ya-leshaya - Tumblr blog

[ya-leshaya]

My lame attempt in translation of Olga Bergholz poem. She was a Russian poet who survived Leningrad blockade.

***

You know, this anxious quiet still frightens me more

Than everything else that was left after war.

So quiet that every thought of this war

Is louder than a cry, a howl, or a roar.

People growled, and crawled, and writhed here with pain.

Their blood rose above the ground, hardly drained…

Now it’s just quiet. So quiet that it seems -

Forever and ever It will stay like this.

No ploughman, no farmer, no working man

Will ever return to this quiet land.

It’s quiet and silent, it’s not death and not life.

It’s cutting me deeper than any sharp knife.

It’s not death and not life—it’s hardest despair

That mute us, deprive us even from prayers.

This anxious silence is innocent victim’s revenge—

Their knowledge and memories hidden behind the death edge.

[ya-leshaya]

The black February by Ekaterina Shulman (part 1, how did we get to this)

You know, sitting like this and waiting drives me mad. I'm against this war; it's shameful and painful to understand that your own country started it.

So i decided at least share with you some words of my favourite Russian political expert Ekaterina Shulman. She is my bright star in this dark time. I understand that the translation isn't any good, it's just... mostly for me to keep my sanity.

Hello, my dear friends!

Today is the 27th of February 2022. We decided to change slightly the format of our traditional monthly stream but still carry it on. We do not know whether we will have such an opportunity in the future, whether YouTube will be available in Russia, whether we will be available for each other in Russia, whether we will keep the Internet itself, whether we will meet the last Saturday of next month, and what we will do at that moment. Nevertheless, while we had this opportunity, we decided to use it and look at each other. Well, now you can see me, I can only imagine you, but I hope there is at least someone there.

A year ago, we carried out the first stream. We have not known back then that it would become regular. Its goal was to raise money for those organizations that provide informational and legal support to protestors. It was 2021 with its mass protests in Russia and mass reactive repressions. With your help, we raised a huge amount of money back then. We divided it into three parts, for three organizations. By the way, we are going to address this question later, because all three organizations function, so we are going to mention them when we start the part with practical advice. After that, we decided to carry out this practice on monthly basis, and it carried out like that until now. You know, there is this popular Internet mem “This escalated very quickly”. It was quickly indeed.

So, I gathered your questions for this stream… how they say, “Open comments in your Telegram channel and imagine yourself the speaker of the parliament.” There was an incredible amount of them, but I easily divided them into three groups. The first one, “how did we get to this situation?”, the second one, “what will be next?”, and the third one, “what should we do?” or, more accurately, “what can we do?”. The third group is practical and not philosophical. We will try to address all three groups, although we keep in mind that we cannot make nor definite prognosis, nor long-term plans, nor hundred-percent recommendations. Since our last meeting, our life has changed, and those changes will affect us for a long time. We cannot return to the previous state. We are going through a tunnel, and there we can rely only on each other, on our patience and strength. No more resources left.

As for the first question, “how did we get to this situation?”. Obviously, political experts, and historians, and all other social scientists will address this question and answer it differently for long and long decades. Obviously, for us it is the key point of this century, it is a turning point, although we do not know yet where this turn will lead us. Well, if researchers and readers of researches are left, then those researches will start to appear one day. And I think they will.

We have one problem and that problem lies in our mind’s nature. When something happens, we think that all previous events logically and inevitably have led to it. We connect all scattered dots in a stern straight line. However, we have to be aware that if something other happened, it would seem logical and inevitable as well. Why do I pay attention to it? Because the seemingly incontrovertible thesis “everything has led to that”, “it couldn’t be any other way” diffuses accountability (like many popular theses). If something was inevitable, one could think that those who started all that are not so accountable, they are just wax in Doom’s hands, history’s hands, etc., as well as we are. That is not how it works.

Everyone should be accountable for their actions, as our poet Grigory Oster said. Largely, it were actions of politics that caused the twentieth century’s tragedies; they applied such instruments as mass terror, aggressive war, and genocide to achieve their political goals. If they had not had done it, it would not have happened. Looking back, we hardly could say that holocaust was inevitable after all centuries of German history and everything led to it. Of course, there are such opinions and researches, there are quite convincing stories. But I would ask you to look back and think whether it is convincing for you. Is not the idea that people with power use it however they want more convincing?

