why-are-you-screaming-blog

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

"Who am I?" Is a question I'm asking myself. But would a better question not be "who do I want to be?" Because, you see, this shitty little wonderful world is just a round bloody rock in an infinite universe, so what does it matter what you should be, what other people want or expect you to be? Be who you feel you should be in the moment. Change when you want to. But never settle. I don't know what my message is here, and somehow that's my exact message. Things don't have to make perfect sense. Someone once told me the universe naturally inclines towards chaos, and I love that. That's why your headphones are tangled when you pick them up 3 seconds after setting them down. And it's why nothing can ever be 100% predictable. So, basically, it isn't possible to be someone you're not, don't settle for anything that isn't what you really want, and have fun in life. Life is wonderful when you take it a moment at a time. Enjoy yourself and don't ever give up

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

On one hand I want to delete my tumblr, because this isn't who I am, but on the other hand, I have no idea who I am. I'm just little pieces of people I like and then a little bit of self-awareness. You ever get so self-aware that you don't even know who you are? Agh, it's so damn frustrating! What do you do? There are so many things I want to do but they're all so very conflicting! I want to be the smart girl who hides her sadness with jokes, and then I also want to be a peaceful and indifferent soul who just doesn't give a shit about anyone, and it's great.

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

So do you ever think at 2am "man, I have to write a book", because I do. I have so much to say and no one to say it to. It's so... infuriating,,, to have all these thoughts and nowhere to put them.

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

Rural Britain Gothic

You look out of the window. You hear the sounds of cars but through the fog you see nothing. It's always foggy outside.

You pick up your phone with a growing sense of dread. What's the password? You don't know, but the spirits do. The phone unlocks. You are filled with relief.

A groan in the distance. You barely notice. You're used to it now.

Something is compelling you to look up local churches on Google. You try. No signal, says the webpage. You cannot remember a time when there was a signal. You go outside and weep.

The house creaks and groans. The house is settling, they tell you. No, you know the truth.

You go for a walk and a mob of people start to make their way towards you. They ask you if you would like to hire a tractor. You decline politely. They back off, but you know that next time you might not be so lucky.

Each time you drive to the nearest city, it seems to be further away. You could've sworn that it only took an hour and a half ten years ago, but these days the sixty mile drive takes about three hours.

You wake up at 4am with a thirst. Beside your bed is a cup of salt water. It was not there when you went to sleep. You drink the entire cup.

You play hide and seek in the field with your brother, and when your mother calls for dinner he does not follow you to the kitchen. There is no plate for him on the table. Your mother smiles, her teeth somewhat sharper than usual.

There are two bus stops in the county. At one, a family of seagulls dwell. The other? Well... it's best you don't find out.

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

A Selection of Songs From My Spotify Favourites

This is just a small selection of songs from my Spotify favourites playlist, I'd say they're mostly indie/rock songs with a few odd songs mixed in. Also I've made sure not to put any songs that are by the same artist (with the possible exception of The Killers/Brandon Flowers (Brandon is the lead singer of The Killers)). Enjoy!

-Dancing With Myself - Billy Idol

-Nighttime Girls - The Districts

-MANTRA - Bring Me The Horizon

-Don't Stop Me Now - Queen

-The Man - The Killers

-Bad Decisions - Two Door Cinema Club

-Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap

-Time To Pretend - MGMT

-If You Wanna - The Vaccines

-Sex - The 1975

-Graffiti - CHVRCHES

-Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles

-We Didn't Start The Fire - Billy Joel

-Dancing Queen - Abba

-One - The Hunna

-Jilted Lovers And Broken Hearts - Brandon Flowers

-Failure by Design - Brand New

-Banquet - Bloc Party

I would link them but I'm a lazy arse

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

Simple Self-Care / Things to Make You Feel Better (an unusually helpful post)

-Take a shower or bath. If you're anything like me, you've been avoiding it for days, saying "I'll do it tomorrow" on repeat.

-Shave if you haven't in a while. You'll feel fresher and more comfortable afterwards.

-Put on some music you love that you haven't listened to in a while. If you have Spotify why not shuffle play your favourited songs.

-If you have fairy lights or lamps in your room, switch off the main light and put those on instead. Softer lighting is relaxing and less harsh on your eyes.

-Just drink a glass of water, preferably with ice. You will feel fresher afterwards, especially if you've been eating and drinking loads of horrible artificial stuff, like me.

- Put on some clean clothes or pyjamas. If you've been wearing the same sweatpants and hoodie for three days, I guarantee you will feel immediately cleaner and just generally better if you change.

-Change your bedcovers. Having a clean, freshly made bed is way better than a crumb-filled dump that looks like a murder scene.

-If you have any homework or revision to do, DO IT NOW! Make sure you have a tidy workspace and have all the essentials like highlighters, post-it notes, etc.

-Put on a movie or show. It can be one you've seen it 50 times before, or a brand new one recommended to you by a friend. My personal favourites for background viewing are Friends, Harry Potter and Mean Girls (an odd mix, I know).

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

Hey did anyone know that on mobile you can drag the little pencil button you use to create a post around the screen like a little snake because I just discovered it and I've never had this much fun

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

Lack of Moods

Today I was on Spotify, and I was thinking about making a new playlist, you know, as you do. I feel like there are a lot of "mood" playlists going about, like a happy playlist, a sad playlist, etc.

I thought about making one of these, and then I realised: I've never really had any moods. I've never had one day where I'm just plain happy. The only "moods" I seem to have are just varying levels of anger.

Happy to me is like, not angry. Sad is like, angry, mostly at myself, but not willing to do anything about it, and also I want to cry.

