x3nawr1tes

[x3nawr1tes]

— emails i can't send ⋆˚࿔

synopsis: [name] never confesses and spills their emotions into an unsent email.

backstory: graduation and summer break has passed and it's time to see oikawa off to pursue his dreams. even after years of friendship, you continued to hide your true feelings towards him, the only evidence of your crime being an ever-growing email doomed to sit in your drafts until the end of time.

contains: fem!reader x oikawa. mentions of iwaizumi, hanamaki, and matsukawa. angst, unresolved feelings, not really any comfort. NOT PROOFREAD! maybe will write a pt. 2

note: pt2. know i said i wouldn’t be writing angst and it's not a lotg update.. but i was bored at 2 am listening to my “tears in my asian eyes” playlist (pls tell me u get the reference).

if you could wish for one thing, it would be to go back in time. probably to the beginning of high school, back when you met oikawa in biology class. the desks were organized into neat columns, two desks next to each other. much to your dismay at the time, it was assigned seating, meaning you didn’t get to sit next to your middle school friends.

much to your enjoyment, you got to sit next to oikawa. he was a pretty face, there wasn’t any denying that. though it got annoying, the number of girls that would come up to your shared desk. they would ask oikawa for help, ask him about volleyball, ask him anything to talk to him. what was worse was when they’d have the audacity to give you dirty looks, like you chose to sit there.

oikawa, to his credit, deflected it as much as he could. while he loved to talk about himself and his volleyball adventures, he would do his best to keep it to a minimum. every “oikawa, can you help me? i don’t understand the problem” was met with a “oh, you should ask [name], she’s been helping me get through our assignment packet” (even if he had finished it in the first 10 minutes of class). the two of you didn’t truly talk to each other until 2 months into the semester. 

it was a group project, one about ecosystems and how the smallest change could have the most detrimental effects on everything around it. the project, even as simple as it sounded, was taking days for the two of you. it was another tuesday, the two of you flipping through the textbook and adding whatever information on wetland ecosystems you could to the document.

“hey, why don’t you come over? well, after my practice, if you’re okay with waiting,” oikawa asked. it wasn’t the first time the two of you talked, the two of you shared polite small talk all the time. this was different.

“ah, sure. when does your practice run until? i can wait in the library until you’re finished.”

a small change, one that would have detrimental effects.

that project was the beginning of it all, the unlikely friendship between tooru oikawa and [name]. the two of you only grew closer from that day on. on days he had practice, you would wait in the library and leave a few minutes early to meet him outside the gym doors. on days he didn’t, the two of you would walk to get food, look around in the convenience store, or hang out and play games at one of your houses.

it wasn’t a surprise that you became acquainted with his teammates and closest friends. if iwaizumi wasn’t scolding oikawa for overworking or his childish behavior, he was often quietly working on his own homework or finding something to get under oikawa’s skin. matsukawa and hanamaki, while present, weren’t around nearly as much as iwaizumi and oikawa were. they would join for your dinner outings at a ramen stop, telling you how oikawa owed them a bowl of noodles for messing up his serves. 

it became a routine; class together, walking home together, messaging each other about nonsense. it was peaceful, predictable even. it was comfortable. until it wasn’t.

oikawa didn’t come to class, telling you that he had a fever. if it wasn’t for iwaizumi, there was no doubt that oikawa would try to come to school and practice that day. the duty of picking up his missed assignments and dropping them off was obviously left on you, though matsukawa, hanamaki, and iwaizumi offered to do it for you.

“you know, you two act like a couple,” matsukawa commented jokingly, before waving goodbye to you as the three headed to the gym. the words ran through your head, repeating over and over. you two act like a couple. is that how everyone saw the two of you? is that how oikawa saw you?

you quickly dropped off the assignments with the excuse that you had a paper that you had forgotten to do. when you arrived back home, you shut the door, sunk to the floor, reevaluating the past couple of months. 

the smallest changes could have the most detrimental effects. 

processing it was hard. you avoided oikawa until you couldn’t. when that didn’t work, you did what you could and pretended. you had to, you could envision how that conversation would go in your mind. the worst part was knowing you could have had a chance. 

second year rolled around, the two of you followed the same routine. class, practice, walk home together, repeat. he was the one who broke that routine.

he had met another girl, someone from his math class. soon, you started seeing him less. he would walk home with his girlfriend, meet her after practice, practically spent any free time he had with her. you texted less frequently, having swapped out your days with oikawa for time spent with hanamaki and matsukawa, with iwaizumi making the occasional appearance. you had spent so much time with the duo that you had adopted the nicknames oikawa gave them. the only time you and oikawa saw and talked to each other was during your chemistry class, working on labs together and pretending that everything was okay, that everything was normal between the two of you.

it was a painful year but when it was over, summer was a little more freeing. you spent your summer days working, hanging with makki and matsu, dancing around and avoiding the topic of your 1.5 year long crush. they saw right through you, though they were kind enough. even when it was obvious that they didn’t believe your “we’re just friends” statements, they wouldn’t say anything. it was makki’s off comment that gave you the idea, saying he saw something like it in some romcom. “unrequited feelings are rough, i remember seeing some show with a girl where the main character would write letters to her crushes. wonder if that actually helps at all.” that night, you spilled your heart and feelings into an email, one that was addressed to oikawa’s, though you would only ever hit save instead of send.

third year was when you found your rhythm again. it became easier, you didn’t have any classes with oikawa. it became easier to forget him, to forget your feelings for him. you spent most of your time studying, preparing for entrance exams and applying to colleges out of the country. it was almost perfect.

until he showed up on your doorstep one evening. 

“she broke up with me.” that was enough to ruin it all.

he spent that evening over, talking about it all. he didn’t cry though he didn’t smile. “i didn’t know who else to go to about this,” he spoke out of no where, as if he could read the confusion on your face. the night bled into morning, the two of you spending it all just talking. hours upon hours, you learned the story from his perspective. even with all the envy, all you could do was be supportive. listen to his words, his “thank you for still being around.” even if you thought that maybe, just maybe, you could push down the feelings and pretend they weren’t there, you were doomed from the second the two of you innocently fell asleep next to each other. it had seemed the exhaustion of the night caught up to the two of you. even then, when you awoke, he had carried you to your bed and covered you with a blanket. he was no where to be seen.

how couldn’t you when you spent the past 2 years quietly in love with him? there was no way of outing it, instead you sent him a simple text message.

“i’ll always be around for you, tooru.” maybe he didn’t know the true weight those words held but you did. your tear-stained pillowcase did. makki, matsu, anyone who saw you would know the true weight those words held. your email knew the true weight those words held.

graduation flew by, the two of you spending summer doing all the things you never got to do in high school. amusement parks, spending a weekend in tokyo, beach days, everything and anything you could imagine. it wasn’t until you were sitting on the hood of his car, stargazing with him that he told you something that broke your peaceful illusion.

“i’m going to argentina by the end of summer, i’m gonna be a pro player. just like josé blanco.”

after that, it was all a blur. seconds became minutes, hours became days. you found yourself revisiting your email, the glow of the screen illuminating your face in the darkness of your room. it had grown in length, with every time you visited it. the declaration of your feelings grew every time, with every word and sentence you wrote, detailing your emotions. every day, you contemplated telling him. makki, matsu, and even iwaizumi told you that you should. you always said the same things: “he doesn’t reciprocate those feelings. even if he did, it’ll only hold him back.” they knew, though, a confession wouldn’t change anything. it was too late, anyways.

the four of you were at the airport, seeing the star setter off. off to follow his dreams, to become a bigger name than miyagi could provide for him. after hugs and goodbyes, he didn’t look back once.

and it was almost like everyone could hear your heart break for the first time. no more chances, no more tooru oikawa. it was just [name], the side of that tooru oikawa never had the luck of seeing, and that year-old email, rotting away in your unsent folder. even as the tears flowed, it wasn’t oikawa comforting you. it was matsu’s hug, iwaizumi’s reassuring pats, and makki’s words of “it’ll be okay.” 

that night, the remains of your third year group spent the night at iwaizumi’s. a movie night with junk food, all meant to comfort you. it was hard to dance around the issue; they were fully aware of what was at stake and what was lost that day. you had fallen asleep on the couch, matsu having gently placed a blanket over you. makki and iwaizumi were looking over the email, the three of them softly discussing it.

tooru,

it’s pathetic, i know you’d be so disappointed in me for writing this in an email instead of telling you to your face. i can even hear your voice: “you should’ve just told me [name] chan!” 

i think i’ve liked you for a while, it started somewhere between our routine of walking home after practice. it didn’t help that i would always go to your games, cheering you on. i think i could hear my heart explode when you would wave to me before your serves, seeing you smile after every hard earned point.

i told myself that it was pointless, that you were too focused on volleyball. maybe i should’ve taken the chance, maybe things would be different. i know it’s selfish but sometimes, i wish you were around more in our second year. i got over you, or i thought i did. seeing you on my doorstep at 2 AM though, i was doomed from the start. i remember us falling asleep on my floor that morning, waking up in the late afternoon as if nothing happened. you were still the tooru oikawa that i knew and loved. maybe that’s what made it so hard to tell you. i didn’t want to ruin the stability we had.

i’m proud of you for going to argentina, i can’t wait to see you on the big screen. i know you’ll make all of us proud here. i just wish i could’ve gone with you, shared some chapter of your grand story standing by your side. 

to my first love.

“if only she had sent it, maybe things would’ve been different,” makki spoke. he set your phone down on the table, the light dimming from the infrequent use. “it’s a shame neither one of them could see it too, they were doomed from the start.”

because it was true. even if neither of you were aware of it, you truly did love oikawa. you loved his dedication, his immaturity, his thoughtfulness, and all of his flaws. his flaws were what made him perfect to you. the reverse was true though; oikawa loved your kindness and empathetic side. from the day he introduced you to his teammates, he loved that you made the effort to get to know them. he would always joke that they were trying to steal you from him. that night had changed everything for him but he was scared of the change it might bring between you two.

so he stayed silent. to everyone but iwaizumi. as much as he pushed you two, he knew the situation was growing hopeless. oikawa’s eyes were set on making a name for himself, you were set on not getting hurt. in his succession, you found yourself losing. he picked up your phone, reading and rereading the email, before fumbling with the device and setting it back down.

it’s a shame you didn’t send it sooner.

[x3nawr1tes]

+12 hrs

timeskip!oikawa tooru x fem!reader

When sweet young lovers crumble apart due to dreams and frayed paths, with things left unsaid meet 7 years after their breakup. Does time truly heal?

slight slowburn, angst, fluff, exes that can't move on from each other, slow love, oikawa being a yearner

13.8k words, harassment (not by Oikawa), foul language

Oikawa Tooru, a smart, popular, athletic guy in class 6 which was truly surprising considering he seemed to divulge his time more in volleyball. Y/n, admired him-- not in that way, yet at least, she liked ambition and hardworking and Oikawa Tooru embodied that.

You attended one of their matches back then in your 2nd year as you were invited by one of your friends who highly recommended to go to watch gawk at guys from the Shiratorizawa team. You saw Oikawa then, each kiss of his palm on the ball carried his blood, sweat and tears. He had a desperation unlike no other in that court. You liked that more than anything about a guy.

However, when that match concluded she was disappointed-- not because Aoba Johsai lost but a glimpse of wavering faith passes his eyes. Annoyance, she noticed that too. A familiar feeling you've known yourself. Knowing that someone out there better than you knowing you've worked harder more than anyone else, but when you were handed with bad cards; what choice do you have but do your best with them?

You walked away before Shiratorizawa even received their medals and whatnot, there was nothing more to see but Oikawa's obvious frustration on his face. He was familiar, not because they've been at the same class since first year but because she felt the same way as he did. You pitied him, no, you felt for him. You prayed for him silently, to go learn to get through it like you did.

Oikawa felt a piercing glare throughout the match, not because at least 200 people were on the stands watching but a certain glare of judgement that irked him. He felt like every piece of him was being watched, unpacked and carefully inspected.

Then, when he looked at that direction, he saw that girl who seemed to be in competition with everyone else in the class even though no one was truly a part of that but her. The girl that has 8 hours of volunteering every week at a local hospital, the girl that had her nose buried in a book despite lunch time, the girl that the teacher came to when no one else could answer that differentiation with trigonometric functions on the board or when no one bothered to put their hand up to solve the pH of a buffer solution. He didn't like her nosy eyes.

He hated that, Iwaizumi was the only exception for those type of gazes and no one else. Maybe his girlfriend of two months but it'll still piss him off. No one could possibly understand him, only his dear Iwa-chan understood him almost perfectly.

At the start of third year, Oikawa broke up with his girlfriend. Of course he shed a few tears here and there, but after two weeks he was himself again. He was not even 18 yet, too young to spend another minute crying and too young to waste his time on an incompatible relationship.

He was in the same class as you again, you were sat in the first row, window seat, and sat in front of him. It gave him the perfect view to inspect you, hate you a little more.

After that odd seething anger towards her, he began seeing her face more. He picked out her face almost immediately in that canteen, he noticed when she would park her bike with three spots in between them, he would notice that you lingered a minute longer in a page when it was Statistics and that you were ahead by five questions when it was Mechanics-- but for some reason, you never seemed to see him, not even in your peripheral vision.

You walked past him like a ghost, wired earphones plugged in whilst two of your friends chatted away even when he looked at you intensely. Albeit, he was hurt. Did he have a one sided annoyance? Were you not enemies? It infuriated him for some reason, how could you unpack him just like that like you knew him for all those years but not even acknowledge him ever again. Oikawa Tooru wanted equal hatred from you.

After 6 weeks of sitting behind you, he also noticed that you liked Organic Chemistry, it only had your best hand writing and had the most stickers on the front of your notebook compared to Inorganic Chemistry or and subject in fact.

Oikawa also learnt that you stayed after school in the library to revise, he shook his head at that, what would happen if you were to ride your bike home and some creeps come up to you? Especially in the winter, the sun disappears at half past four for goodness sake.

It was Wednesday break time when he first spoke to you, you and him just had Maths more specifically you were learning Statistics. It wasn't a hard topic, it was the easiest one compared to Pure or Mechanics. Unfortunately, you absolutely despised Statistics. Oikawa knew you were struggling, he knew it took a blow on the no.1 student's pride.

When everyone had left, he stood to your left, his calloused finger pointing at your messy working out "You need to find the mean and the variance before you can write out the distribution; It's based on the Central Limit Theorem and you accidentally treated it as a Poisson distribution instead of a discrete." You looked up from your paper, the grip on your pen slightly loosened when you saw it was him talking to you.

"Oh, thanks." You said slightly embarrassed, it was a rookie mistake-- even five year old wouldn't make that frivolous mistake.

Oikawa felt flustered, you spoke to him softly which contrasted your resting face and your confident tone every time you spoke in class. "It's fine, I did that too on the third question." He lied, Oikawa's pen flowed like river during the entire 2 hour lesson but it caused a small chuckle to come out of her so it was a great lie. Totally worth it.

There was an uncomfortable pause. Shit. Oikawa thought, "If you'd like, I can help you whenever you need." Just the hell is coming out of my mouth. "I am available after practice." Fuck. "Only if you need it though!" He then ended his endless babble.

You, though suspicious, was not one to deny free help when it came to her worst topic in Maths. "Really? Thanks!" You smiled at him, it was the first time he ever saw you smile, he swallowed his spit hard whilst he looked down on you. Oh no, she's cute.

Oikawa Tooru was now eating his lunch, a well balanced meal containing soy-glazed chicken, brown rice, broccoli, carrots and four egg rolls. His mind wondered endlessly, he was supposed to find reasons to hate her not help her. Gosh, mission failed. "The hell's wrong with you today?" Iwaizumi said as he sat down with two of their other friends with lunch trays on their hand.

