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too-scared-to-do-this · 4 years ago

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Odd

I remember a time, when my actions didn’t seem so important. When my hand gestures, or smile type, or tone of voice didn’t make me want to hide behind closed doors and under blankets. But I also don’t remember much from that time.

My life before I was twelve? Before I got diagnosed? Not a lot of memories from there. Not even after, to be honest… I know it wasn’t good. Believe me. Beside the occasional good memories, and the scarily-clear bad ones, I also remember this constant feeling of failure to fit in. Of unimportance. Of ‘odd’.

Well, I guess I am ‘odd’. I’m odd because I’m autistic. Living without concrete proof in a world full of people considered normal. (Although normal is a relative term and it could be debatable what it represents.)

I’m also odd, because of the way I was brought up. A family that is open to anything and dabbles in astronomy, physics, geography, mathematic, robotics, technology and psychology. You really can’t say the Asperger’s syndrome doesn’t come through here, when you sit down for a simple conversation with the members of this awesome family of mine.

If you’re an ‘outsider’, you would probably understand half of what we’re saying. But I grew up here. Listened to all the talk about space and what makes the world go around. What makes humans tick. So, when I ‘got out into the world’ I understood nothing of what they were talking about. Cute boys, girls? Who do I like? What is my favorite kind of music? What celebrity am I the biggest fan of? I didn’t even know any celebrities - many years later I still don’t.

So, I guess I am a little ‘odd’, because out of everything that was offered on the table to me, I stuck with psychology. Learning what made people move, what was their motive for a simple question or a complex action. And the fact that at sixteen I understood more than a sixteen-year-old should, made me stick out again. But this time it was easier to forget how ‘odd’ I was. Because at home I had nothing to worry about - my behavior was our normal. By that time, I even found three friends to whom all my strange quirks and reactions were just a part of who I was. I forgot what it was like to be out of line. Be weird and feel like you don’t belong.

I forgot what it was like overthinking every move, every gesture, every blink or movement of the corners of your mouth and fingers. I forgot what it was like to sit still and awkward in a loud, way-too-hot environment, sitting too close to people, sweaty people, because there’s no space. Breath in second hand nicotine, which you hate, because everybody around seems to just love smoking. I forgot what it is like to be out of place…

And with every day passing this feeling seems to follow me. I can’t sit home alone without analyzing my finger movements. “You’re bending your nail again. Pinching your finger. Playing with your neckless. Scratching your arm. Your leg in bouncing. You’re hyperventilating. Stop it. Stop it before you start acting weird.” And already, my hands are flapping, trying to get all these though away from me. But they are flapping, that is a ‘stim thing’ - you shouldn’t be stimming, that is weird; that is autistic behavior. Stop stimming. I stop. My wrists are banging against each other, painfully - stop it. It hurts and you’re stimming again. The hits land even harder.

And this is an ongoing spiral. Whatever I do, whatever I say - I make myself more and more autistic with every passing second. And I don’t know how to stop these thoughts. How to make myself see that no matter what I do, I won’t be able to erase this part of myself. I won’t be able to stop being ‘odd’ just because I sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping when I’m excited. Just because I physically bite my tongue to not dare to speak up again. Just because I force a smile and make myself enjoy the loud and crowded bar I just got dragged into.

…I just want to go home. But not even home is safe anymore…

I don’t know how to stop my head. How to explain that being autistic is the best thing that could ever happen to me. That no matter how weird or stupid or rude I act, my friends won’t leave me just because I flap my hands around when I’m happy. Or because I bang my wrists against each other because I’m nervous or stressed out. I know I won’t be left behind again.

But how do I explain that to my brain? How do I tell it to stop pinpointing every single thing that makes me autistic? That makes me ‘different’ and ‘strange’ and ‘awkward’ and ‘stupid’? And how do I make it believe that autism isn’t the problem here?

Those times when my autism wasn’t every move I made, every gesture showed or smile flashed; those times weren’t good. Not good by a long shot. But right now, I’d give everything for just a sliver of that peace.

Psychology - the one thing that made me relatively ‘normal’ in most people’s eyes and the one thing that gave me comfort during interactions, that got me my friends; has turned into the biggest enemy of all. It turned my brain against me.

