winnetou-oldshatterhand

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

old shatterhand really is one of the characters of all time. one of his favorite activities is pretending he's not old shatterhand. he out-mary-sues most mary sues. when he was a teenager his nickname was "sappho". he canonically has pretty hands and doesn't care about the REAL MEN EAT ROCKS NEVER WASH AND ARE GIGANTIC gender norms. when he goes on an adventure he brings glasses and a telescope and a sewing kit (somehow all in his pockets) with him. he is the "we're selling giving you away to some Famous People without asking you! have fun!" trope. also the "goes to a new place and the Coolest Guy Ever immediately falls in love with him" trope. he's literally so in love with his best friend that they canonically don't even have to be in the same place and they'll still act in harmony with each other, and he forgets not everyone can read said friend's mind. also before they actually became friends the other guy tried to kill him many times but that still didn't stop OS from thinking about him lovingly 90% of the time. whenever somebody is making fun of him in a skillful way he goes "i like this guy :)". he pretends to not be himself so often that other people should at this point just assume that if something looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck and smells like a duck, it's probably old shatterhand dressed as a duck. when he was a teen he wrote a poem that was so good all his friends learned it by heart and years later he is still meeting random people who know it somehow. he's the most annoying celebrity ever. he goes to Very Dangerous places to search for cool plants and stones and bugs.

these books have so many many flaws but sometimes i want to study this guy under a microscope like a bug

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Trick or treat :)

Treat! Here's a cat I'm currently cat-sitting!

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Do you see them as a QPR?

QPR Definition:

"Queerplatonic relationships (QPR), also known as queerplatonic partnerships (QPP), are committed intimate relationships between significant others whose relationship is not romantic in nature."

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

I think you're looking for Satan & Ischariot part 2 - it's a trilogy so maybe just start at the beginning!

hello! im searching for a specific book by karl may and was wondering if any of you could help me? im looking for the one where winnetou comes to germany (i remember one specific scene where karel is in choir practice when winnetou comes in). i never finished it as a child and got reminded of karl may a few weeks back and really want to finish it. id really appreciate your help with finding the title

@winnetou-oldshatterhand @homovulcanensis @myzetauniverse @romanticbastards

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

*shows up three months late to the party with some hot drinks*

I've got a few actors who could play a pretty good Old Shatterhand but I always get stuck on Winnetou myself. Probably in part because Winnetou should be played by a native American/indigenous actor and I don't know that many of those...

Also fanfics - I mostly write in German because I read the books in German so can't recommend a lot of mine unless with Google translate, sorry! Still got a few WIPs on my laptop that I swear I will finish eventually but well... Full time work plus commute makes finding the time to write really hard when you prefer writing on your laptop at home.

Deep in my Jude Law obsession right now and also relistening to Winnetou audiobooks and I feel like he would make a great Old Shatterhand.

Maybe not now but in 2010 he would be perfect. I think his portrayal of John Watson in films with Robert Downey Jr. gives the same vibe. Not really sure who would be a great Winnetou.

Also, not many fanfics out there I know the books are gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide, however, I would appreciate any and all recommendations in English, Czech or Slovak.

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Does anybody have a good (online) source for the Chiricahua/Mescalero Apache language? The only dictionaries I can find have like 20 words in them...

I need it for reasons.

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Listen. Lex Barker is an icon. He played the protagonist role of Old Shatterhand in a series of movie adaptations of the classic German Karl May books, and he did it well.

Propaganda

Fredric March (Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, I Married a Witch)—no propaganda submitted

Lex Barker (Tarzan's Magic Fountain, The Price of Fear)—no propaganda submitted

This is round 1 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Yes. I'm still waiting for an adaptation where they kiss to greet each other and say goodbye.

Or one that portrays Winnetou's descriptions accurately, focusing on his luscious locks and kissable lips lol

Just. The fact that I need to make the original novels less gay in order to write gay fanfic.

Brought to you by me wanting them to pine while being separated in the books and not, as in canon, kiss. This is now a kiss on the cheek. They will pine.

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Just. The fact that I need to make the original novels less gay in order to write gay fanfic.

Brought to you by me wanting them to pine while being separated in the books and not, as in canon, kiss. This is now a kiss on the cheek. They will pine.

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Uhh, I love this - but when do we set it?