Oikawa didn't even hear him. Hanamaki looked at the direction he was looking at, a group of four girls but only one could possibly be connected to Oikawa. "She's out of your league, move on bro." He says bluntly while grinning at his own comment.

"Who?" Matsukawa turned his head around immediately to look at the direction Hanamaki and Oikawa were looking.

"Reader, everybody wants her." Hanamaki replied in a 'as a matter of fact tone.'

"Ohhh, her." Matsukawa nodded slowly as he realised who they were talking about.

"Wait, she's popular?" Oikawa asked, quite befuddled by the new fact. Iwaizumi, who sat across was quite shocked his friend was interested in someone and looked at him suspiciously.

"Duh. Number one student, part of the student council, kind-hearted, and pretty. Every guy in the team wants her." Hanamaki explains whilst Matsukawa nods at every word as he spoke.

"You guys like her?" Oikawa asked, in a slightly worried yet competitive tone, Iwaizumi looks up from his food and watched the scene unfold before him.

"My type, totally my type, but she deserves someone better." Matsukawa replied in a faux saddened tone.

"Don't do anything funny, Oikawa." Iwaizumi said in a warning tone. "She's a nice girl, if you don't have time to take her seriously then don't even bother asking her out." Iwaizumi looked at him with a look that Oikawa knew that he should listen well.

"Iwa-chan, you have a crush?" Oikawa looked at him with a glint of mischief and the mocking tone seeping out of his tongue. Iwaizumi cocked his head to the left, and pointed the tip of his tongue on his right cheek.

"Shittykawa!" With that, Oikawa spent at least two minutes getting his hair pulled by Iwaizumi the small ruckus gaining your attention.

During practice, Oikawa was at his tip-top form, but everyone noticed that he spun his head around at least every five minutes to look at the passing time. A very unusual behaviour for Oikawa.

He teased Iwaizumi more, and teased Kyotani even more. He was less respondent to the girls that came and watched him play, and a small smile hasn't left his lips ever since the start of practice. "Is he high or what?" Iwaizumi mumbled quietly when Oikawa walked with a slight bounce to his feet.

The coach also noticed Oikawa's odd behaviour, but he kept his silence knowing that teenage boys were a mystery. When the clock hit 6.00, the grin on Oikawa's face grew and grew. The coach ended the session by delivery the plan for tomorrow's practice and Oikawa nearly bolted out the gym doors.

"Shittykawa!" Causing him to halt his revved up tempo. "Are you not staying late?" He asked with his eyes squinting at the brown haired boy whose mind seemed to have gone to wonderland.

"Hmm? Says who?" Oikawa happily skipped towards the locker rooms to get changed, not even bothering to help clean up the blue and yellow coloured balls on the floor. Meanwhile, the rest of the team looked at each other with confused gazes.

Oikawa leaving when actually dismissed for practice? Never.

The setter walked with his arms to his sides, his hand laying on top of the side of his thigh while tapping his fingers randomly to an unknown beat, humming as he strolled the school hallway. Oikawa's heart was beating, perhaps with overflowing hatred.

When he finally reached the library, he went and looked for you, he saw you near the back, far away from the librarian. He watched you for a moment, standing still amidst the peaceful library, whilst you tabbed your Biology textbook.

His slender hands pulled the seat next to you gently as to not to startle you with a screeching wooden chair against the oak floor. You gave him a gentle smile, and greeted him by saying, "Oikawa-san, how was practice?" You were truly different from what he perceived you to be.

"Fun, got to use my muscles after sitting on the chair for hours." He replied complainingly. "Have you been here since four?"

She shook your head at his question, "Nope, I was helping arrange the excel spreadsheet for the club budgets."

"Please give my club more funds, L/n-chan." He places his hands together, a teasing pleading eyes whilst his cherry lips formed a pout.

Oh no, he's cute. The polite smile on her lips faltered and turned to a more genuine one, her eyes slowly squinted when her lips curled up. "I'll see how good at tutoring you are, then I'll consider." She gives him a playful wink.

"Don't worry, stats will become like the alphabet to you once the session is over." He smirked boastfully, after all he was the only reason why Hanamaki and Matsukawa were even passing all of their classes.

Oikawa went ahead and grabbed his textbook, he never really used his notebook for Maths, just his exercise book. Instead, he labelled his textbook with sticky notes with things that were going through his mind when he was doing questions to fully comprehend the topic.

Y/n opened her exercise book which was shamefully riddled with crossed out lines and hand writing that detoriorate as the question number increased.

"Write out the first question, then I'll explain." She did as he told. Oikawa scooched a lot closer to her, their chairs only an inch a part, their shoulders touching which became unbeknownst to them. It wasn't uncomfortable even though it was their first day talking. A sense of ease in the air knowing that his genuine kindness only wanted to help her.

When he began talking, his voice was affirmative yet gentle, not military-like but the type of voice you'd use when speaking to an old person about how to use a phone. She became immersed to his voice, like a dry sponge soaking in every word that flowed out of his mouth. When she didn't understand it even the slightest, she asked a question, then smiled brightly when it finally came to her.

Answering the made up question he wrote on her lined paper, there was a still silence between them. The time passed by woefully, a little selfishness inside of the Seijoh's captain hoped that she'd been lying the whole time and never truly understood it.

The scratch of mechanical pencil on her paper the only thing breaking the serenity, he watched her face-- not her working out, the hesitation when you typed in the numbers on the calculator and the number seemed deceivingly wrong. You held up the calculator in front of his face, a gleam of hope that you got it right, "Well done, L/n-chan." He beamed a proud smile.

He found it annoying that you understood it so fast, he wanted to stay at least fifteen minutes more with you. Time went by so fast with you, not even volleyball practice went by at the pace. Oikawa looked at the hands of the clock that was to his left, 7.15. "Thank you so much!" Y/n whispery yelled, he'd never seen this much enthusiasm for maths. "Can I treat you to something?" Y/n was not used to help without return, she was raised that way.

Her parents returned every single act of kindness with a gesture of appreciation, it was a way to express their gratitude. "How can I possibly let a lady pay for me?" Oikawa brushes it off as a joke. His sister nailed that to his head when he was young, she made sure Oikawa grew up to be a gentleman.

"I really want to though." The glint of joy in your eyes weaned off a little.

"If you insist, then maybe you can get some milk bread." He says passively as a joke but she nodded her head to that firmly, he knew she didn't pick up the joke.

"Let's get you home, wouldn't want you to ride your bike in the dark." She nodded with a smile and the two began packing up their stuff. Once they were finished, they tucked in their chairs quietly and left.

Oikawa couldn't help but notice their height difference when they were walking side to side her height barely reached his shoulders, and when he looked at her, he had to tilt his head downwards. For an unknown reason, it made Oikawa Tooru's heart pump more blood.

Y/n had a slight limp, and it didn't slip past Oikawa's observant eyes, she placed more pressure on her right foot. Oikawa was familiar to ankle sprains, he and Iwaizumi used to play by the wooded area of the parks and the roots that came out of the earth caused those nasty sprains.

Oikawa fiddled with the strap of his teal messenger to ease his nervousness, but she seemed totally fine. Perfectly fine. It was infuriating how perfect she was.

"So, how's volleyball looking like? Would I be right to presume that it's your choice of career." She turned to her right and looked up at him to make eye contact, but Oikawa broke it immediately.

"I think it's going great." A short answer, indicative of his discomfort.

As much as she wanted to drop the topic, she chose not to. "You'll be amazing." Y/n says with the most utmost trust. A complete stranger who didn't know him, perhaps giving baseless compliments soothed his heart slightly. "You're hardworking, talented and persistent."

Oikawa had never felt more connected to anyone up until that moment. A sense of knowing when she spoke, she was the wisdom and comfort he sought for. There and then, Oikawa wanted her.

As Y/n began to walk to her bike, Oikawa suddenly yelled, "Stop!" Causing her heart to flinch a little. "I think you shouldn't ride your bike, the wheel's a bit loose. Might come off." He swallowed his spit, hoping she'd trust his lie.

"Oh." Y/n says disappointingly, her ankle was hurting so much and walking home would just be a continuous reminder of the ache. "Thank you for warning me, what would have happened without you?" She forces a smile. "Well then, I'll see you tomorrow. Please get home safely." A polite bow, indicating that she was leaving.

"You can't possibly walk at this hour. It's so dark!" Oikawa held her wrist and gently took her to his bike. "Sit behind me, I'll take you home."

"How could I possibly?" Y/n denies his kind gesture.

"It'll make me sleep better tonight if I take you home. Do you know what creeps are out there?" Oikawa randomly flailed his arms around when he explained himself. He took off her shoulder bag away from her and carried it himself, sat on his bike, indicating that he was not taking a 'no' for an answer.

Y/n exhaled heavily knowing she couldn't possibly win against his persistence. She sat sideways on the seat behind him, gripping on the seat to make sure she won't fall but Oikawa turned his head around and took both of her hands and wrapped it around his waist. "So where do you live?" He asked.

"(Some random address)" She replied.

'What's with this aggressive kindness?' Y/n asked herself.

Oikawa began to pedal his way to that address. His cheeks and ears felt hot. He's never been this forward with a girl. Y/n laid her head onto his firm back after resisting her urge to do so for 4 times.

When they were riding the bike, they cycled past the 7-Eleven with a two people sitting and slurping the noodles whilst they faced the window. A light brown haired boy and a wavy haired boy looked at the scene before their eyes. They knew those two visages. "I saw that right, right?" Hanamaki asks his mate who was equally confused as him.

"I think. Maybe?" He, too, was befuddled.

"Interesting." They both said at the same time.

At the corner of his eye, Oikawa thought he saw Matssun and Makki but chose to ignore it and decided to enjoy the current situation at hand.

"There's still a chilly breeze from winter, you think?" Oikawa tucks his chin in a little deeper in his scarf after he asked the question.

"Yeah, still feels like winter to me." Y/n always felt cold, her hands and feet were always cold despite wearing leg-warmers or cashmere gloves. "I love spring though, I like the fact that it's slightly chilly and I can bring a jacket."

"L/n-chan that's a very specific thing to like about spring." He commented. 'Odd, but cute.'

"I mean, in summer you can't bring jackets since it's hot and since I have a lot of stuff I like in pockets, it's a bit of a hassle to keep 'em in my bag." Oikawa hesitantly nodded at her words. "Takes so long to just grab a damn lip balm from your bag, you know." She said, causing him to chuckle at her complaint.

"Now, that makes more sense."

"You, what's your favourite season?" Asking out of mere curiosity.

"Autumn, I like the looks of barren trees." He looked back at her whilst speaking.

"Oikawa-san, you're weird." She laughed at his face, to her the look of barren trees brought her heart down but to this guy it seemed like it was the opposite.

"Does that mean I'm special and stand out?" He pressed his lips together and pretended as if he was in a deep thought.

"Yes, if that's the answer that pleases you." She giggle once again, echoing around the empty streets, the street lights falling on her face giving her a slight orange hue.

"L/n-chan, you're mean." He pouted, a signature move of his.

"No, I'm honest."

"Meanie!"

They both laughed together, the bike slightly swaying due to Oikawa's divided attention.

They finally reached her home, which was two houses away from Iwaizumi's; Oikawa hadn't noticed earlier when she gave him her address but her house was just right around the corner and a bulb lit in Oikawa's mind.

She hopped off the bike and so did he, he walked her to the steps of her house and handed her the shoulder bag. "Goodnight, L/n-chan."

"Goodnight, Oikawa-san. Get home safely." She wanted to meet his eyes but he averted them once again.

She opened the door and walked in, giving him one final wave before she closed the door.

Oikawa let out a long exhale once Y/n closed the door shut. "The hell's wrong with you Oikawa Tooru, looking away like a damned middle school kid." He uttered under his breath, embarrassment seeping in his vein causing him to bite his lips.

Dang it. I thought she was annoying? She's not supposed to be cute and totally my type.

On the other hand, Y/n leaned her right hand on the door, "Why the hell were you so bold Y/n!" She yelled at herself. It's not like she liked Oikawa, so she didn't know why she so desperately wanted to impress him that she understood the material awhile ago. She didn't know why she didn't mind his presence.

Sure he has an admirable personality but that's about it! He does have broad shoulders though, he's six foot, funny, smart, charming...but! He has nothing else besides those things.

Y/n was supposed to study until 22.00, but her mind kept wandering off to Oikawa Tooru causing her to scream out randomly. Suddenly, her door barged open "ARE YOU GOOD?" Her older brother yelled at her.

"Yes, just don't understand this..." She obviously lied arousing suspicion but no further questions was asked and her brother left her room.

"Oikawa Tooru, you're dangerous."

Just around the corner of her street, the 17 year old boy rolled around his bed and was screaming at his pillow. His nephew caught him doing so. "Weirdooooo." Takeru says as he closed the door after thinking his uncle could play with him.

He removed his face from his pillow and watched the door be sealed shut, he spread out his arms and legs on his bed then placed his arm over his eyes.

"L/n Y/n, you're dangerous."

That night, two teenagers could not sleep.

The next morning, Oikawa got out of his house early and sat on his bike waiting outside Y/n's house. Was it weird? Perhaps. However, Oikawa forgot a very important thing.

A hand landed on his shoulder causing him to flinch instinctively. "Shittykawa, what are you doing here?"

"Iwa-chan, just waiting for a friend?"

"Don't think you have anyone else besides me and the two." Iwaizumi raised his brow. "Also, this is Y/n-san's house."

"YOU'RE ON FIRST NAME BASIS? UNFAIR!" He exclaimed outloud causing the lady who was flowering her front yard to look at the two. This caused Iwaizumi to slap him on the head.

"Of course," Oikawa's jaw further slackened. "Her mom and mine are at the same book club."

"Why isn't my mom helping me prosper." Oikawa clicked his tongue at the fact.

"I told you already Shittykawa, she's a nice girl-" Oikawa cut him off before he could say anything else.

"I know. Who else can treat her right but me?" He says cockily causing a vein to appear at the tanned man's right temple.

"You're full of shit."

"I am not."

They both heard the door open causing their heads to turn. "Good morning Hajime-kun! Good morning Oikawa-san!" There it was, a rusted arrow shot right through Oikawa's heart. '-san,' '-kun' the obvious tell-tale of their relationship.

"Y/n-san, good morning." A friendly smile appeared at Hajime's lips.

"Mornin' L/n chan!" Oikawa happily chirped, acting as if his whole world just didn't crumble in front of him.

"Oikawa-san, am I riding the bike with you again?" She asked, Y/n prayed it was a 'yes.'

"Of course, your ankle's still hurting right?" Oikawa accidentally slipped out. "I mean, your wheel is loose." Iwaizumi looked at him funny, it was on obvious lie.

Y/n's heart skipped a beat. 'Did he lie so that I won't ride my bike on a sprained ankle?' He made her jittery, it was so annoying. "I see, thank you once again." She walked towards the bike and Oikawa took the bag from her shoulder, again, as if he was programmed to do so.

Iwaizumi found it all too odd. She sat beside him, her right arm around his waist.

On their way to school, Iwaizumi rode his bike a little slower than Oikawa did, he watched them exchange jokes and giggles. No way, Oikawa was actually being decent. The guy never even made his ex laugh once, all he did was make her complain.

Iwaizumi was worried for his dear friend, Y/n who seemed to express the same energy as Oikawa. All he could hope was that Oikawa wouldn't do anything to mess it up.

