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MFIP CHAPTER IS OUT🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️

Check it out cuz goddamn it’s a ride…

ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Ten

A/N: Hello hello hello folks~! Chapter Ten is out at last! I don't really have anything to yap about for this chapter, so I will just let y'all read it for yourselves. The only thing I would like to celebrate is the fact we are now officially in the final saga of Arc 1. It'll be ending soon within the next few chapters and boy oh BOY am I excited! Obviously, the story still has a shit ton more Arcs to go, but our first one is reaching its end. Welp anywhizzle, enjoy the chapter everyone :3

CREDIT To the MFIP Team: Thank you to @yosajaeofficial, @randomcerealbrand, misfortun3_ismyname (on TikTok), @chaoticspeedrun, @ramblehour and @goldanrabbit for being my lovely editors!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Chapter One

DISCLAIMER: Chapter involves verbal bullying, neglect, manipulative speech and behavior, gaslighting, light physical harassment, light body shaming, self-degradation, suicidal ideation, and curse words. If you're sensitive to that, scroll past and stay safe!

The sun shone through the cloudless, blue sky. Vibrant yellow-green leaves decorated the trees, hiding the birds singing from the safety of their cover. Summer is definitely approaching. And with summer, comes a two month vacation away from everyone.

I’m glad Jaiden and I could squeeze some time together today. I’m cursed with bad luck when it comes to my friends’ parents, and that’s only amplified with Jaiden’s overly strict ones. Their mom took one look at me and told them I was the “cunning” type. I guess it’s better than being called innocent again. Once school’s over, we won’t be able to see each other more than once or twice the entire vacation! Not to mention, we’ve barely even hung out this school year. It’s… It’s been a while. Such a long, long while…

It’s weird. When we were younger, it felt like we were inseparable. I suppose there was less to do and more time to kill, so we’d spend as much of it together as we could, all the way from the very beginning. The first day of middle school—and in turn, the first day we met—started in early September. It actually looked kinda like today: bright and sunny; maybe just a little chillier, though. I remember how eager I was. I only just got some proper stability that year, so 6th grade would be my long overdue chance to live a proper life. I didn’t want much, just a friend or two to spend my days with.

I’m pretty sure I met Jaiden in seventh period; I know for sure it was during science class, since I vividly recall our teacher moving our desks together. They were quiet and short with me, but I was too excited and/or desperate to take that as rejection. I kept trying in small increments, cracking jokes and making them laugh a bit more each day. Eventually, it worked! They began seeking me out and silently sitting next to me whenever they found me.

I didn’t have much luck making other friends, and neither did Jaiden. Sure, there were other people we’d talk to but none would deem us a friend. Dustin was a bit of an ass, even before him and Jaiden broke up this year, so I don’t think he ever counted. As far as I knew, we only had each other. It was lonely sometimes, but I’ll never stop being grateful for Jaiden sticking around me.

I do feel guilty, though. I know there were some people who wouldn’t talk to Jaiden simply because Jaiden was friends with me. I held them back.

When we transferred to Roosevelt, Jaiden told me things had to be different here.

“We can’t keep being the school’s losers, Salena! Now’s our chance to finally start fresh and act like middle school never happened! No one here knows us. Shouldn’t we use that to our advantage?”

Thankfully, Jaiden’s got way more friends now and seems to be really happy here. They’re not quite as popular as they’d hoped, but it’s a major improvement! Me? Not so lucky. I’m, once again, the grade’s outcast, but I don’t mind. Jaiden still talks to me and that’s enough, I wasn’t gonna hold them back this time. Plus, Zane befriended me soon after, and the bullying dropped significantly. He’s like a guard dog! A… scary guard dog even to me, but I suppose that made him better for the job. I didn’t mind what life became. It wasn't ideal but it was simple. Bearable.

I don’t know why the hell it’s changing now.

At least one thing’s stayed the same: hanging out in the last month of school. Our solution to our summer separation has always been to make the most of June and bear through till September. That's probably why they were so eager to meet up today! I doubt I’m getting ghosted this time. Even if it’s been an hour past what we agreed upon…

The small, sweet birdsongs from earlier broke me out from my thoughts. It’s such a pretty day, I don’t think I wanna spend it feeling needlessly shitty. They’re probably just running late! I wish Jaiden would at least try to update me, though. Or that I’d stop being so anxious about everything.

I looked over to their building, as if that’d let me see jack shit.

Should I call them? No, that’s too clingy. Maybe text? Yeah, a quick text should be fine. I’ve been standing out here for quite a bit, after all—

“Hey! You made it!” Speak of the devil and it arrives. I looked up from my phone to see none other than Jaiden walking up to me with a pep in their step and a smile on their face. They threw their arms around me for a short hug. Seems like someone’s having a good day!

“Of course I did! And unlike somebody, I was actually on time!” I teased them.

“Ah, shut it! You know how my parents are. I was basically on my knees to convince them and it still took a while! Those overbearing assholes. They’re just like your annoying aunt, I swear!”

If only you knew. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

“Well, where are we off to?”

“Okay, so!” They whipped out their phone, typing in the location of our surprise destination. “There’s this new thrift store that opened, like, a month ago. I’ve been dying to go there!”

“And the hook is…?”

Jaiden grinned ear from ear, their more expressive side peeking out a bit. “It’s goth! Well, branded as alt, but really it has everything cool!” Called it! Jaiden never likes shopping unless there’s that one specific hook.

We began our lovely walk, with Jaiden uncharacteristically trotting from excitement. I tried matching their stroll, even if my energy was too low to really perfect it. Sleep has been a little harder than usual; not helped by pulling another all nighter to clear out the chores I would’ve otherwise had today.

It’s worth it for my best friend, though! They don’t show it much at school, but Jaiden’s all about the dark and experimental stuff. They adore it more than anything else in the world! They also believe it makes us work better with me being the bubblegum pink friend and them being the dark goth friend. “Like Raven and Starfire!” They’d always say. I’m… not too sure about that. I mean, come on? Who wants to be put in a box like that? I don’t even like bubblegum pink… But it makes Jaiden happy, so I’ll nod along. No harm done by white lies! Anything for you, BlueJay.

We got on the bus and sat down at one of the back seats. I may be a little giddier than I should be for riding an NYC city bus, but those very bus rides together to commute to middle school was how I learned of Jaiden’s great music taste. Their company was a huge help for me to adjust to New York; it felt almost exactly like riding a regular school bus back in Connecticut! It didn’t last long, though. High school was much further away so I had to switch to taking the train downtown, while Jaiden’s parents moved closer to RHS so they could still take the bus.

I missed riding together more than I thought. I can’t wait for Jaiden’s song recommendations! It’s been forever since—

“Hey, hey! Look. At. This!” They leaned in so close, I was nearly squished against the window. Their face beamed, exposing their tooth gap as they showed off a shimmering silver-ish chain adorning their neck that had previously been safely tucked away under their hoodie. There was a small diamond pendant attached at the end that Jaiden held in their palm.

“Oh my gosh, it’s so pretty! Are those real?”

“Yep! The diamonds, the platinum, everything! It’s all real!” They whispered, cautious of anyone who’d wanna steal it away from them.

I suppose I can’t blame them. At a closer inspection, it looked hella expensive. The pendent was a large, shiny diamond about the size of a fingernail surrounded by several smaller ones. The chain looked relatively heavy, definitely not thin platinum. If my dad were here, he probably could’ve told me the exact value; he used to work at a jewelry shop shortly before I was born. He knew gold best, though.

“That’s so cool, Jay! It really looks good on you! Where’d you get it from?”

“It was a gift! Uh—You’re not gonna be mad at me if I tell you who it’s from, right?”

I tilted my head. Why’d they ask it like that? “No, of course, not.”

Their eyes had this misty, hopeful look to them as they softly breathed out his name. “Zane…”

“Zane gave you that?”

They nodded. “He said it was a late birthday gift since he didn’t get me anything in September. He showed me the price tag, too! You’d faint if you saw how many digits were on it!”

“No way! That’s amazing, man! I’m so happy for you!” I really was.

I hate it when two people I’m friends with are cold or nasty with each other. It broke my heart seeing Zane dismiss Jaiden at first and judgmentally whisper to me about them. I’m overjoyed those days are long behind us! I… I do wish I’d be a bit more involved, but dumbass envy aside, I’m so fucking happy they’re actually friends now! Getting such a pricey gift from Zane? He doesn’t indulge others unless they mean a lot to him.

