theinyshlobster

[theinyshlobster]

feed them silence by lee mandelo [review]

read from september 13th - september 14th

read for sapphic september !!!!!!

review:

minor spoilers!

oh this was super interesting and not what i was expecting at all!

seeing as this is a novella i’m not gonna have…. too many thoughts honestly.

i really enjoyed reading a book about academia and neuroscience research!!!! i’ve pondered going into that field quite a bit, either in neuroscience or research, so seeing them mashed together was a little bonus point from me. sean writing her emotions into academic speak…. chefs kiss. “academia is devoid of emotion” YUP!!! YUP!!!!!!!

also side note but i love the fact the female mc is named sean. idk i love the idea of ungendering names. fuck it names shouldn’t have a gender. also sean is COOL for a woman. we as a society need to name more women sean methinks.

speaking of sean…. whoo she was a doozy protagonist! i mean im reading this for sapphic septemberand its prompt was “disaster sapphics”, so i wanted to see how the sapphics were disasters and…… oh it defo fit that prompt! sean is somehow so incredibly unlikeable and an awful person, yet simultaneously incredibly empathetic. i love a protagonist who is awful and everyone calls them out on their shit, but honestly an awful protagonist can only go so far when the reader wants to gouge the protag’s eyes out. but this book teeters the balance of empathy yet disgust towards sean. god she sucks.

the actual plot itself felt a tad… anticlimactic. idk i expected more…. Horror. this did not feel like horror to me…. defo seems to be more so speculative fiction & thriller rather than scifi horror… but that’s just me. and the whole story itself felt…. idk. boring isn’t the right word. but although i could see the descent into madness, what i was reading wasn’t matching the emotional response sean was producing if you know what i mean. like it made sense… but it also seemed like homegirl was being a bit dramatic. yeah that’s the point but as someone who will sit thru movies going “this shit is dumb why didn’t they do xyz”…. i kinda was just sitting here at times being like “…..why is this bitch going from 0-100 over that”. like her responses were disproportionate even for someone going through what she was. it didn’t make sense logically based on what was explained. and then the climax built up instantly fizzled out… i was just kinda sat there getting excited and then the plot flatlined. 

i really think this book described isolation incredibly well, and anything even adjacent to psychology or neuroscience will get my little brain buzzing with excitement. i won’t say this book was a flop because it wasn’t! but i wasn’t itching to read this book because the plot was good, or i was intrigued. i was waiting for something batshit to happen… and then it didn’t… and then because it’s a novella i might as well finish it.

apologies if this review makes no sense (like my reviews ever do psh) homie is on day 5 of cymbalta 😀 i have slept 16 hours every day i am fried. 

anyways don’t read this book if animal cruelty upsets you 👍

[theinyshlobster]

on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong [review]

read from september 8th - september 11th

review:

minor spoilers !

i really don’t know what to say about this book. i don’t think it is possible for me to convey my thoughts surrounding this book. it was breathtaking.

ocean vuong’s prose is unlike anything i’ve ever read before and is incredibly addictive. the form in which this book takes only adds to the brilliance of this story, and made me keep coming back for more.

the only “downside” in my eyes of this book is that the story’s nonlinear structure made it hard to follow at times, and the main character felt devoid of personality. it’s highly likely that those features are a metacommentary on the main character themself, but it doesn’t make me like the book any more when the reason behind choices are explained.

i quite enjoyed the characterisation of lan & rose, and seeing the effects of generational trauma was handled amazingly. i especially liked reading about lan and her relationship with little dog.

i don’t really think there’s more i know how to say. i have a lot of feelings about this book that are stuck in my head (question of the century: is it because the book is that good it’s rendered me speechless or is it because i’m on day 2 of cymbalta.. the world will never know). but this book is legendary, and deserves all the hype it has surrounding it.

