thoughts-rambles

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Pardon me for how out of character I may seem, but I am far too excited to act like an acceptable member of society.

AFTER 2 YEARS AND ALL MY DEVIL POINTS I FINALLY GOT THE ONLY CARD IVE WANTED SO BADLY

WOOOOOO OH YEAH BABY

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Official Whiteboy-Mexican™ teaser image.

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Believe it or not, I am also a literature nerd- and because of that I have fallen in love with the idea of showing Satan my favorite books. Most, if not all, of what I read is non-fiction, so I take immense pleasure in showing him things like Homo Deus or Descartes' Error or The Prince or Born a Crime or When They Call You a Terrorist or No Longer Human, or even I, Robot. Showing him the truly human side of literature and having him experience the same things I did while reading them.

Human culture is shown through art- and the written form is no exception.

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I found an old sketch of Levi's Butterflies' Banquet card I made in May of last year. If I'm feeling it, I may actually render it later.

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I've decided I would go through the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as shown in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders : Fifth Edition (DSM-5) one by one and point out which ones I believe fit into Asmodeus' behaviors.

Guess this will be a thing for however long it takes me to go through the 10 diagnostic criteria.

As a psychology nerd, I love the analysis of Asmo's character through the lens of his narcissism. I think the definition of narcissism has gotten corrupted by popular culture and its conflation with abuser.

Narcissism is based in insecurity and fear of abandonment, and recognizing that Asmodeus is incredibly insecure and searching to be loved is something that touches me deeply.

I can and will ramble about this again.

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Exactly! In all honesty, I believe that NPD along with the other cluster B personality disorders are incredibly stigmatized and demonized.

We know- for a fact- that Asmodeus does not think that he's absolutely perfect. If he did, there would be no need for how he consistently goes on diets because he thinks it will make him more attractive to others. Asmo cares deeply of what others think of him and because of that he tries so hard to become an idealized version he holds of himself.

Throughout the game(s) we see that Asmo can barely even let himself go around his brothers- and when he does it seems to be more joking that genuine. MC is the first being that it seems Asmo can let his hair down around because they see him for what he is and not what he presents himself as.

As a psychology nerd, I love the analysis of Asmo's character through the lens of his narcissism. I think the definition of narcissism has gotten corrupted by popular culture and its conflation with abuser.

Narcissism is based in insecurity and fear of abandonment, and recognizing that Asmodeus is incredibly insecure and searching to be loved is something that touches me deeply.

I can and will ramble about this again.

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I don't think Beelzebub is a proper representation of gluttony.

Gluttony is- by definition- consuming things in excess because it makes you feel good. Beel, on the other hand, is constantly hungry, but stops when he gets full. Beel works out because he doesn't feel good just eating, and he actually eats very intuitively.

He's just big, and tall, and has a fast metabolism.

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As a psychology nerd, I love the analysis of Asmo's character through the lens of his narcissism. I think the definition of narcissism has gotten corrupted by popular culture and its conflation with abuser.

Narcissism is based in insecurity and fear of abandonment, and recognizing that Asmodeus is incredibly insecure and searching to be loved is something that touches me deeply.

I can and will ramble about this again.

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I'm so sorry for saying I will post and then never post... anyways guess who got disowned by his father !

I promise I want to write, and I will eventually, I just have to find the motivation.

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I'm so sorry for my almost month-long hiatus!!!!

I was busy with exams and then got sick- TWICE. Seems as if there's some divine intervention purposely keeping me from writing.

Luckily, I have recovered, am in no shortage of prompts- as all my December prompts were winter themed- and will start working on fics again as soon as possible.

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Sorry to everyone for not posting in a while; uni is kicking my ASS but I promise ill continue writing and catch up as soon as possible.

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I love seeing other people's MC's sooo much I'm debating drawing a model of mine.

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Out of all the brothers' rooms, Levi's was the last one you expected to stay a winter night in. His room was always on the cooler side, with the blue lights only helping cement the cold atmosphere. And yet, here you were, laying in his tub under every blanket he could find. It was a cute gesture; he wanted you to stay the night with him so badly he'd sacrifice his own common sense and future dignity.

Now, with the excess blankets and pillows taking up room, you and Levi had been practically squished together. He didn't mind at first- when he was playing a game that is- but as soon as he pressed pause he realized the predicament he was in. You were so close to him, cuddled up far more than he expected, and his heart couldn't take it. He swears his room has never felt warmer, and maybe that was a good thing? You had to stay warm after all. Was he helping? Could he do more? So many thoughts flooded his brain as you laid so calmly next to him, and not negative ones either- hopeful ones. He wondered how close he could get to you, how much he could get you to rely on him. His imagination alone flustered him so much he was almost envious of how collected you were in this situation.

