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I am the marinade in which God soaks His fury

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"never bite the COCK that feeds you" I think to myself in bed, snickering. With such witty wordplay I'm content knowing that my space in the sixth grade boys social order is secure for another day.

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The clitoris is the Devil's Uvula

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Not to be problematic on main but I want to pretend my mouth is a stapler as I it clamps down on someone's inverted nipple

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As a feminist I won't be able to rest until someone starts selling gamer boi bath water, but as an elite gamer myself who understands His Brothers I respect the musk of gaming and that any true elite would rather die than lose it

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Uh-oh, son. Looks like your old man just had a Paul Blart Mall Shart! Hahahahaha call your mother and tell her it happened again; I will hide in the JC Penney

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Why does it sound like someone is playing ping-pong every time I jerk my gerk?

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Hey boys, why don't we head back to my place... My pussy tastes like gaming.

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Organize? More like orgin-ASM, am I right ladies?

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"it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" and "ignorance is bliss" are mutually exclusive

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Me *walking into Claire's with a hot glue gun*

If god continues to tally my sins after today it will be little more than an effort in redundancy

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Nurse, where's my baby?

Follow me, she's in the back

Whatever *names my firstborn daughter Amontillado*

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Whatever *names my firstborn daughter Amontillado*

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*her* keep fucking with me and I'll pick your nose with my tongue

*me* i didn't trim my nose hair, so do it, I dare you!

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Wyd= Whore Your Door

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Cotton Hill: *exists*

Me: *takes off shoes and socks so that Cotton Hill has some place to plant his flag"

Me: girls who suck dick don’t have any self respect or-

Polar bear from Aggretsuko: *exists*

Me: *drops to my knees so hard that my legs break off, resulting in me needing the same no shin surgery as Cotton Hill*

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Me: girls who suck dick don't have any self respect or-

Polar bear from Aggretsuko: *exists*

Me: *drops to my knees so hard that my legs break off, resulting in me needing the same no shin surgery as Cotton Hill*