[theinyshlobster]

carmilla by joseph sheridan le fanu [review]

read from september 8th - september 9th

edited by carmen maria machado

read for sapphic september!!!!!

review:

slight spoilers!

easily out of all the classics i’ve read from before the 1900s, this is my favourite. 

yes technically this edition is modern as it was edited by carmen maria machado but SHUT UP.

also shout out to carmen i loved her editing!!!! her little end notes plus her prologue? honestly without her editing i don’t think i would’ve enjoyed this as much. so happy i chose to read this edition. the fact that carmen doesn’t add the additional letters simply to spite the author for hiding just HOW DOWN BAD laura was???? god her prologue was so fun. usually prologue’s for classics are a snooze fest where it’s literally just them recounting the authors life, but carmen somehow managed to breathe life into a short summary? plus i don’t know if the original edition has this or if carmen added it, but the images!!!!! did not expect them, and honestly it added to the story quite nicely, especially the images where laura is so incredibly down bad. she’s so me coded (falls head over heels in seconds without checking for concerns and becomes absolutely infatuated with someone she knows jack shit about). i love stupid lesbian rep in my 1800s gothics. 

god what can i say. this book immediately gets bonus points because i am infact a lesbian who loves vampires and horror. like this book was set up for me to love it. plus carmen’s editing made all the fanciful 1800s english actually coherent! cuz im sorry english pre-1900s is so hard for my brain to comprehend. sorry booktwt im not smart enough for classics sue me. but this? this made so much sense and i loved it.

i also loved that the classic vampire traits we’ve grown to know don’t come from this. i mean this was literally the blueprint of vampire tales. i love that carmilla is just a sleepy girl who wakes up at 1pm and is moody. me and carmilla are one in the same. she gets me fr. like fuck that shit about garlic give me an enchantress who happens to be perpetually tired. like my girl has CFS/ME and is goth she’s literally me!!!!!!!! plus she turns into a cat!!!!! all lesbians love cats!!!!!! carmilla is the same as modern day lesbians i said what i said.

also props for the lesbianism being so explicit! in other classics there’s a lot of subtext…., nah in here we see carmilla and laura kiss and laura has a sleep orgasm cuz she dreams about carmilla. she’s so down bad. 

i wish i got a bit more time with my homegirl carmilla and saw her be more explicitly a vampire but im not too mad about it. i like the fact her vampirism is more of an undertone and is less explicit honestly. fuck lesbianism being in the subtext let’s make the fact she is an ancient supernatural being the subtext 🔥

anyways this might actually be my favourite classic. I LOVE LESBIANS!!!! 

[theinyshlobster]

frankenstein by mary shelley [review]

read from august 2nd - september 8th

review:

spoilers ahead!

for a book with such a place in the cultural zeitgeist….. this was mid NDKMDKFKG

like especially considering a lot of ppl regard this as one of their favourite classics, i was expecting something…. more.

one major let down of the book for me i think was the book’s focus on viktor and neglect of the monster. yeah that could be a metacommentary on viktor’s neglect of his creation but.. im sorry i didn’t care for viktor.  bro was having pity parties because he created something ugly, abandoned it, and then was shocked his creation was pissed! bro why are you getting on the bad side of a mf who essentially can’t be killed? bro can survive siberia and guns and you’re deciding to get on your high horse and then be upset ur monster said what he was gonna do (kill ur family). viktor isn’t unlikeable in a way you’re rooting for his failure so the book is interesting; he’s unlikeable because he’s a dumb bitch who whines for 280 pages yet there is supposed to be ambiguity whether the monster or viktor is in the right…. there was no ambiguity for me #Team Monster.

what else is there to say…. i found the chapters with the monster’s perspective the most interesting by far. i would’ve loved if he was the protagonist instead. 

also this book pisses me off because all of this anguish could’ve been avoided if viktor wasn’t a cunt to his creation. bro YOU MADE HIM BE THAT UGLY. WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED HES GROSS? and then he straight up abandons the monster and pretends he doesn’t exist. yeah i’d kill viktor and his entire family if i was the monster too.

the plot most of the time was incredibly boring, but i did enjoy the prologue about mary shelley, as without it i fear i would’ve given this a lower rating. the allegory for childbirth and the maternal relationships coming through viktor, as well as the general themes of children and motherhood relating to mary’s life made this book somewhat enjoyable, as it gave the story some depth. without those explanations into mary’s life and how it relates to plot points, this would’ve been a major flop.

um anyways i think this book is extremely overhyped but hey at least i know the true story of frankenstein and i can be insufferable and go “erm actually the monster isn’t called frankenstein its the dude who creates the monster whose name is frankenstein 👆🤓” 

[theinyshlobster]

the poppy war by r.f. kuang [review]

read from august 29th - september 7th

review:

spoilers ahead!

and just when i thought yellowface was r.f. kuang’s magnum opus. i was pleasantly WRONG

ok so easily, EASILY, the best part of this book is rin. sorry i love female protags who take no shit, are in the military/fighters, cause chaos and do shit no other dreams of. she’s such a likeable protag in the sense of personality, and god i just wanted to root for my girl. i love when women commit crimes and rin is no exception!!!!!!