1) OS in Germany or traveling and Winnetou in the West feels like it might be comedic but really Winnetou (in OS' body) would probably be tossed into a hospital or prison for like. Forgetting how to speak German without an accent at the very least, while Old Shatterhand would be just fine in the West, though rather anxious.

2) while they're on some adventure together. That'd probably go pretty smoothly honestly. Some westmen might be confused why Winnetou is more chatty than OS but I reckon they're close enough that they could mimic each other convincingly enough to not really wind up in a lot of trouble. I feel like this would be more of an adventure fic trying to solve the bodyswap, maybe by getting some McGuffin back from white robbers.

3) While they're both separated in the West but within reach of each other, on their way to meeting up or having temporarily split up. They'd both have to figure out what situation the other was actually in and how to get out and so on. One fun option to set this at might be early in Winnetou 2 (and I swear I'm not just saying that because I love the book) - they meet up in Matagorda, do the cryptic reunion where neither of them tells the other what they're up to due to secrets, and maybe Winnetou was transporting something, so they wake up the next morning in all new bodies. They can only exchange the quickest of hints on the ship before the rowdies try to hang them. Winnetou has to deal with Old Death and the Ku Klux Klan, Old Shatterhand has to try and find a solution for the Comanches (and likely be the one to order them all killed) - I see potential there.

Any opinions? Other suggestions?

AU were Winnetou and OS switch souls and wake up on each other's bodies for an entire week.

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Pretty sure that was my fanfic - I reread an old version of the third book and decided to use the inspiration. Unless someone else had the same idea, but yeah, fleshing out a mention of a story from the book into the full story here.

me doing nothing:

sharlihs recounting of the gore the bear made out of that guy that one time:

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

There was, in fact, an attempt. This is so messy, but hey, I drew it.

The reason I don't draw Winnetou nearly as much as Old Shatterhand is because I never know what clothing to put on him. He's dressed as a completely different tribe in the movie.

So, fun facts: the Mescaleros mostly wore cotton instead of leather by the 19th century, men wore their hair at shoulder length, and the tribe didn't really wear the stereotyped feather headdress (although other nations did). Apaches were also extra antagonistic against the white colonizers (who could blame them), which is probably why white writers tended to portray them as evil villains in their novels. They also consider snakes to be a bad omen and direct eye contact to be disrespectful, although I'm not sure if I read that paragraph correctly.

(Turns out the tribe has their official website)

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

More stuff! The day finally came; I drew Old Shatterhand with the beard he's supposed to have.

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

I made stuff!

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Alright! Everybody please reblog this with/comment your nationality (if you're comfortable doing so), because looking at just where May's books have reached fascinates me to no end.

I'm Czech!

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Absolutely, it's the "benevolent" racism. You can also see it in the "Oh it's such a shame that the native cultures are being eradicated and weren't given the time to evolve to our level".

As in white people are inherently better but look at how much they try. It's patronising. It feels like praising a small child for their art (unrecognisable scribbles)

I intended to write this in a comment, but alas, it did not fit. For once, I am going to get critical, because this has made my skin crawl since I was a child.

Have you noticed how oftentimes, people of colour (this mainly applies to black people, although other races might receive this treatment as well) are described as smart?

And yet, when you gather the context—their actions, how they interact with the world and with others—you realize that "smart", in that context, does not mean "a person of noteworthy intelligence", no. The character in question is average, slow, even, but they are a person of colour.

And the narrative labels them as smart. As if being capable of speech (often broken, perhaps as a misguided effort to capture dialect) and following directions (or not, if a comical scene is required) is somehow an accomplishment.

(Wow, he can act like a human—he's so smart for a black man!)

Do you see it too? Exhibit A: Bob from The Son of the Bear Hunter, The Ghost of Llano Estacado and Old Surehand I.

[winnetou-oldshatterhand]

Oh yes the scene with a big rock and a lot of sand is certainly incredibly memorable XD

I'm seconding that recommendation.

I'm strangely taken by the idea of Charley singing sea shanties.

I know he's mostly painted as an introvert in the books, but I like to imagine him as the sort of man that can find human connection almost anywhere. On his voyages, he has probably met hundreds of sailors, and even befriended some—does anybody here know of Turnerstick?—so I don't think it's out of pocket to think he probably knows a lot of shanties.