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i'm starting to think nobody on tumblr knows what a tumblr sexywoman is

i’m starting to think nobody on tumblr knows what a tumblr sexyman is

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been wondering what the general opinion on this is for literal years so

*stellarlune, not unraveled. not taking into account the fact that keefe is withholding a lot of important info from sophie and therefore breaching her trust. that information is only revealed in unraveled and i've heard complaints about sokeefe's execution in stellarlune long before unraveled even deigned to be a concept in people's heads. so i didn't include this as an option in the polls. if this is the only reason you don't like "stellarlune" sokeefe, then click "there was nothing wrong with sokeefe in stellarlune". that is an unraveled complaint, not a stellarlune complaint

also. in case you care all of these things are things i've heard sokeefe fans specifically say they hated about stellarlune sokeefe, from multiple platforms, including reddit and goodreads

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i've noticed the pro keefe arguments made by this fandom in general have gotten really bad lately

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kill alvar

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every time someone says fitz knew what he was doing when he asked keefe to draw him a present for sophie or that fitz did it to hurt keefe, an angel loses its wings in a frightfully gruesome manner

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Tinker by @purplesoup-lad-le

Luzia Vacker by @average-alliteration-admirer

Definition of a sexywoman: An often pathetic and/or evil woman who is sexy (but perhaps not in the conventional sense)

Propaganda:

Tinker:

"AUTISTIC TRANSGENDER SCIENCE AUTISTIC TRANSGENDER SCIENCE" @gay-otlc

"tinker my queen ❤️ and shes literally me. vote for her if you promote self love for me. mwah. plus shes hot <3333333" anonymous

"be lesbian. you can do it." anonymous

"titanium. nitrogen. potassium. erbium. what do the chemical symbols of these elements spell? TiNKEr. i think idk my periodic table went missing. but vote tinker" @kotlc-through-the-periodic-table

"off-putting autistic woman <33" anonymous

"my autistic wife" anonymous

Luzia Vacker:

"she's so funny to me, imagine you're an insanely powerful illusionist whose lesbian situationship turns out to be evil, and instead of acknowledging that, you just seclude yourself in your house for thousands of years and build a secret illegal troll hive in your backyard, then you give the house to your great-great-great-etc grandson and don't bother mentioning it, and it turns out the organization that your evil ex situationship is now a part of post-jailbreak is using that hive to make bloodthirsty mutant trolls. and also you have to help a 15-year-old save some baby horses." @arsonistblue

"she’s pathetic. her friend was killed by fintan’s everblaze incident thousands of years ago and she’s still not over it. she has a child but no husband in sight. she's probably divorced. she’s probably a lesbian!! she has a weird history with vespera. she’s been doing illegal troll experimentation for years and nobody knew about it until recently. loml" @crescentpaws

Want to submit propaganda? Do so here and it will be added in the next round!

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i’m starting to think people in this fandom have never even read the damn books

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https://www.tumblr.com/the-way-astray/781671620212326400/ok-stria-its-time-for-the-difficult-question?source=share

anon why did you send me a link to my own post

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spyballs track registry records. the neverseen either don't wear registry pendants or disable them when they go to their hideouts (much like the black swan), therefore the spyball has nothing to pick up on when they are in neverseen mode. and before you bring them up, sophie's human parents do have registry records, even though they don't wear registry pendants. therefore the spyball does have something to track. spyballs aren't all-powerful gadgets with no limitations guys. they're technology just like any other kind and they have a logical explanation behind how they work and reasonable restrictions that dictate the parameters under which they can be utilized

wait lowkey why didn’t sophie just use her spyball to find out what’s happening with the neverseen?? like she knows several of their names?? brant, fintan, ruy, couldn’t she just have called for lady gisela to end all of the drama in the fourth book??

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One of kotlc’s biggest plotholes(joking) is how the magnetic earrings don’t hurt. As someone who can’t wearing regular earrings bc of an allergy and has to wear clip on earrings, they pinch and it can hurt, especially a lot if you wear em for long periods at once with no breaks. Ik the ones in Kotlc are magnetic but it would still have to pinch the earlobe to keep the earrings secure. So that part where Biana explains the magnetic earrings always stuck out to me bc I was like “how are you not in pain” lmao

(I’m joking when I say this is a major plot hole lmao but it’s something I think about a lot)

okay i'm reading the aftg series and all i can think about is the scene where neil has scars on his wrists and the bartender dude thinks andrew is cuffing him for sexy times and casually goes "you know they make padded handcuffs right?" and neil is like. ???? i got these in a fight???? and the bartender walks it back so hard he should've crashed into the wall

i bring this up in a (very) roundabout way of saying. maybe the earrings have some sort of padding on them? and that makes them more comfortable so they aren't just crushing the earlobe between the two parts. some sort of cushioning would do wonders for this i think and i imagine they probably have something like that

also it's fitz that introduces sophie to the magnetic earrings, not biana. and i think his disgust with human piercings comes more from the idea of piercings/needles/blood/breaking skin and stuff like that because sophie's line directly before that is specifically about needles. so fitz is like "oh yeah we don't do stabby jewelry" so i think this is supposed to imply that the elf earrings are better not because they don't hurt necessarily but because they don't draw blood or pierce skin. which is a very elvin mindset to have, if you think about it lmfao

