I take requests!š§øšTrigger warning for most contentš18+ MDNI
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Sorry for the inactivity Iāve been working and also exploring making video edits and this is defo my fave one Iāve made.
#jiara#jiara obx#jiara outer banks#jiaraedit#JJ maybank#JJ maybank edit#kiara carrera#kiara carerra#outer banks edit#outer banks fandom#paramore#paramore edit#music edit#romantic edit#ship edit
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Saw this TikTok by @ editmxnds29 and it made me think of deep wounds š„²š„²
#jj maybank headcanon#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank edit#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank imagine#jj obx imagine#jj outer banks#jj maybank#JJ maybank angst
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Soo I made something again š«¢ sorry about this one
#jj maybank didnāt die#JJ maybank edit#jj maybank moodboard#JJ maybank sad edit#rudy pankow#Rudy pankow edit#nine inch nails#sad edit#outer banks#outer banks fandom#outer banks edit#Rafe Cameron#looking for mutuals#video edit#new to editing#music video edit#music headcanons#obx#obx angst#JJ maybank hurt#JJ maybank angst#jj maybank obx#jj maybank fic
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Stand by me
#JJ maybank#video edit#my first video edit#TikTok wouldnāt let me upload#please give me attention#please give me a chance#please give me some love#please boost#please reblog#please support#my blog sucks#can you tell iām depressed#outer banks fandom#how to boost my tumblr posts?#how to get more reach#boost this#boost my account#pls
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Someone recommended me some good angst JJ / rafe fics on here pls
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sorry if youāve answered this already but is relapse and a half over
Nahh defo not. Iām just all over the place with all my creative projects atm. Sorry about the wait lol. Thanks for the support. Stay safe <3
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Guysss omg I just made my first video edit and im like actually quite proud of myself wtfff I might make a TikTok account to post this from I really hope yāall like it
#JJ maybank#jj maybank edit#video edit#jj maybank x pogue!reader#jj maybank moodboard#outer banks edit#outer banks fandom#john b routledge#the pogues#p4l#outer banks#obx#rudy pankow#pope heyward#kiara carrera#my first edit#please reblog#fanfiction blog#outer banks blog#Rafe Cameron#Rafe Cameron edit#drew starkey#wholesome edit#jj maybank headcanon#music headcanons#capcut#looking for mutuals#looking for moots#looking for friends#obx edit
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Freedom - John Shelby
Chapter Twenty One
John Shelby X FemaleOCš„
Word count: 4.1k
Summary: An extremely traumatised woman finds herself tangled up in the lives of the Shelby's again and through John's love is able to find some peace. Though that peace can never last long.
Trigger warning for graphic depictions of abuse, sexual assault, self harm, ptsd/ trauma, blood, general violence, mentions of drugs and alcohol, time period typical misogyny
Warning this chapter is extremely graphic



Masterlist
Chapter Twenty | Chapter Twenty Two
All interactions are extremely appreciated!
Chapter Twenty One
The next day, in the lukewarm evening air, Alice finally heard the sound of Arthur's engine outside. She, John and Mindy sat up straight from their positions in the kitchen, mid conversation after having just enjoyed dinner, and the lighthearted energy instantly shifted to one of unrest. Whilst Alice was relieved, starting to feel impatient, and Mindy was excited after having been invited to the fun, John was irritated.
Irritated that his wife had made a plan with his brother without even considering how he might feel. Irritated that, although he trusted them both implicitly, she would be physically leaning on his brother for support, reluctantly reaching for his arm and eventually pressing her skin to his when movement got too hard on her damaged body. Irritated that she refused to wait until she was healed to put herself through strain again. Irritated that her dark traits insisted she had to keep the man alive to torture for a while, and that just painfully killing him wasn't enough. And most of all irritated that that meant John was officially uninvited unless he "promised not to kill him" which he simply couldn't do.
The only thing that softened his discomforted energy was seeing the look of clarity in Alice's eyes - her certainty in her revenge. "Maybe it will help her. Maybe I wasn't wrong." He thought to himself, dazing dreamily into his wife's face until she turned around, her neck craning to look at the door as a bang erupted from it.
"I'll get it." Mindy smiled, merrily skipping down the hall whilst Alice slowly got up from her seat.
John quickly rushed to her side, holding out his hand for support and being fairly surprised when Alice took it with no hesitancy.
"I love you. I promise I'll be fine." She said quietly, looking up at him with a weak smile, unable to stop the guilt she felt for worrying her husband.
"I know you will. I love you too." He weakly smiled back before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead and whispering "My beautiful girl."
His words made her feel jittery, and even in the car she felt an unfamiliar prickling under her skin. Too rage filled to properly enjoy romance yet too in love to fully indulge in her rage. John's blue eyes were a cooling pond for her to swim in, but only deep enough to go up to her knees.
"So what's the plan then ladies?" Arthur called from the front seat, one arm leant out the window to hold a cigarette that he passed to and from his lips.
"I'm going to cut off his cock." Alice answered first nonchalantly, gaze fixed out her window.
"And I'm gonna break his bones!" Mindy added with a satisfied smirk, the bloodlust in her eyes juxtaposed heavily by her girlish voice.
Arthur looked uncertain for a second before quickly clearing his throat and speaking. "Fair enough. Can't say I blame ya. This a one night thing or are we talking prolonged torture?"
"Prolonged." Alice answered.
"And I suppose you'll be wanting these lifts until you kill him ain't ya?"
"If you wouldn't mind that would be greatly appreciated." She shot him a cheeky grin, earning a playful scoff in return though the lack of verbal rejection was all she needed to know that Arthur would be there.
A bump in the road jolted the car and made Alice hiss, her ribs and right foot experiencing a sharp pain that instantly brought her mind to the morphine in her pocket.
"Fuck, that hurt." She mumbled to herself as she carefully poured a cap and swallowed it, running her finger around the rim for any residue and holding it up to Mindy. The blonde sucked the thick liquid from her finger without hesitation and then giggled after - something Arthur awkwardly watched in the rear view mirror before forcing his eyes back onto the road.