It only got annoying when the hour-and-fifteen-minute long bus ride consisted of nothing more than Zane. Zane’s gifts and Zane’s texts and Zane’s blah blah blah. No new songs to try out after all.

We hopped off the bus, and my newfound nightmare continued as Jaiden kept blabbering about him on our walk to the store, too.

Ugh! Do they ever shut up!? I don’t know how much more my brain can take!

“And then he—”

“So! Alt shop, huh?” Desperate for fucking anything, I latched onto the first distraction that came to mind. “Are we only window shopping? Or did your parents bump their birthday promise up a few years?”

Since Jaiden’s parents saw the whole goth look their kid was attracted to as an invitation for the devil, they’ve never been allowed to buy anything that wasn’t mainstream enough. I don’t blame Jaiden for being pissed off considering they controlled every bit of how Jaiden looked. Straightened hair but keep it in a low ponytail. Baggy hoodie but still fitting their size to avoid coming off as sloppy. Look good enough to be seen as “pretty” but not so good you’d be looking “slutty”. I’d be exhausted if I had to worry about every tiny thing regarding my looks, outfits, or whatever!

But as a compromise, they did manage to convince their parents to drop the bullshit once they turned eighteen, and leave Jaiden to dress however they wanted.

“Please! I’d be surprised if they remember their promise! We’re just gonna look around. If there’s something passable, I’ll buy it but it’s mostly to check if they have any good stuff in general! For future reference.”

I nodded. “For future reference.” I guess whether or not they keep their word, we’ll find out in two years.

“But what about you, dude?”

Huh? “What about me?”

They pointed at my recently added accessories. “The goofy-lookin’ gloves and stuff, duh. I’ve been meaning to ask about them. Your aunt hates anything that’s not trad or girly, doesn’t she?”

“Oh, yeah, well…” She only cares what Meeta wears. “She changed her mind about me.”

To my surprise, Jaiden snorted.

“What? What is it?”

“Are you for real?” They were now howling, as if my confusion made whatever joke it was even better. “That changed your aunt’s opinion? Those shitty ass gloves? I thought she called you ugly enough already!”

“What are you talking about? They’re not ugly…”

“Uh, yeah they are! I mean look at them! It’s giving 13-year-old wannabe emo. Let me guess, you started listening to Avril Lavigne?” …I know Jaiden’s humor is sometimes a bit harsh but I did not have enough sleep to be patient with this. “And the belt doesn’t even fit you! It’s, like, so loose it’ll fall right off!”

“I-I think it was designed that way.” I grit my teeth and grumbled.

“Yeah, right. You’re trying so hard to justify it, I almost feel bad for you.”

They came closer and started fiddling around with my belt, rambling to prove their point and completely ignoring my efforts to push them away.

“Hey, what are you—!”

“Look, it’s literally hanging away from your stomach! Belts don’t do that! Isn’t your waist, like, your best asset anyway?”

“What!? W-whatever, seriously, stop!”

“Not like you have anything else, Salena—Bruh, it’s so stiff too, what the fuck? Why isn’t it made from something normal? What store even sells this weirdo junk?”

“Jaiden!”

“Chill, man! I’m just checking it out! What’s with the stupid button, huh? What are you, five? If this plays some dorky mainstream metal song, I’m ditching the belt in a lake, aight?”

“Hey! No no no! Don’t touch that! Jai—!”

“THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE PANIC BUTTON. YOUR PANIC IS IMPORTANT TO US.”

…Dear sweet cheese, I feel like my ears got blasted to another universe. Donatello when I get your ass—

“The hell is a panic button?” The source of my panic, apparently.

Jaiden looked at me as they uncovered their ears. I didn’t notice they reflexively backed away from me until now.

“It’s nothing, it…” I sighed, slapping a hand to my forehead in frustration. “Look, I told you not to touch it, didn’t I? These were gifts from a friend; he made them and the panic-button-thing’s just an inside joke.”

They erupted with laughter once again. I crossed my arms and shifted uncomfortably, tapping my foot in impatience. “Are you done?” I can’t believe there came a day where Jaiden’s hearty laugh actually bugged me.

“Sorry! I can’t help it, that’s such a stupid thing to have an inside joke for!” They finally, finally composed themselves and stopped making fun of me. “They were from a friend, huh? That explains why they clash so much.”

Or at least, I thought they stopped. “...And what does that mean?”

“Oh, the color. Actually, style too. Black would never suit you, ya know? If I picked out your outfit—well, first I wouldn’t have even chosen that aesthetic to begin with! But if I did, I would’ve at least made them pink. He seriously just threw his own preferences on you and hoped it would work, didn’t he?”

I felt my nails dig into my arms. “…Y-yeah, sure. I guess he did.”

“And that’s why he’s not your best friend!” They cheerily continued walking on. I begrudgingly followed.

Jaiden’s constant yapping made the next twenty minutes walking from our stop to the store feel like another twenty hours. They went right back to talking about Zane, too. It somehow always relates back to him.

“God, that concert we went to last week was so cool! We went totally…”

“…And then he said he might cover a K-Pop song for me! He’s not sure yet, but…”

“…Ugh, Zane should’ve been here! He would’ve laughed so hard at that puppy! Oh my god! I should tell you when he…”

They spend so much time together. So much of it without me. I didn’t know it was this much. They smile so brightly when talking about him.

If I was any dumber, I’d think they were in a relationship. But Jaiden would’ve told me if they were even interested, let alone dating. That, and Zane confirmed there was nothing going on between them during… that night. They’re probably just giddy that he’s finally giving a shit about them. He’s a very hard shell to crack, after all. I’m being such a possessive bitch.

I flinched when I heard Jaiden curse.

“Fuck!”

“What’s wrong!? Are you okay?”

“It’s fucking closed!?” Oh.

There was a sheet of paper pressed up against the glass next to their opening hours for Monday to Saturday. It said the store was temporarily closed for the next two days due to an unexpected stock shortage. Judging by their reaction, one would assume it got hit by a meteorite or some shit, but I digress.

“Hey, it’s alright, Jay.” I put my hand on their shoulder as an attempt to comfort them. “It’ll be open again in two days. We could just come back then!”

“Ugh!” They harshly pulled away. “That isn’t gonna change shit! I wasted my time!”

What are you getting mad at me for?

I sighed, and focused on trying to cheer them up. “W-well, um… I-I mean, it wasn’t a total waste of time!”

“Seriously!?”

Their glare was so sharp, I instantly knew I said the wrong thing. Still, I continued since there wasn’t any other idea I could conjure up.

“I-I know that sounds bad… And I’m not trying to invalidate you, I promise! B-but hear me out! It sucks the store was closed, b-but think about how long it’s been since we’ve hung out like this! I-I don’t think that was a waste of time!”

“Easy for you to say!” They sighed, annoyed and upset. “Salena, I love you, but you’re an idiot if you think like that.”

I raised my brow. “…I-I’m an idiot for enjoying our time together?” Stop shaking.

“You have nothing to do, you’re bored 24/7! That’s literally why we’d always get into so much shit when we were little. But it’s different now. I have a life, man!”

“I know. I do. I-I just wanted to be part of it.” What are you saying..? Breathe, Salena, breathe.

“Huh?” They stared at me blankly before shaking their head. “Whatever, my point is: we’re growing up. Time is precious now.”

Without even hesitating, they pulled out their phone and began typing. I feel sick. So sick, I almost don’t wanna ask about it. So why am I doing this to myself?

“W-what… What are you doing now?”

“Texting Zane.”

“I…” Should’ve kept my mouth shut. “Why are you texting him exactly…?”

“To see if he’s free yet?” They paused only for a moment to give me a look that says the answer should’ve been obvious. “I called him yesterday, but he said he’d be busy this morning.”

…Did you even want me here?

“Okay, well…” I deeply inhaled, trying to keep my voice from quivering. “Um… I’ve got a few errands to run so… I guess I’ll be off then.”

“Mhm, yeah, enjoy.” They didn’t even look up from their phone.

“Yeah. Nothing else you gotta show me? O-or tell me? I might be busy for a while today.”

“Nah, you’re good—Ooh! Zane’s free now! Finally! I’m heading out, too.” They put their phone in their pocket and started walking away. I wish I wasn’t just standing and watching like a moron, but my legs refused to move. What’s the point of having a body that never listens to you?

