#Batkids

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Penguin: Do you hear something?

The glass ceiling above them gives way and Jason Todd falls to the ground. Okay, but incredibly sore and pissed off.

Jason: Why do so many Gotham buildings have glass ceilings?! Why haven't they taken care of this? Bat family members take up half the residents!

Nightwing: I'm going to drop down now.

Jason: Not on me-

Nightwing drops down, landing on Jason.

Jason: I said not me!

Nightwing: You've been through worse.

[incorrectbatfam]

[pinkiemachine]

I’ve scoured the internet for tidbits of info, such as: Dick’s favourite ice cream flavour is mint chocolate chip, Stephanie likes waffles, and Jason is a messy eater. But now I’d like to hear from you! What are some random batkid facts that you know? Or, what random/embarrassing/interesting facts do YOU think should be canon? Like, should Tim be allergic to avocados? Does Duke have any secret hobbies? Should Stephanie randomly know how to juggle six beanie babies at once? Comment your thoughts!

[vodrae]

Barbara Gordon and Young Charles Xavier fighting with dual lightsabers on their wheelchair, Batman and Wolverine arguing like soccer moms. The batfam sharing a drink with the X Men. And SOMEHOW, Nightwing found a way to know someone here. It's ANOTHER UNIVERSE DICK.

[lotus-lost-n-found]

Some Batfam Headcanons because the brain never stops;

Jason hates being called "Bruce's Son". But he hates it more when hes called "One of Wayne's Orphans/Wayne's child" because fuck you I'm his son-! wait no--

With the exception of Damian, they rarely refer to Bruce as "Dad/Father". Either it didn't occur to them/didn't see the need to/thought it would be strange. But when Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass are tired or injured it might slip out. And Bruce might just crumble a bit at it

Doesn't mean they don't say it to their siblings when Bruce is out of Earshot.

"Dad said you couldn't." "What do you mean Dad said I couldn't use that mug? It's my mug!" "You snooze you lose Timmy Boy-" "Jason don't be an asshole-"

That being said Bruce says "son/daughter/child" at every available opportunity he can after he knows that they have acclimated enough that they wouldn't be uncomfortable/know they can tell Bruce that they don't want to be called that.

First time Bruce called Dick "son" in a way that meant "You are my kid" and not in a "This police officer just called me son with a brow furrow" way Dick grinned and carried on with the conversation. Later he wondered if his dad wouldn't like someone else calling him Son; but Dick thinks about the life he was given because of Bruce and thinks maybe his dad wouldn't mind.

Calling Jason "son" is a hit or miss situation, even before he died. The first time it happened he was confused, he didnt think that was the relationship they had and it made everything change for him. He got frustrated--not angry--with himself and Bruce at this sudden emotional turmoil. Wasn't he just the kid Bruce picked up in an alleyway? Wasn't he just some street rat in bright Robin clothing? (He lets himself believe that he can be Bruce's son. If for only a little while).

Tim cries after Bruce is out of earshot, it would've been a year or so after his parents died and he was adopted. He didn't think he could have been wanted like that again. Even if you think the Drake's had A+ Parenting or not, I don't think he would have gotten a lot of confirmation of being wanted otherwise.

Cass smiles, emotions carefully concealed under her expression. She's grateful she found Bruce and he doesn't mention it if she leans a bit closer in a request for closeness.

Damian doesn't expect anything less, he only appears satisfied. But also relieved that he has gotten the confirmation that yes, Bruce wants and accepts him.

[shadowsh00er]

Hc the batkids are mess with Jason about his “age”.

Tim: Hey lil bro

Jason visibly taken aback: What the fuck?!

Dick: What’s the matter, Jaybird?

Jason: Did you not hear what Tim called me?

Dick: Yeah… and the problem is?

Jason: I’m older than him.

Tim: No your not.

Jason: The Fuck!?

Dick: Your then youngest, Jace.

Jason: The hell I am. I’m 22 and-

Tim cuts off Jason: No your 7.

Jason about to lose his mind: …Tim…. I think you had enough coffee.

Dick: No he’s right, Jay.

Jason: Did I get sucked into an alternate universe?!

