the-shitpost-wizard

[the-shitpost-wizard]

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

[the-shitpost-wizard]

May the 4th be with You: A Poem for Star Wars Day

[the-shitpost-wizard]

The trinity:

Apparently colour blind people are really lucky because wth is this ad 😭

Truly one of the ads of all time.

[the-shitpost-wizard]

Apparently colour blind people are really lucky because wth is this ad 😭

Truly one of the ads of all time.

[the-shitpost-wizard]

me and the gobs are pouring boiling oil on the invaders

[the-shitpost-wizard]

First time sending hate mail kinda nervous

Come on everyone! lets cheer him on!

[the-shitpost-wizard]

TOP 3 TRAITORS:

3. Brutus 2. Judas 1. Printers when you are in a hurry

[the-shitpost-wizard]

Thoughts on GOTY Clair Obscur: Expedition 33??

time to put on my favorite shirt

[the-shitpost-wizard]

scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can make women’s clothing

[the-shitpost-wizard]

OP is the village witch in a small medieval town

[the-shitpost-wizard]

Reblog to give the person you reblogged this from a Croissant (🥐).

[the-shitpost-wizard]

why don't you go "lay siege" to some bitches?

[the-shitpost-wizard]

Waking in a way. #outerworld #concrete city #smartphonephotograph #dresden https://some.pics/67f4b1fe716cb

[the-shitpost-wizard]

[the-shitpost-wizard]

tag yourself I'm Peaches

[the-shitpost-wizard]

✨ the present, past, and future ✨

original:

[the-shitpost-wizard]

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them