themistetal

[themistetal]

why go to bed when you could have a late night wave of anxiety and reread every message you’ve sent in the last day to make sure no one hates you?

[themistetal]

our situationship finally crossed the line and broke one of my alters’ attachment to him! i’m FREEEEEEEEEE

[themistetal]

sometimes my trauma does make me someone ugly.

sometimes my best friend gets help for his mental health in 4 months, while I am still waiting for the same help after 3 years.

sometimes that means he tells me that he’s getting treatment and over text I tell him how happy I am. I am happy for him. I am also trying not to have a panic attack from the grief and anger and jealousy, crying at my work desk with the vague sense I might pass out because my body cannot process my emotions.

[themistetal]

Protectors listen in, this reminder that protectors are allowed to cry and have a hard time. You don’t have to be strong 100% of the time.

[themistetal]

my first thought about today’s outfit was

‘this has gandalf with big naturals vibes’.

If I have to know this, so do you

[themistetal]

[themistetal]

why does recovery from literally anything have to involve feeling worse before getting better.

i don’t want to feel worse i want to feel better, that’s why i signed up for this.

[themistetal]

needing to save money to make your life better while needing to spend money to keep yourself alive is fucked up

[themistetal]

[themistetal]

greys anatomy has many many flaws but it is unendingly human and it’s what keeps me watching.

over and over again, greys is messy and devastating and heartwarming and full of people making stupid decisions and deciding to love anyway. it is so so human.

[themistetal]

absolutely sobbing at greys how does it do this to me. s5 e21. Richard apologising. it just hits.

‘You were helpless… a beautiful, smart, funny little girl. And no one stood up for you. I’m so sorry.’

[themistetal]

told someone the character I relate to most from grey’s anatomy is Meredith Grey and they said ‘yeah I can see that’.

will be processing this for the foreseeable future

[themistetal]

i had completely forgotten that I vehemently dislike Izzie’s oncologist. Her brutal honestly sometimes just feels like brutality and maybe my own personal experience with oncologists is colouring this but god she makes me mad

[themistetal]

i stg i could write an episode by episode analysis of greys anatomy. it would not be great, nor literary, but it would be hella emotional

[themistetal]

yeah greys anatomy is triggering at times but it also has so many little moments that remind my heart what warmth feels like

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asking "hey is it fine if I smoke in here" and before you're able to answer I've already set up a full rack of salmon over a fire in your living room

[themistetal]

for me, being the host is more than just living day to day.

i cried for an hour long train journey over a relationship that ended 2 years ago and I don’t even have the memories for.

it’s okay, i will share the grief anyway. i don’t need an explanation or to know whose grief i am carrying. i will just cry until the pain fades a little, and sleep a little better tonight knowing someone in our system hurts a little less.