Tim: No… We’re just going off of your resurrection.

Jason: What?

Dick: you were resurrected 7 years meaning your 7.

Jason: Oh fuck you guys.

Dick and Tim burst out laughing.

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Jason: Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick

Tim: Why would they use a glue stick? A glue stick won’t moistur– …oh. I get it now.

Jason: Good. You’re one of those people by the way.

Tim: Yeah, I deserve that.

[razzledazzle0]

crushes

Jason: crushes are stupid

Roy: yeah whenever I'm near my crush i act all stupid

Jason: you always act stupid

Roy: heh! yeah don't think about that too hard

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

Mid-conversation, Dick often slips into a transatlantic accent (which occasionally morphs into a Scottish one for some reason). Whenever he does this with one of the other Batkids or the other Titans, they usually can't help but respond in the same accent, even if the conversation started off serious. When Dick does it with Bruce, though, he’s usually met with silence. But once, just once, Bruce responded with a straight face in a flawless Welsh accent, and Dick's jaw hit the floor.

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Wayne boys in a saw trap

Jigsaw copycat: You have 30 minutes or the guns in front of you will shoot many bullets-

Damian (Robin): Woo Red Robin, give me that hand!

Tim (Red Robin): What?

Jigsaw: Um, not done-

Damian: We are not cutting off my hand, I used this for art.

Tim: I use mine for work!

Damian: Father pays you to do nothing.

Tim: 'Father' pays you to not be a brat!

Damian: Your petty insults won't stop me from chopping off your hand.

Damian grabs the butcher knife. Tim places his hand on top of Damian's head then takes the butcher knife.

Jigsaw: Hey! I already had to let two grown men go for bickerin' and fightin', I'm not about to deal with actual children!

Damian: Is that a Southern voice?

Tim (stepping away from Damian): They're not from here. I am 22, by the way.

Damian: And I am a force to be reckoned with!

Tim: And 12. Can we go?

Jigsaw: If you'd let me finish I said you can cut off a hand or find the key in the glass boxes hangin' in front of you, but you have to break the boxes with your hands-

Glass smashing sound is heard. Tim holds the key with a bloody hand.

Tim: Yeah... Maybe don't use transparent glass boxes. I saw the key in front of me.

Damian: Does that hurt?

Tim (picking glass out of his bleeding non-writing hand): Not really. I've felt worse pain. Here you open the door.

Damian takes the key, unlocks the door and the brothers leave.

Jigsaw: Gotham wuz the worse place to do this in.

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: *gets down on one knee*

Barbara: It’s finally happening!

Dick: *ties his shoes*

Barbara, tearing up: He finally stopped wearing fucking Velcro sneakers.

[vespertilionis]

Damian: “Happy anniversary of your return to consciousness. To celebrate, I have recreated the circumstances of it, while following the safety instructions around the manor.”

Jason: “Did you dye the pool green again?”

Damian: “Yes.”

[quotidian-oblivion]

Snippet from one of my wips #something-something

Damian woke up and went through his morning routine. 

He righted his bed, which was barely crinkled because, unlike others, he did not thrash around while sleeping. Then he went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and took a shower. Then he went to his desk and opened up the diary which he was forced encouraged to keep and wrote his morning entry. 

Dear diary, today I woke up and chose violence.

The entry had not changed from all the previous entries. 

Closing his diary, he holstered the knives in his usual hiding places that he kept with him at all times and exited the room. 

As soon as he left the room, he nearly stepped on Drake’s face. 

Startled, he blinked down at the face in front of his bedroom door. Then he stepped on it anyway. 

[shyjusticewarrior]

Makes this funnier

[transmasculinizing]

thinking about trans bats again. so u know how sometimes out of nowhere ur dad just gives u the craziest lore drop about their life and ur stuck going "?????" well i hc thats how bruce came out to his kids. one of his kids comes out to him and he just casually goes "oh im actually trans to. i realized at a very young age and my parents respected my privacy so the public didnt know much about me and it made it very easy for my parents to gaslight everyone who ever knew me into believing i was always a boy and so now only a few people know im trans" and his kids are just stuck like