#ancient ass reference probably

[tallochar]

I feel Tim and Dick would learn to pull a Hudson Hawk sneaking around stunt just for the shit and giggles, finish in synch and finger gun each other.

[aajjks]

The Biology of a Crush (m)

synopsis. teaching your sex crazed housemate about biology… came with it perks.

genre: crack, 18+.

pairings: jungkook x fem reader.

warnings: tèàchíng trôpê, crîngê jûngkôôk, hôrnÿ jûngkôôk, tsûndêrê ÿn, sêxûâl jôkês, ônê bêd trôpê, hê jûst wânts tô hît ît wîth ÿôû ând lîvê hâppîlÿ êvêr âftêr. MÁKÏNG OÜT

note. If this flops- oh well. But if this becomes a hit, I will make it a series hehe, photo credits to owner, found it on Pinterest. OMG ENJOY! He’s back to terrorize us all. He’s so fucking stupid.

•••

Here he is again.

Jungkook stumbles into your room like a lost puppy who’s been smacked in the face with a fucking textbook, eyes glassy, hair a mess like he just fought with a blender.

“Hey, uh, biology homework,” he mumbles, slouching against your doorframe like it owes him money. “what the fuck even is a mitochondrion? sounds like a droid from star wars or some shit.”

You stare. seriously? he’s asking you this now? the guy who probably thinks photosynthesis is a type of vegan snack.

“it’s the powerhouse of the cell,” you say, holding back a laugh. “basic shit, dude. your brain is the problem here.”

He scratches his head, smirking like he’s about to drop some next-level wisdom.

“powerhouse, huh? so… if mitochondria is the powerhouse, does that make me the power bottom? ’cause honestly, i’m running out of energy just thinking about this.”

You choke on your laugh. he’s already off to a terrible start and somehow has made it dirtier than the biology teacher probably intended.

“power bottom?” you say, eyes narrowing. “are you seriously turning cell organelles into your sex playlist?”

He shrugs, completely unapologetic. “hey, gotta keep it interesting. mitochondria’s got stamina, just like me.”

you roll your eyes so hard it feels like they might pop out. “you need help with actual homework, not your creepy-ass fantasies.”

he grins like a brat who just won a round. “oh, you’re helping. you’re gonna tutor me, and i’m gonna make it worth your while. biology and a show. deal?”

you blink. “i’m not signing up for your half-assed biology fuckery and your horny jokes.”

He winks. “too late, i’m already here.”

Ugh.

you try to focus but he’s leaning way too close, breath smelling like a mix of beer and bad decisions.

“so, mitochondria again— it’s like the battery, right? but what if the cell’s battery is low? does it need a recharge, or… can it just call me?”

“dude,” you snap, “put the damn homework down before you start asking if mitochondria has a dick.”

he laughs, shaking his head like he’s in his own private comedy club. “nah, but if it did, i bet it’d be massive and full of energy. probably the biggest organelle in the cell.”

you groan. “please, for the love of god, don’t make everything about dicks.”

he shrugs, voice dropping to a mock serious whisper. “biology is sex, babe. it’s all about reproduction, growth, and… fucking.”

“you’re impossible.”

he grins, clearly proud. “impossible to resist.”

you shove him playfully. “get your dumb ass back to the kitchen and let me study.”

“only if you promise to tutor me and let me use you as a reference,” he smirks, eyebrow raised.

you laugh, already knowing you’re fucked.

you slam the biology book on the desk, giving him the most serious look you can muster.

“alright, genius. mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. now, write that shit down before you forget it because i’m not repeating myself.”

he squints at the book like it’s written in ancient hieroglyphs. “powerhouse. power… house. does that mean the mitochondria throws ragers?”

you raise an eyebrow. “yeah, a rager where your dumbass finally learns some science.”

he snickers. “bet it invites the nucleus and the ribosomes. hey, does the nucleus wear the pants in this cell relationship?”

you groan, rubbing your temples. “please, stop anthropomorphizing cells like they’re your stupid roommates.”

“can’t help it, i’m just relating, you know?” he shrugs, then leans closer with that dumb grin. “so if mitochondria’s the powerhouse, can it power my dick too? ’cause sometimes it feels like it’s running on empty.”

you smack his arm. “stop talking about your dick and focus.”

he nods, pretending to be serious for a second before whispering, “but seriously, if my dick had a mitochondria, it’d be unstoppable.”

you laugh, shaking your head. “i’m never letting you cheat on this homework.”

“no worries, babe, i’m all yours. mitochondria and all.”

Ew.

You roll your eyes again, pulling out a pen. “write ‘mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell’ ten times.”

“fuck,” he groans, “this is worse than leg day.”

you grin. “welcome to adulthood.”

he starts writing, but you catch him daydreaming, eyes glazed over, fingers twitching like he’s imagining something dirty.

“what are you thinking about now?” you ask, smirking.

he snaps out of it, cheeks pink. “uh, nothing! just… how much mitochondria you got powering you up, babe.”

“oh my god,” you laugh. “you are a lost cause.”

“yeah, but a sexy lost cause,” he says, smirking again, clearly enjoying himself.

you sit beside him, nudging him with your shoulder. “fine, but you’re finishing this before i let you near me tonight.”

“deal. but just so you know,” he leans in, voice low and lazy, “the only power i want tonight is you.”

you roll your eyes but can’t help the smile tugging at your lips.

“get back to homework, dickhead.”

“yes, ma’am,” he says, mock-saluting before picking up the pen again.

he’s hunched over the desk, tongue poking out like a damn cartoon character concentrating way too hard on the biology worksheet in front of him. the pages are already covered in messy scribbles, but every line looks like a toddler attacked it with a crayon.

“okay,” he mutters, “mitochondria… powerhouse of the cell… right?”

you peek over his shoulder and blink. “is that a ‘p’ or the start of a swear word?”

he snorts, “shut up, it’s hard to write with these big-ass hands.”

you lean in, eyes narrowing at the page. “and what the hell is this? powerhouse of the hell? you sure you’re not mixing up your biology with your fantasy?”

he grins sheepishly. “maybe i’m just telling it like it is.”

you laugh but grab the pen, fixing the letters. “write it properly, or you’re gonna fail for real.”

“fine, fine.” he tries again but then scratches his head and smirks. “hey, do you think the nucleus ever gets jealous it’s not the powerhouse? like, why do mitochondria get all the glory?”

you roll your eyes so hard you swear they’re gonna get stuck. “are you seriously making up cell drama right now?”

“hey, cells got feelings too,” he deadpans. “probably.”

he goes back to writing, but his penmanship is such a disaster you can barely read it. then he suddenly freezes, tapping the pen against his lips.

“wait, what’s this chlorophyll thing? green stuff, right?”

you nod. “yeah, it helps plants make food from sunlight.”

his eyes widen, and he leans back like he just discovered the meaning of life. “damn. so plants are basically tiny solar panels?”

you laugh so hard you almost spill your drink. “exactly.”

he grins, “see? i’m learning!”

but then he smirks devilishly and adds, “you know what else gets powered by sunlight? my dick. it’s solar-powered too, babe.”

you smack his arm. “stop. just… stop.”

he chuckles, biting his lip. “can’t help it, my brain’s stuck on sex.”

you lean closer, whispering, “maybe that’s why your handwriting’s so fucked up.”

“hey!” he protests. “it’s all part of my charm.”

you grin, shaking your head. “your charm is a disaster wrapped in abs.”

he winks. “and you love it.”

you watch him scribble more messy notes, your heart doing that annoying flutter because yeah..

Maybe he’s dumb as hell but he’s your, chaotic, horny mess and all of a roommate.. or a housemate more likely.

•••

His face is scrunched like he’s deciphering an ancient text instead of a simple biology worksheet.

His handwriting looks like a toddler attacked a spaghetti plate with a pen words barely legible, letters wildly inconsistent in size and shape.

“okay,” he groans, “so… the cell membrane is like a… what? a bouncer?”

you stare at him. “a bouncer? what the actual fuck?”

he grins, waving his hands around. “yeah! it lets the good stuff in and kicks the bad shit out. makes sense, right?”

you lean back, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. “sure, if your cell was a shitty nightclub.”

he winks. “exactly. ‘cause you know i’m the bouncer of your heart.”

you roll your eyes but your lips twitch. “alright, fine, Mr. Bouncer, what’s next?”

he flips the page, scratching his head. “uhh… mitochondria… power… house… of…”

you lean over again and squint at the messy letters. “you wrote ‘powerhouse of the hell.’”

he shrugs, “yeah, biology’s hardcore.”

Goodness, he’s so fucking dumb. It’s like you’re losing your own brain cells.

you snap, “okay, listen here you dumbass if you get this right, I will fucking make out with you. no backing out.”

his eyes flick up like a kid who just got candy. “deal.”

you watch as he stares at the question like it’s a cryptic riddle. “mitochondria… is the… um… energy… club?”

you snort, “club? seriously?”

he nods proudly. “yeah! like the mitochondria’s the hottest club where all the energy parties happen.”

you burst out laughing. “jesus christ, you are hopeless.”

he grins, cheeks flushed. “hey, at least it’s memorable.”

you shake your head, trying not to melt because holy hell, the mix of his dumb ass and that stupid grin is somehow your kryptonite.

he leans back, flexing dramatically. “alright, smarty pants, your turn explain photosynthesis so i can copy it and pass.”

you smirk. “fine, but only if you say ‘photosynthesis’ in your sexy voice.”

he clears his throat and purrs, “photo-syn-the-sis.”

you giggle. “close enough.”

he starts copying your notes, but then stops suddenly, looking up at you with those big brown eyes. “you know, if i get a good grade on this, maybe you could give me a little extra credit…”

you raise an eyebrow. “oh yeah? and what’s that supposed to look like?”

he leans forward, voice dropping low, “like… maybe a reward involving your lips on mine.”

you smirk wickedly, “jesus, i’m supposed to tutor you, not get a boner.”

he laughs, “Hey, can’t help it, you’re a distraction.”

you shake your head, pretending to be annoyed, but secretly loving the whole damn mess. “okay, back to the stupid homework, you bumbler, or you’re gonna fail and lose that reward.”

he groans but gets back to scribbling, only to pause and say, “hey, can you teach me the biology of kissing next?”

you grin, “oh God, we are so doomed.”

•••

he’s hunched over the desk again, hair a total mess, hoodie pulled up like he’s ready for battle. for once, the pen’s actually moving, and you can see he’s trying— kinda but those smudges and crossed-out words tell the real story.

“okay,” he mutters, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth like he’s concentrating hard, “so… photosynthesis… plants take sunlight… and turn it into… food… or something.”

you bite back a laugh. “you’re so close, dumbass. it’s sugar, not food. plants make glucose.”

he nods, writing it down, but then pauses and grins like he just had a brilliant idea. “so… if i get this right, do i get to put my tongue inside your throat?”

WTF?

you stop mid-sentence, stare at him like he’s lost his damn mind. “excuse me? what the hell kind of motivation is that?”

he shrugs, cheeks pink. “i’m just saying, i’m a motivated student now.”

you snort, shaking your head. “okay, first lesson — keep your filthy mouth on the page, not on me.”

he grins wider, eyes sparkling with mischief. “no promises.”

you lean forward, smirking. “you really wanna learn? then prove it.”

he taps his pen on the paper, looking like he’s thinking hard, but you can tell his mind is racing between biology and imagining exactly how he’d do that tongue thing.

