#<- i also struggle with games that require actual work & effort

[miiblr]

You guys should friend me on here (I've had this switch for awhile)

SW-7243-5432-3142

YAY ^ let me know if you friend me ya

[blues824]

Second Years with a MC who is like Esmeralda from the Hunchback of Notre Dame(maybe include the pet goat?)

ColorMyTree is open! Feel free to leave a message on my Christmas tree. It’s free, so no money required. I also set it so that you don’t have to log in.

Disclaimers: I am not an expert on Romani culture. This is purely based on Esmeralda’s personality. Gender-neutral reader. Reader lives in Ramshackle, but is not Yuu. Characters include Riddle, Ruggie, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Kalim, Jamil, and Silver. In Silver’s, I put a small reference.

Riddle Rosehearts

You both actually despised each other at the beginning. You were very free-spirited and often enjoyed teasing him about everything just to make him upset. However, you always made sure to check in genuinely to see if you had gone too far with his boundaries. The first time you did that, he was actually surprised at the caring tone you had.

In classes, you were actually able to hold your own amazingly well. Not only were you competent, but you often found yourself neck-and-neck with Riddle when it came to answering questions and studying. However, unlike Riddle, you were also street-smart and not as naive, so you did feel a bit of a disconnect with him there.

Djali, your goat companion… familiar… whatever he was… he found him unsettling. He often headbutted into his leg whenever you both were walking together. However, he would switch up and lay in his lap when you both were in his dorm working on a project together. We just love a bipolar king, really.

Anyway, when you both end up getting romantically involved… everyone was surprised. However, it did actually happen that day you were at his dorm. The tension was clear to the both of you, and academic rivals turned into academic lovers. That was when Djali started really appreciating Riddle… especially since he could see that the Heartslabyul Housewarden looked at you as though you were the only being in existence.

Turns out, a free-spirited partner was really what he needed. After he overblotted, you took relaxation and breaks with him a bit more seriously. More dates, both large and small… more quality time… more words of affirmation… more physical affection like kisses and cuddles as well.

Ruggie Bucchi

You both related to each other on a book-smart and street-smart level. You respected his hustle, and he respected yours. However, you often danced for money, while he took up and assortment of odd jobs. Again, a hustle is a hustle, and game recognizes game.

However, he never realized how smart you were until you were both paired up during a project. Your goat seemed to like him, especially with how he settled into the hyena’s lap, which made you laugh a bit. But, that did lead to you pressing a kiss to Ruggie’s cheek as a ‘thank you’ for his help with a different assignment you were struggling with.

This was the start of your relationship. You often earned quite a bit of money as a performer at the Mostro Lounge, so you liked to spoil Ruggie with donuts whenever he had a particularly rough day in class, at his club, or serving Leona.

Everyone was a bit surprised to hear that the two of you got together. I mean, when you found out that Ruggie was behind Savanaclaw’s cheating, you were very upset and distanced yourself from him. However, he showed up at Ramshackle with a bouquet of flowers and some of your favorite snacks that he busted his ass to be able to afford for you.

From then on, you noticed that he always tried to make you happy, and the effort alone accomplished his goal since you loved him and his efforts. He considered himself a better person, especially with your encouragement to do better. Besides, the ear scritches were enough incentive.

Azul Ashengrotto

You had originally applied to be an entertainer in his lounge, and he asked what you could do. Needless to say, when you pulled out all sorts of magic tricks, your goat, and your dance moves, he was sold and immediately put you on the stage. The pay wasn’t incredible, but you were able to afford a few more luxuries that Crowley didn’t bother with.

Other than that, you both didn’t have much interaction outside of boss and employee, but then you saw your friends get taken advantage of. You were angry and you quit right then and there, which harmed the Lounge. Curse you for being a social butterfly with connections, Azul thought. So, he let your idiots go, and you returned to the Lounge.

Ever since his overblot, you felt bad for pushing him to his furthest limit, so you made him a self-care basket as he recovered. That was the start of a more romantic relationship, where he genuinely apologized to you. He allowed you to quit the Lounge in place of being his partner, who he loved to spoil.

You didn’t know struggle as much anymore, which you were grateful for. Djali was very happy to receive some snacks every single visit, and often rested in Azul’s lap as he completed homework or paperwork for the Lounge, or conducted business deals. That solidified this relationship for you.

Everyone noticed that Azul seemed a lot more chill ever since he got in a relationship with you. He also noticed that he often carried a new handkerchief in his breast pocket. Turns out, it’s yours, and you sprayed your cologne/perfume on it. He just wanted to carry around a small reminder of his beloved partner.

Jade Leech

He met you officially when you started working for the Mostro Lounge. Your dancing was enchanting, to say the least, and Jade found himself intrigued. Often, he would ask about your homeland, Fleur City, and the plant life there. You didn’t have many answers, so you just shrugged and brought some seeds back during one of your breaks where you got to return home.

During the events leading up to his boss’s overblot, you both were on different sides of the battle. You wanted your friends’ freedom, stating that the deal was unfair and unachievable to begin with. Your magic disappearing trick was definitely one that threw Jade for a loop in the ocean scene, and the way you teased them about not being able to catch you.

To say that at the end of everything, you were angry at Jade, would be an understatement. You were absolutely furious. You took back the seeds, which were plants at this point, and even sold off the terrarium he had made for you during your friendship. Fortunately, Yuu convinced you to forgive him (totally not because they were forced to), and you agreed to hear him out.

Jade presented you with a new terrarium, as well as the old one you sold off when you quit the Lounge in order to pay for some necessities. He bought it back from the student and gave it to you, which nearly made you cry and apologize. You paid him back with a kiss, and he was greedier than before and asked for a few more.

That was the restart of your relationship. He was happy when you came back to the Mostro Lounge, and you both would spend your breaks doing homework at one of the booths. It was a lovely way to spend time together, and it was a great way to get assignments done as well. It did take a while for Djali to like him again, though.

Floyd Leech

You were one of the only people who did not mind his clinginess. You were used to it with Djali, so it was like having another animal familiar trailing you around. However, this one was over 6 feet in height, and he was an eel, not a goat. It didn’t matter to you, though, since he offered a great deal of protection in exchange for attention.

However, shit hit the fan when Azul put your friends under contracts that were impossible to carry through, so you went on strike. Not only did this hurt the Lounge in terms of revenue, since you were an entertainer there, but it also made Floyd angry that you were no longer hanging out with him.

After Azul overblotted, Floyd went to Yuu to ask for help in getting you to forgive him. Yuu had never seen a grown eel-mermaid get down on his knees and beg for help, but there is always a first time for everything. He repeated the getting down on his knees and begging when he got to your room, and you offered to cuddle the sadness out of him which made him happy.

Ever since you forgave him, he has definitely been happier. You came back to the Lounge, and he was often completely captivated by your dancing skills. Not only that, but you often spent your breaks together, with him clinging onto you like a koala and telling you about his day. It’s gotten to a point where Azul begs you to move into Octavinelle with Floyd so he wouldn’t be pouty at night.

So you moved in, and Floyd was in a giddy state 24/7. You came to his games, you spent your work breaks with him, you lived with him… it was all he could ever ask for, really. The next step was meeting his parents, and he was especially excited for you to meet his mom.

Kalim Al-Asim

You both were opposite sides where societal and financial class is involved. However, some would think that this is why your relationship worked. He loved spoiling you, even before he became your boyfriend. You always felt bad about it, but he reassured you that it was perfectly fine and that he would just spend more money on you if you tried to argue.

