#✨️issues✨️

[dreamer-of-all-time]

why can't I have a normal special interest? Girl, what the hell do you mean it's 2015 darkiplier?😭

[phantasmatoucan]

It's not important.

[snakesinsocks2005]

Ok but like what if post canon acme, having finally succeeded at something in two decades, starting gradually making more sensible improvements to their whole thing?

Like, for example, designated tie clips as a mandatory part of their uniform, to indicate an agents level of training. Each level and clip colour gets an agent different levels of acme clearance to types of missions, leniency with given acme property, etc.

Silver would be the very first. You get this one when you first get your suit. Very little clearance to pretty much everything. Must have an older agent accompany them on missions.

Copper (can also be called bronze) is commonly seen as the awkward agent puberty stage- in the process of finishing their training. Mostly put in surveillance and data analysis. Standard level for those staying in logistical positions.

Gold in the acme field agent standard, all necessary clearance for the average agent. Most are happy at this level, and do not continue training.

Black is the most extreme level of formal training acme provides, in which the agent has to, of their own accord, opt in to attempt finishing. These select few especially determined (most likely prideful and stubborn) agents are the most chosen for the missions in which they ordinarily risk their life. Requires special Chief issued recommendation.

Special thanks to @disfordevineaux for helping me with this idea!!

[lolhex12]

broke: Jeremy is captain sunshine golden retriever boy who hides his feelings and his fucked up family situation

woke: actually🤓☝️ Jeremy first met Andrew in juvie when they were 15 & 13 respectively

[talleslittlelion]

'Cause there's nothing like it

Not like the way you mooovee

I can try but I can't hide it from youuu

'Cause I can't wait for youu

I can't wait for youuu 🎶

[mossy-chaos]

Whelp, now we have confirmed family issues

[sprucestairs]

Hypnos wins a bet (and a fight) by being left-handed.

Hi I had this idea after noticing that Hypnos holds his quill in his left hand and I thought, huh. Greek warriors like say, Achilles, probably never fought against left-handed people because it was considered like a curse or whatever to be left-handed. Anyway I then proceeded to do 0 research about this and instead write fanfiction.

Another day of mindlessly signing in the visitors to the house, and sneaking in a couple naps so he could do his actual job.

Sure it was boring, and repetitive, but Hypnos found enjoyment in such things. It was almost calming, in a way. When he wasn't getting yelled at for slacking off, that was. Speaking of which...

"Hypnos."

Ah, shit. Than had that look on his face again. The one that meant he was confident he was going to prove someone wrong. Then he stopped dead in front of him.

"I believe that you could beat Achilles in a fight."

...What?

There was no way. Achilles? ACHILLES? Who was hired specifically to be the head of security for the house and personal trainer for Prince Zagreus? THAT Achilles?

"I also may have already placed a bet that you could." Of course he did. Hypnos kicked him in the leg.

"WHY would you bet that I can beat ANYONE in a fight? Let alone Achilles- he's like- one of the greatest warriors the mortal world has seen!"

"But he was mortal. And shades are notably weaker then their living counterparts." Thanatos countered, decidedly ignored his attempt at kicking him.

"But *I* am a poor fighter. Remember what happened with Sarpedon?" Thanatos just waved him off.

"Please. That was because there were far more people trying to fight us, in the midst of a war. This will be a one-on-one fight in a controlled arena." Hypnos narrowed his eyes at him. Thanatos gave him a shit eating grin.

"I'll help you train for the fight, of course." Of course. There was no way out of this one. His brother had made the contract completely airtight. He sighed.

"Fine. Where?"