“alright,” he says slowly, “so photosynthesis happens in the chloroplasts, right? and… they use sunlight, water, and CO2 to make glucose and oxygen.”

you blink. “holy shit. that’s actually right.”

he beams like he just won the goddamn Nobel Prize. “see? motivated.”

you lean back, trying to hide the stupid smile creeping up your face. “fine. but don’t think this means you get to start practicing your tongue skills anytime soon.”

he pouts. “a girl can dream.”

you mock sigh, “jesus christ, you’re hopeless.”

he snickers, then suddenly leans in a little closer, voice low and teasing, “hey, maybe if i ace this, you could give me a private tutoring session… you know, to help me… practice.”

you roll your eyes but can’t deny the heat spreading through you. “fuck, you’re impossible.”

he grins like he knows exactly what he’s doing, and honestly?

you kinda love it.

he stares at the last question, fingers trembling like a damn kid on Christmas, then scribbles the answer with way too much confidence. “done.”

you raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “let me see that.”

he hands over the paper like it’s a trophy, chest puffed out, eyes bright.

you skim it quickly, and holy shit, he actually got everything right.

“fuck,” you breathe, stunned. “you really did it.”

he stands, puffing his chest up like a damn peacock. “soooo… that means you owe me a kiss.”

you smirk, eyes narrowing. “roughly.”

he grins like he just won the world’s hottest prize, then lunges forward before you can second-guess yourself.

his lips hit yours hard and fast no fuckin hesitation, no gentle warning.

It’s chaotic, messy, like he’s trying to make up for every moment he’s been a pain in your ass.

his mouth is warm, teeth accidentally grazing yours and making you gasp.

“shit,” he mumbles against your lips, tongue darting out to swipe over the seam, hungry and a little desperate.

you pull back just enough to smirk, breath hot against his skin.

“wow, someone’s starved.”

he chuckles low, voice thick. “you have no idea.” he’s horny you will regret this.

his hands grip your waist like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. his fingers dig in, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you.

he’s rough, a little greedy— biting your bottom lip, then drags his teeth down your neck like it’s a goddamn battlefield.

But fuck, it feels so good. Too good.

you try to push him away, but honestly? you don’t want to. his sloppy, needy kiss is exactly the chaos you didn’t know you craved.

he pulls back just enough to breathe, forehead resting on yours, lips swollen and pink.

“that good?” he asks, voice ragged.

you smirk, brushing a thumb over his jaw. “yeah, dumbass. you just might be worth the homework help after all.”

he grins, eyes sparkling with all the filthy promises he hasn’t said yet.

“next question,” he says, “how about a second round?”

and just like that, you’re both drowning in the mess of him — the jokes, the chaos, the absolute, undeniable chemistry.

•••

You don’t even know how it escalated this fast.

One second he was holding up his tragic excuse of a biology worksheet— smudged ink, questionably phallic doodles on the margins, answers like

“probably bones n stuff” and the next, you were pushing him up against the couch, calling him the dumbest smart guy you’ve ever met.

And now?

Now he’s kissing you like he’s been starved.

“mhmm.”

His hands are everywhere— gripping your hips like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you, pressing you flush against him like he wants to merge bodies, like biology is this.

You gasp against his mouth when his teeth scrape just a little too rough on your bottom lip, and that’s when it happens.

That noise.

“Nghh yeah.”

A full-on, real, no-holding-back, filthy little moan that leaves his mouth before he even realizes it.

And the moment he does?

“Did you…” You pull back just slightly, blinking. “Did you just moan?”

He freezes. Wide-eyed.

Flushed.

Embarrassed but trying so hard not to show it.

“I— no, that wasn’t a moan,” he lies. Badly. “That was a uh… a groan. Like a manly groan. Like a victorious warrior finally conquering his greatest battle.”

You stare at him.

“In your biology homework?”

“Yes.”

He clears his throat, but it’s still scratchy from moaning. “I’ve unlocked the secret of life. And it’s your lips. Very educational.”

You snort— actually snort and push him back down on the couch. He lands with a dramatic oof and a hand still gripping your waist.

“You’re unbelievable,” you mutter, cheeks warm.

“And you,” he says, smirking up at you from below, “are contractually obligated to kiss me again because I solved a whole-ass worksheet. I even spelled mitochondria right.”

You squint. “Barely.”

“Still counts.”

You roll your eyes, but you’re already leaning in again. Because his lips are soft, and he’s still looking at you like he’s half a second away from combusting, and fine— maybe he earned this.

Just this once.

Maybe.

(Probably not. But he doesn’t need to know that.)

[fvaleraye]

limbus company is a wild game. you play as a nonbinary amnesiac who got their head cut off and responded by replacing it with a flaming wall clock, whose second job is to (ineffectually, at first) be the manager of a group of people on a bus and whose first job is to revive and heal them anytime anything happens, which is all the time. your party is comprised of a dour scientist who has a habit of speaking in poetry, a mysterious white haired genius implied to be in a constant mental discord call with different versions of herself across multiple universes, an autistic woman who named her shoes after a fictional horse and turns into an ancient and powerful vampire if they're ever taken off, a swordswoman who speaks a third of her mind in acronyms and loves to murder people "artistically", an autistic frenchman built like a fridge who refuses to be a person unless ordered to, a long haired rich pretty boy who accidentally pisses people off with his sheltered behavior half the time and pretends to be dumber than he is to purposefully annoy people the other half, a british thug whose entire plot could have been solved by just spitting it out and also turned into a wolf monster for a bit, a ginger who got bored of her office job and decided to get on a boat and hunt whales about it, a russian gambler whose mental health and self image are rapidly deteriorating while she is also getting progressively worse at hiding it, a young man who is really in over his head while also being very good at killing people who also is weirdly good at translating the earlier mentioned swordswoman's acronyms, a kiss-ass former military woman who would probably kill everyone else in the party if she thought she could get away with it, and a czech former-soldier who got a mutant bug arm and intense ptsd and depression. there's also the all powerful guide who tells you where to go who is legally not allowed to be too helpful and is also perpetually sick of your shit, and the strange girl who drives the bus you all ride in without a license or a lick of training. also the bus looks like a train. add onto the fact that most of the characters and their backstories are references to classic literature, and you have what is possibly the world's MOST dysfunctional dnd party.

we love this fucking game.

[yunsound]

Chinese Mythology: The Four Dragon Kings

Does anyone remember Ao Guang? Or the other three Dragon Kings? Or did anyone watch Ne Zha 2025?

You may then know of the Four Dragon Kings of Ancient China (四海龙王). 

Historically all four of them are male- some recent adaptations will show one (or more) of them as female just for fun. China, even in ancient times, did not have four seas around it- the four dragon kings each correspond to a body of water in the cardinal directions. 

Ao Guang

The big guy, Ao Guang, the Dragon King of the East, does have a “sea”: the East China Sea. 

A carving of Ne Zha fighting Ao Guang (we all remember how that went, right?)

We know and love Ao Guang since he’s the one who got Ne Zha killed (after both he and his son got their asses beat) and is also the guy who gave Sun Wukong his mythical weapon, the Ruyi Jingu Staff (maybe will make a post on mythological weapons at some point).

His third son, Ao Bing, is famous for getting his tendons plucked out by Ne Zha.

Subtitles: I'll pull your tendons out, see if you can still hurt anyone after this! (sorry for Ne Zha being kind of naked, he's a kid who was just taking a bath)

Ao Guang is the biggest, most powerful Dragon King.

In the Fengshen Yanyi (Investiture of the Gods post here), he’s a big dickhead who forces people to give him offerings or he’ll bring them drought and disaster. He’s very powerful, and is the leader of the Four Dragon Kings.

He’s also the sexy dragon dilf dad in Ne Zha 2. 

I just cannot get over this character design, oh my goodness.

Ao Run

Ao Run, pronounced Ow Rwen (also sometimes called Ao Ji) is the Dragon King of the West. 

He does not have a “sea”: in fact, he rules over the biggest lake in China, Qinghai Lake. It’s big enough that we consider it a sea, I guess. It used to be considered an actual sea (like, connected out to the open ocean) probably because it’s huge, but it was probably never actually a sea. 

Lake Qinghai has shrunk a lot. You can tell in this picture: right now it’s about the size of Trinidad.

See all that dry land? Used to be lake.

It’s very blue, which is why it’s called Qinghai 青海 (blue sea). Qing generally refers to a bright blue-teal shade. 

Ao Run’s son, Ao Lie, is the dragon that is sentenced to death by the Jade Emperor for setting fire to Ao Run’s palace accidentally and destroying a whole bunch of stuff. In the end, Guanyin Pusa spares Ao Lie’s life and sends him on the Journey to the West with Wukong, Tangsen, Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing. You may recall that Tangsen had a big fancy white horse- that’s Ao Lie!

You may notice in this picture everyone else's names are labeled except for the horse. It's kind of sad- he's a little irrelevant.

A huge downgrade, from being a fancy dragon prince to a horse, but you can’t say he didn’t deserve it. 

He's also featured in Fei Ren Zai (a very funny comic/animation series about mythical figures in modern-day also featuring Ne Zha, Wukong and Erlang Shen).

You may remember Ao Run from Ne Zha 2, 2025 as the sexy dragon lady with the killer sky-splitting manicure. 

Sorry, she did things to me when I first saw her appear in her human form.

Ao Shun

Ao Shun, pronounced Ow Shwen, is the Dragon King of the North.

He also does not have a “sea”, like Ao Run. His patron body of water is what’s now known as Lake Baikal (Wikipedia better not fail me, I actually had no idea where the North China Sea was supposed to be). 

Lake Baikal is the deepest lake in the world, it’s right up there in the south part of Siberia. North enough for you?

Back when the Han dynasty was fighting the Xiongnu (the Huns in Disney’s Mulan, basically), they beat the Xiongnu in a battle here. They saw this huge-ass lake, and decided they’d refer to it as the North China Sea. Lake Baikal is larger than Belgium. A little scary, no?

In Ne Zha 2, he was the freaky purple-green guy with blades all over his body. You may remember him fighting Ao Bing in a very exciting battle sequence. I’m not aware of any myths where he’s of any significance. 

A hard pass. Sorry, second uncle. Your big brother and younger sister are much hotter.

Ao Qin

Ao Qin, pronounced Ow Chin (敖钦) is the Dragon King of the South.

The South China Sea of recent geopolitical tension fame is in fact a sea. Other than Ao Guang, he’s the only one with an actual sea. There’s not much to say about Ao Qin, he’s not that relevant.

If you remember him from Ne Zha 2, he’s the big red one who’s dumb as bricks..

The Four Dragon Kings are really not that important aside from Ao Guang and Ao Run. Ao Guang is a key mythological figure- he appears in many myths, and is a semi-major character in Journey to the West.

Ao Run contributes mainly by giving Tangsen a horse in the form of his son. Poor Ao Lie. 

In the 1979 Ne Zha Conquers the Sea, they are all seen briefly scheming with Ao Guang to go Karen-style and ask for the manager (Jade Emperor).

They're all siblings (since they have the same last name, Ao), with Ao Guang being the oldest brother. The order of ages past that is a little harder to figure out- from what I know, their ages are

Ao Guang

Ao Shun

Ao Qin

Ao Run

I actually don't know where Ao Run is in the ranking, I just know Ao Qin is younger than Ao Shun. As such, Ao Run could be either the youngest, the second youngest or the third youngest.

[crybaby-bkg]

Flying the Coop

Gojo and Getou were supposed to love you as much as they loved each other. You even let them turn you into a vampire, so that you could all stay together forever. So why do you still feel like such an outsider?

Warnings: vampirism, human reader turned to a vampire, being referred to as nestling and little one, emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, coercion, cunnilingus, ass play, reader referred to as she/her, double penetration in one hole, cervix fucking, and lots of blood and biting. please let me know if I forgot anything and please enjoy!!

Word Count: 4.8k

Also available on Ao3!

Minors/blank/ageless blogs DNI!