Unfortunately, when it came to Jamil, you were very wary of him. Sure, you both came from poorer backgrounds, but you were able to see the Vice-Housewarden’s plan. If only your boyfriend believed you. However, it was only a matter of time before Jamil overblotted and threw all of you to the ends of the dunes.

To say you were angry not only at Jamil, but Kalim as well for not listening to you, was an understatement. As you all swam back to Scarabia, Kalim looked like a kicked puppy as you avoided each and every one of his touches. Djali was very torn, since he loved both you and Kalim, which made Kalim even sadder.

When the entire ordeal was over, you went back to Ramshackle and just gave Kalim dry responses, which shattered his heart and nearly made him cry. So, he asked Yuu how he could make it up to you. Needless to say, when you got back to your room at Ramshackle, your entire room was flooded with bouquet after bouquet of your favorite flowers.

You forgave him quickly, especially as he hugged your knees and begged until he cried. Unfortunately for your lips, you had to smooch the sadness out of Kalim. From that point on that day, he was very happy, and so was Djali. He didn’t have to be a child of divorce anymore.

Jamil Viper

You both came from familiar backgrounds… and by that I mean you came from familiar classes. Born as lesser-thans, trying to make names for yourselves. However, you were not born into servitude. You served yourself, and Jamil envied you for it. He was born with the job of serving Kalim, which made you pity Jamil.

Anyway, you both officially met when you were paired together for an assignment. Turns out, you both were a lot more alike than you thought. So, you started hanging out more often. You showed him a lot of fun things that you do in-town right below NRC for low prices, and he swears that he has never had more fun than when he was with you.

Unfortunately for the two of you, life is not all peaches and cream, so he overblots. However, since you were his partner, he keeps you with him as a sort of ego-stroke. You were heartbroken at being used by him in such a manner, and when everything was dealt with and Jamil’s overblot was stopped, you cried in your dormitory and didn’t answer his calls.

Your boyfriend felt like absolute shit for treating you as though you were some worshiper rather than his beloved partner, so he came with a bouquet and a meal he prepared to apologize. He walked into your room quietly and set his gifts on the desk before sitting on the floor next to you to beg for your forgiveness… and because you are who you are, you forgave him. Djali had a bit of a rougher time doing that, though.

From that point on, you both had dates where you spent time together, and he reassured you that he genuinely loved you and it was the overblot telling you that he saw you as someone to worship. You attended each of his basketball games, which he appreciated since he loved having his partner there to cheer him on.

Silver

He had met you during one of your dancing gigs at the Mostro Lounge. He was meeting up with a project partner at the Lounge to discuss a few last-minute details when he saw you. To say he was entranced would be a complete understatement… until you tripped and fell off the stage. He rushed to catch you, and he was very glad he did.

From that point on, you often called him your ‘Knight in Shining Armor’, much to his embarrassment and his father’s delight. Often, you both could be spotted on campus with him laying his head in your lap and sleeping… and Djali lays on top of his stomach to nap as well while you finish up some homework. Sebek did not like you very much, not just due to your status as a human, but also because he thinks you joke around too much. Lilia loves you as a child-in-law and often jokes about asking when the wedding shall be. Malleus enjoys your company as a friend and as a sort of sibling-in-law, if that makes sense.

You eventually moved into Diasomnia, opting to cook for everyone so that they didn’t have to suffer through Lilia’s cooking. Silver’s room became yours as well, and you often put in little pops of color everywhere. Not only that, but Silver often carried arround the handkerchief you gave him which added more color to his usual outfit. Besides, every knight carries a favor from his partner.

Silver loved you a lot, to be honest. You always stood up and argued Yuu’s case to Headmaster Crowley, often using your connections inside and outside of school to gather power and support. After all, the bird would rather not get news of his mistreatment of a magicless student to get out to news outlets. Ramshackle has benefited from your willingness to fight against unfair treatment, and so has Silver.

[godbirdart]

Looking at your recent commissions, those backgrounds are soo pretty!! Do you have any tips for backgrounds? I always struggle with them :>

aAA many many thanks!!

backgrounds can absolutely be a struggle but they don't have to be! they just require a little more creative planning~!

whether it be a commission or a personal drawing, if I'm building an elaborate art piece i focus on establishing the background First.

the background is the stage for your character! planning the background first will make it easier to tailor the character's actions and how they interact with the environment around them.

planning the background first can be the difference between your character standing awkwardly front and center with the setting going on behind them, or actually participating in their environment.

if i'm super stumped for background ideas, i browse stock image sites to get inspiration. sometimes it helps to doodle on an image to generate some ideas - kinda like you're playing with JPEGs like dolls.

that said - while i'm pinpointing WHAT i want to draw, i keep the ideas loose. i don't want to focus on the itty-bitty details until i've got the overall aesthetic and layout in mind, as i might get inspired to add something in later!

THUMBNAILING

if you're planning a big piece it can be helpful to break it down into something bite-sized before you go all in and start lining or painting. these are "thumbnails" - fast little sketches that establish the scene in a way that doesn't consume a lot of time or effort. it's also great as a little perspective exercise as a treat.

here i decided i want to draw a character walking home in a back alley street. with these photo references in mind, i can plan a layout and how the character will act in the scene. is this a candid shot? are they posing cutely? are they looking down at us in a tense way? there are many ideas to be had!

after you've chosen the layout / vibe for your idea, you can scale up your thumbnail to your preferred canvas size and start fleshing out the details. be sure to keep referring to your reference images to get additional ideas, such as storefronts, items, props etc!

3D MODELS

If you're trying to create a unique environment that photo references simply cannot help you visualize, 3D models exist! This gives you that ability to rotate / scale things for better visualization. Clip Studio has a vast catalogue of 3D models to download For Free that you can fiddle around with. i know there are many 3D builder sites out there as well, though i've never made use of them so i'm afraid i cannot recommend any off the top of my head. hell, you can even use the Sims game to design a setting and go from there!

also if anyone is going to come into my house and say 3D models are cheating: they are not. using a 3D model to better grasp an angle or get a better idea for perspective is not cheating. using 3D models to help plan the environment in your art is not cheating. they are no different than brushes; these are tools made to HELP YOU. use them!

PERSPECTIVE

perspective and angles can make a HUGE difference in the art piece. there's nothing wrong with static long shots! if that's what you want to draw, do it!! there's no right and wrong here!

but if you're finding your work to be a little robotic and stiff, slap an angle in there. consider an overhead view. these same techniques are applied to photography and film! nothing wrong with wide shots, but every once in a while it can help to throw in a dutch angle.

if there is one note i'd like to leave off on, it's that your backgrounds do not have to be 100% accurate-to-life to be Good. unless realism is something you're really striving for in your style, don't feel compelled to nitpick every brick and leaf in your art. us artists can tend to over-prune our work until our art looks a little bare and soulless. flaws can give your work character, and that's often a lot more appealing than how accurate the scale ratio between background building A and building B are [again, unless you WANT to go for that realistic look then you can fuss over those details all you like].

i hope this helped a little! MY APOLOGIES FOR MAKING IT SO LONG AH

[superbat-lmao]

In a family full of detectives, the Bats must have each come across situations that absolutely stumped them. Especially given the fact a lot of them have dealt with alien threats, magic, and meta humans.

So I like to imagine that all of them would hate those dinner party murder mystery games. Because they’re too easy. But they hate them in the way they hate new Lexcorp tech, they know exactly what could be fixed to make it actually functional. Or in this case, actually a mystery.

The struggle comes from deciding who is the one writing the mystery and who’s the one solving it. Because all of them are detectives in their own right and would get a kick out of this kind of enrichment.

