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sometimes i feel quite silly when i attempt anything creative. in my head, i don't see the point of it because i ‘know’ i’m not a creative person, i ‘know’ my brain doesn’t come up with ingenious ideas or connections, nor does it think in beautiful metaphors or tragic emotions. hm. i’d like to be the type to think like that though. i’m hoping it’s a thing that comes with practice?? ah. well. im quite good at complaining and wallowing in self-pity and confusion though lmao

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1. Outside the Window: What’s the weather outside your window doing right now? If that’s not inspiring, what’s the weather like somewhere you wish you could be?

Cr: https://thinkwritten.com/365-creative-writing-prompts/

The clouds. The Sun. The heat. It's always the same. The skies that should be a piercing blue are always a pale grey. Now, if clouds could dance, if air currents could carry the scent of breakfast, of coffee and bread, if sunlight weren't quite so obnoxious, perhaps I would like the weather.

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24 jun 2019

oh my goodness i am such a shitty person with zero followthrough, and this tumblr is a very public, very shameful testament to that. ah. well. 

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reblog the peaceful cat™ to be blessed with eight hours of sleep and to stay sane and well-rested during finals ✨✨

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5 jun 2019; feeling sorry

i havent written anything in so long and tbh i dont think there is anything i WANT to write. i just want to write something to say that i can produce something. but i cant. or i dont think i can ughh what is wrong with me ;-;

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5 jun 2019: stuff to learn

hm also, i think i wanna actually use - or rather, write on - tumblr for a little while... I’m gonna try out a couple of MOOCs and I figured it’d be cool to compile a couple of notes from those courses because I’ve been super bored and sad lately. It’ll certainly be far more productive and less emotional+expensive than stanning... gotta replace a bad habit with a better one, right? that’s how it works? 

hey maybe this WILL turn out to be a studyblr of sorts then! or not. idk. anyhow, the MOOCs I wanna try out first:

coursera:

Learning How to Learn: Powerful mental tools to help you master tough subjects [https://medium.com/swlh/8-timeless-skills-to-learn-now-in-under-8-hours-to-change-your-life-forever-75e7b339373a}

Programming for Everybody (Getting Started with Python)

Learn to Speak Korean 1

edX: 

Microsoft: DEV262x Logic and Computational Thinking

Microsoft: DEV236x Introduction to Python: Absolute Beginner

there are other things i wanna try too - writing, drawing, storytelling... unfortunately I’m not in the habit of being creative or funny or amusing. I hope it’s something that I can become more of though. I think i’d like myself more if i was funny. I suppose that’s what this is about. I want to learn all these things just so that I can have something to like about myself. So that I can be useful and needed by other people too I guess?

it feels a little strange. a lot of art was produced as a manifestation of pain. the little snippets of beautiful writing in the writing tag is often from that place. i dont think I have it in me to make something like that. ugh but now am i romanticising pain??? it’s clear that we all prefer to not be hurt and that it’s a blessing to have lived without suffering so i really need to stfu lol

if im being honest, there’s a lot of self-sabotaging fear I guess. I’ve never accomplished anything I wanted because I never truly committed to those things. Heck, I didnt even use this tumblr in the lead up to the IB exams like I had wanted to. hm. adding to that, I’ve just always been accustomed to not saying or sharing things, of always relying on somebody else because that way, I’d never have to take on any responsibility for ANY potential backlash? actually, I think a part of it is that im always confused by what is offensive and what is not? I don’t want to be hurting anybody, especially not by accident... I’m a wuss :/ can i really overcome my wussiness to just come up with something?

oof i cant believe i always avoid saying this but most of all i just wanna do something related to music. singing, songwriting, music production... i just have ZERO background in music but there’re a lot of resources on the internet so there’s no excuse anymore. i just. need to get over myself. and suck. 

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5 jun 2019: getting over yourself

y’know what? fuck me and my inferiority complex. just because I know that there are people who are better than me at the things that I want to be good at, that shouldn’t prevent me from trying those things out anyway?? ofc there are going to be people who are talented and produce beautiful or useful things, but the world needs to be filled with trash for others to appreciate the good things too lol ALSO, people don’t generally start out already being good so i should be unafraid of producing bad things i guess??? lol idk im trying to put a positive spin on things but um. 

