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U N S T E A D Y // X A M B A S S A D O R S [short cover by ysasugoi]

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S W E A T E R W E A T H E R // T H E N B H D [short cover by ysasugoi]

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P H I L I A // an essay on

L O V E

Pondering about what really is the essence of the word or the feeling love has long been an incessant process – as part of the human minds’ stream of consciousness in manifestations of questions of sentiment and sensation (i.e. in accordance with “trends” in the 21st century, the “ludus” kind of love; as one sees typical gestures in ludus such as playful holding hands, one may begin to recognize the rather romantic substance of the gesture and may begin to wonder about the feeling of the gesture and quite possibly, what it feels to be involved in such kind of love.)

Love is indeed a universal binding factor as is a central theme in a book – it keeps the elements intact and embeds the harmony and coherence of the flow of the story. But then, even if love is universal, for us, it is still subjective – not in ways of empiricism by recognizing and categorizing love into predetermined classifications, but rather in ways with which personal preferences, experiences and unexpected tales from daily lives are accounted for.

Love, for us, is what keeps life’s sufferings or absurdity to a minimum. It is as if regardless of the circumstances, there will always be a reason to be happy, to be grateful of. Backed with the knowledge and awareness of someone or a group of people recognizing your existence and somewhat augmenting your life with purpose of various intensities, may make one think that there really is so much to live for. Without love, everything would be just bland – a senseless walking on the surface of the earth, a life without purpose (In the first place, how would one even find his purpose in accordance with himself and the society he is existing in without love? If you don’t love or value something or someone [even oneself], why would it even be necessary for one to gain purpose? We mean, what for if one doesn’t have to achieve accomplishments for something or someone?), a constant linear view of things – mediocre and unextraordinary, bound by indifferent emotions and devoid of love-dependent extraordinary emotions – no Koi No Yokan, Gigil, Forelsket, Kilig, Meraki, Yuanfen and even Mamihlapinatapei, La doleur exquise and Viraag. But with love, most, if not all, just seems to be better, not only for the individual but also to the community as love tends to drive us to see the good in everything, ergo do well unto others. Love may not equate to absolute happiness but it comes close.

Indeed, love cannot only mean and do good or beneficial to one as possibilities of heart breaks, rejections and unfamiliarity are constantly lingering, just about there, always ready to pounce – this is why people are so afraid to show or develop feelings and eventually fall in love. But don’t be afraid to love! For love is a feeling with which its true essence and nature is not found on a mutual understanding but rather regardless of it. As the popular Filipino saying goes, “Walang masamang magmahal.” – yes, nothing is wrong with loving others //

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Title: [start][end] Explanation: The title actually really hits close to my personal struggles at the moment. To put things in my perspective, let’s just say that I’m not saying nothing goes right in life but I smile a little less every day that passes by. The activity in CPA (Contemporary Philippine Arts) actually kind of put me in an existential-crisis inducing state and got me deep-thinking about my situation. It was like a pause and reflect moment for me. Whilst in that state, I found myself looking at my watch as the seconds, then the minutes slipped away – dumbfounded at the fact how fast time is, and yet I’m still stuck in the moment. I also realized that the concept of time, especially its being so fast and so naïve of its power over us – like it won’t really stop for anybody, scares me the most. But then, time really is like most people we meet – either he is a friend or a foe, depending on you. But if you ask me what I did with time? I was neutral. I neither befriended him nor made an enemy out of him. I simply accepted, right there at the moment I took the photo, that it is at it is – continuous, unforgiving and naïve. But I also knew that there has to be a start and a corresponding end in everything under time. Even a day ends in 24 hours, a minute in seconds. So I guess, I took that concept and told myself that in time, things will get better. I am not sure if I am just at the start of my problems, halfway through it or nearly there – but one thing’s for sure; this will have an end like everything and everybody has… and I’m looking forward to it, hoping for better days ahead.//

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C H A S I N G. K A I R O S // POEM

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| A B O U T  T H E  B L O G|

This whole blog is going to be a mixture of music covers, edits, artworks and *drum rolls* my thoughts on rampant topics or just about anything under the fabulous, blazing hot body, ME. EW NO. HAHAHA. Under the sun!  I know, I know - “Who asked for your opinion?” Well uhm, no one did. But that won’t stop this blabber from sharing my some thought or two. I mean? What’s so wrong, right? I’m open for debates, conspiracy theory discussions and existential-crisis inducing conversations. The blog title is inspired by EDEN’s song with the same title. I think that it really has a nice ring to it and it fits the aestethic I’d like to achieve. To delve on the deeper meaning, as I said, I’d also blog about my opinion on matters, especially the negative ones, hoping to put an end to them. Like every start would meet an end.

