#Tw vent post

[cholerascum]

some days i feel ok, sure, but fucking hell when will i BE ok? when will i be past this?

[pricklymuffinzzzzz]

Jokes I don’t think are funny,

Jokes about when mixed ppl don’t look mixed

Jokes about how “borderline” or manic someone is acting

Jokes about “the voices”

When someone jokes about how they haven’t eaten all day, like okay??

When someone jokes about another persons mental illness when they haven’t gotten permission.

When someone jokes about wanting to go to a mental hospital, saying “I need the vacation” “silly people vacation” etc, treating it like it’s not severely traumatic. Stop joking about that shit.

Oh and stop fucking joking about having ptsd, it’s not fucking funny, shut the fuck up

I can’t stop anyone from making these jokes but can y’all shut the fuck up sometimes? Like unless you’ve experienced it, when you have the trauma it’s funny. But when you just say that shit for fun it’s so fucking annoying.

[puppy-b0y-prince]

Being hypersexual means I'm paranoid some person is probably jacking off to another version of me. My abused younger body lives on forever in those pictures he took.

I'm constantly harassed by vivid intrusive thoughts of my male friends, hurting me. Being used, and abused once they realize how easy it is to take advantage of me. Nothing sweet or romantic, just an object, so small and helpless but a pretty object, at least.

I have learned to put my body on display, like a doll, like a wind-up toy. And now I'm attempting to regain control and restore my autonomy through self-sabotage and self-harm.

The reality is that I want to be hurt, or even killed. I want to feel something, but also to feel numb. Wanting to feel in control, but also to be dominated. And I think I want to have a “connection” to another human, while at the same time to deny that I was even human.

 I want to be hurt, I want to be killed, I just want someone else to do it. I have been taking risks and putting myself in dangerous situations for years, and have been hurting myself in the more commonly known ways for even longer. Nothing ever seems to work for long, and I feel so alone. I feel so disqusting. No matter how many baths I take im tainted.

I want to die, but I don't want to die alone.

[yesimwriting]

i have just received the meanest and harshest writing feedback i've ever gotten in my life by a professor, who felt the need to post an announcement letting my entire workshop group that they were too nice when reviewing my short story.

one of the girls in my group submitted a response saying that my story was "emotionally moving" and my professor asked her to specify what part of the story made her emotional bc my professor wasn't moved by "my vagueness". another girl said she thought my story was "well-written" and my professor literally asked her "well-written how?"

this professor hasn't commented on the feedback anyone else has received all semester and everything she said was so harsh and mean i’m genuinely doubting everything rn.

[zennotixs]

Please don’t be mad at me. Reply to me. I’m begging you I can’t handle your silence.

[bubblycherry07]

Tw Vent post!

I don't want to be this way anymore. I feel so shamed of everything I did, I knew what I was doing was bad. I don't believe I even deserve to live anymore. I am disapointed when I wake up and I'm still alive. I hate it. I hate being this way. I don't understand how anyone could love me. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without wanting to cut off every inch of my skin. I have burn marks all over my arms and stomach now from burning myself with a straighting iron. I can't stop throwing up my food. hate that my mom has to see me like this. It's not her falt I am a screw up. I just want to die already.

[yonderghostshistories]

What it’s like having intrusive thoughts (in my experience)

*MIT = a short abbreviation of “My Intrusive Thoughts”

Me : *minding me own business*

…..

My Intrusive Thoughts suddenly out of nowhere (in a weirdly flirtatious manner) : “HEEEEEEYYYYY…..you uhh…*tut*……you wanna be an aaaaassssssssshhhoooollleeeeee to your friends. Mmm? 😏😉😏😏😉😉”

Me : “………….no?”

My Intrusive Thoughts : “ooooohhhh come OOOOOoooonnnnn babes……isn’t it kinda FUUUUUuuuuuunnnnn to be a rude asshoooooolllllllleeee to your best mates, particularly your hehe…..ONLINE best mates? 😏😏😏”

Me : “again…uhh….NO. Full Stop. PE.REE.OD. Now begone”

MIT* : “oh pretty pleeeeease? What about your online partner, ehh? It seems that THEY’VE been hanging out with some friends on that other fandom that they’re involved in rather your main fandom that you’re BOTH in…..seems a bit uhh *tut*……….suspicious, don’t you think?”

