talesofayoungadventress

[talesofayoungadventress]

The fact I never did a blog about this kills me. Because there was some crazy shit that went down... as always. But here we are, 3 years later post global pandemic and online teaching 💀 Home girl NEEDS this current vacation. Anyways currently sitting here in Vegas with Monica and I needed to get this up for myself than for anyone to read… #memories and whatnot.

Monica and I did a 5 week trip to Spain and Morocco. I HONEST TO GOD thought this trip was going to be normal. We were older, safe and sane, & not out doin’ risky shit like we use to. All was pretty uneventful the first two weeks in Spain. We drank a pitcher or two of sangria a day, ate, napped for siesta... and anyone thats read from while I was in Thailand knows that is Monica’s specialty 😂, went to see some floating Jesus for Monica, and that’s pretty much it. The men are 🔥, the sangria is perfect, and country wide afternoon nap time is good for the soul. 10/10 would recommend Spain.

The words “Damn Monica look at us having a safe and sane vacation like responsible adults” even left my mouth at one point. We were so proud. Mom was proud I wasn’t out doing hood rat stuff. But then came our last day in Spain. I knew it was all too good to be true...

We stayed in a port town called Tarifa. Although we both had big girl jobs at this point, we still kept it cheap and took the ferry to Tangier in Morocco rather than fly. The night at our hotel set the tone for the rest of the trip. The fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. I panicked and jumped out of bed because I wasn’t about to burn, meanwhile this bitch Monica leisurely gets up, walks to the sink, puts her sweatshirt on and starts washing her face. WASHING HER FREAKING FACE!! WTF!? I actually yelled at her and got her butt out. Thank god it was a false alarm. But moral of the story Monica would have let us burn to wash her face 😑

The ferry was mistake #1. I took Dramamine and Monica didn’t want to. You get one guess who spent the entire ferry ride throwing up in a sink.

Now I’ve only ever thought I was about to be snatched once while traveling. It was in Cambodia with Monica and our psycho drugged out tuk tuk driver. I can add our first day in Morocco as the second time.

For whatever reason Morocco doesn’t let you get money before entering the country like other places. You need to get it from ATM’s at the airport upon arrival. But we chose the cheap route (never again and this lesson will come back to haunt me later... 🐫) and came on the ferry. We asked where we could get $ and they said they had lots of ATM machines outside of the building. Well surprise surprise we didn’t see any. We stood there with no money or phone service stranded wondering what we would do.

Then, out of no where, a man came up and asked us if we wanted to get money and told us to follow him. He led us to a row of windowless rape vans like you see on Criminal Minds and told us the ATM and money exchange was inside. Should I have gone in? No. Did I? Yes. Just when I thought I chose the safe and sane life in Spain it all went out the window. As soon as they opened the back doors sure enough there was a little ATM and a man with a table. Still leery I get in and they slam the doors right behind me. At this point I thought “God damn, really! After all that I’ve gotten myself into this is how I’m being taken out!?” But all went well and I got our money.

After the creepy $ situation, we got a random Chefchaouen and it was everything I wanted it to be. It was blue. It was pretty. We were even offered cocaine instead of the crepes we wanted our first night, and Monica made my fat butt hike up a steep hill TWICE in sandals. But that hike up was so worth it watching those sunsets overlooking the city and hearing the call to prayer. Monica 1, Meghan 0.

After Chefchaouen we headed to Marrakech. I wanted all the rugs, all the vases, tiles, baskets, purses. Honestly I was the equivalent to what the grinch looks like as he’s collecting all the Christmas shit from Whoville. Put it in my bag I’ll give you all the $$. We also stayed in the best boutique hotel. Monica wasn’t a fan until we walked in and settled ourselves. Monica 1, Meghan 1.

I straight up threw down those dollars in Marrakech. I didn’t work all those night classes for nothing! I texted a random guy who sold rugs that I found from someone online. Again... another risky choice but I wanted some damn rugs! Monica was pissed I’d text and leave with a random person for rugs but I was determined and dragged her off with me. Jokes on her because he was so nice, gave us mint tea, and let me live all my Moroccan rug dreams. I got 4. Did I need 4? Hell no! BUUUT did I want 4? Yes.

Shout out to my mom for putting up with my crap and letting me ship and store those babies at her house 😏. FYI they look fab in my new house.

Now there wasn’t anything else to report until the very end of our trip. This is when the “cheap route” reared its ugly head again. Monica is no longer allowed to plan excursions. Ever. 🙅🏽‍♀️ You get what you pay for.

We did a desert camping experience and took a random van 15 hours into the Sahara desert. The entire ride was sketch as usual, and they eventually dropped us off at a hotel for the night. The next day we had to give our room up and sat outside in 130° weather until our evening camel ride into the desert. My camel was NOT cooperating and it took me forever to get on. Monica was last to load up because she started crying and didn’t want to get on because “she could tell her camel didn’t want to go.” So she suggested she’d walk there… the entire 2 1/2 hour trip. The guides looked at her like she was crazy and said no and forced her on anyways. I heard her crying for a good 15 minutes before she was fine and wanted a picture.

My camel ride was 🙅🏽‍♀️. The blankets weren’t tied and my saddle was a triangle piece of wood that kept slipping off. Sitting slanted on a triangle piece of wood for almost 3 hours on a camel is the worst.

Once we got to the camp we had to walk through piles of camel poop to eat dinner in the dark. Also, no warning to us before hand, but our camp didn’t have a water bin or bottles so your girl was waterless in the Sahara desert 🥵. The bed sheets also had me shook to the core… not washed, probably ever, as there was a BODY PRINT STAIN you could see!

Despite the nastiness, the stars were pretty, we climbed to the top of the sand dunes, and I watched the sunrise because I refused to lay down on that bed.

At this point I was tired, dehydrated, and just wanted to get back. Monica still didn’t want to ride the camels (she was in her vegan phase this trip) and said she told them we’d pay to take ATVs. I used the last of $ I had left to do so, and we waited for them to arrive while everyone else loaded back up on camels.

This is where things got weird. We were left with two guys that helped run the camp. One started playing drums for us while the other just sat and glared the entire time. He eventually told us he didn’t like America’s, said we shouldn’t take pictures, and then plot twist he wanted to add us on Facebook. Shout out to Sayed for giving us creepy predator vibes.

Once the ATVs came, we got on and went on our way. While Monica took off nice and slow happy as can be, my guy guns it! I literally held on for dear life the entire 30 min ride back. He’d speed up while we’d go down the sand dunes and our ATV would literally hover down! I don’t remember anything, it all went black, and I almost died.

Once we got back to the hotel Monica was crying and told me it was because of how beautiful the sunrise was on our ride back. She asked if I saw it, but Girl NO I DID NOT because I was trying to hold on and make sure me and my backpack weren’t left in the dust.

We took a shower with a single small stream of water and then took another bus 15 hours back into Marrakech. I was next to a kid that threw up the entire time. No food, no water because I was out of money.

Now if you’ve made it this far bless you. This was the end of our trip and I ended it with picking up some bug that had me SIIIIICK the rest of the two days and entire flight home.

Which brings us to today, exactly 3 years later, and 2 canceled trips back to Thailand thanks to COVID. This road trip will be fun though! Here’s to being on home turf, accident free, not taking the cheap way out, and being responsible.

❤️ Love from Vegas 🇺🇸

[talesofayoungadventress]

Cusco: Am I fat or is it just the altitude? I honestly ask myself this at least five times a day as I walk up any slight incline here in Cusco. I mean it can’t be me right? RIGHT!? I go to the gym even when I don’t want to! Sadly I think it’s a little bit of both. Ya girl is un poco gorda and 11,151 feet above sea level is just too damn high to breath. After a canceled flight and 20 minute layovers, we arrived in Lima to stay at a friends hostel. I was tired as hell but you best better believe I perked up when the hostel owner, whose Dutch, started talking about visiting Dutch inmates in Peruvian jails. “How’s good old Joran?” Shirles asked. “Oh bad. He’s in the worst jail waaay up in the mountains. They are making life miserable for him. He’s beaten all the time” said Toon (yes his actual name). Now who the f*ck is Joran!? I thought. I had to ask and I swear I couldn’t believe it! Joran KILLED NATALIE HALLOWAY! What the actual hell! He’s only in Peru because he killed another woman here and her family is very high profile. They make crap happen so you just KNOW his ass is rotting away forever in the Andes. Sorry not sorry Joran I hope you’re smacked around daily. Of course I’m nosey as hell, so I asked a million questions. I swear it’s like I had turned into Anderson Cooper interviewing Stormy Daniels with all the questions I was throwing his way. Sadly no good gossip was given so my detective/interview skills were wasted. Anderson would have been proud though. The next day we left for Lima and flew into Cusco where we met Walter. Bless him. If you don’t know about him and really want to, go look and read a few posts back in Cuba. Sorry Meeks, no time to explain you twice! He took us to dinner that night, and I always like to try what is custom in each country I visit. He suggested alpaca... uhhhh what 😑Cute little alpacas. (Why is there no llama or alpaca emoji?) Now I spend way too much time watching Chip and Jo on Fixer Upper and plotting my future life in Waco. I’ve gotten it into my head that I want a little farm house with a tiny bit of land so I can have an alpaca or two. Crazy and unrealistic, yes. I blame Chip and Joanna for putting these things into my head. Long story short I ate alpaca 🙈 I was horrified and felt like I had betrayed my future pets. RIP alpaca friends, I’m sorry. The next day Walter came to pick us up in a clown car, fully loaded with his girlfriend and her daughter (who are so so nice) and needed to fit me, Shirles, and our other friend Belinda. Somehow we all got in and went off to explore. A condor reserve was stop #1. My first thought pulling up was “well damn look it’s JPO’s mascot I’ll take a picture for my kids.” But then I got sidetracked by all the hideous dogs running around. I love me some pups, but this... I had to dig reaaallll freakin deep to love on these dogs, and then it ended up just being a single finger tap to the head because I couldn’t dig deep enough to find the love. They were all Peruvian hairless and I have honestly never seen anything uglier in my life. The entire time my face was like this 😬. I’ve spared you all the google search and inserted a picture above. YIKES! I tried to like them, I really did. I tried to pet them but it just grossed me out. They were dry. They were ugly. They were peely. Did I mention really f*cking ugly? One had a sweater on so at least that dog had a home and someone loved it. Bless that family 🙏🏽. Cusco day 2 had us scooting around the city and putting my limited Spanish skills to the test. I like to think I understand 40-50% of what is said but let’s be real, I’m a pale face and only understand like 20% on a good day. Somehow we found a phone shop that sold us a SIM card (that ended up not working 😒🖕🏽) and went to the market where I bought llama keychains for my students and a few gifts for friends and family. I was so excited about my little llama keychains until I noticed that some of them had lost both or one of their googly eyes. Sorry kids, some of y’all are getting disabled llamas. Still cute though. The next day was one of my favorites. We drove up into the mountains to see some of the schools Walter’s Hope Foundation had built. I swear I was living an episode of Worlds Most Dangerous Roads. Apparently that was kid stuff and wasn’t even “that bad.” All I’m saying is I saw the Lord and he was ready to carry my fat butt away. Pretty sure it was from how car sick I was and not the sketchy roads. We saw two preschool and Kinder schools and one primary school. The kids were all in their traditional outfits and cute as hell. Most of them have to walk hours back and forth from school by themselves. 3-5 year olds just walking along the side of the roads like no big deal. I’m so happy I was able to see the schools, and it made me excited to get back to my own class. Little angels this year in G2 THANK GOD 🙌🏽. If you’re still reading this you’re a MVP, I swear this is the last bit. Yesterday I went on a solo trip to Machu Picchu. How people actually hike the Inca Trail is beyond me. I’d need multiple tanks of oxygen. I was huffing and puffing up some of those stairs as it was... but ya know... altitude and not fat remember. Machu Picchu was by far one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen in my life. The fact that people built this thing that long blows my mind. The Incas were magic I swear. Now because I’m me and something always goes wrong or is weird, Machu Picchu just couldn’t be smooth sailing. When I got my entrance documents back, they all said I was a 29 year old from Afghanistan. I always joke I’m the most ambiguous shade of brown and that I’m all races at all times. No matter where I go, if they’re brown I’m one of them. I’ve gotten Mexican, Tahitian, Indian, South Pacific, Pakistani, you name it I’ve been associated, BUT c’mon people! Who put this on my official Machu Picchu forms. I was ready to throw down if they wouldn’t let me in because the information didn’t match my passport. Long story short, after being thrown out of a bus, stumbling along trying to find my way to the train, and then attempting to find my guide, they didn’t even check! I can now add Afghani to my long list of “what are you” guesses I get from people who ask. Lots of llama love from Peru ❤️