And now I suffer the consequences.

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too-scared-to-do-this · 4 years ago

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So I, um... realized I forgot to draw his mustache...?

His mustache! The most important part of this dude!

Should I... Should I try to draw it in...? I-I will try to draw it in. I wanna see how ridiculous that turns out XD <3

Aaaaand Remus :D The anatomy is all over the place, but I feel like that fits with him XD

Most detailed one, most fun to draw BUT the least fun to color…

#ts remus #remus sanders #the duke #duke sanders #ts duke #intrusive thoughts #ts intrusive thoughts #rat-man #the rat man #demus #ts demus

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too-scared-to-do-this · 4 years ago

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Insufferable

Chapter three - Bloodshed

Sander’s sides fanfiction - ‘Off the Devil’s head’ spin-off (can be read as a stand-alone)

Wordcount: 1748

Ship: intrulogical

TW: Um so... there’s not a lot that I noticed actually, but a really big one is accidental self-harm (scratching) - not graphic, but it does kind of resolve around that; there’s mention of blood. There’s also cursing, as per usual, some autistic cuteness and I feel like that’s about it. Do let me know if I’ve missed any though!

Summary of the whole story: This might have not been the brightest idea - steeling from a cart right in the fucking smack-dab-middle of the Square. But Remus never claimed his ideas were bright. Never said his words and actions were appropriate either. So how in all off goddamned hell did he find himself sprawled out on a giant comfortable throne instead of a cold and dark (and very drippy) prison cell - with guards actually guarding his safety instead of assuring his imprisonment - is completely beyond him.

Link to AO3 for those who prefer reading there ^^

----------------------------

Chapter three - Bloodshed

The king was never the best with reading faces. Some emotions just run past him like the rabbit he met yesterday.

But the expression this man in front of him wore? Now, that was unmistakable.

Logan’s lip tugged upwards in a tiny crooked grin. The thief’s reaction was rather… endearing. The nerves crowding all crooks of his face. Every bone and muscle. “My name is Logan.”

Remus blinked. Surprised. “You just gave your name to a random dude in a forest.” he pointed out. And did the same literally - he pointed at the king.

“Well, yes, I suppose.” the king shrugged again, deciding that if the stranger didn’t hurt him yet, he probably wasn’t going to anytime soon.

He made the daring step towards the thief. Then a few more comic ones to get even closer to the flat land that surrounded the cottage (presumably the thief’s house). The grass was starting to get way too itchy, just standing there.

Our beloved idiot watched with open aw. Well… that was certainly a surprise. “Hey!” he called out, rushing after him. “So… what is the king doing out this late?” he asked with a wide grin and probably a little too close in Logans personal space. Which was confirmed, when Logan took a few small steps backwards.

“I needed to clear my head.” It was probably for the best that he didn’t say from what.

“Oh, you couldn’t sleep, hah? Did I charm you that much?” an eyebrow wiggle and yet another seductive wink. This time very much visible for the poor king. Who in return almost immediately looked away and grew pink on his cheeks. Remus almost died right there.

The king was blushing. Logan, the weird-ass idiot, was blushing and pulling of the cutest expression he has ever seen.

“Am… well… I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t say charmed…”

“Wait! So you were thinking of me!”

“Yes, but-“

“Hah! I knew it! I’m charming as fuck! Not even a king could resist this face!” Rem turned two thumbs towards his face.

“I’m a king-“

“Yes I know that.”

Logan’s eyes lifted up just for a second, lading on the thief. He didn’t like to be interrupted… “-ah… and as a king I need to fulfil my duties. One of those rules is-“

“Well obviously, you have duties. We all have them. I for one, have to keep up the quota of stolen things. You see?” Rem stretched out an apple that he seemed to pull out of know here. one of apples he managed to steel that afternoon.

Without realization Lo started scratching his upper-arm. “Yes, I-I see. But what I was going to say was, that one-“

“I feel like you’re going to say you’re taking me to the guards. Are you? Will you now take me to the guards and get me arrested?”

