thaumasilva - Tumblr blog

[thaumasilva]

brooo it was so fucked up at the club last night bro the dj was playing straight bangers like “babbling brook ft. deep woods” and “mourning dove remix” and everyone on the dance floor stood still completely at peace with and within themselves, all still trees in the envelope of the world. at some point in the night i sat and contemplated the beauty of all things it was sick as hell man

[thaumasilva]

i think what’s on a person’s nightstand is very telling so reblog this and put in the tags the things you have on your nightstand

[thaumasilva]

A surprisingly helpful bit of social maneuvering I've figured out from trial and error: Throughout your life, you are going to need things from people. Often, it's going to be on a deadline. And when that deadline passes, you generally want to know what's going on. So, you need to ask them.

There are two kinds of people, broadly, in this situation. The Shameless will tell you what the holdup is, with absolutely no regard for if the reason is "good enough". This is actually very helpful, because you get the real reason immediately, and can start working on a solution.

The Ashamed is trickier. People who are Ashamed are people who were often told they were giving excuses when they were trying to explain, and they'll often avoid you until they solve the problem on their own. This causes them and you a lot of stress, and often takes a lot longer to solve.

Long term, the strategy for dealing with people who are Ashamed is to provide a supportive environment where they're comfortable sharing any problems they're having with getting things done. But, there's a way to at least partially short-circuit that:

Provide an explanation for them.

One example might be "Hey Susan, I noticed that I don't have your report yet. Are you busy with other projects?" The readymade explanation signals that you're willing to accept an explanation, which is the big anxiety point.

Sometimes, you still won't get an honest answer- especially if the honest answer isn't "good enough" by the standards of the person who traumatized them. But, I've found that it often at least gets you a lie that lets you give them some slack or work around the problem.

Let's say that Susan has actually completely forgotten that she needed to do the report. She's horrified at herself, and completely unwilling to admit the real problem. But, she can now safely reply with "Sorry Jennifer, I've been swamped, and it got lost in the mix. I can have it to you in two days. Does that work?"

From there, so long as Susan gave an estimate for when she can actually do it, she and Jennifer can hash out a solution.

It's not a perfect solution, but it works astonishingly well for how small of a change it is.

[thaumasilva]

seeing other queer people use words like "freak" and "degenerate" as insults is like one of the worst versions of the "it hurt itself in its confusion" meme

like, my buddy! my dude and/or not-dude! we are the freaks and degenerates! that's how society views us, and it's the side we should all want to be on!

nobody's going around handing out cookies to those of us that are the most morally pure, and trying to fit in isn't going to make them like us more! let yourself live a little, and enjoy things, and just...be weird. it's okay to be weird!

go love something strange, and be friends with odd people, and forget what normal is supposed to look like! find the part of yourself that feels anxious about being different, and tell it that it's going to be okay! and then join me at the weird kid table, because I brought pb&j to share, and I want to hear about whatever bizarre thing is rotating in your brain this week

[thaumasilva]

Cyclops gets such a rough deal man. imagine having brain damage that caused you to uncontrollably shoot laser blasts out of your eyeballs destroying everything in sight that you had to worry about literally 24/7 and also you had to supervise teenagers throwing cars at each other because your father figure and his ex are taking leftist infighting to the streets and also on top of that whenever you show any amount of concern over this situation people are like "jeez what a buzzkill. loosen up control freak. why can't you be all chill and cool like wolverine" meanwhile wolverine is having his amygdala forcibly removed by the us military for the third time this month

[thaumasilva]

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

[thaumasilva]

[thaumasilva]

maggie just wrote this and dipped like

[thaumasilva]

[thaumasilva]

my new hyperfixation yay  

[thaumasilva]

i think it’s so funny that immediately upon leaving henrietta adam just collected as many queer people as he possibly could and then lied to them about his entire life like god he is so real

[thaumasilva]

[thaumasilva]

best allies i've ever met:

-friend my age who earnestly asked his partner "oh, does he have a pituitary gland issue?" when they mentioned i was on HRT (most validating award)

-gruff older gentleman helping with the pride-themed holiday float who used she/her for me without a second thought but because he assumed i was a trans woman

worst allies i've ever met:

-middle-aged woman who upon learning i was trans immediately asked me to weigh in on some people she knows who are raising their kid as "the opposite gender" despite their "birth sex" (?????)

-middle-aged woman who upon learning i was trans got very Inspired by my Bravery and gifted me a book about the murder of a trans woman

[thaumasilva]

hercule poirot confirms that you are trans on day three of knowing you (after some frankly bizarre behavior on his part) but says nothing until the very last day you are in his acquaintance, upon which he lingers in your study, uses your correct pronouns in front of everyone, and then says some shit like "Ah-- but would I not be so presumptuous…!" and leaves immediately with a twinkle in his eye and a tap to his temple

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

[thaumasilva]

girl help I'm getting they/them'd by well-meaning people who don't know what a tomboy is

[thaumasilva]

a day on gotham twitter

-

-

-

[thaumasilva]

saying "acknowledge racism in the things you like" will have people saying things