whytheballs-mars

[whytheballs-mars]

LMFAO there's a super popular batfam x reader writer who thinks this btw!! Stay safe y'all and Fuck Trump !!!

[whytheballs-mars]

imagine fucking clark kent... mid air.

this probably—most definitely—wasn't your brightest idea.

but it's not everyday you get to fuck and fly with superman now, do you?

you had to convince him to do it. he loved you, and loved being intimate with you, but this was—and he was sure of it—one hell of a bad idea. so it took you weeks, actual weeks, of begging and convincing, talking about it, mapping out every reason why you thought this was genius.

"please, kent, please! it'll be so fun and refreshing!" you sat on his lap while he was laying down on the bed, looking up at you, shaking his head. "people will notice and see us, sweetie." you ran your hands up his chest, "if you go high up enough, they won't even see a thing!"

finally, after two weeks of not touching you (because you refused to let him do so unless it was to take you mid air), he agreed.

you were tightening your silk robe around your waist, waiting for him by the balcony. you obviously weren't wearing anything underneath it, considering the main goal was intimacy. he arrived, in his own black robe, and grabbed you firmly yet delicately by the waist.

"are you ready, pretty?" he asked, voice low and protective. your knees buckled a bit, but you nodded. "of course." and he tightened his grip around your waist before jumping up in the air, and holy shit-

you were flying.

then, you noticed his hand wonder. the hand that he hadn't used to grip you was snaking its way inside your robe, brushing against your boobs and hardened nipples, before migrating all the way down to your cunt.

"f-foreplay? mid-flight?" and he chuckled, his eyes darkening with lust. "when did we think we were gonna do it?" and before you even has half the mind to answer, you felt two of his thick fingers press against your entrance, sliding inside.

he pumped inside you and your legs felt like pudding—half from the whole flying thing, and the other half from the fact he was fingering you mercilessly just like he knows you like. his palm is slapping against your clit and your legs tremble at every impact.

"w-when are we stopping?" and he paused for a second, before giving you that grin that tells you you're knees deep in this mess. "when you cum."

the simple sentence made a moan bloom from your chest, walls clenching down on his fingers. "y'wanna cum for me, baby?" you nod, "yeah? yeah? wanna give me one before the real thing?" and his dirty talking is throwing you off the edge, white droplets of cream dribbling down to his hand as she moaned his name as loud as she could. who cares? they're in the sky.

finally, the movement comes to an alt. they stop flying, stop moving.

you're still delirious, but smiling victoriously when he undoes his robes, hard cock revealing itself for you.

you salivate and bite your lip, feeling his dick rub against your sticky folds, jumping a bit when his mushroom top bumps into your clit. "this is so..." he trails off and you finish, "filthy?" and he hums while nodding, eyes closing while he loses himself at the sensation of your wet pussy.

finally, finally, he starts pushing himself in. it's scary and surreal, the thought of fucking in mid air turning you on more than it should. you love how you can see the birds flying next to you guys and feel his big veins hitting all the right spots inside you. he's so focused, focused on not letting you fall, focused on not being too rough, focused on making you feel good.

and fuck, the adrenaline rush heightened your senses and you could feel every fucking thing.

the way his vein bulged everytime you moaned in his ear, how tightly he was holding onto you, the cold breeze caressing you exposed skin, the sound of his heavy balls slapping against you..

you were close. dangerously close.

your own hand snaked down between your legs and you rubbed your clit softly, making yourself twitch in pleasure. "f-fuck, clark!" your voice got louder and louder with every string of sweet sounds getting pulled out of between your plush lips and he couldn't get enough.

your orgasm hit you like a train.

the adrenaline and stress of falling made everything feel ten times more intense, your walls clenching rapidly around him. cream started dribbling down your hole, forming a ring around his girthy base. "oh my fucking-" was really all you could coherently say in such a situation, every other word melting with eachother.

"baby- baby, shit- yes-" you had the man of steel stuttering and drooling, the sensation of your mushy walls clamping down on him too much for the poor man. he quickly let himself go, his cum coating your insides in a thick, white and milky layer.

he gasped, breath hitching when he felt the warmth of his cum fill you up. he pulled out slowly, your name slipping out of his mouth, while still catching his breath.

the flight back home was full of panting and quick dirty jokes you threw at him to fluster him.

bonus : bruce wayne noticed superman flying up in the sky.. up.. and up... and then stopping? wait.. he's with someone.. what are those movements–oh. they're fucking. this is officially none of his business anymore.