[talesofayoungadventress]

It’s now day 6 and I’ve officially had more rum than food. There was even a point when I asked our waitress Anna for “más más rum.” And you all know how I love a good drink, but this is also 100% attributed to Walter being a cheap ass. I promise I really really reallllly like Walter. Like a lot because he’s an amazing person, but more about him down below.

In Cuba almost everything is government run. And when it is, it has absolutely nothing inside. Cubans can’t afford restaurants so they are empty all the time. The food is also very cheap and tastes like shit. I have yet to eat something decent. I swear to God Shirley, Shannon (another Cuban vacay tag along) and I are starting our own damn Cuban revolution tonight for a privately owned restaurant. A place with more than five things on the menu.

So our trip out of Havana began with us haggling to keep our bags in our hostel, so we could putt around Cuba and collect more crap to bring home. Much to Walter’s demise.

So now let’s chat about Walter. He’s Shirley’s friend that is driving us all around Cuba. He really cracks the whip when it comes to driving. We get up, have breakfast and then hit he road. We vary rarely pit stop, and if we do its for pictures of vintage revolution billboards.

Walter is Dutch and, despite being cheap, is the nicest man you will ever come across in your whole damn life. He runs a program that builds schools and other necessities in the impoverished mountain areas of Peru. He literally has a heart of gold. He also has the patience of a saint for all the countless times I creep up behind him like a fool, only to attempt to get the same awesome picture as him when he whips out his fancy camera.

As mentioned before, cheap rules in his eyes, which according to Shirley is the Dutch way. He’s had the same Havana shirt on that he picked up in Peru (“because it was cheaper”), for four days. Lipstick smear (?? Maybe lipstick, maybe not) and all. “Ahh my favorite restaurant…” he says. “Cheap!” Or like tonight, “How about this place? Not very many options, but it’s cheap! Let’s sit.”

Yesterday we left Havana for Cienfuego. I snoozed half of the way only to wake up in a teeny tiny town. I straight up felt like I was in the twilight zone. All of the cars were no older than 1950’s, and if they weren’t driving a car they were driving a horse and wagon cart! A FREAKING HORSE AND WAGON CART! That’s how 90% of it all goes down in Cuba outside of Havana. I was like a damn dog sticking my head out of the window to get pictures.

Once we got to Cienfuego, we couldn’t find our hostel. Airbnb just started in Cuba about a month ago, and no one here knows how to use it. Seriously. The phone number listed was for someone in Mexico, the address didn’t have a house number just the street name, and all we had to go by was the name of the hostel and the name owner, Magalia.

No lies, it took us probably 2 hours to find this place. We started in a local neighborhood and asked everyone and their mom where this place was. Every time we asked we got pointed in a different direction. We drove by the same places more times than I can count. Finally we found a hostel we though was ours… Wrong, just another hostel owned by a Magalia that happened to know our Magalia. Long story short, we finally found this beezy and she made us mojitos when we arrived. All is forgiven when free booze is involved.

That night we took her to dinner and let Magalia choose where we ate. She took us to her ex husbands restaurant. I thought I’d finally found my Cuban sandwich, but I was horribly wrong. What I got instead was two pieces of bread two inches thick with loads of salty cheese, salty ham, and random hunks of brown meat. Was it ham? Was it beef? Who the hell knows, but those were brushed to the side after a couple bites.

Honest to God I thought I was gonna have another Thailand stomach experience after that dinner. I was in bed that and thought I’d be ruined any minute with all the rumbling going on. I remember thinking I’ll never sin again if anyone out there in the mystic world of religion will help me avoid tummy problems. Luckily life gave me a hall pass and it was all okay. Thank you God, Buddha, Muhammad, Zeus, hell I’ll even throw the woman wizard of Scientology in there. I was literally feeling that freaking blessed 🙌🏽.

The next day we moved along to a little town called Trinidad, and let me just tell you… This little town was giving me life! I’m convinced if the US dedicated time to painting buildings the same pretty colors as in Trinidad we’d all be happier and nicer to one another. I was able to spend the day just walking around and getting pictures of the town and its people. There was a little boy that ran up to hug me as I was talking his picture, and I swear to God it took all my strength to remind myself I don’t want kids right now and not to kidnap him. He would have been the cutest son. Meghan and little Luis. Just living life.

Dinner was the best part of Trinidad. Was it cheap you may be thinking? Why yes, yes it was, but it had live music and a little family cuttin’ a rug out on the front patio. We got up to dance, and while a smarmy Dutch man with a Cuban mail order bride scooped up Shannon, I got a cute little Cuban grandpa that swirled me all over the place. I’m pretty sure I left my body at one point with all the twirls he was dishing out.

So fast forward to today. Day 6. Jesus freaking Christ you guys. 😷😷😷😷

According to the owner of the house, we could get to our next town, Santa Clara, by a “short cut” through the mountains. This short cut is where we picked up a random 15 year old girl along the side of the road and continued on. Lord help me, this “short cut” turned into a two hour windy drive. After we dropped off the random girl, Walter took off like speed racer dodging. Massive pot holes and zig zagging like I’ve never seen. I thought I was gonna die. So much nausea. So much swallowing down the urge to puke. We stopped along the side of the road to look at the view at one point, and that’s where I prayed for a bolt of lightning to just take me out. That had to be better than suffering what I was currently feeling. Once back in the car I just curled up in the fetal position and eventually fell asleep.

Santa Clara is the home of Che. I swear he is idolized here. He reminds me of an attractive Robin Hood. We jumped in a taxi and went to his memorial, and saw a train that was in a revolutionary battle. This is pretty much it for Santa Clara. It’s a sleepy town with not much to see. We walked around, went to a clapped out museum, and then walked into a restaurant for lunch.

Surprise surprise, no one was inside. Before we walked in, a man said something to us and when translated by Walter he was telling us not to go inside because it run by government. While Walter sat for some pizza and Shirley for coffee, Shannon and I went on a food hunt. There is literally NOTHING in Cuba. I have yet to see a store for clothes, or food. The markets aren’t stocked well if at all. I honestly don’t know what Cubans do for food and clothes. Apparently the black market is big here for basic necessities.

But seriously you guys I need find somewhere to eat. I’ve had three fiber one bars today and I’m terrified I’m going to start pooping uncontrollably at any moment.

It’s my birthday tomorrow so I’m demanding we go to this restaurant in Havana that the Kardashians went to. If it’s good for them it must be good for us too right…? 🙄😳

Hungry love from Cuba ❤️🇨🇺

UPDATE: WE GOT FOOOOOD! We looked through Lonely Planet and found two places. The first place was a bust, and I’m pretty sure our taxi driver took us to a random home instead of the place we were looking for. He was a total loon. We all had to squish in his car, and I swear I must have looked like old Sadam crawling out of his hiding hole when I had to crawl my way out of the back seat in my dress. Place number two was a winner though, Florida Central 🙌🏽. We all had ham. Seems like thats all they have here besides veal… And I don’t eat baby cows.

[talesofayoungadventress]

🇨🇺 Hola FROM CUBA! 🇨🇺

Can you f*ckin believe this, because I sure as hell can’t!

Let’s just start by saying I plan on reenacting my very own Dirty Dancing Havana Nights movie in real life, and intend on drinking all the rum… So far I’ve succeeded on the rum front, but I need to work on my dancing skills. But on a side note, the men are 🔥. In the words of my favorite neighbor, Shirley’s hubby Billy, “If you find a man, make sure he has a passport so you can ship him back when you’re done with him.” Never heard wiser words in all my life. Thank you, Billy. You’re forever my fave.

When my neighbor Shirley offered to let me go along on this trip with her, there was no way in hell I was ever going to say no. I’d literally sell my soul to be able to go to Cuba. And on Friday, you best better believe I was leaving work skipping and spinning like Julie Andrews in the mountains of Switzerland in the Sound of Music all the way to my car. Hasta luego, kids! See ya in a month! 😎✌🏽️

After a breeze through TSA (worryingly easy 😒), we had a stage 5 clinger next to us waiting. Now I probably brought this upon myself by being a hungry hungry hippo, and taking way too many sneak peaks at him wondering where he got his donut.

When he heard us talking about the lack of wifi in Cuba, boy did he go off. “Oh you’re going to Cuba… Well I’M going to Cuba too. But you know *loud sigh* China is home and I travel ALLLL over the world, so I’ll be going through Moscow. You know, in Russia.”