When they finally arrived at the yard, Charlie was quick to greet everyone and lead them to the dilapidated shed where they'd been keeping Jones. Much different to Mindy's tobacco shack, this one used to be part of a small barn teaming with livestock and grains. Now through the Industrial Revolution, a war, and years of neglect it existed mostly as a temporary holding cell for the Blinders or a convenient place for the occasional secret drop off.
The door resembled driftwood, dark and battered with sections withering from rot, and there were a number of thick planks positioned vertically in place to keep it shut - the lock obviously no longer working. Arthur lifted the planks with some hesitancy, looking nervously to the two women before pushing open the door and letting them step in first.
Alice didn't know exactly what to expect, and although she wasn't logically surprised by what she saw, her stomach still jolted with shock upon recognising the crouched figure in the centre of the floor. He didn't look half as big now from this new angle.
His arms were twisted backwards around a brown support beam, tied at the wrists, causing him to slouch forward uncomfortably as his legs were tied together at the ankle. Some blood stained his clothing and skin, and his shirt was soaked through with sweat, going a translucent yellow and reeking horrifically.
When his face twitched upwards, fearfully checking to see who was there, she could see the red, oozing wound she'd given him, rust coloured bits of crust starting to form along the edge of the teeth shaped ridges, and the panic in his eyes, clearer than the infected mark. Both of those things made an uncontrollable grin form on Alice's lips, her demeanour changing back to the excitement she'd felt before - jittering with anticipation.
Then she noticed the dog bowl in the corner, empty apart from a few droplets, and laughter suddenly ripped through her body, hurting as it exited but being entirely worth it for the ecstasy it brought. Mindy joined in too, giggling at the man who'd also done awful things to her and revelling in the power they had over him.
"What are you gonna do to me? Just get it over with." Jones barked, though his anger was unable to hide his fear.
The girls continued to laugh.
"You fucking bitches. I should've killed you." Jones shouted, pulling against his constraints to no avail. "My men are gonna fucking kill you."
"Your men are all dead now. My husband saw to that." Alice's laughter died down though her voice still bubbled with amusement. "So yeah, you probably should've killed me. You fucking pig."
"Whore." Jones spat, the phlegm landing just a few inches short of Alice's shoes.
"Watch your mouth. Dog!" Mindy suddenly shouted, the volume and ferocity of her cinnamon coated voice taking everyone aback. It even made Jones flinch, which of course just widened the grins on the girl's faces.
"Should we gag him or do we want to hear him scream?" Mindy's voice was back to it's usual volume as she turned to face Alice again.
"Let's see how loud he can get first."
"Good idea."
With unexpected speed, Alice moved from the beam she'd been leaning on and crouched to his side, an intimidating knife sat in her good hand, it's blade reflecting noticeably in the candlelight. She switched hands for a second to grab her ring from his soaked through pocket before resuming her predatory stance. The stink of all his bodily excretions instantly intensified with the closing distance but Alice hardly noticed, focused on her prey's body language rather than its smell. Mindy was quick to join her on his other side, her milky hands adorned by the silver and red of a stained hammer, and Arthur was in close pursuit - holding down Jones feet from the small distance of his legs.
Bent like a cat, Alice first swiped her blade curiously across his thigh, once again surprised by how it's sharp edge easily glided through the skin and drew blood instantaneously. It went deeper than she'd expected too; unable to feel the pressure of the blade like she could into her own skin, and a fresh wave of red started to stain all it touched. Alice stared at the liquid, mesmerised and unmoving. The fresh gash stared back at her, a tiny mouth that whispered for more. Jones' shout hardly penetrated her ears, a trance of blood lust suddenly overtaking her entire body - possessed by the cat.
She moved her hand mechanically to make another slice, slower this time, carefully watching each fibre tear and start to leak, and once again a smile crossed her face as she felt power surge through her veins.
"Let's start a fire. We don't need him bleeding out on us. I've got some grand ideas." She looked up at Mindy, who also had the same expression of elation mixed with childlike wonder on her face.
"I'll start the fire. There's plenty of branding irons in here." Arthur spoke for the first time since stepping into the barn. He stood up slowly, letting go of Jones' legs with hesitation though he knew the man couldn't do anything. He'd never seen two women more blood thirsty.
Jones' instantly started to kick, flailing his legs uselessly, his unfit body barely lifting them off the ground.
"You fucking bitches! Fuck you!" He yelled, to which Mindy slammed her hammer into his gut, badly winding him.
They giggled at the noise he made.
"You're the bitch. With your man tits and tiny cock." Mindy retorted, sticking out her tongue.
"Which I think I'm going to cut off and then make you eat." Alice added.
"Bullshit." He wheezed. "You can do what you want to me but you'll still always be my wife. Don't fucking forget that."
Mindy slammed the hammer into his gut again, forcing another spout of air to shoot from his lips as he spluttered in breathless pain. His words only halted Alice for a second before she regained her previous composure, thinning her eyes and gritting her teeth. She moved her knife down to his leg again, hooking it into one of the cuts she'd made and starting to slowly slice at the skin as if peeling a vegetable. A struggled cry started to break through Jones' uncomfortable breaths.
"Imagine if I cut you, for every single time you hurt me, and Mindy." The brunette spoke lowly, concentrated on her task despite his thrashing legs. "We'd be here all day, and all night, and all day, and all night again. Wouldn't we?"
The skin removal procedure she'd embarked upon was becoming a flesh removal procedure as the knife unevenly slipped past the thin boundary of external protection and into the thick pinkness below. The silver blade didn't reemerge back into the room until it had slid a solid five inches down his thigh, removing a patch about three inches wide.
"Good thing we've booked off the next couple days, isn't it?"
Both the women giggled again, turning to Arthur as he returned to his previous position holding down the man's legs.
"The irons will be ready in about ten minutes. I'm gonna go grab a bottle off Charlie, I'll be five."
Before he could take off Alice quickly spoke, smiling gratefully at her brother-in-law.
"Don't suppose you could grab me and Mindy one too? John'll chuck you the bob for it."
