xlmibby

[xlmibby]

this hits different after knowing mc literally died in his arms and he had to watch her disappear like she never existed in the first place. like he made her up in his mind like some kind of delusional young boy who doesn't know better and chooses to believe - hopelessly, foolishly - in fairytales and happy endings.

perhaps, he was young and naive back then. perhaps, he still is...

but rafayel still remembers her– no. he can feel her.

the warmth that reminds him of golden rays of sunshine melting into the ocean. the soft touch of her fingers tracing mindless shapes across his back. with a cheeky grin, he teased her about how she's probably practicing to carve her name onto his skin later on. she only laughed then, and drew a small clumsy heart on his shoulder before pressing her lips against the side of his neck.

what a fool he was. joking about her marking him up; as if she already didn't sink deep into his bones long before that moment so even after centuries, he'll still remember her.

now she haunts his dreams and makes his heart ache– because it's too much. it hurts. this yearning is too big for his body. it hurts. it cuts way too deep, and ripping his heart off his chest wouldn't hurt as much as longing for her does. he's waiting and waiting until days morph into one never-ending cycle of pain; and rafayel is left there, in the cold confines of his room, as his emotions slowly bleed out onto the fine paper and wishes he could feel you in his arms. just one more time.

...and then, he swears he would never let you go again.

rafayel loves having you in his arms.

when you're asleep, he's always keeping your body pressed against his. even if it gets too warm for the two of you to stick together in the way-too-warm-to-exist kind of summer night, he doesn’t even budge. neither does he lift his heavy arm when you try to sneak out in the morning to prepare a cup of coffee for yourself; because there's nothing rafayel would rather be then in your arms, feeling your heartbeat melting with his.

it's silly but endearing in a way.

once, you suggested rafayel that he needs a bigger bathtub. since he spends a lot of time in the water, it would be much more comfortable if he could have a bigger space. much to your shock, though, he didn't agree. rafayel didn't give you a logical reason besides a pouty 'i don’t want to'; but you quickly realized why he said it.

he wants you to be close.

when you're sinking in the warm water with him, rafayel yearns to feel your skin against him, chest pressed against chest, legs tangled together as if your two beings - so different, so distant in the past - are now becoming one.

it's impossible to tell where he begins and you end.

you sink into his lap, leaning in until his lips brush against the side of your throat and his breath tickles your skin. his hands are on your waist, sliding down to the curve of your hips. then, slowly and gently, he starts to press open-mouthed kisses against your racing pulse as if he needs to leave none of your body untouched, as if he needs to devour you before his hunger swallows him whole–

but still, it's not enough. your closure is never quite enough.

he wants - no, needs - more... so, so much more...

so you find rafayel clinging onto you more and more as the days go by.

you might be busy preparing a cup of coffee but rafayel will still remain right behind you. with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and his chin on your shoulders, he has you right where he wants - pressed up against him.

sometimes, he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck until the tip of his nose brushes against your racing pulse. other times, his fingers drum in a steady rhythm over your hipbones.

if only you peek at rafayel during those moments, you'll be able to notice how the edges of his lips curl up and the small pout morphs into even smaller content smile that tells you everything.

when you're this close to him, he wishes you can stay like this forever.

[xlmibby]

A bond everlasting

[xlmibby]

i wrote xavier smut like it’s nothing and now i’m shy to post it because he’s a freak here 🫠 if you want to read it, click !!!HERE!!! and enjoy^^

[xlmibby]

rafayel loves having you in his arms.

when you're asleep, he's always keeping your body pressed against his. even if it gets too warm for the two of you to stick together in the way-too-warm-to-exist kind of summer night, he doesn’t even budge. neither does he lift his heavy arm when you try to sneak out in the morning to prepare a cup of coffee for yourself; because there's nothing rafayel would rather be then in your arms, feeling your heartbeat melting with his.

it's silly but endearing in a way.