They paused after a distance and turned around. “Oh, but text me when you’re home safe! You’re so small it’s, like, the easiest thing to kidnap ya!”

“…Yeah.” I laughed a little too awkwardly. Is it really so hard to stop making that one joke? “Yeah, I’ll… do that.”

They smiled and turned away. “See ya!”

Just kill me already.

I walked out of the area and crossed the street. There seems to be a park over there, might as well go in. I gotta sit down somewhere before I get too nauseous. Not like my “errands” are actually waiting for me, anyway.

I swear, I don’t get it anymore! Am I tripping, or are they actually avoiding me for Zane? Did I do something? Are we still in a fight? The hell is going on between them? I’m so lost…

I’m so tired…

Some kids nearby were playing in the field. They were chasing each other, laughing away. They look so happy, so content. Their parents were watching them, smiling and chatting amongst themselves, calling out to their kids whenever they got too far.

I’m so lonely…

One of them fell. She started crying. Her dad rushed over with a med kit and began consoling her, bandaging her wound and talking her through the pain. Asking if it hurts too badly. Asking if she wants a break. Reminding her how strong she is and that he’s right here now. That he’ll always be right here.

Baba… Where’d you go? Why aren’t you here? Why isn’t anyone ever here!?

What’s happening to my mind…?

“Psst!” What was that?

My head turned left to follow where the sound came from.

“SALENA!”

“AHH!!!” Clutching my pearls, holy fucking shit! “Donnie!?”

He hopped over the bench I was sitting at to rest beside me. I took the time to calm myself down before he noticed anything.

It’s broad daylight, but he’s wearing a purple hoodie to keep himself disguised. Sure, the dark green non-human legs were on full display, but it’s New York so folks probably brush it off as radiation or something.

“Greetings, dear Salena! Crazy running into each other, is it not? You know, life often presents signs and opportunities as coincidences like this!”

“Coincidences, huh?” I chuckled. “Be real, you found me ‘cause of the panic button, didn’t you?”

He sighed. “Yeah, it was the panic button. Well, I would’ve used your arm wraps anyway, but then the panic button went off and its tracker is a tad more reliable—Uh, but only because I rushed the wraps! My engineering isn’t at fault, of course.”

I blinked. “…Dude, what’s with you and trackers?”

“What? What’s wrong with it?”

“Nevermind, nothing.”

“Hm, your tone seemed to change a bit. Did I upset you?”

My head shook with a half-assed smile. “No, don’t worry about it. I’m just kinda tired, so I’m a little weird today.”

“…Alright. But my point remains unscathed! Yeah, I admit, I didn’t exactly run into you, but coincidentally, your panic button went off and gave us an excuse to meet! One could even say we were destined to hang out today!”

Yeah, I guess Jaiden and Zane were destined to kiss each other’s asses today, too. Oh, but yippee for me! I get to trade spending time with one friend for another friend yet again! It’s not like I wanted to bond with Jaiden or anything, or had any desires to patch the weird spot we’re in! Of course not, I’m Salena Moni! Having needs is ridiculous for me!

“Uh, Salena?”

My head jerked up to look at him, wide-eyed. I didn’t even notice I… Ugh, this can’t keep happening. I exhaled through my nose and calmed myself down.

“Sorry. Like I said, I’m a little weird today.”

He smiled. “That’s fine. I act like that sometimes, too.”

“So…” I fiddled with my fingers. “What are you coincidentally here for, then?”

“I’m so glad you asked! Alrighty, so our mission for today is…”

Man, life really seems to have blood-feud levels of hatred towards me. I probably came off as the rudest asshat on Earth to Donnie. Again. I’m not trying to be, it’s just the damn timing! I’m fully aware he doesn’t deserve my attitude.

The kids kept playing in the field, already recovered from their little accident.

I know I’m being petty about Jaiden, but I can’t help it anymore! Everything feels like too much; I’m tired, I’m grumpy. It doesn’t even matter ‘cause I know it’ll go back to normal tomorrow. It always does! It doesn’t matter if I’m hurt, whether they apologize, or if they even noticed something’s wrong! Things always go back to normal! What if I don’t want them to? Just this one time. The balance we always return to is being tested and redefined. What if that’s actually a good thing?

“…Salena?”

“Huh?”

He chuckled. “Spacey today, aren’t we? Did you catch any of that?”

Who the hell am I kidding? Look at me! I’m a fucking mess!

“I’m so sorry… Could you just sum it up for me, please?”

“Yepperoni~! I was asking if you’d like to join me on my venture to the Hidden City Zoo today!”

Ah… The zoo… “Um, I-I mean, I already went there before.”

“Yes, precisely why I require you! You and my dum-dum brothers went last time, and discovered some strange things about the ‘Yōkai’ there,” his fingers raised in the air to gesture quotation marks, “assuming Mikey wasn’t exaggerating the info! I remember he said you were taking notes?”

Honestly, I got so caught up with life, I nearly forgot that happened.

“Yeah.” I opened the notes app on my phone and handed it over to him, my face slightly heating up as I remembered the embarrassing lack of fact-checking on my part. “O-oh, but I should warn you! I was still kinda new to the mutants and Yōkai thing, so a lot of it is with misinformed context. I-I never got a chance to update it, so…”

“Eh, I’m working with nothin’ so any data collection is appreciated. It can still be used as a start to our expedition!”

He patted his thighs and got off from the bench. Despite my body feeling like a melted slushie against gravity, I forced myself to my feet. I took in the sudden breeze of air as we began walking.

It’s strangely a little hard to move my body, but I can just distract myself and I’ll be fine. “What did you say was wrong with the Yōkai, again?”

“Well, I can’t guarantee anything one-hundo percent until I see them myself, but something about their descriptions were… off. It even says in your notes they were like, quote, ‘regular animals, but bigger and louder’.”

“Aight, honestly, I’m still not that clear on what qualifies as Yōkai. That sounds pretty accurate to folklore. Have you not met any of them like that?”

“No, no—I mean, we have. Technically speaking.“ His hands fit perfectly in the purple hoodie pockets. “We’ve gone against various forms of Yōkai these past few years, but the vast majority of them were heavily anthropomorphic. Glorified furries, in other words.”

“Donnie, I know what anthropomorphic means.”

“AHA! SEE!? You and I are so in sync, it almost makes me believe in Mikey’s horoscopes!”

I shook my head with a grin. “May we go back to the glorified furries?”

Donnie went on to explain his theories about the zoo creatures, occasionally breaking into more tangents as he kept reading my notes. I was horrifically off about what Yōkai were, but to cut myself some slack, so was folklore. I’m learning more and more every day! It feels kinda exciting, I finally have something to look forward to!

A cardinal is chirping like a siren on my left.

Yōkai are just like people. Mutants are like them, too. There are differences in each of our DNA—and our strengths and weaknesses as a result—but we’re all fundamentally the same. While they’ve had a case or two where an animal got mutated and lacked the human component to grant them hyper-intelligence and not just super-size, that was such a rare occurrence, there wouldn’t be nearly enough of those creatures to fill a whole zoo of ‘em. So, I absolutely understand where Donnie’s coming from.

“If those creatures aren’t Yōkai, what do you think they are?”

“That’s what I’m not sure of. However—a bit of a bonkers theory, I’ll admit—I suspect they might have something to do with the genetically modified cats you and April came across.”

“WHAT!?”

I felt my knees scraping against the concrete as my body tumbled forward. I distracted myself a little too well apparently, since the nerves in my legs went numb and completely gave out. My chest kept rising and falling as I gasped to fill my lungs with oxygen. I could hear Donnie’s muffled voice slowly clearing up as he looked down at me.

“Sweet banana muffins, are you okay!?”

I groaned and nodded, letting him help me up. His cold hands wrapped around my arm as my shaky legs got used to my weight again.

“Ugh! Sorry, I don’t know what’s been up with my body lately. It’s been crazy weak for a few days now.”

“That doesn’t sound good…”

“I’ll be fine, sometimes this happens.” Probably need more sleep. “Just, uh, do me a favor and don’t tell Leo.”

Donnie let go and looked at the ground, kicking the dirt as his hands went back in his pockets. “We don’t have to go today. I admit I possibly came off strong, and I apologize for that, but I can drop you home to rest if you’re feeling unwell.”

