uhhlifeig

[uhhlifeig]

[uhhlifeig]

ship so good both of them died

[uhhlifeig]

sex haver and drug doer

[uhhlifeig]

*Regulus cornering Peter at chess*

Peter: ugh, motherfucker

Sirius: actually it would be cousinfucker, given our family history

Regulus: we are not our incestuous family

Sirius: you fuck James, and he’s like my brother, omg you’re actually a brotherfucker! That’s why mum and dad like you more

James from the other side of the room: WE ARE NOT RELATED!

[uhhlifeig]

Sword - June 24 - word count: 188 - @wolfstarmicrofic

“Do you ever just- want to grab a sword and brutally decapitate someone?” Remus asked, staring up at the high ceiling of the common room.

Sirius snorted. “Do I ever, Moony. Why?”

“Harlowe’s being a bitch again,” Remus sighed, running a hand over his face. “About my furry little problem.”

Harlowe was their Defense teacher this year, and she despised Remus. She wouldn’t let him take absences for the moon, nor would she accept any late work- and she always found a way to sneak snide comments about “dangerous monsters” into conversation.

Sirius clicked his tongue. “Man, that sucks. What’d she say about your bunny this time?” He hid a small smile beneath a fake yawn.

“She said that he was ‘a liability’ and we should’ve put him down when we got him,” Remus muttered, frowning. 

“Ouch,” Sirius said, reaching over and smoothing out the creases between Remus’s eyebrows. “That sucks.”

“You’re telling me.”

Suddenly, Sirius brightened. “Let’s go prank her, Moonbeam! Permanently soggy socks, warm pillows, melted chocolate- the works.”

“Wait, you’re an actual genius,” Remus laughed, hauling himself out of the cushy armchair. “Let’s go, Padfoot.”

[uhhlifeig]

something bitchy and vaguely alive. probably.

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[uhhlifeig]

Knight - June 23 - word count: 162 - @wolfstarmicrofic

“Your Highness, we can’t do this,” Remus protested weakly. “Your parents-”

Sirius snorted. “My parents can die and go to hell.”

At Remus’s look, he shrugged. “What? I can say that.”

“Right. But, er, Your Majesty-”

“Just Sirius is fine,” he said flippantly, inspecting the reins of the horse closely. “Not your prince anymore, capisce? And no one is listening, Moons, I'm sure.”

“Sure. Padfoot, you know we can’t do this, right?”

“Of course we can,” Sirius replied insistently. “I mean, we have a means of escape, a knight and a brother on the inside, all that stuff.”

Remus groaned. “No, I mean your parents will find out.”

“That’s… kinda the goal here.”

“They’re going to hunt you down and interrogate everyone for your whereabouts and also maybe throw a fit.”

Sirius shuddered. “Now when you put it like that…”

“It’s alright. I have a better plan.”

“What is it?” Sirius asked curiously.

Remus grinned, sharp canines glinting in the moonlight. “Murder.”

[uhhlifeig]

Knight - June 23 - word count: 162 - @wolfstarmicrofic

“Your Highness, we can’t do this,” Remus protested weakly. “Your parents-”

Sirius snorted. “My parents can die and go to hell.”

At Remus’s look, he shrugged. “What? I can say that.”

“Right. But, er, Your Majesty-”

“Just Sirius is fine,” he said flippantly, inspecting the reins of the horse closely. “Not your prince anymore, capisce? And no one is listening, Moons, I'm sure.”

“Sure. Padfoot, you know we can’t do this, right?”

“Of course we can,” Sirius replied insistently. “I mean, we have a means of escape, a knight and a brother on the inside, all that stuff.”

Remus groaned. “No, I mean your parents will find out.”

“That’s… kinda the goal here.”

“They’re going to hunt you down and interrogate everyone for your whereabouts and also maybe throw a fit.”

Sirius shuddered. “Now when you put it like that…”

“It’s alright. I have a better plan.”

“What is it?” Sirius asked curiously.

Remus grinned, sharp canines glinting in the moonlight. “Murder.”

[uhhlifeig]

OMFG I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY I'M SORRY POOKIE

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY

aaaagh its okay i promise!! and ty :D

[uhhlifeig]

open tags :)

picrew chain time!! make yourself a cheeky little icon using this picrew, reblog & tag ur pals!! to start us off: @lightyaoigami @lightyakami @deelavis @dreamfilleddonuts @catboymettaton @vorareromantic @queer-omens-in-the-archives

[uhhlifeig]

Anyone ever just. go on AO3

and fear for the future of our generation holding positions of power?

like

the author of that 340,692-word fluffy donald trump x elon musk candyland-top gun-brangelina-dandadan-hazbin hotel crossover soulmate au with such tags as “incorrect use of dubai chocolates” and “i wrote this while high”?

they could be the senator of pennsylvania someday

A N D Y O U W O U L D N E V E R K N O W.

[uhhlifeig]

Enchantment - June 22 - word count: 191 - @wolfstarmicrofic

“Y’know, I read somewhere that throwing clothes at a werewolf would break the enchantment and turn them back into a human,” Sirius mused, fingers carding through his boyfriend’s hair.

“You wanna try?” Remus asked dryly. “Throw my shoes at me and see if I turn back?”

Sirius shrugged. “It’s a good idea.”

“...are you quite sure?”

“James would say that it is,” he sighed.

Remus snorted. “James would say that anything was a good idea if he thought it would make him look cooler to his crush.”

“Of course. That’s just how he is, and I won’t have him any other way.” Sirius turned his nose up in the air- or, well, as best as he could, considering Remus was nestled into his side.

“Careful. People might start thinking you and him are dating.”

Sirius grinned, his long canines just barely poking out from his mouth. “How naïve, Moonykins. People think all four of us are dating; a little Prongsfoot can’t hurt.”

“Prongsfoot?” Remus raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. That’s James and I’s ship name, Moonlight. Of course, ours is Wolfstar- sounds better than Prongsfoot, am I right?” He winked.

“Right.”

[uhhlifeig]

Enemy - June 21 - word count: 140 - @wolfstarmicrofic

“That was a terrible idea,” Sirius groaned, shielding his eyes from the bright fluorescent lighting with one hand, gesturing at the nearly-empty bottle of alcohol with the other.

“The drinking game or the show we picked?” Remus asked, voice muffled by a pillow he’d placed over his head.

“Both.”

He grunted in agreement. “Why?” he asked, curious to Sirius’s own reasoning.

“Because taking a shot every time there’s gay subtext in Voltron was bound to get us way too drunk to function. And also now we’re really, really hungover.”

Remus nodded, fighting back the mild nausea. He’d be fine in ten minutes, thanks to his lycanthropy. “Right. I think the fact that there was so much unresolved sexual tension between Lance and Keith-”

“Exactly. The whole enemies-to-lovers thing…”

“It’s more rivals-to-lovers, though, right?”

Sirius sighed loudly. “Whatever. My head hurts.”

[uhhlifeig]

god i binge read so much klance fanfic today

on that note Dear Reader by @heavilycaffeinatedsblog has given me so many brainworms that im considering actually giving them my soul and livelihood.

[uhhlifeig]

I'm sorry I missed your birthday, I was busy cuz you and my mom share a birthday and we were celebrating </3

its okay nonnie!! it doesnt matter ur good :)

[uhhlifeig]

and i told you first too 😔

@uhhlifeig HAPPY BIR-

wait. WAIT. DAMN IT!

[uhhlifeig]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMIIII OMGGGGG (i really hope im here on the right day + i hate time difference)

THANK YOU!!