Me : “Jesus Chri-…..c-come on, Intrusive Thoughts, my partner is allowed to have their own interests too! I don’t want to control what they can and can’t do, that’s like, idk, like that’s just being manipulative and stuff, ya’know? I mean, we’re all individuals, aren’t we?”

MIT : “Now look, it’s not manipulative in the SLIGHTEST!”

Me : “uhh, yes it is”

MIT : “No it isn’t”

Me : “yes it is”

MIT : “No it isn’t”

Me : “Tis”

MIT : “Tisn’t”

Me : “Tis”

MIT : “Tisn’t”

Me : “Ok stop, now you’re just being tedious”

MIT : “Well, i aaam your intrusive thoughts!”

Me : “Well, you’re not entirely me, in a sense at least!”

MIT : “Well, technically I aaam a part of you, like *points to head 👉🙂* in your head at least”

Me : “DOESNT MATTER!”

MIT : “Bloody ‘ell, alright 😒🙌, don’t need to pull a trigger on me, ok? Jeez…”

Me : “Look MIT, you’re just a manifestation of my fears and anxieties, but like, you’re trying to twist them into being an evil justification to be rude and awful to my online peers, and ESPECIALLY my ever so loving and supportive online partner, for no reason at all, ya’know?”

MIT : *sighs* “ok, maybe you ARE right, I guess….maybe we are just being petty for no reason at , ehh?”

Me : “yes”

MIT : “maybe we should, idk, talk to our partner about our petty grievances in a calm and collective way, in a way where they might understand and stuff and give us some guidance and insight on how to navigate our feelings, in a way where we don’t at all feel like we’ve made the worst mistake in our lives by ruining the most amazing and beautiful relationship we’ve ever had by just being an asshole to them for no goddamn reason at all!”

Me : “yes, exactly MIT”

MIT : “sorta like……venting perhaps?”

Me : “…..yeah, MIT”

MIT : “……..but still, just ONE hate message though, pretty plea-”

Me : “NO MIT YOU STUPID CUN-”

The End.

(I’ve decided to make my mental health vent-of-sorts into a comedy sketch of sorts, in a sorta creative way of expressing how my relationship with my intrusive thoughts is basically like in a nutshell.)

[hyper-coasters]

Announcement - Hiatus

Hi, I'm Logan, I am 22 years old trans man living in FL. I have become a full-time caretaker for my 55 year old disabled father after a major vehicle accident. My mother recently had open heart surgery, and I spent a month with her for preparation and recovery. My parents are not together, and actually live about 1.5 hours apart. I also lost my job about a month after the major hurricanes that hit central FL in 2024. I had missed the major Christmas time hiring, and much if central FL was still struggling as well at that point. Then come 2025, I began caring for my father more and more, though we lived apart. Then my mother had her heart attack, and I left to care for her. Then my father was in his accident. He was on a motorcycle on the highway, and collided with a semi truck and another vehicle. Both vehicles going 60-70 mph. This was also while he was on the other side of the state from me, outside of Orlando. His hospital was a 3.5-4 hour drive away from me, when I was unable to have a vehicle - also damaged during the hurricanes.

I have not been able to go to any parks nearly as much as I would have liked. I have some other photography from other events, or other things I happened to pass by and like. But I wasn't sure if anyone would be interested. Quite honestly, this is the most actively popular blog I have ever ran, and it was honestly really overwhelming at times. Between dealing with two stubborn adults who have traumatized me greatly(though we are working on forgiveness), and struggling with the rising cost of groceries, indurance issues, ambulance bill (note to other americans: turns out public insurance doesn't cover ambulance rides. glad i never needed one.), and other pop-up issues that love to rear their heads when youre already stretched thin, making all the appointments for them and myself, travel, I've just honestly been too exhausted to even look at the amount of notifications I have. It makes me worried I have upset people by disappearing. It makes me disappointed in myself because I have a ton of things in my drafts that just need to be tagged but i cant make myself do it because I'm just so tired. Especially now that I have a job. Its such a small thing. But i think i have around 50 photos dating all the way back to christmas town at BGT still sitting in my drafts. It ends up feeling just as tedious as trying to schedule doctors appointments for multiple people, while also remembering you need to make sure none of that allotted time ends up accidentally overlapping with each other, or work, or school, or balancing a relationship with your partner, and that you still need to work with and care for your animals, and chores, and it ends up being so much more time than you expect at first. You never realize how much longer it takes to get ready to do any of these things until you are trying to get yourself and another adult ready. This isnt to complain really, its not either of their faults, but I went from not having either parent really around except for short visits since i was 16. Were starting to get a routine down for outings, but it still takes a long time. Especially because my father still wants to try to be independent. But i cant leave him alone because he will fall and hurt himself (and according to his doctor should in fact not be doing half of what hes doing - but hes literally a foot taller than me and has at least 180 lbs on me, theres only so much i can stop him from doing when i still need to get other things done to take care of him)