"There's plenty of training areas in Elysium. I'll find one somewhere near where you reside." Whatever. He nodded half heartedly and turned back to his endless list as his twin exited with a flash of green light. He was actually excited to sign in the countless deceased mortals who ventured across the river Styx now. Better then getting his ass kicked.

~~~

He went home immediately after his shift ended. Knowing Than, he'd barely have time to get a power nap in before he came clanging in with the sound of funeral bells.

True to character, Hypnos was in fact awoken by a clamour of tolling bells, tearing him away from the realm of Sleep where he had been weaving dreams.

Thanatos either didn't notice his glare, or just didn't care.

"Where do you keep your weapon? I can't see it anywhere." He asked instead. Hypnos rolled his eyes. Why waste his time and energy in crafting a place to put his sword when he can just keep it immaterial until the rare occasion he required it. Stopped it from getting lost, as well. His brother appeared unimpressed by the simple instrument.

"You've seriously never made a more... personalised weapon?"

"No need." He grumbled. "This is plenty personalised. I can wield it well enough."

"C'mon then." Than motioned him towards the exit.

The training area Than had found was pretty close by, to be fair. It also happened to hold an unattended spear.

"From one of those hero shades." His brother explained. "It was dropped when Zagreus and I were fighting some of them. I'll have to return it at some point." Hypnos couldn't help laughing at that.

"YOU stole a hero's weapon? Why?"

"It's not stolen!" Thanatos countered. "I'm just holding on to it until I can find the rightful owner. Besides, Achilles fights with a spear. You've got to know how to beat a spear-wielder."

Okay. Well. The spear was here regardless, and it WOULD be better to train against the weapon that Achilles would be using. The twins started out with simple moves, ones their mother had taught them when they were very young. Hypnos, surprising himself, managed to get into the flow of training quicker than Thanatos.

"Damn thing's like an an amalgam of my regular weapons." Thanatos grumbled. "Can't remember how my next move's supposed to go." They continued on for what felt like forever. Eventually, though, the ever present exhaustion plaguing Hypnos grew too large to ignore and he had to return to his realm. The last thing he saw was his brother, resting at his side while planning further training.

This became something of a routine between the two. For a good few days or nights, or whatever passed for such underneath the earth, they would each attend their separate duties in the house and later meet in the same arena to hone their skills. Hypnos almost managed to forget that this whole thing, all this quality time with his brother, was to help him win a bet.

Almost.

Though of course, eventually the day came when he would have to face Achilles in combat. And of course, most of the House had become aware of it some way or another. And Hermes. Because the messenger God knew just about everything except the future. (That was a job given to one of his own many brothers.)

"Alright there, Hypnos?" Zagreus slung one arm around his shoulders as he spoke, bringing him close to say, in an exaggerated whisper, "remember, his heel is his weak spot." Hypnos's only answer was to roll his eyes. If no one had known about that weak spot, Achilles would've come to the underworld far later.

He found himself... nervous. He often was, the few times anyone had bothered to task him with something important, but this was different. In a way, this fight placed his own honour and status as a God on the line. Even though it was a carefully controlled arena, and mostly recreational, if he lost this fight, he would become known as the god weak enough to be bested by a mortal shade.

Zagreus seemed to realise he wasn't in the mood for jokes, switching to a rambling tale of his latest (and probably vastly exaggerated) attempt at reaching the surface. He was only partly listening, though. He was busy trying to fine tune his plan to best Achilles. He knew he had far less stamina than the other gods, but how did that compare to mortals? One trained as a warrior, at that. Was it possible that Achilles could be faster than him? He just didn't know, and wouldn't until the fighting began in earnest.

Thanatos had tried to reassure him that it was impossible for a mortal to come even halfway to the abilities of gods, but he was a pretty pathetic god. And he wasn't blind, he knew the way his brother fought. He could tell that he'd been holding back when they fought together.

~~~

He stood in the arena proper now, Achilles at the other end. He seemed slightly puzzled by something, though Hypnos couldn't think what it was. Probably the fact that he'd actually shown up to the fight at all. The Champions of Elysium were sitting in the place of honour amongst the crowd of onlookers, the hastily appointed judges of the fight. Glancing around the rest of the crowd, he couldn't spot the King or Queen, nor his own mother. Though he did spot more of his siblings than just Charon and Thanatos, and he tried not to think about the things they would say when he got his teeth knocked out. Also Hermes. Seriously, with the amount of jobs that guy had, how did he find the time to come down to the underworld so often?

The signal was given to start, and Achilles began to stalk towards him, weary of any sudden tricks that the god might pull. But sudden tricks really weren't his thing. He stood his ground, fully aware that his opponent had a longer weapon that he could start using any time.