[whytheballs-mars]

Why is there a smut shortage

[whytheballs-mars]

okay guys, I need help. I've been looking for this CAI bot I found a few months ago and I haven't been able to find it again. It's a Bruce Wayne bot and in it, Bruce thought the user was dead but the user had amnesia and ended up remarrying. Bruce finds out the user isn't dead because he sees him/her/them with their new husband at a gala. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME FIND THIS BOT IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR MONTHS

[whytheballs-mars]

[whytheballs-mars]

You know one of the flaws that I hate about x reader smut is that authors seem to think we women are just orgasm machines. Like it doesn't matter if this guy is a sex god if my body don't want to then she won't. Like I just read a fan fiction where the guy gives her two orgasms in a row. I'm sorry let me repeat that...TWO ORGASMS IN A ROW AS IN JUST A SECOND OR MINUTE LATER SHE CAME AGAIN!! If you were like this you are either wishfully thinking or most likelier you are a big virgin who knows what sex is and how sex it is done but not in theory and this is coming from a virgin as well but from reading about women's experiences or hearing them talk about I know this isn't what happens to women. I mean hell I have a tough time of it when it's myself. So please if you can stop writing about women this way.

[whytheballs-mars]

Although JASON TODD has changed for the better and is now a good boy, he still retains some customs from his past. However, he swears, he's a good boy now! So, when you're snuggled in bed, holding each other on a cold night, and your hand unconsciously slides under his pillow, you say in a scolding tone: “Jason...”. He looks at you with doggy eyes and pouts. “I can explain,” he whispers, blinking angelically, as if you haven't found a glock under his pillow. You drop the gun and roll your eyes snuggling back into him.

[whytheballs-mars]

for a satire news site they hit the nail on the head

[whytheballs-mars]

Bruce wayne x blackwidow!reader, with smut, do wtv you want tbh!

YALL

SEND ME REQS

for jason or dick

or bruce wayne

ill write it

i promise

[whytheballs-mars]

omg, first?? I love this sm

I couldn’t resist 😕

Accidentally telling Jason Todd that you love him when he’s balls deep inside of you, bottoming out for the first time in what feels like forever.

“Fuck—Missed this s’much.” He groaned above you, more than half of his weight smushing you between pure muscle and a soft mattress.

“Missed you Jay.” You hiss at the familiar stretch. Your eyes drift down to where you two finally connect and with a moan you throw your head back, whispering softly.

“God I love you.”

And Jasons heart flutters. Or maybe it was his dick. Something fluttered and he paused mid thrust. “What did you say?” And you’re scrambling to explain what happened in that moment to cause that to slip out. Because you two are only friends. Friends who fuck. For stress and stress only. Right?

WRONG! And thanks to your slip up he’s forcing more of it out of your mouth, slipping his dick out to let a glob of his saliva sit against your entrance like a pearl, pushing himself back in and Jasons teasing you again.

“Tell me again, yeah? Tell me how you feel—show me how much you love me.” He tugs your head back, teeth attacking your jugular, hips snapping into you harshly.

“Love you Jay- Love you s’mu-uch!” You babbled out, fat tears pooling on the silk pillow cover as he makes you cum for the 5th time that night, stuffing you full, eating himself out of your disgustingly sticky and overstimulated hole, just to fuck himself into you again.

“I love you. Always have always will. Lemme take care of you. Lemme be yours.”

[whytheballs-mars]

no i will actually never get over jason todd. he might not always be a hyperfixation but he will always be in my heart. i will always be immensely fond of the man who is so very defined by love and yet doomed for violence.

as a boy he believed robin was magic, he liked school, he sought out his biological mother though she never did the same for him, he shielded her in his last moments. he died in his robin suit, he gave up education to protect people, he was beaten as his mother watched.

as a teenager he begged his father to show him he missed him and that his death meant something, that he didn't come back into a world where he no longer had a place, that his death wasn't just a cautionary tale. he got his throat slit and he was left in a crumbling building.

he dedicated his life to protecting people, controlling crime in the only way he knew would benefit the people and keep them safe. he delivers justice and does his best to prevent cases such as his own. he is deemed irrational, an issue - he gets brainwashed, infused with a crippling fear. that is the first time his father tells him he loves him.

he is a big, scary dog people would sooner stay away from and put in a cage than give him a chance to show he would rip your attacker's arm off to save you. he's exposed his belly many times and all he ever got was the kick of a boot.