Because Bruce would get a kick out a group birthday present from his kids where everyone is at the manor playing a character that severely contrasts their own personalities but is still meant to be frustrating for him. And the Batkids had trouble deciding at first who to make the murderer, trying to determine which kid Bruce would be most uncomfortable accusing of murder, even as a game.

Tim’s murder mystery would involve a lot of orchestration from Babs. He asked for the hardest mystery they could think of, so Babs has fabricated digital footprints, the Batkids stealth their way across the globe and he has to play a life sized game of Carmen Sandiego trying to track down his leads.

By the time it’s Dick’s then to solve a murder mystery, the Titans have found out about the games and get roped into playing. He’s also the only one who solves an actual murder alongside the fake case, making a realization about one of the cold case files he’s been working on in his off time.

For Cass’s murder mystery, none of the players are given information to conceal. They wrote narratives for each character to have committed the murder and then had a blind selection of the story line so that none of the players would know if their character did it. It’s like Clue, Cass has to check her deductions against a sealed card containing the answers. It was the only way they could think of stumping her with their body language.

Jason’s has Alfred’s involvement written all over it. Yes, the detective work is an amalgamation of the Batfamily’s efforts, but Alfred makes sure that certain character relationships and motivations parallel pieces from classic literature. It’s a trip down memory lane and all of the books that Jason read during his childhood at the manor and Alfred does his best to make him sentimental about it as part of the misdirection that Alfred’s character is the murderer. It almost works.

Steph’s murder mystery involves magic and aliens. She has a lot of practice solving day-to-day crimes so the family puts together the most absurd and abstract space and magic related case they can. It’ll flex some of her muscles when coming up against irregularity but it was also crafted to make her laugh. After all, who would have imagined there’s a species of alien out there allergic to waffles? It’s monotonous to face that same threats of muggings, trafficking, smuggling, murder, and other frequent Gotham crimes. Sometimes, you have to mix it up and remember reality can be absurd as well as commonplace.

Duke’s murder mystery is part of his “onboarding” into the batfamily. It relies on key observations from game-changing cases that the Bats have worked over the years that Duke wasn’t around for. He takes point during the day and helps out with larger cases, but it’s his first real test of handling the detective work of a multi-rogue level case by himself. And he’s good, breezes through things that had tripped up Dick or Tim during their Robin years but still finds ways to work through the parts that have him stumped.

Damian’s murder mystery is similar to Tim’s in that it is transnational and involves several famous and unknown art museums. It requires a lot of very specific information to uncover forgeries, complicated motivations, different layers of interrelatedness. It challenges him to think from specific details to connecting big picture movements and motivations of individuals and groups. Art was chosen as a through-point so that he would have an excuse to view galleries he had mentioned previously while still posing a challenge. It was a shock to more than just Damian when everyone realized Talia had agreed to play the red-herring.

Barbara’s murder mystery mixes several generations of technology. There are several layers of converting analog tech and different types of digital tech that tests her knowledge of the limitations of pieces of technology over the ages. It also brings her back into the field for recon in some creative ways since each of the Bats is a character and not able to do investigative work on her behalf. She solves her case the fastest of any of the Bats not because it was an inadequate challenge, but because she delegated her tasks as Oracle to Bruce and Tim and was able to devote 100% of her capabilities to solving this one case as opposed to her insane level of multitasking she’s usually operating at.

Alfred’s is also contained within the manor and treated similarly to an actual murder mystery. Everyone gets a kick out of him playing the part of the detective but slowly they begin to realize that some of the ways he conducts questioning witnesses or makes deductions is just slightly off from how Bruce does things. At first they seem to think Alfred’s putting his own spin on Bruce’s procedures but they begin to figure out that he’s following MI6’s standard operating procedures. They also realize that a lot of the Bats operating procedures are derivatives of different MI6 protocols. Clearly they’ve been updated or altered, but it’s all foundational, as though Alfred is writing the rule book before their eyes. It’s immediately obvious where the World’s Greatest Detective gets it from.

[pikawings]

Thank you all for the 100k hits everybody 😘💜💜 80% of it quite genuinly might be APAF but every single one of you who took the time to read the mess I make genuinly means the world to me, now more than ever. 💜

As an extra bit of a thank you, a writing progress update yap

APAF and BW are currently still on hiatus. Brain has not brained and due to outside influences any time i think about it, all motivation vanishes. Not even attempted chapter planning had any success so it's a real struggle at the moment. (Shoutout to that one ass on wattpad earlier this week that was leaving hate comments and tried to claim it as "innocent frustration towards the characters actions and thoughts" and not my writing. I hope the universe gives u the life u deserve) I'm too stubborn to abandon them so even if it takes 10 years. They will stay on hiatus until i have enough pre-written to start posting again. Current goal is 5 arcs (there are 15 arcs in total still remaining) for APAF and BW fully finished (3 chapters) but with 0 combined words written....it may take a while and for that im genuinly sorry to the people who are waiting on an update for those

In better news:

For the first time in 3 months I finally managed to write a whopping 800 words for a new one shot Careful What You Wish For. Shout out to that trash Lilo And Stitch remake for the glorious angst it spawned in my brain. I wont make any promises on when ill post again (as any posting is connected to APAF and BW progress) but once im actually done with it ill color it orange in my wip masterlist. Once its actually posted ill color it in with its corresponding fic length color with a link too, as will all other stories i made on the side

I also have a new wip for DPxMonsterHigh (VISP: Very Important Scaritage Project) in a way I've never seen before (aka my favorite type of wip to make). Let me just say I am beyond proud of the lore i made for this au and i genuinly cant wait to share it. Im still working on making my final pre-writing notes but im also planning a mini comic that spoils a main plot point at the same time so do please look forward to that. I'll be able to share the final panel of the mini comic before the story released but the precursors will need to wait until the posted chapters are at that point (shout out to xen for coping with the severe levels of yap this thing has caused and with the combined effort of karra as well for helping with the hell that is this mini comic)

I mentioned some months ago in a comment on here that i would have Astray done by summer. I have that fic now fully planned out to start writing as well as an accompanying mini comic but i have yet to have any spoons for the actual tippy tappying or arting for it. Its not much of a progress update but know that i am just trying to fix the severe spoon shortage before writing can start

I have tried to work on Let The Wind Carry Your Call as well as The Game Of Family (check out the art i did make in case anybody is interested) but both of those are currently stuck at the part that covers Jason's death and ya gorl does not have the emotional stability to handle that atm. Overall very little progress but still progress nonetheless

The Curse Of Afterlife has been mentally fully plotted but my notes are still incomplete. The ability to cross off a plotpoint/scene is what had been helping as of late so im trying to stick to that structure

Not only did i finish fully plotting and chaptering Phantom Guardian, it now has a yet to be named sequel that is halfway planned out. I want to wait with calling PG1 ready to start writing in case details in PG2 will require retconning the current plot but it is nearing completion and awaiting available spoons

I hope this counts for something so rest assured, when I return to posting, there will be loads of new stuff for you all to enjoy. Again a big thank you to everybody who stuck by me so far and an even bigger thank you to everybody who chooses to come along for the ride during this hiatus of mine 💜💜😘

[tainbocuailnge]

it sucks that all the knight parts of arknights ch11 are just not great. i think they're very good at writing the struggles and resistance of ordinary people through the salvation corps and people like miss golding and feist's grandma, and also at like the terror of facing powerful sarkaz in battle and amiya briefly experiencing the ancestral suffering of existing as a sarkaz and stuff like that, so from one scene to another the tension is maintained well enough even if i think the pacing isn't great. except when it's about the glasgow gang. when it's about them there's just suddenly nothing happening.