Fuck Gojo Satoru and Getou Suguru. You didn’t need them anymore than they needed you, which wasn’t at all. They might’ve been the oldest vampires in the area, probably on earth, but you didn’t give a single fuck if they were only going to treat you like a pet. Not as an equal, despite your newly turned status, but as something they could gawk at and fuss over before pushing away to the end of the bed. Before you became something to grow tired of, before they fell back into each other, their love centuries older than you could ever comprehend, before you could ever fully mesh into their daily lives. 

As a human, you had been drawn to them since you were young and had heard tales of the devils living on the top of the hill. How they never grew old, how some of the townsfolk had gone missing over the years, how they only ever appeared at night, seemingly stepping right out of the shadows. But you weren’t scared of them; you never were. 

Although, you do tremble when you go knocking on their door one night, entire body lit up in anxiety and anticipation and worry for whether or not you’ll make it to the next morning. You try to hold your chin up high when the door creaks open ever so slowly—they always had a thing for the dramatics—and find two pairs of curious eyes meeting you on the other side. 

You ask to be their familiar, claiming to know what they are, how shitty they are at hiding it since you guys aren’t in the eighteenth century anymore. You fear that you might’ve said too much, become too snippy with such ancient beings, but they only laugh at you. Satoru did, especially, with his alarmingly bright blue eyes and shock of white hair, holding his stomach with his hand as he let out an almost screech of a laugh. Suguru had joined him with a smaller chuckle, shaking his head, his untied hair falling in thick strands across his face. 

And without much further preamble, do they let you in. Agree to let you become their familiar, even though they claim to not have had one in centuries, as humans lives are just so unnecessarily short. You should’ve known then that they were up to something, that the plan in the long run was never to keep you as a human pet. No, you were far too interesting, too new, too shiny, too pretty, for them to ever want to let you go. 

Five years into being Satoru and Suguru’s familiar, do they turn you into a vampire alongside them. You tell yourself that you wanted the transformation, but you start to think back on the idea now, wonder if it was ever an original thought, question when the idea first popped up on its own without their influence. The idea was always pretty cool to you; you could develop different and unique powers, you would be super fast, have pretty long fangs which was definitely a plus, but—

But you never truly wanted this for yourself, did you? A lonely nobody, exiled from their family for wanting to live with devils, turned away from by the people who used to love you when you were small. And now you had to walk the earth alone for the rest of your days, killing the people who used to look just like you, who you used to share bread with, spill blood together. And now, here you are; stealing it like the air from their lungs, greedy, your belly never truly full, always just on the precipice of starvation. 

Suguru says this stage will past eventually, that you’re just a nestling for now, still always hungry, still wanting to feed from its mothers mouth. But you have never known starvation to be so consuming, that all you can think about is filling your mouth with hot blood until it pools from your lips, only to follow the trail with your tongue until there are no traces left. 

You never really wanted to be a vampire, did you? You never wanted to live forever, to have to see all of your favorite people die, to learn to love new ones, just for them to leave you as well. You never wanted to hide in the shadows—the sun feels so good on your skin, its warmth, its softness a comfort against flesh that welcomed its heat. You miss the sun. You miss being able to go out during the day and laugh with others that didn’t cower at the mere sight of you. 

Satoru says this stage will pass eventually, that you’re just a nestling for now, still always yearning for a life that never served you any good. He tells you that you’ll learn to appreciate your new body, tells you how overrated the sun is, that being able to walk the streets at night without fear is better than any warmth the sun could give you. Besides, he had said, if you need warmth, I know a few ways to heat up the body? 

The undead body, you had to remind him, that never once inched up in temperature, that was always just a touch too icy for your liking when you were still human. And now look at you; as cold as them, thirstier than you’ve ever been in your entire life. It was selfish. The entire act of turning you was selfish. 

But at least you all could be a couple now, right? At least you would finally be one of them, on their level, despite the seemingly eons amount of distance of age between you and the other immortals? You would finally be more than just a pet, right? Right? 

How desperate you were to be right. How terrible that you couldn’t be more wrong. 

You were always just a plaything for them. Something they promised held an equal amount of weight in the relationship, but you were nothing more than a shared pup, something for them to love on and fuck and nuzzle against, but never something permeant, something more concrete. 

They had laughed at your outburst, only a few weeks after being turned. How your eyes had gone red and you started floating from the floor, your mouth stretched wide and your fangs bared so long. You only looked like a child throwing a temper tantrum, your fangs mere baby teeth that they couldn’t wait to coo over after ripping them from your head. 

“Little nestling,” Suguru had cooed, arms stretched open from where he sat on the expansive love seat, a tiny smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. “Stop making such a fuss and come lay down. You’ll tire yourself out much too quickly.” 

It was like you were talking to a brick wall, one that only ever viewed you as something tiny and petulant. Like you could be soothed by being cradled, rocked to sleep and easily taken care of, like your outburst and anger was simply a reason of your near constant hunger. Like you were less than them. (But you always have been, haven’t you? You’ve only ever been something so new and fresh and tiny? Never quite equal? Never quite measuring up?) 

“Cmon, little one,” Satoru had cooed next, his tone dripping in sarcasm, as he, too, opened his arms in invitation, mocking. “Come lay with mommy and daddy so we can make you feel better.” 

You could only stand there, floating back down to the floor as your anger washed away from you. A cold feeling sunk in instead, something detached, something so hurt and broken, that every unnecessary inhale felt like a sharp stab to your lungs. Their bickering about who was mommy and who was daddy fell on deaf ears, your eyes fading back to a normal color as you slowly turn away from them. 

They don’t even notice you’re gone, until your scent is only a lingering smell lingering by the front doors that you’ve left open. You hadn’t taken anything but the clothes on your back as you left, both hurt and angry that they didn’t come after you. That they let you wander for weeks and weeks alone. 

That was the curse of vampirism, wasn’t it? Needing companionship? Needing someone to be by your side? So why did they need you? Why make you when they already had each for so fucking long—why drag you into their arms, why hold onto you so tight, why—why did they let you go so easily? Why didn’t they fight for you? 

No other vampire would care for you as much as they did, not with their scent permanently mingled in with your own. Satoru and Suguru were some of the oldest, most strongest vampires to have ever walked the earth. Every other vampire knew not to fuck with them, nor the things that they staked claim on. It only made immortal life harder. 

You were still just a nestling, determined to prove yourself a fledgeling but—but hunting was so hard. You rarely had to do it on your own, always had Satoru catch the humans, Suguru dispose of the body. Now you had to do all of that without getting caught, without making too much of a scene wherever you went. You couldn’t—you couldn’t do it. 

Admitting defeat hurt more than you had expected it to, but you couldn’t remember the last time you ate, and you were only growing weaker by the days. Suguru found you, on the verge of being swallowed whole by the sun, laying on their front door steps, hand still posed midair to knock, too weak from hunger to do anything but lay there and die. 

Suguru only chuckled at the sight of you. Scooped up your limp body as if you weighed nothing, tutting at you the entire time under his breath, but you could just barely make out his smile. 

“Look at what I found decaying by our front door,” Suguru said after climbing the many steps, depositing you on the end of the bed that Satoru laid on, the curtains drawn to swallow the room in darkness. He lays you down gently, his touch cold, your body stiff, your stomach curling in on itself with hunger. 

“It took you too long to come home, little one.” Satoru had pouted, slithering down the bed until he hovered above you. He noted your chapped lips and faded eyes, how you kept easing in and out of consciousness. He smiled at the weak sight of you, holding his hand out as Suguru pattered over to the other side of the room, opening up the glass case that held too much blood for only two—three—vampires. Suguru hummed softly to himself as he poured a nice, heavy glass, passing it to Satoru as he sat beside your head, the blue eyed man grinning above you. 

“Do you want to feed, little one?” Satoru asks softly when you’re conscious enough to focus on his gaze, having the nerve to look just a tad bit scared, hopeless. You can only pout your lips the way you know he likes, always the one to concede so easily to your wishes. But Suguru tuts from beside you, positioning your head in his lap as he helps you sit up ever so slightly, Satoru pressing the rim of the cup to your lips. But he doesn’t tilt it, keeps the sweet smelling blood so close, yet so far from reach. You’re too weak to grab it for yourself, always so dependent on them, just the way they like it. 

“Then you have to promise to never, ever leave us again, little nestling.” Suguru says quietly, but his voice is firm. He holds your jaw tight in his hands, stops you from even getting a drip of blood between the cracks of your lips. He waits until you look up at him, his eyes a deep plum, his mouth set in a thin line. 

“Do you promise?” Satoru asks softly, teasing the cup to his own mouth, a threat to take it all away if you don’t comply, conform to their fucked up family where your only role is to always be chosen second. 

“I promise.” You croak out, coughing from the dryness of your throat, already starting to fade out of consciousness again from the lack of eating in so long. 

“Good,” Suguru hums, finally easing his grip from your jaw to allow Satoru to tip the cup to your mouth. “We’ll make a blood promise then.” 

You’re not sure if you hear the last part correctly, too busy wincing at how your fangs burst from your gums, how they bite into the glass cup that Satoru pours into your mouth. You try to sit up on your own, take the cup from him, but Suguru only nestles you into his grip, nuzzling you against his stomach, Satoru holding firm on the cup, controlling just how much you guzzle down second by second. 

“Poor little nestling,” Satoru coos with a chuckle. “Couldn’t even hunt on her own for a few weeks. You still can’t even hold your neck up by yourself, little one.” He presses gentle, soft kisses to the roundness of your cheek, watching the way you quickly start to gather your strength with every passing second, every swallow of the thick nectar. 

“But that’s okay, right, Satoru?” Comes Suguru’s teasing voice, running a finger down the slope of your neck, holding his palm there to feel the way you swallow. “She’ll never be able to leave us again. Our very own little nestling to take care of.” 

“Its time for us to take care of our little one now, don’t you think?” Satoru asks, pulling away the now empty cup, taking in the panting sight of you. You look so much like you did the day you left, all pouty and confused, wanting to be so big and strong on your own, not knowing that the umbilical cord was never actually cut. 

When you don’t answer, Satoru tilts your chin up to face him, Suguru dipping his head down to trace the faint lines of blood that escaped from the corners of your mouth with the tip of his tongue. You try to bite back a whimper, feeling much more like prey than you ever have, even when you were still human. 

“So weak and depleted.” Suguru hums, pulling you into his lap as he eases both himself and you to lay against the pillows at the top of the bed. He cradles your body against his own, your upper half curled toward him to lap at the blood that coats your teeth, your tiny little fangs. You pull away ever so slightly to watch Satoru crawl up the bed in front of you, akin to a snow leopard, all deadly predator with that glint in his eyes, with the way his smile curls up deviously at the corners. 

“What do you think, baby?” Satoru asks, but you’ve never had much choice in this relationship, have you? You nod, only to appease them, but you know they would’ve taken what they wanted anyway, in the end. And what they want—what they’ve wanted from you—was your pleasure. Even if it meant they never got off, even if it meant they would miss out on days and days of sleep just to torture you with their mouths and hands and cocks—its all they’ve ever wanted. 

Was it boredom, that had settled into their relationship? Is that why they had changed things up, brought you along with them? To be some plaything? To keep you needy and dependent on them, because what other vampires would worship you the way they did? What other vampires would spoil you? Hunt for you, clean for you, and fuck you nice and heavy after until you were drunk on being full, in more ways than you could count? 

So you lay there, and you take it. Let them do whatever they want to you, because they’ve always known whats best for you, more than you ever have for yourself, haven’t they? 

Suguru strips off his shirt as Satoru peels your own dirtied and tattered layers from your skin until you’re bared in front of them. Suguru guides your head to his chest, his nipple grazing your mouth as he forces your lips open, prying them apart with thick fingers. 

