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Happy Pride!!! 🏳️‍🌈🎉🏳️‍🌈

From our remarkably gay research department!

It's contagious, you're gay now.

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“Magnolia, their eyes are MOVING!”

the Whitley Institute, a workplace comedy.

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"I know what a meme is, Andy." - Magnolia Harkness

Enjoy some non-canon memes while we work on getting more statement reports ready (I, the master of this blog, did not realize I was signing up to have an actual job...)

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Interview of Lucas George (06.23.2025)

Interview transcribed by Harriet Reynolds, Head of Human Resources, and left on the desk of Magnolia Harkness, Head Research Archivist, to be filed.

This document is strictly confidential. Any unauthorized distribution will be met with appropriate action by W.I.R.E.

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Average Whitley Institute Outing

Be honest, if you were a busker would he creep you out? I swear he means well.

He just got nervous!

Other character is TBA (nickname Can Opener).

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Additional photographic evidence from Statement #0190807

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Statement #0190807

Google doc for alt text

Additional Tags: abandoned building, animatronic, birthday, Chuck E. Cheese Investigated: June 20, 2025 Investigative Team: Magnolia Harkness, Katalina Valentine, Aurora Van Dale, Theodore Flowers, Wilbur Bubblespout Report Written By: Magnolia Harkness Case State: Immediate problem resolved, more research needed

Report: The follow-up we did with Reggie Perrel didn’t turn up much other than his predisposition to a fear of Chuck E. Cheese, stemming from an event at a birthday party when he was young. This could have led to him having such a strong reaction to the events described in his statement. After our own encounter with the animatronic, I’m willing to chalk up the fact that this incident happened on his birthday as pure coincidence and simply the result of overthinking on his part. Understandably, he didn’t have much to say after 6 years. Cynthia Bouvier was more useful, having actually worked at the Chuck E. Cheese before it shut down. She was able to inform us that they had been ordering large amounts of strange parts for ‘repairing’ the animatronic in the months before the establishment closed. Between that information and the research I conducted myself into the functionality of Chuck E. Cheese animatronics, I’m willing to bet those extra parts had something to do with the odd behavior and movements of the animatronic.  The building itself was abandoned, as expected, though Andy found the police reports of the break-in that happened a few months ago (which I have attached). The culprits remain unnamed so we were unable to find them for questioning. The animatronic Chuck E. Cheese, itself, was mostly intact when we entered the building. It seemed to run on a battery of some sort as we cut power pretty quickly. Wilbur attempted to hold a birthday party for it before ultimately impaling it on a piece of arcade machinery, successfully cutting off whatever power supply it was running on. Between the heat of the machinery and some presumed overriding of its programming, I’m unsurprised that the animatronic was able to force its leg to bend in a way I imagine it was programmed to believe it was supposed to be able to. What I am more concerned about is its ability to bite me (yes, Andy, get it out of your system, again). Its punches felt less targeted, but its ability to actually latch onto my shoulder was intriguing. Unfortunately, it was in too much of a state of disrepair to do any thorough investigation into the changes made to its endoskeleton. Andy’s doing further investigation into the computer I was able to take from the building, but I doubt we’ll find much else relating to this particular case.

Magnolia's Personal Notes*: *translated from shorthand I really need to check with H.R. if we have the budget to hire someone else, I can’t keep borrowing Rory.

Additional Photo Evidence

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Interview of Magnolia Harkness (04.21.2025)

Interview transcribed by Harriet Reynolds, Head of Human Resources, and left on the desk of Magnolia Harkness, Head Research Archivist, to be filed.

This document is strictly confidential. Any unauthorized distribution will be met with appropriate action by W.I.R.E.

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Interview of Katalina Valentine (03.07.2022)

Interview transcript found by Magnolia Harkness following the disappearance of Edward Barkley, former Head Research Archivist.

This document is strictly confidential. Any unauthorized distribution will be met with appropriate action by W.I.R.E.

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Interview of Wilbur Bubblespout (08.24.2021)

Interview transcript found by Magnolia Harkness following the disappearance of Edward Barkley, former Head Research Archivist.

This document is strictly confidential. Any unauthorized distribution will be met with appropriate action by W.I.R.E.

easter egg

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Interview of Theodore Flowers (06.27.2019)

Interview transcript found by Magnolia Harkness following the disappearance of Edward Barkley, former Head Research Archivist.

This document is strictly confidential. Any unauthorized distribution will be met with appropriate action by W.I.R.E.

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Happy Birthday Andy! 🎉

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IT'S WILBUR BUBBLESPOUT!!! 🫧

Wilbur Bubblespout is a cheerful occultist who does a bit of this and that.

Stats: Age: 13? Height: 6ft 7.25mm Birthday: June 31, 1927 Length of Employment: 4 meters

Employment Fun Facts: He doesn't work here. Break Room Mug: a normal white mug that somehow has a Polaroid of Ed embedded in it He feeds The Pile Who let him in here? Interviewed: August 24, 2021

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Meet Luc George 👻

Luc George is a superstitious occultist who explores dark places.

Stats: Age: 24 Height: 5'6" Birthday: October 13, 2000 Length of employment: 3 weeks

Employment Fun Facts: Newest member of the research team Break Room Mug: A cartoon ghost that says "boo!" Has been fired from every previous job Keeps trying to go see The Pile (has not been successful) Interviewed: June 23, 2025

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Meet Katalina Valentine💅

Katalina Valentine is an intimidating elocutionist who leads.

Stats: Age: 25 Height: 5'8" with heels, 5'5" without Birthday: November 18, 1999 Length of employment: 3 1/2 years

Employment Fun Facts: Probably overqualified for this job Break Room Mug: Don't talk to me until I've eaten this mug Makes Andy drive her to nail appointments Has an anatomical brain model named Bianca on her desk Interviewed: March 7, 2022

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Meet Teddy Flowers🧸

Teddy Flowers is a hopeful protector who helps his friends.

Stats: Age: 23 Height: 6'5" Birthday: September 25, 2001 Pronouns: he/him Length of Employment: 6 years

Employment Fun Facts: Was hired specifically to clean up after Andy Break Room Mug: just a normal mug but it's left-handed Has a cosplay replica Buster Sword in his janitor's closet Keeps a goldfish in the company van named Theodore Interviewed: June 27, 2019

Bonus Boy(friend):

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Meet Andy Maitland 👾

Andy Maitland is a tech-savvy occultist who practically lives online.

Stats: Age: 26 Height: 6'1" Birthday: February 15, 1999 Pronouns: they/she Length of Employment: 8 years

Employment Fun Facts: Longest standing employee of the research department Break Room Mug: I paused my game to be here Only one who can work the printer Checks the online forums Interviewed: ??? (Not found yet)