tofu0101 - Tumblr blog

[tofu0101]

pt 2 to my shitpost

Dazai was walking around when he saw you. yes, you. the person in his dream. this must be fate!!!!! he zoomed toward you.

"omg ur so hot wanna commit double"

"wtf" you said and ran away.

As you got back to your house, you thought about getting a restraining order on the peculiar man that had approched you earlier today, when you suddenly felt a tossing and turning in our stomach.

You forgot you had Taco Bell today.

Oh well. Who cares? You're in the only one in the house. And it's YOUR house. It's not like anything's gonna happen if you let it rip.

And so...

pFPPfdpsFPP-

*sNIFF*

*moan*

😨

WHAT THE FUCK

you turn around only to find that strange man from earlier with his nose in your bootycrack.

"I must say, belladonna, your farts are the most scrumptious I've ever smelt! They surpass even Chuuya's!"

Then you pass out from shock.

Next you wake up, you're tied up. and in someone's basement.

And then, you see him.

the guy that sniffed your bootycrack

"Why the hell am I here?! Let me go!"

But he just shook his head.

"nuh-uh"

"fym nuh-uh"

Then, you see all around you are jars.

"If I can't have your affection...then the next best thing would be your farts. I'll collect them and leave you alone, but you're staying here."

As the news hit you in the face just like the time you were sitting on the train at rush hour and someone accidentally fell on you, tears started streaming down your face.

"Why me?"

But he didn't have time to answer. Because just then, your girlfriend broke through the wall.

"I'LL SAVE YOU MY PRECIOUS!!!"

is that Elysia from the hit game Honkai Impact 3rd?!?!?!?! you lucky dog

"Hello? did you hear me?"

Wait a minute. Why is this man still talking to yo-

Oh. you were hallucinating.

(spoiler warning(I think))

elysia has been dead since like forever lmao

Then you started crying (again). Not only were you cursed to spend the rest of your life in this man's basement as his fart cow, but you were also bitchless and so you couldn't experience someone busting down the wall to save you as the sun sets painting the scene a golden color while they run out with you in their arms.

"Shhh, it's o-"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD DAZAI WHAT ARE YOU UP TO AGAIN"

and then you see the most majestic being. he's got those square glasses and ponytail and he looks so godda-

and then more people come and beat the weird man unconcious and they take you to therapy!!! the end.

[tofu0101]

shitpost i just felt like posting something

pookie wookie dazai just got back from work only to see his beloved y/n on the floor groaning

"omg pookie r u ok?!?!?!?!? 😥😥😥😥"

"yea pookie i think im pregatnatnt"

"OMG REALLY😍😍😍"

"yea"

they danced around the living room and then.

"OH MY GOD I TIHNK MY WATER BROKE"

"DON'T WORRY POOKIE ILL DO ANYTHING TO TAKE CARE OF MY OMEGA 👹👹👹👹"

and then they went to the hospital.

"will they be ok doctor"

"yea they actually just gave birth lmao"

"can i see my child"

"yes"

and he arrived to see his precious baby only to find. chuuya.

"NOOOOOO 😨😨😨😨" and then his head exploded.

and then dazai woke up to kunikida's screaming. only to find. that it was all a dream.

Chuuya wasn't his offspring!!!!😊😊😊

but that means he was still bitchless 💔💔💔

[tofu0101]

Doodle (I’m in a artstyle crisis)

[tofu0101]

Mafuyu paint overs from a while back

[tofu0101]

Back from the dead cuz of twitter

yipee

[tofu0101]

at least shes not a ginger

"caramel arrow cookie is a ranger who can split their bow into two blades for close combat"

ah yes. childe genshin impact

[tofu0101]

i drew kirumom but it looks weird

[tofu0101]

Stan king sejong for clear skin

[tofu0101]

MIKUUUUUUUUUU