“You’ll need some of my blood, little nestling, to heal even faster.” He tells you, grazing his thumb on your elongated fangs until his skin splits open, dripping a few droplets of crimson into your mouth. “Bite me, right here, and feed.” 

You’re too high on the addictive taste of such old, powerful blood to care that he’s directing you to bite him right over his nipple, to suckle from his chest like the babe he’s always looked at you as. You’re too high on the taste of him to care about the sight you make; your head cradled in the thick bicep of his arm, his hair untied and casting a shadow over your face, his thumb caressing your cheek as you suckle around his nipple until his blood leaks from the corners of your mouth. 

Satoru only chuckles under his breath at the sight as he settles himself between your thighs, sticky and soft from the aphrodisiac that flows in Suguru’s blood. It was one of the special powers he was gifted after being turned so long ago, a secret that only the two of them share. It makes moments like these all the more intoxicating, knowing that you’ll be begging for both of them in mere minutes. 

Satoru bites you without warning, his thicker, longer fangs seemingly touching bone from how deep they reside in your skin. You whimper at the feeling, unable to pull away from Suguru’s chest as you grip the soft locks of Satoru’s hair. He bites from your stomach, to your inner thighs, your mound. His lips pull back from his teeth as he hovers over your swelling clit, in threat, in promise, laughing under his breath when you grip his hair even tighter and cry out around Suguru’s breast. 

“I’m only kidding, little one,” Satoru teases, pressing a bloody kiss to your folds, wet and loud and smacking. Your hips jerk slightly in response, body relaxing ever so slowly as you continue to swallow mouthfuls of Suguru’s blood, your head feeling light and heavy as the pleasure overcomes you. 

“So sensitive,” Suguru notes as he plucks your nipple from where he cradles you, how you whine in response, how you push your hips toward Satoru’s waiting, red mouth. 

He licks you, from your wet little hole to the tip of your clit, and when that isn’t enough, he repositions you until your thighs rest on his shoulders. Your ass doesn’t even touch the bed anymore, and thats the way he likes it, as Satoru carves a path from your rim to the top of your cunt. He licks you like that again and again until you’re dripping, slick and blood sliding from your pelvis to messy onto the old and expensive sheets beneath you. 

“Did you miss this, little nestling?” Suguru asks, cupping your cheek so that you could blink up at him through thick, fluttering lashes. Your lips are swollen from how much you’ve drunk from him, mouth red and pretty, draining him so much, but he can’t help but indulge you just a bit more. His baby, his sweet little thing. 

“How about this?” Satoru asks when you don’t answer fast enough, sucking your clit into his mouth as if the nub fills the entirety of it. He sucks at your clit the same way you’ve seen him suck Suguru’s cock; like its a mouthful, like the tip of it hits the back of his throat. But the pleasure is too good to complain, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as your hips cant against his face, mouth falling away from Suguru’s tit. 

“Yes,” you pant, holding onto Satoru’s hair as he swallows thickly like your clit fills his mouth, holding your hips steady to fuck the throbbing little thing against his thick tongue. “Missed you both so much. S’sorry, I’m so sorry for leaving,” you slur, blood still thick and heavy against your teeth and gums, but they only coo at the desperate sight of you. 

“Poor baby,” Suguru mockingly pouts, slipping his fingers into your mouth, coated in his own blood, fucking them down your throat. You can’t stop your gagging, nor does Suguru want you to, his cock throbbing at the way your throat closes around his digits. He fingers your fang as he pulls his own out, gripping it between his forefinger and thumb, a threat. 

“You know, bad nestlings usually get their fangs ripped out by their sires when they disobey.” Suguru says softly, so easily, you would’ve thought that he was confessing his undying love to you with that tone. You want to panic, you tell yourself to get up, rip yourself away from them, save yourself, but you feel too good to do anything but lay there. You’re so close to coming; Satoru’s tongue feels so good against your clit, Suguru’s fingers stuff your mouth so good. 

“What do you think, Satoru?” He asks, tipping your head back with his grip on your fang, leaning down to ghost his own over the swell of your cheek. 

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper around his finger in your mouth, your voice lost beneath the slurping of Satoru against your clit, the teasing words of Suguru. 

“Be nice, Suguru,” the blue eyed man says quickly before attaching himself back to your clit, lashing his tongue against the swollen and fat bud. 

“Always so easy and quick to forgive, hmm?” Suguru teases, still not letting go of your fang, still holding you on the precipice of explosion. When he pulls ever so slightly, and when Satoru sucks your clit harshly into his mouth, do you finally tip over the edge. Cum so hard that your entire body spasms, your cries loud and echoing in the quiet house, trembling all over until you suck in a breath that you don’t need. 

As you come down from your high, you feel them moving you, rearranging you until you’re nestled between them, Satoru at your front as he kisses you sloppily with wetted lips. Suguru presses open mouthed kisses along your nape and shoulders, biting every so often just to hear you exhale shakily. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble after a few seconds of silence, burying your face in Satoru’s chest. He hums, rubbing at your flank as he positions your thigh to hook over his own, Suguru nuzzling in closer as you feel his cock poke at your inner thigh. You should’ve known that this wasn’t over yet, that they wouldn’t let you off so easily with just one orgasm. It was barely morning yet. For your insolence, you’d be lucky if they let you free anytime in the next month. 

“Show us how sorry you are by taking both of us at the same time,” Satoru whispers into your hair, his own cock sliding against Suguru’s as they fight for the space between you. You open your mouth to agree; its nothing new, letting them fuck you at the same time, one in your pussy, the other in your ass. But only then do you realize, that they mean in the same hole at once. 

“I-I don’t—”

“I thought you were so remorseful about leaving us all high and dry for so long?” Suguru asks from behind you, sliding his cock between your slick lips. 

“I am, but you guys haven’t even prepped me,” you’re cut off again by Satoru this time, who rubs his tip against Suguru’s, your slick the lube for them. 

“This new body of yours adjusts and heals so much faster than your old one. Why not try it out now?” He asks, tilting your head up so that you’re fully consumed by his gaze, by the blood that still stains his mouth, the brightness of his eyes in the dark room. 

You’re not sure you’re even allowed to say no. 

So you let them do whatever they please with you, as you always have, so dependent on their word and how well they’ll take care of you. It hurts, the way they stretch you, both pushing inside of your too small cunt at the same time. You cry out that it won’t fit, that one of them should’ve entered first then the other, that your ass is still an option. But they ignore you, kissing each other over your head, swallowing their own moans and gasps of pleasures as their cocks kiss inside of you, nestled much too close to your cervix. 

You feel like your entire lower half is ripping and splitting itself into two from the painful stretch; Satoru’s cock is so long, Suguru’s is so thick. You think you can taste them in the back of your throat when they finally settle both of their cocks inside of you, filling you to the brim. Vampires can’t cry, they can’t breathe, but you take a wet, shuddering inhale as you bury your face into Satoru’s neck, wrapping your arms around him as you struggle to adjust. 

But then, Suguru’s bleeding wrist is thrust in front of your face, and your head is so light, you don’t think twice before drinking from him. Letting his essence flow into you, how it suddenly makes the pain subside into something pleasurable, how you suddenly feel like two cocks stuffed in your hole is just enough. 

“Fuck me,” you whisper when Suguru gently pries his wrist from your mouth, smearing the still leaking blood against Satoru’s parted lips. He licks them, grinning, giving Suguru a knowing look over your head as they communicate silently. 

Satoru moves first, quick and much too harsh if you were still a human. You were sure you’d break if so, with the way his claws dig into your sides and how he pistons his hips much too fast for any regular eye to see. Suguru follows him at his own pace, leisurely, but deep, his tip kissing against your cervix with every thrust, until you’re sure he’s close to fucking into your womb. 

The differences of their paces is otherworldly, makes your crying out and moaning a jumbled mess of chords amongst their own noises. Sometimes they’re both inside of you at the same time, their tips fighting to press against your cervix at once, and other times, only Satoru’s tip is inside while Suguru nuzzles deep inside of you. The differences of their sizes makes your head spin, feeling like they’re touching you everywhere, inside and out. 

Satoru’s mouth is on yours; Suguru’s stealing you from him, his fangs pressed against your tongue; Satoru reaches around to push a finger inside of your ass with a bloodied and slicked digit; Suguru presses around to rub your clit with thick fingers, stuffing an extra finger in your already full hole just to feel you tighten up around them even more. They’re mean, laughing at your whimpers and cries, using you again and again until you burst around them, squirting all over their cocks, making an even bigger mess on the already ruined sheets. 

“Fuck, I missed feeling you cum on our cocks,” Satoru moans, scissoring two fingers inside your ass as Suguru keeps fingering at your clit, making your hips jerk and spasm as you try to claw your way out of their grips. 

“Cmon, you got one more in there for us, don’t you, little one?” Suguru teases, laughing when you vigorously shake your head and claw at his arm, drawing more blood to messy the three of you. They don’t take you seriously though, knowing that they’ll force it out of you if need be. 

And they do exactly that; fucking you, touching you everywhere, with their mouths, their hands, their cocks, until you cum again, squeezing them so hard that they reach their own peaks. Neither of them pull out, filling you up so thickly with their cum, you think you can taste it in the back of your throat. Your stomach feels heavy, as you imagine it bloating from how much they spill inside of you, both biting at different parts of your body as they spill rope after thick, hot rope of cum inside your aching pussy. 

And even then, when you’re spent and aching and tired and dripping with more cum than you thought possible; its not enough. Nothing has ever satisfied them, and you’re not sure if anything ever will. Not until you break for them, just so they could build you back up, put your pieces back together again. Only then are you sure, that you’ll finally be enough for them and their greed.  

thank you all so much for reading! likes/reblogs/comments/asks are so greatly appreciated ♥️

[anim-ttrpgs]

Eureka is an absolute masterpiece of a ttrpg with so much thought and care put into it. I really can't say enough good things about it. I do want to know if you have made/plan to make any other ttrpgs? I would love to see more genres besides supernatural urban mystery from you because of how quality your work is (but it's completely understandable if you have no plans to do other things).

Thank you! It’s taken us years to refine Eureka’s rules to this level of polish, and I do think it shows! A warning to all other aspiring TTRPG designers, though, don’t make your first project something this big! Keep it short! Not “one page rules” type of short, but don’t be like us and make your first real project a full-on trad TTRPG with this many different moving parts.

If you have aspirations to make something as crunchy and fleshed-out as Eureka, maybe try to execute the concept in a more simpler “OSR” style, and then after you’ve gotten more experience under your belt, maybe made some money and/or gotten a team together, then maybe try that concept again with more crunch. Call it “Advanced [Your Earlier Game Title]”

As for the future of A.N.I.M., we are planning to continually release adventure modules for Eureka, and probably also add-ons like extra Traits, Monster Traits, etc. I would love to include some playable monsters from cultures outside “the west” too, but I wouldn’t want to half-ass them, I’d want to give them as much research, attention detail and themes, etc. that I’ve given to all the other monsters. That’s just a lot harder when the best sources aren’t always in English.

Speaking of shorter games, I already wrote a little tiny game on the side called Edge Hedge Arena.

This is a game where you google “[Your Name] the Hedgehog”, choose one of the many Sonic OCs that are likely to come up, then give them stats and battle them against those of other players using the rules provided.

Since I basically have no more rules to write for Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy and I’m mostly just waiting for other members of the team to finish working on their parts, I’ve partially moved on to working on A.N.I.M.’s next big game, too!

We’ve learned our lesson, it’s not going to be anywhere near the page count or crunch level of Eureka, even though you know I love crunchy games. Well, actually, it’s probably only slightly less crunchy than Eureka, but it’s about much more specific scenarios, so it’ll still overall have less mechanics. The scope is much smaller.