If anything, the lack of a check and balance system at one specific moment and one specific place makes something like this possible. The lack of a check and balance system and not all course of history. It seems that the final conclusion (if there will be someone in the future to conclude anything out of it) will result in a well-known fact: a high concentration of power is extremely dangerous. If it does not lead to some kind of catastrophe (although, we see that it happens over and over again), it does not mean that it is safe or effective at the very least, that it could be used for a good cause. Well, maybe a long time ago it was possible; maybe, once there was a place for enlightened absolutism and authoritative modernization. But even in peaceful times, we liked to remind: there are dozens of authoritative leaders who led their people to war and poverty against one and only Singaporean leader Lee Kuan Yew who managed to carry out authoritative modernization. In most cases, we see only authoritarianism without any modernization. If we live through it, then the next task for humankind will be a building of a new system of international relationships and additional check and balance mechanisms, including intrastate mechanisms. They should prevent the creation of political models resulting in such consequences.

I won't promise I continue this project. I have to admit, it's mostly for me.

[ya-leshaya]

Leshaya

See Leshaya’s existing works here.

Preferred contact methods: Email: yaleshaya@gmail.com Discord: Lesh#0224

Preferred organizations: - International Rescue Committee - Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders) - Rainbow Railroad - Room to Read - World Central Kitchen (See the list of approved organizations here)

Will create works that contain: Cross-stitch embroidery with a single character or a pairing or a symbol or a pairing symbol, based on a pre-existed scheme.

Will not create works that contain: Nudity, blood, gore, sex and any other explicit content (except for the explicity words)

– Craft or Merchandise –

Auction ID: 1187

Will create works for the following relationships: Tony Stark-centric - MCU Steve Rogers-centric - MCU Loki-centric - MCU Bruce Banner-centric - MCU Natasha Romanov-centric - MCU Thor-centric - MCU Avengers Team-centric - MCU Steve Rogers & Tony Stark - MCU Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - MCU

Work Description: I am offering a cross-stitch embroidery based on a pre-existed scheme. I’d like to use schemes of these authors: 1) XCrossStitchPatternX 2) MandarinksDesign 3) RichBeachCrossStitch 4) awesomepatternstudio But if you have some other schemes in mind, it can be discussed. Although, the size of the final work shouldn’t be more than 25x25 cm. I’ll cover the price of materials (the scheme, the canvas, needles and threads). The winner need to be comfortable with providing me with a shipping address. Also the winner should cover the price of packaging and postage to them from Russia. It’ll take me around half a year to do all the work, due to all my other obligations.

Ratings: Gen, Teen

Can pods bid on this auction? No - I’d rather not be bid on by pods

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

The auction runs from October 17 (12 AM ET) to October 23 (11:59:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!

[ya-leshaya]

These are examples of my embroidered works. It's just... My hobby, I guess 😅

[ya-leshaya]

The MTH mod team is proud to bring back Marvel Trumps Hate for a fourth run! Inspired by Stony Trumps Hate and Fandom Trumps Hate, our purpose is to encourage fandom unity while raising money for nonprofit organizations that work to protect civil rights, marginalized and oppressed communities, and the environment.

Our fandom-wide fundraiser auction raised $38,250 USD for charity with the help of 273 generous creators and hundreds of bidders last year. This year, we’re looking forward to raising just as much awareness and money for some Marvel-ous causes!

Creator sign-ups will open in one month’s time, on Sunday, September 12, 12 AM ET (Eastern Time). Creators may offer different types of works such as fics, art, edits, videos, beta services, crafts, and more for any character, ship, or universe in the Marvel multiverse.

Sign-ups will run until Saturday, September 25, 11:59 PM ET, which should give everyone plenty of time to think about what they’d like to offer, spread the word, and sign up as a creator!

There will be a preview week, from October 10 to October 16, during which potential bidders can peruse all the auctions and start building their list of fanworks to bid on. We will also use this time to make corrections to auction pages before bidding begins.

The 2021 MTH Auction Week will then run from October 17 to October 23. All auction times are in ET. If you’re in a different time zone, you can convert times here.

Please follow us for updates and visit our About, How To Participate, Schedule, and FAQ pages for more information. If you have any questions after doing so, you can contact us here!