When they arrived at school, Oikawa and Iwaizumi parked their bikes next to each other and Y/n patiently waited whilst they parked. "I'll fix your loose wheel for you, Y/n-san." Iwaizumi said while he looked directly at Oikawa, knowing the bike was damn well in perfect shape.

"I'd appreciate that Hajime-kun."

When Y/n attempted to take her bag from Oikawa, all he said was "Might as well lift a little bit of weights while walking you know."

'Why is he such a gentleman.' Y/n winced.

They walked to the third year hallways together, exchanging conversations about how their classes were going and a little snide comments from Iwaizumi complaining about every opinion Oikawa dropped.

They gained all the attention when walking. Y/n walking in between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and the very detail they noticed was that Oikawa was carrying her bag. Her friends, whom she did not was walking a bit behind her kept nudging each other with their elbows while giggling for their dear friend who in the very first time was talking to guys.

The whole week was like that. To Oikawa’s dismay, Y/n’s ankle had already healed over the weekend. No more excuses to have her ride his bike.

Though they did get closer, closer to the point that Oikawa walked out of his extra practice five minutes earlier to walk towards the library to pick you up.

From that week and onwards, Y/n and the fellow Seijoh captains rode their bikes together. She became acquainted to his friend, and he became acquainted to hers.

It was June, Seijoh’s volleyball team officially competed with Karasuno. Usually, it would be Iwaizumi, her and Oikawa walking home together but not today. They were busy.

Oikawa was out celebrating their win at a local restaurant known for its hearty meals with large portions and Y/n was walking home alone. Normally, Oikawa stuffed his face with carbs and protein but he didn’t feel like it, a sense of unease sitting on his stomach.

The restaurant was a good 20 minute walk from Y/n’s path and Oikawa could sense something. He knew something was not right.

Y/n hated walking home alone ever since she got used to the two captains presence, a sense of loneliness and the boys were practically walking shields and swords.

Being a woman meant being gazed on, cat-called on, disrespected on. Many people like to say that they’d fight when experiencing assaults, but for most it’s not. The biological instinct to just not fight back, not mind it, to pray it’ll just go away.

When Y/n’s hand was grabbed by a man in his mid-forties, grey and white stubble, his hair line receding back, she kept apologising saying “I’m not interested, I’m sorry.” She wanted to scream, run, fight back but she physically couldn’t. Her heart sunk when she realised what situation she was in.

She really wanted to push his hand away from her, but her heart was beating so loudly it prevented her mind from making a rationale decision. For the very first time in her life, she felt a blood-chilling fear that crept up to her neck.

That second, the second she was about to burst into tears and beg for her life, she heard thudding footsteps and saw a curled up fist meeting the guy’s jaw. She looked at the man who was panting across her, sweat glistening under the moonlight, his auburn hair sticking to his forehead. He placed her behind him, his broad back covering her. She was safe now. She’s okay now.

“You little piece of shit!” When the guy was about to get up, he kicked him. Oikawa’s heart was pounding on his ribs, he was shaking with fury, Oikawa just wanted to get rid of him. He couldn’t stand that look on Y/n’s face, her eyes lost of life and looked like she was just about to give up, he didn’t like that and it was all because of this man.

Oikawa stood in front of the guy who clutched on to his chest, who must have broke a rib or two from his kick, Oikawa Tooru raised his knees, his foot directed to the man’s ribs. “Tooru-kun you’ll kill him!” Oikawa heard his conscience, a shaking hand pulling him slightly, he looked back and saw her teary eyes. Oikawa’s anger blossomed.

Oikawa wanted to respond but he couldn’t, he just wanted to get mad at this pervert who caused Y/n’s lashes to dampen, her nose to sniffle, her hands to shake. “Y/n-chan, please let me beat the shit out of him.” He pleaded, slowly putting his foot down to the man’s ribs and stepped on him.

“Shittykawa! Stop! Don’t do anything more!” Iwaizumi had successfully chased after Oikawa and saw the scene as he was a few paces behind Oikawa. “I’ll call the cops. Get your damn foot off of him Oikawa!” Iwaizumi was trying to mediate him, he knew his friend always experienced emotions to the extreme.

Iwaizumi called the cops who got there in less than five minutes, Y/n gave her statement there and so did Oikawa. The police took the man with them and the other police car took the three teenagers home. Y/n held Oikawa’s throughout the whole ride, taming the flame sat in his heart.

When they reached home, the police told Y/n's parents what had happened. Her father dragged back by her mother when her dad attempted to go to the precinct while yelling "I'm gonna beat the shit out of him!" and the officer told him to "calm down."

The officer also said, "This young man has beaten you to that." He taps Oikawa's shoulder. Oikawa Tooru had earned Y/n's father respect, he immediately approved of the boy.

Her father looked at him with twinkling eyes, he knew Y/n was well-settled with a boy like him.

They grew even closer after the incident, a quiet understanding between the two of them knowing they liked each other but couldn't decide to make a move. They were both scared, they both knew how ambitious each of them were, they didn't wanna hold each other back.

She attended his practice matches and his official games, what can missing a few hours of revision even do? Can’t hurt that much.

Oikawa spent lost a few hours of his practice too, spending them with Y/n to study for subjects. They didn’t need each other’s help for anything, but it felt nice. A soothing feeling caressing their heart like it was cupped by a pair of gentle hands full of warmth.

To Oikawa, Y/n was balance. Y/n who gave him a space of haven when he wanted to avoid volleyball for a while, a space to stay when he plateaud. Y/n who reminded him there was life outside of volleyball, he'd long forgotten about the river near their house and Y/n reminded him of that again. Y/n reminded him of the beauty he'd long forgotten.

To Y/n, Oikawa Tooru was her selfishness. Tooru who gave her breaks in between her study session, Tooru who gave her time to forget about universities or grades. Tooru who gave her time to indulge in fun fairs, bowling alleys, or karaoke bars. Tooru reminded her of the silly child beneath her heart she'd always oppressed.

Y/n was watching the match between Karasuno and Seijoh, Seijoh won but the victory was laid on shaky ground. Oikawa felt threatened, a feeling he despised.

Though their victory was well celebrated, Oikawa was not yet relieved because there was still Shiratorizawa to go against. Oikawa's heart couldn't rest nor could Iwaizumi's. It was their second to last chance to attend Nationals, a big dream for a big fish stuck on a small pond.

The days before Shiratorizawa competed against Seijoh, Oikawa and Iwaizumi lingered for longer in the gym, along with a few first years. Oikawa's routine, one he's honed since he was a kid, refined it even further day by day.

Y/n watched him pour his heart into it all, gave him hope, and also watched him spiral when Seijoh seemed to be no match for Shiratorizawa again.

Oikawa didn't know what to do. He wasn't like the others, not like Miya Atsumu who gained recognition nationwide, not like Iizuna of Itachiyama Academy, he wasn't like those who reached Nationals. No matter how big he was in Miyagi, no matter how better he may be, no one will ever know his name because he's never stepped foot in the Tokyo dome.

That evening, the three walked home in silence, Y/n didn't dare break the silence because to them, this was comfort and understanding.

Before Y/n got inside of her front door, the captain begged. "Hold me, please." Tooru looked at her with pleading eyes. She did not hesitate to even give it to him, her arms wrapped around his waist, and his arms around her waist too. His chin laid on top of her head, taking a hold of her scent to calm himself down, he embraced her tighter.

Y/n was the only one who understood him perfectly. He didn't need to say anything. Just utter silence, warmth, and you. "Tooru, I know you gave it your all but just know, it maybe now, maybe tomorrow, a few months from now-- the fruits of your labour will come." After your words, you pulled away from him slightly, looked up at his tormented visage.

"I know it's hard to believe in it, but trust me it will come. Just like winter leaves and spring comes, things will change gradually and slowly." Tooru looked at you, hesitant of what to do next, he wanted to thank you but he knew he could express it another way.

His arms slowly slipped out of your waist, his roughened hands--evidence of his hard work, cupped your face, his right thumb caressing your cheek causing you to slightly lean on his palm, then his lips met yours. A gentle, sweet kiss, melting the melancholy away from his heart. It was steady, slow, just an exchange of love expressed physically.

Tooru brought you deeper in the kiss, mouth slightly more agape, slow slithering of tongues, slightly more sloppy than the start. Your hands wrapped around his neck after the kiss deepened, Oikawa Tooru felt like he was in cloud 9. Despite all of his losses, his one victory triumphed over everything.

Pulling away slowly, catching your breaths, you smiled at him. "Thank you, Y/n."

Untangling slowly from each other, the heat slowly rising from your cheeks when you realise what had just happened. "I think I'll go now, your brother looks like he wants to kill me." Oikawa chuckles whilst he looked at your brother who was peeking out of his bedroom window. "Goodnight, Y/n-chan" he leaned that and gave you a peck on the corner of your lips and whispering your name softly.

With that, the evening concluded with two teenagers who couldn't stop thinking about the shared kiss. The moon settled on the sky, watching over the dreams of those who slept, making sure they were kept safe so that no one would steal their desires.

The morning came, the bright light of the sun hid the figure of the moon. That day, and the every single day that came after, you and Oikawa began walking hands together in school. He carried your heavy books out of and to your locker, he watch your chess competition, you clung onto your title as grandmaster rightfully and Oikawa's heart would always swell of pride.

And you? You made sure Oikawa's water bottle never ran out during his solo practice, you would always pat the sweat on his face with your handkerchief which he would slyly give you a quick peck. When you'd bake sweet goods, you always added two scoops of protein and altered your recipe so that they'd befit his physique.

Iwaizumi knew you were good for Oikawa, he'd never been more thankful for the fact that someone changed him for the better good. Though, he'd never admit that in front of Loserkawa. Iwaizumi Hajime was proud of what they became.

The ship rocked yet sailed safely, that was until nature came with its lightnings and ruckus rain which broke the whole ship apart.

Y/n didn't know how this fight started. She didn't know when she started feeling these emotions. She didn't know when she started feeling frightened and insecure. Y/n never felt this before, and it threatened her whole being.

Y/n supported Oikawa with her whole being, if he'd had killed someone she'd find him the best lawyer and hide the evidence, if he had cried she would wipe her tears, and if he'd smile-- she would be there with him, holding his hand.

Graduation was only a month away, and Y/n could feel Oikawa's shifting behaviour. She didn't know if she was overreacting, but when she confronted him about it, Tooru told her "it's nothing, it's just in your head." So, she convinced herself for a few days.

The sinking feeling in her stomach, the kisses that begged her to shut up every time she wanted to question him, the robotic goodbyes, Oikawa Tooru was hiding himself from her. She knew it was bad to not trust or wait for Tooru, but the past month felt like she had a noose around her neck, a rocky chair below her feet. She was treading on rusted nails.

Tonight Tooru and Y/n were having a sleepover, Tooru was downstairs grabbing snacks for their movie night, waiting for the popcorn to finish in the microwave. Y/n was waiting in his bedroom, she took a glance at his study table and saw the piles of papers meaninglessly scattered. She sighed and her hands began to work, stacking the papers on a pile in different categories.

As she was about to throw away the papers that were obviously trash, she saw a crumpled paper in his bin that had a logo of a team that Tooru was a fan of. Y/n's body went cold when she saw that the piece of paper was from Club Atletico San Juan, his name written on the top left corner of the page congratulating him for getting in.

She knew what this was immediately. Hesitation. Y/n was holding Oikawa back, Tooru was being held back by her. All of it came rushing to her, the realisation that she was the reason why Oikawa faltered, she was the reason why Oikawa was straying from such a huge opportunity. It paused her breathing.

Y/n swallowed the spit in the back of throat. Y/n thought she knew Oikawa better, he was practical, calculative, ambitious, she knew that Oikawa couldn't have anything that would hold him back from his dreams.

It was a painful confession to make, Y/n was bad for him.

The following evening, Y/n had called Tooru over in the park, it was night and the sun had disappeared hours ago. Tooru arrived in his black joggers and grey hoodie, his hands tucked in his pockets, had he been the Tooru he was few months ago; he would have hugged her and asked her if she was okay.

"Tooru, let's stop this." Her own words trampled on her hardened heart. "I can't be here anymore." Oikawa's hands slipped out of his pockets, his shoulders felt weak all of a sudden. "I don't want this anymore." Every spit of her word stabbed her deeper.

"Y/n-chan, where's all this coming from?" He grabbed her hands gently, afraid that she might push him away if he touched her too fast or too harshly.

"You can't act like this Tooru, you're being unfair." Her eyes glossed, she looked up at him like everything had fallen apart. "You can't act like nothing's wrong when you've been hiding things from me." She didn't move away from his touch, she didn't want to. No, not yet. Just a few more seconds, at least a minute more. "How can you hide the fact that you were wanted to go Argentina." She didn't question him, just disbelief in her voice.

Tooru couldn't open his mouth. How could he possibly tell his one and only love that he may never come back until a few years later when he's the best version of him he could be for her. "Am I holding you back? "Did you think I was gonna leave you when you were gonna fly off?"

No, you weren't, he knew you'd wait for him and that was the scary part. "Tooru, how can you think of me like that?" He still couldn't open his mouth, he could only pull you in his arms and soothe your back. You couldn't pull away, you still couldn't.

"I'm sorry. It's not like that, I swear it's not like that Y/n-chan." His voice paced, panicked. "I'm sorry for making you feel scared, please forgive me. I know I wasn't saying much, I know that I avoided you, please forgive me." Tooru held you tighter, you were slipping away like water in between the gaps of his fingers.

But you pulled your hands away gently, preparing to let him go. "Tooru, we can't be together when I'm holding you back. You're Tooru because you chase your dreams, you're persistent, you're ambitious." He took a step towards you, but you took a step back. "I can't steal your dreams from you." The moon glistened over their heads, partially covered by clouds. "If that means breaking up with you then I'm prepared to do that."

Oikawa prayed that you were joking, but your saddened yet collected composure said otherwise. "Y/n-chan, you're not holding me back. I swear." He lied blatantly. Oikawa knew he could only have one over the other and he chose you; it wasn't sweet or endearing-- it was heart-breaking. How could he be so selfless just to make you happy?

"Don't say that, I know you. Why would you break your own heart for me?" Bejewelled gems fell from your eyes, dampening your soft cheeks as they streamed down, he wanted to approach you but your stance screamed at him, telling him to move away.

"I can't be the one holding you back Tooru, please forgive me." Oikawa didn't even get a word out of his cracking lips, he was confused. Confused as to why you cared more about his dream than he did. He never understood that night, was he that easy to push away?

Oikawa always believed relationships were fleeting, like a piece of paper floating along city roads, but your relationship with him was different. It was the kind of relationship he wanted to see through until his muscles depleted, until his back curved, until his skin sagged. He wanted to see the hard times and the good with you. He wanted to wake up next to you.

Oikawa Tooru simply loved you. What good was volleyball without you?

You? You had the same dreams too. You wanted to cheer for his games, you wanted to watch him rise when everyone else doubted him, you wanted to reach your dreams together but it seemed like you were the only one reaching yours. Staying with him was also breaking his heart slowly.

Graduation came, the cherry blossom petals dance around everyone as they took their pictures. From afar you watched him, the Seijoh 4 taking their photos, your heart ached a little but Tooru was officially heading off to Argentina. His dreams became your dreams too.

Oikawa Tooru will never know how much you prayed for him. He will never know how much your heart broke. He will never come to know how much you loved him. He will never come to know how his dreams became your dreams too.

He looked back at where you were, a scroll on his hand and his phone on the other. You were giggling with your friends, had he been a better man for you, you would have stood by him.