#1 I ain’t dumb and I sure as hell know where Moscow is. #2, I wrote you off about five minutes into this conversation due to your weird vibes, and #3… Russia.

Now if you’ve ever read my blog while I was in Thailand, you may recall how many weird/creepy encounters I’ve had with Russians. I’ve yet to meet one that doesn’t make me want to make a face like this 😑. Or this 😒. Or feel like they are spies and side with Putin. So after a long and dramatic rant about literature, and a “Well you know what Oscar Wilde said about Cuba, ‘Nothing good ever happens in a sugar cane field,’” we dipped out real fast… Only to have a hot mess next to us on the plane. 8 Jack and Cokes and 4 Heinekens later we landed in Miami to catch our flight to Havana.

Now this is where things started to pick up. I don’t know if it’s because I’m brown, but all the old Cuban people waiting for the flight assumed I knew Spanish. They would talk and talk as if I understood every word. Even after the “muy picito Español.” On the plane it was the same. We sat next to the sweetest Cuban man, Manuel (dubbed Manuel by yours truly), carrying a bag with pink fairy wings. He continued to chit chat with me in Spanish as if I understood more than 45% of what he said. From my limited Spanish skills I knew he was very upset by the fact that his flight from Bolivia gave him ham and wine, while he had nada on our flight. I’d be pissed to Manuel.

Havana is one of the coolest places I have ever seen. I know I say that a lot, but really. It’s like stepping back in time. I honestly can’t even begin to tell you all what this city is like. It’s almost like Havana is a shadow of what it once was. Although it is still beautiful in its own decrepit way, you can just tell that it was once a happenin’ place.

Vintage cars are everywhere, and the buildings are either crumbling apart or completely falling down. We spent the day wandering around Old Havana, and came across a man playing the trumpet. I wanted to give him some money for letting me take his picture and record him, but the lowest bill I had was only a 10. I didn’t want to be an asshole so that’s what I left him. It’s not like I can’t afford to spare a 10. But the man we are with was appalled! And I mean APPALLED! “That’s way to much! Take it back now!” The f*ck, Walter!? I ain’t about to Indian give this man.

I’m 90% sure I made this mans day. After I slipped him the bill, he made me stand close so he could play me Silent Night on his trumpet. Suck it Walter, he has some extra cash and I got Silent Night. A win win in my eyes.

Cubans are some of the nicest people… But the men are shameless. I’ve had my face kissed like it was my last day on Earth, a trillion kissy faces as I walk or drive by, and an offer for a “souvenir…”

Man: Señorita your bag is open! Me: Muchas gracias. Man: Señorita, you want Cuban souvenir!? Me: A what? Man: Here see *pulls out ohine* Baby. You want baby? Come look, we have baby!

Sir unless you have millions of dollars and a face of a Hemsworth brother I ain’t got time to have anyone’s kid. Or take one you may or may not already have.

We ended our first night in Cuba having dinner with the most amazing family. Pedro, his wife, and their daughter Wendy. We were only in Havana for the day, and are headed further into Cuba tomorrow, but we’ll be back for my birthday and Christmas.

Cheers to still looking for a Cuban sandwich to eat, and all the rum I can get.🐷🍹

Much love from HAVANA!

P.S. Mom I absolutely HATE to admit this, but the mangos… I think you may have been right. ❤️🖕🏼💜

[talesofayoungadventress]

And that’s a wrap!

This is probably the last blog post I’ll ever do, and surprisingly I’m kinda sad. When I started this, I didn’t see it going for more than two posts but I’ve actually enjoyed writing these. And to whoever has been following along all these months, THANK YOU for taking any interest in all the fun and mishaps I’ve had while over here.

I’m currently eating dinner (a sleeve of Oreos) on an awkward sleeper bus while on my way out of Sapa, Vietnam and headed back to Hanoi to catch a flight back into Bangkok. These past 42 days have been amazing, but I’m officially tired and ready to go back to my little town one last time before I have to head home.

Now, all about Vietnam. When telling my brother I’d be in Vietnam, he immediately pulled out the racist stereotype about eating dogs. I believe his exact words were “You gonna be eating hella dog meat!” Typical Devin response and I of course denied it all. But I’m here to tell you that I was wrong. Very wrong. So wrong in fact that I’m not going to even tell him because lord knows I’ll never hear the end of it.

Our second day in Vietnam we met a couple that ACTUALLY WANTED TO TRY DOG! I was silently judging them the entire time they were sharing their story. I mean I understand it’s a cultural thing over here, but c'mon! NO! YOU’RE NOT VIETNAMESE! DO NOT DO THAT! All I kept thinking about was my little Marly and Remmington all hacked to bits and grilled, because that’s apparently how they do it. Just grilling those babies up. According to the couple dog is extremely fatty 😷. I was internally screaming as I was told this. RIP little pups.

Before coming to Vietnam, we were told that Americans weren’t treated very nicely due to lingering bitterness from the war. I’m glad that I can tell you this is only partially true. Just about everyone we have met here has been so kind and welcoming. The only time we have ever felt otherwise is when we would interact with some of the older people. They weren’t out right rude, but they definitely didn’t go out of the way to be nice, friendly, or helpful. In a way I can understand where they are coming from. We came in and destroyed their country, and they are still feeling the effects.

Due to all the agent orange we dropped, many forest areas have trees that only grow so high. Once the roots touch the agent orange that’s still in the soil they stop growing. These forests are now only good for the paper industry. In addition to the trees, people are still being born with awful deformities. Being around SE Asia I’ve always noticed the blind people walking around begging for money or being assisted by others. Not only blind, but they appear to have no eyes or eyes that are under developed. It wasn’t until the war museum in Ho Chi Minh that we learned that this is a common deformity. Whether they are agent orange victims or it was due to natural causes, I’ll never know for sure but it definitely makes me think a little harder about war and what we leave behind.

As an American I’ve have mixed emotions being here. It may not be everyone’s opinion, but personally I feel as though we were in the wrong in regards to the Vietnam War. The terror and damage that were brought upon this country was horrible, and you can’t help but feel a little bit guilty when interacting with those that you know for a fact lived through it. But at the same time you are very proud of those that came to fight, many of which had no choice or desire to do so, and risked or lost their lives. It’s a weird push and pull, but I’m so glad that I’ve had the chance to be here and experience it all for myself, because Vietnam has quickly become one of my favorite places.

In the two weeks that I’ve been here, I’ve gone to Ho Chi Minh (Saigon), Hoi An, Hanoi, Halong Bay, and Sapa. Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi are just like Bangkok. Big cities, with lots going on. So much in fact that it’s near impossible to cross the street. We’ve learned that there is no right or wrong time to cross, you just go. You inch out little by little and all the motorbikes just go around you… At least I prayed they would every time I was standing in the middle of traffic. And there is tons of honking. Honking to tell you to get out the way, honking to let you know they are behind you, honking to warn you’re about to be passed, just honking all the damn time. Within this chaos there is some structure. They have lanes designated for just motorbike drivers, motorbikes and tuk tuks, and then a lane strictly just for cars. An organized chaos I guess.

While in Ho Chi Minh we saw the tunnels that the Vietnamese used during the war, which are 40x40 cm. I had a little panic while crab walking in the pitch black tunnel while it was about 100 degrees inside. Those tunnels are definitely not Western sized even though they “have expanded” some of the way for foreign tourists… to 60x40 cm 😑. Not fun. At all.

Out of all of all the places we visited in Vietnam, Hoi An was my FAVORITE. I can’t even begin to describe to you how beautiful this city is and just how much I live it! I’m not even joking. During the war, the Vietcong fought hard to protect the French colonial and Japanese buildings that make up the city, so everything is still intact. To make everything even prettier, they have lanterns on almost every building and above the streets. I bought a boat load. I don’t know what I’ll be doing with them, but I bought them anyways. I just can’t say no to anything that shines, glitters, or glows 😍.

We did a bike tour through Hoi An, and then was offered to go to dinner with the girl that lead our tour. She asked if she could take us to a local place so of course we said yes! It had the best food. We had grilled pork and Vietnamese pancake which we rolled in rice paper to make fresh spring rolls. The food here is heaven and I’ve eaten a bowl of pho every day. Sometimes twice.

Sapa was another favorite. Once you get out of Sapa town, which is 99% hotels and 10% stores/restaurants, it is one of the most amazing places. There are miles and miles and miles of terraced rice paddies that are surrounded by 2,000 different villages, with 500 different languages.

We came to Sapa to hike, and there were two options available for us to choose from. A 15.5 mile, and a 10 mile. Monica was all for the 15.5 but I just wasn’t about that life. After a good debate, I gave in to the 15.5 miles. I didn’t want to have to pay 360,000 dong (yes their currency is called dong and we laughed like immature 12 year old boys the entire time) for a hike alone, when I could pay 70,000 for the longer hike with a group. Long story short, the long hike group was canceled and we went on the “short” hike. THANK GOD 🙌🏽.

We hiked through the different villages, through rice paddies where I slipped and stepped right in the middle of the terrace (mud ALLL over my leg), climbed some mountains, and went into a bamboo forest. All the while little village women followed along in hopes we’d buy some of their handmade purses after, which surprise surprise I did. I’m weak when it comes to that stuff. I just feel bad and can’t say no.

I don’t know how the woman do it everyday with baskets full of things on their backs. I was slipping all over the place and they were as cool as can be hiking away in their little rubber sandals. “Everyday I do” was one woman’s response when I asked how she can hike in her shoes. They’re all champions in my eyes.

So Sapa is the last stop, which brings me back to the bus… where I just now realized I left a bag full of gifts for my family in town. I’m devastated. I’ve been so good about carrying that crappy little plastic bag around. Just my luck I lose it on my very last day. Currently dying on the inside while everyone around me sleeps.

These next few days are gonna fly by. I’m headed back to Bang Bon tomorrow, and then I head into the city for one last night out/afternoon with a friend.

I’ve absolutely loved my time in Thailand, and it’s so hard to say goodbye. I’m going to miss this country and all those that have become such good friends so so much. All I can say is thanks for the good times Thailand, it’s been cool. 😎✌🏽️❤️

Love from a cramped sleeper bus in the middle of Vietnam. See you soon California!

[talesofayoungadventress]

Tired of seeing my pictures and blog posts yet? Well I only have two weeks left soooo… I’ll be back to posting nothing real soon. Just bare with me and all my obnoxious postings until then.

I always think I’m going to have a normal uneventful experience whenever I go places. I don’t know why because I have the worst luck and always attract the strangest people.

