thebarontheabyss

[thebarontheabyss]

Thank goodness you're returning. Most IF writers won't even return at all

I never left 🥰

Was just busy with work, life, and their in between.

I'm planning to make a full return here when the next update is near completion, which WILL HAPPEN I CAN DO IT (hyping to myself here, ignore this part)

That’s all for now ~

[thebarontheabyss]

Hi Esh! I'm not the type of person who sends in asks usually, but I wanted to give you a message.

I've been in the IF community for 3 years, and I've read so many demos, some coming to be a complete project, others that stopped being updated at some point.

The funny thing is that some of those demos, that stopped being updated years ago, still have loyal fanbases that religiously check if the author came back, if they're doing okay, if the project is coming back.

What I wanted to say is no matter how long you take to update, or if you feel like you're writing at a slow pace, people are still gonna wait patiently for an update and they're still gonna check in on you, they want you to be okay first and foremost.

I've recently seen an author coming back after a 2 year hiatus, and people immediately sent asks into their inbox about how they're doing, how the story is going.

Just know that we care about you, take as long as you need.

First of all, thank you for taking the time to write this. ❤

I let the fear of failure sink its teeth into me when it came to this project.

I started feeling like people had lost interest in the game, which is ridiculous because I’ve received so many comments that say the exact opposite.

But you keep comparing yourself to others, and suddenly, nothing feels like enough. Perfectionism is a curse.

Anyway, I got a lot of inspiration for Peisinoe over the past few months.

Soooo it’s taken time to start climbing out of that headspace. But I’m getting there. Slowly, steadily, I’m writing again.

I’m in a much better place now, and I’m truly grateful to all of you for your kindness. Seriously. Thank you.

[thebarontheabyss]

hi love!! hope you're doing better, we miss you <3<3 please please please don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself, you should put your wellbeing before our entertainment! your IF is genuinely so good already and shows how talented a writer you are. as a perfectionist, things are never going to be perfect, and i know you're worried about people's interest waning, but that's okay because it's going to happen even to the best of games! pace yourself, and take as long as you need :)

Omg, this is so kind! ❤️ Thank you.

Honestly my reasons for taking a break are so dumb I’m kind of embarrassed to share them, but my therapist did say I should be more honest about my feelings with people lol, so maybe this is a good opportunity to just lay them out in the open. Or… puke them.

First of all, I’m sorry for disappearing on y’all like that.

I was dealing with a nasty combo of starting a new job and recovering from a year-long depression.

This game kept me going for a long time and gave me a reason to get up in the morning. I discovered an amazing community here on Tumblr, and I genuinely appreciate every single one of you who took the time to play TBOTA. You gave me air when I felt I had none.

Ironically, now that I'm recovering, I'm starting to have self-doubts about myself, my writing, and the game. Ultimately, I want it to be published, but I’ve really struggled to get people to read it beyond Tumblr and the small, yet incredible, reader base the game has here.

Which is understandable, I didn’t exactly picked the hottest and most popular genre for these types of games lol, and I SHOULD be thankful for what I already have…

But I was also, as Katya Zamolodchikova once said, “bombarded by a cacophony of demonic voices in my head telling me YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH”

Wow this is getting longer than I wanted.

Anyway, the point is, I just feel like updateing here is a time I could spend working on the update, which I’m working on but very slowly atm. I am trying to pick up my pace, and thank you for providing me an opportunity to update because I didn’t know how or what to say.

So… to all patrons who are waiting for the next update… I won't disappoint. Finishing this game is something I’m going to do for me, to prove to myself I could, first and foremost.

And I’m so thankful for each and every one of you who joined me along the way to the Abyss.

Esh ❤️

[thebarontheabyss]

Hi dear patrons ❤️

So this last month was really rouge. Fell sick and and was just exceedingly and unnecessarily busy at work.

But I spent every moment I could on the game, and still, unfortunately, I won't be able to finish the update any time soon.

It’s frustrating, to say the least, because I’m constantly anxious about losing momentum with the game and people moving on from it—and I've kind of reached a point where I'm just torturing myself over it.

So as the non-functioning perfectionist that I am, I'm forcing myself to be honest instead of pretending everything is going well!

Things are hard right now, but I'm not giving up and will finish as soon as I can.