Rather, he used the shade's approach to study him. He still unconsciously held the habit of favouring one leg, the one that had been fully invulnerable in life. He lacked a shield, gripping a longspear with both hands. And as conditioned in the rules of this fight, he wore no armour upon his clothes. There was not much else Hypnos could learn by standing around like an idiot, so he began to focus on actually fighting the man still moving towards him. He had the shorter weapon, he would have to find a way to get in close.

Something in the shade's eyes seemed to shift, with a barely perceptible change in the atmosphere. The battle had begun. No more standing and thinking, just fighting.

Well, either way it would be over quickly.

Achilles threw caution to the wind in charging, hoping to catch the usually lethargic god off guard. Unfortunately, Hypnos did just about the opposite of what he expected and moved closer, giving himself the advantage with his shorter weapon. Achilles seemed strangely unbalanced in how he countered. Was Hypnos using techniques that he had never seen? No, he was no war-fighting god, that couldn't be it. Maybe it was the way he moved? He knew that gods often moved differently to how the mortals expected, maybe this was such a time.

He was tiring quickly, in spite of the endurance training that his brother had him undertake. The god of sleep simply couldn't stay awake for too long. He just needed to focus, to quickly find a weak spot in the defences of his opponent.

...There.

Achilles' habit of hiding his vulnerable heel made him unbalanced. All Hypnos had to do was strike low, and the great warrior tripped over his own feet. The rules of the fight dictated that the first one to fall to the ground for any reason would be the loser. And so Hypnos, stunned, was announced the winner of the fight.

He quickly found himself in the middle of a crowd of siblings he hadn't seen in decades, Ker even said he'd done well! And she fought with Ares' war band, so she had pretty high standards of what a good fighter looked like.

Achilles just shook his head, apparently in good spirits despite his loss. He congratulated Hypnos on beating him before going to talk to a few other shades. Zagreus thought the whole thing was hilarious, teasing his old mentor about the loss.

Even Hermes had stuck around to chatter at him for a while, and Hypnos found that he actually quite appreciated the energy the Olympian god brought.

After most had left, and Hypnos was once again alone with his closest companions, he recalled the strange way Achilles had seemed unbalanced, asking his brothers about it.

"I knew something like that would happen." Thanatos answered him, cryptically. "It's why I even made that bet."

Belatedly, Hypnos realised that he didn't even know who he had made the bet against. He was about to ask Charon what he thought, but he spoke first.

"Your fighting hand. It's different from most."

Hypnos squinted at his hands suspiciously.

"Seem like pretty normal hands to me"

Charon let loose one of his terrifying laughs.

"Yes, they certainly are. But you choose to hold your sword in your left hand. The warriors of Greece only train with their right."

Hypnos blinked. The warriors of Greece only ever trained to fight with one hand?

"What happens if a warrior was used to using their left hand?"

"Then, they would be turned away or taught to fight with the other hand I assume." Charon answered.

Thanatos had been trying to move slowly away from the conversation, but Hypnos dragged him back.

"You knew the only reason I could win that fight was because Achilles never trained against an opponent who was left-handed." He said, getting right in Than's face. He poked an accusing finger at his brother too, just to really make sure he got the point.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Hypnos." He tried to hide his face so Hypnos couldn't see the way he smiled.

"I made that bet because I knew that your godly strength would be what won you the fight." Hypnos didn't believe a word of it. He tried to yell at his twin, but Thanatos started laughing.

"What's so funny? Cut it out!" He complained, but for some reason he was laughing too.

