taylorswiftgirldetective
taylorswiftgirldetective
taylorswiftgirldetective
425 posts
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 6 years ago
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LOOK WHAT’S OUT NOW!
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 6 years ago
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The official chroniclers of Taylor Swift: Girl Detective have spent the last good long while:
A) Listening to Lover on repeat, especially to the title track (and False God, and The Man, and—)
B) Undercover as a locket polisher in Cape Cod, with their eyes out for hints about upcoming albums/the new whereabouts of that pesky Jellybean Ruby
C) Writing a book about another dashing and intriguing figure, one Mr. Keanu Reeves, that comes out ON THE ACTUAL MORROW
D) all of the above.
The correct answer is D, all of the above.
#intrigue
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This illustrated collection of humorous essays and fun extras makes the case for one of our most iconic celebrities, from Bill and Ted to John Wick. For an actor who’s been in so many mega-hits and equally mega misses, it can be tough to track Keanu Reeves’s accomplishments. But true fans know that Keanu is so much more than his Bill and Ted persona, both onscreen and off. During his long career—over 30 years, though you wouldn’t know it from his immortal looks—he has constantly subverted Hollywood stereotypes and expectations. He’s the type to start his own publishing company, reread Hamlet, write a grown-up children’s book, photobomb people’s weddings, eat lunch alone in the park while looking very sad, and give away his salary to the film crew. For Your Consideration: Keanu Reeves examines the ways in which Keanu strives to be kind and excellent in work and in life. The authors also explore various Internet conspiracies about his age, help you identify which Sad Keanu meme you are, give you the Keanu and Winona Ryder fanfic your heart desires, and much, much more.
ORDER NOW: https://www.quirkbooks.com/book/your-consideration-keanu-reeves
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 7 years ago
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Calling all Van City Swifties! If you wish you meet the chroniclers of Taylor Swift: Girl Detective, sashay your way to @indigogranville today between 3 and 5 PM to pick up your copy of our new book, My Lady’s Choosing, an interactive romance novel that will have you in stitches-when it isn’t giving you the vapors. We are in from Chicago and cannot wait to meet you!
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 7 years ago
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Join your favorite errant chroniclers of intrigue over on Twitter in less than an hour!
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 7 years ago
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Who do ye choose, lass? Captain Mac awaits ye in the Highlands.
Find your fancy in My Lady’s Choosing, the romance novel that lets you pick your path, follow your heart, and find happily ever after. 
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 7 years ago
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Whilst my chroniclers have been quiet for a much-too-long moment here, I encourage you to investigate their latest foray into writing about crushworthy folk and adventure. You will hear more soon, but for now, ponder this intrigue. And, always always always, #staymysterious.
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Will this brooding beauty be your new beau? Take your caller in My Lady’s Choosing, the interactive romance novel. The book comes out on April 3, but you can pre-order your copy now!
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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Yes Walter, I’ll play nice. Get my hair done, wear a pretty dress, preen and pose for the cameras. Just like you asked me to.
But know this. Every moment, every second, my mind is on one thing and one thing alone.
You’re going down, Walter. I’m blowing this whole case wide open and there’s not a damned thing you can do to stop it.
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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Undercover 101: A sequin is a fashion statement, a blinding implement, and, in a literal pinch, a weapon. Be sequin it to win it.
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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Look, toots. Nothing in this life is free, except pain-and advance reader copies of books. 
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/261940-my-lady-s-choosing-an-interactive-romance-novel
Kitty and Larissa, the go-steady chroniclers of my past and present intrigues, got it in their heads to write a bona fide chooseable-path historical romance comedy sexcapade book. I know my way around a love quadrangle, so I guess I see the appeal. If you click the link, you can enter to win a free copy of the book before the Public can get their dirty paws on it.
Sounds damn gorgeous to me.
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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They’ve taken the bait, Constantina. 
Now all that’s left to do is reel these sick guppies in... when they least expect it.
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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“it’s a hairy situation,” I said. Harry laughed. We both sipped our coffee, which tasted like ash and unasked questions. 
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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Well aren’t you a tall drink of water?
Sure your “humble-salt-of-the-earth-paparazzi” disguise is a pathetically obvious attempt to conceal the fact that you are clearly another one of Harcourt Akin’s goons sent to trail me again. But still. You may be dumb, but you’re easy on the eyes, kid.
Now scram, before you end up deader than Old Taylor.
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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Yes, Victoria had secrets. Don’t we all?
But dear old Vicky’s secrets were different. Lurid, angry, lingerie-clad skeletons, they were hidden in the darkest closets of her very soul and clawing to break free.
She thought she had gotten away with it too. She didn’t count on me.
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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Working With a Partner 101: Get a partner who looks at fools the same way New Me looks at pastels.
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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When the going gets tough, the tough dismantle their bedazzled piano piece by piece, hide it in the floorboards of their secret autumn mansion for safekeeping, and forge a new path through the unforgiving darkness that is the new world. 
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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“You look like a blonde Beatle,” the man said, before flipping a quarter in my guitar case. It was half-past a bad midnight at the Port Authority, and I had an hour ago before a one-way bus took me out of New York and into god knows where. 
“Cheap ticket for a Beatle,” I laughed, mirthlessly, then bent my head and started to strum. I used to have teardrops on my guitar. But since The Incident, now it’s my guitar that gently weeps. 
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taylorswiftgirldetective · 8 years ago
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I had to lay low, see? Some fools, some damned fools, were trying to make me a patsy.
And if there’s going to be a patsy, well it sure as murder isn’t going to be me. 
...They found that out too late.
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