I am not making this post to ask for donations or look for pity. This post is to explain my time away and that I have NOT lost my love for roller coasters. I simply have been extremely overwhelmed this year. Maybe I'm using this to vent a little bit. I just wanted to make a post talking about my experiences this year as a caretaker for another adult (especially one that tries to refuse help, only creating the cycle of getting hurt and needing MORE care) and how its effected my posting & me. I love my fiance and my friends who have been so helpful to hearing me vent, but I thought at this point of inactivity all the mutuals I used to talk to regularly and considered friends deserved an explanation too.

[meanya]

I know that this too shall pass but OH MY FUCKING GOD can it pass a little fucking faster??

[idiot-mushroom]

keep hearing ppl on here saying shit (or talking abt what ppl said/say) like ‘csa is such a uncomfy topic!!’ or ‘ i don’t really feel comfortable with that stuff…’ or ‘kids shouldn’t know this adult stuff!’

guys, i’m a minor, a chunk of my ttnm iteration is literally about my experiences with sexual harassment, be it I don’t rlly show it via art, i do talk abt it, dude i made a whole fic abt it!! I even made a sequel to the fic!!

and yeah if it does make u uncomfy, i always tag trigger warnings, so you can block those tags or just ignore the post, but don’t say i have to stop talking abt something that is so common and ignored and misinterpreted in the present day. sure my experiences can’t sum up everyone’s experiences but that’s the thing! they’re my experiences!

thank fuck that ppl don’t say shit like ‘you should take this down’ on my vent posts abt this shit bc i would honestly block them and then have to think abt how fucked up it is that as soon as I actually try to really dive deep in myself and be vulnerable and show the world my experience and emotions and thought and my memories and raw feelings i would get shut down because it made them ‘uncomfy’.

[pricklymuffinzzzzz]

Tw bpd jealousy vent

Bpd jealousy needs to be talked about more. I have a pretty severe case of it. I get jealous any time my fp gets joy from anything especially anyone who isn’t me.

I know this is “toxic” but it really is something I’m trying to work on. I guess when they get joy from other things, it kinda makes me feel replaceable?

Like the joy I bring them can just be switched out with those other things. If I was out of their life it wouldn’t impact them and they would still be able to be happy.

But if they were out of my life I wouldn’t be able to feel any sort of joy. I feel like I’m always going to be jealous unless my fp hates everyone except me. Or talks to only me.

I really wouldn’t like this though. I want my fp to have a healthy social life. It’s just something I have to learn to deal with. At the same time my whole life revolves around my fp.

I don’t talk to anyone but them, and I really don’t like talking to anyone but them. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied until I know they love me the way I love them. I just wish I felt content. I hate being jealous so much.

I really am trying to work on it though. I’ve been working on it for a long time, I just don’t think it’s getting easier though :(

I really just want my fp to be happy

Does anyone have any tips to help jealousy pain?

