the-mightiest-pen

[the-mightiest-pen]

Panties.. I die because of.. painties..

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

[the-mightiest-pen]

"Look, I'm glad this guy can f*ck your brains out, but please remember to put them back in your head once you're done cuddling."

[the-mightiest-pen]

Statistics that I use to motivate myself

I have a really bad case of the tinkerbells (I need applause to live) so I have these statistics I use to keep myself from getting depressed as a creator*. Here they are. They may help you as well!

In professional marketing, 5% of viewers engaging with a post is positive turnover.

5% of engagers will click the link

5% of link clickers will buy the product

On twitch, the average number of views a live stream has is between 0 and 1

According to social media professionals, 10% of users do all the posting. The other 90% may not even comment.

So if your fanfiction has 100 hits and 5 kudos, you're meeting your goals at fanfiction corp and you're getting your raise this year. If your fanfiction has 100 hits and 10 kudos you're getting a promotion.

If you make a post about your new ttrpg and it gets 20 likes, 10 reblogs, and makes 1 sale, you're doing really well!

If your stream has an average of 1 friend who drops in and chats to you occasionally, you're doing better than average. If you make it to Affiliate you are genuinely doing incredible work.

90% of online creative work is just shunting stuff into the void, and it feels so so so bleak sometimes. But remember. You're doing good at it! Your "flop post" with 3 notes is actually more attention than 90% of internet users get.

Remember not everyone clapping for you is telling you about it. <3

*these statistics are from memory and from anecdotes from various people I have met/seen posts from on the internet. I do not know or care if they are completely accurate thank you

[the-mightiest-pen]

Human: Deal.

Fey: Very well. When you return home tonight, your mother will be in pristine health again. It will be like she never fell ill at all. Even the memory of her suffering will fade…

Human: Thank you so much. She means everything to me.

Fey: I know, I know. Let’s hope the price wasn’t too much for you after all… Only time will tell.

Human: So, when do we start?

Fey: …If I may ask you to elaborate?

Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.

Fey: Yes? And you agreed?

Human: Yeah, so, when do we start?

Fey:

Fey, blushing: Ah.

[the-mightiest-pen]

1) Ha! No.

A I don't, I'm a slut for validation.

2) Whenever I have fi ished a chapter and often tok soon and will need to edit a published chapter 3 times while live.

3) Pray to whichever deity you vibe with. They won't care, but you may feel more as if you've achieved something when you haven't written a useful word in weeks.

For those who post multi-chapter fics on Ao3, let’s chat, I have questions!

1. Do you write out your whole story before posting?

A. If you do, how do you hold back from posting the whole thing?

2. How often do you post?

3. Any tips? Or things I should keep in mind while writing a multi-chapter fic?

I’m working through my first one, I’m so excited to share the story, but also… she big, what am I doing?

[the-mightiest-pen]

OMG, off course!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22907257/chapters/54753127

Here’s the thing:

Jaskier doesn’t have a horse. I mean yeah, technically he has Pegasus but in nw and most fanon media he doesn’t. The man walks at the same pace as a horse every day for twenty years. And I’m sure Geralt let him put SOME things on Roach, but probably not much. She’s Geralt’s horse and needs to carry his things AND Geralt, no one wants her to be over extended with bard stuff. So that means Jaskier carries all his stuff himself which is AT MINIMUM, his lute, notebooks, probably like 3 sets of relatively complex performing outfits and road clothes, all his fancy cosmetic stuff, a bedroll, and his METAL coin money. He also probably has first aid things like bandages and potions, frivolous things like baubles and jewelry, food, water, and probably other bard stuff like spare strings and such.

Yeah, Jask is depicted as traveling without bags but that’s just not possible. He probably carries his own essentials and as someone who backpacks— that alone is usually 20+ lbs. WITH modern technology aimed at making things lighter. Thats not counting all the fancy stuff he’s prone to and his career tools. Jaskier is probably hauling like 40-50lbs or more of stuff EVERY DAY while mostly roughing it off the land and keeping pace with a man on horseback. Oh, and this is WHILE SINGING AND TALKING the entire time. Can you imagine this man’s lung capacity? To sing and talk constantly while exerting himself?

This is all to say: Jaskier is strong as fuck and fit as hell. The thing is though, he probably doesn’t even recognize it. Yeah, he probably knows he’s got the muscle and such, but he still is largely perceived as a delicate person. He PROJECTS being delicate. Being fragile and pampered and in need of the finer things. He projects capable, but not strong. This. Is. Hilarious.

Jaskier, having already walked 12 miles at a moderate incline carrying 40lbs of stuff without breaking a sweat (it’s barely past midday): Geralt I am FRAGILE. I cannot POSSIBLY walk through this mud. (It’s like a 3 ft section) I’m not a rugged mountain man like you, I’m simply not BUILT for this!

Geralt, staring at Jaskier who’s as burly as most Witchers and has walked the path w/o Witcher training for over a decade: hm

[the-mightiest-pen]

Well, in my fic Jaskier's 'fairy godmother powers' are largely to blame. He just never thought about it too much. Sure he has a pack, it's not a very large pack, but it fits all his stuff. Guess witcher stuff is just heavier and bulkier.

Sure, he keeps up with Roach, but Roach is only walking. He's walking as well! They're both just walking.

