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[witchystefcraft]

[witchystefcraft]

Recently, I have been on a new journey of self care, and how that word is defined by me. I find myself wanting to be a better version of myself, mentally. What is my purpose in life? What does it mean to truly be happy? Are these questions I should already know the answer to?

Through this new journey that I am on, I found myself drawn the witchcraft. I found myself seeing glimpses of happiness. I imagined what it would be like to love myself and appreciate the world around me.

I believe I am a novice witch.

Just the very small amount of information I’ve learned so far, has given me so much passion.. so much.. PURPOSE. I see life in a whole new perspective.

Three nights ago, it was raining. It was definitely almost time for me to fall asleep, when I started to hear the rain pour. Even though I had been smoking weed ever since I got home from work that day, even though I was high out of my mind and the last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed, I (which looking back, I am so grateful for) fed into my urge to grab a tiny glass jar off my altar, stand in the rain, and fill the jar up with as much rain water as I could before I got too cold from the piercing rain water. I had the strongest feeling that I NEEDED it. It was almost midnight. I didn’t care if I looked insane. And he stood right by my side as I collected it.

Through this journey, I’ve come to the realization of just how long I have been sad. Empty. Living my life with no purpose. And I feel like I can finally start to see it. Through this journey, there has to be hope. There HAS to be, right?

I’m seeing life from my third eye. Things are starting to make more sense.

I followed my intuition. Not only about starting my journey of a witchcraft (which I am still in the very early stages of), but for a specific example, in that moment, I collected the rain water.

Everything I learn, I have the most pure and good intentions. Everything I do, I want to put the most positive energy into.

I knew the rain water needed to be cleansed.

Now, yes.. I know what you’re thinking…it may seem very simply to Google- “how do i cleanse rainwater i have collected (in a tiny jar) with witchcraft?”

See. Simple, yeah?

Well guess what? It’s not…

I’ll google it right now and show you the results:

First thing to pop up is… “HOW TO MAKE MOON WATER”.

And one day… I do in fact want to know how to be able to make moon water, BUT… that wasn’t particularly the answer to my original question.

Everyone will go down a different path.

I need to be educated more of witchcraft history.

I officially started my witchcraft journey about a month ago. I am not an expert. I have so much passion to learn more. I see potential in myself reaching my fullest form. I want to unapologetically be MYSELF.

I wish I could be my true self with my family. I know I could never tell my dad about who I am. What I am. He wouldn’t understand.

I am pansexual.

I wish I could tell my mom. I wish I could’ve told my grandma. I wish I could tell my sister. I have a feeling my brother may know.

I want to feel safe. And as long as a can keep my secret, I will be. As long as I’m able to be my true self with my partner (JOSEPH), I will be okay.

Joseph, you’ve given me so much purpose. I LOVE YOU.

I explore my sexuality online. I have found outlets that allow me to express my sexuality. Through this outlet, I have met a soul who is also learning witchcraft.

I learned how to cleanse my jar of rain water today. But before this moment today, I had an intuition to light an incense that night I collected the rain water..

PATCHOULI (for protection).

And although I can’t remember how long I did it for, or what rotation I did it in, I lit the incense. I watched the flame build onto the tip of the scented stick of protection.

DO NOT BLOW OUT THE FLAME.

Shake out the sparked flame instead. Do it with good intentions.

I followed my strong, intuitive feeling and twirled the scented stick around my jar of rain water.

It is today, approved 72 hours later, that my question, from that soul I have met, that you can indeed use smoke magic as a way to cleanse. Next time, I know now that the scented stick, needs to be twirled counter clockwise to release all the negative energy.

After the flame was diminished, patchouli scented smoke filled the air. The stream of smoke from the stick never fails to amaze me. IT IS BEAUTIFUL.

I find myself forming a new question I hope to find the answer for myself soon-

Now, is this moon water?

THIS CANNOT BE A COINCIDENCE.

I’ve always been drawn to writing. I don’t think I’ve ever been good at it… but I can’t help but to be feeling such fascination… such.. PLEASURE.

I was a teenager when I created this account. A CHILD. I had such a hard time growing up. I had such a difficult time expressing how I felt (and to this day, as I write this, I still struggle with the same issue as I did then).