“Oh, would you please stop interrupting me?!” the king barked. The scratching was now leaving red mark on his skin, from how deep his nails dug, but he didn’t realize that. Instead, he took a calming breath - interruptions made him nervous and uneasy. “I’m not getting you arrested! Why would I do that?”

It was a rhetorical question, but Remus felt the need to mumble an answer. “Because I stole something…?”

“So, as I was saying, one of my duties is to know the names of all the people in my kingdom. I needed to know yours now that I know you’re inhabiting it.” he finished, eyes everywhere else but the thief. He didn’t see the expression that settled on Rem’s face. Nor did he see his big green eyes fly towards the hand he still didn’t realize he was scratching. Or the concern that etched itself into his smooth features. “That’s the only reason you occupied my mind. I have more pressing matters to deal with and I can’t allow distractions.”

“Stop.”

The voice, that until now sounded so upbeat and loud, now somehow took on a cautious quiet edge.

“Excuse me?” Logan’s eyebrows furrowed, head cocking to the left.

In a matter of seconds, the thief was next to him. Hand lifting towards him. “Stop scratching your hand. It’s going to bleed.” he grabbed the offending hand and pulled it off. Logan jerked at the contact. he didn’t like to be thatched. Not at all.

Remus, of course noticed and let go immediately, but his brain wasn’t one to give much thought to these things. With all things considered, he was probably going to be touching this man in the next five minutes again. Not sexually obviously, though that would be interesting enough. (Rem sometimes really wished he could his thoughts up.)

But true to his carelessness, disregarding everything he just witnessed, he went and grabbed the scratched-at hand, inspecting the red markings. “It is already bleeding. Come with me.” He tightened his grip and pulled the confused and very uncomfortable king behind him.

“Can you please let go of me?” he asked in a strained voice. The thief of course didn’t hear him, talking over him in that overly fast manner. Pushing the door to the cabin open and dragging him in.

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re very hot with blood-streaks and blood does get me hard sometimes, but at the same time, I don’t want you bleeding out here. f the guards found out you croaked I’d certainly go to jail.”

“I would really be grateful if you’d let go now-“

Honestly, I Logan was just a little less Logan, he’d think the man actually listened to him. But of course not - he just let go for long enough to fetch a first-aid kit. Well, mor like an old rusty metal box with a few bandages (surprisingly cleaner than he expected) and some disinfections.

“Is this like a thing you do? Scratching yourself when your uncomfortable or something?” while talking, Remus un-crewed the lid of the disinfection buttle. “This is going to sting a little. It’s not old or anything, but it isn’t that high-end crap you probably use at the castle. This is good old, home made medicine. Just like mamma thought me.” and poured it all over the kings hand.

Logan jerked again pulling a face and hissing.

“Told ya it would hurt, princes.” rem rolled his eyes. “Now don’t be a whynie and give me your hand. Imma bandage it up.” he gave a crooked smile up at the king, stretching the material dramatically.

“A-are those clean?” lo peeped up, eyeing the off-white thing.

“Am…” Rem looked at it closer, held it up against the moonlight creeping through the window. “I didn’t use these before.” he shrugged and started wrapping it around the wounded hand. “So yeah. Probably.”

To say the king was uncomfortable would be an understatement. But he kept a steady mantra in his head - “There is an ungodly amount of disinfection on my skin - that will kill all germs on that bandage. I won’t get infected. And I’ll tell the nurses to change it the moment I get back to the castle.”

Silence fell upon the two. A weird heavy silence., that didn’t really need to be broken, but Remus was obviously already getting bored of it. “I grin when I’m nervous. And babble. I fucking babble and babble, and babble until my tongue hurts. I didn’t even know that was possible, until one day I woke up and my tongue was sore from the day before.”

“So, it’s safe to assume, you’re nervous now?” Lo questioned eyes finally registering where he was. In the dark outside the cottage seemed much smaller. It wasn’t big (at all) but it did seem bigger from the inside. Though, maybe that was the lack of pompous furniture he was used to. A small kitchen table with two chars, a tiny stove and sink next to. And that was pretty much all. Not even a fireplace, just a bed tucked in the corner, under the window.