"I don't need none of John's dough. The party's on me tonight, ladies." He grinned and then bent down to be eye level with Jones. "You are absolutely fucked, pal."
"Fuck you-"
Mindy once again winded him with the hammer, this time landing on his ribs and gasping as the impact made a dry, cracking sound.
"Oops." She joked, earning a hearty chuckle from Arthur. "Bad aim."
Amused, he shook his head with a grin, struggling to fully process the two polar opposite personalities from the girl in front of him but nonetheless enjoying the show.
"Five minutes." He repeated with a wink and left.
"Is he always this nice?" Mindy asked Alice, earning a short chuckle from the girl.
"Yeah, mostly. To ladies anyway. Not so much to any men."
"Is he seeing anyone?"
Alice raised an eyebrow with a smile before answering, deciding she'd tease Mindy about her crush at a later time.
"Not that I'm aware of.. And besides, you've literally just escaped the confines of men. Do you really want to be tied down so soon?"
Mindy scoffed at this, her childish tone somehow fraught with a level of maturity that she seemed incapable of.
"Who says anything about being tied down? I just think he's good looking is all."
When he returned shortly after, they were all quick to start drinking and that almost instantly led to smoking which led to ashing and putting out hot ends onto Jones' open wounds whilst berating him for any sound he made. The irons were soon glowing orange like giant fag ends meaning the real fun was to start.
A pattern then began for the next hour. The girls would take turns to either cut or brand the man, working gradually down his legs until they cut off his toes, and then starting again at his head. Alice cut off his left ear with an entertained grin whilst Jones moaned in pain - the sound muffled slightly by his gritted teeth. He was no longer able to keep his mouth shut when she pressed the burning iron to the fresh wound though - the sound of his own fleshing melting being all he could hear.
"He's a bit loud isn't he." Alice scoffed to Mindy before getting closer to where his ear used to be and shouting "Can you hear me, cunt?"
They both giggled at that, especially at Jones' jumping reaction.
"I recon we should take a shot every time he screams." Mindy suggested with a slur.
"He hasn't stopped screaming." Alice replied.
"Exactly."
They giggled again, then Alice scowled at the noise coming from Jones' - his increasing volume starting to get on her nerves.
"We should gag him for now. I'm gonna save the cock going down his throat thing I recon."
"You going to make cute date out of it, yeah?" Mindy smiled playfully, earning a chuckle from Arthur.
Alice rolled her eyes with a blush. "Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know."
"Well I think you should. John is obviously desperate to get his hands on this cunt - You hear that cunt? She's going to shove your knob down your throat-" Mindy suddenly turned and shouted at Jones before continuing in her girlish tone "- Why not let him? He loves you. What are you worried about?"
Alice looked to Arthur with a raised eyebrow before answering, his playful smile instantly putting her at ease.
"I ain't gonna say nothing. None of my business." He huffed, sipping from his drink.
She cleared her throat and then answered "I just don't want anyone to take this away from me. It's mine. I earned it. As did you" looking to Mindy again. "I don't know. Maybe it's an ego thing. I'm just kind of sick of men.. taking everything."
A soberness suddenly seemed to settle in her eyes, invisible steam coming from her ears again as she stared down the bleeding man on the floor. She'd unintentionally reminded herself of the rage that the alcohol had soothed.
Her tone regained it's previous venom, hissing with wide eyes "Fuck saving the dick thing. Let's do it now. If we use the iron to close the wound will he stay alive?"
The sudden mood change had Arthur taken aback for a moment, though upon catching Alice's awaiting stare he quickly shook his head and answered "If you do it right he'll last."
"Okay. You can tell me how to do it right then." She nodded.
"Sweetie, I ain't no medic."
"But you've got a dick. That's good enough."
Before anyone had time to argue - as if they would anyway- Alice was bent down to his level again, jaggedly cutting the material of Jones' trousers away whilst ignoring his cries for mercy.
"Please. I'll do anything. I'll be your slave-"
"So that's what it takes to make you sweat? Your tiny, little cock? Pathetic." Alice scoffed before spitting into his face.
"Do you remember how you would cut off my clothes like this? I'm sure you do. You loved every second of it." She continued, purposely swiping the blade into his skin as she ripped at the cloth. "In front of everyone. Like the narcissistic cunt you are. I'm gonna make you regret that."
As soon as Alice saw his member; the root of so much of her horrific trauma, the red mist that had been fogging up suddenly became a storm - blocking her vision entirely as she angrily ran her knife through it. By time she could see again, Mindy had haphazardly cauterised the wound with the help of Arthur, and Jones' sobs were being muffled in his mouth by his own cock.
Justice.
The word ran through her head like a ecstatic hooligan as she stared at her masterpiece. Black, viscous layers of blood were drying onto everyone's clothes, sticking to the fabric like Velcro, and so much had dried on Jones skin that his bruised midsection almost looked like the night sky - pale blubber peeking through in starry patches. Arthur had an unfamiliar look of discomfort on his face.
"Too much for you, tough man?" Mindy teased.
He had no response, choosing to stay silent and continue to watch Alice - simultaneously concerned and entranced. She ripped the cock from his mouth and flung it across the room, both her and Mindy laughing as Jones screamed. Then Alice's laugh sharply cut off and her tone became serious.
"Look at me." The brunette spoke to the lump on the floor, her back stiff and still, but Jones' head remained hung - his body shaking.
"I said fucking look at me." She shouted, lifting the hot iron in her hand so that it was closer to him.
His head quickly shot up.
"Does it hurt?" She demanded.
Once again he attempted disobedience, staring at her silently, but once the iron drew near his fresh wound he was quick to choke out "Yes."
"Tell me how much."
"Lots."
"That's not good enough!" A snarl erupted from her mouth and she pressed the iron into his inner thigh, unflinching at his cries. "Talk in full sentences. Just like you made me."
"I- It hurts a lot. E-Everywhere hurts. You've won." He could hardly speak, writhing in pain and struggling to catch his breath. "Kill me. P-Please."
Alice let out a loud cackle at that, putting down the iron so that she could take another swig from her drink before continuing.