Charon watched them amusedly, reminded of the times when the twins were young, and would argue about things that didn't matter. Even then, they would forget their arguments for the laughter that came from the ridiculous words they were saying. Truly, the bond that existed between twins, forged by the Fates was unbreakable. Even though they had spent years without speaking to each other, now they could laugh and joke as though none of it had ever happened.

~~~

"YOU WERE HOLDING BACK, THAN!"

"YES, FROM DOING MOVES THAT WOULD WORK WITH A SCYTHE BUT NOT A SPEAR!"

"STOP FIGHTING WITH WEAPONS YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO USE!"

"THEN YOU WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT A SPEAR WIELDER!"

...blood and darkness, they could get loud. Hypnos was now repeatedly smacking Thanatos, who was lain on the floor, with a pillow he'd found from the many scattered around. Charon found that he couldn't quite recall when they had even begun this, lost as he was in his thoughts. Growling, he moved between the pair, both of whom were still laughing, and confiscated the pillow by throwing it into a far off corner.

"Awwww, that one was my favourite." Hypnos complained. He wouldn't put it past his brother to actually have a favourite pillow, but that wasn't the main issue right now.

He playfully swatted at the pair while telling them to get back to their usual duties. Both rolled their eyes in unison. It was kind of unsettling, actually, but Charon would never admit to such outloud.

Eventually, with much playful arguing between the three brothers, Charon did manage to convince Thanatos to leave with him so Hypnos could rest. They could settle whatever argument they'd been having another day, and both he and Charon probably had a lot of work to catch up on.

[strangerwheelerthings]

The Secret Truth of Stranger Things: the crux of it all is that the Wheelers are cursed. The Byers just got dragged into it the worst because the Wheelers had crushes and they are potentially Future Wheelers.

[yache-berries]

Should I bring him with me to London...?

extra silly cat behavior below the cut...

Yaranaby, where are you going with my Danish "Bring It On Home To Me" Animals single from 1965- YARNABY!!!!!!

[randomness-in-motion]

I finally made a Rook that I don't hate this outfit on🥴 and now they're going to become an ✨️issue✨️ for me🫠(and Illario🤭)

[bismuthburnsblue]

belated pictures from yesterdays fitting & oh my!!!!! isnt she looking good !!!

the petticoat is here, finally, and its feeling real blue right now, but im hoping when i get some ruffles & trim on there itll break up how full on it is- along with the darker teal stomacher.

the sleeves are half in here- i just had them on to test the rotation & i think??? im happy with it??? when the top is pulled up it sits pretty smooth. i need to cut in the armsyce a bit more- theres too much material around the front and i think lowering the underarm will help with the side wrinkling.

im still messing with the hem length-i might want to drop the front edge of the robe down a fraction, and the train is all up in the air, but i think im getting somewhere :)

i think thats all my notes! man i gotta settle on a trim pattern soon 🙃

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

every once in a while i forget that i only have one single solitary house fic posted to ao3. i've been in the fandom since november 2023 and i have seven(?) wips (some of which i've been working on since that very month 😭) and two of those are oneshots that i fucking finished last year but have just never gotten around to posting. i should. probably do that

[cocogum]

Y'all I'm currently scanning the season 4 artbook and I just completely forgot how many capes this freaking book has 😭😭😭

[saltywombatllama]

Here's part 2 of this post :

(TW: a jelaus Sidney(in like 2 quotes, but whatever) !!)

-------------

Maud: I asked Hayes how he’s doing.

Maud: He said, “Like a biscuit left in the rain. Soggy, forgotten, and strangely bitter.”

Maud: And then he saluted me.

Devi: That’s just British for “I’m fine.”

-----------

Pritchard: (walks into the bunker holding a lit Molotov cocktail)

Hayes: What are you doing.

Pritchard: A vibe check.

---------

Maud: My gender is "tired schoolgirl with a rifle and a grudge."

Devi: That’s not a gender.

Maud: (loads the rifle )It is now.

---------

Devi: Capitalism is the true enemy.

Hayes: Pretty sure our current enemy has actual guns.

Devi: So does capitalism.

---------

Maud: Romance is dead.

Pritchard: I just saw Ellwood hand Gaunt a flower he dug out of a latrine.