We believe our fandom is a caring community determined to help those in need just like the superheroes we love so much, so let’s unite, organize, and pay it forward. As the Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes theme song goes, “assembled, we are strong”!

[ya-leshaya]

So… the author wrote porno-sequel to this fic and I’d want to ask whether it will be interesting for anyone >_>. Explicit scenes take a lot of effort to translate so it’s always hard to make yourself work on them.

Daisy Miracle

Read it on AO3

by Leshaya

So maybe if Steve tore apart the daisy’s petals one by one, the last petal would predict something he dreamt about for so long, against all odds? Maybe a tiny daisy miracle would happen amid steel and steam mechanisms, robots and zeppelins, amid a new strange world which almost forgot how to walk and started to run and fly?

Words: 3443, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Tentacles, Romance, Translation

Read it on AO3

[ya-leshaya]

I'm sad that stony is not as active as it used to be :( no ship I try has this much depth and chemistry and history and flexibility :(( I still have a lot of ideas to write for them but feel like it's not worth the effort anymore if no one is reading? the stats are just so low and people have forgotten where the comment button is apparently. thank you for still being here!!!

I'm sad with the downturn, too, but that's probably to be expected with no new content. On the other hand, the people who are left must be die-hards, right??? That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it! I have definitely noticed a decrease in engagement, and it sucks, not going to lie. It does make me cherish the comments and questions and such that I do get even more and look for ways (like discord and finding cheerreaders) to get that shot of motivation that I need, though I realize it is probably easier for some than for others.

On the bright side, we have lots of fandom events, some new zines coming our way, and even a Podcast! That's pretty cool. Not to mention years of comic history to mine and more to look forward to there, plus some amazing writers and artists who are committed to the ship. Even when I get down, I try to make myself remember how truly special this fandom is for me.

[ya-leshaya]

And my final filk for @stevetonygames. Music is Radioactive by Imagine Dragons.

Tony is a pirate, and Steve is his Captain.

I’m waking up to blood and gore

I always want to have much more

I'm breathing in the inshore wind

I'm kissing hard my favorite lips

Then set the sails on my big ship

My sable brings the apocalypse

I'm waking up

I feel it in my bones

We rule all kingdom’s thrones

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

And I’m a pirate

I’m a pirate

And I’m a pirate

I’m a pirate

I raise my flag and change my clothes

My Captain is the one I chose

We're ready for the boarding fight

I'm kissing hard my favorite lips

Then set the sails on my big ship

My sable brings the apocalypse

I'm waking up

I feel it in my bones

We rule all kingdom’s thrones

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

And I’m a pirate

I’m a pirate

And I’m a pirate

I’m a pirate

Pirates must sail

Enemies must die

We drink our ale

To our victims’ cries

I'm waking up

I feel it in my bones

We rule all kingdom’s thrones

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

And I’m a pirate

I’m a pirate

And I’m a pirate

I’m a pirate

[ya-leshaya]

I ♡ readers

here’s to the readers who stay up past midnight reading just one more chapter

here’s to the readers who like one fic - so they go through our archive and read everything else

here’s to the readers who are still learning the language of the fic they’re reading, but they’re making it through anyhow

here’s to the readers who are too shy to tell us how much they love our story, so they just tell all of their friends about it instead

here’s to the readers who kudos - and then comment “kudos” when they can’t do it again

here’s to the readers who make rec lists or run fic reccing blogs

here’s to the readers who give out prompts and ask for metas and suggest ideas of things they’d love to see

here’s to the readers who hide their phones so that no one sees what they’re reading, but omg this fic is just so good!

here’s to the readers who keysmash, reaction gif, tag, comment, quote us back to us, and otherwise let us know that they loved our work

here’s to the readers

without you, we don’t exist

[ya-leshaya]

POV Business Modeller

For the @stevetonygames. If you ever wonder how business modellers watch Marvel movies, I can explain it to you. Just look at this chart, please:

[ya-leshaya]

sit in the middle and know - podfic

Read it on AO3

by Leshaya

Words: 32, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers

Relationships: James “Rhodey” Rhodes & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes

Read it on AO3

[ya-leshaya]

That strange boy in Stark Industries

Aaaaaand one more filk for @stevetonygames. The office AU, where Tony sees Cap in SI headquarters and falls in love at first sight. But Cap stubbornly hides his name. Maybe he is... undercover?