"You don't get that luxury. Surely you knew that already." She scoffed before her voice got louder and angrier. "After everything you did to me? You tortured me every fucking day for over five years. You let your friends torture me. From the day we met! Why? I never did anything to you. You didn't even know me. You still don't know me! I don't get what has to happen to a man to make them as evil and fucked up and twisted as you!"
Then a sudden shout erupted from her lungs, laced with even more venom than any sound she'd made all night.
"You destroyed me! And for what? Your own fun?Ā I don't even want to hear the answer. You're a fucking monster and I am going to make you suffer for it! Fuck you!"
With that she pressed the iron against his skin one more time, growling in rage as he howled in pain, before throwing it onto the ground and storming out of the room with a bad limp, unable to look at Arthur or Mindy as tears started to uncontrollably roll down her face. Mindy instantly followed her out, whilst Arthur stayed inside, sat at the same seat he had been all night, watching Jones with a glare.
Under the black night sky, Alice was letting out gasping sobs, her mind racing as she stared at the ground. Images of all the suffering she endured under Jones' captivity, leading into images of the all trauma she'd endured even before meeting Jones and finally - and most painfully - images of her deceased family, and how they waited for her to come home. How her brother's had brutally died at war, and her mother died in pain, thinking she had no children left.
She collapsed painfully onto her knees, sobbing agonisingly hard into her bloody hands. Her exterior felt numb despite her many injuries, but her insides felt heavy - laced with an allergenic poison that had her throat closing and her head spinning.
"Why?" She choked in between harsh breaths. "Why? Why? Why?"
Mindy's sudden touch didn't even make her jump, in fact she hardly felt the pixie sized girl's arms at all as they gently hugged her, nor could she hear her comforting wind chime voice over the sound of her own sobs.
"How many years did I lose to this man? How much did I lose? And all I can do is take his cock." Her internal dialogue seethed. "I'm always going to be broken. No matter what I do to him. My family will always be dead."
Her body violently shook as cries rippled through her, her fingernails automatically going to pick at an open cut on her wrist that was now just a scar.Ā The betrayal of the soft skin had her scrambling for another lifeline, fingers unable to find any pickable wounds along her arm. Instead, they had to just roughly scratch at the healed marks, like a junkie desperate for a hit.
Mindy stood silently for a moment before attempting to comfort the girl again, able to imagine what she was thinking and struggling to find the words to help.
"Things can only get better from here. Remember what you said." She spoke quietly, placing a hand on Alice's quivering shoulder.
The sobs continued, seemingly unaffected by Mindy's presence.
"Do you want me to leave you for a moment?" She spoke quietly again, still earning no response until her hand retracted and Alice choked out "I need John."
"Alright. I'll tell Arthur and we can go now." Mindy answered softly, slowly removing her hand from Alice's shoulder before slipping back inside.
In minutes, the heavy lock was back in place on the thick barn door and the trio were in the car, no words being spoke as Alice stifled sobs. Arthur didn't dare ask any questions, already knowing enough to picture many justifiable reasons for the tears and not wanting to know any more.
When they pulled up in front of the house, John was at the door immediately despite the late hour, waiting with a hopeful expression on his face. That expression dropped as soon as Alice bolted from the car, rushing with a limp to wrap her arms tightly around his waist and bury her wet face in his chest. He hardly even processed the amount of blood her and Mindy were covered in, instantly entrenched by Alice's tears.
"What's wrong, darling?" He whispered, shooting Arthur an arched brow. His brother just shrugged, still sat in the car, before whispering "goodnight" to Mindy and driving off.
Alice didn't respond to John, shaking her head and gripping his shirt as the wails she'd been holding in for the short drive were able to come out. The sound pierced John's chest and put a lump in his stomach, but he let her continue undisturbed for a minute, hoping it would die down. When it didn't, he tried again.
"Come on, love. Let's get you washed and go to bed. That sound like a plan?" He quietly forced a cheery tone.
Alice pulled away from his body slowly and nodded, taking John's hand and following him into the house; cries punctuating every step. Mindy had already dragged the metal tub from under the stairs and placed it in the kitchen where she was boiling a large pot of water, the bath already quarter filled. John shot her a thankful look, his arm around the shaking waist of his wife.
"I'll wash after you're done in there. Don't worry about rushing, I'm gonna go sit in the garden." Mindy smiled at Alice, for once looking tall as she spoke to the crumpled girl.
"Thanks Mindy." Alice replied in a whisper, looking to the tub with an absent expression, much like a soldier returned from war.
guys I hope u all enjoyed this chapter. It took me ages to write and it never got much love when I originally uploaded it and I doubt it will now but oh well. this is my fave out of all my writings and I wish it would get as much as attention as my outer banks stuff. I just think itās so much better. Maybe Iām delusional idk, but I hope yāall love it anyway. Thanks for any interaction and stay safe <3
#dark imagine#dark fanfiction#fanfiction blog#angst fic#john shelby#abuse tw#peaky blinder fanfic#peaky blinder imagine#angst#arthur shelby#explict#dark writing#tw assault#tw violence#tw blood#peaky blinder oc#peaky blinder headcanon#peaky blinders fandom#peaky blinder fanfiction#peaky blinders#Tommy Shelby#hurt/comfort#joe cole x oc#joe cole fanfic#joe cole fanfiction#looking for moots#fanfiction#fanfiction community#vent fic#dark fic
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summary ā you and Rafe take your 1-year-old baby girl to play with snow for the first time
warnings ā fluff, rafe getting sappy when she says 'dada' for the first time
a/n ā im having major baby fever i WILL be writing 82348 baby fics, also i didnāt edit this sorry if thereās any mistakes :/
It was a day Iād been looking forward to for months. Not just because it was the first real snow of the season, a soft, silent blanket covering the lawn, but because it was her first snow. Our little girl, barely a year old, was about to experience the magic of it for the very first time.
āYou ready, little one?ā I whispered, bundling her up in a tiny, puffy snowsuit that made her look like an adorable marshmallow. Rafe was already by the door, tugging on his own gloves, a wide, excited grin on his face. Heād been just as eager as me, maybe even more so.
