uninformed-summaries-blog

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

The Big Bang Theory

I’ve seen a couple episodes of this a long time ago.  It wasn’t my cup of tea.

Summary:

Some guys are just like super, super smart and there’s an attractive blonde girl there.  They all run around attempting to be funny and stuff - for sitcom-sake.  They also pause after every single joke to give the audience time to laugh. Every single one.

The characters:

Extra female #1 - I think she’s somebody’s love interest - probably Ringo’s.  I think they added the extra ladies after their first season or so because they realized they only had one token female and that didn’t look good.  

Ringo - He looks like a Beatle.

Don’t know - I do not know his name or anything about him.

Penny - I think the creators didn’t think they could get a sufficient audience on comedy and intelligence alone, so they added a pretty girl.  I think she’s a waitress or was at some point.

Sheldon - he’s a jerk to everyone, but he’s smart, so it’s okay - like Sherlock Homes.

Darlene’s boyfriend - I think he dates Penny on this show.

Extra female #2 - a smart female character!!? Whhaaaaa!?!?!

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

The Maze Runner

I only know anything about this because of previews before movies I did watch. The internet doesn’t seem to talk about this one a lot, so I’m gonna have to guess at what’s going on.

Summary:

The guy who may be the main character is like the new guy in this weird place. The other guys are like “We’ve gotta run around in this maze for some reason.” Then a girl shows up, and everyone’s like “holy shit! I thought this was gonna be a bro-thing! Now we all have to compete for her affections!” And the girl is Effy!

The Characters:

Who the fuck knows.  Effy is the girl though.  Step down from Skins, I’d say, but whatever floats your goat.

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

The Hunger Games

SPOILER ALERT: I have zero interest in this and I never have had interest in it, but the internet sure loves it! For that reason, I know significant spoilers. Be forewarned

Summary:

These people live in a place where each year a bunch of the kids are chosen to fight to the death for entertainment or something. It’s called “Hunger” Games, so maybe it has something to do that with that? Kill some of the kids so you don’t have to feed them anymore?  Seems like you could just kill them when they’re babies to save a lot of time, effort, and resources.  They must just do this for entertainment.

The Characters:

I know that lady who was in Scrubs is in this, but she’s not in the picture. And there’s an old guy called “President Snow” who’s just got to be a dick since he’s an old white man in charge. You know how it is.

Maybe Primrose - I think that could be her. Maybe not though. I believe she dies later to further Katniss’s story.

Rue - Another of Katniss’s plot devices.

Peeta - he decorates cakes and made his arm look like a log once.  Knowing how long it takes to decorate a cake to look like a log, I can safely ask “why the fuck would you possibly need to expend that effort, Peeta?”  Just go hide behind a tree...

Katniss Everdeen - for some reason she’s more special than the other ones. She has a bow and arrow.

Thor’s Brother - I don’t know what role he plays in this.

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

Breaking Bad

(I actually do want to watch this one still... I just haven’t yet.)

Summary:

Walter White has some type of cancer or other illness and makes meth to pay for treatments because healthcare in the united states is a fucking joke. At some point he throws a pizza on top of a house and the internet loved it.

The Characters:

This Guy - Walter White’s sidekick. I hope they are friends.

Walter White - the main guy.

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Summary: 

Some Crime Scene Investigators investigate crime scenes.

The Characters:

I’ll bet that old guy on the far left is their boss or something.

Weird Pathologist - There’s always a weirdo dissecting the bodies. On this show, it’s this old guy here.

Token black guy - I can’t remember his name. Did he have a romance with Sarah?

Gil Grissom - hes the main man character. Oh, he’s so smart and cool. Wowee. Big deal alert.

Sarah Sidle - I only remember her name because I thought it sounded like “suicidal.” 

Katherine - the main female character. Her name might be Katherine.

And two more white guys.

Also, all the cast abandoned this show one by one and eventually Ted Danson was like the main guy for a minute. Maybe this is the show that Jennifer Love Hewitt was in too. Maybe it wasn’t Criminal Minds.

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

Rules of Engagement

I think this came on after another show I watched more on purpose and I gave it a chance because I like David Spade.

Summary:

Some men with naggy wives/girlfriends try to live their lives and do dumb shit and be mean to each other while their naggy wives try to make them miserable. But David Spade and Timmy don’t have wives.

The Characters:

Timmy - Russel’s servant.  He works for Russel, who is mean to him, but Timmy is a gigantic asshole right back and he’s getting paid to work for Russel, so he really needs to pipe the fuck down.