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| J O U R N E Y a.k.a A LOVE STORY BETWEEN LIFE AND A JELLYFISH|

First off, I was born shy – I didn’t even need to be introduced to social awareness, really. It was like it is already coded in my genes. Tales of me crying the moment we stepped into a mall up until we go home never fails to make the top 10 stories of annual family reunions. They told me I would only stop once I had my face succumbed to my mother’s fresh-from-an-8-hour-shift armpit. I was 3 then.

Growing up, I didn’t really have much friends. There was this one time in preschool when I made a new friend then an hour later, I made her cry and she never talked to me again. New seatmate-the teacher asked the class to clean the room-didn’t like to clean the room-new friend loved cleaning the room-new friend started singing a song about cleaning (The song still haunts me to this day. It has a “swish-swish-swong Let’s clean!” part in its lyrics.) Told her “Wag ka nga maingay! Nag-aayos eh! Panget ng kanta mo! (Don’t be noisy! We are cleaning! Your song sounds ugly!)” Boy, EVERYBODY. WAS. SHOOKT. I didn’t expect my thoughts to just come right off my silly mouth. I don’t even speak at all when I was in school, so just imagine the look on my classmates’ and teacher’s face. :O She cried. Teacher transferred her to a new seat. Bye Ira, I’ll forever treasure our one hour friendship. It was then… I knew my future with socializing wouldn’t be fruitful.

I was bullied in grade 2 because I was a transferee. I was really just passive aggressive – like when we fall in line to get our notes checked and there’s a commotion happening, I would ninja my way to the bully’s place, secretly and rapidly place a kick on the bully’s leg and he’d be in pain but he wouldn’t be able to tell the teacher because really, who’s he going to blame? A ghost? NINJA-GAMING. BD You know, nothing much heh. I guess, from experience, it was easier to be bullied by a guy when you are a girl. But when a girl bullies a girl with her evil minions? Oh no. I really kept mum on that. When that situation arrives, kill them with success – I went on to be at the top of both sections.

Elementary years went fast. The bullying stopped because my mom transferred jobs to my school as a highschool teacher. I Graduated Valedictorian yey! Went into full-on Kpop madness. Met lots of girl friends.

My 4 years in junior highschool was indeed as roller coaster ride. Omg were there catfights? INDEED. But I stayed mum. It had a lot of drama, but you know, they weren’t mine heh. I guess, it was really chill and fun and had a lot of sudden turnout of events. From this experience I think, is where I acquired my chill attitude and really, there wasn’t much about my junior highschool experience that initiates hype. I WAS STRESSED most of the time though. I was the Vice President of our student council and I had to maintain my scholastic record. (Shoutout to scholastically pressured Asian children. We are Petmalu!) Like any other teen, I also experienced being sad (?) a lot. I felt a lot of pressure on my shoulders.

So now I am currently in my last year in Senior Highschool and so far, this, my senior highschool experience, has got to be the most enjoyable and the most depressing . I know, IRONIC. I transferred to Manila Tytana Colleges from my elementary and junior highschool school (I was there for 9 years) so the sudden change in environment really took a toll on me. As you guys know from the second paragraph, I am not good at making friends so it was a HARD time for me. Even up to now, I don’t even know how I made friends! My first real friend in MTC was Jam. (Shoutout to Jamia! Guurl!) The rest of the fun was history. The depressing part was when I lost some very valuable long-time friends. I know everything was my fault. But let’s keep moving forward, amirite?? While I guess I really did lose some friends, I gained new ones. I realized that everything is really just a cycle and a balance. Oh, and I met my awesome boyfriend and bestfriend! If I was asked what the best part of Senior Highschool was, it would be him. DEFINITELY. And he’ll still be in every chapter of my life. Yie. Hihi. So now, I am typing this and I had real fun reminiscing memories. Here’s to whatever comes next. Jellyfish out. –mic drop-  //

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Married to the skies//

© twitter

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| I N T R O D U C T I O N |

 Hello human! I am Ysabelle. But you can call me Ysa or Belle - whichever you prefer. I am living in this rather complicated world for 18 years now and guess what? I still can’t figure it out. Haha. Anyway, I am from the Philippines - hola! Oh, I mean, MABUHAY! I am a self-proclaimed artist and poet . I love alternative music, what ever subgenre. Sky junkie. Traveling junkie. Cat person. Dog person. Bat person. Sugar glider person. Jellyfish person. Mushroom person. NOT a ‘people’ person.  Definitely not an insect person. I am really awkward at first and I know most of the people here are awkward as well (uhm hello tumblr?) so let’s be awkward friends! Heh…. I am always up for for debates, conspiracy theory discussions and existential-crisis inducing conversations. //