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

The Hadpojk (3)

Captain's Log Entry 4 (102.3.26)

Captain Teraxl of the Hadpojk

I have come to an agreement with the human. She calls herself Taylor, an unfamiliar name to me. Taylor is bound for the Irite System, which is about half a jwioo away from the Dresti Station. I am slightly uncomfortable about her method of payment, however.

Taylor has informed me that to compensate for her being on my ship, she will do "odd jobs" around the place. This doesn't sound very - how to put it - official to me. But she really is not that awful, and I would feel bad to leave her on the Dresti Station, especially when we are travelling to the exact system she wishes to go to.

Taylor is tall, and her head hair is brown in colour. I find the head hair that some species have rather unsettling, no offense intended.

When I met Taylor she was wearing a grubby and cracked looking shirt with what seemed to be writing and strange human art on it. The clothing covering her legs was torn and ripped, too. I don't know what this human did to get into such a state, but I will be sure to inquire about that later.

Captain out.

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

What I don't understand is why he doesn't do ever stand-up show in that exact outfit. I'd pay anything to see that

John Mulaney as “conceptual piss artist,” and Stefon’s lawyer, Shy, on SNL during Weekend Update.

03/17/18

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

I just saw a post about kicking life's ass by doing shit out of spite for existence itself, or maybe I didn't, I might've imagined it in my spaced-out state. Anyway, I saw that and it made me think of something. But now that I think about it... what did it make me think about? I don't remember. Here's a life tip though: don't count your eggs in one basket. Use two.

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

No Motivation

I really want to continue writing my story, but I have no motivation! Yay! All I feel like doing is lying in bed watching John Mulaney and listening to We Didn't Start The Fire.

What a life! Sure I'll go to work, and sure I'll put on makeup but I do it all in a blind haze of "I'm only doing this because of pressure". I haven't showered in way too long and I've eaten probably about 1 proper meal in the last week.

I know it's bad to survive on Chinese takeaway and cookies but I can't be bothered to get anything better! What do I do! Argh! I feel like dying but also I don't want to die, and I don't know how I'm ever going to survive in the future!

So how are you all doing? I'm great thanks

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

Reblogging because I could use some good energy in my life

くコ: 彡 くコ: 彡くコ: 彡くコ: 彡くコ: 彡くコ: 彡

Reblog those rainbow gay squids and something good will happen to you

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

Hey Gaud!

REAL QUICK EVERYONE SIGN MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY CARD

I FORGOT TO GET HER A GIFT, THIS IS MY LAST HOPE

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

Hey- i like animal crossing and panic! a lot, and cats (bean toes 💖) and cooking shows!

Reblog/like if you want to talk!

Hello everyone! I’ve been feeling really lonely and I want to make new friends, so please reblog or like if any of your interests pop up, and we could start chatting in the messages maybe

Just a disclaimer, I’m not a massive fan girl over stuff, I’ve lost my passion in a lot of stuff unfortunately but I obviously do still like these things listed:

Animals

Cats

Anime

Pokemon

Panic! At the disco

World of Warcraft

Animal crossing

Rupaul’s drag race

Any cooking shows, i like Come Dine With me

Batman

My hero academia

Free! (Swimming anime)

Show by rock!

Black butler

Anohana

Ouran high school host club

I will need to think of more, but please reblog/like if you have a common interest and would like to talk :)

I’m not expecting a lot of likes or reblogs, but even 1 or 2 will make me happy

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

This is fucking perfect I just... It has reduced me to tears. Catch me turning up at a 24-hour supermarket at 12am on Halloween night blasting this, accompanied by Satan himself. We buy crackers, chocolate and marshmallows and we make smores using the song to melt the marshmallows (because it's fire, get it?), and we dine like kings. The slightly scared but too tired to care supermarket workers join us. We all chant ancient incantations. A portal appears and we step in. We find ourselves in hell itself. All is well.

stop what you are doing and watch this now

@your-new-dealer discovered this and i am so grateful

[why-are-you-screaming-blog]

The Hadpojk (2)

Captain's Log Entry 2 (102.3.26)

Captain Teraxl of the Hadpojk

It is now my second jwiuaj commanding the Hadpojk. No incidents were reported between the ship's departure from my homeworld and our arrival at the Dresti Station, so I declare my first journey a success.

I have assembled a small team to board the Dresti Station, consisting of myself and three members of my crew, all Dynstain. I reason that a having a small team and staying together will minimise any risk we face of carrying unwanted guests back aboard the Hadpojk.

We are leaving imminently. Captain out.

Captain's Log Entry 3 (102.3.26)

Captain Teraxl of the Hadpojk

My team and I have arrived back from our first excursion to the Dresti Station. The mission was a success, and we acquired some cheap platinum and copper for future ship repairs.

However, I met a strange being calling itself a human. The human tried to persuade me to let it come aboard my ship, claiming it wouldn't bother me or my crew and just wanted passage to the Irite System, my next destination. I would be happy to oblige to this request, if this human was willing to pay, which it was not.

The human called itself "broke" to which I suggested an infirmary visit (the human laughed mockingly and pulled the pocket fabric up out of its battered legwear). According the the human, "broke" is the reason it cannot pay for passage aboard the Hadpojk.

On our second visit to the station the human hopes to negotiate with me a price for it travelling with us to the Irite System. I am sceptical about its ability to fund this, but I remain positive about the situation because, of course, my primary mission (after transporting paying passengers and goods) is to make new allies.

I must quickly nutriate before we return to the station. Captain out.