Sorry for keeping you waiting, thanks for sticking with me, and see you soon on the abyss (but like, soon-ish)

[thebarontheabyss]

Mask of Shapeless Visage

The MC changes its appearance to the face of the person who was important to them(or to someone from the team). Just to say goodbye or see them again.

OR

MC, who was killed, is trying to recreate the image of their killer.

👀

[thebarontheabyss]

Hi i’m sick and eepy :( will return soon ❤️

[thebarontheabyss]

As I mentioned before, I am completely spiraling with the 2.5 update—adding more content, rewriting everything, and questioning my life choices.

But! I finally have a clear vision for Spirit Gifts and have already begun overhauling the story using their mechanics.

So, instead of being glorified “skill check” free passes, Spirit Gifts now function much like the grief paths, offering unique ways to experience the game.

So what does that mean? Let’s reintroduce them:

Navia’s Earring

Replaces Pythia’s Bracelet from the previous iteration, whispering thoughts and secrets directly into your mind. Let’s be honest—this was the best gift by far, so I’m keeping it mostly unchanged, except now it’s available for non-insight MCs too!

Everyone deserves intrusive whispers.

Voidcutter

This blue-flamed sword replaces the Sword of Damocles and is perfect if you want your MC to be a spirit-killing machine.

Now available for non-physical MCs as well!

Lens of Daezur

A pair of leather goggles containing the fractured knowledge of history, realms, and cosmic law.

Your very own personal, slightly haunted encyclopedia!

Mask of Shapeless Visage

An ever-shifting mask that allows the wearer to alter their appearance at will. Even for spirits, this is quite the feat.

Who is your MC today? More importantly—who do they want to be?

Ring of Chronos

A ring infused with the sands of time, granting you the ability to slow time in controlled bursts.

Just enough to react, just enough to change fate—if only for a moment.

The Murmuring Necklace

An eerie chain that allows you to speak to objects—and, more disturbingly, allows them to talk back to you.

Every object holds a story, whether you want to hear it is another question.

[thebarontheabyss]

Womp womp :( Dashingdon is officially dead.

Hope everyone managed to finish their playthrough on time, and reminding you that the game now lives (well, you know) on Itch.io and CoGDemos!

Esh out! 👻

[thebarontheabyss]

On Today’s Agenda: Overhauling Spirit Gifts!

So, funny thing about these rewriting updates—I keep finding things to rewrite. 😅

While working on the update, I realized that some gifts just felt way stronger and more distinctive than others (also something I got as feedback here and there) Now, that just wouldn’t do! So, I decided to revisit and refine the entire mechanic:

Each gift will have a new name and some unique lore behind it 👀

Every gift will have its own TRULY special abilities that set it apart.

Spirit Gifts will no longer be tied strictly to your highest stat! You’ll be able to select the one that resonates with you the most.

That’s all for now!? Will I finish this damn update? Will I keep adding more stuff until I lose my mind? Stay tuned to find out!

[thebarontheabyss]

I haven’t been on tumblr in a while, are the death scars the “tether” you mentioned before?

That’s something I’m planning for a future update. 🐦‍⬛

The tether will be someone from your mortal life, and will b customisable.

Their role in TBOTA will be… well, tba :)

Your Death Scars are by request scars that will reflect how you died and will be an option appearance option in the character creation menu.

[thebarontheabyss]

What inspired you to write Death as (in the nicest possible way) shy/ socially awkward? It’s so endearing and it’s a trait that makes it so much more fun if they do go insane

Also you can’t convince me that they’re not just really good at hiding their crazy

Hehe, thank you! That’s a great question. I actually wrote a pretty identical version of Death when I was 17, in a short story for an old blog I had in 2010. The blog is long dead, of course, but Death lived on :)

Back then, I leaned more into the "office clerk" persona since that was the concept for the story. When I started writing TBOTA, this version of Death just… came back to me. It felt natural.

For their personality, I think their guilt and avoidance of mortals, combined with their simultaneous longing for them, has left them in this strange in-between state—someone compassionate yet somewhat disconnected. They are gentle with human souls, handling them with care, but they cannot truly understand them.

And for the crazy part… well, the essence of Death’s personality is a cycle of guilt that they suppress instead of confronting, burying it like the gardeners they are.

But when you’ve buried so much, when you’ve forgotten entire lifetimes… are you a person or a fragment of a whole? And who is that whole?

[thebarontheabyss]

What will happen to our previous saves after the 2.5 update?