once, you suggested rafayel that he needs a bigger bathtub. since he spends a lot of time in the water, it would be much more comfortable if he could have a bigger space. much to your shock, though, he didn't agree. rafayel didn't give you a logical reason besides a pouty 'i don’t want to'; but you quickly realized why he said it.

he wants you to be close.

when you're sinking in the warm water with him, rafayel yearns to feel your skin against him, chest pressed against chest, legs tangled together as if your two beings - so different, so distant in the past - are now becoming one.

it's impossible to tell where he begins and you end.

you sink into his lap, leaning in until his lips brush against the side of your throat and his breath tickles your skin. his hands are on your waist, sliding down to the curve of your hips. then, slowly and gently, he starts to press open-mouthed kisses against your racing pulse as if he needs to leave none of your body untouched, as if he needs to devour you before his hunger swallows him whole–

but still, it's not enough. your closure is never quite enough.

he wants - no, needs - more... so, so much more...

so you find rafayel clinging onto you more and more as the days go by.

you might be busy preparing a cup of coffee but rafayel will still remain right behind you. with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and his chin on your shoulders, he has you right where he wants - pressed up against him.

sometimes, he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck until the tip of his nose brushes against your racing pulse. other times, his fingers drum in a steady rhythm over your hipbones.

if only you peek at rafayel during those moments, you'll be able to notice how the edges of his lips curl up and the small pout morphs into even smaller content smile that tells you everything.

when you're this close to him, he wishes you can stay like this forever.

[xlmibby]

in contrary to the popular belief, caleb isn't that insanely intense during your first time together.

it's not that he doesn't want to be. quite the opposite - he would sell his soul to the devil just to get a taste of you, to be able to fill you up so well you wouldn't be able to ever think about somebody else.

he can imagine it all– he can taste it on his tongue, almost. how pretty you'd look with his cock between your mouth and his hand on the back of your head, keeping you exactly where he needs you. or on your back with your skirt pushed up so he can watch the way it slides between your folds before sinking in, pushing in fast and hard, and–

a shaky inhale, followed by the twitch of his cock.

his fingers tremble with the sheer desire to take everything you have to offer and more - and he does. almost.

it's just... caleb knows you're soft.

you're strong and independent, and resilient - yes, that's true. but still, it doesn’t erase the fact that he's seen you at your lowest.

he held you close while you broke down crying in his arms, when you were shivering from fear so great it felt like the whole world is ending. he knows your insecurities and how many nights you spend tossing and turning while overthinking every single thing - no matter how small and insignificant it might seem.

while that doesn’t make you weak, it makes caleb want to protect you even more. he wants to cherish you, take care of you. you're precious to him - well, he's your gege, after all.

so he bites down his lower lip and holds back. with his eyes closed, he drowns in the sensation of you taking him; of how good it feels to sense you on his skin. you're so soft and warm, and all his.

with every thrust - slow and deep, just to feel you whole when he sinks into you - caleb finds himself silently praying that it will be enough to sate the scorching need running through his veins. that this thirst, this odd hunger for your love, will be quelled now that he's got a taste of how sweet you are, of how perfect you fit right into his arms.

maybe now he won't daydream about using his evol to pin you down with more force, just to make you look up at him and ask for more even though the most feather-light brush of his fingers is enough to make you shiver. in a hushed gasp, you'll tell him you need him as much as he needs you.

perhaps, that will be finally enough for caleb.

...except it's not.

it's never enough; not when it's you caleb can taste on his tongue.

