tarynkurt

[tarynkurt]

22

years now. it’s beginning to become a sizeable amount of time, and yet still so little when compared. i haven’t much new to say that i haven’t already been echoing around my mind of late, and i certainly didn’t find as grand celebration as last year. it wasn’t needed. the day was enjoyed, and ended still in good music and vibes at a spontaneous club, so i did the youthful thing still. and had great fun.

but as usual it’s back to my focus. musical work has been slower this week as i spend time consolidating, mostly working on this page, and then seeing friends. i’m blessed to have been able to return to london and stay with my beloved, and now have been working hard to catch up with people. i’m not great at keeping in touch, so let’s make that improve.

making do with the bare essentials for my work, compared to the when one is in their complete own space, while i wait to bring all my other things back down south, is teaching me well. this year more than ever it becomes clear that creating from obstacles and limitations shall lead to better things.

and so i look inward, and continue to ask: what do i need to show, to explain the way i see? how can i form such a project that reflects the meaning i have been reaching the past few years, and the feelings they present?

just you wait and see

i have good faith these days.

and learnt so much since i was that child in the photo (although i look the exact same some days)

how strange it all does feel though, especially in the wake of a birthday you almost feel this type of strange disassociation. too much awareness on the self maybe, in the alien way we created to mark time against the rhythms of our selves. the movement continues regardless, and you must accept how it flows and live true to it, as best you can.

as always, it’s hard sticking to all we set for ourselves. even today, i had to stay inside mostly and didn’t eat much or get other forms of activity in, engagements with the world that would have done me good. some days are always better than others. all the while i did engage in things that mattered to me, in a relatively productive manner. so there is a small win.

what matters is your trying each day, and your reflection at the end of them to realise what is next.

tomorrow, see the daylight and a friend.

it will be great.

[tarynkurt]

the last landscapes from aberdour :)

surpassingly, shot by me

[tarynkurt]

hazy summers day in hackney

ft nick :)

shot by me

[tarynkurt]

navigating through the dissonance

[tarynkurt]

more from aberdour

shot by me

[tarynkurt]

aberdour, fife coastal path

shot by me

[tarynkurt]

one of the many blurry nights on the roof

shot by lenka

[tarynkurt]

some reflection through the past months, as i try re-discover why i create what i create. coming to terms with our living, and trying to do better.

you can find it on youtube.com/tarynkurt as well if you fancy, but thought it worth posting the whole thing here too.

[tarynkurt]

Jumy-M Roses / 邪悪さと快活さ

[tarynkurt]

look up once in a while

[tarynkurt]

pretty ambiences

this style of video is really getting fun

i'm still there'll be plenty more :)

[tarynkurt]

tonight's spontaneous creation

pensive as always, i'm afraid

more ambient works exploring changing times

[tarynkurt]

what a hectic few weeks.

it's so hard getting let down;

one can turn quite bitter, if not careful.

i can feel such anger brewing within me toward the end of things

thoughts of what is and isn't fair,

comparisons, regret on all i have given,

and all i have endured.

lessons come in all shapes and forms,

and most have a price to pay -

what matters is how you place your feet next,

how you reflect and see things in response

how you embody yourself and still find thanks

to still keep on trying,

trusting in your own capabilities and intentions at heart,

and remaining faithful,

certain even,

that it will still, somehow, come out alright.

one step at a time

[tarynkurt]

[tarynkurt]

i’ll miss archway an awful lot

back to the woods for a while

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wandering hackney

[tarynkurt]

i'm just like everyone else,

indulging in our own bittersweet way,

seeking a relief from the monotony,

from the wheels marching endlessly forward

toward a future of delusion and chaos.

let me just take a moment

to be nothing

quietly and safely

to be within this fantasy.

maybe one day it will materialise,

the sounds i paint will encompass me,

and take me away to the better place.

maybe

i'll wait here for as long as it takes