and it's not unclear what they're supposed to be contributing to the story here: victoria had been falling apart under the selfish greed of its nobility long before the sarkaz occupied the city, and to save victoria requires having a vision of how you want to define victoria, of what parts of victoria can and should be saved. the culture of victoria built much of its sense of honor and justice on the image of its (steam) knights so there is a message in the steam knights being missing and the heir to the throne and her knights being a street gang. what is worth swearing loyalty to as a knight when the difference between the throne and the people, between the concept and the lived reality of victoria is so vast? these are classic knight themes and very easy to work with because of how timeless they are. there is potential too in the contrast between victoria's lost knights (as an ideal warrior that fights to defend its homeland) versus the sarkaz mercenary soldiers (the reality of warriors fighting to reclaim and avenge a lost home) and how people like horn straddle the line. they touch on it briefly when golding laments that the play about the steam knights that she hoped would teach the kids knightly ideals only cements the image of the steam knights as a bludgeon against their enemies.

but every time the focus is on the actual royal heir and her knights they keep telling you the same shit. vina is an important figure. vina has an important choice to make soon. vina has much responsibility on her shoulders. vina has many people putting their trust in her to make an important choice soon because she is important. shit dude we've known that since the game released, we were all waiting for the main story to go to victoria and finally let her do shit, and now 2 chapters of 20+ stages in victoria later she's still not really done anything at all except stand around and have other people tell you how important she is and how she's definitely gonna do something important any moment now. all this effort to get her hands on the royal sword with hardly any indication of siege's own capabilities or convictions as a ruler. everyone in glasgow gang keeps gassing her up and she's just standing there.

so you end up not buying any of the knightly ideals they're talking about because for every time dagda or indra or morgan say they're protecting victoria and its future by sucking up to siege there's a factory worker risking it all and building a doohickey to actually make a stand with. and when you finally find the sword of victoria's kings your path is barred by the last steam knight who still moves through pure strength of will to protect the one thing he can still truly say is "the victoria he fought for", and you're not even obligated to actually fight him. man, what are we even doing here then.

[ayaisokay]

The Kids Aren't Alright

* ~ I'm sorry for making this ~ *

Doomers & Fatalism

Regardless of your age, you need a reason to move forward. You need hope. Yet, it's hard to find hope for teens and young adults.

Not a year goes by without an update on the planet's decline (at our hand), wealth is only feeling more unstable and unequally distributed, a pandemic destroyed any hope of sociability for some, and social media does more harm than good when it "connects" people.

There's no true community, nothing to take pride in, there's hardly motivation for ambition or wealth. Hell, we grow up being told we'll be a generation of renters, because it's a statistical improbability than any of us will EVER afford a home without working 3 jobs into our grave.

I can't speak for America, but I know my government haven't made any real effort to prevent renter's from taking that news and slowly inflating rent costs each month.

I'm a part of the generation that is thought to deal with the broadest range of mental health concerns; however, I'm also part of the generation that's most likely to be told to "deal with it," or "grow up," by the people perpetuating our suffering, or the peers that fell victim to toxic hustle culture— enabling the shitty circumstances.

When you start adulthood with so many problems that directly impact your life, most of which come at no fault of your own, you'd hope for help in addressing those matters, but it never comes.

We're told we're lazy, we don't try hard enough, and we've got it easy (which is a demonstrable lie). How is it any surprise we became hopeless doomers? At some point you just get the idea that we were destined to fail.

Threats of War

Now we're told to be ready for World War 3 and I'm struggling to understand why. What values am I defending? Why should I die for a country that doesn't care about me?

Sure, Ukraine and Palestine are in shitty situations, but saying that doesn't require me to do anything. Though they demonstrate something: the government will risk our lives for money, and turn a blind eye to genocide if it suits them.

All that matters is that we're made to feel like our interests align. They don't represent us. They represent themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I don't support either conflict, and I sympathise with the aforementioned nations; however, I am not willing to die for them— I don't think you are. So is it even fair for us to bother complaining? It's not like diplomacy has done a thing so far.

Whether we're roped into a war or not, it doesn't feel like we'd have a choice.

Hobbies and Corporations

Normally I'd propose finding an outlet for everything. I'm not sure that's ideal anymore. Commonplace hobbies like gaming, sports, martial arts, reading, and art, they require 3 things: time, motivation, and effort.

Thanks to hustle culture, holding 3 jobs, running a drop shipping business, and abandoning any meaningful social life is considered just enough and reasonable. That doesn't leave time for personal hobbies, entertainment, or time to actually live. A life like that is no life at all. You're an animal operating on the exclusive goal of survival. You're alive, but you're not living.

Among those of us too physically or mentally scarred to work like our peers, we compassionately took to pen and paper, or software and devices, writing stories, drawing and animating worlds, or making music.

I fear that pocket of joy is getting smaller. AI image generation has already impacted artists, AI voice recreations are already being used in place of some voice actors, and we've all seen the AI voice covers for songs— claiming "you don't need to learn to sing." It didn't take long for me to see "generative AI" being proposed as a source for track samples and stems in music production.

Considering such things, it's hard to motivate yourself to put your work out there. You struggle to justify spending time creating anything, and you're probably not ready to put the effort into producing enough algorithm optimised works per day. After all, no one will see it. No one cares.

That's how it feels.

Social Media

Maybe we still have digital spaces? Really. Are cespools like Twitter spaces you can enjoy? Even Tumblr is quite detached, with small accounts struggling to get so much as a couple likes— nevermind a reblog, and god forbid you get a comment or DM.

That's minor though, it's the relationships that bother me. The ability to lock someone out of your life, within 5 seconds, for the slightest of perceived infractions. You're sensitive and a snowflake if you need boundaries, and you're "rude" and "mean" when you're pushed too far for not establishing them.

You can join a fandom or community and run into those issues, but do you really need more trouble? Ive hung around with furries since I was 13 or 14. It wasn't a furry that SA'd me, and I've never been groomed. But as a child online, I was labelled as a dog fucking groomer (at 15), because I was in a furry community discord server. I don't like to think about how that made the young adult owner of the server feel.

Social media is good for "satirical trolls," who take pleasure in hurting as many people as they can, and then claiming it's OK because they're joking, and you should've known. Is it really worth the effort for anyone else? You know, us "normal people," not bogged down by million strong fanbases, actively managing parasocial relationships and morally questionable stalking.

Closing Statements

I'm not entirely sure why I wrote this post. I guess I'm just another girl crying on the internet when I should save it for the therapy I can't actually afford.

I want to be hopeful, to feel like there's something attainable to desire, or even just things to look forward to. It's been a long time since I woke up and felt there was a good reason to be awake or even alive.

Thanks,

- The Girl That Doesn't Exist

[grassgirl]

How to Touch Grass When You’re Allergic

You know how when you’re doing something chronically online, or stressing about something seemingly insignificant, and the people around you tell you that you need to “touch grass”?

I found myself at odds with the very idea of touching grass.

When I first got to college two years ago I had all the confidence and fervor in the world. I was social, athletic, and always outside running around, breathing in the fresh air and running through the grass without a care in the world. But through a series of trials and tribulations - including but not limited to a myriad of health issues in the past year and my family losing their home while I was at school - I found myself being intensely depressed and losing confidence. Someone told me that the root of a lot of my problems was that I wasn’t comfortable being alone, so I worked for a year to finally found some semblance of solace in solitude.

But now I’m so used to my own company that I rarely leave the house. I don’t see my friends. I miss meals, sometimes on accident and sometimes on purpose. I’ve gained weight and am starting to redevelop a negative self-image. I no longer choose to be alone, I feel like I must be alone to feel safe.