[xlmibby]

if you didn’t stumble upon caleb in skyhaven, would he ever return to your life?

caleb has been thinking about it far too often, the what-if's haunting him even in his sleep. every time he looks at you, he reminds himself of the pain you must have gone through when he was gone but never complained about. not to him, at least.

if caleb can be honest, he has never wanted to leave you. in the perfect case scenario, he would confess to you and you wouldn't mind that he's your gege because you love him all the same. you want him, no matter what others might say.

life isn't a fairy tale, though, and caleb ended up losing everything he had. all his dreams and wishes ended up being shattered, creating a perfect graveyard of broken hopes. as if his past alone didn't cause him enough pain.

but okay. that's fine. he's fine - he's used to suffering. so maybe it was all for the better. maybe it'd be better if he didn't get too close to you when he knows it can destroy both of you.

once the golden boy persona loved by everyone crumbles into pieces... what's left other than pain and misery?

so maybe he should stay in skyhaven forever, far away from the place where he truly longs to be. far away from the only person he has always yearned for - you.

but then, caleb catches a glimpse of you smiling as you make your way towards him; and just like that, his life makes sense again.

you jump into his arms and laughs when his back hits the soft plush of the couch. he inhales, slowly and deeply, but the only thing he can sense is you - your scent filling hie lungs, your warmth seeping through the layers of clothes right into his skin, your voice feeling akin to a soft tremor against his neck...

perhaps, it's just fate. if he didn't die, he would probably never have a chance to be this close to you again. he would never even dream of being allowed to love you this way.

afyer all, back then caleb was just your kindhearted gege. someone who listened to your whining about wanting a boyfriend when he wanted to scream that he can be everything you need.

now - finally - he gets to kiss you senseless and learn your body by heart while slowly running his fingers over the expanse of your skin.

and maybe it was wrong from him to hide away from you and give up his life just to make sure you're safe... but one thing's for sure.

now that caleb has you, he won't let you go ever again.

[xlmibby]

a new caleb fic for you is !!!HERE!!!. it's a mix of guilt and desire and even more guilt and even more sin– but i hope you enjoy it a lot 😶‍🌫️🙏

[xlmibby]

caleb likes you sleeping with your head on his chest.

perhaps, it's the way the pressure keeps him grounded. his night anxiety is usually making his rest time unbearable - both physically and mentally. with you by his side, though, caleb feels more at ease. lighter yet anchored to the safety you offer him, probably without even realizing how much you help him every time you sneak into his bed and allow him to hold you in his arms throughout the night.

although caleb still has trouble to fall asleep sometimes, he doesn’t experience all the terrifying sensations that he's so used to by now. but like a ray of sunshine, you shine your way into his heart that he thinks is rather a doomed place - a graveyard of broken hopes and shattered dreams, just like his life is.

perhaps, though, another reason why caleb likes you sleeping on his chest so much is the fact that he can watch you.

you look pretty like that, on top of him. his sweet temptation that takes the form of the prettiest soft-hearted angel he's ever put his eyes on.

most of the time, caleb just watches you silently and wonders - daydreams - if your lips taste as sweet as they're soft. sometimes, he likes to pat your head and brush his knuckles over your face in the way that makes a simple gesture of affection look almost akin to worship.

this moment is sacred. in the storm of pain that surrounds caleb, your asleep expression so soft even though you're a little messy, with tangled hair and puffed out cheeks; and for a moment - as quick as a heartbeat - you don’t look unreachable.

it's little moments like this, caleb thinks. it's little moment like this, when his lips press against your forehead yet again and your body instinctively moves closer into the touch, that makes his yearning even stronger.

just a little bit of your heart would be enough. if only you saw him as a man you love and not just a gege who always takes care of you... if only you saw right through him and noticed the true extent of his feelings... if only the two of you weren't scared to take a leap of faith and give into what you truly want and need...

right now, though - when your cheek presses against caleb's chest and you nuzzle closer to his body in your sleep, almost as if you're instinctively seeking out his warmth and protection - he can close his eyes and pretend that you're finally his.

[xlmibby]

don't you love it when a man YEARNS?

Xiao's birthday letters to Traveler summarised:

2021 birthday: I caught crystalflies for you. I visualised them in your hair

2022: I listened to starconches on the beach wondering if I'd hear your voice

2023: I visited a friend and they threw a party, please come if you have the time

This birthday, 2024: I dream of you. Do I deserve to dream so sweetly?