After realizing how his movements stopped and his muscles tensed, you looked up from your phone with a questioning look. It was followed immediately by Levi covering his face and turning away in embarrassment, beginning to mumble about whatever he had created in his head. You worried he had gotten self-conscious again and stopped him before he could continue, peeling his hand away from his face and encouraging him to look at you. You looked him in the eyes, and told him everything was okay before leaning in ever so gently to kiss him. You thought that after all the kisses you'd shared, surely he'd grown accustomed to the feeling, and find it comforting.

But he didn't need comforting in this moment. You had changed him- for the better- and while he would always be flushed, he'd grown a little more confident. Your kiss- in his eyes- was not one of comfort, but an invitation. You felt so warm against him, it seemed as if all the self-doubt had melted away in your presence, and so he leaned into it more. He decided that if you came here, in spite of the cold, and kissed him, the least he could do is share some of his warmth with you. He would channel all the love he held in his heart for you into physical affection, and make sure that you felt anything but cold that night.

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As a Mexican I constantly think about Mammon and mamón. I still remember when I first heard his name and immediately giggled to myself thinking that it was fitting.

I particularly enjoy the idea of informing the brothers of this insult, imagining that they, too, would see the insult as appropriate and call him it. Don't know if you'd just tell them for fun or accidentally call one of them mamón and be forced to explain, but either way they'd find out. Mammon would just be confused on why everyone started pronouncing his name weirdly.

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Tonight, you were once again cuddled up to Mammon watching something together on his laptop. The now dimly lit room only served as perfect atmosphere for the action movie Mammon had picked out. As the movie played you let your mind drift to the scene around you. The warm hue of the bedroom lights, the contrasting cool glow from the laptop, the soft texture of pillows and blankets, the warmth the both of you had created, the feeling of his body next to yours; everything mixed together perfectly.

Earlier that night, Mammon had dragged you into his room stating that the cold devildom weather was too harsh for a weak human such as yourself. He continued, explaining that The Great Mammon would be so gracious as to allow you to huddle with him for warmth, and maybe even permit you to cuddle up to him if need be. You were his human to take care of after all, he couldn't let you freeze to death.

Now, however, it seemed his cocky demeanor melted away in the warmth of his bed. He leaned on you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you closer to him in return. You responded simply, grabbing his free hand and interlocking fingers with him. Even without looking at him you could imagine the look on his face, practically memorizing his expressions by now. As predicted, his face was completely flushed, with even the tips of his ears burning the gorgeous crimson you had come to associate him with.

Surprisingly, however, this time he did not pull away from your affections. Instead, he squeezed his hand in yours before bringing your knuckles to his mouth. He kissed them gently, placing them back down on the bed afterwards. You, now flustered, turned to face him in surprise, only to be met with his lips meeting yours. His lips were chapped, and his nose cold, and yet you wouldn't change a thing. You would simply turn your body towards him before cupping his cheek and bringing him in for another kiss. The movie was long forgotten, and neither of you could care less; you would much rather spend your night embracing each other. Even if you missed the ending, you could always just use it as an excuse to lay in bed together again.

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The cold had settled into the house. It was a particularly frigid night, one that left all the brothers huddled under their blankets, scrambling for warmth. Lucifer had gotten lucky that evening, having you all to himself. He had swept you away quicker than the others could think, hoarding you under the sheets in his bedroom. You- in turn- had gotten quite comfortable in the bed, quickly drifting off into sleep.

Once you woke, you noticed three things. The first was the cozy warmth of the bed; the second was the gentle melody of beating hearts and breathing you had created while lying next to each other; and lastly, Lucifer's soft gaze. You chuckled, mostly to yourself- had he been watching you sleep?

You knew the answer as soon as you heard him chuckle lowly- of course he had. You didn't mind, in fact, you found it endearing. Lucifer had confessed many, many nights ago how he enjoyed the sight of you sleeping. He said that he loved your relaxed features, that it calmed him in some way, that it made him love you even more. You called him crazy at the time, but the more you thought about it the warmer you felt. He'd truly love every part of you, and seeing a part of yourself you weren't in control of only made him fall harder for you. It was that gentle love he showed that made you fall for him in the first place, wasn't it?

He held your gaze as you got lost in thought and sighed softly. Then, he lovingly kissed your forehead, the tip of your nose, and lastly your cheek, before clearing his throat. His voice was tender as he spoke. "How was your nap, love?" You'd quickly shake off the drowsiness and respond to him in almost a whisper, "It was nice…cozy." "I'm glad dear," he'd quickly stretch before holding you closer and continuing, "because we're gonna be here all night." You'd respond by holding him just as closely, nuzzling into him as a form of affection.

As you held each other, you'd talk and laugh about practically nothing well into the night. Lucifer secretly wished that the Devildom would freeze over that night. Realistically he knew it wouldn't be good, but it would also never happen. In his imagination, he'd simply use it as an excuse to hold you close to him like this forever.

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Hi, you can call me Rambles!

This is my (temporary) introduction post where I'll keep my:

Brothers Masterlist

Side Characters Masterlist

and

December Fics Calendar

I tag all my stories with #fics, and my thoughts/other with #rambles