āSheās going to love it,ā he said, his voice a little softer than usual. He had this way of getting ridiculously sappy around her, and it was one of my favorite things about him.
We stepped outside, and a collective gasp escaped us. The world was transformed. The trees were frosted, the grass a pristine white, and fat snowflakes drifted gently from the sky. Our daughter, held securely in Rafeās arms, blinked owlishly at the falling flakes, her eyes wide with wonder.
We found a clear patch of snow in the backyard, far enough from the house that she could really explore. Rafe carefully lowered her to the ground, and for a moment, she just sat there, looking at the white expanse around her. Then, tentatively, she reached out a mittened hand and patted the snow. Her eyes lit up.
āSnow!ā I cooed, making a small snowball for her to look at.
She giggled, a pure, joyous sound that echoed in the quiet, snowy air. Rafe, who had been kneeling beside her, beamed. He started making a tiny snow angel, his movements careful and deliberate, and she watched him, utterly captivated.
āDada!ā
The word was soft, barely a whisper, but it cut through the crisp air like a bell. Rafe froze, his head snapping up. His eyes, usually so sharp and intense, were suddenly wide and glistening. He looked at me, then back at our daughter, a slow smile spreading across his face.
āDid you hear that?ā he choked out, his voice thick with emotion.
I nodded, my own eyes welling up. It was the first time sheād ever said it, and of course, it was for him. He was her whole world, and way she looked at him, with such adoration, melted my heart every single time.
āDada!ā she said again, a little louder this time, reaching out her hands towards him.
Rafe didnāt hesitate. He pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face in her snowsuit, murmuring indistinguishable words into her hair. He was completely gone, a puddle of sappy, loving dad.
I just watched them, a warmth spreading through me that had nothing to do with the chilly air.
āshe couldnāt have said my name firstā i pouted
š·ļø, @spencerreid66 @vxncevis @dsfault @bebebambs @starrii-sturns
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Kind of want to write an OBX fic following a self-insert OC but would want to make it X JJ, X Rafe and X Kiara š
š
also would include a lot of the themes that Iāve already written about in my imagines so Iām not sure⦠and it would be a BIG writing project. Maybe I would just make the chapters shorter and less detailed but I donāt know if that suits my writing style. Idk. Thinking about it.
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Might make playlists for my two fave boys JJ and Rafe if anyone is interested. This is defo a JJ song.
#JJ maybank#jj maybank headcanon#Rafe Cameron#Rafe Cameron headcanon#music headcanons#music recommendation#character playlists#Spotify
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If you like someoneās writing let them know. You might think that your comment seems silly or trivial but I know that when I wake up and see a comment on one of my fics it makes the start to my day feel a little better. Love is always good to spread, no matter how small it is! <3
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can i request a rafe x reader who is being sexually abused by a family member?
i have really bad trauma from my father and stories like this are always so comforting to me
no pressure i understand itās a triggering topic!
I also have trauma from a family member and find these kind of stories comforting, hence the entire theme of my account. Iāve been considering writing one of these for a little while but wasnāt sure if it would be too dark so Iām glad to have gotten this request. Iām going to start writing this one asap and put a lot of time and care into it so I donāt know when exactly it will be uploaded but it will eventually. My DMs are always open if you need comfort or even if you just want to chat about random things. I find great comfort in being able to just converse with people whoāve felt the same pain as I have. Stay safe and thanks for this request <3
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ninety five part 3 when
Iām honestly not sure. Iām not 100% sure of where to go with it. Iāve not been writing as much as I used to because Iāve been quite depressed recently, when I upload chapters for my fics (Ache, Memory Games and Freedom) theyāve been written a loongg time ago and Iāve just edited them and re uploaded them. Sorry to everyone desperate for part 3, when I get somewhere with it Iāll make an update post. <3
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Freedom - John Shelby
Chapter Twenty
John Shelby X FemaleOCš„
Word count: 4.2k
Summary: An extremely traumatised woman finds herself tangled up in the lives of the Shelby's again and through John's love is able to find some peace. Though that peace can never last long.
Trigger warning for graphic depictions of abuse, sexual assault, self harm, ptsd/ trauma, blood, general violence, mentions of drugs and alcohol, time period typical misogyny



Masterlist
Nineteen | Twenty One
All interactions are extremely appreciated!
So Iād actually finally casted my main OCs by this point but forgot to put it in the beginning so Iām going to put it here now lol. As Alice we have Emmy Rossum and as Mindy we have Kirsten Dunst. Obviously you can continue to imagine them how you want, but Kirsten is literally spot on to how Iāve imagined Mindy. Enjoy!


Chapter Twenty
Of the sheds in Charlie's yard, the maroon red one usually used to house tobacco was the nicest, it's roof waterproof and walls thick enough to not howl with the wind. This was where Mindy was being 'kept', comfortably sleeping in a pile of cushions and blankets provided by Arthur, with a pitcher of water beside her. When Alice unlocked the wooden door, the pale blonde instantly jumped awake at the sound, waiting nervously for whoever to reveal themselves. She had been treated very kindly by her "captors" so far, but that still didn't mean she wasn't scared.
Her nerves disappeared as soon as she locked eyes with the brunette, standing up and rushing into her open arms. It was the only friendly face she'd known for years and although she'd been more than glad to help her escape, her absence was felt heavily. Tears sprung from both of the girls eyes as they embraced.
"I'm so glad you're here." Alice sniffled, holding her tightly. Mindy was even smaller than she remembered.
"I'm so glad I'm here too." She whispered back, her voice also sweeter than Alice remembered.
"I- We tried to find Jones. I didn't forget about you-" She started to stutter but Mindy cut her off softly.
"It's okay. I believe you."
Slowly, Alice pulled away from the hug with a heavy breath and took her hands instead, whispering "It wasn't too bad after I left, was it?"
The look in her sparkling blue eyes was all that was needed to answer that question.
"You should've come with me."
"I know." Mindy sighed. "I didn't really know if you were going to make it to be honest. Half expected them to wake up and beat us both but they slept all through the night."