altan can get it fr, as well as the rest of the cike

, i really enjoyed all the side characters!!!! special shout out to nezha i liked the mini redemption arc he got!!! hopefully homeboy and the rest of the sinegard sluts are kicking

.

i’ll be real i did not like the whole…. Spiritual aspect of this book. it certainly grew on me by the end, but throughout most of this book i was read to give this 4-stars simply because i didn’t like the Lore portion of the story (lore in the sense of this book not lore as a component of a story). like i said by the last 100 pages i’d finally wrapped by head around the concepts so i was enjoying them, but i can’t tell if it’s because im dumb or it wasn’t properly explained until the last third of this book. 

anyways i cant explained how addicted to this i was. like i was an hour late to uni because i didn’t want to stop reading this. i was so immersed not only did i forget when my class was, but when i did realise i was gonna be late….. i just didn’t care. because i wanted to read this.

the worldbuilding at times was weak, but when it was good…. god it was good!!!!! some of the best worldbuilding i’ve read in a fantasy novel (minus the lore concepts that were beyond me). i was so down for whatever was happening, and i was along for the ride. i felt every emotion. every shift in story. god just this book is great RF KUANG YOUVE DONE IT AGAIN

[theinyshlobster]

the umbrella academy, vol. 1: apocalypse suite by gerard way [review]

read in one sitting [september 4th]

review:

spoilers ahead!

this was cute!!!! defo fills the hole in my heart left after the tomfoolery that was s4 of netflix’s the umbrella academy.

there were some cool moments and funny dialogue, but i wish the cast was fleshed out more !!! 

also ew i can’t believe gerard wrote the allison & luther plot. Why

um anyways i don’t have too many thoughts because honestly if i ranked this how i truly felt it would be 5-stars but that’s simply because i miss the s1 cast’s personality. bring back this klaus and five. Please.

um anyways can’t wait to read the next volume at some point :3

[theinyshlobster]

things have gotten worse since we last spoke by eric larocca [review]

read in one sitting [september 3rd]

read for sapphic september!!!!!

review:

slight spoilers! proceed at your own risk.

i’m sitting here cackling because what in the actual fuck did i just read. i’m crying from laughter right here. does that say something deeper about my psyche at the moment? probably. was this incredibly silly goofy? yes!!!!!

my only real gripe is this is solely related to one of my triggers. now i’m fine with gore in my horror. hell i’ll watch horror movies with gore. but you bring bugs into My Horror??????? ohh i lose my mind. bugs have always been an insane trigger for me. i am always afraid bugs are in my ears. i was told once that biting your nails gives you pinworms and as a girlie with dermatillomania i had a panic attack over that thought. once i woke up in my bed to an earwig next to me and now i am always paranoid ill wake up and an earwig is in my bed. needless to say, a bitch doesn’t like bugs!!!!! so i’ll say this book really did have me!!!!! 

i don’t know what you’d call this book but it wasn’t really… horror? idk i’d say it’s more like psychological thriller. but also i realise im incredibly desensitised to weird shit so. 

i wish there was more time to expand on the fucked up relationship between these two but also this is a novella so. i’m not mad.

the ending is lowkey kinda funny? not funny haha funny goofy. i liked the way the ending brought us all the way to the beginning as well. nice little tie in.

i feel like im going to be severely judged for actually saying i had a good time. i cant say i enjoyed myself but lowkey i don’t think that’s the point. i had a good time. i felt like agnes reading this — enjoying it but not really but kind of but hating it but loving it. yeah. this isn’t a book ur meant to love. it’s so fuckjng insane. but i liked it! i’m not mad at it! i can also understand why everyone i know of either thinks this is mediocre or horrible! i am in the minority! long live the apple peeler and finneas! 