Argentina, a country full of sunshines, the country buzzed with excitement to a foreigner like Oikawa. It was new, refreshing, a reminder that he needed change. He got an apartment according to the contract he got from his club, he felt excited and nervous, a language foreign to his tongue was whispered in every corner of the street. He wished that he could tell you about it.

Tokyo, a city full of bright lights, the paths were filled with people, everyone's pace were hastened that it made yours too. The buildings looked down at you, stood in rows neatly. It wasn't like Miyagi's serenity--it was chaos, this city cornered you.

You were right, this city, this country didn't allow Oikawa to fly. Tooru was better off outside this country where he was miles away from you and hours ahead of you.

Your first month of lectures at med school was cutthroat, people didn't care if you didn't hear what the professor said, they didn't let you copy off of their notes when you were a few steps behind from writing. It was frustrating, you wished you could tell Tooru about it.

The next month you were able to catch up, the pace seemed normal to you now, you were proud of yourself for managing it well but you couldn't find someone to talk to. No friend to talk about the university workload, no one to talk to about how life drained you bit by bit.

Medschool chipped on your soul, by your second year of med school, it became harder to get out of bed, your curtains were always shut close, you had to drag your feet to the lecture halls. It was tiring yet fulfilling.

On your first year of residency, the food in your fridge was always expired, your cabinet was filled with instant ramen or canned tuna, it was no use to keep have an apartment when you were sleeping in the hospital for five days straight, your indoor potted plants gifted by friends at your housewarming party had turned withered. There was no life surrounding you.

You'd forgotten Tooru somehow, just like how one breathes, it remained yet became unnoticed. You always thought you forgot about him, more like prayed you did, you just pushed him at the back of your mind like you did with every single thing that made you human. Anger, sadness, frustration, joy, you made it all perish until all you could think about was the title of a 'doctor.'

On the other side of the globe, Oikawa Tooru played volleyball. The first month was annoying, his teammates hardly trusted him, doubted his tosses, doubted his skills, but he proved them all wrong when he became more and more refined day by day.

The language barrier made him uneasy, most of his teammates spoke in Spanish, they could speak English too but Oikawa learned textbook English and not volleyball specific English.

He missed Japanese food too, he always thought things he ate at home every week were boring but he began missing them after some time. The snacks he'd buy at the convenience store after school with you became rare here, it was hard to find Asian markets and the prices were always 5 times more. He missed everything about home, especially you.

Life flourished for Oikawa, he gained fame in Argentina after his first official match with the team. He silently thanked you, because you pushed him here. Oikawa finally understood that it was the hardest decision you have probably ever made, it was something his childish 18 year old self could have never comprehended.

Every interview, every endorsement, every touch of a ball in Argentina was all thanks to you. You were right, he would have never been truly happy without volleyball. He just kind of, scratch that, really wished you watched him as all of this happened.

A selfish part of him hoped that he still lingered in your head, do you randomly look for him in the crowd too? Do you feel his shadow like he feels yours? Do you search up his name like he does with yours? Do you sing his favourite song like he does with yours? When you close your eyes, do you see him like how he sees you in every dream? Do you miss him like how he misses you?

Does he haunt you like how you haunt him?

His teammates always ask him, "Are there no beautiful women in Argentina for you?" when they would go out to drink. "How can an attractive guy like you be so single?" He was the centre of their laughter, he'd always brush it off, he knew they didn't mean offence but his heart still beats for you. He knows that's something will never change. He wondered if that was the same for you too.

"No one seems to be my type." He'd joke back, everyone would burst out laughing but it was the truth.

"Our setter has high standards, eh?" Oikawa laughed with them hoping it would drown out your haunting presence.

Your co-residents made fun of you, always talking about how you only cared about work and was practically married to it. Every holidays you would go back to Miyagi and visit your parents, you travelled out of the country once when you graduated but that was it. No boyfriend. Drinking at bars alone. Meeting up with your friends when you all magically had a day off at the same time but that was it. To others, your life embodied loneliness but to you it was solitude built upon your pride.

You were finally in your last year of residency, the last year you'd get bossed around by doctors, the last year you'd tolerate disrespect from the doctors who blamed you for mishaps that wasn't even yours. You were going to be free in a few weeks.

Driving home at 1 a.m. wasn't nice, your eyelids are daring to close on you and the grip around the leathered wheel loosened as each minute passed. You were slowly regretting the choice of not leaving the hospital in a taxi.

You switched to another live broadcast to some stupid radio station that invited famous people, ranging from YouTubers to celebrities. As the current one about dogs caused your eyes to droop more.

"Mister Oikawa," You heart suddenly felt heavy like it did 7 years ago, "is it true that you're still single?" The interviewer spoke in English as this was an American broadcast.

"Yes." His voice was deeper when he spoke English, it carried his accent slightly a symbol of his home.

"Why?" The interviewer asked, that was what everyone wanted to know. Y/n waited for his answer impatiently.

"Me and my greatest love parted ways after I went to Argentina, she was the one who pushed me to it because I didn't wanna leave her." His voice carried his emotions, but masked it with confidence and professionalism.

"Oh! So you're still in love?"

"Yes." He replied with pride and solemn in his tone. She could hear his bittersweet smile across the radio waves.

"Do you have a message for her incase she's listening?" The interviewer suggested knowing this would be picked up by sport magazines well.

"Y/n-chan, I hope you're doing well." It was short and sweet, it was just like him. "Thank you for pushing me to my dreams." An interview meant for volleyball now turned to a love-sick, sappy interview.

You parked in your apartment building, leaned your forehead against the wheel and cried silently. "Damn you, Tooru. It's okay for me to have not moved on, but you should have." Your nails dug through the heel of your palm forming crescent shaped moon on your skin. "Just leave me be." You hated Oikawa because he was the only man who could ever make you hesitate and falter.

Not even med school or residency caused self-doubt, but he did. His voice, his soft visage, his laughter, his cries, his everything always made you pause and question if you were doing the right thing. You never once looked back at your decisions until he came around. You hated that he made you more humane and less practical.

Before you unlocked your car doors and head off to your apartment, you told yourself that you needed to see him once more so that you could get rid of his shadow for the rest of your life.

After three long dreadful weeks, your feet reached Tokyo's international airport, 1 large luggage on your right hand and one medium size on your left, your hand bag perched on top of your luggage as you checked in.

Walking inside the plane, they were mostly filled with Europeans whom you presumed to have visited Japan for vacation. When you watched the plane take off, you had asked yourself if this was what Oikawa saw too when he was leaving home. Maybe he felt more deeply than you did, perhaps he teared up a little knowing he'll only come here for visits and not to stay.

Guilt rested on your heart throughout the whole flight, you had pushed away Tooru so cattily without even giving him a chance to say anything, perhaps your immature 18 year old self should have spoken more to him softly rather than hanging him off a cliff. Perhaps, you should have sent that message of, 'have a safe trip.' Perhaps you should have taken him to the airport. Perhaps you should have never left him at all.

These thoughts were always home in your mind, thoughts that would surface every time you drank too much Smirnoff in your couch, or when you would wake up from dreams that included your endeavours with him.

When the plane finally landed in the soil of Argentina, the captain welcomed the people onboard and a few clapped which you refused to join.

You hailed a cab, spoke in English when you spoke to the driver as it was a language that was commonly used by the people of Argentina. He helped you carry your luggage on the truck and spoke to you in the cab. "So, what are ya here for?" He asked, a common thing to ask tourists.

"I am," you hesitated "visiting an old friend." Regret wrapped around your tongue.

"I see." He must not have noticed your saddened tone, which you inwardly thanked cause you wore your heart on your sleeve so easily when it came to Tooru. "Well, I hope ya enjoy it here. Very, very good food." He chuckles slightly.

"Very bad traffic though." You say as a joke.

"I know." The old man sighed then shook his head animatedly.

The rest of the ride was silent, the country was rich in colours, the sun was blazing down but was not humid like Japan which made the heat more tolerable. 'I wonder if Tooru drove along these roads too.' Your mind pondered off to him once again.

When you reached your hotel, you immediately took a shower and laid on your bed then turned on the TV. It immediately took you to a sports channel that was hyping up the fact that the Division 1 of Men's volleyball was commencing tomorrow, something that you already have a front-row seat ticket for.

Oikawa's face came on screen, his blue uniform, a colour that always looked amazing on his complexion, his top hugged his biceps tighter, his shoulders broader, his jaw sharper, one thing that hasn't changed was his hardened gaze when it came to volleyball.

The sun settled later than it would have in Japan, the sunset was a gradient of orange and purple which left you in a state of sublime. For a moment, all you could think about was the beauty of this land, your burdens left your shoulders and you breathing became slower. The world was truly beautiful.

You weren't excited to see Tooru, but maybe if you'd sleep a little earlier you would get to see him quicker. Maybe, just maybe.

When you woke up the next morning, you prepared yourself and ordered room service for breakfast. It was a simple omelette garnished with parsley to make it look more appealing, the silver cutlery has no water stains, the coffee served with it wasn't made up of instant coffee but made from Moka pot which you could immediately differentiate by the taste.

The morning was slow, every passing minute felt like a drag, it was hard to choose the clothes you wanted. A part of you wanted to impress Tooru by wearing a good choice of clothes. A pink-printed floral dress that swayed like silk in the air, the dress had a built-in corset which pushed out your chest slightly, the dress ended on your ankles, a simple white closed toe stiletto to pair your dress.

Your heels were low, not even two-inches which made sure you could walk around it the whole day, the strap of your bag hang on your shoulder which you gripped on tightly as you walked through the ground. You hated crowds, it made you anxious cause it felt like you couldn't see anything ahead of you but the heads of people that were above your height.

However, the sight in front of you eased your anxiety. There were little kids holding banners of Tooru's names, wearing his jersey number, they dragged their parents through the crowd so that they immediately reach their seats inside the stadium. You were proud of what he became, and suddenly you knew that your decision wasn't a mistake. This was the life Oikawa Tooru deserved.

When you found your seat, the seat at the very front row which gave you the best view to watch him play. All of a sudden, you were eighteen again and cheering him on from the stands of a smaller gymnasium but now everything has changed.

Oikawa was the second to walk in the stadium, the number 17 written boldly on his chest, his chest huffed out as he took his routinely deep breaths before the game started.

Oikawa felt something unusual, a familiar feeling from 7 years ago but decided to push it aside knowing this was a very important game.

Tooru had an old habit back in the days, he'd search for you in the crowd filled with thousands of people. It was a habit he had to kill because it dismayed him day by day knowing you'll never step foot on this soil. He knew that the match against Karasuno was the last you've ever seen him set or serve.

The game began, the referee blew his whistle and within the given eight seconds, Oikawa sent his serve on the other side of the net which landed cleanly on the vertex of the white lines. A roar from the crowd emerged, "There you go ladies and gentlemen! Number 17, Oikawa Tooru landing a service ace!" He'd never get used to the satisfaction of landing a powerful hit.

By the third serve, the opposite team sloppily received Oikawa's serve. "Damn them." You utter beneath your breath. The ball was sent over the net back and forth for multiple times until it landed on C.A San Juan's side which ended Oikawa's serves.

Tooru didn't lose his composure, he watched them carefully, communicated with his team which glances and unspoken trust every time he set the ball to one of them. You knew little about volleyball, but Oikawa's growth was obvious. There were less unnecessary steps between his movements to save his energy.

You smiled every time Tooru's hands touched the ball, this was his dream, your dream too. You felt like you didn't need to talk to him anymore, to you this was enough, seeing him play for a major league was enough.

"That number 17 is so darn annoying!" The old man beside you grumbled.

"Ain't he?" You replied with a smirk. "He's just an amazing player." Your arms crossed on your chest, you felt like boasting Oikawa.

"Whatever lil' lady. C.A San Juan will lose today." The man huffs, but when you turned your head at the scoreboard, the difference was vast. You didn't need to say anything more to a stubborn fan of a losing team.

The first set was taken by C.A San Juan, but the second was handed to the opposite with a 3 point difference. By the third set, Oikawa was running out of energy. The pressure was extra hard on this match, C.A San Juan may have been the number one team at the moment but they were going against the ones who were just below a rank. There was barely a difference in skill.

The setter moved around the most, strategised the most, and held the burden of carrying the rest of the team. The ball was falling in front of him, but his body could barely react with all the thoughts running in his head. What should he do if he successfully prevents the ball from touching the ground. Who should he set it to? "Tooru, move!"

Oikawa moved immediately, he lunged towards the ball and did a low-set towards the middle blocker. The ball went over their side, earning them a point successfully. He knew that voice, the voice of a guardian angel that prayed for him silently from afar, he knew whose voice of frustration that could only come from. So, when he turned his head to his left he saw you.

The world stopped spinning for a second, you were watching him. Tooru's head snapped back in the game when the referee blowed his whistle again. He'll finish this game in five minutes for you. He just wanted to see your face as soon as possible.

There was a shift in the air when Oikawa knew you were here, he played more efficiently and calmly. His play more aggressive, forced his teammates to move faster at his command just so he could see you. Those who sat by the bench noticed it too, how their setter changed when the woman from the crowd called him amongst the rest of the spectators.

The game ended dramatically, Oikawa setting it to the most unpredictable person and used a quick attack he had mimicked from his junior. The final whistle blew, the referee pointed the point to his side of the court. The cheers from the crowd grew stronger, the banners waved, yet it the jeers and cheers dissolved when he saw your countenance smiling at his victory.

Normally, the team would huddle together in victory but Oikawa's feet magnetised him to you. The cameras followed the MVP of the match wondering why he was running off the court, his long legs leapt over the barrier, he could only see you and no one else at that moment. Something on you could do to him.

You were bad for him. So bad, because every time you stood by him all he wanted was you. You made him so desperate for you. "Tooru!" You yelped when his arms wrapped around you instead, his knees kissing the ground as his head was laying on top of your lap, your hand brushed against his hair dampened by his hard work and labour.

The crowds cheers simmered down when they saw their favourite setter hug a woman. "Don't pull away just yet. If you're here to tell me you've found someone else and that I should move on. Let me be a bit more selfish, you'd want that too, right?" He spoke in Japanese, a language he'd only speak over calls with his friends and family over call but now he was speaking it with someone in front of him. You always brought home to him.

You forgot why you even came here, forgot the fact that you were here to erase memories and not to make some more. "No, of course not." Your comfort was a familiar feeling. You guys peeled away from each other after a long awaited 30 seconds. His teammates and opponents looked at him wide-eyed.

Oikawa Tooru, famous for never batting an eye to a woman in the volleyball scene just hugged a woman in front of the stadium, in front of the camera crews that was being broadcasted internationally and nationally. "Go back to your team, I'll be here. I promise." He got up from the ground, his steps stuttered as he looked back at you-- afraid you'll leave his sight.

Once the celebration was over, once the journalists and camera crew has finished asking questions about the game and about you, once he's finished signing the autographs of the little kids that admired him. He came back to you, most people had left the stadium but you stayed and waited.

Just like when you were 18, Oikawa Tooru would grab your hand gently and walk you just outside of the changing rooms to wait for him. "Don't say anything yet because if I hear another word from you, I might cry." Oikawa was nervous, he didn't know what to say or do. He just wanted to hold you.

His teammates looked at you funny, funny in a way that they knew they were gonna tease their favourite setter in the changing room. They nudged at each other, wriggled their brows at you like middle schoolers. Their outside hitter gave you a nod of approval with a smug grin which caused your cheeks to warm up. You were a bit shocked at how their build contrasted their personality.

You lingered outside the changing rooms while Oikawa wore his windbreaker and you could hear his teammates tease him about you. Oikawa yelled at them to stop because his cheeks reddened each time they fed his head with delusions.