UPDATE!!!! i just reread the scene and!!!! the earrings are not even magnetic. here's a description of what's going on:

so it seems like the earrings just stick to skin. there's no magnet or anything on the back of the lobe keeping it there, it somehow just senses skin and sticks to it. i'd chalk this up to some kind of alchemical solution dabbed onto the back of the bead that senses and reacts harmlessly with the skin. it's strong enough to keep the bead suctioned painlessly onto the skin until the counterclockwise twist, at which point it's likely programmed to "let go", or neutralize somehow. but i think we can definitely put this to some sort of elf solution, not magnets. sorry guys it can't be explained with normal physics :(

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Ok Stria it's time for the difficult question: would you still like me if I said that I hated JKR and 100 percent did not support her but thought that HP was a brilliantly written series and deserved its praise and fame?

no. not only does jkr suck, but her series is full of details that reflect her nazi politics. there are plenty. and i mean plenty. of video essays that cover the various kinds of fucked up shit harry potter has in it, all of which are several hours long, so you know they aren't fucking around. i used to fall asleep to them lmfao. anyway even if you set aside the politics, the writing is still awful, from boring-to-downright-ridiculous characterization to atrociously written romance to horribly executed plot points and concepts to mind-bogglingly stupid worldbuilding to some truly disgusting themes. i'll link some videos here because they will do a much better job explaining these things than i will (i've read the series once. one time. when i was like eight or so and i hated it so i immediately put it down and i don't remember shit from it. i've also seen the movies a couple times but apparently they aren't entirely accurate to the books? idk who even fucking cares it's harry potter and it's bad and its author is a terf)

links to harry potter-negative video essays: general overview by shaun, general overview by hoots, general overview by anthony gramuglia (if you plan on watching only one, watch one of those three), on ableism, on misogyny, on plot, on characterization, on politics, oh, look, another general overview by satenmadpun, on worldbuilding, on romance, and because why the fuck not, i'll throw in on the marauders' fandom

i found all these links touching a variety of topics within five minutes of searching on youtube. some i've seen, some i've not, so sorry if some of them are bad or something i'm disclaiming right now that i haven't seen all of them. i've seen the shaun, hoots, anthony gramuglia, and a few other ones, but not all of them. and there are several. and i mean several. more videos. than what i've put here. i cannot recommend enough for you to watch these videos and scrub your mind of the atrocity that is this series because it truly is that bad. i'm the last person to say "all bad people always make bad art 100% of the time" (my cassius art post . . . ) because i think that ideology is incredibly harmful and leads to nothing but victim-blaming and superiority complexes (like what happened with neil gaiman), but in harry potter's case if you examine it closely you can see jkr's true colors staring at you through the goddamned page. take my hand and leave the series behind i beg. it isn't good by any objective metric and you probably only like it because of nostalgia

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The difference between tumblr and pinterest comments under kotlc art is STAGGERING

Tumblr:

“SO COOL” “they look amazing stop” “WOAH” “your art style is so beautiful!!” “crying, throwing up, this is amazing” “I love them in your style, your hcs are brilliant!”

Pinterest:

“I like it but the colors are off” “why did you make them look so old” “this character isn’t gay” “why is the character so dark skinned?” “This isn’t really how I picture them” “I like the art but I hate the character”

They aren’t all like this but a ridiculous amount are. Can we please not? The artist put effort into that piece, if you don’t like it then move on.

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the fact that alvar hating sophitz while there’s little to no conceivable way he could know about sophitz having happened at all is one of kotlc’s lesser plot holes is astounding to me

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every day i log onto tumblr and see the worst sophie’s bio dad theories known to mankind. like what is this. for what and why. how. where are you getting this

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the way i can tell some of yall are harry potter fans

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I JUST REALISED

Ok I was listening to the ballad of lucy baird and I was like, "huh, that sounds kinda familiar"

but it was good so I played it on repeat all day (as you do once you find a good song)

and I've only just realised

It sounds vaguely like your strieefe song...

Oh wow

You know, it’s the same genre of song and the chord progressions are almost identical, but technically the melodies are slightly different. A coincidence, but an interesting one indeed—though the tune Lucy Gray uses for that song is the same as an existing folk song!

You’re very right about the similarities! Although idk how to feel about the fact that you thought of my strieefe song while listening to tbosas😂

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Extremely weird ask but is there anyone in KOTLC whom you think woulda a terf or a transphobe?

that is extremely weird, anon. but whatever. okay i don't think any elves are going to be terfs because they don't have feminism, and terfs hide behind feminism as an excuse for their transphobia ykyk. the existence of feminism is based in the existence of sexism which the elves don't have (supposedly . . . but we'll not go into that right now). as for transphobes i'd say with regards to canon probably like anyone that isn't open-minded i guess? actually wait back up a bit. i think all the elves would be transphobic because in canon they live in a cisnormative society, but if they came to know of the existence of trans people somehow, the ones that aren't open-minded would resist it, whereas the others would accept it. so that would be people like the council and stuff. now if you ask me, i say the lost cities are homo/transphobia-free and that unraveled is a lie . . . so i would say none of them lmfao