To make matters worse, I also realized a new problem - my allergies. I went outside less and less, and now that I was in a new place I found myself struggling with a new problem - allergies. I’m super allergic to grass and pollen, and in this new college environment with all the foreign trees, allergies were kicking my ass just as bad as the other stuff. I used my allergies being a catalyst for worse health issues as a way to justify not leaving the house unless absolutely necessary. In about a year, the joyful and outgoing version of myself that had entered college was nowhere to be found, replaced instead with a self-conscious, overthinking hermit who trauma dumped to their friends in text messages and didn’t answer my mother’s phone calls.

Something needs to change.

I know some of the solutions to these problems on a common sense level. If I’m having issues with my allergies progressing to more serious illnesses from a weak immune system, I need to schedule a meeting with a doctor, go to my checkup, and get allergy medicine so it won’t bother me as much. Simple!

But the issue isn’t figuring out the solution, it’s actually going through the effort to see that solution through. I’m too broke for Uber, and the bus and walking are certainly options for most, but both take a while and require me to walk through long stretches of grass which will risk worsening my condition before I get to the clinic. Not a risk I’m willing to take even though I know they can help me with the problem once I get there, simply because it’s so uncomfortable short-term. No clinic means no checkup, and no checkup means no prescription. My allergies spiral as the pollen does through the air. I’m trapped inside gazing outside at everyone else enjoying the cooling breeze with all the vents and windows closed, burning in my non-air-conditioned room because I have no other means of alleviating my symptoms.

My allergy connundrum serves quite nicely as an analogy for my life in other regards. I’m so comfortable being on my own now that reaching out to others makes me unhealthily anxious. I don’t want to be perceived and I don’t want to fail and I certainly don’t want to be perceived failing. My fear of it all is what keeps me from doing the necessary stuff to improve my life.

Tl;dr - I desperately want to touch grass again, but I’m allergic.

Since having this realization, I came across a YouTube video from creator Eddy Burback about living without his phone for a month because he realized he hates it and the anxieties he received from its contents outweighed its convenience short-term. The video got the cogs in my head turning about forcing myself to . From there, I watched a Game Changers clip, where Sam Reich said his signature phrase, “The only way to learn is by playing. The only way to win is by learning. And the only way to begin is by beginning.” I’d heard it about a million times before, but this time, along with my realization and the Eddy video, I saw this line differently.

If I am going to be able to go to the doctor, or to solve the problems in my life, I need to go outside. And there’s no new strategies I need to prepare to go outside. I know how, I do it for my classes (much closer to my dorm than the clinic and less likely for me to face my allergies so quickly, but still the point stands - if I can do it in short bursts, I can eventually do it in long ones).

If I was going to go to the clinic, the only way to begin to leave the dorm was by beginning to leave the dorm.

So that’s what this blog is. Me learning how to leave my dorm, and by proxy my comfort zone. Me learning how to chase the internships I want, to make new friends, to learn new skills and improve the old ones. Me using this blog as a diary and a way to express the things I either can’t or shouldn’t say in my everyday life. And I’m blogging it all on Tumblr because having something to update will hopefully keep me accountable, but it being here instead of Instagram or TikTok keeps me from feeling suffocated by the eyes of people I know and the cursed connected contacts feature. Every 2 weeks, I’m going to experiment with a couple new goals or ideas that I believe will help me improve some aspect of my life. I’ll try to update the blog 2-3 times per week. Maybe more. Maybe less. We’ll have to see how it pans out. But the goal is to come up with ideas, start working towards the ideas, and see how I feel after trying the ideas out. And hopefully, I’ll find some habits that I like and want to continue. If my story resonates with you, I’d love for you to join me. Maybe we can hold one another accountable and make new friends, lol. But if not, that’s cool too. For now, I’m gonna draft some ideas and update you all with my first couple goals when I wake back up tomorrow.

Goodbye for now,

grassgirl 🌱

[vilevexedvixen]

Fairly sure I have ADHD but will likely not be medicated (officially) for several years!

I literally fulfill enough of the diagnostic criteria for ADHD to qualify for medication:

Often has trouble holding attention on tasks or play activities.

Often has trouble organizing tasks and activities.

Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to do tasks that require mental effort over a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).

Is often easily distracted.

Is often forgetful in daily activities

Often fidgets with or taps hands or feet, or squirms in seat (*NOTE: I repressed these with immense amount of effort for fear of being bullied, because even minor fidgets like licking my lips or "blinking too much" were noticed by my peers who then felt compelled to pull my hair, poke me, and laugh at me for it. These days I am almost constantly fidgeting, because I have more control over the company I'm in and have the confidence to put up with judgemental assholes in public.)

Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected

Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is not appropriate (adolescents or adults may be limited to feeling restless)

Is often “on the go” acting as if “driven by a motor.” (*It is physically painful for me to walk slowly / slower than my usual brisk pace. I struggle to be present.)

Often talks excessively (*My 9 in English Language and 8 in English Literature (that's A++ and A+ for Americans) is mostly due to this!)

Often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed (*I know when my partner is about to ask me to brush his hair before he's finished the first word. I struggle to stop myself from doing this with my mum because I know it annoys her since my step-dad has a habit of talking over her. Most stories are boring to me because of how predictable they are, so I prefer more esoteric and abstract work, or those that are more viscerally disturbing or emotionally provocative such as tragedies. I regularly get into stories out of chronological order or only engaging with the bits I find interesting while skipping the "filler"- unless I've latched onto a particular character or it is a book, which I instead read slowly and often have to re-read bits due to processing it wrong.)

Often has trouble waiting their turn (*I have to distract myself / forget about things or else I would go mad waiting. People IRL consider me remarkably patient and calm, but that is a farce :3)

Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games) (*I have learnt to avoid this but I still get it wrong sometimes.)

I also meet these criteria:

Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms were present before age 12 years.

Several symptoms are present in two or more settings, (such as at home, school or work; with friends or relatives; in other activities).

There is clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with, or reduce the quality of, social, school, or work functioning.

Unsure if a different disorder could explain all this better.

This, like with autism, is something neither of my parents thought to get diagnosed. I got no additional support in school, in fact I was often expected to act as an unofficial teaching assistant to other students because I was a "good student". My parents were often frustrated that I would change my extracurricular activities fairly often. Most only lasted a year or two: Athletics, ice skating, scouts, aikido, drama, mandarin... Most of which fell through because eventually I always dreaded going. Sick to my stomach, dread. It didn't matter if I was good at the activity, it didn't matter if I initially enjoyed it or even still did! Like clockwork, eventually, I would hate it and be desperate to move on. I never made friends in any of my clubs. I was frustrated that the friend groups that were there seemed more interested in talking than actually engaging in the club's activities. But since that was no different from my school experience until year 10, that wasn't really what I think made me want to leave.

Alongside all that I had about a dozen hobbies and interests that also changed regularly even if I returned to them. It's less that I would stop caring about something entirely once I moved onto something else, rather it was put on hold - ready to be returned to in my own time. Writing, drawing, painting, sewing, cosplay, keyboard/piano, german language, video games, exercise and aerial dance in terms of hobbies. That's just counting the ones I've stuck with for nearly a decade now, not the many I attempted and truly dropped like game design, animation, football, violin, knitting, and all the ones I listed in my afterschool clubs. Then there's all the fandoms / games / shows I love which I flip-flop between like a jaunty merri-go-round!