"Sorry about that." He apologised, but it was clear as day that he enjoyed it. "Let's not talk here, Y/n-chan." He led you to the parking lot, and asked the coach driver to open up the doors for him. The driver looked at Oikawa, an upside down grin on his lips, he gave you guys a thumbs up and a wink to Oikawa.

You guys sat towards the middle of the coach, Oikawa made you take the window seat because no way in hell were you gonna run away from him again. He won't let you, unless he knew you were definitely gonna be happy without him, unless you were truly better off without him.

Oikawa wanted to barrage you with questions of why you never let him stay with you, why you never responded to his messages or emails, why you asked Iwa-chan to never tell him how you were faring. The setter wanted to get mad at you. "How are you?" His voice barely a whisper, a silent cry that he didn't manage to suppress.

He inspected you carefully, dark bags hung below your eyes, your movements slow, each time you blinked your eyes it seemed like you were forcing them to open. "I'm getting by." Why do you want to reassure him? He hates you. He truly did because you looked like you were one push away from the gates of heaven. You looked like you haven't slept properly nor gotten the right amount of sunlight.

"How about you, Tooru?" Why the hell were you so worried about him when your body was breaking apart right before his eyes. He was in excellent physique, you looked like you were going to pass out from just 20 minutes of walking for fuck's sake.

"I'm not great. I'm just alright, Y/n-chan." He took your hands, surrounded it with his roughened palms. Your hands were gentle as ever, something that your career needed. They needed your gentle touch, your light hands, nimble, precise and quick. His on the other hand required his raw power, harshness, unwavering cruelty to slam the ball down.

You wanted to get it out of your chest, the words you should've said immediately when you left him. "I'm sorry, I should have talked it over with you--" Your beating heart became erratic, you were just one more beat away from a cardiac arrest.

Oikawa thought he'd relish when he heard those words, he thought he'd feel better but he wanted something else. "Why should I forgive you?" He watched your chest stop rising. "I know you. I know that all you did was push me out of my comfort, to remind me of my petty pride, to remind me that I was stuck in Miyagi." His thumbs brushed the back of your palms, he didn't meet your eyes even when you waited for his gaze.

"I don't resent you. I never have, and I never could. You believed in me when I faltered. You gave up your happiness just so I could stop hesitating." He slowly looks at your eyes, his tears threatening to fall from his ducts. "You made the greatest sacrifice for me." Suddenly, the feeling on your chest disappeared.

Those emotions you could never explain, those reasons that felt like was incomprehensible he understood so perfectly. Why did he have to be the only guy to understand you. Why did he still love you after those arrow-headed words. Why did he have to be so kind. Tears fell from your face, it pained Oikawa to see you like that. To him, he was always the reason for your crying.

"Your heart's always so gentle." You removed your hands from his grip, he expected you'd let go again but this time both of your hands cupped his cheek. He rubbed his cheek onto your palm, holding your left hand in place with his right hand. "You're painfully kind, Tooru."

Oikawa loved holding intense eye contact with you, a symbol of his intimacy and love, it made your heart flutter every time. "Only for you, Y/n-chan. I promise." Unwavering loyalty. "Hey, hey..." He says softly when your crying worsened, each tear that left your eyes made his heart sink further. "Forgive me, Y/n-chan." He says incessantly hoping you'd calm down cause his heart was aching too.

"Tell me what you want, please." He pulls you to his chest, his heart racing more, he couldn't stand seeing you cry. "I'll do whatever you want, so please don't cry anymore." Every diamond that slipped from your tear ducts caused his coronary muscles to contract.

"I know it's selfish but--" You looked at him with begging eyes. "Tell me, tell me that I can stay with you." Your biggest hardship in life wasn't the entrance exam for med school, it wasn't the medical licence exam, it wasn't when you moved out your sweet abode to Tokyo. It was watching Tooru leave and prosper without you.

"You can stay with me for how long you want. If you're tired and feel like leaving everything, stay with me. You don't need my permission to stay Y/n-chan, there's always been a spot for you here." Tooru who knew your self-doubts, Tooru who knew you were insecure when you thought you weren't amazing as him, Tooru who learnt that you thought you were a burden.

"I promise I'll carry you along wherever I go, I'll never make you choose between your happiness and my dream again." You continued to cry in his chest until you stopped, his heartbeat against your ears-- a pleasure you haven't experienced in a millennia. The soft drums from his chest decelerated, your lids slowly shut themselves as you fall asleep from the soft taps on your back.

10 minutes after that his teammates entered the coach and took pictures of the mystery woman sleeping on Oikawa's shoulder. Oikawa knew he couldn't stop them, he just hoped that you wouldn't wake up to their teasing.

"Oikawa's finally gonna get engaged boys!" Their captain laughed. Gosh. Oikawa loved their teasing.

They arrived at their hotel which was only a 30 minute drive from the stadium, Y/n was carried by Oikawa out of the coach, his muscles flexed as he carried her towards his hotel room. The receptionists, janitors, guests watched the prince carry his princess to his chambers. Tooru was worried about your face getting leaked online so his friends who understood his dilemma about Y/n's face getting leaked online gathered around Oikawa so that they couldn't even get a glimpse of your face.

Those who recognised Oikawa, which was everyone, took pictures and scrambled on their phones and uploaded it to every single one of their social media platforms. When they reached the elevator, they could finally relax and pressed the top level floor, the doors creating a 'ding' when it open and closed.

His teammates walked Oikawa to his hotel room, which was odd but he paid no mind. "Goodnight sleeping beauty." His captain says. They were all excited for Oikawa.

Tooru carried you in his hotel room, removed your heels swiftly from your feet. He didn’t like that you wore heels that suffocated your feet, sure you looked wonderful but he’d have preferred if you were comfortable more than anything.

He laid you down on the comfort of his bed, the blanket over your shoulders, and placed your shoulder bag on the nightstand. He couldn’t care about anything else at this moment, not the PR manager who’s probably gonna question him, or maybe the fact that Iwaizumi was calling him right now most likely about the fact that he ran up to you after the match.

This second. This minute. This hour. This very moment closed the twelve hour bridge between you two. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching your chest rise up and down, a sight he’d want to wake up to every morning without a fail.

After volleyball, you became the very dream he’d prayed for. Something he couldn’t hone or practice for, your relationship was indefinite unlike volleyball. Good outcomes weren’t guaranteed, so every little thing was a miracle to Oikawa Tooru who’s done nothing but yearn for you for the past seven years.

As selfish as it sounds, Oikawa Tooru wanted to trap you here and wished you never woke up, he wished that the seconds won’t slip through his large hands. He just wanted to have you in arms again. "I want to keep you here." The tips of his fingers grazed your skin slowly, he didn't want to wake you up cause you'll leave him in this meadow you created.

"You're cruel." His voice rubbed against the back of his throat, his own words shadowed his intentions. "You always, always, make me wait and I hate that I do."

During the arduous 7 years where you were gone had him driving by places you would have loved. He looked at paintings you would have loved. He drank and ate the food you would have loved. He did everything you would have loved, just to have a sliver of you with him.

He knew he was forcing the red strings, but what was love without work? Fate, luck, chance, were all superficial to him. Everything he possessed was a product of his work, if he had to work off his bones just to have you then he will. Nothing will ever tire him from you.

Tooru placed his head on your thighs, after he sat on the cream-coloured, cushioned seat. His hand gripped yours tightly so that he'd wake up from his dreams incase you ran away again. No one could could protect his dreams, not the promising moon, not the deities. How can anyone possibly steal what's in his hand when he was holding you so tightly.

A few hours passes by, 23.53 hits the clock. You rise up from the bed, a weight on your legs which you gave curiosity causing you to look at it. It was Tooru. You removed your hand from his vice-grip, the heat accumulated over the hours of touch slowly dissipating. You pushed back his dark locks that tickled his face, your fingers running through his scalp.

He wakes up panicked, the dim light of the hotel room looking basking on your faces, his pupils were shaking when he woke up and realised that the warmth from his hands slipped away. "Tooru," there it was, the voice of his dearest one "don't worry, I'm here."

"Sorry." He says bashfully.

No, you were sorry. Your heart crimped when it dawned upon you how Oikawa Tooru looked like he was stepping in eggshells when he thought you vanished again. "I won't leave, not again." It was your turn to comfort him now.

"I betrayed my own feelings. I betrayed us. I'll be more stubborn this time, I'll hold you tighter." Oikawa sucked in a deep breath, your words stood with a deep foundation, something hurricanes could never blow with their seeming harsh blusters. "I love you more than anything. I promise, I won't work things out by myself again." You took his hands and rested it upon the blanket where your thighs were, patted it like you would to a crying child.

"I'll make things more difficult for you. I'll whine when you're away from me." He cackled between his tears, the tips of his nose reddened and he could already feel the fact that he was getting nasally blocked. "I'll be a part of everything you've dreamt of."

Your gentle Tooru that broke easily in your comfort, you ungrounded the fences on his heart, you lightened every heavy boulders on his shoulders.

"Tell me that you'll be there at every match." He holds onto your shoulders but he wasn't harsh, he just wanted you to look directly at him-- he wanted to know for sure.

"I will be there. I promise." Something so menial made him feel so much, more than his heart could bear.

Oikawa stood up ripped the blanket off, carried you and wrapped your legs around him, he sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at you. He wanted to tell you the three words he's dreaded to say but they were lodged at his throat. Just like 7 years ago, he took you by the lips, but the kiss was aggressive and passionate. He was catching up on every possible minutes accumulated over the years where he would have kissed you.

Your fingers automatically attaches to his hair, tugging it slightly as he got more and more aggressive. His hand rubbed against your bare legs, the skirt of your dress slowly rising with each touch. "Open." You complied willingly, following how he wanted it.

His large palm held your head in place keeping it steady, he moves away from your lips and kisses the spot between your neck and collarbone before sucking it causing a small whimper to escape your lips. Your hand holds his jaw, hoping to reconnect with his lips again which he immediately picked up on.

Oikawa loved this, the close proximity, the kiss he's imagined for so long, he loved how you were with him again. He loves your warmth against his. He loves your presence right beside him. He just loves you so much it feels like he can't contain it any longer.

You place your hands on his chest, signalling you needed to breathe, he pulls away, his hands on your hips and looks at you lovingly. "I love you so much, Y/n. I love you too much that I feel like my days are empty without you." He was dazed with you, he wanted to drunken his emotions and days with you.

"I love you too, Tooru." You reciprocate his words. "I love you so much my heart is chipped every time you're gone. I never realised how much it felt so wrong without you up until now." You gave his shoulders a squeeze, a sign of reassurance.

"Stay with me, Y/n." How could you not when he looked at you as if his whole world will crumble now if you'd reject him. You could never say no to Tooru, not ever again, your heart can't handle running away from him again.

"I'll be here, now and forever." You press your forehead against his, closed your eyes and indulged in your desire.

"I promise to make you the happiest woman, I promise to love you more than the whole universe can love you." His hands moved from your hips, his arms now wrapped around your back. A deep breath escapes his lips, feeling more relieved more than ever. "I'll love you more than love, cherish you, take care of you until my last breath is you."

The clock hits 00.00. The day anew. This once derelict love will repaired slowly with time and effort. The sun, the wind, the rain will always be different from yesterday, it will change ever so slightly. Time is not a source of remedy, but a moment for reflection, to understand what went wrong, to change what happens the following minute, hours, days, or years.

Every passing minute is a reminder of reflection. You can't dwell on the past, you can only live at the moment and plan for the next step.

[x3nawr1tes]

no bc this is me💔💔💔🥀🥀🥀

yeah.

HIHI neon I LOVEEE your works 💖💖

I wanted to request a Rin x reader one where Readers like a MASSIVE fan of him. And like collects bllk merchandise of her bf, like keychains, figurines, jersey, posters, and plushies. All of it.

Readers also REALLY shy and tries to keep it a secret but Rin finds out one day and the reader kills herself from embarrassment/j 😛😛

cuteeeeee tysm for the request!!

winner of all fangirls

ft. itoshi rin

cw. fem!reader but it’s not specified. crack + fluff. rin calls you creepy (endearing)

rin didn’t really get the whole merch thing. yeah, he’s seen people buy jerseys and stuff, but he never thought about it past that. it didn’t make sense for someone to want to wear his number around, showing him off like he belonged to them. all he wanted was to play soccer.

which is why it completely blindsided him when he walked into your apartment for the first time and finds a lot of himself in it.

a jersey hanging on the wall. more than a few keychains on your bag. a signed poster—his poster—framed by your desk. and not one, but six plushies and figures of him sitting on and around your bed. the largest of the bunch stared soullessly at him like some kind of cursed twin used in dark magic rituals.

you froze in the doorway behind him, stomach dropping straight into hell. “rin.”

“hm?” he glanced over his shoulder, completely deadpan, like he wasn’t surrounded by himself.

“don’t. look.”

“… i’m already looking.”

you contemplated spontaneous combustion.

“so… you’re a fan.” he said it flatly, like he wasn’t sure whether to be amused or deeply concerned.

“was! i was a fan. i’m not anymore. actually, i hate you now. leave.” you blurted, face too red as you started tugging on his arm to pull him away from your bedroom.

rin blinked at you. “you have plushies of me.”

“they’re ironic!” you squeaked, voice hitting an octave you didn’t know you could reach.

he bent down, picking one of the plushie up with the most judgmental look imaginable. you were surprised he wasn’t using two fingers to avoid touching it more.

he turned toward you, expression unchanging. “this doesn’t feel ironic.”

you immediately buried your face in your hands, half ready to cry, half ready to launch yourself out the window. both sounded equally entertaining.

meanwhile rin just… stared at you for a second. then he let out this quiet huff that was almost a laugh and said, “you’re ridiculous.”

he set the plush back down and walked over, gently tugging your hands away from your face.

“don’t be embarrassed.” his voice was softer now. “it’s… kinda sweet. creepy, but sweet.”

you glared up at him, cheeks burning. “you’re never allowed to speak of this again.”

rin smirked the tiniest bit, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “no promises.”

©neeeooon, all rights reserved. please don’t copy, translate, or repost my works. ‘25 | bllk masterlist

[x3nawr1tes]

જ⁀✦ i love you and hope you love me

( karasu tabito x fem! reader )

✩ a/n — WOO obsessed with karasu. ( listen to what i wrote to here!)

✩ word count — 1.8k

✩ content — karasu tabito x fem! reader, model! reader, mention of harmful self image problems, harsh social media comments, body image!!!, if any of this will effect you or your mental health- pls skip this fic :) see you in the next one!! , not proofread

✩ synopsis — even if you thought no one in the world wanted you, tabito karasu was there to prove you wrong.

── .✦ don't cry for me, argentina. the truth is, i never left you

There had been a time when the lights made you feel alive.

When the click of a shutter, the buzz of backstage, and the rustle of silk against skin made you feel like the world was finally looking at you — and really seeing you. 

You were eighteen when it began. Picked out of a crowd by a scout with a camera around his neck and a laminated badge around his wrist.

“You have that thing,” he’d said, peering at you like you were a rare gem. “You look like summer. Like freedom.”

And maybe you were, back then.

The campaigns came quickly. Youthful, fun, glossy work. Runways full of backpacks and pastel sneakers and hair done in loose, bouncing curls. 

You could laugh and twirl and throw your head back in bright innocence — you were good at that. 

Everyone said so. You loved it, too. You really did.

And on one of those campaigns — for some shiny new cleats no one would remember the name of six months later — you met him.

Karasu Tabito, rising star of the U-20 team, wearing black joggers and a smirk like he already knew the world would love him. 