“I’m okay! Really! This is important, so we should go! I don’t know the next time I’ll be free, anyway.” I tried to keep my staggering at a minimum so he’d be reassured I’m fine. I want to be here.

His lips curved nervously into a half-smile. “The zoo isn’t too far. There’s a portal to the city nearby, and it’s a pretty short walk afterwards. I can even give you a ride there!”

His thumb pointed back at his battleshell. It looks like a hell of a ride but… I’d rather not burden him.

“It’s fine, really, Donnie.”

“Alright, well… I just need to see the creatures for myself to see their differences more clearly and take a few notes. Rest assured, dear Salena! We’ll be in and out in a jiffy~!”

***

“Oh, you’re fucking kidding me.”

Steam hissed out of a broken engine from down the road, mixing with the sounds of bickering voices. Shiny paint was scraped off the other car’s side, and both were crumbled up at the collision points. An accident caused by an unsettlingly perfect T-bone hit. Crowds of Yōkai filled the street, being held back by officers who were blocking the area and keeping the two victims from tearing each others’ throats. Different city, same rules, I guess.

“Quickest way to the zoo, and it’s blocked off the one day we need it. Ain’t our luck just great, Don~?” I elbowed his arm with a tired smirk.

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” He spoke through his clenched teeth. “One tiny inconvenience is no matter! We’re permitted to travel the skies here in the Hidden City, so our path isn’t actually blocked off.”

“You act as if you’re permitted to use jetpacks in New York, anyway.”

It was as if fate decided to fuck with Donnie, however, since as soon as the words rolled out of his mouth, a crash of metal was heard directly above the collision on land. We turned our heads up towards the freshly made accident of two air-vehicles already throwing their colorful words at each other, and getting surrounded by more police on hot air balloons.

Donnie’s eyes were bulging out of his head as he stared up at the sky in disbelief. I hesitated, but placed a hand on his shoulder and patted him as his head went buried in his hands.

“I-I’ll just… take one for the team and say I, uh, jinxed it.” I let out a deep breath. “You know, maybe there’s a different path we could take? Like… a longer route or something?”

He groaned as he glanced at me. “You sure you can handle that? You seem incredibly exhausted and I’d rather not—”

“Well, I guess we could maybe ring Leo and have him portal us—”

“LONGER ROUTE IT IS, HAHA! COME, DEAR SALENA, WE MUSTN’T LOSE MORE TIME!” I couldn’t even process when he gripped my arm, let alone when he began dragging me away from the scene and onto the alternate path.

I know I kinda signed up for this, but there’s a lot more walking than I hoped for. Our new route was sadly away from the city central, and headed more towards the woodsy areas. I usually don’t mind dirt paths, but a bunch of pebbles pressing against my heels wasn’t exactly the best feeling for sore feet.

According to the map on Donnie’s database, we would’ve been able to go straight up North to the zoo if the accident hadn’t happened. Now, we’re stuck looping around and going a bit through “Crystal Covers” before the main part of our journey through “Fire Forrest”. Seems whoever named that place agrees with me on how forest should actually be spelled.

Donnie’s voice snapped me back to Earth. “You know, I love New York but I must say, these names are quite interesting! I wonder why we don’t get names like these for our boroughs.”

Strangely, I know a little bit about why. “We got our names from the Dutch, I think. A-And Europe in general, actually! Queens was named after Queen Catherine, The Bronx after a Dutch settler, etc. Ooh, Brooklyn used to be called, like, Kings-something but I forgot the latter part—I mean, the important thing is, it’s now named after a Dutch village.”

“Fascinating! I gotta say, I actually don’t know much about linguistics.”

“Oh, neither do I. I mean, I learned a little bit back when I got into con-langs—the thing that we suspected was the writing on the papers from that weird lab—but I only know some mild fun facts about New York’s names from a geography project.”

It’s kind of fun being able to share all of this useless info with someone. Well, sure, I believe no knowledge is completely useless, but when am I ever gonna use the fact that Manhattan is actually Manahatta, Munsee for ‘place where we gather timber for bows’. Or at least, that’s what the white fucks heard. It’s confusingly unclear.

Donnie used one of his mechanical arms to fish out a sheet of paper from his battleshell, handing it to me with a robotic whir. “I found this map-thing a while back. It’s a little shitty, and I suspect it was made for the sole purpose of promoting whatever tour bus company it came from, but it did help me update my systems about this place!”

Shitty doesn’t begin to describe it. “The hell is this? It’s basically unreadable!” I squinted at the map, desperately trying to catch if there were any tiny printed fonts that could tell me something I’d actually need, but no! All there was on this jokester map were the names of the boroughs and one route. One route. One route with one stop for this tour bus company. I fucking despise capitalism.

I neatly folded it, resisting my urges to crumple it into a tiny ball of patheticness, and handed it back to him. “It looks like it was ripped straight from a children’s coloring book.”

“I know right? It sucks. But, I did get a little curious on the ‘Secret Apple’ deal it had going on!” He unfolded it, crumbled it into a ball, and threw it on the ground. Why must life deny me satisfaction?

“Yeah, they sure like their apples.”

“Actually, I believe it may have something to do with New York’s second name—drumroll please~!” I shrugged, and gave my best attempt at a drumroll on his shell.

“The Big Apple!”

In all his theater kid glory, he slid on the floor onto his knees. If we were in a movie, it would’ve done that dramatic zooming-out shot.

I giggled and sat criss-crossed next to him. “The Big Apple Full of Worms, as I always called it. Well, you’ve piqued my curiosity. Go on?”

“So, similar to how New York is also called The Big Apple, I suspect the Hidden City residents wanted to join in on the nomenclature by calling it The Secret Apple.”

“Kinda cute, honestly. I’m digging it.”

“I’ve heard some locals say it in passing dialogue, but never truly knew what it referred to. I mean, I had an assumption it was a second name, obviously; a toddler could figure that out.” He rolled his hands as he talked, animating every word. “However, I lacked any evidence to truly justify any claims until I found that map.”

I raised my brow with a smirk. “You don’t happen to go dumpster-diving often, do you?”

“What can I say? One man’s trash is another man’s treasure!” He stood up, grabbing my arm and helping me up soon after. “Come on, off we go!”

I didn’t even realize he just had us sit down for a short break. That sneaky bastard.

***

God, we’ve been on this route for hours!

If I had my sickles, I would’ve sliced my damn legs off at this point! Which is probably why it’s a good thing I don’t, for fucking once. I can’t believe we had to go through the one borough full of uneven terrain and these bitchass trees that keep getting in the way! The Hidden City’s in a god damn cave, but we’re left with the one path that has us fighting a literal uphill battle.

“Donnieeeeeee!” I don’t wanna be a whiny annoyance, but I couldn’t help the exhaustion from bleeding out “How much longer do we have ‘till we’re there?”

“Uh, not too long, I think? We just… Gotta keep heading North! Jeez… The distance of our trail isn’t exactly the longest one I’ve been on, but the heat in this place is absolutely horrid!” He was slouched over in a similar fashion as me, the humidity of the environment affecting us both.

I groaned and my body slumped further. I hate complaining, but the pain’s reaching intolerable levels. My legs feel like pre-programmed drones, forced to carry on their walk cycle no matter the weight. My arms are heavy and swinging with no control. I can barely feel the pebbles against my feet anymore, I’ve grown so accustomed to them.

Maybe I would’ve had some more energy to spend if I hadn’t wasted it on Jaiden’s bullshit earlier. Such a stupid choice to drag me along when they didn’t even want me! I’m tired, I’m slow, and it’s partly their fucking fault! Everything I do for you, Jay, and all you could give as thanks was putting me second place to Zane?

That whole catastrophe of a morning has me looking like I’ve died and come back ten times over, I can almost feel the skin sag on my face from my frown. I’ve honestly been wanting a day together with Donnie; alone from everyone else, I mean. I barely know the guy! But I feel so… cursed! Every time we get a chance to maybe bond with each other, it’s always after some stupid shitshow already got me in an irritated mood! I don’t want him to think it’s ‘cause of him, or think this is my default personality.

“Hey, I know I’ve repeated this approximately ten thousand times now, but are you sure you want to keep going?” He placed his hand on my shoulder, the coolness of his skin offering me some brief relief.

“No, I’m okay. I would’ve been fine—well, better if I didn’t spend my morning walking a bunch, too. Let’s just keep going, please.”

