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Me: writes two mildly mediocre therapeutic poems about our absolute hurricane of the past year

My husband: “These are phenomenal you should publish them!”

An actual direct quote. Love him.

Adore my optimistic Samwise who thinks that almost everything I do it a stroke of genius painted in gold leaf.

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Hunt is absolutely going to kill the seaside cozy vibes and I am going to soak up every word.

Please be prepared for much “emotional terminal” it will be very present in this story I’m certain.

You already know I wanted to be tagged in any and everything but most definitely this.

I am equally not a large consumer of AU Azris but I think you would be able to do something truly fantastic with modern Azris

Something at the seaside with a emotionally cliff side seated emotional dumpster fire of a conversation. I have zero plot to go with but I just know you would get the cozy cottage by the seaside surrounded by emotions more vast and deep than the ocean beyond the cliffs vibes.

Maybe the cottage is a safe house or maybe it’s an inheritance or maybe it’s where they settle after the emotional terminal of the story is complete.

Also if you hate it or it’s to gauge for what you want please feel free to burn this prompt.

i immediately have such an exciting idea for this!! keeping it a secret for the reveal. it's going to be set in the 20th century—that's what i'll say for now 😏 thank you my lovely @unanswered-stars !!!

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Is anyone going to care about my level of medicinal and herbal exploration in relation to injuries and healing in my writing probably not.

Do I still spend hours researching what different herbs and plants are used for, what form that are used in, do they have any contraindications, and how they taste and smell?

Yes. Yes I do.

I legitimately had 8 tabs and 3 research papers pulled up just to write one measly little paragraph. Honestly kinda loved it though.

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To even consider calling “My Old Friend, Fire” anything less than perfection is slander of the greatest magnitude

If you have not read this gorgeous story I beg of you to add it to your list and leave Hunt only the most supportive comments about our emotionally free babies having a good cry

When I posted my first one-shot ever, someone had complained that it was unrealistic to make Eris cry.

Honey, hate to break it to you—that boy is a crier.

It's the stoic ones that are crying the hardest when no one is looking. You aren't making it through five and a half centuries of an abusive father + dead siblings + UTM + everyone hating you without locking yourself in the bathroom at night every once in a while and sobbing your guts out.

And Eris Vanserra yearns for a life he can't have (yet!). That level of frustration brings out the tears.

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🎁🎀 You have been selected to play the exclusive get to know your moots game! Name the top 3 most memorable experiences that have happened this year, and paste this into 5 other blog's to spread the love! 🎁🎀

(Anddd an added question from me, what is your favourite fic of this year? From any fandom you're in!)

I basically laid out my most memorable hits of that past year in my entrance back to society post here, these are all sad and angsty so I would like to share 3 of the happiest experiences that have happened in the past year.

My husband. My hero. My Samwise. The most difficult year of our lives and our marriage yet somehow we made it through better than ever. I have never been more in love with him or felt as loved as I have this past year.

My eldest's face of pure elation when I told them we were pregnant with our fourth back in November and them immediately rubbing my belly and saying "Your belly is already getting bigger." I was only 4 weeks along... 4.5 year olds are absolutely savage and have absolutely 0 cares to give.

Honestly joining this online community and meeting so many wonderful people. I cannot tell you how appreciative I am that I found this space that has been such an encouragement to me and I have loved both sharing my writing and passion as well as getting to enjoy and experience others creativity and kindness.

My favourite fic from 2024 has to be A Court of Shadows and Ash by the lovely @futurehunt purely because this fic is what brought me here, to tumblr and ao3, and Hunt was the first person to encourage me to post my stories. I could not be more grateful for her and her writing, and on-top of that is ACoSaA simply a masterful story and I devoured every word.

The most personally impactful fic was something I stumbled across at the very end of the year and it's actually drarry which is not something that I had read much of previously. Lingering Effect of Miscommunication by kowaiyoukai was a story that felt like someone was living in my head and screaming those thoughts back in my face. I felt so seen and understood. If you are in the right headspace to do so I highly recommend giving this short fic, less than 5,000 words, a read even if you are not a drarry fan (I was not when I read this) it is well worth the time and pain.

