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Lance: You want to play hardball? Good. Word on the street is, you like jazz.

Sendak: I don't just like jazz; I'm fond of it.

Lance: I don't understand the difference. Give us your memories or I will ruin jazz for you forever.

Sendak: I'd like to see you try.

Lance: Wrong choice, daddy-o.

Lance: ♪ Skeeba-dee-skop-gop, boo-ba-roppin jazz ♪ ♪ Jazzity-jazz, joozle jazz ♪ ♪ Jizz jang jingle jazz ♪

Hunk: What are you gonna tell your kids, man? That their daddy's a crook?

Sendak: I don't have any kids.

Hunk: My whole thing was based on you having kids! Now all of this is gonna be hypothetical.

Keith: [Opens a roll-up bag full of weapons]

Shiro: No tools, Keith.

Pidge: All right, mister, here are five stories about my friend Lee-Ann and her alleged Lyme disease.

Sendak: How's that gonna make me talk?

Pidge: Not everything's about you, Sendak. I just needed to vent. God, you're such a Lee-Ann.

Coran: All right, listen up, buddy. You're gonna tell me where it is. And also what it is. I'm a little unclear what we're after.

Lance: ♪ Zwee-bop, zwee-bob, Bob and the mob ♪ ♪ Mob-mob-mob ♪ ♪ Bob-Bob-Bob ♪

Keith: [Unsheaths a sword]

Shiro: No swords.

Hunk: So she's gonna look up at you, with hypothetical tears in her hypothetical eyes, and ask why all the other hypothetical daddies came in for career day. [Breaks down crying] I can't. I can't.

Pidge: So it's like, "Yeah, maybe you're tired all the time "because you're sick, Lee-Ann, or maybe you're depressed because you live in Reno."

Lance: ♪ Ta-ta, ta-ta-ta, ta-ta, dibbity-doo ♪ ♪ Cymbal-cymbal-cymbal-cymbal cymbal-cymbal ♪

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SEASON 8 EPISODE 1 SPOILERS!!

Lance: You guys are not going to believe this. There's a TV show about us.

Allura: We were watching TV and we saw a trailer.

Shiro: What? How is that possible?

Pidge: [Googling details about the show] Listen to this. "Voltron Defender of the Universe is a new production from acclaimed writer Jameson Brewer who scoured the universe gathering information on the paladins from the peaceful planet Arus to the remnants of planet Daibazaal. His sources including mermaids, taujeerians, a space mall cop and the surprisingly knowledgeable sitcom star Bi Boh Bi."

Hunk: "Brought to you by the critically acclaimed World Events Productions."

Shiro: Lance, do you really think it's a good idea for us to watch a show about ourselves?

Lance: Come on, a day binge watching TV? This is the kind of wacky time wasting nonsense I've been missing.

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That’s adorable, you have a crush on yourself. I’d be careful. The guy you’re in love with is a douche.

Lance [To Lotor], probably

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Hunk: Something has to be done, and I have a plan. We use mankind’s greatest’s weapon.

Keith: A grenade.

Hunk: The written word.

Keith: Ugh, I’m out.

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Young Cadet: So, to become a pilot, are there like trials or an interview?

Lance: You just don't do anything I would do... and definitely don't do anything I wouldn't do. There's a little gray area in there and that's where you operate.

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Allura: I’m trying not to be mad at Keith, but man that guy can push my buttons.

Hunk: Why are so mad at him?

Allura: Look, I don’t wanna talk about it. Okay?

Hunk: Well, it just seems that…

Allura: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking. Has anyone seen my list by the way?

Shiro: Uh, no. What’s it look like?

Allura: It’s a piece of paper and it says “Keith” on it.

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Voltron Characters as Brooklyn Nine Nine Quotes

Lance:

Keith: 

Pidge: 

Allura: 

Shiro:

Hunk:

Lotor: 

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Lance: I owe you my life

Pidge: No thanks. I’ve seen it, and I’m not impressed.

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Lance: I will destroy everything you love, Keith!

Keith: Well, what if I love you?

Lance: [blushing] jokes on you! I have been self-destructive my whole life

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Pidge: It’s 2018. Why can’t I delete friends in real life?

Pidge: Okay, so it turns out what I was thinking of is called murder.

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Pidge: I'm thinking about getting a dog.

Allura: Oh, can she? Can she get a dog, please Shiro?

Shiro: No. If you get a dog, I'm going to be the one stuck taking care of it.

Pidge: You wouldn't have to take care of it.

Shiro: Really? And who watered the philodendron on your bookcase and sang it back to life?

Pidge: Yeah, that was made out of silk, Shiro.

Hunk: Okay, Pidge, what you need is indeed something that buries a bone, but I'm not talking about a dog. I'm talking about a man.

Pidge: Here we go.

Hunk: You're clearly trying to fill a hole

Lance: [About to say something dirty]

Hunk: ...in her heart.

Hunk: You feel like the seventh wheel, because now Lotor is with Allura and Lance's with Keith and Shay's with Big Fudge.

Lance: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Big Fudge.

Lance: "With"? I am not "with" Keith. Wrong preposition.

Lance: Later tonight I'm hoping to be on Keith, right? Or under Keith, right? Or, we're all adults, I'll just say it behind Keith.

Allura: [Singing] Oh, Lance's got feeling for a boy.

Lance: Yeah. Penis feelings. Because he's hot.

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Keith: Nothing in life is free.

Shiro: Adventure is free

Pidge: Life is free.

Hunk: Love is free.

Lance: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

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Lance: We’re the exact opposites of each other and at the same time we’re so similar. We complete each other. We’re like a negative and a positive numbers.

Keith: And together we become a zero. We become nothing.

Lance: Did you really have to ruin my poetic ramblings?

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Keith: Tell him off, Hunk! Assert yourself!

Hunk: That’s my ice cream cone!

Keith: Great, now let him have it!

Hunk: You can have it!

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Coran: We aren't mad, we're just disappointed.

Allura: No, we are mad.

Coran: Yes, we are. We are livid. But we're going to let this one slide.

Lance: Thank you.

Allura: No, we are not.

Coran: I'm not a mind reader, Princess.

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Pidge: Hey, what time is it?

Lance: I don’t know, pass me the recorder.

Lance: [plays recorder loudly]

Allura: whO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE RECORDER AT 2 AM?

Lance: It’s 2 am.

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Shiro: [about Keith] It’s only been a month and a half. He’ll find his own place

Adam: He slept on our bedroom floor last night, Takashi!

Shiro: He watched a scary movie!