In conclusion:

[xlmibby]

cough cough

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[xlmibby]

you might have the highest romantic expectations in the whole universe and rafayel will still make them happen.

you want a boquet of flowers every morning? he already ordered your favorites this morning and proudly says to the shop assistant that it's for the one he loves. you need someone to carry you back home after a tiring afternoon? he's having you in his arms before you can even complain about your feet hurting.

you need compliments? rafayel will say them more times than you need. you saw a cute dress but didn't have enough money for it? he already bought it and sent it to your apartment. you ask for a peck? he's kissing you so deeply it leaves you weak in the knees.

you want him to hold your hand when you're scared of something small? he'll gently reassure you because 'it's fine to feel weak and scared even as an adult'; and he'll stay with you until you calm down. you worry you're too needy? don't worry - rafayel needs you just as much, if not more.

when you're cold, rafayel will give you his jacket and kiss the tip of your freezing nose. his arms remain wrapped around your waist to give you even more of his warmth. once you're back in his place, he'll keep you close to him. for the warmth related reasons, of course.

with his chest against your back and his thumbs tracing soft circles against your waist, rafayel will mutter soft words of affection and place gentle open-mouthed kisses against your skin. again and again and again...

just to make sure you feel all his love.

[xlmibby]

new rafayel fic to celebrate his myth cards' rerun. click HERE to read 💕

[xlmibby]

caleb always says that you're the one who grounds him when he needs it but most of the time, you feel like it's the other way around.

you're strong and independent - you have to be; this world hates seeing weaknesses - but sometimes you feel weak. brittle. like the smallest stupid bad event can break you down into tiny pieces.

you don't show it, nevertheless. you don't like feeling people's pity and hearing 'it's gonna be alright' along with quiet 'you're strong so you'll be fine' or 'i'm sorry you feel like that' when you can't see anything positive in your situation.

even if you don't say anything, caleb seems to know exactly how you feel.

his hand reaches out to hold yours when it starts to tremble from all the emotions you're holding back. he kisses your forehead when you come back home even on your words days and quietly sneaks some of your favorite snacks into your pocket. he pulls you into a hug - sometimes even shamelessly uses his gravity evol to do it - and holds you close then, tightly pressed against him as if he's unconsciously trying to melt a part of you into him just so he can make sure you're safe and sound forever.

you never ask caleb to do anything for you; and yet, he does more than enough.

when the life is making a mess out of your thoughts, you always find yourself listening to his steady heartbeat. caleb runs his fingers through your hair and tells you some meaningless stories. sometimes, he's talking about his life; other times, he's telling you fairytales like some kind of hopeless romantic who believes if he can try hard enough, he can make happy endings exist. he can and will make all your dreams come true.

when cruel fate weighs on your chest, caleb mutters your name - tenderly, fondly - like it's a silent vow, an oath that he's always ready to catch you when you fall so you don't have to be afraid of anything.

demons that keep you up at night, nightmares haunting you when you close your eyes, unlucky days filled with failures that make you feel doomed... it will be alright, though. your gege is here for you to kiss the pain away and make things better.

[xlmibby]

rafayel can't seem to leave you alone.

sometimes it's a bit too intense, you think; when he's pretending to be tired after going with you back to your apartment after a date just so you let him crash at your place for the night. you don't say anything as his arms wrap around your bare waist the next morning, pulling your sore body closer to his chest. his lips brush against the nape of your neck, then, with a raspy whisper that asks you to stay.

you don't answer for a moment, trying to come up with an argument that will be strong enough for rafayel to understand you have to get up. but the moment lasts for a moment too long to his liking.

a breath catches in the back of your throat when rafayel starts to press open-mouthed kisses on your shoulder and trailing his way up your neck.

