thebackoutthereblog

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I'm going to Headley Court

….A nurse comes over to my bed and tells me that the transport is booked to take me to Headley Court and it will be coming to pick me up tomorrow morning.

I will really miss the staff on this neuro ward because it feels like I have been here for a lifetime depending on the so much but I’m so excited to be going back to a military environment and around guys I can relate to again.…

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I'm having my tracheostomy tube taken out

….A Specialist Nurse comes over and has a chat with me, she goes on to tell me that I can finally have my tracheostomy tube taken out in the next few days. I’m over the moon by this news :-).

The day I have my tube taken out finally arrives and the removal goes so much quicker than I expected, I have to keep a dressing sealed up over the hole for a few days while it heals and closes up.

I’m now breathing through my mouth without any hole in my throat at last, it heals up quickly and I’m told that it looks very neat….

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Chatting to Prince Charles

….Prince Charles walks into my bay followed by his extensive entourage. He pulls up a chair by my bed and I say hello Prince Charles as clearly as I could manage (which to be fair was pretty diabolical).

He notices my Airborne mug on my bedside cabinet and gives a little smile and nod of appreciation. We have a chat for a little while and he keeps telling me that I am doing really well and I’m very lucky considering what happened to me.

He doers pretty much all of the talking as I am really self concious about my slurred speech. It is really frustrating because in my head I can run through a conversation fine and it flows but when it comes out of my mouth it is a different story. 

He stays and chats with me for about 20 minutes before he says he has to go….

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Prince Charles visits me

....I am on such a high because of the news from the Headley Court staff. I really can't wait to leave hospital and start my rehabilitation.

My standing is coming along really well and I'm managing to control my head so much better now. My speech is still really slurred but the speech therapist is really impressed with how well I am doing.

A military liaison officer comes over and has a chat with me, he goes on to tell me that Prince Charles will be coming to visit me tomorrow morning during his trip to the hospital.

As soon as the Nurses hear the news they go into panic stations and completely scrub the ward down...

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Visit from Headley Court staff

....I get a visit from a couple of the staff from Headley Court, I'm starting to feel so much stronger within myself. They go on to tell me all about Headley Court and what goes on down there.

To be honest they make it sound more like a basic training camp than a rehabilitation centre with roll call parades all of the time and room inspections etc.

They tell me that once I have the tracheostomy tube and the feeding tube taken out then I will be able to go down there and be around other injured Soldiers...

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Swallowing properly

....since I woke up from my coma I am being fed by a syringe into a tube that went up my nose and down into my stomach. I'm now about to try some soft food in my mouth to see how my swallow reflex is.

It goes really well and I eat it without a problem so the Nurses say they will try me drinking fluids as they are much harder to swallow.

For the past couple of days the Nurses have been letting me drink thickened water and juice through a straw. Now that I'm drinking that okay they want to try me with less thickener.

They explain to me that I might start to cough if it goes down the wrong way but I will be okay. The Nurse holds the little plastic beaker in front of me and I place the straw in my mouth. She tells me not to drink too much in one go so of course I ignore her and just start having a coughing fit as the juice goes down the wrong way....

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I can speak

….the nurse comes over to change the valve on my tracheostomy. She says it is just a quick thing as it just clip on the end of the tube.

Before I know it she has changed the valve. The next day the speech and language therapist comes down to have chat with me and to assess my speech.

At first I can’t get enough pressure from my lungs through the valve so it doesn’t close. After a little while I start to get the hang of how to work the valve.

The Nurse gives me a list of different word to say so that she can assess my speech and vocal cord movement.

I can say most of the words but my speech is very slurred and I can’t move my tongue and mouth properly to get the correct pronunciation of certain words….

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I will be able to speak

….I get a visit from the tracheostomy Nurse and she says to me that I will be getting a different tracheostomy valve to allow me to make noise and hopefully speak.

This will be the first time I have made a sound since my injury, I’m so excited by this I really can’t wait. I will finally be able to speak :-)….

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Getting frustrated when suddenly

….after about a week of getting strapped to the table and standing up I can manage to stay up for roughly 15 minutes and then I just can’t lift my head but my physiotherapist are seeing improvements daily.

My right arm is a lot more responsive and is moving so much better now. I’m starting to get frustrated about not being able to just get up and walk.

One day my family come in to see me and I refuse to even acknowledge that they are stood there, I just stare blankly through them. They call the nurse over and tell her what is going on.

Then after a little while a few of the guys from my unit turn up to surprise me, I immediately perk up and there is a huge grin across my face I’m so happy to see them. I instantly forget all of my frustrations and have such a laugh with the guys….

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Finally I'm standing up

….my physiotherapists are checking that all of the straps are tightened up. They then pull some catches under the table and then slowly start to raise me up, I’m starting to get very nervous now.

It feels strange having weight go through my legs and slowly I’m getting heavier and heavier as I raise up, I hear a loud clunk under the bed behind me as they lock it into position just before I am upright.

I can’t keep my head up properly it just keeps flopping over from side to side as I try and lift it. One of them holds my head in place whilst the other places some blocks loosely either side of my head.