This is a dark comedy/satire game that kind of takes the Forgotten Realms “evil sexy matriarchal bdsm slavery society ruled by warriors who fight in lingerie” dark elf concept and asks the question of “What kind of society and circumstances would actually produce this?” (Though it doesn’t actually take place in Forgotten Realms or any other D&D setting)

And then makes the comparison to 20th and 21st century American capitalism. “No, these aren’t slaves, they aren’t chained up and are allowed to leave any time they want. But they only get food so long as they keep working, and if they disobey then can get beaten.” It started out as a joke, but we are probably going to add "media literacy" to the list of requirements alongside dice and stuff hahaha, like, the ability to understand that the world of this game is not supposed to represent the author's idea of a perfect society. We might add that to Eureka too.

Silk&Dagger is about class, gender roles, different ways that forced labor can manifest in a society, and most importantly surviving all of those things.

Going forward to understand what I’m saying you have to know that in this setting, “Drow” is a title, referring to the ruling warrior caste. Most Drow are dark elves, but not all dark elves are Drow. This society is structured a bit like ancient Sparta, with a very small ruling caste of warriors, and a very large servant caste. Social mobility between these castes is possible, but rather than getting into it in detail and making this post super long, let’s just say that many servants consider themselves temporarily embarrassed Drow.

A typical “party” in Silk&Dagger is will consist of one Drow PC and any number of servant PCs working for her. There are regular chores that need to be done around the palace, which provide challenges, but scenarios will also throw major issues into the mix.

A Drow’s Reputation is everything, if the Drow PC’s Reputation stat reaches 0, that is the failure state for the entire party, because it basically means no more food. (Even the servants, for lore reasons that I also won’t get into)

So a typical scenario will be like “Somebody very important is coming to visit, but the lower floor of the palace is starting to flood for an unknown reason.” We’re going to have multi-part tables where you can randomly generate these, but we will also have more in-depth adventure modules for it in the future.

We ran a playtest the other day basically based on this scenario. The intended comedy of the game really came out as we kept switching perspectives, with the Drow upstairs having to constantly come up with new ways to impress her guests and explain away that splashing sound while the servant worked down below trying to find and plug the leak.

So, the PCs will have to deal with all that while also making sure that all the chores get done, and the kicker is, they can’t easily communicate with each other. The massive gulf between the two castes is the real enemy here, along with the behavioral expectations placed on each.

They could’ve gotten a head start on dealing with the flooding if the servant had had permission to speak earlier and could’ve told the Drow that the lower floor is flooding, but

There’s a big list of behaviors that a servant has to fulfill when interacting with a Drow, which are basically designed to be impossible to follow and just get them in trouble, and a Drow who doesn’t strictly enforce this etiquette risks losing Reputation for it.

On the other side, Drow also have to constantly embody a list of six features, which basically means acting as evil as possible, their Reputation depends on it.

One other unique feature of Silk&Dagger is that it is a two-GM game. One GM does most of the normal GM stuff, while the other GM represents the ever-present societal expectations weighing on all the characters, subtracting Reputation points and important things every time the PCs do something that makes them look bad in the eyes of this society.

There may come times where PCs will just have to take the hit to get things done, or find clever ways to make it look like they’re upholding the status quo while secretly treating each other like equals when nobody’s looking.

You can expect, like, an alpha or beta version of this game to come to the patreon in probably January or February, and maybe even itchio if it is far along enough by then. It was actually supposed to be out on the patreon in December, but some personal issues and illnesses really held it up. I am really going to try and make it less than 200 pages.

I'll end the post with one of my favorite little bits from the setting/lore. One of the reasons that Drow dress like that is because it helps them identify each other by thermal vision in the pitch black tunnels. Unique patterns of covered and uncovered skin serve as a sort of personal heraldry.

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. If you’re just now reading this and learning about Eureka for the first time, you missed the crowdfunding window unfortunately, but you can still check out the public beta on itch.io to learn more about what Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy actually is, as that is where we have all the fancy art assets, the animated trailer, links to video reviews by podcasts and youtubers, etc.!

You can also follow updates on our Kickstarter page where we post regular updates on the status of our progress finishing the game and getting it ready for final release.

Beta Copies through the Patreon

If you want more, you can download regularly updated playable beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy earlier, plus extra content such as adventure modules by subscribing to our Patreon at the $5 tier or higher. Subscribing to our patreon also grants you access to our patreon discord server where you can talk to us directly and offer valuable feedback on our progress and projects.

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

[superkooku]

Girlfriend, HELP! I had a conversation with two girls today who took Theseus' side against Dionysus in the whole Ariadne affair. And they had the audacity to call Dionysus "the type of lazy husband who does nothing all day and gets his stupid ass drunk". What do I do?? 😭😭

Sounds like these girls are in desperate need for some good ol' Dionysus x Ariadne propaganda ! Don't worry, I'm here to save the day 🫡.

Ok, in all seriousness, these girls are entitled to their opinions buuuuuut they should at least know what they're talking about. If I were you, I'd just present them with the necessary arguments to explain why they work.

A lot of my claims depend on the source but your conversation partners clearly refer to those where he marries Ariadne and not those where she dies alone or with Theseus.

1. "Dionysus is a bad and lazy husband"

Ah yes, Dionysus the notoriously terrible husband that never cares about his wife.

The one who offers her a crown of literal starlight as a wedding gift and honors her in the sky.

The one who grants her a place among the gods and eternal youth.

The one who brings her to his epic journeys throughout the world.

The one whose love affairs are completely separate from his wedding to Ariadne (contrary to Zeus's where it's directly stated that Hera is in the picture) so we can interpret them as him having fun before settling down.

Even in the sources where Ariadne dies in the war against Perseus, Dionysus literally goes in the Underworld to fetch her soul back and resurrect her.

(and also they had a bunch of kids together so we can say they were, in fact, very active 😂).

2. He does nothing and gets drunk

I have a (almost) whole essay series dedicated to debunking this stance. The link is in my pinned post (Dionysus' iceberg)

To sum up, no he's very proactive, had to establish his cult as a god and... idk, just tell your friends to read the Bacchae if they're into Greek mythology and ancient greek plays.

Also, according to one source, he can't even get drunk. Only his followers are in the haze and he's fully in control.

3. He's stupid

Funnily enough, him being a fool is exactly what he tricks OTHERS into thinking.

When the pirates capture him because they think he's a prince, he just stands there, doesn't try to untie himself from the ropes and smiles...

Then he proceeds to fill the ship with vines, summon wild animals and force the pirates to jump at the sea, turning those who didn't drown into dolphins.

This and the Bacchae. Seriously, this play is a must-read before ANY Dionysus discussion starts.

4. They're on Theseus' side

Ok, so they have the right to like Theseus, even though my favorite pastime is making fun of his intellect (like I stated earlier, I don't even hate Theseus).

And my answer to this argument depends on the source. The ones where Theseus just dumps her from his own will or because he "forgor 💀" are 100% a jerk move from his part. Imagine her waking up alone on the island, probably without warning, as she sees the ship of Theseus going away. With black sails btw, because he didn't even think of Aegeus.

And there's Ariadne, crying, lamenting her fate and her own decisions. In the sources where she isn't rescued, she either hangs herself or dies in childbirth, which is absolutely disheartening to read about. She never lives a happy life in those.

But don't worry ! In most other tellings, Aphrodite and Eros know what to do !

Here comes Dionysus. He comforts her with soothing words, instantly smitten with her. After living in a toxic family and with a man that didn't love her, she finally finds love and a joyful entourage.

There's, however, the telling that Dionysus forces Theseus to abandon Ariadne (either by himself or through Athena). In this case, I get why some would be upset.

It's kind of possessive and she has less agency, but it's also proof that he cares about her and isn't a lazy inactive husband at all. So it's a negative that kind of makes Theseus innocent from this incident (though the rest of his love life is an absolute catastrophe).

But the divine couple still ends up happy, Araidne is hailed as a goddess and plays a role in the cult. Besides, it's Greek mythology, so a bit of weirdness and different moral standards should be expected.

This isn't perfectly fluffy or anything but still acceptable since the ending is the same.

Conclusion :

Dionysus x Ariadne supremacy, though I'm ready to take actual counterarguments into account.

At least those that are pulled from sources and not from a retelling like Saint's version.

(also, this works as an apology for procrastinating on the end of my "Dionysus' iceberg" essay. I'll work on that last part one day, promised !)

[bestanimal]

Round 3 - Mammalia - Perissodactyla

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

Perissodactyla is an order of ungulates, commonly referred to as the “odd-toed ungulates”. It is composed of three living families: Equidae (“horses”, “asses”, and “zebras”), Rhinocerotidae (“rhinoceroses”), and Tapiridae (“tapirs”).

Perissodactyls are typically defined by having reduced the 5 original ungulate toes to 3 or 1 weight-bearing toes, though tapirs retain four toes on their front feet. Equids, adapted for speed, are unique in having almost completely lost all of their toes, bearing weight on one single toe on each foot. Perissodactyls have a long upper jaw with an extended diastema (gap) between the front and cheek teeth, giving them an elongated head. They often have highly mobile lips for manipulating grass, leaves, and other plant parts. Perissodactyls are exclusively herbivores. Tapirs and equids have dense, short coats of fur, often with a mane of hair on the dorsal ridge of their neck, while rhinos have only sparse hair and thick skin. Perissodactyls inhabit a number of different habitats, leading to different lifestyles. Tapirs are solitary and live mainly in tropical rainforests in the Southern Hemisphere. African rhinos tend to live alone in dry savannas, while Asian rhinos live in wet marsh or forest areas. Equids inhabit open areas such as grasslands, steppes, or semi-deserts, and live together in groups.

Perissodactyls are characterized by a long gestation period and a small litter size, usually delivering a single calf (or “foal” in equids). Newborn perissodactyls are precocial, and are often able to stand and follow their mother after a few hours. Young are nursed for a relatively long time, often into their second year, with rhinos reaching sexual maturity around 8 or 10 years old, while equids and tapirs mature around 2 to 4 years old.

The tiny Radinskya from the Late Paleocene of East Asia is often considered to be one of the oldest close relatives of the ungulates, and was most similar to perissodactyls. Perissodactyla itself appeared at the beginning of the Lower Paleocene about 63 million years ago, both in North America and Asia, in the form of phenacodontids and hyopsodontids. The oldest known equid was Sifrhippus, from the Early Eocene. The ancestors of tapirs and rhinos, which may have included Hyrachyus, appeared not long after.

Propaganda under the cut:

The African Wild Ass (Equus africanus), ancestor of the Domestic Donkey (Equus africanus asinus), is critically endangered, with about 570 existing in the wild.

Domestic Donkeys were probably first domesticated by pastoral people in Nubia around 4000 BC, and they replaced the ox as the chief pack animal of that culture. The tomb of either King Narmer or King Hor-Aha (two of the first Egyptian pharaohs) was excavated and the skeletons of ten donkeys were found buried in a manner usually used with high ranking humans, showing that donkeys were likely very important in early Egyptian culture.

The Onager or Asiatic Wild Ass (Equus hemionus) (image 3) is one of the fastest land mammals, capable of running 64–70 km/h (40–43 mph).

The Kiang or Tibetan Wild Ass (Equus kiang) is the only wild perissodactyl to not be threatened in any way; their population is classified as “least concern.” Natural historian Chris Lavers points to travellers' tales of the Kiang as one source of inspiration for the unicorn, first described in Indika by the Ancient Greek physician Ctesias.

Asses were named before “ass” became a slang term for buttocks. In fact, the slang term was originally “arse,” a separate word from the animal “ass”, but the r was dropped in the 1860s, meaning both words have different linguistic origins.