My older sister (as a kid; she's lovely now she's grown up) mocked me for "being in my own world", things I added to conversations not "making sense" with the flow of the conversation even after explaining my train of thought to her, and my difficulties filtering out visual and auditory distractions at school. It never mattered how much I reached out for help or described my struggles, I never got any support - while boys in my class with the exact same issues got to study in their own special room(s) with an extra member of staff to help them. But oh no! I guess I scored too highly in that one english test for my struggles to be real (even as I flunk a different subject because of them and instead of seeing that as an indicator they just go "oh no - try harder" or "lol I knew you were secretly stupid" like wtf????).

This isn't part of the diagnostic criteria, but I remember the kids who all got ADHD diagnoses being little shits - which the adults around me considered me to not be and therefore couldn't be ADHD! Those other kids who acted in the most sadistic ways a kid could get away with were always excused because they "couldn't help it", but me? Oh I guess I was always responsible despite ALSO being a fucking child with the same fucking issues - oh but I COULD help it, could I? I developed massive internalised ableism, unsurprisingly. Both out of vitriole against what I saw as misdiagnosed bullies using it as an excuse to escape accountability, and because I was always told all my difficulties were in my control and dependent on how much I effort I put in. I've only just about worked through it since attending uni, but the guilt is still there.

I am fairly certain irritability is a pretty tell-tale sign of ADHD in children, or at least it was when my classmates were getting diagnosed. I have the fire of a thousands suns simmering inside me most of the time and, (again) like clockwork, I would have a violent meltdown about once a year. Usually resulting in whomever was stupid enough to target me that day being sent home bleeding or crying. But again, not cause for diagnosis! Even after the third incident. Comedy comes in threes so I feel I have to laugh or else I'd cry with how ridiculously blind my teachers were!

I cannot stress enough just how fucking obvious all this was. It was in broad daylight and STILL no one thought to help even when directly asked! Is it any fucking wonder that I am suffering from such profound skill regression and burnout after YEARS of this shit. Seeing manipulative assholes get doted on while I was expected to not only truck on with no help but actively kiss their fucking arses!

[moonshine-nightlight]

🛠 and ❤️ for the ask game!

@roaring-letters

thanks for the ask! 💖 to you too!

🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

Honestly I'm struggling most right now with editing Dale as in i havent gotten anything done in months and probably won't while work is still busy. editing for the manuscript prior to giving it to a real editor just requires a lot more focus and mental effort than writing or even just a quick edit before posting and its a lot harder to find the bandwith after working all day to get that done.

For actual writing, Courtship Confusion has a brief little action scene that i can very easily picture in my head, but am having trouble getting onto to paper in a way that translates correctly. Also, the next few chapters are primarily a conversation that covers a lot of diff topics so making those transitions work and keeping the scenes interesting as challenges I'm trying to manage.

thanks again!

[about27th]

job hunt tipssssss (and lessons learnt..)

tailor your resume to each position you apply

(1) always make your employers' job easier

include only the relevant experience and keep the descriptions straightforward.. recruiters are basically just ticking boxes, make it easy for them to do so or expect them to bin your CV after a quick glance

(2) have too many part-time/work gaps?

i highly recommend using a skill-based CV than a chronological CV for this case; not only is it waaaaaaaaaay easier to prepare but also makes your experience look more put-together since you can mix & match your relevant skills.. give it a shot if you've inconsistent work history or want to have a career change; i should mention it's also a game changer for people whom English isn't the first language

(3) review your cover letter before heading to an interview

i mean you've already explained why you're a great fit for the job in the application, just take advantage of that effort and reiterate everything during the interview --- preparation done!

dont use the same answer for interviews

.. it'll definitely make you come across as average

there are 3 key and frequently asked questions you should be ready for:

(1) tell me about yourself

start with a basic introduction, followed by your previous work experience (again, making them relevant to the job) and wrap up with a glimpse of your personality -- for instance, say something like.. I see myself as an ambitious and self-motivated person (.. and how these qualities fit the job profile!)

(2) what do you know about us/ why do you want to work for us

always research the company; mention its values or services, and how they resonate with you

(3) what can you offer us/ why do you think you suit this job

highlight how your experience aligns with the job requirements; this demonstrates your dedication and preparation.. and also shows the employer what they can expect from you

i hate interviews (who doesnt?).. i believe many of us are very qualified for jobs we're interested in but often struggle to demonstrate our competence effectively; my way to make the process less agitating is to view it as a cool opportunity for employers to learn about us: it's not an exam.. rather, it's a level playing field where two or more strangers come together to mutually explore each other.

this is your chance (after putting so much effort into preparing the application) to shine and let them know you're the perfect fit for the job they're offering!

never trust the reaction of the interviewer!

some interviewers acted super affirmative to each of my responses, making me feel like i was nailing the interview.. but then i ended up getting no job; i understand the intention is to encourage interviewees during the process, but pls dont take them too seriously and get carried away

stay focused and humble instead

always reflect after each experience (exactly what i'm doing now)

it's important to reflect on your performance and seek improvement for future applications

i always discover areas that could be done better while preparing for new job applications, even though i felt that i'd already given my best for the last one

the competition is fierce but dont worry about competing with others (what you cant control); instead, concentrate on what you can control --- demonstrating how you're the best candidate!

always put yourself in your employer's shoes and do the homework; focus on the good and keep trying, one day all your hard work will pay off and get the job you deserve

.

(i regret so much that i didnt perform better during my interview🥲i dont want the same to happen to you, pls take my tips and prepare as much as you cn💔)

.

quick update - i actually ended up getting the job🤘

if someone like me, who struggles with English, can get a job in the UK after all the challenges, you can land the job you want too. trust the process - I believe in you!

[16naughts]

Dev Log Apr 18 - Pro Tip: This ain't Hollywood. Stick at it.

This is a bit of a rant separate from my normal topics about development here that you'll likely never see again, but I really feel like I can save some people a little bit of heartache with this. My forte is (obviously) the technical side, but this is currently a one-man show, so I also have to draw and animate all of the graphics, compose all of the music, record all of the sound effects, design the stages, and do all of the marketing and business stuff. I can afford to do it because of some extreme planning spanning over a decade and a couple of lucky breaks. But, if you want to go fully indie, you will be doing most of this too at some point. So at this time, since it's still relatively quiet around here and nobody can claim survivorship bias, I really, really want to impress on anybody also considering taking the plunge: Your game is not going to blow up overnight. Ever. Period. The concept of the game dev has been extremely romanticized as this David vs Goliath struggle against the AAA industry, and being tied so closely with the flash-in-a-pan culture that is the internet, it's kind of bled over into mainstream culture as well. The cold reality is that if your game makes it to release, you're in the minority. And then if you can crack 5 sales on your first title within the first year, I'd consider that an overwhelming success. When Crescent Roll released on Steam, I counted 75 other titles released the same day. The fact that we sold any copies at all was a miracle in my eyes, but I'm not getting the same response from anybody else. It's always "what a shame, it looks so nice". And this isn't the schoolyard bully pointing and laughing - it's your friends and family trying to be consoling, but in doing so are inadvertently labeling your efforts a failure. They don't know that it hurts. A lot of people in art communities get it, but a lot of the people in more tech-oriented stuff (like game development) don't seem to experience it quite as much: gaining traction takes time. Pizza Tower? 5 years of development. Marketing for it started before development actually began, as McPig was using Peppino in comics and other games. Terraria? Redigit found his team and an audience working on the fan game Super Mario Bros X. Balatro? LocalThunk had 48 wishlists at the end of the beta. Go read his website. Among Us sat for almost 2 years before blowing up, and Henry Stickman was already popular. Nobody ever bursts onto the scene and just immediately grabbed the world's attention from nowhere. If it looks like they did, you're missing at least half the picture. it will be soul-crushing when nobody wants to play that thing that you spent a year of your life on. But making any kind of art is always a slow burn. The key is going to be persistence. And I don't mean just throwing as much stuff at the wall as you can - pick a direction, put out your best work, and just keep pushing it forward. It doesn't have to be free updates: make more good games, post art, whatever. Keep your presence known. Obviously, this is all talking to the dreamers who have been sketching level concepts in their notebooks since grade school. If you need money, you're really looking in the wrong place. And you should really, really make sure you can take care of yourself financially before venturing out into no-man's land here, 'cause you'll be in the hole for a while. So this isn't so much an inspirational thing, as more of a warning for others considering going full indie - it's tough. You'll need discipline to get there, and then more discipline to keep it up. I thought I was over-prepared for our jumping-off, and we still ended up having to defer features for after release, and still don't have a real trailer yet. So, if your plans require overnight success, you might want to stick with your day job for a bit longer until it doesn't have to. Which it won't. Trust me.