So I just left Cambodia and FYI this is where they are filming Survivor this year. May the power of all that’s holy bless them because it was SO. DAMN. HOT. Like miserably hot. And I know I saw this every post, but it’s true. I just wish you all could feel how hot and sticky it is. It takes all of my effort to just stand there and breath let alone move or do anything productive. If I were on Survivor I would actually vote myself off. Unless my prize was Sam Hunt or Adam Levine with an engagement ring then I’d be fighting to the very end.

Every other step in Cambodia you’ll hear “Lady you want to buy?” “Lady lucky price come look!” Or “Lady tuk tuk?” Or little horn toots in hopes you want a ride somewhere. We did do quite a few tuk tuk rides because we were too lazy to walk. Can’t say now for two dollar rises.

Cambodia is also the cheapest place I’ve ever been too! I bought dinner every night for no more than $3.00. And that was in the expensive end. Most times is was only $1.50. I’m dreading coming home and paying what in use to. “What do you mean my cart full of groceries isn’t $10!?” Is probably what I’ll be saying.

Siem Reap was the first stop in Cambodia. We stayed in a place with our own room that had a massive bathroom, at least by hostel and guesthouse standards. It was nice to be able to wash my clothes in the shower and hang them to dry without being caught, because 99% of the time there is a big sign posted to tell you to not wash your clothes in the bathroom. But who cares I do what I want. No time for smelly (too smelly) clothes. I have limits.

Siem Reap has a main area called Pub Street that is similar to NOLA. At least that’s what they say, I’ve never been to New Orleans. Along the streets are lots of little bars and restaurants. I’d love to tell you that they were all good, but we parked our butts at this little Indian place two nights in a row and then had smoothies and chips the last night because we’re healthy like that. The Indian was 100% though.

Now like I said, I always think I’m going to be a normal vacation person and just have an uneventful good time… but day one the action kicked in.

Leading up to going to Cambodia we heard all about the scams that go on there. Scams at the boarder, scams in the street, tuk tuk scams, you name it they have a scam for it. Anything to hustle a few dollas outta you.

While putting around town we were headed to the store and saw a woman walk our way. She was just about on top of me the entire walk begging for milk for the little baby she was holding. We walked for almost five minutes with her following along while I kept saying no. Then she started started bumping my arm saying “No money just milk.” Now this baby looked all kinds of jacked up. Glazed eyes, limp as hell. Finally Monica and I agreed to buy her some milk and she lead us to a store to buy formula… We walked up to the store and got her the formula. All the while, an old foreign white man watched it all go down.

After she split with her milk, the man got his dumb butt off of the stoop only to come up to us and shout in my face “HEEEYYYYY!!!! You were just scammed. Do you live here? No, oh well you just lost your money.” and then walked away. REALLY! F*CKING REAAAALLLLYYY, MAN! And you just sat there and watched it all happen. 🖕🏼= me mentally giving the bird as he walked away.

Once we were back at the guesthouse we googled scams, and guess what? The baby milk scam was #1. Even the store we went to was mentioned by so many travelers. Apparently it’s affiliated with the mob, and the woman gets half of the money as soon as she brings the milk back to the store. It’s the Russians. I just know it. They’ve got their little mafia Putin paws all over SE Asia. So much for our attempted good deed. And as for the baby, they blow cigarette smoke all over their gave to make them look sick 😑.

Siem Reap ended on a high note though. We went to Angkor Wat at sunrise and then continued on all day to the surrounding temples. I can honestly say I have never seen anything cooler in my entire life. If King Louis’ temple in the Jungle Book was real it’d be Angkor Wat or the Bayon temple. And the fact that all of these places are well over 900 years old blows my mind. How are these bad boys still standing!? How did they build all this in the heat? As always over here, so many questions and zero answers.

What made our time even better is that we had our own tuk tuk driver that went above and beyond to show us around. Not only that, but he knew the best spots to take pictures. He wasn’t afraid to tell all the Chinese tourists to scoot out of the dang way with their umbrellas and selfie sticks. He would literally say “Hey! You! Move!” and then make a get out the way hand motion.

After a good time in Siem Reap, Phnom Penh was a different story. It was so dirty and so packed with traffic. Never in my life did I think I’d miss all the over passes and their million steps back in Thailand, but I sure did in Phnom Penh. It was almost impossible to cross the street. So many cars going everywhere. I’m glad we only stayed here for two nights because it wasn’t my favorite at all.

On our second day we finally started talking to our roommate, Elena, and she was such a creep. Once again the Russians making a comeback here in Cambodia/ SE Asia. I’m 95% sure she was up to no good. Every question from her was about our passports, America, how we are able to stay so long in Thailand, how much our things cost… on and on. Then out of no where the house keepers came in and flagged her to go outside of the room.

As we were on our way out we needed to ask the front desk where the nearest bank was. As we came to the counter, there was Elena, the two house keepers, and the front desk lady all huddled close together. Before they saw us I saw that Crazy Russian had a massive stone ring in her hand, and all I kept hearing her say was “No there, don’t you see. Diamonds. Diamonds!” As soon as they saw us, she quickly hid the ring behind her back and they all just stood there staring at us in silence… And of course she knew where the bank was. She probably goes all the time to stash her mafia black market gem money. Like I said, I knew Elena was up to no good. We hid our passports that night.

Once we were done being creeped out by Elena, we found a tuk tuk to take us to the genocide museum. He gave us the price of $20 for a ride there and back wich is CRAZY! A ride one way usually costs $2. I refused to pay and we tried to argue our way down. We didn’t know how far it was, our first mistake, so we agreed to pay $15 there and back. As we got in the tuk tuk, his friend over heard that we were paying $15 and told us “Too low, $25 is right price.” I have him the snake eye and just like Beyoncé I thought “Bye boy byeeeeee✌🏽️”

It was all fine until he immediately pulled over, randomly told us to hide our purses and then stated to rant like a crazy person, all the while laughing hysterically drinking some milky shit with seeds in it. He was not making any sense at all. It was around this time that he got back in the drivers seat to take us away. I looked at Monica and actually asked if she thought he was drunk or on something.

We got the bad vibes at this point. I told her straight up I was prepared to jump out of the tuk tuk into moving traffic if need be. Two minutes later we were almost hit by three different cars at once and he just turned around to laugh at us like it was the funniest thing in the world. We got out. Immediately. He was annoyed, but like hell was I going to stay in a rickety cart with this crazy man.

After this all went down we finally found another tuk tuk driver that wasn’t on drugs, and he only charged us $5 THERE AND BACK! I just knew that other guy was ripping us off. That crazy asshole!! Lesson learned, always know how far away places are. Especially when you don’t have a working phone with you to check, and ALWAYS ALWAYS listen to your instincts.

My mom has been watching CSI Abroad these past few weeks and it’s been giving her crazy ideas. Safe to say she’s ready for me to come home and did not like hearing this story. She’s convinced I’m going to be kidnapped by a tuk tuk driver and have my body parts sold, because thats what she saw on the show 😑. Stop watching mom!!!

That’s basically it for Cambodia. We were scammed a lot, saw some amazing temples, shared a room with a Russian spy/mafia member/jewelry smuggler, and we found a decent Mexican place. That burrito will tie me over until I’m home in two weeks. We got to Vietnam yesterday afternoon and I’ll be here for the next two weeks :)

✌🏽️❤️🌞

[talesofayoungadventress]

How has twenty some days of travel already come and gone!? 😩 Also FYI this is going to be the LONGEST post ever, so buckle up and bare with me.

The last week and a half was spent in northern Thailand where I literally cooked to death. With temps around 108 daily, I’ve gotten into the routine of just about stripping down immediately after walking through the door. Sorry not sorry Monica, homegirl is busy sweatin’ her tits off. I better come back five sizes smaller with all the walking and sweating I’m doing.

For three days in April (13-15), Thailand and the rest of south east Asia celebrated the New Year know as Songkran. They also celebrated the new year in January so I have no idea what exactly is going on here. BUT what I do know is that they celebrate their New Year in the best way possible… with a massive water fight! Literally everyone closes up shop, and hits the streets with water guns and buckets. From the old to the young, everyone participates and it is so so much fun. We spent Songkran in Chiang Mai where it is suppose to be one of the best places to celebrate 😎.

Before Songkran was suppose to start, we took a cooking class. I don’t want to brag or anything but I’m practically Thai now when it comes to cooking. My green curry is 100%. On our way home our ‘Teachers in Thailand’ Facebook page had warning that the festivities had already gotten started. We spent the entire ride home (thankfully inside the truck) watching the chaos. Once we were back at the hotel, we loaded up on water guns and waterproof bags for our phones and went out to play.

We ended up getting a tuk tuk. Our driver was young and we could tell he wanted to be out in the fun. And thank god for that! He drove us around for about an hour as we sprayed and got soaked back, all the while making loads of pit stops for refills. The guy was a gem and I’m so glad he was up to driving us around and getting soaked with us.

It’s all fun and games until you get close by the river and you see people dunking their buckets in and using that to toss at you. As soon as we’d see it we would alert everyone and immediately close our eyes and mouths. Ain’t nobody got time for poopy water.

On the first official day of Songkran we went into the streets and it was absolutely insane. So many people shooting each other. The worst is when you’d get a hard stream to the eyes or the ears. And as usual because the Thailand heat could sizzle your skin off, it felt so nice to be soaking wet all day. I was living the dream.

I wish I had pictures to show you all, but like an idiot I accidentally deleted all of my photos and videos. I honestly almost cried I was so upset. Hopefully I’ll be able to get them recovered when I get home because they were amazing!

Just like the January New Year, we also rang in this New Year in with elephants. There will never be a time when I don’t stand in wonder while around these giant animals. It is one of the coolest things I will ever have the opportunity to do.

This time we decided to go to a different elephant sanctuary, Patera Elephant Farm. It’s very similar to what we did in January, except they let you ride them. Now I know what you’re thinking, “You b*tch! After you said don’t ride them!” 🙄. Although we did ride them, we did so in a way that is safe for the elephant and is how they have been ridden for hundreds of years. On their necks where they can support the weight and NOT in crates on their backs.

We were all assigned an elephant. While Monica got a gentle giant with huge tusks and a cool as hell trainer, leave it to me and my luck to get a grouchy missy. She wanted all the food and gave zero shits about being friends.

Immediately after she was fed I was dismissed. “Talk to her. Tell her dee dee (good girl) and pet.” Well let me tell you, she was NOT dee dee and she did not want to be pet. While we were suppose to be “gaining trust” by brushing them, she decided she had enough, got up, and literally ran into the river. Have any of you seen a giant elephant run before!? Seeing this and knowing I had to ride her in about ten minutes made me just a tiny bit worried.