“But I don’t want to cry at all! I just want everything to be okay! Can’t everything just be okay?!”

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Hope you’re doing well 💖

Thank you 🤍

I was in a rough spot for awhile but I am doing so much better now.

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It's the end of the year, and I have to say, you were one of my favorite people to come across this year! The things you create are so important to me, and all of your work and support have been such a joy! Thank you for everything, and I truly hope 2025 has nothing but amazing things in store for you! I look forward to seeing what else you share with us all!

Just diving into my asks box and this is so incredibly kind thank you. I cannot possibly express how much this means to me 🤍

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@azrisweek

Day 6… Safe for work.

I just… like it when they hold each other like the world is falling apart and it might be the last time they get this chance.

Divider by @olenvasynyt

Holla at ya boi if you want on or off the Azris tag train:

@talibunny30 @iftheshoef1tz @born-to-riot @fieldofdaisiies @aktrain @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @secret-third-thing @acourtofladydeath @pippsmcgee @youvereachedthenearest-lovergirl @baileybird71 @skyesayshi @yams-77 @buffy-vanserra @areyoudreaminof @unanswered-stars @futurehunt @ninthcircleofprythian @matrixsss @going-through-shit @c-starstuff-man0 @jules-writes-stories @the-darkestminds @krowiathemythologynerd @cauldronblssd @hieragalbatorixdottir @yourlazykitkat @hellolordling @climbthemountain2020 @lilah-asteria @shadowsandlint @acourtofbatboydreams @theeternalstruggle @christeareads @molcat07 @mistandmemories @neciebee @dusk-muse @chairofchaos @amalhe-kofee @brunetterebel010 @astro-h0e-4azris @g00seg1rl @queercontrarian @neverendingstay @beppyd07 @ethereal-lionheart @ejkreader

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Autumn's Shadow: Chapter 31

Azriel x Eris (Azriel POV)

Summary: A covert meeting between Azriel and Eris to exchange valuable intel leaves Azriel reeling—and questioning everything he has ever felt for the Heir of Autumn. Azriel finds himself inexorably drawn to Eris, unable to resist his captivating allure. With the threat of Koschei and Beron looming ever closer, can their forbidden love endure in the face of such danger?

a/n: Finally beat my writer's block after 2 months of suffering lol. Thank you to everyone who is still here!! And thank you to @pippsmcgee for your help with this chapter and all the rest. 🖤

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Read on AO3!

Full Chapter List

Tag List: @unanswered-stars @futurehunt @jules-writes-stories @christeareads @chunkypossum @talibunny30 @fieldofdaisiies @mistandmemories @neciebee @molcat07 @that-girl-reading @fourteentrout @iftheshoef1tz @pippsmcgee @g00seg1rl @buffy-vanserra @nus4y @aurorasleeps-27 @jolenes-library @astro-h0e-4azris @makinglongwordsslutty @wrraccountant @mudandmire @eatsbooks @ysmtttty @palomita-de-la-sangre @nightsandflamess @ejkreader

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Azris Week Day 3: Contact - The Beginning and End of Friendship

Actually posting for day 7 of @azrisweek free day because I’m super late posting so it is what it is.

The long awaited part 2 from my Azris Week Day 3 story from last year. Sorry it took me a literally year. I apologize in advance because I’m quite sure this is not what anyone was thinking when I said there would be a part 2.

Read here on ao3

No snippet because that would ruin the surprise.

Sing a little ditty if you want on or off the tag train

@chunkypossum @futurehunt @fieldofdaisiies @hieragalbatorixdottir @the-darkestminds @jules-writes-stories @chairofchaos @talibunny30 @aleksandra25cracow @shadowsandlint @honeysuckle-daydreams13

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The dare you dared with this.

The audacity is immeasurable.

“I love you… did you know?”

“No… you never …”

“I know.”

“Then why?”

“We were always going to end up here. It didn’t matter.”

“It always matters that the love was there.”

This is the censored version.

Im 99% sure the uncensored version of this art will literally kill - to death - at least 4 people that I know but if you wanna see…

Here on Ao3

"Chunky is it an au of sorts? He doesn't have wings."