Even with no daylight this place seemed old and odd. Yet somehow that bothered Logan less, since this odd place belong to an equally odd person. It was far from good, but it wasn’t bad to be inside.

His eyes ran over all the treasures undoubtedly collected from years of thievery.

“Nah. Why would I be?”

Because you’re babbling? - Would have been Logan’s actual answer, but why even bother at this point.

“Besides, I obviously have the upper hand here. You’re like a twig - the only thing you have on me, your highness, is your height.”

Well, that was true. Logan, was extraordinarily tall. Most times he had to actually look down to meet his subjects’ eyes. This man - Remus - wasn’t that much shorter from him, but if he stood close, he would barely reach his nose.

“You are short.” Logan nodded in agreement.

“Hey!” Rem mumbled his protest. “You’re the one who’s obnoxiously tall!”

“I can’t disagree with that.”

“God, you’re no fun.” Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m all done.” he announced, letting go of the now tightly wrapped up hand. “You fulfilled your duty; you know my name. Now you can leave.”

“I suppose I can…” Logan mumbled, but he didn’t make any move. He stayed, eyes still dancing over objects stocked on shelves and in windows. “What’s that?” he pointed at one.

“Oh. This?” the owner of the house walked over to the shiny metal and picked it up, showing the royal man. Logan nodded seriously. “That’s the dagger I stole of the guard that arrested me last time. the fucker didn’t know what hit him.” he snorted. “Ah, how I love revenge.”

“You stole a guard’s dagger?”

“Oh yeah. Many. This one’s just the only one I didn’t lose yet.”

“How can you lose a dagger that big?” Logan’s forehead creased and head cocked to the left in curiosity. Remus mouth pulled up in a crooked grin. Looks like the majesty ain’t going nowhere any time soon.

“Hey, royalty, did you ever have a chance to look at the stars from this part of the forest?”

“You have not answered my question. But no. I have not.”

Rem gave his kindest grin (that thing would still terrify hundreds of people - but he at least tries) and walked over to the door throwing it open. “Let’s go outside then and I’ll tell you all about my lost daggers and the many bloodshed I caused.”

Stars. Logan didn’t need more.

-------------------------

So, hey guys :D I’ve decided I’m giving up on writing Logan’s side of the story so Logan-like. I’m just going to use my simple mixed learned English and will be happy with that. It’s too much work looking up big words for fanfics XD

That’s about it. I hope you enjoyed the chap ^^

(Um... I’ll be an annoying little needy baby for a tiny second... Hey guys! You commented on the announcement of this story, but I haven’t seen ya around here, so I’m not sure whether you didn’t see it or just aren’t interested. Obviously, it is very much fine if you aren’t, that’s no problem. But in the off-chance you haven’t seen it yet, I’m tagging you this one time, if that’s all right...^^

So here we go: @thiswitchisgay-goodforher @midnightstorm-underthe-moon and of course you lovely @a-formless-entity - you’re always supporting my art and my songs and that is way too sweet of you. Seriously, thank you, you make my heart really really happy and I’m really grateful you exist and are here <3 <3 )

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too-scared-to-do-this · 4 years ago

Text

Insufferable

Chapter two - A king’s duty is a king’s duty

Sander’s sides fanfiction - ‘Off the Devil’s head’ spin-off (can be read as a stand-alone)

Wordcount: 1928

Ship: intrulogical

TW: cursing - a lot of cursing (still Remus, lovlies, get used to it), confusion, cute bickering (I think...?), forests at night, very obvious autistic tics (based on my own, so I know they are real and how they work, in case you’re not sure ^^ I wouldn’t write something that I haven’t checked at least twice with someone who has, or deals with or is deeply interested in this stuff). And I think that’s all. If anything pops up, do let me know :) <3

Link to AO3 for those who prefer reading there ^^

----------------------------

Chapter two - A king’s duty is a king’s duty

There’s not a lot of things Logan dislikes. There’s a total of fifteen so far. But disruption of order, change and tall grass is definitely in the top ten. And wouldn’t you look at that?