Somehow my half aware trainer, with the help of another, wrangled her butt out of the water and back to me where I “brushed” her with leaves. We still weren’t friends.

After brushing her, I somehow climbed my fat butt up her trunk and onto her neck. Once I was on we began to walk. That’s when she decided to be a hood rat and do what she wanted. She refused to move so she could eat leaves, and then at one point she decided to try and run. I almost peed. And not with excitement.

Once we made it to our lunch spot we had a little break from each other. I hoped she’d learn to be nice in our time away. No. At bath time once again she did what she wanted. And then pooped right next me. In the water. Where it just floated all around me. 😑

For our second and last ride of the day I just knew this relationship wasn’t going to work. At this point I had two trainers with me because she wasn’t cooperating. They poked her in the butt with a stick and that got her moving again. We walked close to the edge a few times, and when she saw the bus life all of a sudden sprang back into her and she bolted. Being on top of an elephant when it is in a slight jog is terrifying. Where do you put your hands!? What happens if I fall off!? Do I tuck and roll? Why are you heading to the cliff area to get leaves!? So many questions, zero answers. As I got off her neck she gave me a trunk spray that shot out all kinds of wet green shit. Like I said. We. Weren’t. Friends. Still had a great time though feelin’ like Mowgli 💁🏽.

After Chiang Mai we went to Pai. In order to get to Pai, it’s a three hour bus ride with about 726 curves in the road. I’m not even exaggerating. There are actually that many curves. I’ve heard horror stories and have seen the snap chats to prove that this drive could be a real bitch. While worrying about the drive, all that kept replaying in my mind was 5th grade whale watching and how I threw up the entire time next to Cameron Swell. Considering I still remember who I threw up next to, you can say I’m pretty much scared for life when it comes to motion sickness.

Thankfully momma packed me some Dramamine. I popped those babies like candy and slept the entire way.

Pai is a quiet place where you come to do nothing in particular. You hike the canyon which we did, and lay around in hammocks all day, which we also did.

Our first hostel was a good twenty minute walk from the center of town. We walked our way there in the blazing heat and found our hostel that was made of bamboo and leaves. No fans. No AC. I laid in my bed for a good 20 minutes while Monica fell asleep, which has become the usual. When I couldn’t take the heat any longer, I got up to sit on the floor. And just sat there for two hours while Monica slept peacefully. Unaffected by the heat. I’d like to add that she is still rocking sweaters. The f*ck Monica!!! How!!?? There was a sweaty body print on my sheets once I got up. I have never been hotter. Not to mention I didn’t have any water, and the front desk closes at 7:00. No water there either. I’m pretty sure I had heat exhaustion because at one point I didn’t know if I wanted to throw up or pass out. Thankfully I didn’t do either and I went to sleep instead.

We were only there for one night and when we went to switch hostels we found out that I had screwed up the booking and they canceled our stay 😶🔫. No big deal we just booked another hostel. Walked another 1000 miles and found it.

Worst. So much bad. So much dirty. I die.

First of all we walked up to this place where two men were just sleeping outside. Once they woke up they had no idea about the reservations we had just made and spoke just about zero English. Without looking anything up on the computer one of them just walked us to a random room across the way and said we could stay. We paid, he gave us water and that was it.

We sat in silence on nasty ass beds for a few minutes before a “This is gross as f*ck!” came out of my mouth. I’m 100% sure it wasn’t cleaned. The walls even had crap all over it. Just sitting on the bed made me feel like I had lice or bed bugs making their way through my pants. After 20 minutes of bad jokes to ease the pain and a few “I refuse to sleep in this damn bed” comments, I booked a hotel up the street and we just left. We told a man in a random police shirt that was next door to our room, that was possibly associated with the owners (if they were even the owners that helped us), some lie that we were going to the post office.

We found a roach in our new hotel. I killed it with deet. Thanks Shirley 😘.

After Pai it was on to Chiang Rai. If I’m being honest Chiang Rai wasn’t one of my favorite places here in Thailand. I went on a tour, saw a white temple, a black house with loads of wooden penis carvings, animal skins and rooms I couldn’t go in, women with rings on their necks, met a super hot French guy, and got a pedicure. May the lord bless the woman who painted my dirty ugly tan lined feet.

I’m currently in Cambodia and a lot has already happened, but we’ll save that for the next post.

Peace and blessings from Thailand

💜✌🏽🐘

[talesofayoungadventress]

I’m officially ten days into my travels and have just left Laos. How has it been ten days already!? We left Bangkok on a sleeper train and made our way to the border to take another fifteen minute train that would take us into Laos.

Laos is so different from Thailand. It is a lot quieter, and the people seemed to live even more simpler lives. Laos in my opinion is what I imagined Asia to be. Lush forests and quiet villages. No traffic, tall building and absolutely no McDonald’s, Starbucks or any other western company. It is literally untouched from what I saw. It was a nice change. Driving through the mountains and seeing all the little communities was the best. I wish we could have stopped.

Surprise surprise Laos is also hot as balls. It is DEFINITELY hot season. They weren’t kidding when they said April and May are the hottest months. I mean even my eyelids are sweating. If you’re questioning whether or not a certain body part sweats or not, I’m here to tell you it does. The insides of your elbows, your butt, your back, your stomach, hell even your chochie sweats 🙅🏽. I. Hate. It.

We went to the capital city of Vientiane first, then Vang Vieng, and finally Luang Prabang. Although Vientiane is the capital, it was the most quiet and laid back. While there we went to a Buddha park and wandered around the city. My stomach was still hurting so I was terrified to eat anything and lived off of mango smoothies almost the entire time we were there. Nothing too exciting went on in Vientiane.

Next we went to Vang Vieng which is known for their tuning and boozing down the river. Since Monica can’t swim (and she reached her limit with being stranded in the middle of the ocean in Koh Phi Phi) we passed on tubing and instead went to the blue lagoon and hiked up to the cave. The cave was unfortunately a bust. I’m pretty sure we should have gone to the one down the road, but oh well.

The blue lagoon was nice though. We woke up super early and were the first ones there. Until a van full of old Chinese grandmas and grandpas came. They all wanted to take my picture while I was on the water swing and it just got awkward. I got out only to have an old man give me thumbs up and point at my bathing suit 80 times going “mmmm ok, mmmm ok!” 😑. But once they got in the water I swear they all reverted back to 12 and it was the best thing to watch. They were cracking up while jumping in with their bright orange life jackets swimming and taking pictures of each other. They reminded me of my crazy Mimi and her red hat ladies or her fishing group The Lady Hookers causing all kinds of ruckus. I aspire to be on my Mimi and the old Chinese people’s level when I’m their age. Mimi just turned 75 yesterday and is so dang active.

Our hostel in Vang Vieng was absolute 💩. We thought we hit the jackpot having to pay only 130 baht for two nights, which is only $3.70, but the old saying you get what you pay for slapped me across the face when I went to take a shower and found a used condom on the shelf. Praise Buddha I refused to enter anywhere in that place without my shoes, Thai respect be dammed, and didn’t have to be barefoot inside that cesspool because I ain’t about that life. Since I was the first one in I was able to report back to Monica to wear her shoes because there were probably heroin needles all up in there too. Unlucky for her, some gross f*ck left a used surprise in her shower also. Just FYI in the two days we were there they were never removed 😷.

It’s safe to say I refused to stay in that hostel longer than was needed to sleep, so we we spent our days lounging in hammocks along the river eating sandwiches and drinking smoothies. I’d like to point out at this point I began to cautiously eat again because my stomach just up and decided to get better… Only after my mom called in a panic saying she had called AAA travel insurance and the nurses on call told her I needed to stop taking the medication the doctor gave me because it had nothing to do with what I was describing my symptoms to be. We went from don’t take it anymore, right into I think you may have a stomach parasite which made me panic. Just my luck my “ulcer” would be a damn parasite. But right when I was thinking of cutting my time in Laos short to fly to Chiang Mai to go back to the hospital, my stomach pain went away. Just like that. This will forever be a mystery. Which pisses me off because I had to have a damn tube shoved into my stomach.

Our last stop in Laos was Luang Prabang. Laos was colonized by the French and this city still has a lot of the old building still intact. It’s actually an UNESCO World Heritage site. Luang Prabang was by far my most favorite place in Laos, and the only way I can describe it is that it looks like the Pirates of the Caribbean French quarter at Disneyland mixed with a little sprinkle of Asian. Which is awesome because who doesn’t like the pirates part of Disneyland!?.

Once again it’s a really quiet area. It actually has a curfew of midnight that is enforced by the police. While here we went to see the waterfall and hiked up a massive mountain side to be above the waterfall only to not be able to see a damn thing 😑.

We also woke up at the crack of dawn to see the monks walk the streets for alms. The night before we went to the market to buy some fruit to offer to the monks. I’m pretty sure they were kumquats but you never know. Everyone (all the local Laos people) were offering little bits of sticky rice. Come to find out that’s what we should have done. There were so many younger monks and apparently one didn’t like our fruits, because when he saw that Monica had the same thing as me after I placed my offering in his bucket he quietly closed his alms lid and didn’t take the fruit from Monica haha!

On our last full day we walked across a sketchy little bamboo bridge to cross the river. I swear I though my fat butt was gonna fall through more than a few times, but it lead us across town to a residential area. This was my favorite part because we were able to get away from all the tourists and snoop on how the locals lived. Not surprisingly it was very poor but everyone had a warm smile and hello as we walked by. Except for a group of little kids that decided it would be funny to kick and punch our legs. Just when I though I’d had enough of that last school year. Rascals. Let’s be real I’m pretty sure “little shits” is what was actually said. How am I even a teacher for children!?

If Vang Vieng supplied us with the nastiest place to stay, Luang Prabang gave us the WORST commute back into Thailand. It took us 13 hours as our mini van driver was speeding around sharpe curves, only to slow to a snails pace in a blink of an eye. All this winding our way through the mountains in the dark. We would take turns so fast I almost fell out of my seat multiple timesuntil I just held on to the little handle in front of me. And if I wasn’t about to fall into the aisle, my butt was leaving my seat because the driver was speeding over the pot holes and small rocks like a maniac. I’m surprised we didn’t blow a tire or swerve off the road. I didn’t sleep a wink until we randomly pulled over to the side of the road at 2am and took a nap for about two hours before we barreled our way though the mountains again.