[whytheballs-mars]

Your honor, I see no lies here.

[whytheballs-mars]

MEE MEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEE

who wants to talk about jason todd & the political state of the world ??

[whytheballs-mars]

It Only Takes One

You're kneeling in front of him. Any other time, he would be fighting the heat that threatens to rise to his face. Any other time, he would be reaching out to cup the back of your head, eager to guide you closer. But it's not any other time. There's a gun pressed to where Jason's fingers should be on your scalp, and Jason feels cold.

The armor of his Red Hood gear is too tight. He can't tell what your expression is under your domino mask. He wonders if you're scared. It would be worse if you weren't, if you trust him enough to save you.

He doesn't hear most of Falcone's speech, he's too busy desperately thinking of a way to save you. He can't seem to come up with one. The cold metal of the gun is against your head and he's halfway across the room from you. He doesn't know how to save you.

Falcone shoves the barrel of the gun against your head. It takes every inch of Jason's self-control not to lurch forward. "You really thought there wouldn't be consequences for burning down my warehouses, did you," Falcone asks, smug and confident.

"I'll admit the two of you have been a real problem for me," he continues, nudging your leg with his foot in feigned disgust. He looks up from you to meet Red Hood's gaze, "But it only takes one good bullet to deal with issues like this."

Jason does surge forward at that, and the henchmen at either side of him force him back down to his knees.

Falcone just laughs. "Ah, ah, hot shot," he knocks back the safety and Jason's ears start to ring, "wouldn't want your partner to spill their brains everywhere. Not when we haven't had any real fun."

You still look so calm. Even as he thrashes and writhes against the men holding him down, you're kneeling like there's not a thing wrong. Like your life doesn't hang in the balance, like just one twitch of Falcones finger wouldn't take away the person Jason needs most.

All his training, all his skills and reflexes, all has come down to nothing. Because he can't save you. He can't stop the cruel smiles that form on the thugs around you. He can't find a way to cross the room and get to you before the trigger gets pulled.

"Don't shoot," he snaps out, all the panic and fear he's feeling filtered out through the helmet in a false bravado, "Aren't they more useful alive?"

Falcone scoffs and kicks you again, "Neither of you are useful."

"I could be," Jason promises. He could be. He could be anything to keep you safe, "I used to run more territory in Gotham than you've ever seen. I have an in with The Bat. I'm the best at what I do, and you know it."

Interest speaks in Falcones' eyes. Good. He should be focused on Red Hood. He should be lowering that gun a fraction of an inch. He should consider everything Jason would do for you. The lines he would cross. The people he'd hurt. He'd change the world to get you home safe.

Falcone lowers the gun completely. Jason wants to be relieved, but you still have other guns trained on you. You're still in danger.

Falcone takes a step closer to him, "Alright, Hood, I'm in a good mood tonight. So, let's make a deal. You tell me who Batman is, maybe do me a few favors, and you and your partner are free to go."

"They leave first, and then we talk," Jason counters. As if he'd risk you getting shot.

Faclone tuts and points his gun back towards you, "That's not how this works, son."

Red Hood stiffens. He doesn't feel like a hero right now, he rarely ever does. But in this moment, he's weak. Pathetic. He has one chance to keep you safe, and he's going to take it. Jason opens his mouth to speak.

Glass shatters and smoke fills the room. Instinct kicks in and Jason's thrown off the men holding him down before Falcone even has a chance to bark out orders. Nothing else matters but getting his hands on you.

There's yelling. None he recognizes. He breaks more bones than he has in weeks. Blood splatters onto his armor.

When the smoke finally starts to clear, Jason scans the room desperately. Every single goon is knocked unconscious on the floor. Falcone's in handcuffs, limp on the floor.