[faineantgrl]

Introduction

click here for plaintext version

[ID: pinkish purple leafy divider. end ID]

• KB • Mirror Pronouns, use your pronouns for me (Other users: they/it) • Minor •

Hi! I am KB. ND and other stuff, but I am not required to tell total strangers that. Use tone-tags whenever possible in direct conversation with me.

Due to memory issues I often use they/them for everyone, as pronouns are one of the things my brain decides isn't worth the effort. Even if it seems I am remembering your pronouns, the next I will not remember shit. I am just as mad at my brain as you are.

Unfortunately, I did not get the quirky neurodivergence. I am, in comparison to other people, very jumbled and sometimes unable to actually express what I'm talking about. Feel free to ignore tags when I specify a ramble warning; move tumblr arguments into DMs so I don't also have to specify things for a wider tumblr audience, and check in to make sure we both understand the other!

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder that manifests with some OCD-esque symptoms. I am on medications but it can only help so much. Please do not tag me‚ send me asks about, or demand that I interact/reblog with donation or political posts. Not only do I have compulsions to fully (re)vet these posts, a time consuming manner, but I am also easily triggered into spirals due to the evils of the world. Go do something actually useful for these causes than bully a random tumblr user.

dividers by: @strangergraphics-archive / @strangergraphics / @lunaridae

All my icons and banners are taken from official sources, with minor color/background edits by me unless stated otherwise across all blogs.

[ID: pink and white divider, mostly a row of pink hearts broken up by a cassette tape. end ID]

art blog: @kilobyteart

[ID: fancy green divider. end ID]

I have SynthV Pro (Mai, Teto, Gumi, Una) and OpenUtau. I hope to one day make music myself. I also draw a lot.

Special Interests: Toontown, Hypnofantasma

current other interests (not all my interests, just the ones I am focusing on right now that I recall): Vocal Synths [ethical kind, if you're wondering if xyz is ethical, just ask!], Invader Zim, corru.observer, Daniel Mullins games, 98xx, Parties Are For Losers (pafl), and so, so much more!

Feel free to ask about other media. One day I will make a complete list of all my interests, active or not, but that day ain't today

[image ID: a caution tape divider. end ID]

Ughhhhh DNI ig

ok listen we both know i would not be doing this if it didn't WORK in some way. lets go [in no particular order just as i think of them]

bigots. you know who you are [that includes you TERFs and zionists]. also GRAAAAAAAAA I LOVE INTERSEX PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People who actively fully engage with antiship/proship discourse outside of necessity. you assholes make fandom so much harder. lets get this out of the way no real books should not be censored, no ao3 is NOT part of that because it's not a real archive (if you'd like me to explain what that means, feel free to ask!), yeah write if it heals your trauma but you still have to follow the rules everyone else does if you decide not to state that purpose when publishing, thinking adult x minor ships is cute or hot is not actually slay behavior, and if kids are allowed to be on a certain platform they should be able to experience fandom safely [NOTE: certain sites "have" warnings/blockers but, like twitter before elon musk, they don't actually work. keep that in mind.]

Anti-Endogenic people. No, syscourse people, it's not just about system formation!! A lot of people have disorders that mostly form due to trauma without known trauma. They are valid because they truly exist, and it doesn't erase the struggles the disorder and people will cause due to it.

Label Discoursers and People who think uncommon labels are cringe/not real. You guys are assholes and don't actually help anybody

That being said, anti-paraphilia or pro-contact. Not everyone can control that attraction (and deserve support), but also, everyone can control if they touch a kid.

People who don't believe in transandrophobia, as in, transphobia inherently related to being perceived as a man and vice versa (sexism inherently related to being percieved as a ftm transgender person). i believe i already got the other types of transphobia but thinking trans men aren't oppressed [or are in a ""negligible""" way] is the hot new tumblr thing so i gotta specify that appearently

ok a weird one but people who unironically use theyfab. unlike Karen, which is just a name used to describe these kinds of people, theyfab feels a little too close to "girl whose pretending to be transgender 🙄" for comfort! come on girliepopbosses we can do better

[astarions-bride]

I just KNOW that some of these characters are Doms in the bedroom. Which ones do you think?

I can see them all actually as Doms to some degree 🤔 I'm not an expert so I did some research and this is how I, personally, would categorize them.

Nikolai

Total Power Exchange (TPE) Dominant

"TPE Doms are dominant partners with complete control over their submissive. Like with a Master or Mistress, a TPE Dom’s control extends outside of the confines of scene play. Total domination includes control over many aspects of the submissive's life, such as decision making, daily routines, maybe even finances, as well as play and event protocols. Total power exchange dynamics regularly involve contracts, rituals, collaring, the use of honorific titles ("Master" "Mistress"), and rigorous, ongoing negotiation."

Charlie

Master

"Masters and Mistresses take on an assertively dominant role in the relationship and often have long-term, committed relationships with their submissive partners, even if not an exclusive relationship. Masters and Mistresses often require their submissive to wear a collar in honor of their devotion to their Dominant and to use honorific titles when referring to their dominant, such as exclusively calling them "Master" or "Mistress". Masters and Mistresses also can explore Total Power Exchange dynamics with their kinky partner/s."

Anthony Bridge

Sensual Dominant

"Sensual Domination is a dominant style that prioritizes pleasure over pain. While the goal of domination remains asserting control over a submissive partner, the means are sensual and tactile in nature and can involve worship. A sensual dominant focuses on overwhelming their submissive’s senses with pleasure and often provide nurture to their submissive in scene play and beyond."

Rob

Soft Dom

"Soft Doms, like a Caregiver Dominant, focus their efforts on affection, guidance, and encouragement. Soft Doms, rather than punishing, inflicting pain or demanding total submission, focus on creating a supportive environment that prioritizes their submissive’s pleasure with tools like praise, gentle teasing, sensual touch and positive reinforcement."

Captain Hook

Brat Tamer

"Brat Tamers are BDSM dominants who use discipline to dominate and control their disobedient submissive, aka their “brat.” A Brat Tamer must earn their partner’s submission and may use a variety of approaches from punishments, withholding desired experiences, and creative cat-and-mouse games to prove their dominant stance and “win” their Brat’s compliance. This power dynamic is rooted in the consensual struggle between a brat who breaks the rules and the Brat Tamer whose work is to get their submissive in line by a variety of assertive means."

Richard

Service Dominant

"Service Doms are kinky dominants who prioritize their submissive partner's pleasure and satisfaction. Service Dominants may act on their service orientation through sexually pleasing their submissive partner, or providing other acts of service such as running errands, attending to household tasks or repairs, among other services. Service Dominant may also refer to professional Dominants who provide services to clients."