The AC didn’t work and they had all the windows closed. Not to mention they overbooked by two people. But because this is Asia and there are no road rules we fit two to a seat in the front, and then out of nowhere our driver whipped out another seat and placed it in front of me. The entire drive the seat kept sliding back trapping my legs sideways against my seat. For 13 hours!! I was getting car sick and began to panic because I was hot and feeling claustrophobic that I had to open the windows. All was better in the world but only slightly because I still had a Japanese guy crushing my legs with his portable unbolted chair. It took us 21 hours to get to Chiang Mai. 21 HOURS PEOPLE!!!

I’m currently in bed with only my thumbs moving to type this. I desperately need a shower and to wash some clothes but that has yet to happen.

So far it’s been and exciting start to this adventure. We are in Chiang Mai for a week just in time for the Thai New Years where everyone stops what they are doing and has a huge water fight in the streets for three days. At least we’ll be cool 😎.

Peace and blessings from a Japanese crushed traveler ❤️🕉.

P.S. All boys in Laos ride hella motor scooters looking like Ruffio from Hook. Same haircut and is either dyed red or green. My eyes have never been happier.

[talesofayoungadventress]

Another day, another visit to the hospital. This time for stomach issues. For the past two weeks it has hurt to eat. I figured it would go away on its own but sadly I was wrong. So tonight, I ventured out and ended up having a scope shoved down my throat so they could take a peak at the tummy. Now let me tell you, this is by far the yuckiest thing I’ve had to do. It even beats out the feeling of the dentist pulling out band aids from when I had my wisdom teeth done. And that was some gross shit. Now if you are squeamish I suggest you jump ship right now because things are about to get gross. First of all I had to wait there 6 hours before they could do the scope because I had eaten a piece of toast and they needed it to digest. They gave me the option to either wait until 10:00 or come back tomorrow morning at 5:00. Like hell I was gonna do that so I opted for 10:00. While there they refused to let me walk anywhere and wheeled my sorry butt all over that dang hospital in my pepto pink scrubs. I was lookin’ fresh as f*ck. When it was time to get the job done they wheeled me away on one of those uncomfortable hospital beds and covered me in a blanket that was just actually a massive white towel. The doctor came in, explained they were going to spray numbing stuff down my throat and place the tube into my stomach for ten to fifteen minutes. She kept telling me “You’ll be fine, don’t panic. You’re okay.” I wasn’t worried at all until she kept trying to reassure me. Did I have something to worry about!? It sure freaking sounded like it. She sprayed a boat load of stuff down my throat, and told me not to breath it in. It not only made my throat numb but it also felt like my throat had swollen shut. “No panic you’re okay…” 😑 No. No I’m not. They rolled me onto my side and I had a clear view of the screens where it’d show my stomach. Just like an episode of ER. I was ready. But unlike T.V. it was all very unglamorous and really really disgusting. I wanted to be put down at one point because I was so miserable. I was given a piece of plastic that kept my mouth open, and then they got to shoving the tube all up in there. They kept telling me to swallow it but everything in my body was protesting it. I literally got sick and just had to lay there in it as they continued the journey downwards. There is nothing worse than laying in your own spit up (let’s be real here bile) while watching and feeling a massive tube go all the way down into your stomach as they twist that baby all around. At least that’s what I thought until they started PULLING OFF LITTLE CHUNKS OF MY STOMACH with what looked like one of those little silver claw things you use to get pickles out of a jar. And this my friends is when I wanted to be put down. So there I was. My face laying in what I spit up while I watched them look around and take out pieces of my stomach. After about fifteen horrible gagging minutes they were done, wheeled me out into the hall and left me there. I bet that’s how people in Naked and Afraid feel. All kinds of jacked up. The doctor finally came back around and told me I either had a crap ton of acid in my stomach or bacteria that’s causing the beginning stages of an ulcer. What in the actual hell people, an ulcer!! She gave me photo copies of the pictures that she took of the inside of my stomach (why, I don’t know) and said she gave me medication until the biopsy comes back. FYI one of the medications is for anxiety, (again why? Who knows) that is banned in the US sooooo… On Friday I’m leaving for a 40+ day backpacking trip around Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia and I’ll be damned if I let this stop me or ruin this trip. If I don’t come back it’s because I’ve died and been buried somewhere in SE Asia. Love from a hospital in Thailand ❤️🏥

[talesofayoungadventress]

🌞 🌞 🌞 🌞

So much sun. So much clear blue water. I’m pretty sure I survived all last week by consuming nothing but mango smoothies and banana Nutella roti.

Last week after grading and submitting final scores, I decided to dip out of Bang Bon and head to the south to hop around the islands.

Monica and I went to Krabi, Koh Lanta, Koh Phi Phi, and Phuket. Out of all of them, Koh Lanta was by far my absolute favorite, and the islands around Koh Phi Phi were the prettiest. Nothing beats warm clear blue water.

While in Krabi, Monica and I decided to climb 1,237 steep ass steps while it was hotter than actual hell. I made sure to take a picture of the sign so it could be used in my obituary as to what killed me, and then sent a quick prayer to God, Buddha, Muhammad, Zeus… Basically anyone that would listen to make sure they quickly carried my fat dead butt up and away to a place full of tacos and tequila once I died mid climb. Thankfully it didn’t come to death, although for a split second it felt like it. After 45 minutes and lots of sweat we made it up to the top and relished in the view and slight breeze… JK this is Thailand and there’s no such thing. Wind and cool weather are for wussies. But the view was pretty awesome.

After Krabi we went to Koh Lanta, which is a slow hippy island and nothing but good times. We stayed in a hostel right on the beach and right behind the most fun Bob Marly reggae bar owned by an older man named Ronaldo with massive dreads. We spent the night drinking free beer and talking with Ronaldo and the guys that work there. Ronaldo offered us jobs at the bar for when we were done teaching and had the month after off. I’m not even lying, if I was staying a year I would 100% take him up on that offer and spend my last month in Thailand workin’ in an awesome bar on an even more awesome island with the BEST company. I really wish we could have spent more than two nights here.

Koh Phi Phi was next up. Now you all may be thinking “Wow! No accidents since the massive fall and monkey bite!” And trust me, I was too!But that must have jinxed me, because while on the end of our island tour in our little wooden boat over packed with people the action started. We stopped to watch the sunset in the middle of the ocean. So pretty and still feeling so high on life that I didn’t get sea sick at all. As the sun finally set, we still continued to sit. And sit. Until someone stated “The sunset is over we can go…” Only our battery had died and we couldn’t.

As it got darker I couldn’t help but mentally make titanic jokes, compare myself to The Life of Pi, or one of those “In the arms of the Angels….” Sarah McLachlan battered dog commercials where for a simple donation of $5 a month you too could save a life. In this case mine and Monica’s life. Because we were stranded at sea. At least I had wifi. After about an hour sitting in the dark, two more long tail boats came to jumpstart our boat. Once it started our group split up between the three boats. Monica and I moved boats, and as we watched our old boat sail away we began to follow. Only to immediately stop because the other rescue boat now had a bum engine that would not start 😑. Happy to say I survived, Monica didn’t drown, and we continued our night in Koh Phi Phi where I got a bamboo tattoo and of course a mango smoothie and banana Nutella roti.

The last place we went was Phuket, which if I’m being honest wasn’t my favorite. We just stayed on the wrong part of the island where not much was going on. I heard it was full of older people with condos so I was determined to find my Mimi a new man so the family couple reap the benefits of his condo. Instead it was just loads of older Russians, which is perfectly fine but let’s be honest here… always makes me immediately think of the mafia, Putin, arms dealers, Putin, and movie villains. I decided Mimi ain’t got time for that so the new man and condo was a no go. Phuket had me wishing I had canceled the two days there and stayed longer in Koh Lanta, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

So this week was spent doing absolutely nothing. I went to immigration today for about 1,000 hours and then came home to where my place is still way too hot and still stinks way too much.

Only two and a half more weeks left here in Bang Bon before I start to travel and then leave for home. I swear it still feel like I just left home to come here.

Love from Thailand 😎🌞✌🏽️

[talesofayoungadventress]

All good things must come to an end.

And whether I like it or not, the end has unfortunately come for me to say goodbye to these little nuggets.

During my goodbye speech I had a full blown ugly Kim Kardashian cry and then went about my day lovin’ on all these kiddos. I sure am going to miss all the things they get up too. It’s not everyday I get to confiscate knives, have poems written about poop, or have the freedom to teach however and just about whatever I want. To say I’m going to miss these kids and this school is a giant understatement, I just hope my kids and co workers know just how much they mean to me and have changed me for the better.

So just because I’m sure I have the best Thai students in all of the land of smiles, here is a post dedicated to them. Sad I have a limit of only ten pictures because I have so many I would love to share with you all.

Love from Thailand ❤️🐘✌🏽️

[talesofayoungadventress]

Last week of school!

How in the heck have I already reached this point!? I swear it seems like just yesterday I was planning this adventure out and boarding a plane, and then freaking out about how many students I was going to have. And look at me now. Lovin on all 800 kids, even the naughty ones.

Today was the start of the last week of classes before finals, and I couldn’t be more sad. This just means that my time here in Thailand is quickly coming to an end, and I’m just not ready for that. These kids and this country have been the absolute best thing for me, and I’m clinging on to every last second I have.

Besides teaching these crazy kids, I’ve started playing volleyball with some other teachers the past few weeks. After the first two days I was definitely sore. Since when does that happen!? Pretty sure the old creaks kicked in when I turned 26, because according to my sister “30 is on the horizon and it’s all down hill from there.” Apparently we have a game tomorrow, and we get to leave school early to kick a bunch of other teacher’s butts on their home turf because that’s how we roll. I forgot just how much I love to play. I may have to find a pickup team when I get home.

So for the past two weeks I’ve been accident free 🙌🏽 (YAASS Lord!) Although my shoulder still hurts a bit and I’m pretty sure I have scar tissue in my lips where my tooth went through, I’m feelin pretty good.

Last week we had Thursday and Friday off so we went up north to Petchabun.

Petchabun is a very sleepy place, and doesn’t have much to do except see the temple a town or so over, which is why we took our trip up there. Now I’ve seen my fair share of temples here in Thailand, I think there’s one on just about every other block, but this by far is the prettiest one I’ve been to. Whoever crushed the Thai porcelain plates and cups to mosaic this place is my hero. I will spend all my money and rob both Coast Hills and Rabo Bank to hire them to mosaic my house back home because I’m literally OBSESSED!! I’m not one to take and post photos of myself, but you best better believe Monica and I had an America’s Next Top Model photo shoot where we smized the hell out of life. Tyra Banks would be proud 💁🏽.