“WHY?”, she asked.

“TRAUMA.”, I answered.

I think she would be so happy. If I could’ve seen, as that little girl, that girl FILLED with so much sadness, that we’d be married. I wish in that lifetime, I could’ve saw that we can be open and out of the closet with your partner (that you meet at 19). I wish she could’ve seen (TO FEEL) the glimpses of happiness we are feeling these days. But, I DO.. I can FEEL it!

Through this journey, I will treat her better.

SHE WILL BE SAFE!

And she will be LOVED.

She.. will… FEEL..

LOVED!

When I was her (a child), I can remember the feeling of how drawn she was towards writing. Expressing what she felt on paper.

I’m experiencing that very fascination today. On this late night-

I am 22.

I am an ADULT now.

Yes.

We made it.

That sad, little girl-

MADE IT.

She lived.

She’s ALIVE.

How can someone so young, so small.. so…

innocent.. want to die?

For SO LONG..

i wanted to die.

I wish I had all of the things I’ve ever written. I wish it was all kept away..

- maybe in a box perhaps?

I want to record my journey. I want to write my own definition down of what it really means to be a witch.

I am not evil.

I want nothing, but to feel happiness and positive energy.

Everything happened (happens) for a reason.

My whole life, I have struggled with negative thoughts towards my self image (the way that I looked).

That little girl, she felt so hideous, so misunderstood. She went to consoling as a kid in high school. She went almost THREE whole years consecutively.

That little girl, was told to picture herself in the mirror. She was asked, “WHAT DO YOU SEE?” by her counselor.

That little girl, she was told to close her eyes, and imagine herself in the mirror.

PICTURE IT!

Her eyes flooded with tears. She TRIED!

She tried to describe the “GROSS” image that was blinding her mind. Her words were muffled.

She really tried.

I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth.

SHE WAS DISGUSTED!

I wish.. I wish I could shake that sad little girl! I wish she could see, what I see today.

she is so happy.

Or, at least much.. MUCH more happier than that little girl.

I have an altar.

and it is.. so… BEAUTIFUL!

I feel energy RADIATING from it-

Positive energy.

and that little girl today, she is inspired.

I can SEE it..

I can.. FEEL it…

She is indeed, magical.

[witchystefcraft]

Books are full of words You flips through and all you see is words And we try to relate to those words What's if the book is empty? Then do we try to relate our pitiful lives to something empty? Who am I, To look at these empty pages and cry? There is so much beauty to the book, but I sat there and cried, about the empty pages Somehow I related to the empty pages There's a book, full of words Then when I flipped to the end, There was simply empty pages So, who am I... empty pages?

[witchystefcraft]

Stress and anxiety It eats away at me And I overthink everything

[witchystefcraft]

Colored pages Not-so finished pages Blank pages

[witchystefcraft]

Tethered

It’s difficult for Me to be happy when you Are so unhappy.

[witchystefcraft]

Beautiful

Life is beautiful The creases in my curtains, Are beautiful The way my lamp reflects ref light, Is beautiful

Life is beautiful The sky was a deep blue color And it was so beautiful The trees looked dead But they were still beautiful

Life is beautiful Walking through the hallway, It’s beautiful So many different people and faces Everyone is beautiful

Life is beautiful Everything I didn’t notice before, Becomes beautiful I see life differently And it’s beautiful

Life is beautiful Whether it’s big or small, It’ll always be beautiful I don’t want to lose myself Because I am beautiful

[witchystefcraft]

[witchystefcraft]

Serenity

[witchystefcraft]

your heart is gold

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And we're right back to the start again

[witchystefcraft]

Surround yourself with items and people that make you feel carefree

[witchystefcraft]

Choose to be a happier person

[witchystefcraft]

Find your happy place

[witchystefcraft]

Art

[witchystefcraft]

I want a perfect body with a perfect soul

[witchystefcraft]

Let’s be honest, I’m just always gonna be that girl that know one knows about. I’m never gonna be the popular girl. I’m never gonna be the pretty girl. I’m not gonna have a bunch of different options of friends. I’ll never have a ton of cute boys to want me. I’m not exciting or out there. I’m just another face in the crowd. I could literally fall off the edge of the earth and no one would notice or really care.