He hummed, walking beside me. He bent down and picked up one of the larger rocks around here, about the side of his palm. “What’s your favorite classification of rock?”

“Sedimentary.” I heard a noise from his battleshell, sounding like mechanical mixing, but ignored it. “When I was little, I grew obsessed with them because they sometimes held fossils.”

“Ooh, paleontology! Not a bad interest as a wee lass!” He nodded approvingly. “Strangely enough, I actually never got into a dinosaur phase.”

“REALLY!?”

I nearly made him stumble and fall over from my barking. My bad.

“Sorry, but how could you avoid dinosaurs all your life!? They’re dinos! And better yet, for as interesting as dinosaurs already are, they were the gateway to learning about prehistoric history in general! Dude, let me tell you!”

I ended up rambling to him all the way from the beginning; starting with the Cambrian explosion, yapping about the evolution of predation, the first life to evolve on land, yada yada. Donnie would chip in with questions, remarks, and observations, his movements as lively as mine. The heat was still absurdly unbearable, but it felt better to yap about our planet as an ironically fitting distraction. I even got to tell him about pelycosaurs from the Permian period! Strangely enough, I didn’t actually talk much about dinosaurs…

“Wait ‘till I tell you about the Great Dying! Everyone always talks about the K-T extinction—you know, the asteroid that wiped out our beloved dinos—and it’s cool and all, but bro! The Great Dying was the worst one Earth’s ever experienced! I think it was around… 97? 98? Whatever! A high 90-something percent of Earth’s life just whoosh! Gone!”

“Ugh, you’re like a living encyclopedia! I love it!” The constant humming from his back that I unconsciously drowned out suddenly stopped. “I just knew we’d understand each other this way!”

He chuckled as the robot arms reached into his battleshell and whipped out some freshly-made iced lemonade, giving me complete fucking whiplash and overwhelming relief.

“I didn’t know your battleshell could make lemonade!”

”Oh, of course it can! The pursuit of science often leads one down rocky trails—no pun intended, I am not Leo—so it’s only common sense to install a method of hydration. Cheers~!”

Oh, the joys of freezing cold lemonade on a day that makes the world feel like an active oven! I feel like a kid again! Mmm! It’s even sweeter than it is sour.

”Seems we love the same type of lemonade! Fun fact: as a kid, I would have to make two separate pitchers of ‘em—one for my parents and one for me—just so I can add more sugar in mine.”

”Hmm, a person of taste you are~! My dum-dum brothers think I’m weird for wanting it sweeter.” He slurped through the straw of his drink. “I can’t help it if I like the taste, ya know?”

He nudged my shoulder, and looked down with a smile. Donnie’s face is rather sweetly emotive, it’s becoming one of my favorite parts about him. “Salena, I must take a moment to thank you more properly. I understand mayhaps my timing was a bit off, judging by your physical exhaustion, so I really appreciate you coming along with me. It means more than words can express! At least the words I’m aware of.”

It feels a little silly for saying I got butterflies from something so simple, but I did. I don’t get thanked often. I don’t get thanked often. How have I been missing out on this my entire life and just… never noticed?

My eyes trailed down from my drink to the black wraps decorating my arms.

“Donnie?”

”What is it?”

”So like, very off topic but… Why did you choose black? For the arm wraps, I mean. I-I was just curious, ya know? Like, was it ‘cause it would match you guys, or—“

”Nah, none of that! You’re doing, what I like to call, a Classic Donnie Overthink!” He moved his straw around in his glass, causing the ice to clank along the sides. “I made them black because I thought it’d suit you.”

It would…?

”Are you not satisfied with them?”

”Oh, n-no no no! I mean, I-I was just… confused? Black suits me? I mean, my favorite color’s pink, and most people usually gift me pink things because of it. I-I like black, though! I’m just caught off guard, I guess—“

”Pause, what’s that behind us?”

”Huh—? What the fuck!?”

A tiny distance away, an even tinier creature was staring at us, growling and hissing as its pupils grew thin. It looked no bigger than a puppy. The tall spikes that ran along its back straightened at every unwelcoming noise it made, the sharp white teeth gleaming.

“It’s kinda… cute?”

”That’s how they get you, Don! We should fucking run!”

As if on cue, the tiny, scaly devil from hell shrieked and huffed out fire. Its foot stomped the ground, causing some of the dirt to rise as it charged towards us.

I don’t think either of us remained aware of where we were running to, or for how long. We just bolted as the little shit chased us from behind, not ceasing its stubborn goal of tearing us to shreds until we fled up a mossy tree, Donnie helping me climb up.

“What do we do!? What is that thing!?”

”Probably some sort of dragon Yōkai, I presume? You think it’s from the zoo?”

”That tiny demon spawn? Not unless it’s fun-size.”

It’s stupid shrieking only grew louder, almost as if it heard me.

“Bro, leave us alone!” I broke a twig off and threw it at the ground. No result, sadly, as it only dodged it. “Donnie, we should do something!”

”Uh, maybe call Raph?”

”Maybe we should do something that spares our dignity first.”

“Alas, you’re right!”

We were both admittedly very panicked, unsure if we would be stuck there for eternity due to the pest’s determination for having a new squeaky toy. Finally, my frantic and definitely not over dramatic prayers were answered when we heard a voice from a distance call out to the thing.

“Opal? Opal, are you harassing children again?”

A Yōkai with short, tan fur and tall, black ears came running over to the tree the dragon dickhead had us trapped in. She seemed to be a caracal cat, I’d recognize those wispy ears from anywhere. I wish I could guess her age, but it’s harder to tell with Yōkai compared to humans with the bare-bones knowledge I have.

She waved up at us. “Sorry kids! The little flamethrower has a knack for wandering off! She gets defensive if she sees any outsiders on our property.”

”Ah, how… Delightful. I think.” I could tell he was trying to fake a positive reaction as much as I was trying to keep myself from smacking the little shit. “Have you heard of these things called fences, by any chance?”

”Your little flamethrower almost set us on fire, you know! You’re acting like that’s a perfectly non-painful experience!”

She only laughed as she scooped Opal into her arms and attached a leash onto her collar. “Oh, you kids are adorable! Opal barely has the fire to cook a chicken, let alone you two! Now come down from that tree and hurry out of here. You better get to safer territory before they start patrols!”

Safer territory?

She and Opal left before we could ask any more questions. Donnie and I nervously looked at each other.

”What do you think she meant by patrols?”

He shrugged as he began typing on his wrist. “Probably just talking about the police force here.”

”But she mentioned something about safer territory. We wouldn’t be unsafe around the cops.”

”Truth be told,” he turned his head to face me, “I’m not sure, but I don’t have a good feeling about it. We’re way past our destination, anyway. We better get out of here and, sigh, travel South now.”

”…Lovely.”

We didn’t speak about that interaction as we backtracked, likely because there’s nothing more we can say. It feels a little unsettling, but I think I have enough to worry about for now. This can wait for a different day.

Hand in hand, as we tried using the last our energy that remained after the ill-timed chase, we sluggishly made our way out of that stupid fucking woodsy wonderland of a borough, and now walked through the city streets. At least sidewalk hurts less than stones.

Sadly, reaching the zoo only led to the biggest devastation of all.

”You’re kidding me…”

”IT’S CLOSED? WHY IS IT CLOSED? OH, WHY MUST THIS CRUEL WORLD DESTROY ALL SEMBLANCE OF HOPE THAT REMAINS WITHIN MY SOUL!?” Donnie fell to the floor on his knees, pounding his fist at the ground. I couldn’t help but scratch my head at the sign.

“Man, everything keeps being closed today? What day even is it?” I pulled out my phone, feeling like a colossal dumbass when I actually checked the calendar. “…Hey Donnie?”

”Defeated sigh, yes?”

”Soooo, apparently, it’s Sunday.” That fuckass thrift shop would’ve been closed, anyway.

“Say what now?” He perked up, dashing to me to look over my shoulder. “B-but that doesn’t make any sense! My calendar says it’s Monday! See?”

I saw the date on the purple hologram displayed from his wristwatch. JUNE 6, the correct day. Definitely seems to be a Monday? My eyes skimmed over and suddenly caught the conundrum.

I giggled. “Donnie? I think perhaps you should take a look at the year, buddy.”

”What are you talking about—2022!? Why the hell is it set a year ahead!?” He grit his teeth and began punching his tech as if that would solve anything. “The universe is conspiring against me! I knew Mikey’s horoscope was not to be trusted!”

