thesamedimples - Tumblr blog

[thesamedimples]

tmi but i would like a spicy dream about m tonight please thank youuuuu

[thesamedimples]

I long to worship a woman.

[thesamedimples]

Dreamed about M tonight 🙃

I was trying to take a picture with someone, when she photobombed it. I laughed and asked her for a selfie. She kept smiling, being super shy while trying to hide in MY NECK??? 😩

I think she left after we finished taking the pictures but I was planning on texting her and asking her for a coffee. In my dream I was so confident and couldn't wait to finally ask her "out". It was 1000% sure that she would've said yes. UUURRGGHHH. In real life she would probably just ask if I fell and hit my head.

UUUIRRRGGHHHHJHH!!!!

[thesamedimples]

these two posts reminded me of her <3

[thesamedimples]

do you guys have a pinterest board for everything that reminds you of them? TT

[thesamedimples]

saw her for the last time today,

i think what hurts more is that she didn't look back.

this is good bye my sea star, i will forever ache to the thought that i lost you. i'll see you soon, at the sea, where you and i are just people who want the ocean.

i have loved you so much i felt it in my bones, i hope my name haunts you.

[thesamedimples]

i need to get a photo with her so i can get a locket and put it in there and wear it forever with one of the small random insignificant objects she's given me

[thesamedimples]

Are you guys still here?

I haven't been online for 2 years!!! That's crazy. I wrote my Abitur in 2022 (and passed) and been studying ever since.

Is it very childish of me to say that I still miss my tc's? I don't even remember what I named them here lol.

Let's just say that I dreamed about my first ever tc (the one I started this account for) and it was WHOLESOME! We met eachother on a city event and hugged for like 2 minutes. She wouldn't let go of me and just kept hugging me tighter. After a few seconds I put my face in between her neck and her head. We kept giggling like little kids.

I don't know. Since then I am thinking about her again. Its been like 8 years since I last saw her. I wish we had a bigger bond all these years ago and it would be normal for me to catch up. When I found out I passed my Abitur I wrote her an Email (cringe?!) and let her know... She responded and was very kind but that was it. I wish I could just text her and ask her what's going on. I think she switched schools actually so I couldn't even go and visit her. And even if I did it would just be awkward. I left that school 10 (!!!!!!!) years ago. She wouldn't really remember me and it would just be too awkward to assume that she would want to have a chat and everything.

Urgh I hate this!!! I just want to see her again. Just once and maybe have a cute little talk. I reeeeally hate this.

Are you still there? I missed sharing thoughts like that.

07.05.24

[thesamedimples]

I've seen wifey after what felt like a year. She drives a new car -fucking bad ass car! We talked at a "event". She asked me how I was and I told her that I'm not good, struggling with depression and taking therapy and LET ME TELL YOU !!!!!! she was the SWEETEST soul !!! She looked seriously sad and touched and told me what a nice girl I am and told me about 17272 times how sorry she is. Also she told me that I could always talk to her !! Super thankful but kinda scared to fall into the crush-hole again.

[thesamedimples]

It seems like I tend to trigger myself sometimes. I do stuff just to remember how it used to be when she was in my life. At night I sit and wait in front of my house the way I used to when she came over late at night and I couldn't wait for her to be here. She send me a text, telling me she was on her way and I sprinted outside. I walk past her grandmas street very slow, sometimes I stop and stare because her car might pull up. I eat her favorite candy while watching a movie in bed because that's the only time I get close to remembering the taste of her lips. There is still some stuff I can't do because it would make me sob immediately like drinking melon lemonade because she used to kiss me whenever she took a sip and it was a perfect combination of her own unique taste and the lemonade.

[thesamedimples]

Since I am back at school I would love to see wifey again. Just to see her and maybe make some small talk. My friends saw her and I didn't >:(

[thesamedimples]

I would love to talk to wifey again. Man...

[thesamedimples]

happy birthday n. you´re always gonna be a bittersweet memory :) <3

[thesamedimples]

Today I talked to wifey after what felt like a million years. She asked me if I would be celebrating Christmas in a small circle and that I should take care of myself. Then we started talking about New Year and be both HATE it. She hates it because she hates the ´´pressure´´ she is under to have a good day/night and she feels like she has to be happy and in a good mood. That is SO her and I LOVE IT. It was so nice to talk to her. I noticed that I still feel excited to see her but I am not nervous anymore -we just talk. And since I am more relaxed whenever we are talking, she is relaxed as well. She is a very private person but sometimes, on days like this, she tells me a bit about herself and I love that. I love that side of her. She is like a different person when she talks about herself or about her life. She is so much softer and calmer and so understanding. Her bitchy teacher attiude trops. I love it. 

[thesamedimples]

"snow used to be my favorite thing in the world because it reminded me of her. it reminded me of her because on one early december morning when she left my apartment i wanted to tell her that i loved her. she walked out of my apartment building like she did so many times before but this time she was surrounded by snow and everything stopped for a moment. i was so overwhelmed with love and i was so sure that this is how my life is suppose to be. me and her. but just like the snow she disappeared and left me in a cold and grey state."

@thesamedimples 1.12.20

[thesamedimples]

i didn't see it snowing.

i told one of my friends that i would start believing that everything is going to be fine if i did.

but i didn't.

everyone but I did.

[thesamedimples]

Today was so heartwarming. I've been really bad for some weeks now -because of school and other stuff. Everything feels hard and is taking all the energy from my body. I am not able to sleep in peace. I am not able to live in peace. I am not able to do anything in peace. I want to give up everything -especially school! The only person who really knows about this is my favorite teacher. A 58 year old history and german teacher. He used to be my teacher from the start and we just got along so well -we still do. Whenever I felt hopeless or sad he noticed and helped me out. Today he did it again -but it felt like so much more than that. I met him in the hallway when he asked me what's wrong. I told him that I am exhausted and want to give up. He then put his hand on my cheek and I swear he had tears in his eyes. Please don't think that he is creepy 58 year old, he is like a dad to me and I know that I am like a daughter to him. He knows a lot about me and always knows when I am sad so this gesture totally broke me down. I am so glad that I have him in my life and that he always always always believes in me and tries to make me continue. Today I realized that there is at least one person that cares about me. I will never ever forget this moment.

30/11/2020