followed you back outside. 

“I had fun,” you smiled. “It was a pleasure getting to know you more, Bucky Barnes.”

“Likewise, Y/N,” he grinned, nervously reaching for your hand. “Could we do this again sometime? I mean, it doesn’t have to be shawarma, of course. Could be Italian, Japanese, a movie, a play. A walk in the park. Whatever you wanna do. But, I’d really love to see you again.”

You face heated with innocent excitement at the prospect of seeing Bucky again. “I’d really love that. I’ll give you my number, if you promise to call.”

Bucky smiled. “The end of the universe couldn’t stop me.”

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​ @jennmurawski13​

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize

Part Eight: Marry Me

Summary: Whether they’re ready for it or not, Sebastian and Y/N’s wedding day arrives.  Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 2585 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Drinking, confused feelings, fluff ... oh and that one scene at the end ...  Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo​​​​​. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Series Masterlist

The morning of the wedding, Y/N woke up in a room at the Waldorf with Kennedy. Everyone except for Kennedy was unaware of the truth in their arrangement and had insisted that the engaged couple not sleep even in the same apartment the night before. Y/N’s family was in a couple of other rooms in the same hotel but had given her space with her friend for the time being. 

She started the coffee pot then went to the bathroom to do her business, wash her face, and take a good look in the mirror. These were the last few hours she’d ever be single; even after their marriage ended, she wouldn’t be ‘single’, she would be ‘divorced’. 

“This is too weird,” she mumbled, moving away from the mirror and towards the coffee pot. She poured herself a cup and then one for Kennedy too when her friend began to stir. Y/N sat back on the bed, against the pillows, trying to focus on the positives of the day. 

Kennedy sipped on the warm liquid and nodded. “Mmm, yes, that’s good. How are you feeling this morning?”

Y/N snorted. “Nervous as hell. I know I want to do this, I know I’m doing the right thing, but I don’t — I don’t know. It’s weird at the same time.”

“Do you love him?”

“Sebastian? Of course I love him. He’s one of my closest friends. I wouldn’t do this kind of thing for just anyone, you know.”

Kennedy took another drink of her coffee. “I know that. I know you love Seb, but what I’m asking is, are you in love with him?”

Y/N thought about that for a good minute. She wanted to answer honestly, but she simply didn’t know — and she told Kennedy as much. 

“There was a moment the other night, when he came and proposed, just the way I had told his mother that he had done. He hugged me really tight and I sort of cuddled into him. I could just breathe in his smell … it was so strong and masculine and comforting … so Seb. And I thought, ‘Yeah. I could get used to this.’” She shook her head and set her coffee on the bedside table. Her stomach wasn’t up for consuming anything. “But that doesn’t mean I’m in love with him, and it certainly doesn’t mean I should get used to anything in this little arrangement.” 

She slid off the bed and went to unzip the garment bag that protected her dress. Anytime now, Georgeta, Milena, Y/N’s sister-in-law, and her grandmother would be joining them in the room, anxious to get the bride-to-be wedding-ready. She ran her fingers softly over the pretty embroidery on the dress and shook her head. 

“My feelings aren’t the most important thing at the moment. Getting through today, getting Sebastian custody of Milena — that’s what’s important. Finish that coffee, I’ll call down to room service to bring up a spread for the ladies coming to meet us soon.”

Y/N couldn’t meet Kennedy’s eyes. If she did, she knew that the confused feelings brewing within her would only bring her to tears, and she refused to cry anything but happy tears on her wedding day. 

Sebastian couldn’t stop looking at the clock. Every minute that passed, he was one minute closer to marrying Y/N; one less minute she had to back out on him. Not that he expected that of her, but, well, he was nervous.

“I was nervous too, the day I married your mother,” Anthony commented, taking over the cufflink Sebastian had been working the last few minutes to secure. “Marrying someone with a child is a big commitment. You were older. We knew how custody was going to work with you. Marrying someone who hasn’t had that child very long, leaves a person with a lot of unknowns.”

The younger man frowned. “You think this is a bad idea?”

“Not at all,” Anthony assured with a kind smile. “What I’m trying to say — and I guess not doing a great job of saying — is that you’ve found someone really special, Sebastian. I’m very proud of you and I’m very happy for you.”

Sebastian’s shoulders released some tension. “Thanks. That means a lot, really. Mom and I both lucked out with you, I think.”

Anthony clapped him on the back before pulling him in for a hug. “Anything you and the girls need, come to us. We’ll help you. We’re here to help you.”

“Thanks.” He looked at the clock again. “An hour. How is there still an hour to go?”

With a roll of laughter that can only come from someone who has lived through the same experience before, Anthony clapped his stepson on the back. 

“C’mon, let’s get you a beer to take the edge off. Shall we?”

“Yeah, a beer sounds good,” Sebastian sighed, heading down to the kitchen with Anthony. 

Y/N’s grandmother zipped up the back of her dress, and her stepmother helped her balance while she pushed her feet into her shoes and fixed the buckle. She stood and smoothed out the dress, tucked her curled hair behind her ears, and took a shaky breath before going to the floor length mirror to get a good look at herself. 

“So pretty,” Milena told her, smiling shyly as she leaned into her grandmother. 

Y/N looked at the small girl, wearing her own pretty dress, and grinned. She remembered now why she was doing this; why her own feelings didn’t matter. She would have a good life with Sebastian and Milena, for as long as they would have her. Milena would have the support and the family she needed. Sebastian wouldn’t crash into parenthood alone. 

Y/N crouched in front of Milena, careful not to crease her dress. She took Milena’s hands in her own. “Not as pretty as you. It’s just about time, princess — you ready for me to marry your uncle?”

Milena nodded emphatically. Y/N held out her hand and the two of them walked ahead of the other ladies, hand in hand all the way to the courthouse. 

Despite the beer he’d had before coming to City Hall, Sebastian was well-aware of his nerves as he waited for their appointed ceremony time. Y/N was waiting behind with Milena and her father, wanting to wait until the last possible second before Sebastian saw her. 

“Give me that much tradition, anyway,” she had smirked. 

He could see that it was something important to her, and once she walked through the doors, her arm hooked through her father’s and her other hand holding tight to Milena’s, Sebastian decided the wait had been entirely worth every second of anticipation leading up to the moment her father placed Y/N’s hand in his. They both leaned down to kiss Milena on the cheek, then sent her to sit with Georgeta for the rest of the ceremony. 

“You look so beautiful,” he whispered, taking her hands in his. 

She smiled up at him and he knew his compliment had gone far. “Thank you. You’re quite handsome in that suit.”

He smiled, too. The justice was ready to start the ceremony then, but Sebastian couldn’t take his eyes off of Y/N; she was truly a vision in that embroidered dress. She was done up more than her everyday appearance, but she was still the woman he knew. He was proud to know that she was his, at least for a little while. 

In fact, he had a difficult time keeping up with where they were at in the ceremony for all the staring at her he was doing. Y/N didn’t seem to notice, and thank goodness Sebastian was paying enough attention to know when it was his turn to speak. 

Repeating after the justice, Sebastian said the vows they had chosen together. “I promise you, Y/N, that I will be your loving and loyal husband from now on. I will share with you all of life’s joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, until death parts us.”

Carefully, he slid the band from her wedding set onto her finger. Her eyes were glazed with tears, and Sebastian hoped they were happy ones. Y/N slid a gold wedding band on the appropriate finger of his left hand and repeated the same vows. Her voice caught and a couple of tears fell before she go to the part about death parting them; perhaps knowing the vow was a lie already was difficult. He would have to remember to apologize to her later; he would never stop thanking her for doing all of this for him. When her vow was complete, she squeezed his hands and let out a deep breath. 

“As a ceaseless reminder of this hour, and of the promise you have made to each other, these rings also speak of the oneness you now experience as husband and wife. By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I officially pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Y/N’s eyes went wide; Sebastian realized they had never discussed this part. Of all of the people watching, though, only Kennedy knew that this was not a marriage borne of love, but of necessity. Of one friend in need and the other friend coming to his aid. Quickly taking control of the moment, Sebastian dropped her hands to cradle her face. 

“I love you,” he whispered before pressing his lips to hers.

Her response was soft and hesitant at first, but after that first initial meeting of their lips, she pressed into him, her arms going around his neck. Sebastian wrapped his arms around her middle to have her as close as possible. Were it not for the applause of their audience, he might have let the kiss go on until she pulled away. 

The reception dinner was a small affair, only attended by the family members who had attended the ceremony, Kennedy, and a couple of other local, mutual friends. There was good conversation and lots of laughter. The newlywed couple felt so much love surrounding them. 

At the end of the night, Milena went home with her grandparents. Y/N and Sebastian headed to a different room in the Waldorf — a gift from his parents — amidst a beautiful sparkler send off. Kennedy winked at Y/N when the girls hugged, letting her friend know the sparklers had been her idea. Even under the circumstances, she appreciated that Kennedy had remembered Y/N always liked the idea and made it happen for her. 

The cab ride to the hotel was quiet. They were both tired, but also anxious. There were certain things expected on a wedding night … kissing to seal their vows in front of everyone was one thing. Sleeping together was an entirely different story. 

Once in the room, where their overnight bags had already been dropped off, Y/N dropped down to the mattress and gave him a nervous smile as he locked the door behind them. 

“Comfy,” she commented, though they both were already aware of the quality of beds in the hotel. 

Sebastian nodded, nervously shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m pretty tired. You?”

She shrugged. “Tired, yeah. A little overwhelmed.”

Kicking off his shoes, Sebastian announced that he was going to shower; she should go ahead and comfortable, get to sleep, if she wanted to. Y/N nodded and waited for him to leave before moving from the mattress. 

As it was, when he came out from the shower, shirtless in gym shorts, his hair still dripping a little, Y/N was still in her dress, leaning back against the headboard with her legs and bare feet stretched out in front of her. She was flipping channels on the television but smiled when she saw him. 

“Can’t get the zipper,” she chuckled, “otherwise I’d be in pajamas by now. Do you mind?”

She came to stand in front of him, sweeping her hair out of the way. Sebastian licked his lips and, with shaky hands, slowly pulled down the zipper at the back of her dress. With the pull tab down as far as it would go, he could see black lace peeking out at him; it matched the bra straps coming over her shoulders and securing behind her back. He swallowed so hard, it had to be audible. 

“Is that it?” Y/N asked. 

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut for a second and cleared his throat. “Yeah. Sorry.”

He hadn’t realized his hand was resting on her hip until she turned to thank him and they were suddenly centimeters apart from each other. Sebastian’s hand came up to caress her cheek. Y/N’s eyes were wide and searching his face for any type of explanation as to what he was thinking. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, his head falling toward hers. “Thank you, Bright Eyes, for marrying me today.”

Barely able to breathe, let alone manage words, Y/N only nodded. Her hands came up to the backs of his arms and rested there. Seconds that felt like minutes passed in antagonizing suspense before Sebastian cupped her chin and pressed his lips softly to hers — the way he would have done if they had continued their kiss from earlier in the day. 

Y/N didn’t hesitate this time to return his kiss; it was as though she had been waiting all day for him to do this. Her hands slid up his arms before clasping behind his neck, pulling him into her even more. She was the one who first ran her tongue lightly over his bottom lip, but Sebastian happily and willingly allowed her access. 

It wasn’t until, from instinct, he gently pressed her back toward the bed that they parted. He kept his hands at her hips until she was steady, then took a full step back. 

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Y/N/N. This wasn’t part of the deal. I don’t expect — that’s not what you agreed to.”

“It was both of us,” she excused. “Not saying it’s not good that we stopped. That’s a big line to cross. The last few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions and we should be careful not to feed off of that.”

“You’re right. Anyway, I’m going to get some ice. I’ll let you do what you need to do.”

She didn’t say anything — hell, she wouldn’t even look at him. Sebastian cursed himself all the way down to the ice machine and back, wondering how many more times he was going to risk ruining his closest, most important friendship before this was all over. 

Comfort came for him when they settled into bed, finally, and Y/N scooted right next to him and laid her head on his chest. She held her left hand up for both of them to see; the diamond sparkled from the light of the television in the otherwise dark room. 

“Can’t believe we got married today,” she breathed. 

Sebastian smirked and put an arm around her. “Me either. Regret it yet?”

She sat up only enough so she could turn and place a chaste kiss on his lips. “Not for a single second. Do you?”

Sebastian shook his head and kissed her again. She settled back against his chest, drawing in a deep breath before her eyes fluttered closed. He knew that he should sleep, too, but instead he lay awake for a couple of hours, working to process through the feelings that seemed to suddenly be too much for his mending heart to contain. 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​ @jennmurawski13​ @connie326​

IYJR: @elsatxx​ @tanelle83​ @amanda-teaches​ @etherealwaifgoddess​ @kmuir1​ @ntlmundy​ @jayankles​ @rebekahdawkins​ @denise1605​ @rhadigen​ @peace-love-hobbitness​ @itsallyscorner​ @mizzzpink​ @auspiciousharriet​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​ @learisa​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @katherinereid​ @lokilokilokilokilokiloki​ @thewolfsenate​

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize

Part One: Blindsided

Summary: Sebastian’s close friend stands by his side as he and his family say a sad goodbye and face new obstacles in the days and weeks to come.  Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 1900 Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure.  Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo.  A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language. Happy Reading! 

Dismal notes sounded together in morbid harmony throughout the church as funeral attendees greeted each other in the lobby. The people filed together toward the sanctuary, offering condolences to the family as they passed. Sebastian did his best to be cordial, but between his grief and looking out for the one other person he needed to be there, he feared he wasn’t doing so well interacting with the guests. 

“Calma, Sebastian,” his mother soothed, rubbing a hand over his back before she went to accept the outstretched hand of another guest. “Y/N will be here. She said she will be here, she will be here.”

Sebastian nodded and gave the next person in line a tight, sad smile. He knew that Y/N would be there; she always was when he asked for her support. The unexpected circumstances of his life, however, made him anxious for her presence. 

In the last few days, Sebastian had thought often of a song released sometime around his senior year of high school. The real troubles in life, the spoken-word song warned, are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at four P.M. on some idle Tuesday. The hour was earlier than four in the afternoon, but it was a Tuesday when he received the call telling him that his sister Irina had been involved in a fatal car accident on her way to work that morning. The doctors had been optimistic taking her into surgery, but her injuries were more extensive than the hospital staff had been able to read on x-rays and CT scans. While on the operating table, Irina’s heart stopped. The surgeon had been unable to restart the organ. 

A pleasantly feminine, floral scent invaded his nostrils as soft fingers intertwined with his, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked to his side to see Y/N Y/L/N next to him. Her eyes met his, and she squeezed his hand. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late, Seb. LaGuardia was a disaster.”

He leaned to kiss her cheek. “Don’t apologize. Thank you for coming. I’m not sure I could have done this without you.”

“Even if you could, I wouldn’t have let you,” she returned. 

Finally, the last of the guests had filed into the sanctuary, and the family could take their places at the front. Sebastian’s mother stepped out of line to hug Y/N and thank her also for being there. Y/N replied in Romanian, something she had learned after becoming friends with Sebastian all those years ago. She wasn’t fluent, but she could comfortably hold a conversation. 

“Trebuia să fiu aici.” She had to be there, not from a sense of obligation, but because she wanted to support Sebastian and his family in whatever way she could. 

When they were all seated, Sebastian between his mother and Y/N, and his stepfather on the other side of his mother, the priest began the service. Sebastian hadn’t let go of Y/N’s hand since she had intertwined their fingers when she arrived. Occasionally, he would squeeze her hand, and she squeezed back every time. If he needed the reminder that she was there, then she would give it. 

After the eulogy and the singing and the praying had all wrapped up, Sebastian stepped out of the pew with the other pallbearers to carry his sister’s casket to the church parking lot where the hearse was waiting to take her to the cemetery. He clenched his jaw in an effort to hold back the tears glazing over his eyes. 

Y/N walked behind his mother and stepfather in the processional out of the sanctuary but hung back with the crowd when the walked to the car at the front of the line of cars. Georgeta turned and motioned for her to join. 

“We know what you mean to my Sebastian,” the older woman assured. “Irina would want you with us as much as possible today.”

Y/N gave her a tight smile and followed the family into the black limousine. Sebastian joined them a couple of minutes later, sliding onto the seat beside her. He took her hand again. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” he told her quietly as the driver pulled out of the church lot. 

She nodded once. “Your mother said Irina would want it this way. I was going to ride with someone else, or take a cab.”

“No, you should be here with us. Mom’s right, Irina would want it this way. But I mean here. For the whole thing.”

She squeezed his hand and held his gaze. “Seb. There’s no way I wasn’t going to be here. I’m around as long as you need me to be, okay?”

He swallowed down the lump in his throat and kissed her forehead. Besides his mother and his sister, no woman was close to him like Y/N. They had become friends when they both had bit parts in the same movie, extremely early on in their careers. The friendship had clicked so easy, they kept in touch and grew closer as the years went on. The media had speculated for years that they were more than friends, but romance had never been a part of their relationship. 

After the burial, the day was only partially over. Sebastian was ready to go home and rest, but there was a whole wake to get through yet. He hoped the gathering would pass quickly and maybe he wouldn’t be required to interact with too many people. 

Guests were busy eating the well-catered food, which gave him the opportunity to visit more with his mother and stepfather. Y/N had gone to the bathroom to freshen up, giving his mother the opportunity to bring up an issue that she hadn’t wanted to stress her son over until they got through the burial. 

“Irina and I talked once about what to do if something like this happened,” Georgeta began. “It was not long after the baby was born. She was supposed to get it in writing, make it all legal. But she was going to school, raising her daughter. She didn’t get it done. And now …”

Sebastian licked his lips and picked up his water glass. “Now it’s too late.”

Georgeta nodded. “She wanted you to take Milena.”

Some mechanism in the swallowing process malfunctioned when his mother made the announcement. He coughed and attempted to clear his throat without causing too much of a scene. He had all but recovered when Y/N returned to the table. 

“Everything all right?” she asked, patting him a couple of times on the back. Nobody said anything. She raised her brow, waiting for Sebastian to come clean. 

Before he could answer, the sound of little feet running in their direction put a halt to the conversation. A little girl in a black dress with curly pigtails was rushing towards them, her arms outstretched. 

“Uncle Seb!” 

“Milena!” Sebastian exclaimed, stepping out of his chair and swooping the toddler up into his arms. Her chubby little hands squeezed his face so that his lips puckered like a fish. Sebastian laughed and switched his hold to balance her on his hip. “I’m so glad you’re here, munchkin. I missed you.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder and whispered, “Miss you.”

Georgeta and Anthony greeted the little girl, but she refused to be held by anyone except Sebastian. Once her grandmother and grandfather were distracted in conversation by the woman who had brought Milena to the reception, the girl pointed to Y/N. 

“Uncle Seb, who that is?” 

Sebastian smiled and sat with Milena so that she could be closer to eye level with Y/N. “This is my very good friend, Y/N. You met her before, but you were a tiny baby, so you probably don’t remember.”

Y/N smiled kindly at the little girl. “Hello, Milena. Your Uncle Seb told me you were pretty. I like your dress — you look just like a princess.”

That was all it took to win the little girl over. She settled comfortably on Seb’s lap while they adults spoke, smiling often at Y/N and asking a couple questions here and there. Y/N was making faces in an effort to make Milena laugh, and distract her from the somewhat heated conversation that seemed to be erupting between the woman who had brought Milena, Sebastian, and his parents. When the voices really got loud, Y/N reached out to take Milena. 

“Are you hungry, princess? We can see what snacks are left at the food table.”

Milena went willingly, walking hand in hand with Y/N, who winked at Sebastian over her shoulder as they walked away. He gave her a grateful smile and turned back to his parents and Milena’s paternal grandmother, Alice. 

“I know that Connor didn’t want to part of Milena’s life,” Alice was saying, “but that doesn’t mean Tim and I don’t want to be. My son’s choices are his own. I think we should explore the option of joint custody.”

Anthony sighed. “We don’t want to keep Milena from you, certainly, but Irina’s wishes were for her to be with her uncle. My daughter was very clear on the matter. Since Connor signed his rights away when the baby was born, I think it best that we honor what her mother wanted for her.”

“I can give her a very good life,” Sebastian interjected, “and you can see her whenever you like. I live right here in the city.”

Alice pursed her lips. “And when you’re working? I know you can afford to give her a good life, but there’s more to raising a child than the financial component.”

Sebastian bit his tongue. He had a lot to say, but none of it was kind or productive. None of it was going to help his case. He leaned back in his chair, letting his parents take over from there. As he glanced around the room, he saw Y/N and Milena standing by the food table. Both of them were smiling, and Milena was pointing to all the different things she wanted to try. Y/N held the plate with two hands as she crouched down so that Milena could pick up a grape in one hand and a cube of cheese in the other. Milena took a bite of the cheese then grinned up at Y/N, wrinkling her little nose. 

The scene comforted him in a way he didn’t think was possible up to that moment. As he continued to watch his best friend and his niece interact, the seed of an idea was planted in Sebastian’s mind. He immediately told himself he was being ridiculous, but the thought tugged at his heartstrings and pulled on one end of his mouth, almost evoking a smile. 

Y/N locked eyes with him as she followed Milena back to the table, a silent warning that any arguments needed to come to a stop. As the conversation between Alice and his parents didn’t seem to be slowing down, Sebastian pushed out of his chair and approached them. 

“How about I take my two favorite girls to the park across the street? I know a little girl who loves to swing,” Sebastian smiled. 

Milena clapped her sticky hands and reached for Sebastian to pick her up. He obliged, and once she had set Milena’s plate of snacks on the table, Y/N followed them out to the park. 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @hurricanerin @horsesandbandsforlife @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @captain-rogers-beard @shynara51 @sea040561 @pinknerdpanda @xtina2191 @jackryanplz @beakami @heartsaved @fullprunerebelstatesman @blackwidowismyhomegirl @averyrogers83 @jennmurawski13​

IYJR: @elsatxx​ @tanelle83​ @amanda-teaches​ @etherealwaifgoddess​ @kmuir1​ @ntlmundy​ @jayankles​ @rebekahdawkins​ @denise1605​ @rhadigen​

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realized

Part Nine: A Little Overwhelmed

Summary: The day after the wedding, Y/N has lunch with Kennedy; Sebastian and Milena have a surprise for her. Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 1910 (excluding translations) Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Sex talk between friends (nothing detailed), feels. Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo​. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Series Masterlist

“So, did you get laid last night?”

Y/N laughed at Kennedy’s wiggling eyebrows. “It’s not that kind of marriage, Ken, remember?”

She rolled her eyes. “I just figured maybe the wedding would have given you two some reason to celebrate or something. I know it’s been a while for you —”

“Hey!”

“And I don’t know about Sebastian but the guy’s been through a lot, he could stand to blow off some steam.” She took a bite of her salad. “Anyway, I really appreciate that you took time to meet me for lunch before I’m back to the West Coast. We don’t see each other nearly enough as it is, and with you in New York indefinitely …”

Y/N sighed and sipped at her iced tea. “You’ll just have to come visit when you can. I’ll do the same. Seb and I can bring Milena out —”

When she realized what she was saying, she stopped and cleared her throat. She couldn’t think of anything to cover for what she had just said, so she shoved a too-big bite of club sandwich in her mouth instead. Kennedy raised her brow and shook her head. 

“Why won’t you even admit it to me, Y/N/N? Even a little bit? You can have feelings for Seb without being full-on in love with him, you know.” 

She only shook your head. “No, it isn’t — see, honestly, I have never thought about him like that. Ever. He’s one of my best friends and I can be myself around him and count on him, and that was enough. More than enough. But then all of this started happening and he asked me to marry him and … and …”

If Kennedy’s brow went any higher, her eyebrows and her hair were going to get tangled together. “And what?”

“And last night, in the hotel room, we — it was just kissing, okay? He was just out of the shower, I needed help with my zipper. And he stopped it because he didn’t want me to think he was trying to get anything more out of this than what we’ve already established.” You drew in a slow, shaky breath. “So, if we’re just friends, why did I want it so bad? Why did I want him so bad? I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with how long it’s been, before you say anything about that.”

Kennedy giggled. “I know this has nothing to do with that. Me trying to get you to open up about what you’re feeling towards Sebastian is not some sappy romance thing because the two of you got married and are going to parent this little girl together. I want you to really understand what you’re getting into — a short-term marriage that’s going to end in an agreed-upon divorce with someone who means more to you than only being one of your best friends.”

“But it’s never been like this before.”

“Sometimes … sometimes we need a push to help us see where we’re meant to be,” Kennedy shrugged. “Is that as close to admission I’m gonna get you?”

“This trip, anyway,” Y/N smirked. “I’m still trying to process all of this, I think.”

Kennedy finished off her salad then, giving her a few minutes to think. When the waiter came, she took care of the bill. 

“Shittiest wedding present ever,” she joked, “but I also flew out here last minutes so, that counts, right?”

Y/N nodded and laughed. “Absolutely. Thank you, Kennedy. For being here and for — for everything.”

She smiled. “Anytime, friend.” 

When Y/N returned to the apartment, Milena came running towards the door, blocking Y/N from going any further than the front door. 

“Finally!” Milena screeched. 

Y/N lifted the little girl into her arms. “Finally? Have you been waiting so long for me to come home?”

Milena nodded her head and grinned. “A surprise!”

“Hey, hey, don’t be giving away our secrets,” Sebastian laughed, coming into the room. He put a hand on Milena’s back and leaned over to kiss Y/N’s forehead. “I know you just got back, but if you’re up for a little drive, we’ll leave early before we meet everyone at my parents’ house for supper.”

Y/N shrugged. “Sure, I’m okay with that. Let me touch up my face and I’ll be ready to go.”

Milena wiggled down from her hold to go and retrieve her shoes when Sebastian instructed; Y/N headed to the bathroom to touch up her makeup. She was putting more lip gloss on when Milena wandered in, shoes on her feet and a jacket added to her outfit. 

“Uncle Seb said ’s cold.”

Y/N nodded. “It’s kinda chilly — I’m going to put a jacket on, too.”

“Can I have some of that?” Milena’s finger pointed to the gloss Y/N was re-capping. 

She crouched down to Milena’s level and put the tiniest amount on the toddler’s lips. Milena sat very still while the gloss was applied and pointed to the mirror when Y/N was done. 

“Look at those pretty girls,” Sebastian smiled, leaning into the bathroom. “You ready to go?”

“I think so. How about you, princess, you ready?”

Milena nodded, then wrapped her arms around Y/N’s neck in as strong an embrace as she could manage. “Iubes.” [Te iubesc = I love you]

It wasn’t one-hundred percent correct Romanian, but the adults knew what she meant. Y/N snuggled against the toddler, meeting Sebastian’s eyes. She couldn’t read the emotions there, so she closed her eyes and answered Milena honestly. 

“Te iubesc mai malt.” [I love you more.]

The drive to their destination was mostly silent, except for a Disney soundtrack playing and Milena quietly singing along when she thought she knew the words. Y/N wanted to reach for Sebastian’s hand and hold tight, for comfort. Before, she would have done that without question. Now, after what had happened in the hotel room, she was too worried about Sebastian thinking she saw something in their relationship that wasn’t there. Instead, she kept her hands in her jacket pockets and stared out the window for most of the ride. 

“I thought we had somewhere else to go before your parents’ house?” she asked, realizing they were in the same neighborhood where Anthony and Georgeta lived. 

“We do,” Sebastian confirmed. 

He didn’t offer any more information, so she kept her further questions to herself. A couple of minutes later, they pulled into the drive of a pretty house — one Y/N didn’t recognize. Sebastian got Milena out of her seat while Y/N stepped out of the car and took a good look at the house. 

“What is this?”

Sebastian only took her hand and smiled, balancing Milena on his other hip. He walked them up to the front porch, took a key from his pocket, and let them in the front door. 

The place was large and blocked off from street view by a line of trees; the land was extensive. The construction and decor was all contemporary and well cared-for. The bedrooms were large, each had its own walk-in closet. The master bath boasted a tub she already couldn’t wait to sink into. At the back of the house, the shaded patio led to a swimming pool, and a koi pond even, beyond that. Despite the size of the house and its amenities, the place felt very homey — cozy, even. She wandered back through the slider, meeting Sebastian and Milena at the island in the middle of the kitchen. 

“I thought maybe it would be good to be close to my parents,” Sebastian began, after Y/N had a chance to see the whole house. “The schools in the area are rated well, and it’s a quiet neighborhood. We can look at something different, if you’d like. Maybe I’ll have this house longer than …” He glanced at Milena, then cleared his throat. “Anyway, I put a bid in so we wouldn’t miss out, but I wanted your input, too.”

Perhaps this wasn’t so different than when he was demanding they decide together about what custody of Milena to ask for in the court filing, but for Y/N, it did wonders for him to so simply state that he wanted her opinion on such a big decision. She took a deep breath; she could picture Milena growing older here. She could picture them having family movie nights here. She could picture Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s. Though she knew it wouldn’t ever happen, she could picture late night slow dances with Sebastian in the kitchen and changing one of the extra rooms to a nursery for a baby that would be a perfect mix of both of their features. 

Sebastian put a hand at her elbow, pulling her from her reverie. “Hey, if this is too much …”

“No, no, it’s not that, I just,” she fanned herself and chuckled lightly, “I think it’s a little warm in here, yeah?”

His concerned frown didn’t soften. “Bright Eyes?”

How did that, a nickname she had heard a million times, make her feel even more warm? “I’m okay, Seb, promise. I love the house, I really do. So much. And if you love it, since you’re the one keeping it, you should leave the bid. How’d you get the key without being the owner, by the way?”

His frown morphed into a mischievous smirk. “I have my ways. C’mon, girls — let’s get over to Bunica’s before they start to wonder where we are.”

He held Milena’s hand on one side and Y/N’s on the other. At the car, he opened Y/N’s door first, then got Milena settled back into her seat. Y/N watched the house as they drove away, indulging herself on daydreams that were likely to never come true. 

She was silent again on the way to his parents’ house, thanks to the daydreams, and was out of the car quick enough to get Milena from the backseat ahead of Sebastian. The girls headed to the porch ahead of him, but he caught up before they got too far. 

“You all right? You’ve been flushed since before we left my apartment, you’ve hardly said a word in the car …”

“I’m fine. Probably just tired from the last couple of days.”

She made to move forward with Milena again, but Sebastian caught her by the hand. Georgeta opened the front door with a smile, immediately recognized the tension between the newlyweds, and so she beckoned Milena to the house. When it was only the two of them, Sebastian raised his brow, but Y/N shook her head. 

“Hey, c’mon, talk to me,” he pleaded. “Since when do we keep things from each other?”

Y/N sighed and met his eyes again. “I’m not — I don’t want to keep things from you. I’ve just got a lot on my mind, you know? What Milena said before we left, and the house, the wedding. It’s all wonderful, but I think maybe — maybe I’m overwhelmed. I’m okay though, really.”

Sebastian pursed his lips. “If last night —”

“No, don’t even say it,” she interrupted. “I’m not going to let either of us dwell on that and make things awkward. We’ll have a good time with family this evening, I’ll get a good night’s sleep, tomorrow everything will be back to normal. I’m sure of it.”

He held up both of his little fingers. “Double pinky swear?”

She loosened up and laughed, hooking her pinkies with his. “Double pinky swear.”

“Good,” he grinned, taking her by the hand and leading her into the house. 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​ @jennmurawski13​ @connie326​

IYJR: @elsatxx​ @tanelle83​ @amanda-teaches​ @etherealwaifgoddess​ @kmuir1​ @ntlmundy​ @jayankles​ @rebekahdawkins​ @denise1605​ @rhadigen​ @peace-love-hobbitness​ @itsallyscorner​ @mizzzpink​ @auspiciousharriet​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​ @learisa​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @katherinereid​ @lokilokilokilokilokiloki​ @thewolfsenate

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize [Finale]

Part Fifteen: Watching Over Us

Summary: Irina’s letter bodes well for Sebastian and his growing family.  Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 1945 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Post-death grief/feels, custody issues, pregnancy.  Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo​​. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Also, I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it before, but a huge song inspiration for the title of this fic (and some chapter titles) is Realize by Colbie Caillat.

Thank you so much to everyone who read, reblogged, replied, allofthethings, for this fic! I’m very proud of it and have loved writing and sharing this story with you. Your support means the world! Keep your eyes open for a new series announcement coming Sunday! ;) 

Series Masterlist

Y/N — 

Well, here’s a letter I never dreamed of writing. Having Milena, though, it’s changed everything. I look at my previous little girl and I want to give her the world. I’ve brought her into a scary world, and without a father to boot. I know, though, that she will have no shortage of family, love, and opportunities. 

Thank God for my brother. Sebastian is a good man. I’m a better person for being his little sister. Being a mama on my own seems so much more possible with my family, especially him. I know that my baby girl will always have that father-figure in her life with him around. Can you just imagine him walking her down the aisle one day? She’s such a tiny thing now, but I can picture it perfectly in my head. 

Part of protecting my daughter is making sure she is taken care of in the event that something happens to me. No shortage of family and love means there will be no shortage of people taking care of her, but I want it to be Sebastian. He’s going to think I’m crazy. My parents might not even understand. But I know, with every fiber of my being, that he is the best option to raise her if I’m not around. I can’t explain it beyond that — I just know. He will get her through my absence, get her through the toughest times in life. He will give her all of the love in the world. 

Which is why I’m writing you. I’m honestly not sure who will have a harder time if something happens to me, Milena or Seb. You’re his best friend, and I can only pray that the two of you maintain that friendship — not for the benefit of this potential situation, but for his sake and yours. I can tell you now that I secretly hope the two of you will see the love you have for each other and let that come to fruition. Either way, Y/N, you have to be the one to guide him through all of this. He will be grieving, may not know the ins and outs of parenting, especially of parenting a little girl … have to admit, I’m laughing to myself thinking about him trying to do her hair or pick out outfits for her. He’ll figure it out, on his own or not, but I know the best choice for my brother, in so many ways, is you. 

I’m having all of the legal documents sent to you, as well. You’ll be in a better place to handle all of this and make sense of it to Sebastian. He’ll handle my parents, but only if he’s in a good place. Help him find that good place. Please. 

Whatever happens with the two of you … take care of each other. Take care of my little girl. Take care of Mom and Dad. I’ll be watching out for you. 

— Irina

Philip set the letter to the side. Y/N had read it aloud to Sebastian when she first opened it, and they had read it countless times together, but hearing Philip read it aloud with all four of the grandparents present made the emotion new and raw. Even Tim and Anthony were brought to tears by the words. After a box of tissues was passed around, Philip continued. 

“The legal documents sent have all been endorsed — they’re legitimate. I spoke with the lawyer Irina had draw everything up and put in charge of sending the letter and the papers out. News of her death didn’t reach him quite the way it was supposed to, which delayed everything being mailed, and then they sat in Los Angeles for a while, of course. She’s included copies of everything we need: Conor’s rights being signed away, copies of the emails they exchanged leading up to that, a last will and testament appointing complete guardianship to both Sebastian and Y/N. I know we want to avoid a hearing, so I’ll present these to the court, and we’ll go from there. I don’t see, though, with all of this, how anyone could give Conor any part in custody of Milena, including visitations.”

Alice sniffled. “We have told Conor that we won’t take part in his case. We love our son, but he has to face the consequences of his initial decision.”

Sebastian nodded his gratitude. “We’d like to make sure all of the grandparents are included on visitations in the final papers, but Y/N and I want to adopt her. We want to make her officially ours.”

“And everyone is in support of that?” Philip asked. 

All four grandparents nodded their agreement, with enthusiasm and without hesitation. Philip explained the process going forward, promised to do his best to keep it out of the courtroom, and sent them on their way. 

The remaining days that Milena was with Conor, Y/N and Sebastian worked to put the final details of her birthday party together. They visited the breeder and put a deposit on a puppy they could pick up on Milena’s birthday to surprise her with at her party. Y/N washed her bedding and found a couple more things to decorate with, and Sebastian worked on putting together the swings they had invested in but hadn’t gotten to setting up yet. 

After that, there was nothing left to do but wait. With thirty-six hours to go, they decided it was okay to go out for a date night. They hadn’t been able to since they had opened up about their feelings and decided to make a real go of things, so they took the opportunity and went to dinner and a movie. 

“I had a good time tonight,” Y/N said, leaning on his shoulder while they waited for the movie to start. 

Sebastian smiled and kissed her forehead. “We’re only halfway through the evening, Bright Eyes.”

She shrugged. “I know, but I’m with you. That’s all I need.”

“Me too,” he agreed, hooking a finger under her chin to bring her lips to his as the lights in the theater began to dim. 

By the time Milena’s birthday came around, life had fallen into a pleasant routine. The adoption wouldn’t be final for a couple of months, but that was more to do with court timelines than anything; one week with a little girl processing her mother’s death and a lot of other changes in a short time had been enough for Conor to know that parenting was not something he could handle. He dropped his end of the custody battle a couple of days later, allowing the family to move forward with their lives unhindered. 

Milena’s night terrors continued, but were becoming less and less frequent. She was still seeing the psychologist once a week, and that seemed to be helping. She had even had an overnight with Georgeta and Anthony without any mishaps. 

Sebastian left around lunchtime to go pick up Milena’s puppy, leaving the girls home to put the finishing touches on party decorations and make sure everything else was in order. Milena was in her birthday outfit, her hair was secured in a cute, curly ponytail, and she was jumping around like she’d already eaten an entire pan of cupcakes. 

“Is it time yet, tanti?” she asked Y/N for the millionth time that day. [Tanti = Auntie]

Y/N chuckled and scooped Milena up in her arms. “Not yet, princess. Very soon, though.”

Milena groaned. “Can I call Gramma Alice and Bunica and ask when they’re coming?”

“You can call Gramma and Grampa,” Y/N offered, dialing the number and putting it on speaker before handing the phone to the now-three-year-old. 

Thirty minutes later, all of the grandparents had arrived. They grinned at the little girl dancing around and showing them everything that was set up for the party. While Milena was kept busy, Y/N checked her watch and realized Sebastian should have been back by now. Frowning, she found her phone and stepped outside to call him. 

“I’m just pulling up to the house, babe,” he answered. 

She looked up and spotted him, so she smiled and waved. She waited there, anxious to get her hands on that puppy. 

“Two puppies?” she exclaimed when Sebastian approached with a puppy in each hand. He carefully handed her a black and tan one, its little tail wagging faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

Sebastian kissed her hello, then stepped back. “I saw how you were eyeing that one when we put the down payment on Milena’s puppy. No reason both of my girls shouldn’t have a puppy.” 

Y/N held the little creature close, tears welling in her eyes. “She’s so precious!”

“Why are you crying?” Sebastian chuckled, pulling her to his chest and kissing her again. “I didn’t know you’d be this excited!”

“I am excited,” she sniffled, “but it could also be the baby.”

Sebastian nodded, then his eyes went wide. “Baby?”

Y/N giggled through her tears. “I was gonna wait to tell you — found out at my doctor’s appointment the other day. I wasn’t expecting it at all, since it was just a yearly check-up, but since you and I haven’t been preventing anything, they wanted a test and it came back positive. I was going to wait to get through the party before I told you …”

Sebastian set down the puppy that was in his arms and grabbed up his wife, tears flooding his own eyes now. “I can’t believe this — I can’t … I can’t form words.”

Y/N grinned and wrapped her free arm around his neck. “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

He shook his head, taking her face in his hands. “From the moment I realized how long I’ve been in love with you, I knew we had a lot of time to make up for. I’d say we’re right on track.”

“Me too,” she grinned. “Let’s not tell everyone yet though, okay? One shock at a time.”

Sebastian nodded his agreement and looked around for the puppy he had set down. He was just corralling the little thing when Milena came out to the porch and saw what her Uncle Seb had brought home. 

“Puppies!” she squealed clapping her hands and running toward Sebastian. “Can we keep them?”

“This one is yours,” Sebastian told her, handing the puppy over and guiding her on how to hold it safely. “Happy birthday, munchkin!”

“Thank you!” Milena said before peppering the puppy with kisses and then asking if she could go inside and show her grandparents. 

Y/N opened the door with her free hand. “Let’s go!”

Sebastian took the door from her, allowing both girls to go in and show off their new pets. He stood back and let them have their moment. Watching his parents, his wife, his niece, and Alice and Tim, Sebastian felt a moment of sadness. His sister should have been here for all of this. He would always miss her, but the pain of it was still too fresh. 

Seeing that Sebastian’s smile had fallen some, Y/N stepped in front of him and wrapped her arms around his middle. He hugged her back. 

“She’s watching over us,” Y/N reminded him. “She said so herself.”

He leaned to kiss her. He knew that Y/N was right — after all, he was married to his best friend, would be able to raise his niece the way his sister would have wanted, and had a baby on the way. Without his sister watching over them, he wasn’t so sure all of this wouldn’t have passed him by. 

“She did,” Sebastian grinned, “and I’d say today is perfect proof of that.” 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​ @jennmurawski13​ @connie326​ @auriandthepussicats​

IYJR: @elsatxx​ @tanelle83​ @amanda-teaches​ @etherealwaifgoddess​ @kmuir1​ @ntlmundy​ @jayankles​ @rebekahdawkins​ @denise1605​ @rhadigen​ @peace-love-hobbitness​ @itsallyscorner​ @mizzzpink​ @auspiciousharriet​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​ @learisa​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @katherinereid​ @lokilokilokilokilokiloki​ @itsmycorneroftheinternet​ @andreagf956​ @voltage-my2dlove​

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize

Part Thirteen: Keep It Together

Summary: More changes come for Sebastian and his girls.  Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 2405 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Implied smut, child custody issues.   Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Also, I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it before, but a huge song inspiration for the title of this fic (and some chapter titles) is Realize by Colbie Caillat.

Series Masterlist

The car ride to the Hills’ house was tense; with an important, unfinished conversation behind them and another unknown in front of them, both Sebastian and Y/N were on the defensive. So much had happened in such a short time, they both felt as though it was only a matter of who would break first. 

“That car wasn’t here when we dropped her off,” Y/N noted, getting out of the car. She met Sebastian at the front and held tight to his hand — more for her own comfort, she had to admit, than for his. 

He said nothing, only walked with her up to the front door and rang the bell. Alice was there before the chimes finished, concern etched into her features. 

“I didn’t know,” was the first thing she said, welcoming them in, but no further than the foyer. “I’m so sorry — Conor stopped by unexpectedly. Tim tried to just visit with him here on the porch, but his thinking still isn’t so quick and when Conor asked what I was doing …”

“And Conor wanted to see her,” Sebastian surmised. “Is he with her now?”

Alice nodded. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell him no without upsetting the whole situation and Tim and Milena.”

“It’s not your fault — what else were you supposed to do?” Sebastian squeezed her shoulder. “Where are they now?”

“In the den, watching cartoons.”

Sebastian dropped Y/N’s hand and stalked towards the den. She and Alice were hot on his heels though, concern and fear racing through them at the stern set of Sebastian’s jaw and the dark shade of blue his eyes had taken on. 

In the den, Milena was curled up in Tim’s lap, watching cartoons. She was stealing glances at Conor, as though waiting for him to make any kind of sudden movement. Sebastian stopped at the entryway and took a deep breath to calm his demeanor before Milena saw him. 

“Hey, munchkin,” he greeted with a smile. “Ready to go home?”

Y/N breathed a momentary sigh of relief when she reached Sebastian’s side and saw the smile on his face; even if it was only for Milena’s benefit, it eased her nerves, too. 

“Uncle Seb!” Milena exclaimed, scrambling down from Tim’s lap and racing toward her uncle. She wrapped her arms around his legs and looked up at Y/N. “We going home now?”

Y/N picked her up and nodded. “Yes, princess, we’re going home. Where are your shoes?”

“I have them in my room,” Alice answered. “Come on, Milena, let’s show Y/N where they are.”

The women left the room, and only then did Conor rise from the couch to shake hands with Sebastian. The latter man returned to his closed off, cold expression. 

“I’ll leave you gentlemen to talk,” Tim excused himself. Conor helped his dad up from the chair, and then Tim was out of the room, leaning on the walker for support. 

Sebastian kept his eyes on Conor the whole time. “You cannot be around her. If I have to have that put in the court papers too, I will. I know you’ve hit some low points, but putting your parents in this situation? Especially after everything they’ve been dealing with since your dad’s stroke?”

“She’s my daughter,” Conor returned. 

“Not according to the papers you signed saying you didn’t want her,” Sebastian reminded. “She’s ours. Y/N and I will raise her, my parents and your parents will help and will see her as often as they’d like. You will never be a part of that.”

Sebastian turned to go, but Conor grabbed for his arm. Sebastian turned back, looked down at the grip on his arm, then back at Conor. That man put his hands up in surrender and took a step back. 

“I’m sorry, but this conversation isn’t over,” Conor explained. “I was wrong to sign my rights away. I’ve seen her grow up through pictures up until now, but Irina would never hear of anything different.”

“And why should she have?” Sebastian countered. “You didn’t want Milena! You made that clear months before she was even born.  I was there. My parents, your parents were there. My wife has been there more for Milena since Irina died than you have in her entire life. Where have you been when she cries for Irina? Where have you been when her tummy aches for no reason at all? Where have you been when she’s crying and screaming for hours at night? Nowhere. You haven’t been around at all. Now you see her for the first time in her life and you think you want things to change? You have no idea who Milena is, what her needs are.” He shook his head. “You can say whatever you want, man, but I’m not going to up-end her world any more than what’s already been done out of my control.”

Conor set his jaw. “We’ll see what the courts have to say about that.”

Sebastian snorted. “Yeah, go ahead and get the courts involved. You’re not going to win. Milena is ours, Conor. She will never be yours.”

With that, Sebastian picked up Milena’s jacket from the back of the couch and went in search of his wife and niece. 

“How many days till my bir’day?” 

Sebastian smiled and mentally counted the days. “Let’s see, we just finished Halloween, you birthday is the first day of December … about twenty-seven.”

“That’s so many,” Milena whined. 

Y/N smiled from the counter where she was kneading bread dough. Sebastian and Milena were ‘helping’ from the other side of the island — which really meant Milena was playing with Play-Doh and Sebastian was supervising to see that none of the play stuff got in with the actual dough. 

“It’ll be here before you know it,” Y/N assured, measuring out some cinnamon and sugar to fold into the dough. “What kind of party should we have? Oh, let me guess — princesses!”

But Milena wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “No! I want puppies!”

The adults laughed at the squeal of excitement that followed the mention of puppies. A shared glance when Milena went back to her Play-Doh told Y/N that Sebastian was thinking exactly the same as she was: it was time to talk about getting a pet in the house. 

“I mean, we have all this land,” Sebastian began after putting Milena down for an afternoon nap, “seems silly not to have some little creature running around to keep Milena busy.”

“Little creature,” Y/N chuckled, setting the timer for the bread to bake. “Well, we can start looking, but if we want it for her birthday, we shouldn’t look for too long. I’ll get with your mom and Alice and see what we can all put together. Not that you and Tim wouldn’t wanna help but …”

“But it’s probably better we don’t,” he laughed. “I get it.”

She flashed him a winning smile before going to the sink to work on the dishes and Sebastian’s heart beat faster. Since the day Conor had shown up, they hadn’t resumed their conversation, having agreed there was too much going on at the moment to deal with anything else. Milena needed stability and calm, and they couldn’t offer that to her with Conor’s legal threats, the night terrors, and grieving her mother already on their plates. 

Today, however, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. The house was warm and smelled of autumn, thanks to the candles Y/N had lit throughout the place. With his two girls there in good spirits, he finally felt like the place was home. She was singing along softly to the music playing from her phone as she rinsed out the dishes and loaded the washer. Her oversized sweatshirt — one he was sure had actually come from his collection — with the sleeves rolled up and her form-fitting cotton leggings had his eye all day as possibly the most adorable outfit he had ever seen her wear. It seemed a shame that he hadn’t kissed her in so many days. 

She drew in a sharp breath when his hands landed on her shoulders, then giggled when she realized he was behind her. His lips pressed to the top of her head; she leaned back into him. 

“You smell extra good today,” she told him softly. 

Sebastian smiled. “I’m glad you think so. I know we have a lot of things unfinished and undecided between us, Y/N/N, but today feels so much like home. You are home to me. You’ll have to forgive me if I needed to be a little closer to you for it.”

Turning in his arms, Y/N shook her head. “Nothing to forgive.”

He smiled and dipped his head down to kiss her. Shivers raced over his spine when her hands, chilly from rinsing dishes, brushed over the back of his neck. She responded to his kiss eagerly, making Sebastian wish he had pushed closer to her sooner. As the kiss continued, he lifted her onto the counter and pushed between her legs so that he could be as close to her as possible. 

“I suppose,” Y/N told him between kisses, “there is one piece of unfinished business we could get on with — at least one.”

Sebastian raised a brow. “At least one?”

She nodded then returned to their kiss. Sebastian picked her up and carried her bridal style to their bedroom. He was sure of one thing they could finish, but what else was there? It had him slightly distracted as he moved over her on the bed. His kisses softened as he settled on top of her, balancing his weight on his elbows. 

“You’re sure about this? There’s more discussion for us to have, you know,” Sebastian reminded her in almost a whisper. 

Y/N drew in a deep breath and caressed his face. “I love you, Sebastian. I want this life with you. Do you think you want this life with me?”

“No,” he answered, pushing her hair away from her face, “I know that I want this life with you. I love you, Bright Eyes.”

Her grin was as big as he had ever seen it. He leaned to kiss her again, his hand going under that oversized sweatshirt, his heart reveling in the certainty of their love for one another. 

The blow came a few days later. Philip called so early in the morning, Milena was still asleep, and Y/N and Sebastian were only awake because she had a flight to Los Angeles for a talk show interview the next day. 

“I almost forgot in all of this that I am actually an actress,” she chuckled over her coffee. 

Sebastian smiled back at her, his heart not yet ready to let her be across the country, even it was only for a quick trip. “Too bad we can’t stay inside our cozy little bubble here.”

“Mmm, agreed.”

The phone rang then; Sebastian frowned at Philip’s name on the caller ID at that hour. He slid his thumb across the screen and answered with measured concern in his voice. 

“You’re on speaker, Y/N is here with me,” he added, pressing the appropriate option on the screen. 

“Good morning,” Philip sighed, “and also my apologies for starting your day this way. I don’t know how he managed it, but Conor has gotten a judge to rule for him to a mandated week with Milena in his care, to see how things go.”

“He can’t do that! He signed his rights away!” Y/N exclaimed. Tears immediately filled her eyes. 

Philip sighed. “I know that, but this is complex situation. He’s her biological parent, her mother has passed away. I’ve never dealt with this judge before, but apparently she’s got a soft spot for fathers who are doing their best to be fathers.”

Y/N opened her mouth again, but Sebastian stopped her. “What does this mean?”

“Child and Family Services will be coming to get her later this morning. Pack her enough for a couple of days, but Conor has been told he needs to provide for her during this week, as well. Apparently he’s got a live-in girlfriend who he’s been with for a while, and she’ll be there to help him.” 

Sebastian was near speechless. “We can’t fight this?”

“It all happened really quickly — I wasn’t even notified until it was on paper and signed off, or bet your ass I would have fought it. I know before I said we wouldn’t need it, but it would have been much better at this point to have Irina’s wishes on paper.” He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, I know that’s not helpful. The best I can tell you right now is prepare Milena for what’s going to happen. Tell her it isn’t permanent as far as you know, tell her that you’re going to bring her back home just as soon as you can, but also don’t speak poorly of Conor. After a week, CFS will bring her back to you.”

“I’ve got to cancel my flight,” Y/N said, already on her own phone to call her assistant. Sebastian gently took the device from her, motioning for her to wait. 

“All right, Phil, thanks for letting us know. If anything else comes up — just let us know what we can do to keep her.”

Philip promised that he would, then the men disconnected the call. Sebastian turned to Y/N. 

“I don’t want you canceling that interview,” he told her. “As much as I know you want to be here, I’m not ready for the media to get a hold of this. As soon as you cancel something, they’re going to start speculating and digging. I can’t have that, not yet. You can’t help here, anyway.”

She sniffled. “But I want to be here for you.”

“I know, and I do want you here with me, but to protect ourselves and our privacy for right now, we’re going to have to support each other from a distance for a couple of days.” He kissed her head. “Besides, if they go to Conor, I get the feeling the pseudo-fame will only fuel his purpose.”

Y/N stood to wrap her arms around his neck. Sebastian held her just as tight, praying as they held each other that the little family they were working so hard to stabilized wouldn’t be permanently torn apart by this development. 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @hurricanerin @horsesandbandsforlife @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @shynara51 @sea040561 @pinknerdpanda @xtina2191 @jackryanplz @beakami @heartsaved @fullprunerebelstatesman @blackwidowismyhomegirl @averyrogers83 @jennmurawski13 @connie326

IYJR: @elsatxx @tanelle83 @amanda-teaches @etherealwaifgoddess @kmuir1 @ntlmundy @jayankles @rebekahdawkins @denise1605 @rhadigen @peace-love-hobbitness @itsallyscorner @mizzzpink @auspiciousharriet @the-murder-strut-murdered-me @learisa @tellmewhatyouwill @katherinereid @lokilokilokilokilokiloki @auriandthepussicats @tellmewhatyouwill @itsmycorneroftheinternet @andreagf956​ @voltage-my2dlove​

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize

Part Eleven: Time to Realize

Summary: New hope is sparked for Sebastian and Y/N after their date.  Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 2360 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Night terrors, almost smut (is that a warning?).  Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Also, I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it before, but a huge song inspiration for the title of this fic (and some chapter titles) is Realize by Colbie Caillat. 

Series Masterlist

Image found via Google Image Search. 

When Milena woke from her nap, Sebastian informed her that she would be going to her grandparents’ house for the evening while Sebastian and Y/N went out for a little while. 

As she ate her snack of grapes and crackers, Milena frowned. “You’ll come get me later?”

Sebastian nodded. “I promise, we’ll come get you later. Unless you want to sleep at Bunica’s house?”

The little girl shook her head adamantly. “No, here! In my room!”

“In your room it is, then,” Y/N assured, kissing the top of Milena’s head. “We’ll try to hurry so that we get you before you go to sleep, but even if you fall asleep over there, you’ll wake up over here. Okay?”

Milena seemed to be appeased for the time being; she nodded and went back to her snack. Sebastian and Y/N exchanged a worried glance. Though they had an appointment the next week with the child psychologist, the terrors had seemed to be a thing of the past. 

“When you’re done with your snack, why don’t you go fill up your backpack with the things you want to take over there?” Sebastian suggested. 

She finished her snack quickly after that, then raced to her room to get her things together. 

“Do you want me to take her over there? Or go with you?” Y/N offered. 

Sebastian shook his head. “No, it’s okay, I’ll take her. I don’t mind — I’m going to see if Mom will take her earlier so we can get to dinner earlier and get back to pick her up. I don’t want to trigger another terror.”

She took his hand and squeezed. “We can pick another night, if you want?”

“No, I want us to do this, I don’t want to put it off.”

“Okay. I’m going to go make sure she’s not packing her entire room. Why don’t you call your mom and see when she’s okay with Milena coming over, call the restaurant to make sure we can get a table when we need.”

Sebastian grinned. “I will do all of that, yes.”

Y/N frowned. “Why are you grinning like that?”

“You sound like such a … wife and mom. In a good way, Y/N/N.”

She scowled at him for a moment, but a shy smile soon broke through. She swatted at him for his teasing, but he caught her arm and reached to tickle her side. Y/N shrieked and scrambled to get away, but he held tight and pulled her against his chest. His arms went around her shoulders and hers instinctively wrapped around his middle. Their laughter died down as they both realized this embrace was no friendly, playful hug; there was far more between them than friends and convenient spouses. 

Y/N cleared her throat and pulled away from him. “I’m going to check on her, you make those calls.”

Sebastian nodded. He watched her go and wondered if he would ever have the courage to tell her how much he cared for her, without worrying about risking their friendship. 

As Y/N padded toward Milena’s room, goosebumps rose over her skin. She had been so warm in Sebastian’s arms. He had been clear, though, that he didn’t want to lose the friendship between them, and she wouldn't allow her own feelings to overshadow what he needed just then.

The drop-off went better than they expected, so Y/N and Sebastian felt much lighter as they headed to dinner. Thanks to a reservation, their table was ready when they arrived. 

“You look amazing,” Sebastian smiled over the table at her. “New dress?”

Y/N nodded, blushing. “Sort of. Had it for a while, haven’t had the chance to wear it yet. This seemed like as good an occasion as any. Thank you, for suggesting we do this.”

“Of course. I love having Milena around, but a little one-on-one time is always appreciated. What looks good on the menu?”

They mulled over their options for a few minutes before they both decided. The waiter brought back their requested bottle of wine, took their food order, then left the table. Sebastian poured wine for both of them, then held his glass up in the form of a toast. 

“To us,” he smiled, “and making this crazy life work for us.”

“To us,” she returned, clinking her glass gently against his before sipping at her wine. “Mmm, that’s good.”

Sebastian nodded his agreement. “I noticed the boxes from Los Angeles seem to be slowing down.”

“Yes, thank goodness. I didn’t realize how much stuff I had! My assistant got rid of a lot for me, if you can believe that.” She chuckled and blushed a little. “Her new task is going through my mail and sending what didn’t get forwarded that may be important. That should be about it. The landlord is doing the walk through early next week, and that’ll be that.”

“You’re not keeping your place there?”

She shrugged, nervously fiddling with the linen tablecloth. “My lease was up there in a couple of months and I figure if-slash-when I move back, I’ll maybe look at buying a house or getting into a different building.”

“If?”

She cleared her throat. “Well, you know, even after all of this, I want to stay close for Milena. And it’s not like you and I are only going to be friends until this is over. We’re always going to be friends, Seb. You said yourself, you don’t want to lose us, and I don’t either.”

They were both quiet after that. Y/N realized how desperately she wanted him to make some sort of remark that yes, they would always be friends, but that there was potential for more — not even potential for more, but just plain more. That this wasn’t going to end. That she didn’t need her place in Los Angeles because her home was here, with Sebastian and Milena. 

“Did I lose you?”

She snapped back to the present, chuckling an apology. “Lost in thought, I suppose. Less talk about me, more about you. How are you doing with all of this? It’s been a lot of change in a short time.”

Sebastian sipped his wine. “I’m getting through. It seems surreal a lot of the time. Milena asked when Irina was coming to get her, you know, and I realized that I’ve subconsciously been waiting for that, too. I have so much good right in front of me — Mom, Anthony, you, Milena, the new house. Life is moving on, but it’s so … so … absurd, honestly, that it’s moving on without Irina.”

“That’s understandable. You both were a big part of each other’s lives. For whatever it’s worth, I think she would be really proud of the way you’re handling this — of everything you’ve already done for Milena.”

“I couldn’t have done any of it without you here,” he said, reaching across the table to take her hand. 

She held tight, but shrugged. “You would have figured it out, you know. I may have helped, but you would do anything for that little girl and for your sister. A person would be a fool not to see that.”

“I just …” Sebastian breathed in deep and let it out, his hand still holding tight to hers. “I don’t know really what I’m trying to say, maybe. You’ve always been my friend, someone I could count on without a doubt. But the way you’ve stepped up here — I won’t keep repeating thanks I’ve already offered. You go and talk about staying here with us though, and it gives me new gratitude. New hope, too.”

New hope. Y/N looked into his eyes, releasing his hand so the waiter could set their plates in front of them, and saw that the hope Sebastian was referring to was quite possibly the same hope she was holding onto that the love she felt for him may one day be mutual. 

As promised, Sebastian and Y/N picked Milena up from her grandparents’ house before she was asleep. Georgeta smiled and opened the door for the couple, welcoming them into the house. 

“She’s been yawning for an hour,” the grandmother sighed, “but she refused to lay down, even to watch cartoons or something. She just kept saying, ‘Uncle Seb will come, then I can sleep.’”

Sebastian sighed. The counseling appointment couldn’t come soon enough. In the meantime, he would do the only thing he could do: love that little girl more than ever, make sure she felt safe, and tell her as often as possible that as much as he could help it, he would never abandon her. 

“Are you so tired?” Y/N cooed, carrying Milena into the house. 

Milena nodded against her shoulder. “Do I have to take a bath?”

“We can do that in the morning,” Sebastian offered. “How about you and Y/N go pick out some jammies and I’ll be in soon with your water cup, okay?”

Another nod. Sebastian headed to the kitchen to fill a sippy cup with water — something Irina had actually started, to avoid Milena getting out of bed at all hours — then headed to join them in Milena’s room. 

She was already changed into one of her favorite nightgowns, and Y/N was brushing her hair before fixing it into a short, loose braid. Sebastian carried Milena to the bathroom, insisting that she at least brush her teeth before bed. The little girl whimpered but did as she was told. 

Once she was finally tucked in, Sebastian reminded her that her cup was on the nightstand, kissed her forehead, hugged her tight, and told her to sleep good. 

“Y/N, will you read me a story?”

Y/N nodded. “Okay, but I get to pick out which one.”

She traded a glance with Sebastian, who winked at her before leaving to his own bedroom to change out of his dinner clothes. Maybe he would see if Y/N was up for a movie and some popcorn — it was relatively early, after all. 

Only a few minutes later, she joined him in the bedroom, kicking off her shoes at the door. 

“We didn’t make it halfway through the story and she was out,” Y/N smiled, “doing that soft little snore she does. Too cute.”

Sebastian grinned and sat at the food of their bed. “Yeah, I know that sound. Most perfect snore I’ve ever heard.”

“Agreed,” she smiled softly, leaning against the doorway. 

He met her eyes; the look there wasn’t evoked from Milena’s snoring, he was certain. He drew his bottom lip under his tongue and tilted his head. Y/N’s smile faded, but her eyes stayed bright; God, he had always loved that about her. Obviously, since he had dubbed her nickname from the trait. 

In unison and still without speaking, she pushed away from the doorframe and he stood from the bed. They met in the middle, standing without touching for only a few seconds before Sebastian pulled her arms around him, then gently pushed his fingers into her hair, using the movement to tilt her head up towards him so that he could press his lips to hers, soft but urgent. 

She pressed into him, her fingers grasping the cotton t-shirt he had just put on. Sebastian kept his hands in her hair, tugging only slightly at the root. A sharp gasp pulled her mouth away from his, and Sebastian could only smile against her lips. 

“So maybe I’m not the only one who’s hopeful,” he commented. His voice was low and gravelly; his desire to have her was taking over his entire body. 

Y/N shook her head. “Definitely not the only one.”

His smile returned, and so did hers. With a new rush of hope and desire, Sebastian reached just far enough under the hem of her dress to grip the back of her thighs. He picked her up off the floor, still kissing her, and gently set her on the bed. 

She scooted back to the pillows, waiting for him to discard his shirt before he knelt onto the mattress. He took in the sight of her, waiting for him to make the next move. He knew the nervous chewing of her bottom lip, the excited half-grin that produced a dimple at the top of her cheek. That look of love and desire wasn’t new, but it wasn’t something he had ever imagined would be directed at him. Wasn’t something he had ever wished was directed at him, honestly, until their wedding night. 

“You okay?” Sebastian whispered, reaching for her hand and pulling her into his lap. 

She nodded, kissing him softly. “Nervous. But good nervous.”

“Just tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

“I trust you,” she assured, softly kissing his bottom lip. 

Sebastian pressed his lips firmly to hers. She reacted in kind, nipping at his bottom lip before returning to the kiss. Y/N pushed herself further into his lap so their bodies were flush against each other; the resulting friction tightened his pants and drew a soft moan from her lips. He broke the kiss to put his hands on her thighs and slowly begin pushing the skirt of her dress further up. 

“May I?” he chuckled. 

She grinned and nodded, claiming his lips again. Sebastian’s hands rested at her hips, his fingers splaying over the back of her lace panties. 

A scream broke through the otherwise quiet house. They pushed away from each other in an instant and scrambled off the bed. Sebastian reached for his discarded shirt and pulled it over his head. 

“I’ll get her, you can change if you want,” Sebastian offered, walking a few steps backwards before she could catch up with him. 

Y/N sighed and turned back to the bedroom, already working the dress over her head. Milena’s cries grew louder, even after Y/N could heard Sebastian trying to soothe his niece. With a million and one thoughts in her head, she discarded her dress and her undergarments, quickly exchanging them for a cotton nightgown and fresh underwear. Knowing how the night terrors usually went, she decided to wash her face and brush her teeth, then padded through the house to join Sebastian and Milena. 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​ @jennmurawski13​ @connie326​

IYJR: @elsatxx​ @tanelle83​ @amanda-teaches​ @etherealwaifgoddess​ @kmuir1​ @ntlmundy​ @jayankles​ @rebekahdawkins​ @denise1605​ @rhadigen​ @peace-love-hobbitness​ @itsallyscorner​ @mizzzpink​ @auspiciousharriet​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​ @learisa​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @katherinereid​ @lokilokilokilokilokiloki​ @auriandthepussicats​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @itsmycorneroftheinternet​

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize

Part Fourteen: Turning of the Tide

Summary: More changes come for Sebastian and his girls. Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 1915 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Child custody issues, feels.    Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo​. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Also, I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it before, but a huge song inspiration for the title of this fic (and some chapter titles) is Realize by Colbie Caillat.

Series Masterlist

Picture Credit

Sebastian deeply regretted sending Y/N to Los Angeles when the kind lady from the court came to get Milena to take her to Conor’s house. She wasn’t allowed to tell Sebastian much, but anything he needed to know, he figured he could learn from Alice and Tim anyway. 

Letting Milena go was torturous. She was trying her best not to cry, even as tears were rolling down her chubby cheeks. Sebastian squeezed her tight and made promises in Romanian so that the court lady couldn’t be held responsible for reporting back what he had said, and, honestly, to have that privacy with his niece. 

He went back into the house, immediately cursing the silence and wishing they would have seen this coming before they bought the place. If things didn’t work out with Y/N and Milena was taken away, what was the point of having all that space to himself?

Realizing Georgeta and Anthony had no idea what was going on, Sebastian called and explained as best he could. Georgeta was upset, and Anthony seemed to be too, but was holding it together for his wife. Sebastian promised to keep them updated, then disconnected the call. 

But only another thirty minutes passed before he was packing a weekend bag and driving over to his parents’ house. He knocked on the door when he arrived, his chin already quivering. Like a little boy, when his mother answered the door, he broke down in tears. The weight of the world was once again upon his shoulders but Sebastian didn’t know if he could hold it together this time. 

Y/N’s assistant met her in the lobby of the hotel that would be her home for the weekend. Once she was checked in, the two girls went up to the room and checked off a few boxes for business purposes before Y/N snapped her fingers. 

“I’ve got to tell Kennedy I’m in town. I’ll call her here soon. Do I need to take care of anything with the apartment?”

The younger girl shook her head. “It’s all done and taken care of; I turned your key in a couple of weeks ago. Oh, I have one more envelope of mail for you to go through — there’s some important looking stuff on the top. I don’t know if it’s maybe the final of the pre-nup or anything.”

Y/N shook her head. “No, those went to Seb’s place in New York. I’ll look at that mail soon — what time am I supposed to be ready for the interview tomorrow?”

“The car will pick you up around three, hair and makeup will be there for you. Just have to bring what you want to wear. I’ll be here by two-thirty, if not before.”

“Great, thanks, so much.”

They hugged before the assistant was on her way and Y/N was left to her own devices for the day. She called Sebastian, who informed her that Milena had been picked up to go to Conor’s, and he was staying with his parents until Y/N returned. 

“I should have stayed. I know it’s important for privacy purposes for me to be here, but I miss you already. Thank goodness your parents are close so you’re not alone.”

“Not the same as having you here,” Sebastian sighed. “I thought about coming out to Los Angeles, but I want to be close by in case something changes — even if that’s unlikely.”

Y/N shrugged. “I get it. I���ll be on the first flight out, day after tomorrow. I can take a cab home.”

“I’ll come get you. I want to come get you.” 

She smiled, despite the circumstances. “Let me know what happens, okay? If anything. I can’t wait to come home to you.”

“Can’t wait to have you home, Bright Eyes. I love you.”

“I love you more,” she returned. 

They talked for a while longer before disconnecting the call. Kennedy was Y/N’s next call, but that girl was filming on location, so meeting up wasn’t going to be an option. Shrugging and figuring she wouldn’t be too fun to hang out with at the moment anyway, Y/N crawled under the covers of the hotel bed and fell into a restless sleep. 

After hearing that the interview had been pleasant — and that she could honestly and enthusiastically speak to how in love with Sebastian she was and how happy their marriage had been so far — Sebastian became even more anxious to have her home. Her assistant had finagled a red-eye flight home after the taping, which meant that Y/N was coming home at four in the morning, but Sebastian didn’t much care. His wife was home and he felt so much less alone. 

She was still in her outfit from the taping when he met her on the arrivals sidewalk at LaGuardia. She raced into his arms, kissed him fiercely, then begged him to get her home. 

“I only want us to be together, in our home, waiting for Milena to come back.”

Sebastian took her hand and her rolling carry-on, leading both of them back to the car. The ride was silent, and she pulled her own suitcase up to the house when they arrived, then immediately got in the shower. She had been so excited to see him at first, but had quickly distanced. Sebastian wasn’t sure what had happened, but he wasn’t about to wait to ask her about it. 

He stripped down to nothing, tossed his clothes in the hamper, and went to join her in the shower. She smiled at his presence but then turned her face back toward the water. 

Sebastian leaned against her, using his hand on the wall to balance himself. He pushed the hair away from her neck, kissing the bare skin. 

“Talk to me,” he prompted. 

She turned a little so her face was out of the water. “About what?”

He gave her a look. “Y/N. I know you — remember that we were friends a long time before we were married. Before I realized that I love you.”

“Are you sure you love me?”

Sebastian frowned and gripped her upper arms gently, turning her to face him. “Yes, I love you. I’m in love with you. What could make you unsure?”

“It’s just — I know you needed me back here to support you with everything going on, but I was suddenly worried that with Milena not around, you would realize you only needed me as a friend. That you’re not truly in love with me.”

He let out a breath. “Let’s finish this shower, and then we’ll talk, okay?”

She nodded and reached for her shampoo; Sebastian took it from her, lathering up her locks before rinsing it out for her. He reached for the conditioner next. She soaped up her own body and rinsed off, then excused herself while he finished the shower on his own. 

When he came out from the bathroom, she was on her side of the bed in the same sweatshirt she had been wearing the day she told him she loved him for the first time. Her wet hair was swept to one side, and she was leaned against the headboard, waiting for him to come out. He pulled on clean boxers and sweats, then climbed onto the bed next to her. 

“Your hands are cold,” he whispered, taking them to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles. “Y/N, listen to me. My love for you is not conditional on Milena being in our lives or even us being married or anything else. I should have seen it a long time ago — maybe one of all of those times that my mother was telling me I should marry you.” He smiled when that actually drew a giggle from her lips. “I want you as my wife. I want you to be the mother figure Milena needs, and I want to have a million more kids with you.”

“A million?” 

He laughed. “Okay, maybe two or three more. I want to grow old with you growing old with me. There’s nothing in this life that I will do or want to do that I don’t want you there for. I love you, Y/N, unconditionally.”

“I want all of that, too,” she whispered, wiping happy tears away. “I know that was the last discussion we never really got to have, but I was so afraid that my feelings were deeper than yours, and then this … it’s been an intense few months.”

Sebastian nodded. “That it has. No more pulling away from me, okay? And I promise not to pull away from you. We’re in this, together. Forever.”

“Forever,” Y/N repeated, pulling him towards her so she could plant a sweet kiss on his lips — although the interaction didn’t stop at a simple kiss. 

The packet of mail her assistant had given her in Los Angeles was spread out on the kitchen island, and Y/N was singing along softly to music as she went through all of it. Some of it could be thrown out, some she still wanted to look at, so she decided it was better to eliminate what she didn’t need to open before starting the review process. 

“What about a Boston Terrier?” Sebastian suggested, scrolling through the internet on his laptop across from her. 

Y/N wrinkled her nose. “They’re so cute but my sister-in-law has one and the smells that come of out of that thing’s butt — I’m gonna have to vote no on that one.”

He chuckled and ceded to her denial. As she started opening envelopes, he called out a few other breeds. 

“There’s not a whole lot of options for dogs that travel well and are good with toddlers and have puppies that will be ready by her birthday,” Sebastian said. “You may have to reconsider the retriever options. Oh, wait — miniature dachshund?”

“A little weenie dog?” Y/N giggled. She pictured Milena with the tiny little thing and nodded emphatically. “Yes, that's perfect!” 

While Sebastian did the necessary research and contacted a breeder, Y/N opened a particularly thick envelope and withdrew a stack of papers. They were obviously some kind of court papers, but the cover letter told her a personal letter would follow and she should open that first. 

Surely that wasn't something she would have thrown away. She searched frantically through the remaining envelopes, until she found one addressed to her in a neat, slanted handwriting. She looked to the return address and slapped a hand over her mouth in surprise. 

Irina Fruhauf. 

This must be what it’s like to see a ghost, she thought to herself as she tore into the letter. She spent the next ten minutes reading through Irina’s letter twice, then started in on the court documents. 

“Oh my …” She could hear Sebastian still in the other room on the phone with the breeder, but he was going to need to stop that conversation now. “Seb! Come in here!”

It took him a minute to get off the phone, and when he joined her in the kitchen, she handed him the letter first. His facial expression first was that of surprise, then further shock, and then the bittersweet feeling of reading the last communication of his beloved sister. 

“Is this real?” he asked, voice hoarse with tears.

Y/N pointed to the court documents. “I think it is. Maybe you should call Philip.”

Sebastian nodded, retrieving his phone again. “Yeah, I think I should.”

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @hurricanerin​ @horsesandbandsforlife​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @shynara51​ @sea040561​ @pinknerdpanda​ @xtina2191​ @jackryanplz​ @beakami​ @heartsaved​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​ @averyrogers83​ @jennmurawski13​ @connie326​

IYJR: @elsatxx​ @tanelle83​ @amanda-teaches​ @etherealwaifgoddess​ @kmuir1​ @ntlmundy​ @jayankles​ @rebekahdawkins​ @denise1605​ @rhadigen​ @peace-love-hobbitness​ @itsallyscorner​ @mizzzpink​ @auspiciousharriet​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​ @learisa​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @katherinereid​ @lokilokilokilokilokiloki​ @auriandthepussicats​ @tellmewhatyouwill​ @itsmycorneroftheinternet​ @andreagf956​ @voltage-my2dlove​