Green-haired hurricanes are tearing threw his peaceful kingdom, disrupting peace - thus creating an unnecessary change. Which caused his sleepless state, which lead him down a path where he has to hop from foot to foot like a dear, to eliminate any unnecessary contact with grass.

And the fact that all these things alone cause unnecessary stress, let alone combined, just makes it all worse. His movements are more jagged then usual, more frantic. Gestures all over the place in unorganized manors. And his eyebrows are stuck in a constant ‘thinking scowl’ as his advisors call it.

To any other person, his behavior would seem truly strange - Logan can’t say he doesn’t feel a little embarrassed by it, even now that he’s alone. But there are some things that just can’t be helped.

Besides, all of his kingdom know that their king is a ‘little weird’.

Since Logan first sat on the throne - at the mere age of thirteen - everybody’s been in love with their ruler. It sounds a little odd, that they let a thirteen-year-old kid on the throne, but Logan’s never really been a kid. Since when he can remember he read books far too difficult for the usual kid his age, listened in on conversations he probably had no business listening to, let alone understanding. Sat by his father’s side, while he made life-concerning decisions. Watched his mother as she took care of every problem with caution and care not everybody could offer. Although Logan never got around to fully understanding that care, he learned to act the same way. Same words, same gestures. Nobody was worried when the crown got passed down to him. All the people in the kingdom knew they were in good hands.

Logan’s very first mission was learning the name of every single person in town. It wasn’t an easy task, but it wasn’t as hard as someone would expect, since a surprisingly big amount of people shared the same name. And Logan had a really good memory when it came to association. A face to a name. A shape to a math formula. The smell, color, density and overall look to a chemical. And of course, the exact numeric measurement of a star’s whereabouts.

But there was no way of ‘associating’ his way out of this. He had no clue of the density, the weight, the pace, the name, nor the whereabouts of this mysterious disrupter of peace. All he knew was, that his hair was unnaturally green and he looked way too skinny for a wealthy towns-man - which just underlined the reason why he was steeling.

Oh, and let’s not forget he wanted to kiss Logan. Right there on the Square, apparently.

The young king scratched his arm, absentmindedly, trying not to think too much about it. Not that that’s helping. Questions keep popping up, tripping up his sane thought process.

It’s not like Logan liked the idea of the stranger kissing him. He didn’t like to be touched, let alone landing his lips to someone else. But the thoughts didn’t leave him alone.

Maybe that’s why he was here, stepping over unnecessarily high strands of grass in the middle of the night. He might not like the greenery touching him, and the jutting out branches and leaves of trees and bushes cause him immense panic (and make him scratch his exposed body parts like crazy), but he actually likes the forest. It is really calming (for the most part, anyways).

He hoped that this almost-calming surrounding would help him clear his head. But it just seemed to stress him out even more.

The thoughts kept on swiveling in his head - swirling and twirling, not letting the unknown thief out of their claw-clad grasp.

Logan needed to find out the thief’s name. He knows everybody’s name. And if this thief stays close to town, he’s considered a citizen. He needs to learn his name.

Not far from the obsessing king, Remus was lounging out in the hammock he hung outside Matilde’s old run-down cottage. One leg swung over the edge, he swayed from side to side, twisting the silver ring on his slender finger.

Bored out of his mind.

There wasn’t many days, when Remus’s screwed-up brain didn’t come up with things to entertain him; but some days even that head needed some rest, it seemed. Apparently today was one of those days.

Not a single fun thought. Even the inner monologue he never seemed to be able to end, somehow bored him to death. The only thing peeking even the slightest of interest in him, was the constant image of those scarily-blue eyes the king-dude possessed.

Seriously. In all his life, he has never once seen such ocean-blue eyes. Dark and deep, holding many a secret. It made Remus desperate to know each and every single one.

But that was not happening. No matter how much the eyes mesmerized him. How much he couldn’t get them out of his head. (Agh, Jesus fucking Christ those eyes…) There was just no way he could go back to that town.

The king has let him go once (he chalked it up to his good looks, charm and smooth words) and the second time is as likely as Matilde coming back from wherever she fled to.

So here he was. Bored as all hell.

He sighed heavily, wondering what kingdom was next on his agenda tomorrow. When suddenly he heard a scrunch. Then another. And another. This was no squirrel. Remus sat up immediately, eyes darting along the dark forest.