I pat his back. “It… It happens. Maybe the universe’s horo-whatever-the-fuck is telling us today just wasn’t a zoo day.”

He collapsed to the floor. I hesitantly grabbed onto his ankle, dragging his body with me.

”Can’t we just break in?”

”Nope! Not looking to be frog food again.”

My body’s so beat, I could pass out right here right now, but it’s a smarter idea to rest away from the place that we almost got arrested in last time. Surprisingly though, Donnie—who’s now walking on his own—is trailing way behind me. His head is hung low, his body drooping like a wilted violet.

I slowed down to let him catch up. “Donnie? You okay?”

His head immediately flinched up. “Hm, what? What are you talking about? I am perfectly fine, there is nothing about me that would indicate any levels of unhappiness!”

“…You’re a shit liar. So, what’s up?”

”Scoff.” His voice got quieter as he sped up his walking. “I answered truthfully and honestly, you are simply imagining things, no, I am not trying to gaslight you of anything, end of conversation.”

The world’s worst fibber tried escaping my interrogation, but I quickly stepped in front of him and blocked his path, my hands on my hips and an unamused expression in my eyes.

”Donnie.”

”Whaaaat? What do you want?”

”To know what’s wrong.”

”Nothing is wrong!”

”Don’t give me that! Something is definitely up with you, dude!”

”Oh, yeah? Present your evidence to the court, and then we’ll talk!”

”Okay! Your body is slouched, you’re frowning, your voice is quieter, you’re less emotive yet more jumpy; quite literally everything about you is telling me something is wrong! Shall I list more?” I pinched the bridge of my nose, but breathed out to calm myself down. “I’m not gonna force you to talk if you don’t want to. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to hide it, either. I wanna help.”

”…Yeah, you know what, why not?” Astonishingly, it worked. He laid down on the floor, arms and legs starfished out. “I suppose I’m just… a little disappointed.”

Eh, I’ll bite. I laid on the ground in a similar manner, our bodies sprawled out in opposite directions with only our heads being able to see each other. He was upside down for me, and I was upside down for him. It felt like we were making a shitty yin yang symbol.

“I’ll bet. You really wanted to go to that zoo, huh? I mean, of course you did! It was basically a research project, who wouldn’t be disappointed over it turning out to be a bust?”

”…Yeah, the zoo.”

”How many notes did you prepare with?”

”Oh, barely any!” Even on the floor, his arms would still stick up to spice up his words. “Truth be told, I was more excited about reading and collaborating with yours.”

A small chuckle escaped me. “Interesting. I already told you, those notes are inaccurate as hell.”

”That doesn’t matter.”

”How could scientific accuracy not matter in a scientific endeavor?”

“No! That’s the thing!” He exclaimed, causing me to jump a little in my spot. “It wasn’t about the endeavor, or about science, or any of that! If it was really about the investigation, I would’ve just gone myself! This whole trip, all I wanted was just—!”

He let out a quiet sigh, his voice becoming a stark contrast from before. “I just wanted to befriend you. There! I confess! The zoo was only an excuse, a means of presenting an opportunity for myself, nothing more.”

We laid in silence for a while, Donnie’s palms covering his eyes while mine gazed up at the sky. The ceiling of this cave is so high, I can’t seem to make it out with the naked eye. It feels like an illusion of endlessness, effective enough to make this city feel like any other.

“I… I don’t mean to make it any worse, but I’m kinda… lost?” I swallow the lump growing inside my throat. “I just, I-I don’t get it. You wanted to hang out with me? That’s it? W-why not just… ask?”

”I thought you’d say no.”

”Why did you think that?”

”I thought you didn’t like me.”

And now I’m wondering if my hearing test came back inaccurate. “You thought I wouldn’t like you? Donnie, you’re literally one of the coolest pe—turtles I’ve met in my life! Who wouldn’t like you?”

”That’s what I was wondering this whole time! Well, not exactly that, but—“ He groaned into his hands.

”Breathe, take your time.”

“Every one of my predictions and calculations concurred you and I should be great friends! Fantastic friends, even! We have similar passions, energies, psychoticness, etcetera! Yet somehow, it always felt like you preferred everyone else over me!”

“Donnie…”

“You’ve hung out with every one of my brothers! Everyone, except me! We barely talk, you seem hesitant to accept any of my assistance, and it’s only mine! I mean, come on! You and Leo go on your little run thing-a-ma-jigs almost every night. The most you and I have interacted are plain greetings whenever you drop by the lair! And why do you drop by the lair? To hang out with Mikey or Raph! I can’t figure out for the life of me what’s stopping us from being friends! We might as well be talking about the weather!”

He rolled over in a pout, the back of his head facing me.

I tried searching for words, my brain turning into mush from this entire rollercoaster of a day. It’s funny, I kept stressing out over whether or not I was some weird, useless annoyance to Donnie. I never would’ve guessed we shared that fear.

I gently tugged on his hoodie sleeve to request for him to turn back to me.

”I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know I made you feel like that…”

“…I’m not upset at you, an apology isn’t what I’m requesting.” He rolled to his other side, now staring at me with pleading eyes. “I just want answers. What happened, Salena?”

I bit my lip. Then I snickered. Then snorted. Then cackled.

“Okay, not the reaction I could ever have predicted…?”

”Sorry, sorry! I just—pfft!” I couldn’t stop the belly laughs from taking over my soul. “Oh god, you’ve gotta be kidding me, Donnie! This is so stupid! I—Dude! I was worried about the same damn thing! That’s what happened!”

“C-Come again…?”

I facepalmed as my giggles subsided. “I thought you’d find me dumb and annoying! I mean, I wanted all of you guys to like me, but especially you! You’re fun, and smart, and crazy! And so fucking cool!”

”You say that as if we don’t share those traits.” He let out a small giggle.

”Well, I didn’t see it that way, okay? I was just… Classic Donnie Overthink, I suppose! I really thought you hated me, I would’ve reached out otherwise. I never got to show you anything outside of my worst moments.”

”Dear Salena, if this is your worst, I’m excited to see your best!” He drummed his fingers on my arm, something I’m interpreting as a sign of affection that I am totally stealing. “I’ve always wanted a friend like you. We’re both children of Einstein! Intelligent enthusiasts! Nerds! I love my brothers and I adore April, but I have longed for a comrade that would actually get my passionate madness!”

We laid there, looking up at the closed-off sky, matching smiles etched on both our faces. It felt nice to finally catch my breath, physically and metaphorically. One thing in my life actually fixed itself! That’s gotta be a good sign.

”Hey, it’s only 3PM. When do you have to be home?”

“Oh, at 6. My aunt’s working late, so she’ll actually come back at 9, but I wanna get there early enough to do some light clean-up and chores.”

He hummed. “A good three hours. Plenty of time!”

He got up from the ground and dusted himself off. “You ever been to Run of the Mill before?”

Donnie’s hand reached out. My vision focused on his dark green fingers offering to help me up, reminding me of the last time I paid attention to this sort of gesture. I used to see it as a sign of weakness; an admittance of defeat over my never-ending fight to make myself useful, make my existence actually matter.

I still feel the sting of guilt in the back of my head, slapping me for not saying anything earlier, for overthinking it to such an extent that I hurt him without even realizing. Yet, despite everything, right now in this moment, taking his hand feels less intimidating than before. Giving myself some small leeway feels like the right thing to do for once.

I took his hand, and he pulled me up. “I think we’re due for some sustenance, anyway! Especially you. You look like a dried raisin.”

“You have no idea, Don.”

***

The skies of New York always looked prettier up close, lights of all different tints and intensities glittered throughout like our own make-shift stars. We ended up staying an hour or two later than six by accident so the sun was already beginning to set, coloring the sky a gorgeous ombre of pink and violet.

“Feeling comfy back there?”

“Surprisingly, very!” Hitching a ride on his battleshell for this long wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be.

Donnie dropped me off at my room’s fire-escape, gently setting us both down before I hopped off from his back.

“Thanks for inviting me out, Donnie. You really made my day, I mean it.” The words I know aren’t enough to express how I feel. “And for the food, too! I swear, I did not expect something called ‘Creepy Supreme Pizza’ to taste so good!”

“No probbles~! The wonders of trying something new, aye? You may simply treat me back the next time we hang out.” He gave me a wink before turning his jetpack back on, and flying home.

