writingmyrandomthoughts

[writingmyrandomthoughts]

This eyes I once knew are gone. Those beautiful brown eyes are as dark as coal. Those eyes that told me everything I know. How I could tell if it was a bad day, the eyes that told me the answer on how to take the pain away. The ever so loving eyes I once knew are gone, they ran away from me and found another soul to love for eternity

[writingmyrandomthoughts]

I have been so many places and seen not one face that reminds me of yours. Because you are home. Or you were home, before you burned down the house with your lies while I was still sleeping inside .

[writingmyrandomthoughts]

I want to be happy for you I really do, but I can't. I don't want to be bitter anymore but you broke me, tore me to shreds and I'm still recovering from it 5 years later. Being happy for you is something I can't do but when you ask me I'll just smile and say I am

[writingmyrandomthoughts]

Hey, it's me. Well I guess you know who I am but just letting you know it's me. But um I know we haven't talked in a while and our relationship isn't the best but I really need you. I mean you were there through it all, the long nights crying, the horrible pain, the surgeries and the weight gain. You stuck with me through it all, and I kind of drifted away from you. I guess I just needed time to myself. I mean we talked every now and then. But it's not the same I guess. I know you're there for me, and I cry even knowing you aren't leaving but it's hard you know? It's hard to keep it going when you don't know where to go. But yeah dude I guess I just want to ask you to stick around, you know I'm not really good with these type of things so I guess that's why we didn't talk for a while….. well I'll let you go, so until next time and hey, thanks for loving me. It means a lot - my prayer to God

[writingmyrandomthoughts]

Giving up

What do you do when you feel less than able, when all you want to do is end your life by hanging from a cable, when all you want to do is make sure your body is not breathing, although you are supposed to be thankful this season. How do you walk away from something so dumb, how do you officially say that’s it I’m done. Are you supposed to give something you’re all, when all you’re doing is constantly dropping the ball. How can I give up with dying but also keep trying. Do I give up while praying on my knees or do I give up by hanging from a tree.

[writingmyrandomthoughts]

Growing up I never had a lot, only my mind and my thoughts,as time moved on I began to see that these thoughts I had weren’t supposed to be. The older I grew the darker the thoughts would become until one day they almost won. After that day I vowed to put those thoughts away but everyday there’s a inch of those thoughts that stay. I’ve conquered the highs and lows all the way through but I never