Music is My Medicine by Pretty Reckless.

That strange boy in Stark Industries

That strange boy in Stark Industries

So I sleep where I work and I work till I die

At mornings I’m high and at evenings I fly

Got a woman to my left

And a guy to my right

But I see him here and

It is a strike, oh

That strange boy in Stark Industries

Once again, what’s his name?

That strange boy in Stark Industries

He appears like a flame

That strange boy in Stark Industries

Somehow he’s in my head again

That strange boy in Stark Industries – again, again

And I seek him inside, and I look for his eyes

He is blond, he is hot. What is it on his mind?

Not a woman to my left

Not a guy to my right

Just a “Cap” on his badge

So how to find him?

That strange boy in Stark Industries

Once again, what’s his name?

That strange boy in Stark Industries

He appears like a flame

That strange boy in Stark Industries

Somehow he’s in my head again

That strange boy in Stark Industries – again, again

So I write an email

To the whole fucking office

And I cannot exhale

Till he calls back to promise

That we’ll go on a date

And it will be woohoo.

Now we sleep at my home and we fuck all the time

We are deeply in love so it is not a crime

Only one question left

And it is my deep shame

I still call him by “Cap”

Once again, what’s his name?

That strange boy in Stark Industries

Once again, what’s his name?

That strange boy in Stark Industries

He appears like a flame

That strange boy in Stark Industries

Somehow he’s in my head again

That strange boy in Stark Industries – again, again

[ya-leshaya]

О Captain! my Captain!

Read it on AO3

by Leshaya

Almost like in Whitman’s poem.

Words: 172, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Civil War, Poetry, Translation, Angst

Read it on AO3

[ya-leshaya]

Steve Rogers is a vandwelling working nomad who leaves his hometown after his husband disappears to be "houseless" and travel around the United States…

My first ever moodboard for @stevetonygames

[ya-leshaya]

One more filk for @stevetonygames. Tony loses his memory and tries to remember all his life among Avengers with the help of Mind Stone.

The original song is Once Upon a December from the old cartoon Anastasia.

Once Upon an Avenger

Fighting guys, a firm shield

Things I almost remember

A canvas someone paints

Once upon an Avenger

Someone holds me safe and warm

We fly stubbornly through the storm

Rushing forward headily

Across my memory

Far away, long ago

A stone shines as an ember

Reminds my heart that it knows

Things it yearns to remember

A canvas someone paints

Once upon an Avenger

[ya-leshaya]

And one more filk for @stevetonygames. Cyberpunk, that is! POV Tony Stark, brilliant cyberhacker.

Neon Red

When Rogers joins me in my bed

Digital ghosts avoid the highways in my head

I feel like rising from the dead

And see the world in neon red

My thoughts weave in one thread

All words run away and flick somewhere far ahead

My cyber arms touch him instead

I see the world in neon red

The mind and the spirit amplified

Running out on the edge

Running out on the edge

To break every limit, maximize

Running out on the edge

Running out on the edge

He paints me with his pencil lead

He laughs and says that we will never, never shred

With him I feel no creeping dread

In this cold world of neon red

The mind and the spirit amplified

Running out on the edge

Running out on the edge

To break every limit, maximize

Running out on the edge

Running out on the edge

I see the world in neon red

[ya-leshaya]

My first filk, thanks to @stevetonygames. They really can make you travel in uncharted waters… and it’s so cool!

Warriors (made from Imagine Dragons - Warriors)

As a teen, Steve would wait,

And watch, and fight a bit.

But he always knew that he'll be the one

That serve like they all did.

And he, he came to recruit and made a shot

Of a serum to turn to the warrior

He dreamt about.

Here they are, to save the world now,

They are the warriors who are in love.

Here they are, to save the world now,

They are the warriors who are in love

Till death.

The time once came, when Tony had to rise

Above himself, build Iron Man,

Survive in dirt and dust.

And then he had to overcome the past.

The strongest warrior that always had

An energetic blast.

Here they are, to save the world now,

They are the warriors who are in love.

Here they are, to save the world now,

They are the warriors who are in love

Till death.