"Bunch of cunts."
"Mostly dead now anyway." Mindy scoffed, causing both the girls to snicker slightly, smiles finally pulling at the corners of their lips as they knew that things could only get better for them from there on out.
And Alice supposed she had John to thank for that. As she became re aware of her husbands presence in the room, she stepped backwards and turned to him, feeling the adoration she'd usually feel though she tried hard to squash it.
"This is my husband John by the way. John this is Mindy."
Mindy held her hand out to shake but was surprised when John hugged her. Alice was surprised too though it made sense once John spoke and she once again felt an annoying flash of adoration for the man.
"It's lovely to meet you. I owe you everything for what you did for Alice. We'll get you a nice room and a good meal sorted A-S-A-P." John promised, Mindy's eyes growing wider with every word.
"Ar-Are you sure?"
"Of course. It's the least I can do." He replied and Alice quickly added "We'll set up a bed in the living room."
"Thank you so much." Mindy gasped quietly, her voice sounding as if she'd been holding her breath.
"It's the least we can do." John repeated with a smile.
Soon, the trio found themselves back at John and Alice's home, the two girls stood in the kitchen whilst John moved around furniture in the living room.
"You've got a good one there." Mindy said quietly to Alice with a grin as the sound of the sofa being dragged vibrated through the walls. "And so handsome too."
Alice's focus shifted from the pan in her hands to the girl beside her, uncontrollably grinning back at her as she thought of her husband. It had been less than a year since she'd last seen Mindy, yet so much had changed thanks to him. She hoped that her friend would also find such a loving man to help her on the road to recovery. She seemed fine now but once the shock wore off Alice knew what to expect, she was still dealing with it herself after all.
"I'm lucky he puts up with me." The taller girl smiled with a dreamy sigh.
"You really are glowing. Even with the bruises. Can't wait to see you without them - that'll be new."
"Thank you. And you too. I'll run you a bath after we've had breakfast and when you're up for it we can go into town. I'll buy you some clothes."
"Are you sure? I'll have to pay you back-"
"You really don't. Trust me." Alice cut her off with a slight chuckle, thinking of what the girl's reaction would be when she realised how influential the Shelby's were.
"Thank you. It means a lot. Your cooking smells so good too, even better than it did at camp."
"And now we can actually eat it too."
The two girls laughed at that though only slightly, a sudden bitterness lacing the air.
"Do you remember when you bit Jones' dick and he ran out the van screaming and tripped over his trousers?" Mindy said almost numbly.
"How could I forget? That's why he started doping me. Dragged me naked out the van afterwards and beat me in front of everyone. Was fucking worth it."
"Well I finally decided to fight back and I bit Ronnie's not that long ago... Obviously I paid for it, but I agree. Definitely worth it."
That brought a small smile to Alice's lips, her eyes focused on the almost ready eggs. If there was one person she hated almost as much as Jones, it was Ronnie.
"Did they get him?" She questioned, not needing to explain herself further as Mindy instantly understood.
"They got everyone, I saw all their bodies." She replied enthusiastically before adding "Everyone except Jones."
"I wish I had gotten to see that." Alice chose to ignore that last part, trying to keep up a strong appearance for her friend. And it was true, she did wish she'd seen it all. The sound of the men begging for their lives was something she'd spent hours imagining.
"I didn't see most of the action. I was still locked in your old room. Had no idea anything was even happening until there was all this noise and then I was being questioned by some lad in a flat cap."
"Did they kill the women too?" Alice enquired, thinking back to how she'd also imagined their karma plenty of times.
"No. They set them all free. Even Beth the bloody bitch. She was screaming the whole time." Mindy scoffed, her voice sounding innocent even with the words it spoke.
"When is she not screaming? They should've shot the cunt."
"I'm glad they didn't. They robbed her of anything she loved, any riches she might've had and then left her to fend for herself. It was pretty good to see. I can't imagine they'll last long."
"I guess you're right. Would've quite liked to have seen that too actually."
"Well you've got Jones tied up somewhere now haven't you? One of the men said. What are you gonna do with him?"
Mindy's question dragged Alice right back into the corner of her mind she was trying to avoid again. Blistering rage fuelled by untethered memories, a force she was fully willing to give in to less than an hour prior, now she wanted it to pitter out and let her behave rationally. Perhaps it was the sight of her old friend, battered and bruised but ever optimistic, that inspired her attempt at a better temperament. Or maybe the feeling of her husband's eyes on her as he re entered the room.
"I don't know." She answered blankly, scraping the eggs onto three plates, each already holding a piece of toast.
Not picking up on Alice's discomfort, Mindy continued in her sweet voice "Well I think he ought to drown. Like what he did to those puppies. Or raped. By some big scary fighter. Or maybe-"
"Let's talk about it another time. I'm too tired right now." Alice cut her off with a forced smile, one that John could see right through.
"Oh okay."
There was an awkward silence as the three sat down at the table, patiently waiting for the food to cool, though only momentarily as Mindy started to speak again.
"So John, what do you do for a living, because according to what I've heard you're some kind of gangster." She questioned, her eyes not leaving her plate.
Alice couldn't help but chuckle lightly, always having been amused by the girl's inappropriate honesty and relishing in the taken aback look on John's face. He couldn't exactly lie, she'd already seen it all.
"You could say that. Alice is a bar maid at the pub my brother owns. Have you done much work?" He quickly diverted, starting to tuck into his food.
"Not really. My family were quite well off. I spent one summer cleaning our stable as a punishment, and that was it until they died and I was found by Ronnie." She answered nonchalantly before following his lead in devouring her breakfast.
"She cleaned up so much. All the rooms, all the animals." Alice added. "I really slacked at that."
"You didn't just slack, you were the worst." Mindy giggled. "You were always high, or coming down, or injured, or sick. Half the time you weren't even there."
"You're telling me." The brunette snickered sarcastically, even managing to earn an amused glance from John. "I was fucking locked up and all four usually, speaking of, you want some morphine? I don't know about you but my head is killing." She remembered the little bottle she'd sneaked from the hospital hiding in patience for the right time.