It was so late. What the hell would anybody be doing up at this hour of the night?

He darted out of the hammock - almost falling face first when his foot got caught in the fabric - hiding in the near-by bushes. Thank the lords that he didn’t forget to turn the fucking lights off again.

The scrunching got louder by the second, and Remus crouched lower.

Low muttering drafted into his ears. “…nice of you good sir, but I’ll have to decline. I am not sure that would be appropriate considering we just met…” A dark figure, drafted in shadow came into view. “And besides, you haven’t even introduced yourself. I know the name of every citizen in this kingdom. For the sake of consistency, I would also like to find out yours…” Jesus Christ, who were they talking to? And what were they doing?!

One leg up in the air, like soldiers marching, then quickly stamped down, hopping to the other. Weird movements all over the place, not even in a straight line, like a sane person. Was this person drunk? They looked like a fucking goat, jumping from one small jutting out pebble on the mountain-side to the other.

The site alone would make Remus want to piss himself, but together with the inconsistent murmuring? He couldn’t hold back the snort.

The figure immediately froze in place. All movement and words falling into still silence. “Who’s there?” They called out cautiously.

Remus bit his tugging lip hard. Fuck.

Well, there was no backtracking now. Besides, it’s not like he was scared. It was more likely he’d scare the crazy-pants over there. So slowly, he razed from his hiding spot with hands in the air and a huge grin on his face. “What are you doing dude? You look like a fucking crazy person.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?” came the person’s answer. Voice laced with nerves.

“Just a random dude in a forest.” Rem shrugged.

“That’s not a very satisfying answer.”

Roman bit back a laugh. Seriously, what the hell? “Don’t worry I won’t hurt you.” he snickered. Then this thought blinked into his head, and as you know, thought’s bring words. Stupid, embarrassing and unnecessary words. “Unless you want me to.” he winked seductively. Then realized the person probably couldn’t even see his face, let alone the wink he just threw at them. Ah well, at least it saved him some embarrassment, when his tongue betrayed him.

Swear to god, the person ‘Eep’-ed at this. He made this strangled sound that sounded like a nervous whine mixed with surprise cut in half and that just made Remus want to laugh even more. “That’s really unnecessary, thank you.” And they’re still being polite! How even…?

Rem couldn’t help it at this point. It was too much. He burst out cackling like to crazy idiot he is. Probably scaring the poor person to death. (But then again, the ‘poor person’ did come wondering into a forest in the middle of the night, muttering to themselves and jumping around like an idiot.)

“Am… You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Oh that’s right…“ Rem’s forhead creased in thought. “…what was the question again?”

“Who are you.”

“I’m Remus.”

If Logan could allow himself to curse, he would. But he couldn’t so instead he just gave a long exasperate sigh. “And who might that be?”

The stranger stepped closer, allowing the fleeting moon-light to reach his features and gave a big bow. Hand gesture and all. “Me, obviously.” No matter how much he disliked to admit it, Remus was every bit as dramatic as his brother. If not more…

The king’s eyes lit up with recognition (not that Rem could see). Well, guess his duty’s done then - the thief’s name is Remus. Huh…Very interesting.

“Well, now that you know my name, it’d be nice to get yours, pretty.” Rem grinned, daring to get a few more steps in. Bringing him closer to the still standing-frozen person.

From here he could finally see more of them. Well, him. Because apparently the smooth deep voice he was conversing with was the royal-head himself.

And his royal head slanted to the left slightly, eyebrows drawing together. “Why should I give my name to unknown man in the forest?”

“Why should I give my name to some random bloke, then?”

“Because I asked you to?”

Remus wondered what this dude’s problem was. Logan wondered why even wanted to get out of the safety of his chamber in the first place.

“Alright then, weirdo, tell me one good reason why I should answer and you shouldn’t.” Rem crossed his arms over his chest. Yes, he was aware he was talking to the king. But that doesn’t mean he had to play nice.