The Domestic Horse (Equus ferus caballus) was domesticated from now extinct wild horses around 4000 BC, and their domestication is believed to have been widespread by 3000 BC. They were one of the first animals to be domesticated for transport purposes, though they were originally bred for meat. Today, there are more than 300 breeds of horse in the world, developed for specific tasks such as riding, pulling, driving, various sport disciplines, or simply as pets. Horse-keeping has led to a range of extensive, specialized vocabulary used to describe equine-related concepts, covering everything from anatomy to life stages, size, colors, markings, breeds, locomotion, and behavior.

The Przewalski's Horse (Equus ferus przewalskii) is the last remaining subspecies of truly wild horse, with other “wild horses” being introduced, feral populations of Domestic Horse. Przewalski’s Horses were already rare when first described, and were only found in the arid Dzungarian Basin of the Gobi Desert. By the 1900s, Przewalski's Horses were already declining, with only sporadic sightings of single horses or groups of 2-3 here and there, until a single stallion was sighted in 1969, and then none were seen in the wild again. Thankfully, some Przewalski’s Horses still existed in captivity, having been dispersed to various zoos in the US and Europe. Breeding programs were established and various facilities cooperated and exchanged horses to increase their genetic diversity. Unfortunately many of the horses did not survive WWII, and the most valuable group was actively shot by German soldiers in the Ukraine. By the end of the 1950s, only 12 Przewalski’s Horses were left in the world's zoos. The Przewalski’s Horse was declared “extinct in the wild”, with a slowly growing captive population being its last hope of survival. By 1965, there were more than 130 animals spread amongst 32 zoos and parks. By 1998, established herds of the horses were and still are released at various preserves and natural areas within Eurasia. In 2008, the Przewalski's Horse was reclassified from “extinct in the wild” to “critically endangered”, and in 2011 the wild horse went from “critically endangered” to “endangered”, having narrowly escaped extinction thanks to conservation efforts!

The Grévy's Zebra (Equus grevyi) is the largest living wild equid (some breeds of Domestic Horse are bred to be much larger), standing 1.45–1.6 m (4.8–5.2 ft) high at the withers.

Mountain Zebras (Equus zebra) live on slopes and plateaus as high as 2,000 m (6,600 ft) above sea level, and are thus the most adapted to cold weather of the zebras.

The Plains Zebra (Equus quagga) (image 2) is the most widespread of the 3 zebra species, but they are still threatened by hunting for their meat and hide, as well as competition with livestock and encroachment by farming on much of their habitat.

Perissodactyls were far more diverse in the past, and extinct groups contain some of the largest land mammals known to have ever existed. In particular, Paraceratheriidae is an extinct family of long-limbed, hornless rhinocerotoids from the Oligocene, with the largest species known being Paraceratherium linxiaense, which has an estimated mass of 21.7 metric tons (24 tons), an estimated length of 8 meters (26 feet), and an estimated height at the shoulder of 5 meters (16.4 ft). With its long neck, it would have towered even higher than a 4.6 m (15.1 ft) tall bull European Straight-tusked Elephant (Palaeoloxodon antiquus).

The endangered Malayan Tapir (Tapirus indicus) (image 4) is the only tapir species that exists outside of the Americas. They feature in the folklore of Japan, and are often associated with the mythological Baku, a supernatural creature said to devour nightmares. This association has led to the creation of the Pokémon Drowzee, Munna, and Munna’s evolution Musharna.

The endangered Baird's Tapir (Tapirus bairdii) is the largest native land mammal in both Central and South America, and the South American Tapir (Tapirus terrestris) is the largest native land mammal in the Amazon.

The endangered Mountain Tapir (Tapirus pinchaque) is the only tapir species to live outside of tropical rainforests in the wild. They are also unique for their thick woolly coat, an adaptation to the cooler climate of the Andean Mountain range.

There are two subspecies of White Rhinoceros: the Southern White Rhinoceros (Ceratotherium simum simum) and the Northern White Rhinoceros (Ceratotherium simum cottoni). The southern subspecies has a wild population of over 20,000, and is the most abundant rhino subspecies in the world, having been the only rhinos so far to have recovered from the brink of extinction. However, the northern subspecies is critically endangered, considered “functionally extinct”, as the only two remaining individuals are a mother-daughter pair, who are guarded day and night by armed keepers.

White Rhinoceroses are the largest living wild perissodactyls, with females weighing 1,600 kg (3,500 lb) and males 2,400 kg (5,300 lb) on average, though exceptional specimens can reportedly weigh up to 4,500 kg (9,900 lb). Their head-and-body length is 3.5–4.6 m (11–15 ft) and their shoulder height is 1.8–2 m (5.9–6.6 ft).

The critically endangered Black Rhinoceros (Diceros bicornis) (image 1 and gif) has a reputation for being aggressive, and they charge readily at perceived threats. Black Rhinos will also fight each other, and they have the highest rates of mortal combat recorded for any mammal: about 50% of males and 30% of females die from combat-related injuries.

The word "white" in the name "White Rhinoceros" is often said to be a misinterpretation of the Afrikaans word wyd (Dutch wijd) meaning wide, referring to its square upper lip, as opposed to the pointed or hooked lip of the Black Rhinoceros.

The vulnerable Indian Rhinoceros (Rhinoceros unicornis) is one of the motifs on the Pashupati seal and many terracotta figurines that were excavated at archaeological sites of the Indus Valley civilisation.

The critically endangered Javan Rhinoceros (Rhinoceros sondaicus) is the rarest of all rhinoceros, and among the rarest of all living animal species, with only one currently known wild population of approximately 74 animals, and no individuals successfully kept in captivity.

The critically endangered Sumatran Rhinoceros (Dicerorhinus sumatrensis) is the smallest species of rhinoceros, at just 112–145 cm (3.7-4.8 ft) high at the shoulder, with a head-and-body length of 2.36–3.18 m (7.9–10.5 ft). The weight is reported to range from 500–1,000 kg (1,100–2,200 lb), averaging 700–800 kg (1,540–1,760 lb).

Rhinoceroses are threatened by habitat loss, but illegal poaching for the international rhino horn trade is their main and most detrimental threat. Their horns, composed of keratin, are used to make ornately carved handles for ceremonial daggers called jambiyas in the Middle East, and are used in traditional Chinese medicine, where they are said by herbalists to be able to revive comatose patients, facilitate exorcisms and various methods of detoxification, and cure fevers. There is also a Chinese superstitious belief that the horns allow direct access to Heaven due to their unique location and hollow nature. A single horn can be sold for up to $300,000 on the black market. Rhinos are shot or trapped by poachers, after which the horn is hastily cut off and the rhinoceros is often left to bleed out and die. As rhino populations shrink and security on them tightens, poachers have gotten more desperate, leading to one shocking death in a zoo in France. Keepers at the Parc Zoologique de Thoiry arrived on March 5th, 2017, to find their beloved Southern White Rhinoceros, Vince, had been shot three times and had his horns sawed off with a chainsaw. Some reserves and even zoos now attempt to deter poaching by sawing off the horns of their rhinos (in a much more humane process than simply hacking it off at the skin) to make them less desirable to poachers.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

A glimpse into my twisted mind

Head under the cut for close-ups and notes for this whole process because hoo boy this musical sure has eaten my brain

So first things first, I'm gonna write out the notes I have at the top down here because they're pretty foundational for all my designs going forward.

Historical accuracy is not a priority here. The story is primarily a fantasy based on the aesthetics of Mycenaean and Hellenic Greece. If the time period is more nebulous the anachronisms are less distracting.

This is more personal preference than anything. I love a good historically accurate piece, but I think I would find it more frustrating than satisfying in this case. If literally everything was accurate to the best of our knowledge except for the dialogue... it would drive me nuts. Plus, it's a reinterpretation and a fantasy story. When I look at it I don't want to think "Oh that's The Odyssey", I want to think "Oh that's THIS version of The Odyssey"

Also, to be frank, I'm being lazy here. I want to draw about this musical for fun, and I want any research I do to be for fun too.

From what I understand, we get most of our modern-day "common knowledge" of Greek mythology based on stories from the Hellenic/Hellenistic (still not sure which one is right) period, especially from Roman influences. However, The Odyssey takes place in The Bronze Age, around 1200 B.C.E. The Mycenaean period is something like 1600-1100 B.C.E. There's a solid 500 year distance MINIMUM between the two time periods. Hopefully I can take references from both, put my own spin on it, and make something that clearly calls back to "Ancient Greece" while still obviously existing in a world far outside our reality.

Now for God's Favorite Punching Bag!

This is a weird process, because there isn't a "canon" look for any of the characters, but I still wanted there to be a somewhat instinctual knowledge from the EPIC audience that the guy I was drawing was probably Odysseus. So I started with some of my favorite interpretations that I've seen. These Odys are brought to you by:

@gigizetz

Neal Illustrator on YouTube

@wolfythewitch

VirusAP on YouTube

They feature some crucial differences in build, shape, and style, but there are some interesting similarities across all of them. All of them share a heavy brow, some kind of facial hair, a prominent nose, and a crooked smile (not pictured in these doodles but it's there trust me.)

After that was figuring out the outfit(s). I took a LOT of inspiration from the Hades games, because I think they embody the kind of look I'm going for. Clearly based in history, but not beholden to it. So I took the designs of some of the important mortals that show up (Odysseus, Achilles, Patroclus, and Theseus) and laid them out next to designs of Odysseus and Eurylochus by Neal Illustrator and Gigi. Then for fun I added in one of the few pieces of pottery art I could find that didn't have Odysseus bare-ass naked.

I really like having some kind of cloak or wrap around his shoulders and neck, and I like the leather arm guards that pop up in quite a few of these designs, so that's probably going to be fairly consistent. I also really like the circlet shown in the Neal Illustrator and Hades II designs, it's a nice reminder that he is actually a king. With all that established, we finally move to my actual designs.

The man himself! Mid-Polyphemus encounter. I think this is the point in the story where he's the most put together. He just did the most heinous thing he's ever done*, but he's finally finished. He has 600 men to set an example for, and they're finally going home. He's trying to project confidence. He's well-groomed, he's got his circlet, he's got his comrades, he's not feeling good, but no one else needs to know that.

*up until that point anyways...

This guy is somewhere just before the Poseidon Incident. His beard is fuller and a bit scraggly, his hair is a bit longer and kinda tangled (the wind does not help), and those eye bags are a touch deeper. Losing those 12-ish people to Polyphemus hit him hard, and losing Polites especially took a toll.

Three guesses of when this takes place and the first two don't count. Those 7 years on Ogygia... They're rough. Physically he's the safest he's been since he left Ithaca, but just having to sit with all the horrors he's done and seen, alone with someone who is impossible to really talk to, achingly close to home... Yeah it's bad. I always pictured this scene happening in the middle of a roiling storm, when he realizes what he's considering doing and he calls out for the last person he knows can still hear him. (Also a little bit of lightning in the back to show Zeus being the one to trap both Odysseus and Calypso here)

IMPORTANT NOTE:

My interpretation of this Calypso is that she's very much manipulative and overbearing, but she won't remove his autonomy. She will provide him with food, but won't make him eat it. This is crucial to this version of the story, because EPIC wants you to sympathize with Calypso at least a little bit. If she was more like her original counterpart I trust that it would have been called out explicitly by the text, so I'm operating under the impression that while she's not a good person, she is at least not so malicious or selfish that she would take away Odysseus' choice in anything. More on her when I get to designing her. Just wanted to make my thoughts extremely clear.

Flashback! Baby Odysseus! Basic setup, circlet, chiton, youthful determination, you know the deal. He's probably about 12 here, which is about the age I picture him doing the boar trial. It was fun trying to hint at the shapes he would grow into in his adulthood. And of course a little bit of Athena influence in the back there. I don't know if a barn owl makes sense geographically, but honestly I just wanted to draw a barn owl. They're cute.