It's not until he sees his actual fairy godmother pulling a fur-lined, calf length winter coat out of a bag the size of an average waterskin that Jaskier also goes: hm.

Here’s the thing:

Jaskier doesn’t have a horse. I mean yeah, technically he has Pegasus but in nw and most fanon media he doesn’t. The man walks at the same pace as a horse every day for twenty years. And I’m sure Geralt let him put SOME things on Roach, but probably not much. She’s Geralt’s horse and needs to carry his things AND Geralt, no one wants her to be over extended with bard stuff. So that means Jaskier carries all his stuff himself which is AT MINIMUM, his lute, notebooks, probably like 3 sets of relatively complex performing outfits and road clothes, all his fancy cosmetic stuff, a bedroll, and his METAL coin money. He also probably has first aid things like bandages and potions, frivolous things like baubles and jewelry, food, water, and probably other bard stuff like spare strings and such.

Yeah, Jask is depicted as traveling without bags but that’s just not possible. He probably carries his own essentials and as someone who backpacks— that alone is usually 20+ lbs. WITH modern technology aimed at making things lighter. Thats not counting all the fancy stuff he’s prone to and his career tools. Jaskier is probably hauling like 40-50lbs or more of stuff EVERY DAY while mostly roughing it off the land and keeping pace with a man on horseback. Oh, and this is WHILE SINGING AND TALKING the entire time. Can you imagine this man’s lung capacity? To sing and talk constantly while exerting himself?

This is all to say: Jaskier is strong as fuck and fit as hell. The thing is though, he probably doesn’t even recognize it. Yeah, he probably knows he’s got the muscle and such, but he still is largely perceived as a delicate person. He PROJECTS being delicate. Being fragile and pampered and in need of the finer things. He projects capable, but not strong. This. Is. Hilarious.

Jaskier, having already walked 12 miles at a moderate incline carrying 40lbs of stuff without breaking a sweat (it’s barely past midday): Geralt I am FRAGILE. I cannot POSSIBLY walk through this mud. (It’s like a 3 ft section) I’m not a rugged mountain man like you, I’m simply not BUILT for this!

Geralt, staring at Jaskier who’s as burly as most Witchers and has walked the path w/o Witcher training for over a decade: hm

[the-mightiest-pen]

Another small writing pet peeve:

Up until quite recently in history, sharing a bed was VERY common. Most people, unless very rich, could not afford multiple beds, let alone bedrooms.

I love sexual tension as much as the next person, but 'there was only one room left at the inn, and it only had one bed' only works in modern times (or the future, who knows).

A medieval inn is not like a hotel. Most inns would have shared, dorm-style rooms, The cheapest option was literally just a room where you could sleep on the floor, maybe it held some pallets, and it had a roof and maybe a fireplace and however many people could fit, would fit.

Even if the inn has private rooms; family, friends, aquiantances and even business partners would share beds and/or other sleeping accomodations. Servants would be four to a room, or even a bed. Ladies shared beds with their ladies' maids etc.

I'm on a bit of a Witcher kick at the moment, so; I can kinda see them forking over the expense of a private room (witchers probably don't sleep next to strangers), but the moment Geralt trusted Jaskier, they absolutely shared a bed. Two private rooms is absolute insanity, and if the room had two beds, it would be for four people minimum (so probaly a bit less expensive, but still very dear).

But then, consider this: the couple has been travelling and sleeping together, and suddenly *sexual tension*! And they're in a shared dorm room with a family of five a three travelling salesmen.

Or, person A is incredibly privileged and has always had their own space (their personal servant sleeps in their dressing room) and person B, the warrior type, has never once that they can remember slept without another person's sounds and warmth.

[the-mightiest-pen]

To my readers:

If your comment is long and rambling and full of quotes you enjoyed, I will love it.

If your comment is full of story related questions, I will love it.

If your comment is a single sentence, I will love it.

If your comment is a single emoji, or a string of them, I will love it.

If you comment, I will love it. It's that simple.

[the-mightiest-pen]

I'm 37K down in a fic and finally, FINALLY, have the scene in draft. Now I have approximately 10 more scenes in mind, which will presumable take half a million words, two AUs of an AU, and 15 years to further incoporate..

Had to make a meme to describe me currently

[the-mightiest-pen]

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

[the-mightiest-pen]

Writers don't get to rest.

[the-mightiest-pen]

"Oi, I need some full moon harvested jasmin seeds."

"Yeah, sure, just let me pull some out of my ass."

"Odd place to keep em, but that's between you and your gods."

[the-mightiest-pen]

Just a small pet peeve for everyone that writes (fan) fiction where people camp in the woods: stew takes HOURS.

The grumpy knight is not serving the sunshine princess the best stew she's ever had in the Forest of Dread an hour after he's rescued her.

Even if Jaskier is a much better cook, unless he also happy to wait 4 - 6 hours, rabbit on a stick it is.

Pubs, restaurants and inns would have stew, because they had the time and opportunity to keep a pot on the fire for a day. (Fun fact, they often had perpetual stews where they just keep chucking things in and ladling out).

Outdoors is grilled, inside is stewed.

[the-mightiest-pen]

[the-mightiest-pen]

I finally updated! See you in two years!