Rem treats everybody the same way, because that’s how it should be. (Maybe that’s what landed his ass behind bars twice already…)

Logan jutted out his chin. He could use the ‘King-card’ - as his advisor calls it. Could easily force the thief to answer without any objections (that is if he abbeys rules; which he should.) But honestly, Logan felt like doing neither. It was late, and he was supposed to stop obsessing about this whole thing. Which he did. The thief’s name was Remus.

So, as gracefully as a king can, he shrugged. “I don’t have one.”

“Well, shit. Then you ain’t getting my name, darling.”

The royal couldn’t decide whether the thief was that simple-minded or just easily distracted. “You’ve already said your name.”

Our beloved idiot’s expression froze, grin falling. “Ah, fuck.” his shoulders did the same. (In a very overdramatic - and admittedly, impressively flexible - way)

Well, if he wasn’t screwed before, now he certainly was.

-----------------------------

Jesus Christ, I’ve never cursed more in my life and I hate it so much! I don’t curse in real life, not even while texting with friends (I use shit, hell and damn, but that’s about it) and this is killing me on a whole other level! But this is Remus, and I feel like a good Remus requires a hella lot of curses.

So here we are. Me actually cursing more then my brain can accept it. But at least I get to project on Logan, right? I love autistic Logan, too damn much. He’s too precious. And the greenery thing? Believe me, my mum constantly makes fun of it XD But I don’t mind, I know I look ridiculous.

Anyways! I hope you liked this chap! ^^ I still have no idea where the hell I’m going with this, but I guess we’ll see where we end up.

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too-scared-to-do-this · 4 years ago

Text

Insufferable

Chapter one - Strike a match and watch it burn

Sander’s sides fanfiction - ‘Off the Devil’s head’ spin-off (can be read as a stand-alone)

Wordcount: 1172

Ship: intrulogical

TW: cursing - a lot of cursing (this is Remus after all), thievery, angry man, chasing, Remus somewhat-objectifying people and shit-talking, second-hand embarrassment aaaaand I feel like that might be all. If anything pops up, do let me know :)

Link to AO3 for those who prefer reading there ^^

------------------------------

Chapter one - Strike a match and watch it burn

This might have not been the brightest idea - steeling from a cart right in the fucking smack-dab-middle of the Square. But Remus never claimed his ideas were bright.

If they prevented him from starvation, they were more than perfect in his book. Although this might have been just a tad too stupid even for him. No, not stupid - daring. Because why else would he find himself in this goddamned idiotic situation; running at full speed and dodging stuck up towns-people left and right just to escape the angry cart-owner that’s gaining on him.

To hell with all this crowd! There’s literally no space to squeeze through! But they have no problem parting for the hurling grease-ball that’s flying after him. (Flying as flying - he’s stumbling from foot to foot breathing heavier than a dog in hot weather.)

And for a stupid reason even! Fucking apples! Two fucking apples! The man wouldn’t even miss them! And it’s not like the town folk would mind. Yet, he apparently really, really does.

So, guess what? This idea blows. And Rem is fully aware of this. But what else is he supposed to do but keep on dodging people and trying not to run over any poor kid in his way. Constantly checking behind his back to see if he lost the overly-heavy man.

Ah, to hell with pleasantries, call it what it is - the man was fat. Really, really fat. - Remus thought to himself. No matter how well his mum razed him, and how much he respects any body-tipe, this man just couldn’t be described any other way.

His head swiveled backwards, checking in on the now-barely shouting pig. A smirk stretched across his lips - he was a good stretch of path ahead of him and the cart-owner was kneeling over, panting hard. Good. Stupid idea, or not, he outran him. Now only to find a good hiding spot before he get’s caught by the gua-

Rem’s body collided with something. Something tall, hard and surprisingly really nice-smelling. He went flying backwards, butt hitting the ground harder than he expected. “Au…” he murmured rubbing his ass - not that the pain was that important at the moment.

His eyes blinked then focused on the pair of shoes standing still in front of him.

So what he ran into wasn’t a ‘what’ but a ‘who’ apparently. Eyes traveling up the fancy pants and suit, he took in the sheer height of the person standing in front of him. A very tall, very angular, very… lacking-emotional-expression-in-the-face person. Only the slight widening of his specks-hidden scarily-blue eyes was indication of any surprise.

