taroguts - Tumblr blog

[taroguts]

Gum disease is embarrassing

[taroguts]

and sometimes i feel like i’m living my life in the third person; there is something controlling me and it is rotting inside. i feel like i live to tell my experiences rather than to experience life itself. my insides feel stained with dirt i have never tasted before yet it has planted itself deep within my stomach and it’s rapidly spreading through me. i do not know what it is. and i must cleanse myself of it in any way i can - but i don’t know how to or who to ask for help

-a

[taroguts]

wearing my human skin as if nothing is wrong , even when it starts to slip i pretend not to notice when they start to scream and cry i stay still its almost as if im trying to pass off as one of them even though they know what i am now , a freak , a monster , something unnatural , something they hate and want to destroy, they burn my flesh off with their fire, tear my guts out with there spears , till i am reduced to a bloody mess laying next to the skin i used to wear

[taroguts]

I'd kill for bare body contact

Warmth.

[taroguts]

& words are all that i have

but it isn’t enough

so i photograph

but it isn’t enough

so i film

but it isn’t enough

so i paint

but it isn’t enough

so i sculpt

but it isn’t enough

so i dance

but it isn’t enough

so i sing

but it isn’t enough

so i perform

but it isn’t enough

& words are all that i have

— to describe you

[taroguts]

[taroguts]

[taroguts]

I made a little zine!

You can download and print it yourself here

[taroguts]

I won't read your book of obligations no matter how necessary.

I need my red book,

he will take me far away from here,

far away from you,

of the real and rotten.

He will lead me to eternal life,

where I have no rest,

where I love abundantly,

where I drink exclusively in imagination,

where my passion about fairy tales take me.

Where I become complete, like I've never been.

[taroguts]

On becoming someone else

i. War of the Foxes, Richard Siken / ii., v., viii., xi. Leisure, Hannah, Does Not Agree with You, Hannah Gamble / iii. unknown / iv. Mimmo Paladino / vi. Book 20e, In between here and there, Beata Wehr / vii. unknown / ix. unknown / x. @heartlessqueen

[taroguts]

i suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.

Time Is A Mother, Ocean Vuong // The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky // The Cow, Ariana Reines // Ask Polly, Heather Havrilesky // October, Mary Oliver // Dead Stars, Ada Limón // Night Walk, Franz Wright// Xenotransplantation, Sam Sax // Angels In America, Tony Kushner // Birthday, Andrea Gibson (thank you @saint-garbage, i have zero idea whether they are poems or quotes for most of them, so i can't help out there, forgive me, i'm trying my best)

for @shestrying

[taroguts]

- unknown (unable to find credits)

[taroguts]

I'm a child. Why must I be expected to stop acting like one before you've told me what it takes to be an adult.

- fifteen year old me

[taroguts]

“A cage went in search of a bird.”

— Franz Kafka

[taroguts]

[taroguts]