Maud: Romance should be dead.

--------

[Bomb explodes in distance.]

Pritchard: [yelling] I AM SOFT! I AM A TENDER WAR FLOWER!

Maud: [flatly] You literally bit a pigeon last week.

--------

Ellwood: If I die, tell Gaunt I loved him.

Hayes: You can do that yourself, you're just mildly concussed.

Ellwood: No, it’s more romantic this way.

----------

Devi: Are you okay?

Maud: Yes.

[Continues to sip her tea as bombs fall behind her]

----------

Ellwood: Then call me Lord Goddamn Tennyson because I just used metaphor six times in one sentence and cried while sealing the envelope.

----------

Sandys: [sarcasticly] Captain Gaunt, I believe the Lord sent me to you for a reason.

Gaunt: (flatly) I’m sure He did.

Ellwood, whispering to Maud: Is murder a sin if he’s asking for it?

Maud: I’ll hold your coat.

-------

Ellwood: Why does Sandys get to stand next to Gaunt?

Maud: Because he’s not reciting Byron at him with heart eyes.

Ellwood: That’s slander.

Maud: You literally cried the last time Gaunt quoted Wilfred Owen.

Ellwood: The imagery was very moving.

---------

Pritchard: Hayes, hypothetically, how illegal is it to make a flamethrower out of a kettle?

Hayes: We are in France.

Pritchard: That’s not an answer.

Hayes: That’s because I don’t want to be tried as an accomplice.

----------

Ellwood: Gaunt’s eyes are like gunpowder and thunder.

Maud: You need a hobby. Something to do in your free time.

Ellwood: Gaunt is my hobby. I do him.

Maud: I said what I said.

----------

Devi: What if love is a bourgeois invention to trick us into reproducing?

Ellwood:[ wildly offended ]Speak for yourself, I’m in love with someone who can shoot a rifle and quote Tennyson.

----------

Ellwood: I can fix him.

Maud: He doesn’t want to be fixed.

Ellwood: I can out-trauma him, then.

-------

Pritchard: You ever just…

Hayes: No.

Pritchard: You didn’t let me finish.

Hayes: That’s because last time you “just” lit a match near the munitions.

Pritchard: Artistic expression!!

Hayes: Arson!!

---------

“Dearest S.,

The stars remind me of your eyes, though both are impossible to touch. The war drags on. I wish you would stop looking at me like you know how I smell when I’m not wearing cologne. I hope you are well. Please stop smiling. It is very distracting.

Yours. Not yours. Yours again,

G.”

[Letter never sent. Torn in half. Folded twice. Hidden in boot.]

---------

Sandys: The Lord will guide our steps.

Maud: He didn’t guide you around that mud puddle, did he.

Sandys: That was a test.

Maud: You failed.

Sandys: I slipped with dignity.

---------

Ellwood: If I got shot, would you cry?

Gaunt: Why would you say that??

Ellwood: Hypothetically.

Gaunt: Hypothetically, I’d burn down the front lines.

Ellwood: 🥺

--------

Devi: What’s your trauma type?

Hayes: I’m a “saw too much” type.

Gaunt: I’m the “held it all in until it shattered me” variety.

Pritchard: I’m the “blew it up and blamed the moon” model.

Ellwood: I'm the “fell in love during the war and now every bullet is a metaphor” flavor.

Maud: I’m British.

---------

Devi: We're all comrades in arms.

Pritchard: I feel more like a chaperone for a series of failed Victorian romantic tragedies.

Devi: Fair.

---------

Ellwood: I think your repressed trauma is sexy.

Gaunt: That sentence should be illegal.

Ellwood: But true.

---------

Hayes: What are the odds of us all surviving this war?

Maud: Statistically?

Pritchard: Emotionally?

Gaunt: Poetically?

----------

Part 3?

[cottoncandywoof]

ok so, i just want to comment a little on 2003 splinter. @purplepixel and i are on season 1 still, and im REALLY liking it thus far, but theres something i want to complain about.

why on Gods green beautiful earth is splinter annoyed at his kids for "breaking stuff" at aprils and being like "this is what i live like every day". like i get it. hes an actual rat. he doesnt know any better and thats a point i made in later episodes, but... bruh.

why am i mad? well, because the kids quite literally feel bad and offer to fix it. THEY dont know better either. they think this is the best way of doing it and are overconfident in their skills, but feel bad and offer to glue the plates together. yes, it doesnt do much, but... i dont know, im not saying it should be changed or anything, but something about a parent being annoyed at something THEIR KIDS WOULDNT KNOW NOT TO DO really just rubs me the wrong way. TEACH THEM BETTER THEN SPLINTER!!! like, mikey i get, but the rest? come tf on

yeah thats all lmfao

[hypocriticalspicewrites]

Feel like Billy Hargrove and Eddie Munson would suck there partners titties to calm down