Remus gulped. If it weren’t for the whole sitch he’s currently in, he might even let himself dwell on the fact that this someone is extremely hot. Not that he doesn’t let a few lusty thoughts cross his mind - that wouldn’t be Remus, if he didn’t. And as always, thoughts are accompanied with wide grins and words that spill out without control.

“Jesus Christ, if I wasn’t fleeing, I’d kiss you right here on the spot.” Well, no amount of mental slapping will take back that stupid sentence. His grin widens involuntarily - a nervous tick. Hops up from the ground. “But as you can see, handsome, I’m on the run.” Fucking hell, he winked. He actually winked. “So, I’ll be on my way.” Remus tips an imaginary hat, bowing slightly and steppes aside to leave.

Just then the crowd behind him parts again and the fat-ball stumbles into view. “Your majesty! Be careful, that’s the thief!”

Rem’s eyes widen at the thought; corners of his mouth pulling painfully. Your majesty?!

He looks the guy up and down quickly once again and it all comes crashing down. The shoes, the suit, even the fancy hair and glasses. Jesus fucking Christ, Rem just rammed into the king.

He gulped, trying to step around the him, but there was no way of getting out of the circle of citizens that has formed. Their majesty’s eyes were trained on him, the slight surprise in them fully gone. There was literally nothing that could give away his intentions - not a single tick of the muscle.

Remus was so, so screwed.

Well, prison, here he comes again. Those long nights of dripping water from god knows where and the awful company of his own suffocating thoughts. Back then he had the dragon-witch to talk with during the nights at least, now though… Matilde was far too far away by this point - fleeing from the forest because of idiots that attacked her with torches. Not that she couldn’t defend herself - that creature was the most powerful woman Rem has ever met - but she just didn’t want to waste her energy. “Better hidden and at peace, then discovered and at war.” she used to say.

That’s exactly what Rem was living by - camping out in her old house, rotating the surrounding kingdoms to steel from. Ya know, to keep himself alive out there. Yet here he was - discovered and at fucking war. He was going to prison, and that was that. No escape this time.

But then the king did something neither of them expected. His gorgeous blue eyes blinked and then he just so slightly moved aside, giving Remus the opening he needed to run. He gaped at the King for about a second, before his loud head returned back to earth. An internally embarrassing seductive wink later he was running again. Fleeing the outraged and surprised gazes. Headed for the woods. Mentally thanking the crazy king for saving his ass. Mind full of images of extremely piercing cold blue eyes.

And far behind his back the king pretended to be showed out of the way the moment the thief pushed past him. He on his own had no idea why he had done this. But the angry barking of Jeff the cart-owner and questioning of his loyal subjects weren’t the suitable surroundings to figure this out.

Instead, he reassured his guards that, indeed, he was fine and stood up straight again.

“He ran off!!” Jeff sneered angrily, still panting. “Your majesty, he’s running away with my apples! Do something!”

Coral, the head guard, turned to her king. “Should we go after him?” The rest of her crew immediately stiffened and got ready to move.

But Logan just held up his hand. He looked over his shoulder, searching for the wild green-haired hurricane that just tore through his peaceful kingdom. When he couldn’t see him, he announced: “There’s no need. He’s gotten too far by now. The castle will compensate for your loss, Jeff.” he nodded towards the heavy-boned bolding young man.

“Thank you, my king! You truly are the best!”

But the annoying citizen was already forgotten. Logan gave a curt nod, turned, and with the five guards following him, left. Walking the path which he came from - the one leading alongside the thick dark forest back to his castle.

-------------------------------

I feel like “He’s running away with my apples” is such a stupidly hilarious sentence XD

Aaaaanyways! I know said any day now, and not today, but I caught the Writing bug and now it’s midnight and here we are.

How have you been? I’ve been AWOL for a while I guess. But I’m back. With full force and new and fresh interest in writing this thing! I just hope I’ll do Rem’s character justice.

Do let me know how you like it so far! And, you know I love speculations and theories - so bring them on! Maybe they’ll end up in the story because I like them enough XD

See ya next chap! <3

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