unknown-decisions-blog

[unknown-decisions-blog]

Isn't This Just Great?

needs to be in bed in 6 hours to get up fucking early

suffering with insomnia

needs to be out of the house by 6 in the morning

going to a noisy house

will not get sleep forever

says that going to read manga all night. Tablet gets confiscated

suffers with panic attacks before midnight

argues with grandparents but they don't believe it happens

They were not the victims of an attempted rape

Tell me to just 'forget about it' and 'be friends' with the person that tried to rape me

Goes to aunt and tells her; she can't do anything because of legal guardian crap

Makes a gash in the arm by scissors purposely

takes it as 'Oh I fell on the concrete' when it's clear

Grandparents don't give a damn about it

reopens the wound multiple times

still don't care

gets kicked out of counseling

counselor spies on me for 120 days without my knowledge of knowing and I didn't sign up for it.

lies to the counselor, saying that I've never cut myself again

counselor doesn't listen 89% of the time

counselor tries to get me into a mental institution

grandparents refuse

Yeah, they think I don't need any help yet they give me no fucking support at all. When I tell my sister that I cut myself, she tells my grandmother who holds me for two seconds, tells me to never cut myself again, ever ever ever. I say that it's hard to stop, they call bullshit. When it truly is. 

Yeah.... I think my depression has gotten worse since I've left. But hey, tomorrow's christmas and I get new video games so at least I'll be sorta distracted over them. 

[unknown-decisions-blog]

May Come Back But Change The Account

Yes it has been forever since I have been online. I've been swamped with this new roleplay account on deviantART.com that I have about 50 roleplays going on all at once and more are coming in. So when that gets settled, I may change this account into a Black Butler Role Play account as I have watched the ENTIRE SERIES. I may get my friend from deviantART to make an account since she's interested in this site as well but doesn't know much about it. 

[unknown-decisions-blog]

May Leave...

My friend and I talked about this for a few weeks now. My depression and taking time to do other things like watch Black Butler are making me become inactive. And my grandparents have confined my games as I had horrid dreams again. Getting them back on christmas eve but I just don't seem interested in games. Interests in everything have been gone lately. Most likely physically scarred myself from something that I did. I basically just want to do nothing and watch Black Butler until I cry myself to sleep. Maybe this weekend will be better as I am going to the mall and getting a plushie that I have been wanting for a while as I am jealous of how many plushies my sister owns. But for now, I am going on a hiatus for who knows how long. Maybe forever or until the new BioShock game comes out. I don't know. I think about this every day but I just haven't decided what to do yet. My Skype, Kik and SnapChat are available if anyone would like to chat with me. Just send in an ask with your username and I will respond with my own.

[unknown-decisions-blog]

So....

I realize today that when I cut myself to where I bled yesterday, I removed the first layer of skin on my arm. It doesn't matter to me but it was a bit surprising at least. Well, I'm about to leave for that hell of a school right now which people haunt my fucking dreams from abuse. So I guess see you guys later.

[unknown-decisions-blog]

Why is it that...?

When my sister is depressed then I feel even worse? I feel like I am the reason that she is depressed. Like I did something wrong. I just feel like I want to die right now but if I try then I go to a mental facility. Family told me that will happen if I cut myself again (which I do secretly) or overdose again. I have my happy moments but then I realize the shitty state I am in. I'm not motivated to do any of the things that I loved. Because of this fucking depression. I'm damn crying right now from the pain that my sister is in and I can't do a damn thing about it because she won't let me. Fuck my life. 

[unknown-decisions-blog]

I Apologize For Not Being Online

[unknown-decisions-blog]

"Yes I do know this. But is it necessary to express the fact in such a manner?" Jack pondered about his question for a moment before speaking again. "You could just hug me as affection, you know."

  "I’m sorry." He sighed, sitting down. "I just, I wanted to show you that both me and Atlas love you very much." He whispered, kissing Jack’s cheek. "You know that, right?"

[unknown-decisions-blog]

Jack thought that she seemed down and about from when they last met. So he considered maybe a slap to the face would bring her to his attention about this matter. She did seem out of it sort of. But now at least she was alert. The downside was that she was angry with him for trying to help get her out of the state that she was in. He didn't like it when someone was depressed or thinking awful things without opening up to someone first.

