v-aspd

[v-aspd]

People don’t realize how hard I work to treat them with kindness. I want to be a good person but some days… like today… the urge to beat the ever loving shit out of some people is almost too much to handle. I can’t put up my false persona today. I’m too tired for it. I’m trying so hard not to unmask and cuss these fuckers out. Anger is the strongest emotion I feel. Most of my emotions are very dulled down. I have no empathy, no remorse and I don’t feel anxiety. Sometimes my body feels the effects of stress but it’s like my mind doesn’t register stress… but anger? That I have felt and sometimes it wants to burst out of me.

[v-aspd]

Hey! I’m V, and I want to welcome you to my blog! I’m professionally diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) and ADHD. I have traits of both primary and secondary psychopathy (these are often referred to as psychopathy and sociopath). In this blog, I talk about what life is like for me with ASPD. ASPD is a spectrum, meaning symptoms can vary in intensity, and some people may be more high-functioning than others. I’m pretty high-functioning because I score high in psychopathy, which makes my decisions and actions calculated and makes me great at masking. My disorder is mostly genetic, but trauma has also shaped some parts of it. I’m happy to answer questions, clear up misconceptions, and share my experiences! Ask me anything you want :) I also created a community called Cluster B Campfire. It’s a space where people with Cluster B personality disorders can vent, connect, and share. If that sounds interesting, feel free to check it out.

This blog is open to anyone 13 and older, but some topics may not be suitable for younger audiences.

Thanks for stopping by, hope you’ll stick around :)

[v-aspd]

Happy New Year! I just added a post in the community I created called Cluster B Campfire! This year, let’s be here for each other. Share your stories, let it all out, and support the people who get what it’s like. And hey, let’s grow this little campfire into a bonfire! Join our community :)

[v-aspd]

I was diagnosed with ASPD several months ago. I always knew something was different with me. Even so, I’ve always been high functioning because I make the choice and effort to be a “good person.” Why? Because I want to be able to live a normal life in a society that has no room for my true nature… so I blend in so I can do what I want without trouble. However, sometimes it can be very difficult for me to keep it together. I get bored easily and I crave mental stimulation. Unfortunately, things like self destruction and toying with other people’s emotions tend to bring me the most satisfaction. Since I’ve worked so hard to create the persona everyone knows, if I fall “off the hinges” and start self destructing and doing what I truly want to… I could ruin everything. Such a dilema to be in right now.