Russel - he’s a rich dickwad who loves having sex with ladies and being a dickhead. I think he owns some kinda business in an office building.

Kronk - I don’t know what his job is, but I think he’s the main character. He’s a dick to everyone.  I guess they kind of all are.

Audrey - she’s Kronk’s wife or girlfriend. She’s portrayed as kind of naggy, but really, she’s probably the nicest character on the show. While everyone else goes out of their way to be bastards to each other, she’s pretty chill.

Mike - I don’t think that’s his name, but he seems like a Mike.  He’s supposed to be the “normal” one.  While Kronk and Kuzco are off being crazy sonsofbitches and Timmy is off being like “stop being a sonofabitch, Kuzco! GAAAWWD!!” Mike is like “just be normal, guys.”

Samatha - I don’t think that’s her name either, but it fits. She’s pretty normal too, but also seems to be meant to be an annoying nag. I recently learned she was the cheerleader who fell down and injured her neck at the beginning of “Bring It On” and she was in an episode of Psych.

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

Orange Is The New Black

SPOILER ALERT: My sister never shut up about this ever, so I know significant spoilers even though I’ve never watched even one second of this show.  So be forewarned.

Summary:

Piper is the main character and she did something kinda dumb or someone she was dating did and she took the fall. So then she went to prison and all these cool ladies are there and they have all sorts of crazy prison drama and racial tensions and stuff. I think one of them kills a guard at some point. It’s just totally wild.

The Characters:

I do not know who the ones labeled “don’t know” are. Sorry. I can’t even guess. Have no fucking idea. My sister must not have cared much about them or else I zoned out while she was talking.

Pusey - Her name sounds like “Pu-say” I do not know how that might be spelled.  Apparently she is gorgeous and has beautiful eyes and my sister low-key wants to fuck her.  Sorry though, she dies.

Piper - main character. Boring.

Donna - I don’t know anything about her other than she’s Donna from That 70s Show.

Pennsatucky - also probably spelled wrong. She’s crazy religious and her name isn’t really that but I guess the other prisoners named her that to make fun of her or something.

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

Criminal Minds:

Criminal Minds is often on after Survivor, so I have accidentally seen numerous episodes of it. Somehow the internet also taught me more than I ever needed or wanted to know about this show.  This will actually be one of my more informed uninformed summaries, but I still mostly don’t pay attention on the rare occasion that I view an episode, so don’t worry. I’ll still get it all wrong...

Summary:

Criminal Minds is about a group of FBI Agents who are smarter than literally everyone on earth and aren’t afraid to be pretentious about it.  They can get inside the criminals’ minds... not literally though.  They go after the most television-ready, insane, over-the-top criminals and can always figure out what the fuck is going on when normal-brained cops wouldn’t be able to.

The Characters:

Spencer Reid - the smartest and youngest most special genius. He failed his gun test or something and everyone’s always like “are you really an FBI agent? You’re a baby. lololol.”

Emily Parenthesis - she dies all the time but not really.  She also dated both Chandler and Joey.

Derek Morgan - everyone wants to fuck this guy, but he’s only interested in flirting with the computer girl. He left the show recently, but I don’t know how that went down.

Aaron Hotchner - also goes by Hotch. I don’t know what else he does. He looks like a jerk.

Gibson - is he the boss, or is Hotchner?

J.J. - I don’t know if those are initials or if her first name is J.J. She also left once and then came back and was in Final Destination 2. She had a baby at some point. What a plot-killer.

Penelope Babygirl Garcia - she can figure out absolutely any fact on earth by wildly mashing her hands against a keyboard for six seconds.  Need to know when the unsub lost his virginity? Want to know if your baby will be a boy or a girl? Ever wondered what the meaning of life is? Ask Babygirl. She’s got it all on her computer. It’s just a frantic keymash away.

Most of the characters died or the cast members got fired or something, and maybe Jennifer Love Hewitt was on here for a minute and that lady who was the insane religious woman in The Mist.  Jennifer Love Hewitt may have been on a different show though and not this one.

[uninformed-summaries-blog]

Uninformed Summaries

Welcome to Uninformed Summaries, a blog where I plan to poorly summarize various television shows and movies (and maybe every now and then even a book or video game) which I have little to no knowledge of.  My summaries will only be provided for works I am not a fan of - preferably shows I have seen a few episodes of and am not all that into, or shows or movies I have never even seen, but which the internet and people I know have failed to shut up about.

Don't judge me for not being a fan - I could still become one later. Just enjoy the ride. Stay tuned for all sorts of information about all the fiction you love most.