...Of sorts. But let's just say that the full version didn't require wings. What it did require was that outline of them for placement.

I was using this painting as a reference;

The Ritual by Roberto Ferri, 2016

When I wondered what it would be like if it had been Eris and Azriel instead of Lucien and Jesminda.

"He had teased him, taunted him- seduced him so thoroughly that he hadn't wanted anything but him. He'd seen him not as a High Lord's eldest, but as a male. Had loved him without question, without hesitation. He had chosen him."

Holla at ya boi if you want on or off the Azris tag train : @talibunny30 @iftheshoef1tz @born-to-riot  @fieldofdaisiies @aktrain @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @secret-third-thing @acourtofladydeath @pippsmcgee @youvereachedthenearest-lovergirl @baileybird71 @skyesayshi  @yams-77 @buffy-vanserra @areyoudreaminof @unanswered-stars @futurehunt @ninthcircleofprythian @matrixsss @going-through-shit @c-starstuff-man0 @jules-writes-stories @the-darkestminds @krowiathemythologynerd @cauldronblssd @hieragalbatorixdottir @yourlazykitkat @hellolordling @climbthemountain2020  @lilah-asteria  @shadowsandlint @acourtofbatboydreams @theeternalstruggle @christeareads @molcat07 @mistandmemories @neciebee @dusk-muse @chairofchaos @amalhe-kofee @brunetterebel010 @astro-h0e-4azris @g00seg1rl @queercontrarian

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She lives!

Kind of…

Will this be oversharing? Absolutely, but I would like to consider it more as truth-telling. I am trying to be more honest and vulnerable and while I may not feel comfortable sharing this on my personal social media for every uncle, aunt, coworker, and high school friend to see, I can at least be honest with you in my faceless anonymity of this space.

The past few months have been hellish in every way imaginable, and I am in every way meaning that in the literal and not figurative sense.

My husband and I joke that if we were to write a book about the past year each chapter would have to be dedicated to its own terrible happenings.

To those of you still sticking around and wondering where Stars has been, here it is.

To Hell and Halfway Back Again

A brief unpublished memoir by Unanswered Stars

Chapter 1: The Claustrophobia - a random claustrophobic incident that led to a rapid decline in mental health over the span of six weeks.

Chapter 2: The Panic - panic attacks every day, multiple times a day, waking me from my sleep, unable to cook, drive, or function as a normal human without extreme interruption, and the constant fear of endangering myself or my children.

Chapter 3: The Hospital - My counselor, may the stars above bless her, sent me to the hospital for SI. What should have been a few-day stay quickly progressed into a month-long stay in our local inpatient psych unit, where they diagnosed me with everything under the sun and rapidly progressed me through a dizzying variety of medications.

Chapter 4: The Dying - Dying sounded nice, and so I did. Or at least I tried to. Twice. Got my meds changed, which wouldn't you know that one of the biggest side effects of SSRIs is that they can increase SI (who thought that was a brilliant idea).

Chapter 5: The Medieval Torture Therapy - Either do the ECT or be stuck in here for another while longer they said. I did the therapy. It worked. After 3 sessions over 5 days, I was finally released. 1 day later I started experiencing side effects, slurred and stuttered speech, dropping off mid-sentence followed by silence. Dissociated so hard I quite literally created another personality (very friendly and absolutely 0 filter personality). The hospital said yeah no more ECT for you don’t come back. These symptoms started out slowly and progressively got worse over the span of a week. It was actually the day after I published the second part of The Ending of Darkness that I completely lost my ability to text and type for almost a month and it took several weeks to get full functioning back.

Chapter 6: The Recovery - I spent many days simply staring at the wall, but slowly, with enough sunshine and support, I was getting back to it.

Chapter 7: The Curve Ball - At the beginning of November, during my weekly counseling session, I recovered the first of many repressed memories from my childhood of SA. Well, that was unexpected–no clue that was hanging about.

Chapter 8: The Loss - The same day I recovered my first memory of CSA I started miscarrying our fourth child. It was a day filled with a lot of tears and blame and many many ugly things.