[theinyshlobster]

my name's yours, what's alaska?: a memoir by alaska thunderfuck [review]

read from august 30th - september 1st

review:

tone spoilers only!

how fitting for miss alaska’s memoir to be my 69th read of 2024. and i didn’t expect to enjoy it so much.

usually im not a raving fan of memoirs but genuinely this is a must-read, especially if you’re a fan of drag race.

i think the best part of this memoir was easily the parts following alaska & sharon’s relationship. 

now i hate to focus a review of a memoir based on the relationships within, but much like in the dream house, the abuse *is* central to the memoir. most drag race fans are aware that sharon is not a great person, but this really goes into sharon’s depravity. from the reasons why she auditioned for drag race to her manipulative tendencies, to me this book really gives credence to any allegation laid against sharon. if you’re still a sharon fan after reading this book….. CHOP. alaska’s quote “Sharon owned me” really summarises their entire relationship in one word.

however, as much as this memoir follows sharon, alaska is the star of the show. her witty writing style combined with her focusing on the nitty-gritty of her life was very intriguing to follow. i’m thankful in a way that alaska didn’t spend endless chapters following s5 & as2 because we all know those stories. what we didn’t know is how alaska came to rise in pittsburgh, how she met sharon, her downward spiral into a life of drugs & alcohol, and where alaska is post-as2. ive only read one drag race queen’s memoir prior to this, so (no shade to lawrence chaney) i wasn’t expecting a magnum opus - i was expecting an entertaining story, and nothing more. what i didn’t expect was an incredibly harrowing story that goes in depth about the black hole of negativity that is sharon needles.

i will say the only thing holding this memoir back is its length. for how much alaska has done in her life so far compared to the length of this book, it felt like everything breezed past too fast. i wish we spent more time on alaska herself rather than sharon, although i know sharon was an integral part of alaska’s drag career. 

but hey at least now when i listen to ‘the T’ i know the backstory to all the lyrics!

[theinyshlobster]

a bánh mì for two by trinity nyugen [review]

read from september 1st - september 2nd

read for sapphic september !!!! <3

review:

spoiler-free!

I WANT TO VOMIT THAT WAS SO SWEET. also im on the verge of fucking bawling. i’m literally shaking trying to stop the tears thanks pristiq 🥹👍

i think this book really hit me hard for three main reasons;

i’m a fat fucking lesbian

i am fatherless and relate to a lot of the guilt lan feels about her parents & that familial need to look after the family

i very much relate to vivi’s yearning for home, and feeling split between two countries. my grandparents fled yugoslavia post-WW2 and have never told my mum or i anything about family stories. i’m so serious only a week ago i found out my great uncle’s name. like they say NOTHING about OUR history. only my grandparents migrated here, so they’re the only relatives i have, much like vivi. so i very much feel the yearning for knowledge and connection that vivi does. 

i had a beautiful time reading this. reading about lan and vivi’s blossoming romance was so sweet, mixed with their sight seeing UGH IT WAS SO CUTE. god this was such a lighthearted read which i needed!!!! the children yearn for soft sapphic romances!!!!

i think the only thing holding this book back from 5-stars for me is the pacing. this shit went by WAYYYY too fast. which yeah i mean that can be because their romance was fast but….. idk i felt like some plot points weren’t fleshed out enough, and for the length of this book either some plot points needed to be chopped or the book length extended or…. man idk i am not a writer. but like idk lan’s revelation surrounding her father’s death, or vivi’s feelings towards her mother all being fully fleshed out and resolved in one chapter meant it happened way too fast and was a bit jarring. the speed at which things happened emotionally for characters kind of threw me out of the book? like yes the fast-paced nature worked for sight-seeing, but for the character’s growth it felt too fast. i still fell in love with the characters, but i don’t know if i can get over just how… rushed this book felt at points.

anyways im really craving some banh mi rn catch me placing a cheeky ubereats order at 11:30pm 😋😋

[theinyshlobster]

i dnf'd this a WHILLLEEE ago... i think at like 18%.

too much sports for me 😱

currently reading;

the boys in the boat by daniel james brown

416 pages

genres;

nonfiction

biography/memoir

history

sports

note: reading for bookishreality’s august nonfiction swap ^_^

[theinyshlobster]

hey pookies.... sorry ive been AWOL.....

ive been changing meds

um yeah i was trying out ya girl desvenlafaxine except it literally gave me antidepressant withdrawal syndrome so.

guess whos a cymbalta baddie (for now)!

my brain is slowly coming back but..... Very Slowly

plus i also have uni.... haha.....

thank you for the 2 followers i have :')

in other news ive surpassed my reading goal! whilst writing this ive read 78 books this year 😱

will be scheduling my reviews so feeds are not destroyed!

also i wont be doing the "currently reading" anymore because i honestly change what im reading so often i will also destroy my page.

live laugh love,

clover :)