He was supposed to kick around a ball while you modeled the shoes, but you — in your typical whirlwind fashion — had managed to lace them on the wrong feet and stumbled straight into a laugh.

You were embarrassed, expecting judgment.

But Karasu only doubled over in genuine, wheezing amusement, helping you sit down and tug them off. “Gotta say, that’s a first. You always put shoes on like that, or am I special?”

You’d rolled your eyes, but you’d also given him your number. 

The rest, as people say, was history.

You moved in together a year later. 

By then, he was already rising through the ranks, becoming a household name in the football world. The boy with sharp eyes and sharper wit. 

And you — you were making your shift too. You were no longer the girl in back-to-school ads.

At twenty, your old agency dropped you.

“You’ve matured out of our brand’s aesthetic,” they said. A polite way to tell you that you weren’t childlike anymore. It didn’t hurt. 

You’d seen it coming. You weren’t meant to sell bubblegum and backpacks forever.

Your new agency was more mature. Sleepwear, lingerie, elegant silk robes — slow smiles instead of bubbly laughter. 

And for a while, it felt good. 

You walked taller. You wore red lipstick and sleek buns. You were, in your mind, becoming someone.

Until your first runway.

It wasn’t the show itself. The lights were hot. The heels were high. The garments were beautiful. You walked like you always did — calm, confident, a little detached. 

The show went on. The photographers clicked. The crowd clapped.

And then came the whispers.

The comments. The tweets. The DMs.

What happened to her smile?

She looks heavier now.

Her walk is stiff.

Yikes. Aging already?

Her body looks weird in lingerie. Not sexy at all.

At first, you thought you could take it. Thick skin, right? Comes with the job.

But the posts multiplied. 

Your name trended — not for your work, but for your flaws. 

You started refreshing your socials like a compulsion, reading every message like they were verdicts. 

You began avoiding mirrors. 

You cried in the shower. 

One night, Karasu came home to find your phone facedown, buzzing nonstop, and you sitting on the edge of your bed — hollow.

He confiscated it without a word. You didn’t protest.

You were on leave after that. Agency-mandated, but it didn’t feel like a relief. It felt like a quiet dismissal. 

Like maybe they were rethinking your place too.

One evening, after another long practice, Karasu walked into the apartment, damp with sweat and tired but still grinning—until he saw you.

Standing in front of the mirror in your bedroom. Eyes red. Fingers pinching your skin like you were trying to find flaws no one else had seen yet.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice soft.

Your reply was quiet. Broken.

“I’m not pretty enough anymore.”

Like it was just… a fact.

Karasu stilled. His gym bag dropped by the door. “What?”

“I’m hideous,” you whispered, and your fingers reached for your cheeks, your jaw, your stomach. “The internet’s right. I look wrong. I smile weird. I’m—”

“Hey.” His tone turned sharper, cutting through the spiral. “None of that.”

He crossed the room in a heartbeat and wrapped his arms around you from behind, his chest warm against your back. 

His hands held your wrists, pulling them gently away from your body.

“Look at these eyes,” he said into the curve of your neck. “My gorgeous girl. These eyes are my favorite part about you.”

You tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let you.

“Your nose — you love smelling my cooking, right? That’s what this is for. Every time you come home and go ‘mmm’ from the hallway? I love that.”

His voice cracked into something softer, warmer. “And your lips…” He chuckled, low. “What can’t I say about those, huh?”

You were trembling. Your eyes filled again.

“You’re perfect, doll,” he whispered. “Don’t you ever look at your face and say anything that’s not that again.”

You finally turned around, burying your face into his chest. His scent — warm skin and the faint spice of cologne — wrapped around you like a shield. 

You held him tightly, like he was the only solid thing in a world that had turned cruel.

“I… I can’t do this anymore,” you sobbed, your voice cracking into something raw. “No one wants me.”

He picked you up like it was nothing, one arm around your legs, the other at your back, pressing you into him. “Don’t say that.”

He kissed the top of your head, lips lingering.

“I want you. I need you, doll. Doesn’t matter what those assholes say. You’re everything to me.”

He brought you to the bed and gently laid you down, brushing your hair back from your face.

“Now,” he said, brushing a thumb under your teary eyes, “you’re gonna pick a movie. I’m gonna grab ice cream. And we’re gonna have a good rest of the night, okay?”

You sniffled, staring up at him with glossy eyes. ���Okay.”

He kissed your forehead before leaving the room, and for the first time in weeks, you didn’t feel like the mirror was your enemy.

The next morning, the statement went out.

official.y/n: After deep reflection, I will no longer be pursuing a career in modeling. Thank you for the opportunities, the lessons, and the love. xoxo.

Some were shocked. Some were cruel. But many — many — were supportive. 

Your inbox was flooded again, this time with encouragement. 

Girls your age saying they’d felt the same. 

That you’d always looked beautiful. That your work had meant something to them.

But you didn’t check your phone much that day.

Instead, you were on the balcony with Karasu, curled into his side in one of his oversized hoodies, a mug of tea warming your hands. 

He pressed a kiss to your temple and muttered, “Proud of you.”

You exhaled, letting the wind kiss your skin.

For a long time, you thought the lights would save you. 

That the flash of a camera, the right dress, the perfect post would make you feel full.

But it was an illusion.

The truth?

You’d never really wanted the fortune. Or the fame.

You only ever wanted to be seen — really seen — by someone who loved you anyway.

And in Karasu’s eyes, you always had been.

little epilogue bc i couldn’t stop writing

The stadium was electric.

Not the overwhelming, dizzy kind it used to be — the kind that buzzed too loud in your ears and made you feel like you were shrinking, even when everyone was looking at you.

No, this was different. This buzz was warm. 

Like laughter in a packed restaurant. 

Like applause in a room where you're not the one onstage, just someone in the crowd, proud.

You were dressed in jeans and a fitted long-sleeve top, Karasu’s team jacket tied around your waist — the same one he’d given you last winter and said, “It looks better on you anyway.” 

A low baseball cap shielded your eyes from the sun, but your face was bare of makeup. And it felt good. Freeing. Like you could breathe again.

He’d texted you earlier:

Tabi💜: Bench to start, but I’ll make it worth your while once I’m subbed in 😏

You: You always do. 💜

You found your seat a few rows above the field. Not VIP — just regular. 

Right in the noise and spirit of it all. There were kids waving banners. Teens yelling chants. Parents taking blurry photos of the pitch. 

The woman next to you had a toddler with juice spilled down his shirt. It was chaotic and real and, oddly enough, exactly where you wanted to be.

You were unbothered.

You were glowing.

You were happy.

He caught sight of you from the bench. Even from across the field, you knew. The way he nudged one of his teammates and pointed in your direction with a grin said everything.

It was enough. It always was.

The first half dragged a little — his team struggled to keep pace, and there was clear tension among the defenders. 

You could see him itching to play. Legs bouncing, arms crossed over his chest, jaw tight with that familiar anticipation.

Then the sub call came.

You straightened slightly when you saw him stand, pulling off his bib, already rolling his shoulders like he’d been waiting for this exact moment. The stadium erupted. 

He jogged onto the pitch with that signature swagger, and the minute he touched the ball, the energy changed. It always did.

He didn’t score — not right away, anyway. But he assisted the goal that broke the tie, and the whole crowd leapt to their feet. 

You did too, cupping your hands around your mouth and cheering so loud it startled the juice-sticky toddler next to you.

The woman beside you glanced at you, squinting beneath her sunglasses.

“…Wait,” she said slowly. “Aren’t you—” She paused. “That model? The one who walked for—”

You smiled. A soft, easy thing. One hand adjusting your cap.

“No,” you said gently, like it wasn’t a lie. “Just here watching my boyfriend play.”

She blinked, then grinned back. “He’s good.”

Your eyes followed Karasu as he celebrated with his teammates, that boyish grin lighting up his face.

“Yeah,” you said, full of warmth, “he really is.”

And just like that — you turned back toward the field, no camera flashes, no whispered gossip, no pressure to smile a certain way. 

Just wind in your hair, love in your heart, and Karasu on the field, doing what he loved.

And you — finally, finally — doing what you loved too.

Being there. Being whole.

Being seen.

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[x3nawr1tes]

erm hiii!! so i can’t write to save my life but you can so i come to you with a very humble request 🧎‍♀️

could you like write about maybe a tooru x reader (saw hes your favorite ehe mine too i need one in my life where to purchase fr) who mentions in passing that her type is basketball players or smth stupid like that and he hears it and legit doesn’t talk to her for a week and then they make up at the end so it’s like just super fluffy

basically tooru being dramatic because that’s the way i like my men fr 🙏

“Not Your Type?!”

Oikawa x reader

╭─〔❨✧✧❩〕─╮

“So… what’s your type?” Your best friend asks you.

It’s lunch right now; you and your best friend are eating linch together in your classroom, sitting at the desks by the window.

“hm… I don’t know. I like athletic guys though- yk?”

Oikawa’s eyes lighten up. His back is facing toward you though.

“Probably a basketball player though.” You twirl a piece of your hair in between your fingers as you let out some giggles. “It’s pretty hot, not gonna lie. And most of them are tall- I mean, there are short basketball players though. As long as I can make eye contact with them I’m good.”

Oikawa pouts from his spot.

Your friend nods approvingly, “oooh~~ great point. I see the vision-“

“Exactly!”

~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s the afternoon now. You get out of history; your last period and wait by the gates of the school. You’re supposed to meet up with Oikawa to walk home, as routine on Mondays, since that’s their day off.

You’re sipping your peach tea, waiting… It’s been 10 minutes?! Where is he?!?!

You take out your phone to text oikawa, pressing the keys

╭ ─┉──┉─ ╮

YOU

where r u???

borderline f slur

Hm?

YOU

It’s Monday.

Arent we supposed to walk home together?

borderline f slur

oh.

yeah sorry

my mom was told me to come home right after skl

YOU

oh ok

see you tomorrow then :)

╰ ─┉──┉─ ╯

The hell?! Did this hoe seriously leave you on read?! What did you even do?

You walk off campus, not thinking about much. Eh, maybe he’s busy? His mom did want him home earlier…

~~~~~~~~~~~ It gets even weirder.

Not only that, but Oikawa stopped saying ‘hi’ to you in the hallways, stopped walking with you, and even stopped reaching out.

Every time you wanted to talk to him, he brushed you off saying he had something to do.

He always made time for you before; but now? It’s like you don’t even exist.

Did I do something wrong? Is he getting tired of me?

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey-! Iwaizumi-kun,” You call out.

It’s Monday now; still no sign of Oikawa talking to you. You carry your bento in one hand to eat later.

Iwaizumi looks at you through his classroom door, “Hm? L/n-san? Why are you here?”

You’re somewhat acquainted with Iwaizumi. Definitely not as close as Oikawa, but you definitely enjoy bullying him with Iwaizumi.

You take a breath before continuing, “It’s… it’s Oikawa… he’s been ignoring me for the past week.”

Iwaizumi sighs, “Knowing him, it’s probably something petty. But you should talk to him.”

“You don’t know anything?”

Iwaizumi shakes his head, “No, I don’t. I don’t know what goes on in that idiot’s mind half of the time”

“True. I guess I’ll go talk to him. Thanks.” You step away from the classroom.

You spend a precious 10 minutes of your lunch period looking for Oikawa, looking for him all throughout campus. As soon as lunch ended, it seemed like he vanished into thin air!

You couldn’t find him in the gym, the courtyard, anything! Damn. I feel like one of his crazy fangirls… What am i gonna do? Confess my love? You blush at the thought. Sure, you did like him, even if he wasn’t your usual type… but shit like this is exhausting.

You finally find Oikawa in the basketball court, of all places. You can see him trying to shoot; but then missing. Horrendously. Wanting to observe more, you hide behind a nearby tree.

Oikawa continues practicing, trying to dribble and shoot. He even trips on his own feet.

Isn’t he a volleyball player?!

Deciding that you’re tired of this… whatever it was, you emerge from your hiding place from the tree and step forward.

“Oikawa?”

He visibly jolts when he sees you.

“Y-y/n?!?!” The stutter tells you everything you need to know.

You take a few steps forward once more.

“You’ve been avoiding me lately. Why?”

Oikawa grits his teeth. “None of your business”

“It kind of is. And you just confirmed it.”

He… pouts? “Tch. Do you even care?” Oikawa says in a slightly passive aggressive manner.

“Yes, I do! Were friends after all-“ You realize how angry you might’ve sounded and switch up your tone a bit, “I do care about you and value our friendship. If there’s something bothering you, then tell me please. Did I do something wrong? Ignoring me won’t solve the problem”

Oikawa is silent for a second. Then pouts again. “You don’t get it!”

“Then explain it to me-“ You reason. This bitch is being so hard to talk to for no reason!

“Hmph! Go talk to hot basketball players then. They’d probably understand.”

You’re confused. “Hm? What do you mean-“ Oh. Your mind goes back days ago when you were talking to your friend.

“Yeah! Of course you don-“

You sigh. He really is pathetic. “Is this about me saying my type was basketball players?”

“…yes,” Oikawa looks a little childish.

“I… Oikawa- do you- like me?”

“…yes,” Oikawa’s pout doesn’t seem to lessen.

You sigh, “So you’re jealous?”

“A little…”

“Look, even though I said my type was basketball players, I still think you’re cute. Even though you might be a little pouty. And overdramatic sometimes.” Oikawa’s eyes light up. “I still like you even if you aren’t my usual type. And that doesn’t mean I like you any less”

Oikawa seems to be processing your words before smiling wider than you’ve ever seen before, “Wait- does y/n-chan think I’m cute?”

“A little. But please don’t ignore me if something’s wrong.”

Suddenly, you feel a pair of arms wrapped around your torso. “Oikawa!” He buries his fave into your neck, and you can’t help but lift up your arm to caress the side of his face. “We’re at school-! What if someone sees!”

Oikawa reluctantly pulls away. “I couldn’t help myself-“ he sticks out his tongue, appearing cheeky.

“ok, ok.”

“Wait- you said you like me too-!”

“I did,” You reply.

“Wait so you’re like… madly in love with me now?”

“I wouldn’t call it that. But… ok. And for the record; you don’t have to change yourself just to try and be ‘my type’. I like you for you.”

Oikawa wastes no time, “So are you willing to be my girlfriend?”

“…yes, I am,” You smile slightly.

Before you can stop him, he pulls you into another hug.

“Oikawa!” You can’t lie… it is cute. He’s like a puppy, you think. You laugh a bit. “Let go before anyone sees. Especially your fangirls-“

Oikawa smirks, “Tch. Like I care”

“God- ok…. Let me eat first; I’m hungry. And i bought milk bread from the student store- your favorite.” You pull away from him as you both sit down under a tree.

~~~~~~~~~~~

You’re now sitting in your room, with Oikawa’s head in your lap. He’s looking up at you.

“So… you sure your type isn’t basketball players?”

You peer down at him with an exasperated look on your face, “yes-! Im sure-“ You stroke his head.

“mmh…” Oikawa leans into the touch, “Alright…”

A/n FOR MY HUZZ (😳😳😳 /p) @whoo0sh ENJOY THE FOOD AND EAT UP (the rest of yall eat too… i have plenty to share :p)

navigation

[x3nawr1tes]

★RULER OF MY HEART★- ch. 6

a Karasu Tabito x reader SMAU

After Karasu spawns in, you decide to head to the starting point. You line up with the other bikers, Karasu being next to you on his bike.

“So… y/n-chan?” You look at him.

“Hm?”

He almost had a pout on his face, “Yer bein’ quiet.”

You tilt your head. “So? ‘M usually pretty quiet.”

“Nah. But like- more than the usual.”