Unfortunately, this update will likely break old saves completely. No way around that :(

But, because a lot of the main plot will change, it’s recommended to start a new save file anyway. For this update I'm also implementing some code for future use, particularly for chapters 5 and 6, to make sure that these new saves will last longer without the need for more restarts.

But you still have some time to finish up your current playthrough. Heaven knows I definitely still need some time to work on this update 😭

[thebarontheabyss]

Hey patrons of TBOTA!

Just a quick update to let you all know that I’m still hard at work on the TBOTA 2.5 update, and I’m planning to release it mid-February (yes, it’s happening!).

As previously mentioned, this update will bring some changes to TBOTA, including:

Romance Overhaul – More depth and variation in romantic interactions.

Loneliness Mechanic Overhaul – A major rework for what is essentially the main plot of the game.

Death Scars in the Appearance Menu – Customizable scars reflecting how your character died.

I’m also planning to crank up posting from now on, so expect more content, general updates, and lore dumps!

Thanks for sticking around—I can’t wait to share more soon!

[thebarontheabyss]

if we choose we are curious/unsure about our feelings towards an RO, will we have another chance to start something with them? i chose i was unsure about morgan bc it all just seemed so abrupt but ive come to love them after progressing further into the game 🥲

Actually in the current state, the games does allows you to continue the romance even after making this choice. :)

This option was mainly for flavor, so all choices led to the same outcome except “not interested,” which would lead to a friendship path.

For the upcoming update (which is still in works! There’s just… a lot of works 🥲), I’m removing this option tree completely. Instead, each romance scene will have these set of options and will lead to different outcomes.

[thebarontheabyss]

Hello Esh,

I just wanted to say thank you.

Truly, for us readers , reading is a solace, myself included. Thank you for writing such a story that brought so many of us comfort.

🥺 No, THANK YOU for reading! And especially all of you who took the time to write your thoughts, encouragements, and feedback. Every ask I get, no matter how small it is, puts a huge dumb smile on my face. It's the best feeling in the world.

I wrote in a vacuum for so long before this, and I'm just thankful that I've found a medium where my little story can actually reach people.

You provide me the same comfort, believe me. Thank you.

[thebarontheabyss]

Found myself returning to this dumb post over the past week.

Guess I’m trying to conjure up that hope again—something we’ll have to do every day, together.

I started writing The Bar on the Abyss to cope with my lack of control over life—that overwhelming feeling of drifting through its ebbs and flows, pulled and tossed by forces beyond my reach.

Sitting at home, like in limbo, surrounded by death and destruction, suffering and misery, hate and anger, I kept asking myself if it was all even worth it—the crushing unfairness of existing.

Is that all there is to life?

I started writing to face that grief I felt, the promise of a life worth living burning in front of me.

Some days, like today, make life seem like nothing but fire and ashes.

But you see, the thing about life is that it has one rule: it changes.

Change is a constant, an inevitable force of nature. It’s the only state of life other than death.

And that means that under every fire, flowers are waiting to bloom. Some days, I see them—beneath the ash, deep underground, taking root.

They will always come, eventually.

Life is worth it, even when everything is in flames. Especially then. People find meaning and hope in the darkest conditions, within possibilities we can barely imagine.

They find it in each other. They find it in themselves. They find it by becoming the flower, pushing through and sprouting until life is green again.

In that struggle for change, in nurturing hope and love back into existence, we find meaning. That’s what makes life worth living.

Maybe change continues even after death. I hope it does. Until then, I will fight to see flowers grow again.

For those of us who live, It’s the only way.

Sending the biggest pile of hope from afar,

Esh.

[thebarontheabyss]

As im currently making my cosplay imagine if you die wearing a costume and end up at the bar in it😂 it would be so awkward for me like dont look at me!

Lmaoooo the good (and bad) aspect about the Ethereal Realms is that you can essentially manifest your appearance after death, clothing included!

It’s all about the way you wish to appear that influences how others perceive you. Some can control it, while others can’t.

Still, for most, it means looking quite the same—perhaps slightly prettier, uglier, older, or younger. It’s hard to let go of your self-image so fast.

For those who have spent more than a few decades in the afterlife, their appearance can become entirely different, potentially even non-humanoid.

So you tell me! Would you consider being in cosplay a focal part of your identity? If so, you might indeed walk around the bar in a full Sailor Moon cosplay. 😭