memories of countless times he's tricked you into making you stay longer than you planned - longer than you should - in his arms, tangled in the bedsheets, with his body pressed so tightly against yours that you can't even tell anymore where he starts and you end.

you know rafayel uses the same old method on you again. you know he's coaxing you to bend right into his wishes, give in the way he wants you to - because he needs you. in his arms, with your lips moving against his and his hips pressing harder against yours - faster, deeper - in a way that makes your body arch into his.

rafayel always touches you like he wants to devour you.

like he can't get enough until his name is etched in the deepest parts of your soul. like he wants to melt all your rational thoughts away so all that remains is desire that matches his own hunger nothing can quell.

you know it all... and yet...

you're so, so weak when you feel his fingertips sliding over your skin. no matter how much you'd try to push rafayel away, he'd still find a way to make you shiver with the way he's tracing the curves of your bare body as if he wants to learn it by heart once again. and again, and again–

until all you'll be able to remember will be the sound of his name lingering forever on the tip of your tongue.

[xlmibby]

one thing about rafayel - he stares at you. a lot.

it was a bit weird, at first, to be an object of fascination. pimples, stretch marks and not-as-perfect-as-you'd-like figure are normal. you know it. your insecurities dig their claws into your skin until it prickles, nonetheless.

so in the end, you want nothing but to scratch it and hide somewhere where his eyes can't reach. somewhere where your demons can calm down in the darkness and you finally stop thinking about all your little insecurities.

honestly, attention is a weird thing. it's kind of scary, kind of exciting... you're not quite sure if it's because of your overanalyzing your imperfections or the way rafayel seems to focus solely on you, but your heart races each time you catch him staring.

you definitely should hide somewhere; for the sake of your own sanity.

perhaps even then, though, you wouldn't be able to erase the burning weight of his gaze that always follows you everywhere you go, clinging onto your skin as if it's a part of you. everywhere you go, rafayel follows and keeps his eyes on you while closely observing... you're not even sure what he's looking at.

or maybe, just maybe, you don’t want to admit it in front of yourself.

because you can clearly see rafayel's eyes sliding over your collarbones and the swell of your breast down to your waist and hips. he watches with a breathtaking precision the way your lips move when you say his name and how the corners of your mouth curl up each time you try to bite down a smile. his eyes meet yours for a fleeting moment and then, glide down to your lips again. rafayel's breath hitches when you swallow and your throat bobs.

fondness bleeds into desire and reflects in rafayel's eyes. but it's only when his mouth trace over each mark and curve of your body - when rafayel mutters breathy words of praise for your beauty that end up being a muffled tremor against your skin - that you realize he wants you. all of you, just the way you are.

[xlmibby]

rafayel doesn't know how to handle you feeling under the weather - or more like, he's afraid to do anything in case it could possibly hurt you. the thing is, he doesn't want to see you in pain caused by sickness, either.

before you can tell rafayel it's not that serious, he's already doing a throughout research about cold medicines and some old practices that help humans feel better.

it's a bit strange; to watch him being so focused on something that's not painting and creating art in general, watching the sea while sitting on the beach, taking long baths filled with various scented oils... or making you come undone on his tongue.

your thighs press together at the thought.

the imagines of all the nights you've spent tangled in his bedsheets suddenly feel way too vivid. even now, in the haze of sickness, you still remember his lips on your racing pulse and how his name came out in soft breathless gasps, getting louder each time his hips rolled against yours. your hands on his shoulders, his fingers ghosting your sides as he kept on taking you, deeper and deeper–

suddenly, rafayel groans.

your eyes widen at the sound. before you can ask him what's wrong, he erases the distance between the two of you.

the next thing you know is that his lips are already pressing against yours.

rafayel's kisses are just like you remembered them, hot and wanting, leaving you breathless and dizzy. you melt into sensations, allowing them to flow in when rafayel's hand cups your cheek and angles your face to deepen the kiss to his liking. the way he swallows your quiet moans makes it look as if the proximity between the two of you isn't quite enough yet. not when you are the one he's starving on.

you lean back just to take a deep breath– but rafayel pulls you in, kissing you again.

you don't know how much time passes when rafayel's lips slowly trail off yours. you almost whine at the loss - you still want more, you need more - but then, you feel a kiss in the corner of your mouth. then, his lips move down on your cheek, pressing a feather-light peck once and twice and...

his mouth slides over the curve of your jaw; and before you know it, open-mouthed kisses are all over the side of your neck.

rafayel mutters something against your skin, his voice muffled so you can barely make out what he's actually trying to say. once you understand him, though, your breath hitches in the back of your throat.

rafayel wants to make you feel better with his kisses.

probably, you should tell him it won't help you cure faster - quite the opposite, you will give all your germs to him. but when his lips slowly slide over the curve of your jaw, you can't find it in yourself to do anything other than pulling him closer. you can't get enough of the sweet taste his kisses leave on your tongue.

maybe rafayel right. maybe he is all you need right now.

[xlmibby]

caleb has always been taking care of you. no matter what happened in your life, he was always by your side like an anchor that kept you put together when you felt like everything you touched was slowly falling apart.

it's no surprise, then, that he's taking care of you now that you're sick.

you're not surprised, though. not really. it's just… it feels different now.

you're older, more mature. sure, caleb has been taking care of you since the two of you've been kids. he's your gege, after all; and it was natural to baby you a little when you were just a little child.

so he kissed bruises on your arms and took care of your scrapped knees. he carried you when you felt too tired to go back home after shopping and patted your head gently when you scored an a on some hard quiz that half of your class almost failed.

caleb has been nothing but caring towards you when you were young. the best gege you could ever dream of.

but now you're an adult. and in adult life, there's no place for soft and gentle care.

you've learned that the world doesn't stop when you feel bad and - much to your frustration - you have to push through the hardships most of the time. on your own. even if it makes you feel worse and you cry yourself to sleep. not that it matters, though. even after the worst mental breakdown you have to work hard when the next morning comes.

you sink deeper into the soft mattress of your bad, feeling your forehead getting warm yet again.

you mumble the words that caleb can't baby you forever to yourself, a pout tugging at the corners of your lips. he hears it, nonetheless; and in the blink of an eye he's already in front of you, tugging at the hem of the fluffy blanket you wrapped yourself in.

his hand cups your cheek when you huff that you can take of yourself. an unreadable emotion sharpens his gaze, then. yet he remains awfully patient with you. caring.

you don't know why it makes you nervous.

logically speaking, you shouldn't be nervous when caleb is just making sure you get back to health again.

you silently watch him as he's placing various medicines on your nighstand along with the steaming cup of freshly brewed tea. he's making sure you called in sick and that you are going to the doctor's office if the cold doesn't go away after a few days. he's reassuring you that he'll help you recover quickly.

it's all the usual routine caleb has done it countless times. and yet…

suddenly, his forehead presses against yours to take your temperature. it's the same way he's used to do it when the two of you were kids. his thumb brushes against your cheek, softly and slowly, as if he's trying to coax you into something - what exactly, you're not quite sure.

it's hard to tell, anyway– it's hard to think when caleb is so close. too close.

although you're the one with the fever now, his touch almost burns.

unmoving, you hold in a breath as caleb leans in even more until the tip of his nose brushes against the side of yours. his breath flutters against your parted lips. instinctively, your eyes close.

you half-expect caleb to lean back, say that your fever is high so you have to stay in bed for a few more days and he'll stay with you to take care of you. maybe he'll laugh at the way you shivered when he was only taking your temperature - so why did you overreact and close your eyes? why are you so flustered when he's just your gege?

anticipation makes your skin tingle, and you're almost sure that the warmth rushing to your cheeks isn't only a sign of catching a cold. the side of caleb's nose presses against yours, his lips almost grazing against yours.

right. you're not kids anymore.