Chapter 9: Christmas Cheer - November sucked no doubt, but in December I finally felt like we were catching ourselves and I was actually able to finally write my secret Santa gift (still incomplete I’m sorry). Started EMDR intensives, did almost 50hrs worth in two months, and worked through way too much crap.

Chapter 10: Healing Era - Finally feeling in a better place, better than I have felt in years mental health-wise. I truly feel as though I am finally knowing and understanding myself, and I do think that a big component of that is that I had such a significant chunk of memories that shaped and molded me into who I am that was missing for so long. Found out I was pregnant with our fifth child, to say we were overjoyed and excited would be a vast understatement. Continued therapy, healing, and growing, and actually got off medication entirely and have had zero change mental health-wise in the 4 months since.

Chapter 11: The Loss Continues - At the end of April I found out I had a silent miscarriage at nearly 16 weeks, and so we lost our fifth baby as well. I still carry that grief from the loss of our sweet babies with me.

Chapter 12: (hopefully the final chapter because my heart can’t handle much more) Code Blue - While in the hospital and after delivering our baby, I was up walking around and suddenly got dizzy. I only remember bits and pieces but my husband was in the room the whole time. They couldn’t rouse me. Couldn’t find a pulse. Called a Code Blue, and a whole party load of people ran in. I’m good now, obviously not dead. The assumption is I must have vagaled out and that my pulse was simply too weak to palpate. The first thing I said when I was conscious again was joking with my husband about adding another chapter of trauma to our book.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to for the past few months.

Hopefully starting a whole new book and leaving behind this whirlwind of trauma and heaviness.

I have been very fortunate to have some truly wonderful people in my life, most importantly my ever loving and supportive husband (truly my Samwise Gamgee). I quiet literally would have died without the support and resources I have been gifted at this moment in my life. I have been enjoying the sunshine and wonderful weather, getting better every day even while still having moments of heaviness and hard but not allowing myself to be consumed by them. I'm not better but I am getting there and I probably will continue "getting better" for the rest of my life. The dark is still there and the rain continues to fall but I am continuing to grow and flourish in the pockets of light that scatter themselves throughout the wild field of my life. Looking at the weeds for their beauty rather than something that is trying to choke me out. Finding the creatures that burrow deep in my soil and not viewing them as disgusting and dirty as things that should be hidden, but rather something that required and necessary for my field to bloom with life. Not being able to remove the old stump rooted and weathered by time and instead transforming it into something new.

I am becoming something new out of all the old and broken that I have been.

My presence in this space has been very absent over the past year and even though I am back it will probably look different than it did when I first started this account. I will at the very least be finishing all of my unfinished published works, even if it takes months or years it will eventually come.

I love the community I have met here and the incredibly kind and wonderful people I have encountered here. I appreciate this space and the freedom it provides and I plan to continue to both continue my writing and consumption of others' creativity on this platform on a much smaller scale. Each of you are so talented and I have adored experiencing others’ contributions to this space and will continue to do so.

Thank you to those of you who have reached out during this time, and those of you who noticed my absence in this space. Thank you to those of you who discovered my writing during my time away and left the kindest comments and messages. Thank you to those of you who have taken the time to read to the very end of this.

I hope you have had a better year than I have but if not I sincerely hope that you see better days soon.

Sometimes there is no light at the end tunnel to hold onto. Sometimes you are in a locked windowless room where the darkness slowly suffocates you. One day you will get out of there. You will break down that door with blood on your knuckles, your fingernails torn to shreds, and your lungs screaming for air but you will see the light again.

Shine bright my stars ✨

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Reveal time!!!

I wasn't your original Santa, but I'm so so grateful for the opportunity to write for you. Your energy to the fandom and Azris community is much appreciated and I look forward to getting to know you more! 💕

You are so incredibly sweet and I am so excited to see what you have written!

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Azriel X Eris

4k. 1/2ch. 8/10 heartbreak. 4/10 fluff.