He's lucky that Red Robin and Spoiler got to him first. Jason is more than inclined to remind him why Red Hood was the most powerful crime lord Gotham's ever known.

"Hey-" your voice cuts into his darker thoughts. Jason doesn't hesitate to move towards you and grab your waist with both hands, tugging you against him.

He scans your face, "Are you hurt?" He's frantic, his hands hold you just a little too tight, he's crowding your space. Jason's aware of all of this, but he only pulls you closer.

"I'm okay. I'm not hurt. Are you?" You say, pressing your hands to the leather of his jacket.

His shoulders slump and he drops his head to rest his face plate against your forehead, "I'm– fine." He takes a moment, a selfish minute to focus on your breathing.

He pulls back to nod towards Spoiler and Red Robin, "We're leaving." Jason doesn't bother to check if they acknowledge him, only pulls you along to the balcony.

He's more shaken than he wants to admit. He needs to get both of you out of here, somewhere safe. You follow him willingly, don't say a word until he's led you all the way home to your apartment.

You don't try to talk him out of anything, not when he pulls you onto his lap and holds you close. You let him toss his helmet to the ground and hide his face in your shoulder.

Jason's not sure how long it stays like that. Your armor digs into his skin. He's sure his own suit is doing the same. You play with the ends of his hair. He tries to keep his heartbeat steady.

Jason nearly convinces himself that both of you are safe. That it's going to be okay. He almost believes it until you speak up.

"Were you going to tell him?" You ask quietly, so softly he might have missed it if his every sense wasn't trained on you.

"Tell him?" He mumbles in your neck. Jason knows exactly what you're talking about. But he's stalling. There's no way to really answer.

You don't respond. He doesn't answer.

Of course, he was going to tell him. Of course, he was going to put everyone they've ever cared about or loved in danger.

You know that. You have to know that if you don't ask again. There's not a thing he wouldn't give to keep you alive, to keep you happy and healthy and safe.

He'd trade any secret, commit any atrocity, betray everyone who ever trusted him, all for you. But how can he put that into words? He can't. Doesn't know how. And you don't deserve the burden of that. He can't lay something so heavy at your feet.

He holds you tighter instead. The silence is answer enough.

[whytheballs-mars]

some creatures i drew. based on kelley jones' version of batman. i gave him clawed feet/boots. references i used below

yeah i used actual bats as a reference for the batman poses. what else did you expect

[whytheballs-mars]

virgin!Jason series now, pretty, pretty please

PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING

PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU FOR MORE MOMMY KINK JASON 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Or even better….virgin mommy kink Jason. I just need more.

virgin!jason who cums in his boxers at the feeling of your ass grinding on top of his clothed dick deliciously, your teeth nipping at his neck. its the third date, and he’s wondering how he got this far; a pretty girl on his lap, in his apartment on a Thursday night. its your fingers that send him over the edge, worming their way into his shirt and using your acrylics to scratch at his abs and pecs before gently squeezing his nipples.

virgin!jason who loves giving head, so much so that he’ll overstim you if you let him. it took him a second or two to learn the mechanics, but since hes an expert in reading your body language, it took only a few tries to become a master at making you fall apart. he’s a menace, using his musculature to pry your legs open with a hungry glint in his green eyes. “i just want one more, mama,” he pouts, pressing wet kisses to inner thighs, “can’t i get one more from ya? please, mommy?”

virgin!jason who cannot shut the fuck up when his dick is inside you. you’re bouncing to your own rhythm, plush brown hips increasing in speed as you chase your our high. “yeah, mmff—yeah, yeah,” he whines, each word punctuating the smack of your ass onto his hips, “mmfffuck, take what you need, mama.” as he approaches his high, your speed grows faster and he bucks up into you, whining, “fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, baby… mmyeah, just like that, gonna make me fuckin’ cum.”

virgin!jason who cries when you give him head the first few times. its the one sexual act that you gain no pleasure from, so its a marvel to him that you’d be so happy to do it. He’d always start the same, saying “love, you know you don’t hav’ta— oh fuck, mommy,” he never lets you finish him off that way, always pulling you up before he reaches his peak. something or other about “gotta make you feel good too, mama.”

mmmyeah virgin!jason !!! so yummy !

[whytheballs-mars]

america's sweetheart olympian 🥇