thelightofthingshopedfor

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

God and Goddess of Mischief

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Wait, you were actually born in the 1900's? Thats so cool

i am going to eat my own entire skin

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scarlet johannson did not spend an entire decade fighting tooth and nail to make natasha into an actual character instead of the sex object writers wanted her to be while also having to endure the most vile, misogynistic questions during press tours for people to now disrespect her legacy because yelena is 'better'. the only reason why that is, is because of everything scarlet went through. natasha singlehandedly paved the way for every other female superhero in the mcu and don't you forget that

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having anti punitive justice morals sucks because you want to say "man that guy sucks he should get hit with hammers until he dies" but you also want to make it clear you don't think anyone should be put in charge of the 'hit people with hammers until they die" machine.

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Morning derp

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brain is Bad tonight. possible culprits include:

the increasingly naked authoritarian takeover here in the US

the continuing horrors in Gaza that no one will stop

everyone around me acting like everything is normal despite both of the above

(possibly, a two-hour Teams meeting just completely depleting my executive function spoons for the day even though I didn't contribute that much)

just sort of getting slammed with the realization that I'm 38, I've accomplished very little with my life, and at least physically it's probably all downhill from here (when my body never worked right to begin with)

I don't think I'm actually capable of making the changes that would make me happier or generally make me feel like I'm not a failure as a human being, because when I think about the concrete things I would put on that to-do list, it's incredibly long and overwhelming just to think about

I don't know how to keep or make friends, but I'm sure good at losing them

Hazy, my dog-child, is fairly healthy but she's definitely getting older and slowing down after her health scare in November, and I don't know how to deal with that

like I keep having this awful feeling that she's going to die soon and there's no logical reason for it, but it's fucking me up that almost every time I cuddle her, half my brain is going "haha well better enjoy it while you can, bucko, remember how awful it was at the end with Scully? wonder how bad it's going to be this time? it only gets worse from here!"

speaking of which, at this point my clearest memory by far of Scully, my previous dog-child, is the day I had to have him put to sleep

even as an exvangelical I still had a pretty strong sense of what happened after death even if I wasn't totally comfortable with it, and I recently realized I have no clue anymore for the obvious reason that it's a black box, and it's freaking me the fuck out

(like there are things I would be okay with and things I would not be okay with and I don't think it makes sense for souls to just not exist, exist for a little while, and then not exist again, on a basic principle of...preservation of energy and shit? but there is no way to know and it's freaking me out and I know this is stupid because most people dealt with this when they were kids but I really cannot overemphasize the degree to which I was raised hardcore evangelical and therefore did not deal with it)

this is extra upsetting in the immediate context of a grandparent who just died, other grandparents rapidly aging with dementia/Alzheimer's, aging parents, and dead/aging pets

also I waited too long to eat something because I was spiraling about all of this and that definitely didn't help

probably the smartest thing would be to...try doing one or two very small but useful things, like donating somewhere relevant, and then distract myself with something fun and go to bed early, which is usually how I deal with Bad Brain. unfortunately that all just kinda kicks the can down the road. then again I'm not sure there's a good alternative to doing that.

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:p

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everyone is trying to take your oxford comma away from you. don't give them that satisfaction, reward, or pleasure.

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i’m just tryna have a nice time despite knowing facts and information

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Stephen Strange Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Stephen Strange, Bruce Banner, Wong (Marvel), Heimdall (Marvel) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Magic, Hurt Thor (Marvel), Loki Needs a Hug (Marvel), the violence is canon-typical but I tag just in case, POV Stephen Strange, POV Loki (Marvel), Telepathy, i guess, hints of Loki & Bruce Banner, and Loki & Hulk, Fix-It for Movie: Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Movie: Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Canon-Atypical Swearing Summary:

“I wouldn’t say no to a tuna melt,” Wong says hopefully. Stephen is about to say he’ll add it to the tab when the sky falls with a roar of color and motion, smashing through the roof and into the staircase right behind them. At the bottom of the resulting hole, covered in dust and flinging away debris, is just about the last person Stephen was expecting to see today, or preferably ever.

Heimdall saves Loki from the Statesman instead of the Hulk. Loki doesn't really appreciate it.

a new fic, finally! I wrote this for the Loki Gen Fic Fest for @delyth88 and author reveals were today, so now I get to post it.

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finished another one! only like, one and a half notebooks left! also my arm hurts because I've done so much typing today!

…for some bizarre reason I had the idea that I was basically caught up on typing up my notebooks except for the most recent one and when I finished that I actually would be caught up but no. very much no. there are at least six. going back at least that many years. all of them have at least had some bits typed up already but wow that’s so much worse than I thought

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one more notebook down! I've done almost nothing else this weekend but I'm sure making progress on this!

…for some bizarre reason I had the idea that I was basically caught up on typing up my notebooks except for the most recent one and when I finished that I actually would be caught up but no. very much no. there are at least six. going back at least that many years. all of them have at least had some bits typed up already but wow that’s so much worse than I thought

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

oops apparently these posts were in February and I let another Long Time go by without working on this very much but hey, at least it wasn't nearly as long of a Long Time as before, and over the long weekend so far I've finished typing two notebooks, which also has my "2023 writing" and "2024 writing" documents completely typed up! I still have four more notebooks to finish typing, and once I finish that I'll need to move all these disconnected chunks from the "[year] writing" documents into their own fics before I can actually do anything with them, but this is good progress!

…for some bizarre reason I had the idea that I was basically caught up on typing up my notebooks except for the most recent one and when I finished that I actually would be caught up but no. very much no. there are at least six. going back at least that many years. all of them have at least had some bits typed up already but wow that’s so much worse than I thought

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

they're up now and oh man there's so much good stuff

soooo what's up with the Loki Gen Fic Fest? based on the listed time zone, fic reveals were supposed to be yesterday, but they're all still hidden.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

soooo what's up with the Loki Gen Fic Fest? based on the listed time zone, fic reveals were supposed to be yesterday, but they're all still hidden.