Santa is scurrying down the chimney with this last minute gift for the lovely @iftheshoef1tz curtesy of@acotargiftexchange this was truly a pleasure to write (though it did take me several false starts) and I am so happy it is finally here! I hope you enjoy reading this little story just for you.

Eris would do anything for his brothers and Azriel would do the same for his.

Short little multi chapter with one of my favourite straggler OC.

Read on AO3

Sing a little ditty if you want on or off the tag train

@chunkypossum @futurehunt @fieldofdaisiies @hieragalbatorixdottir @the-darkestminds @jules-writes-stories @talibunny30

[unanswered-stars]

Completely unexpected but such a wonderful Christmas surprise 🎄

​These other writers are absolutely amazing and I am humbled to be placed in their midst

We are starting this the advent calendar with four incredibly talented writers from the Azris side of the fandom! We are so happy to have you and that you share your phenomenal stories with us - thank you for everything you do and thank you for being here with us! It's such a delight that you are here and an honour to have met you!

Here are just a few of their stories, but I would recommend checking out all their works!

Autumn’s Shadow (Azris, @the-darkestminds) May the Shadows Carry You Home (Azris, @the-darkestminds)

Held Close Like A Secret (Azris, @jules-writes-stories) Just Enough Light To Cast Shadows (Azris, @jules-writes-stories)

Shadows of Regret and Redemption (Azris, @unansweredstars) The Beginning and End of Friendship (Azris, @unansweredstars)

You Brought Out the Light (Azris, @futurehunt) A Court of Shadows and Ash (Azris, @futurehunt)

*divider by tsunami-of-tears

[unanswered-stars]

⛄🎄⛄🎄⛄

Santa is starting to load the sleigh up for mid month deliveries!

It sounds like your gift will have some domestic fluff lining it if the elves took their notes right? Any other requests, any baubles or trinkets you've been eying in the windowpanes of fic ideas? Also, should this present be wrapped in paper of canon verse? Modern AU? What tropes would be the worst bows on top, the best?

Santa is all ears. 💅

You are a dear fluff or angst ending in fluff are right up my chimney.

I won’t lie this Christmas faerie finds herself particularly enamored by shiny trinkets on lithe fingers and pointy little ears so if perhaps those details could be included.

I typically lean more canon verse but I have read some wonderful AU’s as well so truly whatever fits your story best.

Please don’t hate me but I’m not the biggest fan of omega/alpha vibes.

Are cuddling and hair care/caressing tropes if so please sign me up.

Santa I wish you best of luck and I thank you for your valiant efforts 🎄

[unanswered-stars]

Hi!! I’m such a huge fan of your writing, and your fics are always on my mind! I was wondering if you were going to write a part 2 of The Beginning and End of Friendship :)

feel free to not answer I don't mean to be rude or pressure I was just curious

I am absolutely squealing right now and so incredibly honored that you enjoyed my writing enough to reach out about it!

Thank you for the no pressure because I have had a lot of personal things going on and writing has been taken off the burner entirely for quite some time. My burners are still full but I have thrown throw my writing in the slow cooker and I’m slowly writing tiny pieces of projects as I can.

All of that to say there is a part 2 to The Beginning and End of Friendship planned and partially written that I had originally planned for Eris Week but that time has obviously come and gone. I’d love to give you a timeline but to be honest my writing is currently completely subjected to the whims of life. I would estimate that before it was placed on pause the story was about 1/4 written and completely plotted. I would love to finish all unfinished writting projects by the end of this year but we shall see which way the stars fall.

For your sweet kindness I’ve included a tiny little snippet below.

Azriel’s lips pressed into a thin line of irritation. There were many things that he found infuriating about the autumn prince but one of the most irritating things is how he seemed to read people as easily as the doe moved through the forest or the sparrow took to the sky.  It was simply his nature, to burn through the layers of a person with those piercing amber eyes until he had latched on to the very soul and essence of you. Few things did Azriel guard so well as his innermost being. Not even his brothers were privy to his deepest thoughts and desires, and yet Eris with his burning gaze was able to melt the many ice hardened layers of protection with ease. It irked him that out of everyone in his life Eris seemed to know him better than anyone else, always having the upper hand in any interactions they had.