I get told to try and lift my head up, the blocks help me out a little as it stops the weight of my head just flopping over to the side. I do this exercise of repeatedly lifting my head up a short while but I can’t hold it up for long. My right foot starts to tingle slightly the longer I am upright I don’t get anything in my left foot though.

I start to get daily physiotherapy just like this but for longer and longer each time….

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I can have physiotherapy sessions

….after the tests and assessments my Neurologist says that he is happy for me to start seeing the physiotherapists. The lady who was writing down the specialists findings walks off and after a few minutes she returns. 

She tells my Neurologist that the physiotherapists will come down and see me now as a few patients have been cancelled. He turns to look at me and tells me I will get to stand up today :-). I’m so excited I can’t wait to stand up and walk.

After an hour or so 2 young ladies walk in pushing what looks like a padded table with straps on it. They introduce themselves and I find out that they are my physiotherapists. They line up the table with my bed and with the help of the Nurses they slide me onto it.

They explain to me that the table is on a pivot which tilts me so that I will be stood up and this will encourage all of my muscles to wake up especially my leg muscles. They tighten up and fasten the straps over my ankles once my feet are in the foot blocks. They also fasten straps just under my knees, across my pelvis and over my chest….

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Finally I can communicate

….I’m pointing to letters spelling out the words I want to say. I’m so excited to finally be able to communicate with people, after a while of me chatting to my friends and family a group of people are standing at the foot of my bed.

They politely ask everyone if they could leave for a few minutes so they can speak to me, once everyone has left the privacy curtains are drawn around my bed. The Doctors go on to explain to me who they are and what they would like to do.

There is my Consultant Neurologist and the rest of the people are his team of specialists and they want to do some neurological and cognitive assessments with me.

They start prodding, poking, bending and moving my arms and legs and then writing down their findings. They then ask me to spell a few things and follow some basic commands, the lady at the back is writing everything down now.

They are impressed with their findings but very surprised at how well I’m doing at this early stage….

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Real movement :-)

….I’m sat doing my usual daily ritual of trying to get something to move but to no avail when I start to get a pins and needles sensation in my right hand. After about an hour of tingling I notice that I can actually move my whole right arm and fingers sluggishly.

I’m so excited about this, I don’t stop wiggling my fingers and lifting my arm up for what seems like hours. One of the nurses notices that I can move and a few minutes later she brings over a clipboard with a piece of paper and a pen. She asks me if I could write on it and places the clipboard on the table over my legs. I take hold of the pen and place it on the paper, I slowly start to move the pen to write something but it takes me ages to write a letter and every time I try to write the next letter I just write it over the previous letter. It is getting me so frustrated, I just give up because I cant move the pen along. The nurse reassures me and says it’s okay and walks away from my bed.

She comes back with the clipboard a few minutes later but this time the paper has the alphabet with yes and no printed on it. She hands me the pen and asks if I could point to letters to spell what I want to say….

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Is that movement?

….I spend days just staring at my fingers and toes mentally willing them to move but to no avail. It is so frustrating knowing that I know how to move them but they just aren’t responding.

All of a sudden I think I get my right fingers to flicker slightly, I’m concentrating on them so hard. Nothing happens as per usual, I get fed up and throw my hands up in the air (in my mind) then lots of flickering and movement in my right hand and fingers.

I’m so happy and excited by this I just want to scream out :-) but after a while I get no movement again….

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My CT scan 6 weeks after I was shot (the picture is reversed). You can see that my skull is missing on my right side (left side in the picture) where the bullet exited. The dark track going through my brain is cavitation where the bullet passed through and the little white speck in the top right is a part of my skull still in my brain. It would be too dangerous to remove it but because it isn’t affecting me they are leaving it there.

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My CT scan 2 days after I was shot (the picture is reversed). You can see all of the swelling where a surgeon had to remove a part of my skull to release the pressure on my brain.

If my skull was still there then the swelling would have squashed my brain and I would have died.

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My family tell me what happened

...I wake up and feel much better but I'm still really frustrated about having no way to communicate with people. I look down my body and can see that my arms and legs are still there but I can't move anything.

My family comes in to visit me and after a while they start to tell me what happened to me. They tell me that I am in the old part of the new Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham on a neurology ward and that I have been here in a coma for 4/5 weeks.

When the doctors were trying to bring me out of the coma I started to have seizures and my temperature soared to 41°C which they couldn't lower it at first.

They go on to explain to me that I was shot in Afghanistan and the bullet passed completely through my brain from left to right on the 2nd July, they say the bullet entered above and forward of my left ear and it exited just above my right ear. Apparently I was dead when the American Pedro dropped me off at the hospital in Camp Bastion, I was then resuscitated by the team in the hospital at Camp Bastion and they got me as stable as they could.

Then I was flown to the American hospital in Kandahar so that the Neurosurgery team there could perform lifesaving surgery on me. They had to remove a large piece of my skull and some dead brain tissue.

I can't handle the news and I just start to cry my eyes out....