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i wanna try to have a THING, y’know? like how a lotta people have a THING - they’re a writer, or an artist, or a musician, or an athlete or whatever. I’m gonna turn twenty but i still don’t have a THING, mostly because of a mix of “i couldn’t be bothered cuz watching videos+sleep are already amazing”, “my parents never pushed or expected me to do anything” and “i’m too intimidated by all these already talented people to even begin to try���.

I dunno. I was thinking i should try to write for a start? It seems like the most accessible hobby to try? 🤷‍♀️

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Yuh this is the best thing ive read on this app ever. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

The best dancer debate: J-Hope vs. Jimin

Never get involved in a land dance war in Asia.

This was originally written over a year ago. I had come across multiple heated debates in forums about which member of BTS was the best dancer. Seeing this made me so angry I wrote a long rage-y rant purely to get that energy out of my body. I never posted it anywhere. I thought of it recently in another post and a bunch of you darlings expressed a desire to read it. I’ve drained a lot of the rage out of it, because that was only helpful to me in the moment of writing it, but there will probably be little notes of it here and there. ^^

There is more focus on ‘defending’ Jimin, because I was mostly seeing his abilities dismissed in favor of J-Hope. I believe this happens frequently because the average Kpop fan has little to no experience with technique and have a blindspot for what Jimin is doing on stage. However, it should be clear if you read the whole thing that J-Hope is equally valuable as a performer.

Shall we dance?

The debate about who is the best dancer in Kpop has been going on for a very long time. Now that the level of skill the trainees are starting off with is so high, the debate has become even more extreme (and more foolish). However, most of the time, groups have one dancer that is clearly the best within that group. No controversy.

Enter BTS. Enter J-Hope and Jimin. Enter the most useless/insulting argument ever~~ Who is the best dancer in BTS?

My friends, I’m here to tell you that you are wrong and you should feel bad. Okay, not really. But my blood is definitely boiling, so if you detect a hint of barely contained rage, you would be assessing the situation correctly.

Ready?

J-HOPE IS NOT THE BEST DANCER IN BTS.

GASP Still ready?

JIMIN IS ALSO NOT THE BEST DANCER IN BTS.

Let me explain why. This too-long diatribe comes to you in five parts.

Bad questions

Technique

Appeal to authority

Michael vs. Mikhail

How to be a better fan of Kpop dancers

Keep reading

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Omg the thread GREW ahh but i know nothing of cooking to add anything insightful :/

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

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Maki Naro @ The Nib

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Day 1/90

I know it’s usu 100 days of productivity but exams are literally in 90 days now and that’s all imma be focused on for now. Tbh i dunno if today was even a productive day cuz i spent it summarising stuff i already know? It felt like a waste of time, but if I hadn’t doen it, I would have felt insecure for NOT doing it, y’know? I’d be second-guessing myself, wondering if I ACTUALLY knew all the stuff or if I was just being careless or whatever. Hmm i know this isn’t really an aesthetic shot of the stuff i did today but uh it’s what i have so im just gonna throw it out into the void of the interwebs and run ahahaha

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Alright, today’s goals:

Mindmap-summarise the ENTIRE IB Chem syllabus so i know how different chapters are related and also to actually know how much content there is. I think i imagine things to be much more difficult or deeper than they actually are so it’ll help me keep my standards/expectations in check.

Do a chem paper one...

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the first post 11.02.2019

belloooo (fellow) student~

ah ok so im just scared cuz i realised that i only have like 90 days till May 2019 IB exams and ackkk im just scared k? so. to deal, i obviously decided that the best thing to do is... not deal with how scared i am by making yet another tumblr that i’ll probably stop updating in two weeks cuz procrastination and distractions are the two healthiest tools we have to deal with life??? obviously! jksdhad y am i like dis~~~

low key i kinda wanna find other people to freak out with in the lead up to IB exams and uhh so after DECADESSS of lurking, thought i might try to actually be an active participant too? IF I CAN MAINTAIN THIS tuMBLR until exams are over that’d be a sigNIFICANT personal achievement in and of itself so like. yuh. wooo. I’m gonna focus on IB HL Chem and HL Math cuz they’re the subjects i’m absolutely shit at so uh thats gonna be fun :3

hmm tbh i dun have the prettiest handwriting, i can’t draw, or do up notes in an organised way, nor do i have a study routine/habit cuz i am just THAT HORRIBLE that i can’t even scare myself into being disciplined but uh. well. i gotta start somewhere, y’know? so here i am. the bad studyblr. i’m gonna TRY tho. 

(here’s a pic of how messy my desk is rn to get into the swing of posting pics hehe)