[ghostlylexie]

I'm gonna lightly vent about something, it's not even that bad of a thing in all actuality but it really just brought my down for no actual reason I'm just overreacting heavily over a comment

Earlier today, I finished a drawing for one of my friends, I struggled a lot of this artwork and it was a commission so I wanted to make it good, but I just feel so tired and empty that I don't think I can really put all my art skills in my art until I get out of this like, monthly depression thing I keep getting

But anyway, after I finished the drawing, my other friend, who was sitting near me, pointed at it, and the silly doodle I made beside it and told me "not gonna lie, the doodle is better" and I immediately went silent as she then said some things about my art and what parts are lacking and which parts need to be worked on

I know she's only trying to help, and I love her, she's one of my closest friends, and she's helped a ton in my art journey and I do love her advice mostly

But today it's just, not what I needed to hear, I was already struggling, the friend I made the drawing for liked it sure, but all I could see was every pencil stroke that brought it down, each eraser line, and each error in the drawing, and then I was told how the doodle I spent at most 2 minutes on, was better then the drawing I spent two days on, because the actual drawing isn't that proportional or the anatomy was off or something else entirely

Sorry for the vent, and I'm not at all mad at my friend, I do still care about her and her advice, I just, couldn't really deal with it today especially with getting some really bad thoughts come back recently and my struggle with just finishing the damn drawing

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

That feeling when you’re scared to go home from school but you don’t want that be in school and you can’t wait for the school day to end but you never want it to<<<<<

[ionoreo]

Turns out I failed my health class from last semester! I know why I failed (because I HATED that fucking class and that STUPID inappropriate teacher and there was too much work for a burnt out idiot who hated herself and didn't feel pretty and hated hated hated it) and now I have to retake it next year. It's okay though Im not gonna have any friends next year though so that's a commitment i can drop for academic success

Starting to regret taking college classes when clearly I'm not mature enough for it and incapable of doing the work. I love it here and I would rather die than go to my regular dogshit highschool but man this is not the dream. Anime and entertainment lied to me man I thought id be doing great and looking good and having a high school adventure by now but what do you know I have failed an important class - my first class failure IN MY FUCKING LIFE I DONT KNOE HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS - and I might not make it throuh the school year

time to start working on the pull a Gianna D'antonio playlist

ughhhhhhhhhhhh

but I can't cry or else I'll ruin my makeup

[the-crystal-femmes]

This is probably going to be a long post and delves into mental health issues. Trigger and content tags will be applied but I'm putting this under a "read more". Please bear with me.

I think I'm tired of believing that I'm constantly intimidating my mutuals, or being a nuisance. I constantly tend to believe that the reason I don't usually get mentioned in posts is, for some God forsaken reason, I come off as a bitch when I ask not to be tagged in certain things. It makes me sad, I'd like to be tagged in silly little posts as long as they don't fo against my boundaries.

Ever since the.. Incident on my sideblog, I've always felt nervous or on edge here. I fear something's going to happen again, my paranoia constantly gnawing at me. I've considered taking a break from Tumblr, but truthfully, it's my only form of socialization. I cannot go outside and talk to others, I live in a rural area, and I feel much less safe on apps like TikTok, Instagram, and Discord. Tumblr is my go-to with talking to others, but as of late I've felt so unsafe and unwanted that it's actually effecting my mental health.

I just want to be able to interact with my mutuals and make little posts. I don't want to constantly believe that I'm doing the wrong thing, wondering why anyone is still following this blog, or having constant fits of crying because I feel like I've fucked everything up.

I'll admit this now. I love attention, I constantly crave attention, and a lot of my posts are me begging for attention, whether subtly or very, very bluntly. It's why I ask for asks in my inbox a lot, it's why I constantly try to interact with others. This isn't a trait of mine that I like, at all. I always feel lonely, I've never had an explanation for my thought processes or why I do any of this. I'm surprised that anyone actually puts up with my shit because truthfully, I've lost multiple friends due to my behaviors. And I want to work on them, but when I'm so emotionally distressed, especially with everything going on in my life right now that I just don't talk about here, the problems are starting to pile up and I'm doing everything as an escape, like my brain is desperately pulling at strings.

I just want this to cease. Not in a.. Depressive way but, I just want to be normal, not a whiny, sniveling brat who constantly begs for attention and gets mad when I don't get it.

I'm just sorry. To anyone reading this, I am very, fucking sorry you have to put up with my shit.

[feral-cockroach]

god i fucking hate cfs i hate it i hate it i hate it im so tired and there is so much to do and i cant do it and i hate it