I don’t know when that next time will be, but it’s reassuring to know there will be a next time.

I jumped over the window sill, making my way to the cushy mattresses of my bed with a long, loud sigh. I did plan to get some light clean-up done before my aunt came back, but it can wait a few more minutes. My body will curse me to death if I stay standing any longer.

Today has been an exhausting mixed bag of an experience. I’m glad it wasn’t entirely shit thanks to Donnie. Maybe if I were less tired or in a better mood, it would’ve been enough to deem it a good day overall. I wouldn’t have focused on anything else that happened, I wouldn’t have let anything else spoil it.

I changed into some comfier clothes and laid down with my arm between the pillow and my head, unlocking my phone with my free hand. No notifications. No texts. I opened up Instagram, a wave of deja vu washing over me. Just like last time, Zane’s instagram had a new post; photos of him and Jaiden spending the day together at another alt-branded store, showing off all the new things they bought in Zane’s photos. I didn’t even get a DM from Jaiden despite my oh so small and delicate nature making it oh so easy for me to get kidnapped. It probably won’t matter whether or not I tell them I’m home safe, I wouldn’t be shocked if they forgot they even asked.

I did see a message from Zane though, detailing how he spent the day with Jaiden and it made him think of me. His last text said he missed me and asked if I enjoyed my day, too. If it weren’t for Instagram exposing that I’d seen his messages, I wouldn’t have even sent the low-effort thumbs up as a reply. Ugh. Truly, the levels of concern over me are humorous. One won’t acknowledge me and the other can’t forget me.

I shut my phone and stared up at the ceiling. Man, they really just don’t care, do they? They don’t give a shit. No matter what I do, Jaiden will never love me the way I love them. Maybe things would’ve been different if we were more than friends. If I was a guy and loved them the way Dustin or Aaron or Felix did, maybe they would’ve valued me more. Maybe even if I was Zane, they would’ve valued me more… I fucking hate romance. I hate the bullshit grasp it has over everyone’s throats.

Their words repeated in my head with a newfound fury.

“That isn’t gonna change shit! I wasted my time!”

Ha. They wasted their time. They wasted their time! The only one who’s been fucking wasting their time is me! All I did for them, and it always amounts to nothing! What’s the point? I do so much but I’ll never make them care, so what’s the fucking point?

My eyes were blinking more and more. I was fuming, yet my breathing felt slower. Everything began catching up to my body; the exhaustion, the heat, the brain fog, everything!

Everything…

I didn’t realize I fell asleep until my eyes shot open again from some shuffling outside my door. I stared into a now darkened room, only lit by the reflections of the moon. Slowly and bitterly, I left the bed with a groan. That sleep felt about as refreshing as a bunch of spikes piercing your back with a thousand-pound weight on your chest keeping you trapped there.

I scratched my back as I opened my door with a creek, seeing my disturbance fishing through the hallway closet. “Meeta…? What time is it? What—Hey, wait, what are you doing!?”

“Shh! Quiet, or you’ll wake Mommy!” She whisper-snapped.

She was rummaging through the cramped closet we shared, digging out my belongings and putting them into a small cardboard box. I don’t know how she even got that unless she snuck into my room for it. I took all the boxes they had when I first moved here.

“What are you doing? That’s my stuff!” My voice was hushed and raspy, the tone one would use to avoid making a scene while still telling the other person they’re in deep shit.

“Making more room, duh. My closet got too full to fit my new clothes without wrinkling them. All you have is junk in here, anyway!” She grabbed one of Baba’s journals and threw it into the box. I quickly bent over it to check if the force of the fall bent the book in any way, going on my knees in the process.

“Be gentle with that! Fuck, tell me you weren’t gonna throw them out?”

“Um, it matters because…? It’s a closet, not a bookshelf. You don’t even read any of these!”

“I don’t have any bookshelves!” I grit my teeth while trying to organize Meeta’s irritating mess. I know she doesn’t know any better, but it’s not making my blood pressure any damn lower waking up to this. Meeta has, like, three wardrobes plus the main closet in her room, I barely have jack shit!

I breathed repeatedly to keep my temper in check. “H-here, how about this? I’ll just… put this box with all my other boxes in my room, and let you have the whole closet to yourself, ‘mkay? Just don’t throw my things out without asking me, jeez Meeta!” My voice sounded embarrassingly frantic.

She gave me a disgusted look. “Sure, whatever, I guess? I literally just needed space…” She’s acting like my behavior was overdramatic, but I don’t care. I’ll take what I can get.

Ugh, this girl! She can be such a mind-killer sometimes!

We continued sorting out the closet as quietly as we could, not even looking at each other, let alone speaking. I feel so numb and groggy, my brain’s legitimately fried. I can’t even daydream to pass the time, only zone out and hope that’ll do the job fine enough.

Meeta was the first to break the silence between us. “She’s real mad at you, you know.”

“...I just took a nap.”

“Yeah, and you were out for the whole day before that.”

“I already cleaned everything and food was leftovers from yesterday.”

“She was ranting while doing the dishes.”

Fucksake, she can handle a round of dishes! “Meeta, please don’t take this the wrong way, but do we have to talk about this now?”

She shrugged. “Just warning you of your funeral tomorrow.”

“Thanks, but I think I got the memo.” I pat her on the shoulder, hoping it was the end of our lovely conversation. Although, I should know better than to hope for anything by now.

“Mommy says it’s a bad habit for a woman to be lazy. You won’t get a husband if you don’t know how to turn a house into a home.”

“Wow. She’s been teaching you a lot hasn’t she? Taught you any chores yet?”

“Oh, no, gross. I’m way too young for that, she said that herself.”

“And yet, here I am…” I muttered under my breath.

I’ll never understand my aunt for finding so many differences between us. We share the same blood, but she’d scrutinize that in a snap too if she could. I worry about how her biases against me are possibly influencing the way she’s raising Meeta.

I heard Meeta gasp and turned back to see my blue sea turtle plushie laid delicately in her hands. “Ooh, pretty! I’m so keeping him!”

“What!? No!” I quickly reached my hands out and grabbed on to my toy. “Give her back!”

“No! He’s pretty and he’s mine!”

We soon got into a tug-of-war over my hybrid plush night-light, struggling to express our equal bitterness without yelling. Meeta gripped onto her hind legs while I cradled her head.

“Meeta, you can’t have Sandy! She’s my night-light!”

“Just get a new one!”

“You get another one! Hell, I’ll buy it for you!”

“I want him!”

“You can’t have her!”

“Why the hell not!?”

“‘Cause she’s from my dad!”

I fell to my back, holding onto Sandy as if my life depended on it, while Meeta finally let go.

I accidentally pressed one of Sandy’s buttons when I tumbled back and turned on her night-light. The serene, blue lines mimicking the sunlight passing through the water’s surface spread across my face and onto the ceiling above me. I looked down and caressed her soft, aqua-colored cheek. Her eyes were sewn closed, forever in the peaceful slumber she was made to spread to others. The plastic, semi-translucent shell felt cold and hard against my hands, a stark contrast to the warmth her night-light brought to my soul.

I haven’t seen her in years, not since Baba died. I stored her away, trying to forget her and all the bittersweet memories she kept within her. She’s just as beautiful as she was on the day I lost another piece of my heart.

We heard a cough and a groan from Phuphu’s room, a non-verbal reminder to keep quiet. Meeta’s head snapped to the sound, before whipping back to me. She stood up and shuffled around me, walking away. “P-put your stuff back. I have enough space. I was… j-just losing my mind for a bit.”

I let out a shaky breath, not bothering to face her. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

“I don’t want the stupid toy, y-you can keep it. I-it was only pretty from a distance.” I can hear the resistance in her voice. “The color’s weird, anyway!”

She’s bad at apologies, it’s not her fault. She’s bad at apologies, it's not her fault. They’re bad at apologies…

I took Sandy into my room, along with the box full of my dad’s journals, and shut the door. I didn’t have the energy to put anything back after spending so much of it taking it out in the first place. Just left it all there in the hallway. Neera—My aunt can do whatever she wants; yell at me, step on everything, break them, break me! I don’t even care if they’re all chucked into the trash and thrown out for good! I already put the things that actually matter into the box, so who the hell cares anymore!

I’m so tired. God, I’m so…

I laid in bed, curled up against Sandy. I pressed the button that played her music, a soft piano melody mixed with the sounds of the waves and seagulls. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine the beach she always painted for me.

