thedayvoyage

[thedayvoyage]

Let me think

I went on a walk with the boys and dogs to think. What was I thinking? 

I did learn about  4 different types of poops. I know what animal do I want to be if I could be an animal. 

I rolled down a steep Hill 

I listened to some amazing burns Boys gave each other. Burn basically means boys putting each other down. 

I discovered that my younger one loves flowers and wants to have every variety available on this earth in his personal garden. His older brother came up with various challenges on how it may not work but little one had the solution ready for every objection.  All this while I kept saying, Cayden, sush, let me think. 

[thedayvoyage]

Ego Annihilation in fall

I love all seasons, but fall holds a special place in my heart. The beautiful colors, the slower pace, the silent energy and the hint of change.

Nature doesn’t fight the change but instead welcomes it by being resplendent and showing it’s finest glory. The trees are not afraid to shed their leaves to bear the weight of snow. Animals prepare to hibernate and birds travel far knowing they will return when the time is right. They don’t say, “Hey winter, we are not going to welcome you. Why should we do anything to accommodate you? The snow is your problem, not ours.”

Fall always makes me contemplative about life. We are intelligent human beings, yet so often we fight the natural rhythm of life instead of embracing it. We are wary of changes rather than welcoming them with open arms.

We start to identify with our ego to the point we forget that change is the only constant.

How would it be if we were to learn from nature that ego can create a false sense of our own importance, and keep us from experiencing life fully, making the best of each moment?

What would it take for us to listen to our own rhythm of life and do what is right for our own self? Pine trees don’t shed because they are capable of bearing the weight of snow. But they cannot change colors. Bears and squirrels know how to hibernate. Birds know where to fly.

Can you imagine trees and birds going against their nature?

“Oh, the pine tree next to me is not shedding, why should I shed? Is the pine tree better than me?”

“Oh, look at these brilliant colors. I wish I could be like that. Why is life so boring?”

“Why do we fly every year while bears and squirrels just sleep through the winter? Maybe they’re just lazy.”

Sounds ridiculous, right?

Each of us has our unique ways of managing changes. All we need to do is become aware of them and leverage those strengths.

Fall is my reminder that I’m way bigger than my ego and the things I identify with. I’m open to life and it’s experiences. I am enough.

[thedayvoyage]

Learning from Little Leaders

I woke up to the sensation of my arm being dislocated from my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut and started to create a plan for rehabilitation only to realize that the arm was attached perfectly. It was only soreness. 

My son loves baseball as much as he loves his tablet. Somehow, he maneuvered me in taking him to the baseball field to practice his batting and pitching even though I grumbled for a whole hour. 

Why do I need to take on another task? Don’t I do enough for you already? I’m outdoorsy but not into sports- you know that already! Will I need those shoes so you don’t pulp my toes?  Why don’t you call your father to ask if he can take you after his work?

After seeing my resistance he called his father three times during that hour but of course, the big guy wouldn’t answer. His excuse was that his phone was on silent and he lost track of time while working. Really!

I had to bite the bullet when my son started to help with “chores.” Chores I invented to stall. He waited patiently while I put o “those shoes” and even remembered to carry a water bottle.

Still, in my skirt, earrings, and makeup, I went to the baseball field (It’s better to suck at something while looking good). My mind kept telling me, “remember: you have played street cricket and Gilli Danda in India.” SIGH!

We started with simple throwing and catching, getting used to each other, and then my son showed me how I need to behind the plate and how to throw. I started as a wild pitcher- the balls went in every which direction except across the plate. My darling son continued to instruct me on how to do it right, and eventually I got the hang of it (somewhat).  After pitching the ball about a million times, it was my turn to bat so he could practice his pitching. And guess what? I can HIT.

What struck me most was  how amazing my son was throughout the process. He was patient –not once did he get mad or frustrated. He didn’t over instruct me. He was encouraging. He celebrated every decent pitch of mine. He motivated and inspired me to do better. He made it fun. Most of all, he was so proud of me for getting out of my comfort zone and trying something new. 

I learned a lot about being a good leader. 

I can’t believe I actually enjoyed the whole experience and can’t wait to go back to the baseball field. My son has created a monster!

[thedayvoyage]

The Eisenhower Chair

This is the very chair Dwight D Eisenhower was sitting in at Hueblein Tower when he was asked to run for President in 1950 at a sheep bake organized by the Frances Murphy, the publisher of Hartford Times and a group led by Greenwich businessman, Prescot Bush, whose son and grandson would also become Presidents. Yes, Prescot Bush was the father of George H. W. Bush.

Connecticut has reach history and Hueblein Tower in Simsbury played its part. 

A little encouragement and a support system can go a long way in making history. Listen to people around you. 

[thedayvoyage]

Hiking in my world

Get up at 6am to kiss the hubby goodbye or the day and make sure that he MAKES THAT COFFEE before leaving for whatever he is leaving for

Have coffee and browse through cell phone

Shower and get ready for the hike in that cute hiking outfit, make it look effortless

Put that green eyeliner; smudge it to make it look like it was from last night

Put the hiking shoes and make sure the water bottles are filled and ready

Get in the car, text your friend you are on your way to pick her up

Get the friend and drive to meet other friends at the state park

Meet them then decide not to carry those water bottles

Put the car key in the backpack of that smart friend who had the presence of mind to carry one

Take a selfie at the start of the hike

Plan for breakfast right at the beginning of the hike

Catch-up on each other’s lives

Make sure your friends give you the credit for the idea of hiking while it’s drizzling- act as if you planned the drizzle Mother Nature is bestowing.

Take pictures at the viewing point to prove you actually hiked

Thank your friend who not only had a backpack but carried water bottles in it too

Change the hiking route because one of the friends must see that “stone garden” everyone missed because of the non-stop yakking

Make your friends jump on a rock few times to take that perfect shot

End your hike with a big breakfast at a local diner to gain back all the calories burned during the hike

 Bring it all together:

No activity is really done till it is posted on social media. If you forgot to post, write a blog, share it on FB and tag friends. 

[thedayvoyage]

Questions

Why are some women opposed to those who are marching? 

Why do parents choose to paint a nursery pink when having a girl?

Why is everything (clothes, toys, shoes, accessories, etc.) for girls pink?

Why do most people feel the need to compliment girls on their looks?

Why do girls need to be told they can do anything boys can?

Why don’t both girls and boys take it for granted that they can be  anything they want to be?

Why do girls and boys need to be compared when they are unique and perfect the way they are?

Why do girls not assume that they are capable of doing anything?

Why do girls need to be told they are equal, but are not treated that way from the day they are born?

Why boys and girls are not taught similar skills to live an independent life?

Why do girls and boys have to dress in certain colors?

Why is a boy discouraged when he experiments with his mother’s makeup and shoes?

Why are girls not encouraged to tinker with cars, play sports, build thinks and fix stuff?

Why boys are not encouraged to learn ballet?

Why do we tell boys to not “cry like a girl”?

Why do we tell girls to be “strong like boys”?

Why not everyone is paid based on skill sets rather than gender?

Why is it “acceptable” for men to address women with words like “pussy”?

Why are women put on pedestals as goddesses to be worshipped, but not respected?

Why do some men want women to expect more out of them than men do?

Why do men not have the same expectation for themselves as they do for women?

Why do women feel guilty when they choose to return to work after having children?

Why do women need to be respected for one reason alone – that they can have children?

Why don’t we naturally respect each other simply because it is the kind and decent thing to do?

Why do people look at “stay-at-home dads” as heroes or martyrs?

Why is there not a law that every single person who is pro-life and against abortion must adopt one of the children who is waiting to be adopted?

Why in America it is constitutional to ban all Muslims because of few bad ones but not do a background check on gun buyers because of few bad ones?

Let’s work together to break the boundaries. Boundaries created by mind and circumstances, boundaries created by where and how we are raised, boundaries created by society, politics and religion. Nothing is holding us back but ourselves. Let’s change. Let’s be open to change. Let’s be open to difference. Let’s be open to love.

  The inspiration for this blog was an opinion I read on Fox News:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/01/23/steve-moore-what-learned-at-womens-march.html

[thedayvoyage]

Love is freedom

Do you miss him? He must be missing you. I can never do that. I’m sensitive. You guys are brave. Wow, he must love being there. What a wonderful thing to do for your son. I don’t think I can live without my kid/s for that long are few of the comments/remarks I get from people when I mention that my 7 year old flew alone to India to spend summer with his cousins, and grumble that he hasn’t talked to me since he got there.

Of course, I miss him. Yes, it was incredibly brave and courageous of him to fly alone to India (I say that with a grin). From what I have heard, he did his best to sleep as little as possible on long flight to maximize his time on tablet and in-flight entertainment. I’m happy that we are raising an independent and well-adjusted child who will make the best of whatever comes his way. I wasn’t too concerned about him going to India knowing that he is going from one place of love to another place of love. My concern was for the flight attendant/s that would be falling prey to his innocent looks. During the hand over at Delhi airport, the flight attendant stated to my sister “he is very naughty, isn’t he”?

I’m not sure if I should be grateful or exasperated with my sister for loving him so much that he doesn’t miss his own mother. But one thing I do admit, reluctantly, I’m fortunate to have her. Only deep love allows the freedom to just be; only deep love can give someone the wings to fly and explore. He is lucky to have a carefree childhood of playing and singing in rain in his underpants, to climb trees barefoot, and have no worries except to find ways to annoy his cousins.

I can’t say if I’m brave or if it is wonderful for my son, all I know that it works for us because I’m blessed to have family and friends who are supportive, loving and non-judgmental. Together, we create an oasis of love where he feels safe and secure to live a life full of adventures.

[thedayvoyage]

Creating space

I had no idea that a tiny human being one day will fill up my heart and every waking minute of my life. I never imagined luxury would mean taking 3 minutes long shower. To be able to talk to my spouse in complete sentences without interruption and reading 2 books a week will be a thing of past. Not having laundry to finish will feel akin to accomplishment. Life took on a different dimension and purpose after I had my son.

One thing I didn’t care was to become one of those people who make sacrifices for everyone around and feel guilty for having time for myself. I wanted to work full time, be a hands-on mother, have time for my spouse and for everything else I wanted without the pressure and stress. I know I wanted the sun, moon, stars, earth and everything in between; all I needed was to figure out how. To achieve what I wanted, I took a long hard look at myself and my life, identified the opportunity for personal improvements, recognized when to multitask and when not to, when to let go, when to stand up, when to say yes and when to say no. I don’t have a perfect life but it is full life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Some of the things below help me create space:

Not starting the day rushed. For me that means waking up 10 minutes earlier to sit down for that first cup of coffee

On most mornings, I ask my son to help with breakfast. That becomes our time to connect.

Refraining from using cell phone on drive to school drop-off and work provide options to enjoy the music or gather thoughts or let mind wander around or catch a breath after the hurried morning. The possibilities are endless.

Commitment to fitness, health and mindful eating keep this body functioning optimally. The body can only put out what I put in.

Having an outline of routine and plan is vital to a productive day, and it allows greater flexibility with my time when needed.

Taking up activities my son likes and encouraging him to activities I like help us spend time together and keep fit. Whether it’s kickboxing or soccer or gymnastics or yoga. 

Side benefit: It encourages kid/s (and adults) to try new things and know that it may take many tries to succeed

Doing yoga postures or singing on top of my lungs, dancing while cooking and walking/stretching during conference calls is multitasking at its best.

Avoiding to multitask during work and meetings to keep my productivity at maximum.

Carving out time for my spouse, even if it is 5 measly minutes a day is important to me. We try to spend that time without the distractions of electronics, kid and books. We may talk or choose to take a stroll or sit outside on the deck in silence- the focus is not on what but how we spend those few precious minutes.

Being alone for 10-15 minutes before going to be.

Most important I do my best to be present through-out the day, say “yes” more and choose to live fully.

[thedayvoyage]

16 Ways to get UNSTUCK

[thedayvoyage]

An open love letter:

My dear friend,

Love is the most beautiful & sacred emotion. My sister always says “no matter what happens, never forget we love each other”. I have always believed that real love can rise about all differences. You and I have drifted apart because we didn’t see the things same way.  I want you to know that I still love you with all my heart and hope one day we can move on, forgive and forget. Life is too short to let go of that precious love.

I grew up with unconditional love; love which never changed based on what I did or didn’t do, never depended on agreements or disagreements. Even when I got an earful, love was still there. I’m grateful to my family for showing me unconditional love. So my lovely friend, I still love you just the way I have always done. My heart and home is always open for you whenever you decide to come back, and it’s OK even if you decide not to. I still cherish the time we have had together- my life is richer because you are part of it.

Love forever,

Prati

[thedayvoyage]

Why New London?

New London, CT, was the first place in America I made a home with the love of my life. We miscarried our first baby there, and then conceived Cayden. Though I'd left my family far behind in India and quit a job I loved in Dubai to settle in the little, seaside city, I gained a brand new family and friends, found another job I loved, and learned to drive for the first time. New London taught me to love the cold weather, so different from the climate of my childhood, and it was here I learned about Yoga, which changed my life in more ways than I can count.

Where else but here is it possible to talk to a stranger while grocery shopping and, before you know it, you are canoeing together? Where else can you drop by somebody’s house without making plans a month in advance or ask the local soapmaker, Laura, to create a scent for you? I know most of the people in the local coffee joint, Bean & Leaf, where it’s totally appropriate for a guy to tell me that he loves me the second time we meet then not even remember my name in the third. The owner of the city's main yoga studio, Blissworks  babysits Cayden when I’m teaching a class at another studio—we're not competing. The more yoga, we agree, the better. My New Londoners are wild, crazy, eccentric, weird, creative, caring, and love living life to fullest.