Though it seemed that it was the normal state of mind to be depressed in a town as big as Fabletown was. Everyone could forget you and not even notice your presence.

The man took a step forward and placed a cloth over her reddened cheek, a look of sorrow in his eyes.

"You seemed out of it, almost depressed. I tried calling you but you didn't hear me or notice me. I'm sorry, Nerissa!" 

♠

punch/slap to the faceShe hadn’t seen it coming, honestly. Jack had always seemed so generous to her, even though they had only spoken once.What had she even done? Nothing. It just happened. And the mermaid was shocked. Her right cheek stung underneath her fingertips as she felt the reddening flesh, and for a moment she was frozen.Being hurt wasn’t new. She’d known that before. But she had never been slapped. Especially by someone she wouldn’t expect it out of. So, why?But this time she couldn’t cry - she had to be strong. Her features expressed anger, distrust, and pain as she began to speak;

"What was that for, Jack!?"

[unknown-decisions-blog]

I am getting my very own Black Butler t shirt for christmas >w< My step mom's getting me one. Hooray! I sent her a few that I like and she said that she and my little sister will see which one that they like best.

[unknown-decisions-blog]

Black Butler t shirt that my sister (I'm allowed to wear it whenever I want though) owns! c: sealedxlips, here it is!

[unknown-decisions-blog]

Thinking of Making a Ciel roleplay account on Tumblr

Now I haven't watched much of Black Butler, but once I finish season one, I will have more knowledge about his personality, attitude, etc. And Ciel's my favorite character (favorite anime character) so why not? Haha.

[unknown-decisions-blog]

"Why should I? I ain't afraid of him and don't have my tail between my legs. I'm not going to run away like a coward. The freedom of speech is still present in this mater. If you have a problem with it, the door is to the left."

"It will leave an emptiness inside. A void you will never be able to fulfill."

"You’re being extremely vague here. What exactly will leave a void? My divorce to the prince?"

[unknown-decisions-blog]

[unknown-decisions-blog]

Send me a number from 1-15 and I’ll make a starter based on the image. DO NOT LOOK AT THE IMAGES BEFOREHAND! :)

MALE/MALE SMUT VERSION. HIGHLY NSFW. (though I tried to keep it kinda tasteful?)

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[unknown-decisions-blog]

"Okay! Okay. You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere"

"You’re going to do what I say from now on?"

"I’ll chain you up again."

"Please don’t chain me up."

"Don’t make me do this. Please."

"Do you think I want to hurt you?"

"I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you listened."

"I’m...

[unknown-decisions-blog]

Send me ♫ and I'll generate an number for what my muse will say to yours.

Lyrics from songs. 1-50. ( Some angst, some fluff, some other.)

Read More

[unknown-decisions-blog]

Send me a sentence for my muse's reaction! (Master/Slave Edition)

1. "So you're the new purchase? Tell me, whats your name?"

2. "Are you truly interested in becoming my slave?"

3. "I told you to behave, do you call that behaving? Time for punishment, pet."

4. "You've been such a good pet, haven't you? Now come here and please Master"

5. "Look at me when I speak to you, slave"

6. "Do you think I was joking? Get down and lick my boots clean"

7. "Did I say slaves have permission to speak?"

8. "Have you completed your chores today, slave?"

9. "Are you ready to begin slave training?"

10. "Get on your hands and knees, I want a footstool"

11. "Strip. I want to see my new purchase properly"

12. "You've been good today, I think you've earned a reward"

13. "Is your collar too tight pet?"

14. "Before we begin, we are going to negotiate a contract"

15. "Can you see through that blindfold?"

16. "You have been disobedient, and you will be punished for it."

17. "Fetch me another glass of wine"

18. "what makes you think you have earned the right to leave the basement?"

19. "Kneel. Crawl over here, and maybe, maybe, I won't punish you this time."

20. "Oh you're such a pretty face. Buying you was such a good idea."

21. "Come here pet. I've bought you your first collar."

22. "How dare you speak to me like that."

23. "Fetch me my crop"

24. "I control you now. You are mine."

25. "Did you get my permission to do that?"

26. "Do you need some time out?"

27. "why haven't you brought me the morning paper?"

28. "If you want my permission that badly for it, beg properly"

29. "Do you wish to leave?"

30. "Today, you will get my mark"