Now seriously take the time to look at this mosaic one more time. LOOK AT IT! Last night I sat in bed just looking at all the pretty colors like a freak thinking “Is this Pinterest DIY doable…?” “I could totally do this right?” No. The answer is no. I’m 100% sure this would be a Pinterest fail.

To welcome incoming students/showcase our school we had open house last week and it was freaking awesome. Each classroom was decorated by the students, and they they were able to sell things and food in the rooms or hallways. I bought a mini cactus and key chain from my favorites, because let’s be real here all teachers have favorites. And if they tell you otherwise they be lyin’.

My lady boys were on point for open house. I love them so much. I have two in particular that come to class every week with mascara and red lipstick on and they are just SO DAMN FIRECE. And they’ve got booty poppin’ skillz for daaayys! Beyoncé better watch out because Wave and Palm are out there.

Now that school is just about over, I plan on exploring more of my area and Bangkok. Then once April comes I’m starting my backpacking trip through SE Asia with Monica.

Starting April 1 we will be down south island hopping 😎✌🏽️, and then move our way up to explore the east of Thailand —–> Chiang Rai —–> Chiang Mai —–> Pai… Only to move on to Laos —–> Vietnam —–> and ending our trip in Cambodia in May. Then I’ll be flying home May 14. Let’s hope I don’t run out of money. Or have anymore accidents.

Happy Valentine’s Day ❤️.

Love from Thailand ✌🏽️🌺🐘

P.S. Had my last rabies shot today yay!!

P.P.S. I think the hot season is upon us… Weather app claimed a nice 93 degrees today but “feels like 105” with 65% humidity. Hot as balls people. Hot as balls.

[talesofayoungadventress]

When it rains it pours.

That’s the old saying right? Once again I had plans for a quiet blog free week until life decided I needed just one more accident.

Thursday morning I went back to my apartment for my iPod and to talk to the landlord about the smell coming from my bathroom pipes. FYI it smells like something has died in there. After I was done talking, I stepped out of the office and didn’t notice maintenance was mopping. And when I say mopping, I’m pretty sure they had just poured out a huge bucket of water. The ground was so wet, and I slipped so hard and fast on the tile that I didn’t even have time to throw my arms out to brace the fall. I landed flat on my face. Mouth first.

I wish you all could have seen this. The water bottle I was carrying flew clear across the parking lot, and I just lied there. Face down. Waiting for the ground to open and take me away. That is, until I realized that my mouth was bleeding and I realized I hit the ground so hard I may have knocked a tooth out. Pulling my sorry butt up off the ground, I noticed that my arm wasn’t quite right. I used my other one to slip that baby back to where it was suppose to be, and quickly went to the window to make sure I still had a tooth, and if so was it cracked. There is nothing I hate more than the dentist (sorry, Debbie), so having the possibility of dental work out here in Thailand had me wanting to pass out. Luckily, my front tooth was still there 🙌🏽

I went back up to my room to asses the damage (my tooth went through my lip), and just sat on my bed trying to talk myself down… “This is karma for playing with those f*ckin’ monkeys when mom said no.” By this point I could already feel my lips swelling and decided that I might as well make my way back to school because there was nothing else I could do.

Once I got in the office everyone knew what had happened. Apparently the landlord called the school to inform them that a “foreign teacher” had fell. I told them all what had happened, we laughed about it, and then I just sat there. In pain. All the while my lips kept on swelling. Thank god it was Friday when I only teach two classes at the end of the day, one of which had been canceled.

I’ve spared you all the ugly swollen face pics, but you best better believe I text them all to my family. And once again just like with last weekends monkey bite, that amazing sibling support came through. Anna: “Your lips are huge. You look like Jay Z. Monica’s eyebrows are on point in this picture though.” At one point during the day, the swelling had gotten so bad that a coworker gave me a face mask to wear. One of the ones they they use to cover their face when sick. Like the SARS outbreak. I joked “haha it must be bad.” I didn’t get a response. It was THAT bad.

On the plus side we had a school New Years party, 20 some days late, and I won a blanket. AND I got to see my older coworker cut a freakin rug in our dance circle. Beau, if you’re reading this, she loves 80’s rock and I’m inviting her to next Yule Ball.

Lucky for me I had to go to the hospital for my next rabies shot the following day. When I woke up I was hurting. I got my rabies shot and had a meeting with a doctor that would not stop rotating my arm and shoulder informing me to say “ow” when it hurt so he could “check for the pain.” Then I went to get an X-ray and was promptly put into a sling ten minutes later. I have to say after visiting the hospital a few times here in Thailand, they have really good health care and service. My check in, shot, chat with the Doctor, X-ray, sling, drugs (they gave me muscle relaxers 😎) and payment probably took about an hour and a half. Take note America.

The same day, Saturday, I went to a music festival and was very glad that my swelling had gone down. But party rocking with a sling is the worst. I saw some great bands, had some really cool dudes make me a drink, and got a cute embroidered top from the nicest girl named Mari and her mom. All in all, not a bad day.

Next weekend is another quiet one with a wedding for a coworker. But you all see how my quiet weekends go, so who knows what will happen. I’ll probably catch something on fire during the wedding. Or choke.

One armed love from Thailand ❤️✌🏼️🐘

[talesofayoungadventress]

So. Many. Monkeys.

After being sick all week, I was all set for an easy day trip. I was going to Lop Buri for the weekend to see the monkey temple. Now when you google this temple you see tons of pictures of the annual monkey festival as well as people holding the monkeys.

The first thing my mom told me when she heard I was going was to say away from the monkeys. In words as well as in all emojis. All week I’d receive texts saying to just say no because I didn’t have my rabies shot. “Yeeeahhhh okaayyy, mom!” I’d always tell her.

Believe it or not I was actually set on following orders. Even when I first got to the temple… until I saw the Kit Kat people. I blame them for what turned into a day long fiasco.

As I was walking the temple grounds, still following 🙅🏽🐒 rules, I saw a Chinese couple feeding the monkeys bags full of Kit Kat bars. I literally stood there a full five minutes having an inner monologue with myself… “Why are you wasting precious Kit Kats on monkeys!? My fav!” “Why are you letting them climb on you, do you have your rabies shots!? Do you know the risks!?” “HOW ARE THEIR TINY HUMAN MONKEY HANDS OPENING WRAPPERS AND BRAKING CANDY SO FAST!?” At this point I must have decided that if the Chinese Kit Kat couple could do it so could I, because as soon as a tour guide came over and asked if I was scared of the monkeys I shouted a quick “HA, no!” and let him lead me away to a place where “many monkeys like to be.”

“Sit on the stairs, many monkey come to play” he said. I’m sure you all can guess what I did. Mistake #1

While Monica stayed a safe distance away, I tossed her my phone and asked her to get pictures. Now it was all fun and games at first until the little bastard on the left decided to chomp down. TWICE! My shouted ouch made Monica have a look on her face that screamed “You idiot!” At this point the world went black. All I heard was my mom’s voice saying not to mess around with the monkeys and the countless 🙅🏽🐒, 🏃🏽🐒 texts.

With eyes that I’m sure looked like a wild bush baby I asked our guide if I’d have to get a rabies shot. He didn’t understand so I just kept saying “I die, I die!? Need shot!?” While pointing at my arm probably looking like I was shooting up heroin rather than acting out an actual shot. “Oh, no! You live, you live. I get bite everyday and I live. Let’s go see Buddha, dressing later” all while smiling and laughing.

On our way to see Buddha, I had become the Pied Pier. It was probably the bite. They could sense it I’m sure. I had six monkeys trying to climb my dress while a ton of other hood rats followed behind.

After kicking off monkeys, looking at the Buddha as well as inside the temple, which was full of bats, we were ready to leave. Our guide reminded me he was going to “clean my wounds” and then we could leave. I couldn’t resist asking them all just one more time “No shot?” They all agreed no shot.

As we walked away I blurted out to Monica that I was going to google rabies. Because the best way to find medical info is through WebMD, right? 😒 She quickly shut that idea down and said I’d probably just scare myself. Mistake #2.

I googled. I shouldn’t have but I did. As we took a break on the grass I googled ‘Lop Buri monkey rabies.’ Now a whole hell of a lot popped up. Not only stories of people getting rabies, but stories of HIV! What the actual hell! Can monkeys even do that!?“ The answer is no. I know that. So many times I wish I could have a soundtrack play accordingly as I live life. This was one of those times… R Kelly’s “My minds telling me NOOO! But my body, my body’s telling me YESS!” was blaring loudly in my head.

All the while Monica looks peaceful on the grass during my mental turmoil.

“Monica is this the rabies I feel coursing through my arm or a guilty conscious?” Her reply… “Rabies. Serves you right.” Shade at its finest. My brother wasn’t any better. You’ll probably die was his response. I had a real support team that day.

After a train ride home, I decided to go to the hospital just in case. After embarrassingly explaining what had happened, the nurses laughed, asked me to explain it again (I KNOW they understood me the first time 😒), and then I was whisked away to a room and waited for my shot.

Once again I found myself wishing for a soundtrack to life. I looked at Monica and sang “When you try your best but you don’t succeed…”

The whole time I was waiting, I was wondering how the heck I was going to break the news to Momma Carol. Should I call her that night so she could be mad and not be able to call me after because I’ll be asleep? Or should I call the day after and have her be able to angry text me all day? I’m pretty sure you all can guess which one I chose. And FYI she was PISSED! She even used “the F word” twice haha. I tried winning her over with the cute monkey pics. She said they were hideous. Actually her exact words were “They aren’t even cute. Not even the babies with the mom.” Luckily her anger quickly turned to annoyance. She ended the call “I’m mad, but I guess I’ll still love you.” You a 💯 momma.

Anyways, I’ll be getting four more shots. And spending a lot of money for those four shots.

And not that I’m ready to play with monkeys again anytime soon, BUT if I was to dabble around again I’m pretty sure I should be good to go because I now have my rabies vaccine 💁🏽

Love and rabies from Thailand 🙉🙈🙊

[talesofayoungadventress]

สวัสดีปีใหม่ 2559! (Happy New Year 2016!)

This is the second attempt at this blog post. The other was deleted. Just sittin’ over here pissed.

Happy New Year, everyone! It still cracks me up that the Thai go by the year of Buddha making the year so far ahead.

