transmasc-advice-blog

[transmasc-advice-blog]

I might be going to a barber soon for a proper haircut(!!!) but I have NO idea what will happen or what to say or what to do or anything. I've only had my hair cut professionally ONCE before and it was at the walmart salon when I was like 6 and after that all of my haircuts have been done by me or my mom at home so ANY advice or information would be a huge help cause I am so nervous.

sorry if this is too late!

have a good idea of what you want. bring some reference photos, as some hairdressers like to have visuals. explain clearly what you want, how long you want your hair, which parts you want cut or not cut, how you want it styled, etc. don’t be afraid to intervene if they cut it wrong, it’s your hair and you’re paying.

in my experience, if i feel like chatting, they’ll chat with me and be friendly, and if i don’t want to talk, they’re fine with that too and won’t think i’m being rude.

if you don’t feel safe at any time, for any reason, which you might especially if it is a men-only salon, don’t be afraid to stop and leave, put your safety and comfort first.

be prepared to get an absolute shit haircut. a lot of hairdressers i’m been to have been shit, it take some time to find a good one.

[transmasc-advice-blog]

TW; MENTIONS OF BLOOD AND SELF HARM

Hey, I'm not sure if this is the right place to do this but I was wonder if we could have a discussion on how cutting is NOT the only form of self-harm. As stupid as it seems looking back I had myself convinced for a while that I wasn't self-harming because I wasn't cutting. I would punch the doorframe until the pain cleared my head, sometimes my knuckles would bleed from it. I feel like other forms of self-harm aren't mentioned enough and there may be others like me who are/were doing it but told themselves otherwise because it wasn't cutting.

I don't want anyone to avoid seeking out help like I did for so long because they think they don't need it, I'm now in a much better place mentally but I still regret not seeking out help sooner.

Sorry if this isn't the right place to put this, you can ignore it if you don't feel like this is a good place for this, I'm going to ask a couple other blogs the same thing because I feel like this is important if there is anyone else out there like me

of course, this is an important message. i also used to self harm in non-cutting ways, like hitting myself until bruises formed. there’s a lot of ways that people self harm that don’t involve cutting, or don’t leave scars or permanent marks. they are still just as harmful and there should be more awareness about this topic.

[transmasc-advice-blog]

Hey, do you have any websites regarding comfortable underwear for trans men? I hate the feminine style of underwear, but the ones I'd be comfortable in, like boxers, don't fit my body

Thank you in advance c:

I know spectrum outfitters sells boxers for trans men, there are also styles of women’s underwear that are like boxers (that’s what i use, because they’re cheaper). you could maybe find some on amazon that aren’t so feminine if they aren’t available in stores near you. hope this helps!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

Transmasc just means trans man. Why do people pretend this term actually includes non-binary people past demiboy and """"non-binary man""""

why don’t you want to include non binary people lol? just because you believe the term doesn’t include them doesn’t change the meaning of the term. transmasc means that you are a more masculine gender than what you were assigned at birth. so agender, androgynous nonbinary, and a bunch of other genders are/can be included in that. there’s a long history of transmasc butches too. at the end of the day all the labels don’t really matter too much, but there’s no reason to purposefully exclude people with the same/very similar experiences to us. hope this helps!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

seconding the upping your binder size since i bought an official underworks binder from amazon after hearing good reviews and couldn't breathe 😭didnt measure myself either since i think id freak out if i found out how big my chest actually is

ok i know it’s hard but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE I AM BEGGING YOU, MEASURE YOURSELF. if you’re still growing, even if you aren’t but just to be sure, measure yourself every time/every other time you get a binder. if you think a binder that used to work for you is getting a bit tight, measure!!! measure!!! you cannot be guessing your binder (chest COMPRESSION) size my dude!! you may be wrong!

check the size charts on every site, they will be different for different brands.

also, the size up thing is for if you’re in between sizes. like you’re a 35 and the sizes are 32-35 and 35-37. if you’re 33 get the 32-35, don’t size up or it’ll be too big. but if you don’t measure, you can’t know if you need to size up, BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW YOUR SIZE.

love you all please be safe <3

[transmasc-advice-blog]

If I can take my binder off without taking my shirt off, does that mean it's too big? Like I can get my whole arm in there.

that does sound a bit big but i mean if it is working for you meaning binding well enough for you, not hurting you or anything, etc than it’s working. as long as you get what you want out of it.

if you think it’s too big- measure yourself again, check the size chart on the site you got it from, make sure it’s the right size for that site. even if you got that size on another site, every place is different. if the binder you got is the right size, but you still think it’s not binding well enough, you can try a size down, but be careful! personally, i would just try a different brand. it could be that that brand’s binders just don’t work for you.