Mindy's eyes lit up. "I would absolutely love some please."
When breakfast had finished, Alice showed Mindy to her temporary room, tucking the girl under the covers as she started to drift asleep, quickly affected by the drug. Her tolerance was not as high as Alice's - something that she was actually grateful for as she felt her body truly relax for the first time in a long while.
"Thank you for this." She mumbled, eyes closed.
"You don't need to thank me for anything. I owe it. Now sleep good. Me or John will be in the house if you need anything." Alice replied quietly before slinking out of the room, slipping the door shut and turning to the stairs, her husband awaiting patiently at the bottom for her.
His soft features were sharpened with unmistakable stress, eyes reddened and dark, and jaw clenched squarely. Even with the usual awe on his face as he looked at his wife, his internal anguish was visible. Alice didn't look all too well to him either, knowing her well enough to see through the relaxed facade. Though it was also clear that the morphine had actually eased her somewhat.
Silently, he scooped her up into his arms, ignoring her scowl as she let out no verbal disagreement. Even if she had he would've continued to carry her, concerned by the damage done to her body far more than she was. Like a precious gem, he gently placed her onto the bed before sitting beside her, unable to think of what words he could say. Alice leant her head onto his shoulder with a sigh.
"I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too." He replied. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry I wasn't there."
Alice just sighed again in response, leaning her head onto his shoulder. John picked up her hand gently, her fingers paling in size to his as he stroked the tight bandages.
"This will heal. We have Mindy and we have Jones now. Your brother saved the life of someone I owe mine to, I can finally get my revenge on Jones and for that.. I guess I'm kind of grateful to you and Tommy."
John could hardly believe his ears, his wife never having been known for her forgiving nature, and a quietly amused scoff passed his lips.
"You always manage to surprise me. I think it's got to be the morphine talking." He teased, actively trying to ignore the issue he had with the little brown bottle she'd apparently been hiding.
"Maybe. I could do with some more actually." She smiled and then turned to look at John's face, her glimmering eyes dulling slightly. "I think I'll have another spoonful and then go to Jones. I want my ring back."
John stared intensely at her, relishing in as much of her gaze as he could before she inevitably turned it away again - made uneasy by prolonged eye contact in even the best situations.
"Can you not just leave it a day? You shouldn't even be out of bed, you can't walk properly. I don't want you going there alone." He pouted.
"Well come with me then. I can always leave a note for Mindy-"
"No, Alice." John sighed, his tone once again fraught with stress. "If I see him right now I'm going to kill him on sight. I won't be able to control myself, that's not fair. It's your kill. You deserve it."
He softly caressed her face, never failing to feel an angry punch in his stomach at every temporary stain he touched.
"Just give it a day at least. I'm worried about your health."
"But I want my ring now. My finger feels weird." Alice mumbled, leaning lightly into his hand though it ached a bit.
"Probably because it's broken darling." John chuckled slightly. "I don't think you could even get the ring on if you tried right now... I'll get someone to go get it or I can just buy you a new one if you really want."
"No, John! Of course not!" Alice suddenly shot up straight. "I love that ring and I don't want any other one!"
"Well do you really need it now? Let the cunt wait. Pol says his wounds is sorted. We've got plenty of time."
She pondered for a moment, considering her options, a half smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she spoke her answer.
"Tell you what. Me and you do a cap of morphine each and I'll stay home for today."
John hesitated at this, tutting "Alice..." though she quickly defended herself.
"Come on. Like you and the lads don't partake. You lot bloody smoke it! What makes it so bad when a lady does it? Don't you wanna be all cosy and warm with me?"
John too considered his options for a moment before caving in with a smile, though he tried to hide it through his mature tone. It was hard to resist the sunny glow of opioids in the arms of his lover.
"Just this once. After this no more darling. It ain't any good for anyone. Gents and ladies."
"Sure." She scoffed, struggling to believe him. It was hard to imagine John turning down anything from his brothers. Before he could respond, faintly defensive from her sarcasm, she spoke again.
"Today we recover. Tomorrow we fucking do something."
As she said this, she stood up and headed for the bottle she'd placed on the side - it's existence no longer needing to remain hidden. Effortlessly, she unscrewed the lid, filled it with the chocolate tinted syrup and then lifted it to her lips, swallowing with no reaction despite the sickly flavour. John's didn't go down as smoothly, his eyes squinting and lips puckering.
"That's strong. I ain't even gonna be able to stay awake Alice. How the fuck are you so fine?"
"I don't know. Probably long term exposure and gradual desensitisation." She responded plainly.
The pair both laughed at this, the tension in the air feeling as if it had never existed and their marital bliss unscathed. They both easily slid into their usual positions on the bed - John on the right side with his arm wrapped around Alice's shoulders, one hand sometimes stroking her hair whilst her head nestled into his neck or laid upon his chest, silently counting his heartbeats.
"You are something else, you know that right?" John spoke quiet yet amusedly. "Like something completely brand new, all the time. Never looses it's sparkle or excitement. Always something unexpected."
Alice scoffed though her stomach jumped with butterflies.
"Has it hit you that quick?"
"Don't be a cunt. I mean it."
"Oh John Shelby, you are so lovely." Alice dreamily sighed, half sarcastically. "But really, how are you feeling?"
John sunk deeper into the bed, the weight of his arm increasing warmly onto Alice, before he answered.
"Right now? Relieved to be with you but also this like.. numb nothingness. It's nice, how about you?"
"Also numb. But also exhausted. My body hurts a bit. Especially my head."
"Well you've got five bloody stitches in the back if you've even cared to look!" John scoffed, earning a shocked gasp from Alice followed by a little giggle.
"Really?" She reached to touch them through her thick hair and gasped again.
John laughed. "You've been high as a bloody kite and on a fucking mission from the moment you woke up, haven't you?"
"Maybe." She smiled.
Ā "Well we've got to go back and get them out in a week. The nurses said you're probably gonna be concussed for a little while, and lost a fair bit of blood so you need rest. Your ribs are pretty much fucked again. Your hand is fucked and so is your ankle... Oh and you're down a tooth, I saw that, not the nurses. I'm not surprised you hurt." There was slight amusement to his tone, though it was quickly forgotten by his guilt. "And all those bruises on your pretty skin, my poor angel." As he said this, he placed a kiss on her head, inhaling the weak, feminine scent that seemingly naturally secreted through her hair before pulling away.
Alice didn't acknowledge his worrisome attitude, asking with a tired chuckle "Do they look that bad? They feel it."
"They look... painful. Don't know what we're gonna tell people. You're still beautiful though, don't you worry. They'll fade."
The couple embraced in a kiss again, this one more passionate and it's bliss only intensified by the morphine flowing through their systems. They felt even warmer and cosier than usual, though Alice couldn't help but wonder if it was the recent brush with darkness that was making her more appreciative, and not just the drugs.
"Maybe things really can only get better from here." She thought, but an hour passed and she couldn't sleep whilst John had been out cold. Her body hurt too much, as did her head, and finding a comfortable position was starting to feel impossible. John did not stir beside her despite her thrashing and with his skin tight against hers, he looked to be having the best sleep he'd had in a while. It was hard to move from his side, emotionally and physically, peeling herself from him ungracefully as she struggled against her stiffly wrapped bones, and even as she made it up, unaided movement while high was proving to be more difficult than she'd anticipated.
John's strong arms had subtly led her from point to point since leaving the hospital, something Alice only clocked now half limping to the chestnut cabinet. On top of it lay her brown bottle, a lighter and a packet of John's cigarettes - all three of which were soon nestled into the grey fibres of her cardigan pocket. It was when she reached the top of the stairs that her sudden dependence on her husband became even clearer to her - an instant and intense irritation. With a determined huff, the girl gripped onto the bannister and slowly lowered herself down the stairs, wincing at the pressure on her left leg with every other step. The drawn out creak of every snail paced step only served to irritate Alice further, and by the time she finally made it to the front door her brow was tightly furrowed, a cigarette placed at the ready on her lips.
It was only just past midday, the sun was shining faintly through lacklustre clouds and a group of young boys ran up and down the street in a merry game of tag. Their unwelcome noise became easily ignorable once Alice took her first inhale, relinquishing in the smoke as it's comforting, dirty taste filled her mouth and lungs and then exited in a second. She didn't smoke too often, hating the way it stained everything a pissy shade of yellow and buried it's scent into fabric, but whenever she did it was a certain relief. Perhaps she would've leant on it more if the smell didn't remind her of men, or if the sound of her mother's scolding didn't ring through her ears.
"All that scolding and I bet she was chugging them down herself back in the day." Alice thought amusedly, remembering Pol's words. "I wish I had gotten to smoke one with her. Just once."
The sound of the boys suddenly quietened, causing Alice to look up curiously. She was relieved to see it was just the familiar face of Arthur stepping down the street, roughing up the hair of one of the lads with a grin before continuing his pace to the home. Once his eyes caught Alice's, his face tightened, turning to one of shock and then upset as he neared her.
"Alice! Look at you!" He exclaimed, his gruff voice sounding tired despite his upbeat appearance. "What are you doing out of bed? You're half fuckin' purple!"
"Don't you start." Alice grumbled with an eye roll.
"Alright, alright. But bloody hell you don't 'on-earth look battered."
"Thanks." She answered sarcastically, taking another sharp drag from her cigarette as she looked up at the man with thinned eyes. "What on earth could he want?" She thought. "Surely not just to mock me."
"Well take it as a compliment. You're still bloody standing aren't ya?" Arthur scoffed, a proud smile pulling at his lips. "Tough one you are. Put up hell of a fight from the sounds of things. Wouldn't expect any less from you."
Through her thick lashes her eyes started to relax again, aided by her slowly developing smirk and slightly reddening cheeks - though it was almost impossible to see beneath the bruising. Before she could thank him, he spoke again, not wanting to make any more conversation out of the compliment he'd just paid his sister-in-law.
"Since when do you smoke then?"
"I don't. These are John's. He's out cold."
Alice pulled out the morphine bottle from her pocket for a brief moment, Arthur's eyes instantly lighting up with recognition before a label could even become visible.
"Figured we could all do with some." She explained with a huff, wincing as she shifted her weight from her good leg to her shoulder blades against the wall.
"Well what are you doing up then?"
"Dunno. Was gonna smoke this, take another cap and hope for sleep. What are you doing here?"
Arthur coughed awkwardly.
"Well I wanted to make sure you and John are alright first of all which I'm glad to see that you are. Second I came to let you know about Harry-"
"Well he bloody disappeared yesterday without saying a thing."
"He's in the hospital. Gypsy bastard cornered him and broke his legs. He'll be alright but.. he was part of the plan, he was meant to be there just in case anything did happen. So, Tommy's awful sorry for that."
Alice's annoyance disappeared as quickly as it had came at that, awkwardly tutting "Well I suppose I ought to be sorry for that too. I should probably get him a card or something, right?"
"Don't be ridiculous. He don't blame you and even if he did he wouldn't want a bloody card." Arthur spoke firmly.
"What would he want?"
"Tommy's head on a plate probably."
They both let out a chuckle at that before Alice sharply questionedĀ "And third?"
"I was actually - ahem - wondering how Mindy's doing?"
A small smirk started to pull at the corner of her lips but she quickly straightened it.
"She also took a cap. Passed out in the living room."
"Right. Well if any of yous need anything I'm here, alright?"
"I could do with a favour actually." Alice batted her eyelashes with a cheeky smile.
"The way you're saying that doesn't sound good." Arthur groaned.
"It's just a little one."
"John ain't gonna like this is he?"
"I just need you to take me to see Jones' tomorrow." She quickly spoke in a hopeful tone, surprised to see Arthur's expression unchanging.
He thought in silence for a moment before simply nodding and answering "Alright" deciding that not asking questions would make his life easier than asking any. The less he knew, the less his brother could be annoyed about.
Reminder that my requests are open! <3
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