“The hell does that mean?” Tabito shrugs.

“Just get ready- the race’ll start in a few.”

“ ‘kay, babe.” You visibly cringe and give him a glare in response.

“Could ya not? That’s fuckin’ weird”

Tabito’s only response is a lazy smirk and a smug tone, “Yeah, yeah. Won’t do it again.”

You see the lights flashing in the distance. Guess the race is starting soon.

You drown out the crowd around you, blanking out. Thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. The only thing that snaps you back to reality is Marisa’s familiar voice.

You immediately get ready, putting down your visor and placing your hands on the throttle.

“Ready… set… go!”

It’s messy and chaotic, bikers packed together all trying to overtake the others. You slow down a bit, letting the others pass you before you zip forward. Weaving through the streets, you spot a lot of familiar bikes.

One by one, you pass everyone.

The only thing thats left is to pass Tabito.

You speed up, wind blowing against your body and can practically see Tabito grinning from the corner of your eye. You scoff from underneath your helmet.

Weaving through cars, you’re neck and neck with him. Deciding to be a bit risky today, you tailgate him from the side. You two are dangerously close. You smirk as Tabito slows down. As much as you love appreciate him, he’s not winning this race.

And you were right

With the sudden advantage, you’re now able to spot the finish line before anyone else. You feel the sudden adrenaline going through your body as you cross the finish line back to the factory. You pull up to the side, panting a bit as you get off your bike.

The first person to congratulate you on the win was Marisa. You saw her as soon as you hopped off your bike.

She smiled at you. “Hey girl! You did so well!”

You freeze up, but then remember to smile back. “Uh- thanks-“

“I mean it! You looked so badass out there-“

“Thanks-“

“Wait a minute- we should go out for drinks together!”

“Uhm… drinks?”

“Yeah-! Unless you don’t drink- which is totally your decision a-“

You accidentally interrupt her. “I do. And- sure, I’m down. But I need to find Kiana first.” Shit- do I look rude for doing that?

Your eyes scan the area. Is she here? What happened-? Normally Kiana would be running up to you after a race. Your eyes scan the area one last time before you take out your phone.

Well, you were getting worried over nothing.

Marisa looks at you. “Kiana isn’t here- she left early. Are we going now… or…?”

“Sure!”

“Alright. But uh… do ya mind if I stop by my place to drop my bike off… if I’ma drink then i don’t wanna leave my bike overnight at a bar… especially since. I’m drunk.”

“Sounds good! Oh this is gonna be so much fun! And we get to catch up properly! First round’s on me!” She grins and you chuckle in response.

~~~~~~~~~~~

You can feel the liquid courage in your system as you slur your words. “Mhhh… fuck this drinks good-!”

Marisa nods her head and agrees, “Oh yeah for sure~”

“Shit- why don’t I ask for this all the time….”

you take out your phone and snap a picture of the drink. In your drunken haze, you upload the picture to twitter.

The night had been going great so far; either you and Marisa catching up. You could see why Tabito liked her- she was, as he put it, not mediocre. You couldn’t deny that the alcohol wasn’t helping this interaction… maybe it was for the better?

And past the point of Marisa and Tabito… together… she was genuinely a nice person.

Wait- are you jealous?

You turn your attention back to the conversation you’re having with Marisa. Sharing stories and talking… is honestly kind of fun.

“Hey, y/n? I’ve been meaning to ask- whats goin’ on between you and Karasu-kun”

“What do you mean-“

Marisa giggles, “You know what i mean- are you two… y’ know…”

“I still dont get it,” You state bluntly. You don’t want to assume anything, though you think you know where this conversation is going.

Marisa confirms your suspicions, “Are you two going out- like together together?”

You hesitate. “No. We’re not.”

Marisa looks surprised, “Really?!”

You nod, “Yeah.”

“You two looks like you are though.” Your eyes widen at her casual remark. “Karasu-kun really looks like he likes you.”

“He does?” I guess it makes sense…

Marisa agrees with you, “Yeah- from what I can tell, at least. And honestly-“

“Hm?”

“I think you two would be a good couple.”

Sweat forms on your forehead. “I- I highly doubt it. Some people are just better off as friends- plus, don’t you and Tabito have a past together, Marisa?” The alcohol is making you more blunt than usual. You seem more suited for him than me. You don’t say that part out loud.

“You mean when I confessed to him at the sixth graduation-?!” Marisa laughs at your statement.

“I- uh- yes.” You don’t normally stutter like that. At that realization, you take a sip of water.

“Oh shut up-“ She playfully hits your shoulder; not too hard. “That was years ago! I was a young and stupid girl back then. It was just some elementary school crush.”

“But still-“

“If you think I have lingering feelings for Karasu-kun, you’re wrong. Plus. I had a feeling that he liked you more than he liked me. Even if he didn’t say it, it was clear.”

You tilt your head. “I… why though? I was always under the assumption that he had feelings for you; even back then.”

“Don’t you see how he talks to you? How he looks at you?”

“I….”

“Take it from me. There might be a lot of fish in the sea, but not a lot of them will look at ya like that.”

“Like what?” Oh.

Oh

“Opportunities like this don’t come often, trust me. But don’t feel pressured to get with him just because he likes you. Do you feel the same way?”

Her words hit deep.

“I… I dont know. He’s my best friend but… if we get together, what will change? What’s gonna happen?” Marisa nods intently.

“It depends and it’s different for a lot of people. In the end, it’s your decision.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

You think about Marisa’s words a lot. The alcohol is getting to you more than ever now. Guess you didn’t drink as much water as you thought you did. Your minds foggy and you can barely think straight.

You fumble your purse out of your bag, taking out your phone. It almost slops away, but you manage to catch it. Tapping on the smooth screen, you pull out twitter.

You smile as you put your phone away, giggling.

“Y/n-san?”

“hm?” You look up at Marisa.

She slurs, “I’ll be going now. Got a ride. Buh byeee~~~” You can see Marisa stumbling out the door in her platform boots, clearly struggling. You would help her; but considering your state right now? You’re not much better…

You call out to her, smiling. “Byeeeee!!”

Her silhouette disappears out the door as you turn around in your stool. You glance over at the bartender, shaking your leg. Shit. I might get kicked out at this rate. You giggle to yourself a bit before calling out for another shot….

~~~~~~~~~~~

fuck. That probably wasn’t the best decision.

You’re leaning over the toilet in the bathroom. Shit. Is Tabito here? You dont want to keep him waiting, but your stomach is saying otherwise…..

~~~~~~~~~~~

Once your stomach settles down, you stumble out of the bathroom to look for Karasu. You eyes scan the bar, hoping to find him. You don’t see him inside, to your disappointment. Thats when you step out.

The city air at this time of the night is cool and refreshing. It feels like a nice break from the loud and chaotic atmosphere of the bar. You scan the area for Karasu’s car. Nothing… maybe he parked a bit farther???

You walk under the streetlights and further down the sidewalk. It’s hard keeping your balance like this; your feet stumble everywhere as you scan the parking lot with your eyes and surrounding cars.

“Hey~”

It’s a voice you don’t recognize. You turn around on your heels. It’s a group of men. Three to be exact. Three too many. Your stomach drops; you know where this is probably going to go.

The ringleader, you assume, speaks up. “What’s a pretty lady like ya doin’ out and about at this time of night?”

You keep quiet and glare at him, not trying to give this man any more information than he needs. You’re aware you look like a mess, so you try standing your ground.

“None of your business,” You say in an assertive tone.

“Hm? Ya sure? Whats your name, sweetheart? You single?” You cringe at the nickname.

You feel drowsy. Being out at night, drunk, and alone is not the best decision, “That is none of yer business.” You grit your teeth after saying that.

The final guy; one with a bright blue shirt speaks. “Oh? I take it you’re single then!” He gives you a sleazy grin, trying to appear ‘friendly’, “Which one of us is your type then, miss?”

“None. I have things to do.” That wasn’t very convincing….

They quickly surround you. As you suspected. You take out your pepper spray from your bag, but before anyone had the chance to do anything, you hear another, more familiar voice.

“Heya Y/n-chan,” Tabito steps forward, putting a hand on your waist. “Are ya guys hitting my girlfriend here?” He glares at the group.

The guys, now intimidated by Karasu, stutter out a cluster of responses.

“I- we’re not,” One of them says.

You give Karasu a look that seems to say, ‘What the hell are you doing?!’

He shoots you a reassuring glance back and puts a finger on your lips. His grip on your waist tightens.

“Seemed like it. Plus, she’s clearly drunk. Yer hittin’ on a taken woman who’s also drunk.” He plays the role of a boyfriend surprisingly well, you note. “Me and my girlfriend will be on our way now.”

He guides you to the car, his hand still on the small of your back. You can’t lie, it feels nice. You sneak a few glances at him. He looks nice. When did he get this pretty?

“You look pretty.” You say as you stumble a bit before getting in the car. Karasu looks surprised at your statement. “Why do ya look so surprised, Tabito-chan? Do I not say that?”

He almost looks… flustered?

“Ya don’t. Most of the time.”

“I should say that more then. It’s the truth!” You let out a drunken giggle.

“I…” He’s ultra focused on the road now; trying not to give himself away. “Let’s get you home.”

You smile at him, “Ok.”

The engine revs up and Karasu twists the key. You look out the window, watching as things pass by quickly.

“Mhhh… I’m sleepy…” You yawn.

Karasu chuckles, “Don’t fall asleep on me right now.”

A minute later, you’re knocked out.

Karasu glances from his place in the car at your sleeping body. Your head is against the window, eyes shut.

Does y/n really think that? Or is it cuz she was drunk?

Karasu continues driving, the sound of the music on the radio and rain drops keeping him company. He pulls up and finds a place to park in the area near your complex.

Cute. She fell asleep.

Karasu doesn’t hesitate to open your door on the other aide of the car and pick you up in his arms. Despite the fact that it’s raining, he goes to your apartment.

With you in one hand, he unlocks the door using his free hand and spare key. Karasu steps inside and places you down on the couch. He releases his grip on you and plops down on the other side. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees your eyes start fluttering and eventually come open.

You mumble, “Mmh? Tabito??”

“Yes- Are you ok y/n- do you need water? Did those guys earlier touch you-“ You shake your head.

“I’m ok,” You smile in that drunken way. “You really are pretty~” You slur.

Tabito hesitates before his next words. “Do ya really think that? Or is it just cuz yer drunk, y/n?”

You stare at him.

“I do!”

“You do what?”

You grin, “I do think that!”

“I doubt it,” Karasu can’t help but tease you a bit.

You pout a little, “You are! I swear!” It’s a rare sight from you. One that karasu definitely appreciates.

“Oh really? You should say it more when you’re sober then.” Theres an underlying hint of something else underneath his teasing tone. “Anyways, let’s get you to bed. And some water.”

“Alright!”

Karasu gets up and steps to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he pours out some water into a glass.

He walks back to the living room, “Here. Now go get yourself cleaned up.”

You take the glass of water gratefully, lifting it up to your lips and taking a few sips before putting it back down, “ ‘m too tired… can you just stay here with me?” You scoot over to where Tabito is sitting and lean on his shoulder.

Your eyes widen as Tabito gently pushes you off.

You glance up at him, “Hm? Why’d ya pull away?”

“Yer drunk, y/n. Yer not in the right mind right now.”

You reply matter of factly, “Don’t you like me?”

“…Where’d ya get that idea?” Tabito asks with a hint of curiosity.

You let out a giggle. “Marisa told me today.”

“You were with Marisa?”

“Yeah. She told me ya liked me.”

“Yer drunk, y/n,” Tabito states

You exclaim, “Stop changing the subject, Tabito-chan! Do ya like me or not?”

He scoffs, “It’s not like you’ll remember this moment in the morning.”

You object, “So? Does that matter?”

“Yes! It does!”

“…”

“Look. Just… go to sleep. None of this matters. This is just some drunk rambling shit-“

“It’s not.” You interject.

“Yes it is. And it doesn’t even matter. It’s not like you’d admit to this conversation later.” He pauses a bit for continuing. “And it’s not like you like me back.”

“Yes I do! I do like you back-“

Tabito interrupts you. “Just- take a nice shower and go to sleep, y/n. You’ve had a long night.”

“But-“

“Please. Don’t get my hopes up.”

“Ok. Just please. Remind me about this in the morning- I know I’ll forget-“

“Alright.”

“…Can you stay over?” You ask.

“I’ll take the couch.”

“Ya sure?”

Tabito chuckles, “Where else would I sleep? I’m not some douchebag who would share a bed with a drunk woman.”

“Ok.”

You get up without another word and head to your room. Karasu hears the water running as he scrolls on his phone. Despite not being intoxicated, sleep takes over him as he lays his head down on one of your many decorative pillows.

You look at him from your bedroom door. Too tired to go over there yourself. You smile at him sleeping.

“Night, Tabito. Love ya” You say in a hushed whisper before crashing onto your bed.

A/n: damn yall that was probably the longest chapter I’ve done 4 this series so uh…. Hope yall enjoyed🫶🫶🫶 i do NOT know how these people write 10k long chapters like what??? Anyways byee‼️‼️🫶🫶 also please do not mind the timestamps those r so inconsistent and i work on this during the span of multiple days…

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CH. 5 || CH. 6 || CH. 7

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[x3nawr1tes]

sneak peak???😳

taglist:

@mixolya @narcjsistx @sky-casino @aztec-ahuizotil @morgyyyyyyy

@sl-vega @megumismyhusband

@ohagiyo @verlamiaa @itz-phantomz

sorry for the long ass hiatus im cooking rn trust

And the newest chapter will probably be the longest in the series

[x3nawr1tes]

trying to get to most of the things in my inbox b4 working on ruler of my heart :P

[x3nawr1tes]

WAZZUUPPPPP ‼️‼️ may i request but a few moments of your time , for your writing would do numbers on my heart.

grovels at your feet. . . ( pre-wc ) kunigami childhood friends headcannons. . .

Childhood BFF!Kunigami Headcanons

Kunigami Rensuke x Fem!Reader-childhood friends to lovers

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Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami and you met in the 1st grade, when a group of boys was picking on you. Kunigami was in your class, and instantly came by your aide to defend you from them. The boys who made fun of you might’ve went away, but Kunigami didn’t.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami was practically stuck to you like glue- always following you wherever you went. You guys were inseparable- often doing things together.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who was fiercely overprotective of you from day one, not letting anyone hurt you.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami Who always claimed to be your hero (not that he was wrong)

“I may not be a superhero right now, but I can be your hero, right y/n-chan?” He exclaimed one day, grinning with a tooth missing.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who quickly introduced you to his sisters after that, claiming that “you guys would get along” (you three gave him a makeover that day)

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who started sharing his lunches with you in the 4th grade every time you forgot them at home. He couldn’t be a hero if he let you starve, right?

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who just watched from a distance when you got your first boyfriend in middle school. He knew you were your own person, entitled to your own feelings. But it still hurt, watching you with that guy.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami and you got into your first major fight in middle school. Kunigami told you about how he had heard your boyfriend talking about you in a horrible, degrading way, and you didn’t believe him. It was full of that classic middle school drama- angry texts to each other and vague social media posts.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami whom you found out was right about your boyfriend. You two had been avoiding each other for about a week now, and after hearing your boyfriend talking about you in that awful way, you promptly broke up either him in front of his friends (and slapped him).

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who comforted you as you apologized to him through tears, promising not to let something as stupid as this to get between you guys ever again

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who was relieved when everything went back to normal (and you broke up with that douchebag). It was the same old routine again. You guys would walk home together as usual- maybe stopping by the konbini to get a snack or two.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who was always a tad bit sad jealous whenever you got with someone. But you looked happy, so that was all that mattered.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who was there for everything. Study sessions, break ups, you name it. You could rely on him for anything.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who comforted you when you found out your boyfriend was cheating on you. You guys had been going strong, but then some girl had sent you a picture of him kissing someone else! You confronted him and the breakup was messy. Kunigami just held you as you rambled on and on about how stupid and worthless you were.

Your ranting is interrupted by a firm voice,“stop.”

You looked up at kunigami.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who then proceeded to tell you that you deserved more. That you were better.

“He cheated on you because he couldn’t see how valuable you are. One day you’ll find someone who actually appreciates you,” Kunigami said in a calming tone. “That day will come, trust me.”

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who was there. All the time. He didn’t have to say anything out loud to show he cared- his actions did that plenty.

You once even caught yourself thinking about how Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami has treated you better than any romantic partner. How he was always there. How he protected you when you guys were young. How he always remembered the small things. You didn’t have to ask- he’d just do it.

You and Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami didnt need words or grand gestures. It started off slow; with gazes lingering a bit too long to claim as ‘platonic’ and touches that teetered on the edge of friendship and romance. It was silent, but there.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who first kissed you goodbye when you guys parted ways outside your house. It was a cold day, but you could feel your once cold cheeks warm up at the sight of Kunigami walking away.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami and you stayed like that for a while; stolen kisses and secret touches nobody else could see. You guys didn’t need to be official. You already had something that didn’t need words.

Childhood Best Friend!Kunigami who finally asked you the question while sitting under a cherry blossom tree at the park.

“Hey, y/n. Do you like me back?” You look at him, cheeks heating up at the question.

You hesitate for a moment, “yeah.”

Kunigami stayed silent for a bit after that, holding your hand.

“Can i be your boyfriend?” Your eyes land on his, gazes meeting.

You smile back at kunigami, “Sure.”

Boyfriend!Kunigami took you out for ice cream later that evening. You guys sat in the small shop, sharing a scoop of ice cream; chatting about everything and nothing. Maybe… this was how it was meant to be all along.

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[x3nawr1tes]

hi hi hi highihhi my beeauygifuk priujfress can i oleaaseeeee have a erm a love at first sight fic with nagi where she’s reos friend that like he recruits to manage the hakuho football team so she like randomly spawns in one day and then nagis like “oh my days… WHY CANT I BREATH AHHHHH!!!!!!!” i lovenyouuuuuu 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

“Love at first sight?”

nagi seishiro x fem!reader

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“Wait what- join the team? As… manager?” You were confused to say the least. You look up from your phone, seeing Reo grin in the afternoon light from the window to your left.

Reo exclaims, “yeah! Exactly! You’ll be our manager. It’ll be pretty easy-“

You interrupt before he can continue. “No… thanks… thank you for the offer anyway-“ you brush it off, but Reo is convinced. The purple haired boy continues.

“You’d be such a great manager y/n! Trust me- you know how to handle people and get them in control-“ To be honest, you had no interest in the soccer team. They were just another school team. It’s not any of your business. You weren’t even interested in the sport anyway, so why bother? There are probably many other people in this school suited for the job… Hell, some people would fight for this job. Getting to see the Reo Mikage up and close playing soccer would be considered a blessing by most.

When Reo asked you to at least consider it, you relented. “Fine- but give me two days to decide,” You continued, “But… I’d like to stop by the field after school to check in.”

Reo gave you that boyish smile, the one that charmed all the girls in the grade. You couldnt deny how your heart beat as you watched him step away, but thats just Reo-kun. He has that effect on everyone. It’s nothing.

Later that afternoon, you walk out the school building to the other side of campus- you havent been in this area in a while, since this is where the first year’s classes are. As you approach the field, you see that familiar tuft of purple hair. There are also some other guys practicing on the field, dribbling (is that what its called?) and shooting balls into the goal. But the thing that intrigues you most is a not-so-familiar white haired guy, on Reo’s back? Is Reo-kun giving him a piggyback ride? At practice? You press your hands against the fence surrounding the giant grassy field, but then back away slightly. Do I look like a creep?

As you observed from your spot by the fence, the more unusual this situation was getting. White haired boy- as you called him- did the bare minimum during drills and had reo carry him, as seen prior. Is he supposed to be an athlete? How is he on the team if he keeps slacking-? Wait- what was that?

“nice goal seishiro-kun!”

“nice! Keep up the good work!” A black haired boy gave him a thumbs up and patted his back.

Reo looked the most ecstatic- from the distance, you could easily tell he was praising the boy. It makes sense.

You barely saw it- from what you could recall, you had seen white haired boy do a turn in the air and shoot the ball into the goal. Ah, so thats why hes on the team, even though hes clearly such a slacker.