[transmasc-advice-blog]

hey! im running a survey regarding gender affirming undergarments for trans and nonbinary folks, as a way to gauge the community's needs and desires. its my dream to open physical stores selling gender affirming undergarments to make acquiring them easier!

heres the link! if you aren't comfortable answering this ask thats ok!

https://forms.gle/DZmXM8tMZkyHAVCu7

i think a physical store is a great idea! I’m excited!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

hey! im running a survey regarding gender affirming undergarments for trans and nonbinary folks, as a way to gauge the community's needs and desires. its my dream to open physical stores selling gender affirming undergarments to make acquiring them easier!

heres the link! if you aren't comfortable answering this ask thats ok!

https://forms.gle/DZmXM8tMZkyHAVCu7

i think a physical store is a great idea! I’m excited!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

hey y’all, a reminder:

please please please SIZE UP when you order a binder, unless you are literally the smallest measurement for the given size. i just made this mistake, i was the max measurement for the size and i thought it was fine and now i have the binder and it is tight and uncomfortable. also if you are reading this how long have you had your binder on? and drink some water!!

love,

arlo

[transmasc-advice-blog]

Advice for transmascs and honestly all trans people and people in general, READ GENDERQUEER BY MAIA KOBABE!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

thanks for the recommendation!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

not transmasc but afab enby

I'm having this weird dilemma where I'm happy presenting feminine for the most part, I'm comfortable with my body and all that but recently i've realized how much i dislike my own voice. i really want a gravelly masc voice, but t would come with other changes i don't want. it kinda sucks because it looks like you can only voice train to an extent. I'm not really sure what to specifically ask, but do you have resources on transitioning your voice?

check out this post of ours and this post from trans teen survival guide

good luck!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

hi.

no question, but thanks for creating this thing.

have a good day! (or night)

thanks!! it’s nice to know we’re appreciated ❤️❤️❤️ very sweet thank you!!!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

Is it normal to deal with other "trans men" constantly being transphobic and telling people to detransition? It makes me so dysphoric but they're all over this site like roaches. That stuff isn't normal on reddit and I'm really not used to it here.

i don’t know what kinda circles you’ve fallen into, but get out. that’s not normal. there’re plenty of really nice groups of transmascs on here you’ve just gotta find them.

[transmasc-advice-blog]

How can I figure out if I should go on t or not? I don’t have physical dysphoria really (although there’s definitely been an uptick since I started college, but before that in years past I only ever really got social dysphoria) so it’s not a clear cut decision for me. I’m trying to figure out if I need it and I don’t really know how to do that because all the advice online is for people whose dysphoria is more of an obvious problem.

well, how do you feel about the effects of testosterone? do you want those changes, do you think they will they help you live happily? if it’s an option, you could go to your doctor or a gender clinic or an lgbt center in your area and say you’re thinking about starting hrt but are unsure and would like some info on it. they will explain and may help you decide whether it’s for you! plus, many places require therapy before starting you on hrt. that therapy is partly to make sure testosterone is right for you! so, do some research, do some thinking, talk to some people about it, and i’m sure you’ll figure it out.

good luck!!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

Is it normal to like. Not like packing? I was curious about it so I crocheted myself one and whenever I try to wear it it just looks and feels weird. Like idk how it’s supposed to sit and it just feels wrong on me. Kind of dysphoric, actually. It’s really strange and I’m wondering if that’s an experience any other transmasc people have had.

completely normal. packing isn’t for everyone! you can try another kind if you want to, but plenty of trans guys/transmasc don’t pack and don’t like packing.

[transmasc-advice-blog]

middle aged lady on my bus just called someone's partner "your whimsical idiot boyfriend" over the phone . with sincere frustration might I add

[transmasc-advice-blog]

“Is it normal?” The binding edition

Yes:

Getting winded after walking quickly/upstairs with binder on, but able to catch breath

Chafing in the underarm areas

Soreness (during or after) in arms, shoulders, or back

Increased acne on chest or back

Mild anxiety about tightness

Chest sagging

No, take it off and rest, see a doctor if problem gets worse or doesn’t go away after taking the binder off (or after one week):

Nausea during or after binding, including nausea caused by pain

Bruising

Out of breath/can’t catch breath when not wearing binder

Skin rash

Sharp pains in ribs

Not able to cough or sneeze

Numbness in arms

Feeling too tired/sore to do everyday activities

Suddenly having any of the above symptoms even if you’ve been binding for years 

No, see a doctor ASAP, could be a sign of serious injury:

Anything from the above category if you can just tell/feel something is wrong, better safe than sorry

Extreme claustrophobia/panic attacks 

Sharp pain in chest/heart skipping beats or beating very fast

Not able to breathe  

Dizziness

Blueness in lips or fingertips

Change in shape of ribcage

Fainting