*Insert electric guitar riff*

Maybe my favorite Ody to draw??? He still wears those 7 years on him, but he's trimmed his beard and gotten himself some new clothes, and he's feeling murderously vengeful. Good for him. This is specifically his beggar disguise. I gave him a traveling cloak and some extra cloth to really wrap himself up with. The more he can hide himself, the better. He wants to be invisible, and if someone was to see him he doesn't want them to see any body language. This is just after he shoots Antinous though so... Jig's up :)

[romeave]

the real reason why mcd zane sucks, from purely a writing standpoint, is that the writers really want him to be a pure evil villian. a force of evil that can not be reasoned with or stopped. absolutely nuance free and unsympathetic no matter how you slice and dice it.

which, would normally be fine, but is a weird choice for zane specifically because the writers keep naturally bringing up ways to give him depth, only to bend over backwards to shut it down once they remember zane is supposed to be cardboard flat for their kid audience to remember he's the bad guy.

and by all the time i do mean all the time. here is a list of roads blocked off by the no development tree that fell across the road:

Zane grew up isolated even by the standards of noble children, as heirs to the O'khasis throne start their training rather young, and, according to accounts about his childhood, Zane preferred to spend his free time alone as opposed to with family. At some point, his father contracted some illness that turns people into asshole tyrants, and began to groom a very impressionable Zane into a good and obedient pawn for him to control on his quest for world domination -> Zane was actually always evil from birth, which makes him immune to trauma. Garte's dickheadness actually only affected the "good" Ro'Meaves, and actually it's Zane's influence that turned Garte into a bad person. Even shit that Garte did long after Zane died are Zane's fault by proxy.

Zane's strained relationship with his brothers are also largely attributed to Zane being evil. Honestly there's a lot I could put here but the most damning one is probably the fact that Zane isn't allowed to talk about his upbringing at all after vaguely mentioning having a dead brother on the docks.

Zane's initially introduced as an ambitious young priest who came to power due to his commitment to his studies. He secretly uses taboo ancient magic that people can't exactly come across if they don't have an obsessive drive to learn about the divines beyond the church's teachings. -> Actually Zane stole everything from "real scholars" and never actually cared about his research outside of what power it could bring him. Apparently he can't even read for himself without a "real scholar" in the room.

Zane's most terrible deeds (Kiki's pendant, Alexis, Falconclaw) were committed in service of opening the Irene dimension. Its implied that some, if not all of the specific deeds needed to open the portal were decided long before Zane ever got his hands on the amulets. -> Each portal-opening crime is treated as its own separate crime, motivated purely by sadism. Falconclaw specifically is referred to as a "horrific mass slaughter Zane had a lot of fun committing", even though everyone involved just painlessly fell over dead

Zane only raises a sword to people to have actively betrayed him. Jeffory betrayed him, the Wolf Tribe was plotting to eat him the next time he showed up, and Garroth committed treason two seperate times and shoved his own sword in Zane's face before Zane tried to kill him about it -> Evidence that Zane is just a bloodthristy killer who would kill his comrades unprompted. His victims are not traitors, but martyrs to his unreasonable wrath

Zane possessed the protector's relic for a period of time. Surely he must've had some reason to hold it -> Zane was entirely undeserving of the relic. He only had it because blood relations.

Despite already having a relic, Zane wants to get Irene's relic -> Exclusively to hoard power! No personal reasons or family reasons or nerd reasons. Just an insanely dangerous and high stakes task done solely to have them all. Like its a pokemon with life steal.

Zane gets turned into a Shadow Knight. Zane used to have an absurd amount of knowledge on the Shadow Knights, lots of shadow knights hate his gay ass, becoming a Shadow Knight is usually pretty traumati--> Zane doesn't feel trauma, duh!! He's actually stronger than ever.

And I know I'm aphblr's foremost Zane dick rider but this isn't a Zane did nothing wrong post its just bad writing. Zane's actions affect so much of the plot its fucking bonkers to give him the depth of an evil sheet of printer paper. Aph's usually pretty good at fleshing out her villians I don't know why the one guy who everyone and their mother has a connection to is just a knife roomba of a man. At the bare minimum he should've been as fleshed out as his brothers because then it'd be a tragic tale about a family being torn apart by a system they benefit from instead of a karma-farming AITAH post set in medival times.

[maverick-werewolf]

Werewolf Fact #75 - Cynocephali (dog-headed men)

This month's folklore fact is a long-awaited one from over on the Patreon: the cynocephali or "dog-headed men."

Some depictions of cynocephali (the one above is from the Nuremberg Chronicle, 1493) are mistaken for werewolves fairly frequently; there are several differences of note, including but not limited to the fact that they are otherwise very, very human (normal hands and feet, no tail, etc) and that their ears are not always shaped like a wolf's/pointing directly upright. They often are, however, so don't take the ear shape as a surefire thing, either. When in doubt, make sure the depiction is actually meant to be showing a werewolf before using it for, I don't know, a royalty-free image in your werewolf publication (I've seen several). The cynocephali do not shapeshift, nor are they associated with wolves. They have nothing to do with werewolves. Yes, it was just a plot to make you click this link and read about cynocephali.

Cynocephali, or singular cynocephalus, is a term derived from the original Greek word "kynokephaloi," meaning "dog-headed." They have other names as well, which mean a range of things such as "dog-faced" and "half-dog." They were mentioned in assorted accounts and tales of travelers in Africa and India, appearing in sources as old as ancient Greece, and some similar beings can be found in other cultures, such as China. Likewise, depictions of and discussions of such beings continue into the Middle Ages. This same term was later used to refer to baboons, to which no-fun modern day scholars now attribute all cynocephali legends (although we do have at least one Ottoman depiction of a cynocephalus battling a monkey).

There are many quotes across various sources and time periods about these beings, including but not limited to this one from the fifth century BC Greek historian Herodotus, Histories 4. 191. 3 (trans. Godley) [source: Theoi]

"For the eastern region of Libya, which the Nomads inhabit, is low-lying and sandy as far as the Triton river; but the land west of this, where the farmers live, is exceedingly mountainous and wooded and full of wild beasts. In that country are the huge snakes and the lions, and the elephants and bears and asps, the horned asses, the Kunokephaloi (Cynocephali) (Dog-Headed) and the Headless Men that have their eyes in their chests, as the Libyans say, and the wild men and women, besides many other creatures not fabulous."

Some stories of the cynocephali are also frightfully specific as to how they live, rear livestock, grow fruit, weave baskets, wage war, and much more, even including details of their society, clothing, how long they live, etc. It's all quite interesting. If you'd like to read more specific quotations, you can find many on one of my favorite websites, Theoi.

Sources seem to dispute one another as to whether they bark, do not bark but only howl, only shriek, or whatever other sounds they may make, and there is also a range of descriptions including elements such as if they have beards and whether hair covers their bodies as well as the dog-head. Overall, probably the majority of sources say they wear the skins of animals as opposed to having fur, but there are those that also call them hairy all over.

Please note that I will not be covering/discussing any gods from ancient Egypt in this post, because despite what some modern day scholars like to discuss, I don't consider them "cynocephali." They were wolf-headed deities, not dog-headed (or even jackal-headed), and are overall only related to cynocephali legends by proxy and by modern scholars always putting everything into blasted categories for their next thesis. There were some dog-headed deities in ancient Egypt, and Anubis, Wepwawet, Duamutef, etc, were not among them, and even then, we can't really assert that the dog-headed deities among the ancient Egyptians are actually related to other legends and records of cynocephali.

With that out of the way, let's continue...

One of my personal favorite stories involving a dog-headed man is a version of the tale of Saint Christopher, though these depictions and this tale are not seen as canon by churches and has been proscribed in Eastern Orthodoxy (where such depictions were generally most common). Some of these depictions still survive, however. Some sources believe that Byzantine depictions of a dog-headed Christopher come from mistaking "Cananeus" (meaning "Canaanite") for "caninus," i.e. canine.

In the story about a dog-headed Saint Christopher, there lives Reprebrus (among other variations of his name; ultimately, they all essentially mean "reprobate"), who is captured by Romans in battle and made to serve among them. Reprebrus was said to be of "enormous size," with the head of a dog, said to be typical of his kind. He was later baptized and martyred. However, in another version (this one from Germany), Saint Christopher is depicted as a giant cynocephalus who ate human flesh and performed many atrocities. He meets the Christ child later and carries him across a river, as in tradition (the name Christopher means "bearer of Christ") and repents for his sinful behavior. He is baptized and becomes human, dedicating himself to serving Christianity and became a soldier saint.

There are far more fascinating details in the story than I relayed here in extreme simplicity, but that's a very simple view (the story is actually very specific about different regions and even the unit in which he served).

Other depictions of cynocephali exist in certain Christian traditions, with Ahrakas and Augani sometimes being depicted with dog heads in Coptic Christian tradition, in the life and legend of Saint Mercurius.

Bestiaries also got pretty wild with the creatures depicted therein, many of which were also mentioned in classical sources (such as the Herodotus quote earlier in this post). The image above is from between 1357 and 1371, in a work called The Voyage and Travels of Sir John Mandeville, or simply Mandeville's Travels, the memoirs of a man who traveled across the Middle East, India, and even as far as China. Medieval bestiaries also recorded all the same creatures shown here: a monopod or sciapod, a cyclops, a blemmy, and a cynocephalus, each different civilizations of beings said to dwell across the world (and often cited in multiple sources over considerable spans of time, which generally cite the same or similar regions for each civilization, which I've always found very interesting).

Mentions of the cynocephali span across centuries, such as in works by scribe Paul the Deacon, a Benedictine monk, and they are even mentioned in the Nowell Codex, a surviving Old English work containing Beowulf (as well as a work of the life of Saint Christopher and Wonders of the East, among others). They are also acknowledged in the works of multiple noteworthy explorers, including but not limited to Marco Polo, Christopher Columbus, Giovanni da Pian del Carpine, Ibn Battuta, and Piri Reis.

With that, I think that's a decent overview! Hope you enjoyed the post.

And stay tuned for news and updates on a major [werewolf/fantasy/adventure/horror/epic] book release later this year!

If you like my blog, be sure to follow me here and elsewhere for much more folklore and fiction, including books, especially on werewolves! You can also sign up for my free newsletter for monthly werewolf/vampire/folklore facts, a free story, book previews, and my other sundry projects and works, such as plushes.

Free Newsletter - maverickwerewolf.com (personal site + book shop + free fiction)  — Patreon — Wulfgard — Werewolf Fact Masterlist — X — Vampire Fact Masterlist — Amazon Author page

[rosietrace]

This is a personal rant about my thoughts on Greek mythology retellings, and just the way Fantasy books and the publishing industry is at this point 🧍‍♀️

I have nothing against Greek mythology retellings, or just anything Greek mythology related in fantasy in general!

However, I have certain gripes about the way Greek mythology is portrayed in media, specifically in the way its interpreted in Fantasy.

[ More under the cut! ]

I love Percy Jackson, and I think that Uncle Rick did a wonderful job at expanding the world and making Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and Norse mythology entertaining and easily digestible for young audiences. Genuinely, he does a better job at writing children's books than R*wling could ever be capable of.

However, as much as I can love PJO as much as I do, I still find certain bits of the world building and character writing as... Very hit and miss.

To start, I don't like the way Ares was written in the series. I can understand that it would make sense for his personality to be that way, because he's the God of War and it helps with Clarisse's character development; but I find fault in it because Ares in the myths is nothing like PJO Ares. (He literally killed one of Poseidon's sons because he raped his daughter, Alcippe, and he's one of the only gods who doesn't hump anything that can breathe in air. At least Ares has the courtesy of asking for consent 💀)

The Gods being the reason behind WWII and Hitler being a child of Hades. All I must say.