~~~~~~~~~ The next day, you went up to Reo-kun at lunch again. It was a struggle, seeing as to the amourn of people surrounding him.

“Reo-kun?” You call out to him. He whips his head toward the sound and sees you, walking forward.

“y/n-san! So, how about that offe-“

You accidentally cut him off, “i accept.” Shit. Did that sound too eager?

Reo’s face goes from shock to happiness. “Really-? But its only been a day- are you sure?”

“Yes. Im sure.” You pause a bit before continuing, “i… i saw your guy’s practice yesterday. I was only there for five minutes- you probably did see me. But i stayed long enough to watch that guy, the one with white hair, make a shot where he jumped in the air and scored-“

You didnt know if it was possibly for reo’s eyes to light up even more, but they did.

“Youre talking about nagi and that insane trickshot, right?” Reo said.

“nagi, hm?” So that was his name.

~~~~~~~~~

That afternoon, you made your way to that same soccer field, where the boys’ team was practicing again. You saw Reo, but your eyes drifted over to that… what was his name? Nagi guy. Right.

Reo spotted you from the distance and waved you over. You speed your pace up a bit and stand next to him, when he calls out all the other guys on the team.

Reo tries grabbing their attention, “Guys! Guys!” The team gathers up around him. You can feel their curious glances. In the back, you see that guy Reo-kun was talking about- Nagi. Wait… how should I address him? I think thats his first name.

Reo nudges you to speak and introduce yourself. Right. “Hello,” you give a slight bow to the boys, “My name is y/n, and i hope you guys will accept me as the new manager of the Hakuho football team. Thank you.”

Once you stand back up, you can clearly see their reactions. Some of them bow, others whisper, and a few are a bit surprised. Your gaze doesnt stay on them long and falls to a familiar white haired boy. There he is- Nagi.

~~~~~~~~~

Nagi knew his life changed when he met Reo.

His once boring, dull life, instantly switched when he met him. Sure, soccer was a hassle and he’d much rather play games, but it was more eventful. At least reo wasn’t much of a hassle.

Nagi wasn’t one for feelings, until you showed up.

Nagi peers at you from behind the other guys,“my name is y/n, and i hope you guys will accept me as the new manager of the Hakuho football team. Thank you,” you rise up from your bow.

hm. She seems formal, he mentally notes.

Practice continues as normal, with them doing all kinda of different drills he forgot the names of. But nagi’s eyes barely left your body. There was something about you that just felt… right

It got worse when you started handing out water bottles to the guys, giving everyone that same gentle smile.

Once it was Nagi’s turn, he glanced at your face and grabbed the bottle out of your hand, your fingers brushing against each other. His breath hitches for a moment.

Nagi spoke up, trying to hide how flustered he was, “thanks.”

“Youre welcome!” There it was. That smile.

Nagi immediately turned away, not wanting to expose himself. Suddenly, everything around him (and you) felt amplified. He could feel his heart beat. He could feel palms sweat. The white haired boy did a double take, looking back at you. You still looking at Nagi. Nagi however, immediately turned his head away at the embarrassment. Shit. Am I weird for doing that? Its just a girl… why am i acting weird? What was happening to him?

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A/n: hihi moot!! anyways this request was rlly fun to write, but srry for the delay (its been months) since its break, im trying to be as productive as possible. I’ll get to your other request soon trust🙏 anyways consider this a little gift for u!!! Hope u enjoyed it and it wad what u wanted ;)

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[x3nawr1tes]

RULES FOR REQUESTING + DNI

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Do Not Interact If….

-if youre homophobic/transphobic (anything in that list). This is a safe space for everyone!

-youre a creep. Dont go asking for nudes…. Because wtf…. just respect me and my boundaries

-if you support anything such as racism, transphobia, pedophilia, zoophilia, etc.

-just be a decent person and have common sense.

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Rules for Requesting:

-NO SMUT. I do not want to write smut, but i am open to suggestive things!

-no kinky shit either. Basically dont request anything in my DNI because i will not write it.

-x reader makes up a large majority of my fanfics, but i am willing to do character x character! Just send in an ask if youre curious, since i usually get to those fast

-just know that it will take me… uh… a while to get to my asks since i am a very busy person, but i try

-i also might ignore your request if im not familiar with the character and i dont want to mischaracterize them OR if youre not specific enough. Please go into DETAIL about what you want- i dont mind at all! I want you to be happy with your request!!!

-i also do platonic requests! However, i am going to assume its romantic unless explicitly stated!!!

-i also do SMAUs! Feel free to req those as well!

-when doing romantic requests, i go with fem!reader as a default, but i can try gn/ make reader for anyone who wants it!

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FANDOMS/CHARACTERS I WILL WRITE FOR:

BLUE LOCK;

Isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro, reo mikage, karasu tabito, rin itoshi, chigiri hyoma, oliver aiku, kunigami rensuke, yukimiya kenyu, and otoya eita

HAIKYUU!!;

hinata shoyo, kageyama tobio, nishinoya yuu, tsukishima kei, sugawara koushi, oikawa toru, iwaizumi hajime, kozume kenma, kuroo tetsuro, yaku morisuke, haiba lev, bokuto koutaro, and akaashi keiji,

SK8 THE INFINITY;

Literally everyone except maybe that red haired government official

LINK CLICK;

Literally everyone/ anyone excluding the twins bc i will not be writing about them. Oh and i wont be writing about anyone thats CURRENTLY dead.

HONKAI: STAR RAIL;

im open to doing anyone except people introduced in amphoreus, since i havent done the quest yet. Just ask, and ill see!

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ready to make your request? Put it in my ask box! 💌

[x3nawr1tes]

XENA’s MASTERLIST…

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This is where you can find all the stories written by Xena herself! (Sorted by fandom, of course)

─〔❨✧✧❩〕─

BLUE LOCK

HAIKYUU!!

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as more and more requests flood in for different fandoms, ill make masterlists and update the tags for each one! Ty for reading, requesting, and interacting with my stories! I really appreciate it!

[x3nawr1tes]

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

…where you can find anything and everything i wrote for this damn sports manga; from x readers to all the gay you want! (Sorted by school, character/ship)

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KARASUNO:

Tsukishima kei:

-“get off of me!”

Nishinoya Yū

-“0 rizz💔💔”

AOBA JOHSAI:

Oikawa torū:

-“who’s she here for?”

-“not your type?!”

[x3nawr1tes]

BLUE LOCK MASTERLIST

…where you can find anything and everything i wrote for this damn sports manga; from x readers to all the gay you want! (Sorted by character/ship)

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KARASU TABITO:

-Ruler of my Heart (smau +written series)

NAGI SEISHIRO:

-“Love at first sight?” (Oneshot)

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE:

-Childhood BFF!Kunigami Headcanons

[x3nawr1tes]

imagine nishinoya fumbling it with like kiyoko’s equally hot friend who’s a manager in training or whatever

i’d like to imagine he just has zero rizz bcs i think that’s funny hehe

pls and tysm in advance!! ☺️

“Zero rizz💔💔💔”

nishinoya yū x fem reader

-when nishinoya first saw you when you were being introduced to the team, he couldnt believe it. Someone as beautiful as kiyoko-san? There was no way that was possible. But his eyes sure were saying the opposite….

-For a while, he was in denial. Surely… surely you had some sort of flaw? But as the days went on and he watched, he couldnt find a single one

-as for you, you were certainly confused as to why he was so… quiet around you. You made your best effort to be nice. But nothing made sense… did you do something wrong

-nishinoya, being nishinoya, develops feelings for you. All of a sudden, hes volunteering to help you out. He offers to hand our waterbottles and towels. You, of course accept the offer gratefully

-you smile gently, “really? Thanks, nishinoya-kun! That’d be such a great help!”

-you were chatting with kiyoko as nishinoya carried all the energy drinks to the rest of the team, insisting he could ‘do it himself’ and proceeds to TRIP.

-not only that, but all the water got on you. It didnt help it was cold… you’d have to change to your normal uniform now.

-you saw the guilty look on his face as he took in your soaked appearance. “oh my god- are you alright-?!”

-“y-yeah. Im fine” you shrug it off.

-“im so so sorry!” The brown haired boy proceeded to bow to you. “Let me get you a towel-!”

-you stop him from running away. “Nishinoya-kun. Its alright, really. An honest mistake. I have spare clothes in my locker. Ill just change into my uniform- you focus on getting the waterbottles filled back up, kay?“

-“k-kay…” he mumbled as your figure disappeared in the distance. The rest of the team teased him about it later; how he was practically stuttering like a romance manga girl…

-it didnt help that the next few days, whenever he tried to help you, he would do something similar and screw up. Handing out towels? He dropped them on the floor beforehand. Helping you record stats? He couldnt remember any numbers! (Because you were there)

-And its not like he even looked cool during practice anymore! You’d often catch nishinoya distracted, looking in your direction and then making a terrible play. Weird.

-the teasing didnt stop. Unbeknownst to you, the karasuno guys didnt stop teasing him about his crush on you. How ‘pathetic’ he was for tripping in front of you and screwing everything up. Yeah. He decided. This was hell.

-you’ve been co-manager for the team for about two months now and you’ve often noticed how nishinoya acts around you. You assumed he was the type that needed time to adjust to new people, but you’ve been attending practices for two months now!

-one day, when practice ran late, you decide to get to the bottom of it.

-“nishinoya-kun. May i talk to you for a bit? In private please.” you gave that sweet smile, praying he would say sure. And he did.

-you clear your throat before continuing. “I’ve… i’ve noticed how clumsy and nervous you get when im around. Please dont take this weirdly- but am i bothering you?”

-“no-! Of course not-” Nishinoya denies, his cheeks reddening.

-“are you sure? I mean, if im making you uncomfortable- i can back off.” You offer, not wanting to make Nishinoya uncomfortable. Are there other guys on the team that feel like this? Your thoughts spiral, but nishinoya speaks up again.

-“q-quite the opposite actually-“ his face reddens even more and he covers his mouth, “I-i mean- not in that way-“ nishinoya ends up burying his face into his hands to avoid further embarrassment.

-“i-i mean- forget i said anything!” And with that, he rushes off to the other guys.

-youre left standing there, confused. Huh? Did i do something wrong?

-and its not until youre home in the shower that you realize why he might be so nervous. Oh…!

-eh… well… maybe nishinoya’s patheticness is kind of cute…

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a/n: im SO SO SO sorry it takes me so long to do reqs! But anyways, break started so im locking in snd being productive 👅👅👅 for this req, i tried out a bullet point format that i see other writers do. Tbh it makes the whole thing easier to write and i dont stress as much as i do over oneshots😓 anyways ty all for reading!!!

[x3nawr1tes]

REPENT MOTHERFUCKER!

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welcome to my writing blog!

here, you’ll find my masterlist

Have a request? Place it here! But before that, take a look at the rules

have fun!

my main is @x3nafix

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[x3nawr1tes]

THEME COOKEDDDDD

heh ty😍🤤🤤🤤 i love stocking💜💜💜‼️‼️