My cheeks were starting to feel wet. Some days, it feels like life is eager for me to end it.

Next Chapter

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yosajaeofficial · 5 months ago

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Dun dun duuuuuun! Babe, wake up YourLocalArtsonist made an MFIP post

This was amazing and a very fulfilling update, also yeah don't do 6 courses ever again asshole 💀 You're gonna die before the arc finishes-

MFIP (and life) UPDATE✨✨

1/13/25 | Update 3 | Next Update | Last Update

Oh-ho-ho notice how I didn’t have “monthly” in the title this time~ Yeah, we’re not doing these that frequently anymore. I realized I have a lot going on, and MFIP doesn’t really have progress done every single month; I’m writing a fic, so it’s even harder to show progress without spoiling shit honestly, and I don’t make a new art piece every month. I’m still gonna be doing these updates, though! They’ll happen every 3-4 months—not including hiatuses—so I’ll actually have stuff to share with you guys and not have to worry about scraping for dimes.

Anywhizzle, today’s update is gonna be a long boi, and I wanted to just yap about what was going on this semester in general. I know I shouldn’t be feeling guilty for not working on the fic as much as I wanted to, but I still wanna give you guys an explanation as to why I randomly disappeared for a good few months. Unlike what I usually do however, Imma start with the life bullshit this time instead having it at the end. We’ll get to the actual progress update afterwards, and boy oh boy was progress made. So strap in for the ride folks!

Now Presenting: “What The Fuck Happened To You⁉️”

Okay, so, I’m a little bit of a dumbass—

Dudes if any of you are gonna start college or are currently in college, please think twice before making the same mistake as me. Last semester during the fall, my teeny tiny little apeshit brain thought it would be a good idea to enroll in six courses, four of which are online.

“I can handle it!” I thought, “How bad could it be~” And much like the Onceler, I got motherfucking humbled.

See, I dunno if it’s different anywhere else but for my college, online classes typically mean you get a fresh new load of work to do and hand in every week. Two of the classes my little Einstein heart enrolled for AS ELECTIVES were Criminal Justice and Creative Writing. Ya know! For fun! It’s not like I was enrolled in Calculus Level 2 and the Calc 2 Lab Class for my career requirements at the same time as those or anything—Oh, wait.

Anyways, me being the little genius I was thought that wasn’t enough, and enrolled in two more elective classes. To give myself some credit, one of those classes was Geography which would be a very easy grade. To immediately take that credit back, the other class was Physics: Energy and Environment literally because they wouldn’t let me enroll in an actual Physics class until the Spring semester and my moronic ass was impatient, so gave myself a supplement💀

As you can probably tell, I had massive regrets lmao. The workload was extremely hefty considering both Creative Writing and Criminal Justice had a LOT of reading and writing; both classes would have around 3-4 assignments due for each class at the end of the week. The Physics class took place hella late in the day twice a week, so I’d have to get all that work done before that class started ‘cause I’d be way too exhausted to do anything afterwards.

It was a living hell.

I was working on studying and homework almost every single day for hours on end. Being real with y’all, it added to a lot of stress and irritation, and admittedly a few breakdowns where I legitimately had to just cry to relieve the stress. It’s why I hope no poor soul bites off more than they can chew in a moment of overconfidence or just poor judgement the way I did ‘cause man that semester was so rough. I actually love college too, so getting me to dread it meant I def fucked up with choosing classes. Needless to say, I barely got to work on MFIP for four months. Progress was slow, if any at all.

I’ve talked about this before too, but my mom’s a breast cancer survivor and I’m an only child. Since my dad’s the sole breadwinner, I’m the only one who can take care of my mom. AKA on top of all the pressure from college, I had to manage doctor appointment after doctor appointment, and it only adds up to more chaos as more doctors have to get involved.

BUT HEY!

I got through it in the end! And without withdrawing from any of my classes or getting a low grade! So the torture is thankfully over and I now know to literally never do that again for as long as I live— Now that it’s winter break though… 👀

🎉CONTENT TIME BABYYYYYYY🎉

So the good news of all of this is once winter break hit I uhhhhh got silly.

DUDES you won’t believe the sheer level of fucking insanity that took place once I was finally able to finish this semester, go on break, and actually write. I uh…

I finished Chapter 10 in two days🦐

Yeah I uh finished the fucking chapter in two days I am not shitting you. My ass went on break, sat down, and accidentally finished this long ass chapter that’s above 11K words within two days. It’s even funnier because I was tweaking so badly to work on MFIP the entire semester that once I finally sat down, I figured out exactly what I want to happen all throughout the rest of the arc. To properly explain, Imma just say how I usually work on my chapters.

I don’t actually have an organized outline for MFIP! I have a Google Docs full of ideas and certain beats I know I want the story to hit, and I generally know in my head what’s gonna happen. The details are what I figure out as I go, it’s like improv but for writing. Why don’t I just make a proper outline for the story? Because my brain genuinely can’t work that way for MFIP🦐✨ I’m not sure why; it’s not like I suck at outlines or anything, but MFIP just gets overcomplicated when I try to make an outline for it. There are so many different threads all tying back to each other that the only way I can properly comprehend it is by trusting what’s in my head.

I’m not going into detail to avoid spoiling, but I know exactly what most of the story is gonna be. I have an endpoint in mind, albeit one that’s very far into the future.

I knew what was gonna happen in the end of Arc One all the way from when I started the first chapter. That’s why the entire arc is building up or spiraling down to the events of Chapter 14. The difference is, now know 90% of the details for each of the remaining chapters too! It basically means I’ll have a very smooth writing process ‘cause all I have to do for these final chapters is to write them.

I’ve completely finished Chapter 10 and am currently around 5K+ words into Chapter 11.

Once my team finishes editing it, it’ll be published here and on AO3 as usual. I’m anticipating for it to come out sometime in late February!

HOWEVER, THERE’S ✨MORE✨MOTHERFUCKERRR

💥ONESHOTS💥

THAT’S RIGHT! We’re getting canon Oneshots along with the chapters! I’ll be posting them in a specific order, but I’ll say between which chapters the Oneshot takes pace in the author’s note so y’all can keep track easier~

The Oneshots will vary in POV. Sometimes it’ll be Salena, sometimes someone else.

I’ll make it obvious which character it is if it’s a relevant character at all but I’ll also, once again, leave the info in the author’s notes! We’re not tryna recreate FNAF here-

They’re a cool way to show more content to the story that’s either too short to fit a chapter, or just not from Salena’s perspective. They don’t HAVE to be read in order to understand the story of MFIP, but they do add a lot more substance to the events that transpire. It’s like peeling back to see another layer and more context.

The first oneshot Dear Moon will release soon after this update!

It might even release the next day, honestly. I really can’t wait for you all to read them! I think they turned out really well ;w;

✨To Art, or Not To Art? That Is the Question✨

Yeah I’ve been a bit indecisive on the whole art in the Updates thing

I’m not gonna post any art for this Update bc it’s already getting like WAY too long, but I’m debating the whole thing altogether. I don’t really think it’s necessary, and I would much rather make art its own separate posts on Tumblr and yap about ‘em there. It’ll def take off the pressure of creating a new art piece to talk about considering this is a fanfic not a comic. Otherwise my ass was scavenging through procreate for art like a hyena scavenges for meat💀 I might try out showing off all the art I posted here and link to the posts where I yap about them.

It’ll be like a gallery for all the pieces made between the Updates~

I think it’ll be more fun to post stuff that way instead, and also reduce how much I procrastinate with these Updates—

And That’ll Be All Folks~!

I think that’s everything for this Update. You guys have no idea how happy I am to FINALLY be back😭

Classes start again for me in around a week, but I’ll probably still have time to create stuff so won’t need a full blown hiatus again. It’s gonna be a bit tricky since my classes are very math-heavy and intense this semester, but I tried being smarter about my schedule to not overwhelm myself.

So yeah, I’ll keep working on MFIP and posting whenever I can! I’m so excited to finish off Arc One of the story and finally get to the part I’ve been building up to for around two years now. Only five more chapters to go~!

Some last little reminders!

Dear Moon Oneshot will be out within this week

“Are You Free Tomorrow?” Oneshot will be out sometime in late February

MFIP Chapter 10 will be out on the soonest Friday within that same week of February

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs