ursa-major-eunice

[ursa-major-eunice]

I wish I was a “moon child” or “sweet sun baby” the way many are described. But I am not either, I am not radiant and otherworldly like the moon and I do not light up a room like the sun. I don’t quietly draw attention like the moon or shine so bright the attention gravitates towards me like the sun. I do not think I am an Earth child either, I do not have a nurturing cell in my body, nor am I even average at creating anything. I want a label, it sound bad but I do. Everyone hates the “core” epidemic but I love it, but no core seems to fit me. I think I’m a forgotten birthday balloon, shiny and exciting when you first see it as a child, but each year, with each new toy, it gets duller and duller until it’s a commodity and an expectation.

From, Euni

[ursa-major-eunice]

I’m so tired. It seems like everything I do is a chore for my body. I WANT to enjoy things, to enjoy school, my friends, even my down time, but my body won’t let me. I want to relax but my body is so used to being under immense stress, pressure, and pain that it won’t relax even if im asleep. I want to rest but my body knows the rest is temporary, that in a few short hours it will have to get up again. Not that my brains actively trying to relax anyway, my thoughts won’t stop. My sleep is restless, I don’t even sleep that much anyway, taking three hours to get to sleep, and only sleeping for four. The only day I can actually rest is Friday night/Saturday morning but soccer season is starting so soon even those days will be filled with stress. I want to rest but I won’t let myself, I need to keep going, I’m like a shark, if I stop I die, if I stop, I have confront everything that is keeping my from resting. I can’t rest. I won’t let myself. Even if I need to.

[ursa-major-eunice]

Hiiii it’s Eunice. this is my sadder yap account. My alter ego if you will 👹👹. This is where I will do more of my sadder yapping sessions, soooo… be prepared?? Occasionally I will burst into happy yaps but usually that will be on my main account @little-dipper-euni

Sorry this was so short, I’m just kind of tired.

Sincerely, Eunice,(your mentally ill friend)