Since returning here, I have started to dream again, to reach for the moon and the stars, and here I feel almost as if I can touch them. Even though I’m working to turn my dreams in reality, there is plenty of time for friends, family and my own self—I can’t remember the last time I said, “Sorry, I don’t have time.” 

I'm eternally grateful to this beautiful city. New London, you never forget to remind me how we are all connected.

[thedayvoyage]

Love, Marriage, Relationship, Divorce

I have been listening to a lot of people talk about divorces and separations lately and, most of the time, their words are traumatizing and ugly. Sometimes, they even use their children as pawns.

It made me wonder: what happened to two people who must have been in love at some point? Why so much bitterness? Does it really need to be like this? Love is one of the most beautiful and sacred emotions. How can love turn into hatred so quickly? Maybe it was never really love to begin with, because if it was love, then a person should simply say something like, ”Look, I loved you once with all my heart, but it’s not same anymore, and it’s time to move on. I’m sorry if I’m hurting you but, if we stay together, it will only get worse, and I would rather see you happy.” Instead of fighting over every little thing. Of course, separations cause pain and accusations, but nothing that can’t be worked on with little bit of compassion and kindness.

Stop and think, folks in the midst of ending marriages/relationships, of the reason the love first happened. Let that feeling fill the heart, and hopefully that will help lessen negativity and bitterness. After all, you can only get what you give to the people and world around you. And guess what? If both sides take their leave with love, there will be no need for divorce lawyers or courts to interfere in such a personal decision—and to charge money for doing so.

*Edited by: Kira Goldenberg

[thedayvoyage]

A Yogi Friend

There are very few people I know who live a yogic life. Most think yoga is about practicing yoga postures for certain hours every day or turn vegetarian, or detox once a while.

But Kim Doucette not only does all the above mentioned things but has incorporated the yoga philosophy in her life too. One of the most giving and non-judgmental person, doesn’t mean having no opinions (oh boy, does she has opinions), but accepting everything as is and maybe that's why there are hardly any major "issues" to work on in her life. She does her best never to misuse the resources available, not because it's "FASHIONABLE" but out of genuine concern. She composts fruits and vegetable peels and reuses the zip-lock bags by washing.

When I inform her about moving back to New London, Connecticut, she doesn't ask “When are you planning to come” or” how long you plan to stay? But “OK, let me know the date you are flying in when you know" (yes, she knows me too well).

Pure unconditional love and acceptance without the ifs and buts. When we finally arrive, she is in middle of her week long detox, sustaining on only Khichdi (an Indian dish made of lentils and rice), yet we are welcomed with open arms in her home and heart whereas any lesser mortal would have been wary of having a 3 yrs old turning the life upside down. Cayden still thinks, Kim Masi’s* house as home even though we have moved to our own place.

If we really look deep within, we see some kind of split and struggle in how we see ourselves and how the world sees us. She somehow manages to be the same person for everyone around- sweet and caring without imposing any ideas or values but quietly making this world a better place for all beings just by her own actions and no reactions. 

  *Masi means like mother in India.

[thedayvoyage]

" By virtue of our creation, we are related, part of a world community, connected to each other and nature"

Pramila Jayapal. Pilgrimage to India

[thedayvoyage]

Children

Overheard a mother talking to her 2 years old son:

Mother- Can you say " please"

Son: Hmmm

Mother: Where are your manners

Son: At home!

[thedayvoyage]

Home sweet home

  Beawar- my beloved town I spent my childhood in a small Indian town called Beawar, tucked away in a part of Rajasthan that seems untouched by modernity. The place smells of cow dung. Cars, mopeds, motorcycles, bicycles, autos, bull carts, roadside vendors, cows, dogs, and people somehow manage to co-exist on Beawar’s filthy, narrow roads. The water supply is erratic, so people take buckets baths instead of showers to conserve it. Basically, very little has changed in over 50 years. No wonder residents are well known in the region for their highly developed senses of humour. What other choice but to have one?   A typical day in my mom’s house nowadays when I visit includes four to six children from the neighbourhood all clamouring to play with Cayden’s toys or to watch videos on my laptop. If I happen to go a shop without money, they ask me to buy now and pay later; I’m not even sure if they know me. A visit to doctor’s clinic costs a whopping two dollars and one kg of green beans cost less than a quarter, yet my mother complains that I always pay too much. Go figure. Though I’ve lived all over the world, this house in Beawar is the only place I still call “HOME”—a place to unwind, to think, to rejuvenate, and to eat delicious food. Time has no hold on life here, at least for me, as days pass in a pleasant blur. The song which sums up this magical town comes from one of the videos Cayden and his village friends love to watch on repeat: “Bare necessities” from “Jungle Book,” where Ballu tells Mowgli the secret of good living.