[theinyshlobster]

currently reading;

the poppy war by r.f. kuang

530 pages

genres;

fantasy

historical

note: reading for bookishreality’s september/october chunkalong

[theinyshlobster]

evil eye by etaf rum [review]

read from august 28th - august 30th

review:

beware - slight spoilers !

etaf rum has done it again. god she’s such an amazing storyteller. if i was the type of reader to give half stars, this would 100% be a 4.5/5. alas i am too anal about my storygraph & goodreads ratings matching so here we are. i’ll say the only real “downside” i found with this novel is from purely an enjoyment stance, yara becomes very repetitive in her dialogue, sometimes making this book feel like im just reading the same chapter over and over again. i understand it is likely a commentary on the generational trauma yara is experiencing, and the fact she literally points out many times how she feels like she is going in a circle and needs to break the cycle in her family. purely as a reader, it does become tiring and frustrating, but honestly im not too mad at it as i understand the reasons thematically for it. the book at times also felt slightly devoid of anything beyond yara. yes i know she’s the protag but literally i know nothing about her kids. yet again another commentary on how yara is in her head so much she literally cannot define her children’s personalities but as a reader i wanted more! i really enjoyed rum’s depiction of mental illness in this book. it felt very realistic, and having read rum’s previous book, i was worried we would get another incredibly depressing ending, so im thankful that in some form things were looking up for yara. this book really did feel like an extension of themes introduced in ‘a woman is no man’ in the best way, where instead of just making the author feel the depths of despair with a downer ending, i like that in this story yara is beginning to break free from her traumas one step at a time. i also thoroughly adored her character development. honestly this book felt like it rectified everything “missing” within ‘a woman is no man’, and even then that book was absolute fire. and so was this. the ending was quite cute too, and i’m very pleased this book didn’t give in to letting the protagonist suffer a tragic fate, and instead let her grow beyond what is expected of her.

[theinyshlobster]

iron widow by xiran jay zhao [review]

read from august 25th - august 28th

review:

beware - slight spoilers ahead!

XIRAN JAY ZHAO THE GENIUS YOU ARE. i have no clue why i didn’t read this earlier but boy did i love this book!!!!!! disabled rep in the form of both zetian & shimin? check. feminine rage? check. great dialogue? check. world building that makes sense? check. a love triangle that doesn’t feel forced and is resolved in an interesting way? check. loveable anti-hero as a protag? check. grungy elements that make this YA book feel like it’s pushing the boundaries of YA fantasy? check. check check checkkkkkkk god i loved zetian. honestly she’s up there as one of my fav protags from literature. i always love a female protagonist who pushes against society’s rules and transcends beyond what is expected of her. plus she felt so rational, and i love that her character development wasn’t focused on her letting go of her rage!!!!! let women be angry and murder lots of men (in fictional books)!!!!!! i really enjoyed the plot and all its progressions and developments. the action scenes felt so real, and although i found it really hard to picture things such as the chrysalises & spirit armour…. i was having way too much fun to let the fact i didn’t have a super clear picture affect my experience reading this. i’m not a fan of love triangles tbh and they fucking piss me off but the way this one was handled….. chefs kiss. yet again XIRAN JAY ZHAO YOUR MIND. i wish the “resolution” of the love triangle (iykyk) was a bit more fleshed out and had time to breathe before the ending, and i hate when books are such a clear set up to a sequel. babes give me some form of resolution my god!!!!!!! but honestly with how much fun i had i can’t really complain, but i imagine those who read this when it first released would be fuming about the ending. it felt rushed. defo didn’t feel like it came out of nowhere but….. idk it felt Too Fantastical. the ending defo follows zetian’s established personality and motivations, but it feels like it.. wouldn’t be possible in universe. possible as in… yeah that could happen logistically…. but in reality would it be able to work? idk. but god this book literally scratches every itch i love in a book. in less than 400 pages, xiran jay zhao has cemented themselves as one of my favourite authors. plus they get bonus points for being a fellow nonbinary baddie. cant wait to see what chaos zetian causes in the next book 😼

[theinyshlobster]

currently reading;

my names yours, what’s alaska? by alaska thunderfuck 5000

224 pages

genres;

nonfiction

memoir

lgbtqia+

note: reading for Alphabet Soup’s “US State” prompt

[theinyshlobster]

currently reading;

evil eye by etaf rum

340 pages

genre

literary

[theinyshlobster]

“I am exactly the kind of ice-blooded, rotten-hearted girl he fears I am. And I am fine with that.”

Xiran Jay Zhao, Iron Widow