Mark Griffin

Sadist

"Sadists in a kink context derive sexual pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliation on their submissive partner/s, aka “masochists.” A Sadist employs a variety of kinky tools and types of play from impact play, sensory deprivation, consensual humiliation and the like to create heightened sensory experiences for their submissive that involve pain."

[lixenn]

General update

Since I realised it's been ages since I did some kind of progress report on my projects I'd thought I should make a post about the current state of affairs to keep you guys updated properly.

I know this is probably super old news rn but I'm currently in a very low creative mood (I don't really wanna call it an art/writers block? I just tend to have phases in my life where I pretty much don't write or draw anything and I'm in one such phase rn), so I haven't touched my WIPs in ages. I do miss writing a lot but I'm not at the point where I want to force myself to write, so I'm just playing a waiting game at the moment.

So for writing projects:

I'm still stuck on chapter 6 of Causality which ngl is frustrating even after I managed to get over the initial block I had in the writing by switching POVs. I know need to figure out how to handle the different POV which I might take a while? But also might not, I'm too much of a mood writer OTL I would say the chapter is about 70 % done so I just need to finish the draft and edit but again actually finishing it is the struggle, so I'm asking for patience on this 😔

Now the Guide... I was debating doing something special for the one year anniversary on Thursday (which is wild it's been a year TT one year ago I just started working on my thesis and I was delirously happy because I finally found fandom friends) but since I have a job interview on that day which means I will be stressed out of my mind the entire time this is not gonna happen OTL I still have one very vague idea for a Guide chapter in the back of my mind but except for one rule I don't really have that much to base it on so this will require more time and probably a brainstorm session in discord dms. I might - and this is a very big might - share a future scene of Causality that's not super spoiler heavy as a compromise but this kinda depends on if I'm willing to get over my relucatance of sharing sequel stuff. It would fit for White Day cause it's romance... I will think about it lol

Now the work on the wiki is pretty much on hold because after I got the handle on the initial set up I kinda just need to get over myself and write all the entries which... is a lot of work that I'm too low on spoons for at the moment. I'm honestly considering updating Chief's character profile with the new/corrected info that I have in his wiki page because at this point it's going to take me ages until I get the wiki live and the outdated info is nagging at me. It probably wouldn't be too much effort to do but yeah... Maybe you guys could tell me if you are interested in that? Or if you are fine waiting cause at this point I don't mind either way.

Art stuff:

So I currently have two(?) art challenge asks in my inbox still and they will be my priority unless I get a comm but I'm also asking for patience on those 😔 I promise I haven't forgotten, art is just hard too atm so everything takes longer OTL

Otherwise I don't have any active art WIPs but I have two new OC designs sketched that I want to transfer into digital art, so that I can comfortably throw them into the wild. Also I do want to make ref sheets for my main OCs but that shits hard when your art style is all over the place and you don't know how to draw most stuff without finding specific refs. A problem for future Lix I suppose ^^'

General life stuff (aka what am I doing with my time):

I'm pretty much reading fanfic 24/7 and have been doing for weeks. This is a very common state of affairs when I'm trying to cope with stress and don't have energy for creating things, so it's nothing new. I'm pretty sure I can credit my low creative energy on being kinda depressed/anxious/stressed/lonely about my life situation which can mostly be summed up with: hanging in limbo. I'm someone who benefits from structure in my life and since I don't have either work or lectures I'm at loose ends and it's slowly but surely dragging me down. I don't mind the free time but I also feel anxious and uncertain about my future which always sucks. I can't long term plan for shit rn because I have no clue where I will be in a month and that's so fucking annoying TT Also I feel the constant pressure of needing to find a job sooner rather than later and it's a drag, my guys. Theoretically I know that my worth is not depended on what I can bring to society but my heart can't really fully except it especially since I do need the income eventually, I don't wanna bum off my parents for another few months.

So yeah...

I might go rebloge some more ask games just to get some kind of writing done even if it's just answering questions, it's better than nothing and I miss interacting with you folks. Also, I don't want all of my actual posts be me complaining about my current state of affairs because that's just depressing lmao

Anyways! Gold stars to anyone who actually read this massive post that totally got out of hand ⭐ Keep being awesome my dudes!

[sillycyan]

HIII CYAN HI HI, since ur NAWT OKAY !!!

Give me 8, 17 and 18!!! 😪😪😪😕😕😕 FOR YOUR ASK GAME THO YOU ALREADY KNOW THat little LOSER!!! 🤞

HELLOOWHATTSSUPPP HELOOWHATSUPPP ERMMM ERMM WOAHH WHO IS THIS I TOTALLY TOTALLY DONT KNOW YOU OR ANYTHINGE EEERMM GUYSS WHOO IS THAT.. THANK YOU SILLY FOR NUMNER GRGRGR RGRGRGR (GUYS I LOVE MY FRIENDS /P OFC THEY ARE SO COLL RAAHHHHH)

8. The biggest NumberWon data and info leaks were rumored to be an inside job.

NumberWon, the largest company/agency in Hamsin, has experienced several data leaks over the years, but one stands out as the most significant and more publicized. This breach occurred after one of their bigger promotional parties, a tradition that mixed staff and sometimes the public. The day after the event, it was discovered that a massive data breach had compromised and covered almost the entire company. The breach exposed sensitive information, like employee records, account logins, private communications, internal and internal scandals, and so much more. Someone (or a group) anonymously had access to every corner of NumberWon’s operations. The immediate question was.. Who had done this, and why? Rumors obviously quickly spread, with the most popular theory being that it was an inside job. HAMFO, very big news station, had reported on the leak, talking about the little information that the anonymous group or person had already made public. However, even they struggled to identify the culprit, with the strongest evidence pointing to someone who had been inside the building during the party. In response, NumberWon launched an investigation, even placing a bounty on the anonymous person. They were forced to reboot their entire system, eliminating all compromised data, redesigning their websites and accounts, and requiring all employees to sign all new NDAs and contracts. Despite their efforts to figure things out, the strongest lead remained that the breach had been an inside job. The mass hiring they had conducted shortly before the breach was less thorough than usual, and as a precaution, all new hires from that period were terminated immediately after the incident. This only fueled the speculation that the leak was carried out by someone within their own staff. At the end of it all, NumberWon still had no clue who was behind the breach. They had successfully rebooted everything anyway, so the mystery seemed die down, but some curiosity still wandered.. But this wouldn’t be a fun fact if I didn’t tell you who it was, right? The breach happened almost by accident. What began as a mix of hacking and digging for information turned into someone unintentionally grabbing everything from under NumberWon’s feet. The culprit? Someone at HAMFO. Already known for their strong information gathering team, they had always been good at getting almost data, but they never intended to go that far. Of course, no one at NumberWon or the public knows the truth, and HAMFO is working hard to avoid making the same mistake again..

17. Reign, Khoson, and Yasmin as teens thought it would be a good idea to learn Chinese to secretly talk to each other. A current time, they are still weirdly fluent and use it here and there to communicate.

When they were younger, they decided to learn Chinese as a secret way to communicate with each other (100% during some weird rebellion phase). They chose Chinese because their school had a large number of Chinese exchange students at the time, making it easier to make friends who spoke the language along with getting help with learning it. Even years later, they still use it occasionally, whether for private conversations in public spaces or just an inside joke..

18 - Thalia and Dara were supposed to be the two therapy women. Although the two actual woman are also probably very gay for each other, it’s now 4 different people

The therapy women (still unnamed), explained in another fact (19), were almost connected and changed into Thalia and Dara because they did not have a story or names at the time. However, they have now become two separate lesbian couples. Love them all dearly.