We had a few extra days off for the holiday so I made my way up North to Chiang Mai. Because I’m cheap, Monica and I decided to take a bus. A long *cheap* 10 hour over night bus. That day we were all blessed with the director announcing a half day, so Monica and I left soon after we told the kids to get lost and made our way into the city to wait for our bus. We ended up coming across the coolest little park. At first glance you all may be thinking this park looks like drugs, needles in the grass, more drugs, with a sprinkle of how the hell do they get up so high to paint!? I know for a split second I was until I decided it was the coolest place. All the walls surrounding the park were covered with graffiti. And none of that downtown SM gang bullshit either. Instead people put actual effort into their “art.” Was some of it weird, hell yeah but that’s what made it so cool.

I’ve come to realize that Thailand is super conservative and strict about some things, but then often don’t give a crap about others… Like when a park full of young guys spray paint all over park walls in broad daylight. Or traffic laws. I’m convinced drivers do what they want here. Monica and I decided to sit ourselves on the grass and watch the guys spray paint. You may have noticed the attractive guy in the picture. He’s a Palestinian version of Andrew Garfield and I’m currently planning our wedding. You’re all invited. As I always say my theme is Tacos & Tequila so you’re in for a good time.

We arrived in Chiang Mai around 8:00 in the morning on New Year’s Eve. Monica and I walked around the Old City, shopped, ate some food, saw some temples, and then ate some more food. Just so you all know I’m pretty sure I can eat my body weight in mango sticky rice. Comin’ home a whale 🐋 y'all. For dinner we went to a place called Chiang Mai Saloon. There weren’t any tables left so we sat with two mid aged British guys and their Thai friend Lak. She had the weirdest accent mix of British, Thai, and American.

Now if I had a dollar for every old white dude I’ve seen creepin’ around bars and the streets with younger Thai women I’d have a million dollars. It’s so damn gross, and the way they stare at you actually makes me want to punch them in the face. After the third “Hey come in the bar,” I started giving the bird. I actually saw a man older than my grandma with three girls younger than me on his lap. Luckily the guys at dinner weren’t the creeper kind.

After dinner we headed to the old city wall. Hundreds and hundreds of people were letting paper lanterns into the sky. I wish I could have gotten a better picture but I guess some things are just meant to be enjoyed in the moment and saved as a memory.

New Year’s Day was the best. And I mean The. Freaking. Best. Anyone that knows me knows I LOVE LOVE LOVE elephants. So much so I have one tattooed on me. So New Year’s Day was spent at an elephant sanctuary. I’m pretty sure this will be the best New Year’s Day for the rest of my life. I even joked with Monica saying best day of my life… future wedding, sorry hubby you second place. Birth of possible future kids… byyyeeee ✌🏼️you know 🐘 are still #1.

Now that you all know what a horrible future wife and mother I’ll be, let’s get to the good bits. I’ve been researching elephant sanctuaries for years. YEARS people! It was just another place to visit on my always growing “places to see” list. Elephant Nature Park is where we ended up. This park is a no ride sanctuary and is nothing but rescued elephants from the illegal logging industry, street begging, or tourist shows. Most of them had broken backs from carrying tourists in baskets all day (never ride in baskets, only their necks can support that much weight for rides if you choose to do so) or had broken legs from logging. Many are still receiving care for their injuries. Luckily they are very well taken care of by vets and volunteers and have formed their own herds amongst themselves. They are very happy and free to roam on their 300 acres.

The next day we went to the Chiang Mai Grand Canyon. This is the mini horse version of the US Grand Canyon. Small, but still beautiful. This is also where all the cool kids grow a pair of balls and cliff jump. I sent a picture of the canyon to my mom and all she text back was “Don’t you jump!” She’ll be happy to know I was a wuss and stayed put.

This week I had some time to slow down and realize just how extremely happy I am here in Thailand. All of the girls have extended their contracts to stay a year and I wish more than anything that I could extend with them. Knowing that I only have 4 more months here kills me. I’m just making the most of the time that I have left. It’s amazing at how fast a foreign place can feel like home, and how quickly strangers can become good friends. My little Thai life is making me happier than anything else in the world right now.

Here’s to hoping 2559/2016 brings loads of adventure, love, and happiness to me and to you all!

Love from Thailand ❤️🐘

P.S. The weather in Chiang Mai was the best! I didn’t even sweat and at one point even uttered the words “I’m cold.” Granted it was almost 2:00 AM but still. The weather Lord is real.

P.P.S. Bamboo tattoo shops are everywhere. Came sooo close to getting one this weekend.

[talesofayoungadventress]

Not much has been happening at school because we have had tons of time off for midterms 🙌🏽 That means more time to travel and read my People Magazine sexiest man alive issue… Looking good as always, David Beckham 😍.

So unfortunately my birthday has arrived. I’m now a member of the back end of the twenties. RIP to my youth. Over the years I’ve never really done big birthday celebrations and instead usually have simple get togethers with a few close friends and family for lunch or dinner. But this year I decided to go big. As I should because I’m in Thailand. That’s been my excuse for everything. “Eat more, Meg you’re in Thailand.” Or “Go ahead and buy it, you’re in Thailand.” So with the extra time off I decided to spend the weekend before my birthday on Koh Samet, an island just off the coast.

Best. Decision. Ever.

I MEAN LOOK AT THAT FREAKING WATER! Not to mention it was warm. The Pacific Ocean lacks in comparison.

My friend and I arrived in the middle of the night to our hostel, Naga Bungalows, and was greeted with a hot pink mosquito net (still got bites 😒). Nothin’ fancy, but it got the job done.

Now my friend Monica sleeps like the dead. Really. We’ll be on the bus and she’ll be asleep within five minutes. No matter how far or short of a trip. I swear I’ve seen this girl sleep while standing up… So lucky for her she wasn’t alive enough to hear the intense cat fight outside our room in the middle of the night, or the bird attempting to break its way through our glass window, or the people hacking at the tree literally up against our wall. Must be nice.

The whole weekend was spent lounging on the beach, swimming, watching Monica attempt to swim, and some boozing. We had an awesome bar across the street from our hostel that has loads of glow paint that everyone paints on themselves. So much black lighting. So much tequila. At some point in the night I decided my drink wasn’t enough and ordered a tequila bucket, which is literally a drink in a child’s beach pail. Jesus take the wheel. I was hurtin’ the next day. 🙃

At some point in the night we found a litter of puppies. I was obsessed. I think I even cried a little. I’m pretty sure the power of that tequila bucket was at its peak at this point. I waned them all. I was content on staying there all night until a random man came up, fed them little wieners from his 7-11 bag and announced “I’m from Iran give me your number we can hang out.” HOW ABOUT NOO! Killed all the puppy vibes.

The next night we went to a fire show, and once again found the puppies. No tears this time, but the owner drove by and asked if I wanted one. Mentally I was screaming “YAASSS!” But I was a responsible adult and turned him down.

I’ve officially retuned home last night tanned and relaxed 😎. We went to the bank today and Micky asked if I had a good time. When I said yes she responded with “Hhmm, you darker.” Knowing the lighter the better here in Thailand I joked “Am I ugly now Micky?” She just gave me a simple “Why you like?” LOL. Micky never fails to crack me up.

Christmas is coming up and I’m a hungry beezy and would kill for some Christmas cookies right now. I was gearing up for a Christmas alone this year which upset my mom, but luckily my cousins are here for a visit and I’ll be meeting them Christmas Eve and spending all Christmas Day with them. Everything happens for a reason.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! I’ll be thinking of mine as they eat loads of 🌮🌯 with the Martin family.

Love from Thailand 🐘

P.S. TMI buuut squat toilets still suck. It’s my mission to use them and NOT get pee everywhere by the time I leave.

[talesofayoungadventress]

This week was definitely difficult student wise, and the fact that I wasn’t home for Thanksgiving or my best friends baby shower only increased my frustration and annoyance. Although I was throwing myself a mini pity party, I was happy that I was able to “have dinner” with my family on Thanksgiving through Skype and show them around my school. As for Taylor’s baby shower, although I missed it I’ll be coming home in full baby mode ready to spoil little baby E with love and gifts. Although I have more than a few classes full of little shits, I have to keep reminding myself that the majority of them are good, and remind me of why I love to teach. This week I had my higher level students write what they were thankful for as part of my Thanksgiving lesson. It wasn’t until the following day that I saw what one of my students had wrote about me. It was definitely a good slap across the face to remind me that I have some really f*ucking awesome students, and that not every day is going to be perfect or enjoyable. It’s not something I can control. As my mom says “Let it go, Meghan.” Smart woman that Carol ❤️ Moms are always right, folks. What I can control is how much I let the exhaustion and frustration effect me. Just as I told myself this past school year, I can’t let one (or in this case a few) bad apples ruin all of the good I am surrounded by. I’m so lucky to be here, I need to stop stressing and remember that.

Ok, now that all of the depressing stuff is out of the way, let me tell you about all the AMAZING things that happened this week!

First of all my neighbor Shirley and her hubby Billy are absolute treasures. They live a few houses down and honestly they are more like family than just simply my neighbors. During the peak of my annoyance and frustration, I received a goodie box from them in the mail 🙂 Thanks for all of my things, especially the bug spray. I’ve been using that stuff religiously. I’m so lucky to have you two around. xoxo TTMAB ❤️☮🌝

This past Wednesday was Loy Krathong. It’s a holiday that celebrates the water spirits and allows you to wash away all the negativity by releasing a krathong, or floating lantern, into a body of water while making a blessing or wish. To celebrate at our school they dressed us up in traditional Thai outfits, and created a “river” by filling up one of our hallways with water. Some of the students helped dress us up and did our hair. We had so much fun getting ready and spent way too much time taking pictures. The whole week before was spent getting ready for Loy Krathong by making tons of floating lanterns. On Monday we helped some of the students. The detail that goes into these babies and the speed at which they get them done is incredible. The entire time I was folding the banana leaves, I just kept hearing the farmer from Babe in my head “That’ll do pig, that’ll do.” Basically I was a peasant and the girls were all on the Toddler and Tiaras grand supreme level.

After the celebration at school, we went into the city to watch the fireworks and release more floral krathongs into the river. I swear I’m like a bird and love all things shiny and sparkly, so of course the fireworks were my favorite. And the flowers. Flowers are always the best. They also masked the “smell of Thailand,” which is a constant mixture of fish, food, trash, and sulfur.

Next week I have been invited to help out on a field trip to “camp” at Kao Yai National Park. I was excited to camp was informed by the English director “Ohhhh noooo. We hotel. No camp.” 😑 So much for camping. But whoohoo free trip!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. You all better start getting ready for Christmas. I can’t wait to force my kids to sing Christmas songs.

Love from Thailand 😎✌🏼️

P.S. We found Mexican. And it wasn’t even that bad.

P.P.S. Supposedly it’s the cold season… meanwhile I’m still over here hot as balls.