The portrayal of the Aphrodite cabin

The fact that Athena can have children. Annabeth, pjo fandom at large, I love you are, but you gotta admit it must've felt weird when you first read the books and you find out Athena — the maiden Goddess of Wisdom — can have offspring. Regardless of the reasoning, I still find it weird 😭 (EDIT: I've now just remembered that it was a reference to how Athena herself was created 🤡 I'm a clown)

I get that the Hermes cabin is also the cabin for the unclaimed, but couldn't have Hestia's cabin worked too? She doesn't have offspring, sure, but it probably would've made more sense for the unclaimed to go to Hestia's cabin so that the Hermes cabin wouldn't be so crowded

This isn't really a world building issue, but I think I should bring it up: I'm not saying this against the Kane Chronicles fandom, but... Sadie and Anubis. Why. Like you can't convince me that no one WASN'T weirded out by that.

Less of a complaint and more of a question because I can't remember if the question was answered in HoO or not, but when Percy told the Gods to start claiming their unclaimed children and be more decent parents (as he should, go off king), did that request apply to the Romans at Camp Jupiter too? Because that's gotta have been confusing when the unclaimed kids at CP suddenly started getting claimed 😭😭

I could go on a whole ass tangent about PJO, but that would make this post longer than it needs to be 😭😭 and any of the points might not make much sense, since I haven't read the books in a LONG time

Off to the YA Fantasy segment... Hoo boy.

The oversaturation of Hades/Persephone retellings makes me SEETHE. Why is it always Hades and Persephone why can't it be something else 😭

I just don't like the “modern feminist” retellings of Greek myths in the YA Fantasy genre, in general. They tend to completely miss the point of the original myth, and it's the case with a lot of Hades and Persephone retellings where they try to paint Hades as the good guy taking Persephone away from her control freak mother, Demeter.

Because that wasn't what the myth was about. The myth isn't a love story, at least, not a romantic one. It was about Demeter's love for Persephone and how much she wanted her daughter back after Hades stole her away. Keep in mind, in the historical context of the myth, the daughters of women in ancient Greece never really get to see their mothers after their engagements are solidified.

If they wanted to make a “feminist” retelling of the myth, they'd have it centered around the love Demeter had for Persephone to almost doom the mortal realm to an eternal winter to get her back.

I love the myth of Hades and Persephone, truly, I do. I understand the appeal it has on people, the appeal it has one me. I can see why people adore the myth in the way they do because Hades is one of the better husbands in Greek mythology (a low bar, but my point still stands).

Personally, I blame Lore Olympus and especially the video of the myth by Overly Sarcastic Productions for the way the myth is portrayed in mass media. And I say this as a former LO fan and a fan of Overly Sarcastic Productions 😭

I'd also want to go into my many, MANY gripes about “Crown of Starlight” by Cait Corrain, but in all honesty? I don't think I can properly convey how much I DESPISE Cait and their book. So I'd highly recommend y'all to check out the videos about Cait Corrain by Reads With Rachel, WithCindy, and Xiran Jay Zhao on YouTube if you're interested in going into more detail about the controversies, especially for those who weren't made aware of it.

I feel like the publishing industry just... Isn't good anymore, after Booktok went viral. Reading has been “hot girlified”, and all Booktok seems to ask when they get recommended a book is: “Is it spicy??”

Reading is like fast fashion, now. It's all based around certain popular tropes that that's how books are promoted now. Not for the plot — or sometimes lack thereof — but for the tropes the book has.

The only thing I can thank Booktok for is that they helped me discover The Cruel Prince. And even then, it's marketed as romance on there, when it's a political fantasy with a romance subplot.

‼️ Woah! A secret bonus section! ‼️

I, personally, don't read — nor do I like — Sarah J Maas. (Especially considering the problematic aspects of her storytelling, character portrayals, and is (apparently, correct me if I'm wrong) a Zionist)

However, that isn't to say that I don't like some of the characters she makes. A lot of them have potential, actually! From what I've seen, I think Nesta, Gwyn, Azriel, Eris, Tamlin and Lucien from ACOTAR are the only characters I actually like, based on what I've heard — and seen — on anything in the SJM critical tag on this hellsite.

And while we're at it, let's discuss the elephant in the room with ACOTAR, right? Rhysand.

By all that is good and holy, I hate Rhysand so much and I think I'd hate him even more if I actually READ the books. I don't get why Booktok is so invested in him when Maas retconned Tamlin's character to make him look better as Feyre's love interest.

Also, from what I recall, didn't Rhysand sexually assault Feyre? And he didn't bother to apologize for it, and justified it with his sad tragic backstory??

I can't with y'all, istg 😭 the fact that “Feysand” is apparently a Hades and Persephone retelling too makes me even more mad about it because it isn't even a GOOD retelling. It just takes away what ACOTAR originally was— a Beauty and the Beast retelling, with Feyre and Tamlin as the leads.

Didn't Maas dedicate ACOTAR to her husband because “He would go under the mountain” for her??? BECAUSE IT CERTAINLY WASN'T RHYSAND WHO SAVED FEYRE FROM UTM, I'LL TELL YOU THAT

I think, out of all the series Maas has made thus far, Throne of Glass is the only one I ACTUALLY kind of like, based on what I've heard. Crescent City seems to be too complicated to understand, and even though I've never read it myself, I miss what ACOTAR could've been. (My hope lies with Nesta, Elucien and Gwynriel, at this point)

[emperor-forneus]

woke up and Immediately chose to be a yapper again. i was thinking about delta and remembered something from the q&a sections in the manga, which i think might also be lesser known delta info??

upon reading this the first time i was ready to give myself an ass whooping because even though i'm a samulnori enjoyer i completely missed the reference delta's launch was making. i genuinely thought he was just being a bit of a clown. shame on my whole family /j

what is samulnori though? samulnori is a type of traditional korean music involving four types of drums:

janggu (장구) - mimics the sound of rain

buk (북) - mimics the sound of clouds (?)

jing (징)- mimics the sound of wind

kkwaenggwari (꽹과리) - mimics the sound of thunder

as a whole, everything together mimics the sound of a storm. it's a modern adaptation of ancient ritual music koreans would perform during holidays, but it was probably used to tackle periods of drought in agriculture as well. alongside the music comes traditional dances too (sogo dance, or "drum dance"). i'll only dive into the move delta's launch is referencing - 자반뒤집기 (ji-ban-dwi-jib-gi, roughly translates to tossing/writhing in pain. as a verb it can also be used to say "to change one's thoughts or actions in an opposite direction")

"수백, 수천 번을 연습해야 좋은 소리와 몸짓이 나온다."

"it takes hundreds, thousands of hours of practice to truly master the move and sounds." and this sounds pretty accurate for delta's experience too, since it took him 3001 attempts to perfect this launch. the kkwaenggwari players, which represent thunder as mentioned previously, are the ones performing the move and they're usually the main highlight of the entire performance.

i believe oh jin koo did this reference as a funny jab because the name of delta's best friend is quite literally drum, but there's also some other layers to it. the performer (delta) and the drum (drum/dante) - they go hand in hand. the show cannot be if either of them isn't present. the meanings behind the name of the move itself are also things delta goes through in the show. he does writhe in pain while trying to be "the brightest star in the sky", while trying to satiate diabolos' endless hunger. and in the end his mindset does change into the opposite direction, this time for the better

in summary: the way the animation studio was cooking with this is not to be underestimated

[homunculus-argument]

Hey i have a question

I see that you are Finnish probably? One of my mutuals has a question about a Finnish phrase that translated literally as "i will read you into a lake" or something similar, but I could not find mentions of this phrase online (they are looking for a particular post). Can you please tell me what it would be in Finnish? Google translate isnt of much help...

Could it perhaps have been "I will sing you into a swamp"? Laulan sinut suohon. Because that is a reference to old finnish folklore. Many old finnish spells, curses and blessings were written down as poetry, but were recited by singing instead of just speaking, in a handful of very specific song forms. Epic poetry and stories were usually also sung, making the tales easier to remember and recite.

While the collection process and end result of the epic poem Kalevala is Problematic™ in ways that I won't bother to go into (I will just get my ass chewed if I don't go out of my way to aknowledge that), the tale features a scene early on in the beginning, where the great wizard demigod Väinämöinen meets a youth named Joukahainen on a narrow road, and neither of them is willing to move out of the way so the other could go first.

It turns out that Joukahainen had been looking for Väinämöinen for some time in order to challenge him in a battle of powers, but he was already down to fight this old man before figuring out that this is actually the demigod he was looking for to begin with. They begin a battle through song-magic, in which Väinämöinen sings Joukahainen's horse into stone, and Joukahainen himself into a swamp.

While the story itself gets pretty grim pretty soon after that, I want to point out how comical this whole scene is, though it's never depicted that way. Imagine walking in on an epic wizard rap battle between an ancient demigod wizard who is literally older than the universe as we know it, and a 15-year-old boy. Ancient powers are commanded through song to reshape the foundations of the Earth over a traffic issue that could have been resolved in 5 seconds, but neither of them is willing to be the bigger person about this.

This conflict escalates to the point where people die over it.

[adozowa]

CHAPTER 1 EP 2

Taken place in alubarna.

M!READER

( 1 )

|| 2/? || swearing, violent themes ||

|| READER IS BEING MISTAKEN FOR A WOMAN ||

The reader is depicted to have long white hair, for better understanding -Read this

It felt like you were walking in circles, it was exhausting. As you walk everywhere you go, sand. IS THAT A BUILDING? Yes, but it's made out of sand.

It felt like YOU were gonna turn into sand if you spend another hot minute in this desert. It's been a few nights, yes.... But no treasure... No food... No water... And only 4 arrows.

As you were walking, more like dragging yourself you had felt the ground shake. More like a rumble? Were the Titans attacking? No, rushed with all your leftover energy to where the movement was felt. And there was some big ass city that was supported by the ground below so it was a bit high.... So it is the rumbling??

Okay I'll stop with aot references

"Huh....? Weird. Looks like a -stampede of some sorts. Odd, why there though... "

You thought

With one push of your leg to boost ya, you ran in the direction of the city swiftly. Looking at the city, you thought

"Long ass stairs. . ."

"HEY! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TRESSPA- NNGH!"

You shot at the guard's chest using your bow, aiming for the critical hit.

"Quickdraw~"

The stampede of people seemed to get closer, so you went up the city pushing aside the probably now dead guard and into the streets without bumping into anybody.

"Is that... Straw hat? Didn't I kill him... No matter, he's getting strangled right now."

You didn't know whether to save him or go on your merry way with stolen acquired goods. Your curse spirit wanted to follow the goods, but your heart said another.

".... He looks dehydrated. "

(For better understanding, here's pic of the scene.)

Croco, don't hold your son like that.

".... Oh shit-"

You had rushed to get him cause.... Some random person dropped him off and he started falling like a piece of paper, you positioned yourself under him until water fell on him? So much was happening you couldn't focus at ALL.

"Annnnnnnd.....- Gotcha. Wow, you're still alive? Well it looks like you're barely alive."

"WOAAH! It's you! That one girl that shot me!"

"Why do you say that with such casualty, and.. "

"I'M NOT A WOMAN."

"Really? You look like one, and sound like one!"

"YOU- ghrr... I assume you have a fight to continue so, get out of my arms."

"COOL! can you launch me u- whoAAAAHHHH!! "

You shot him up in the air so high it looked like he was gonna become the chosen one, gomen amanai guys. HOLLOW PURPLE

Welp, you snuck yourself off again avoiding being stomped over by the group of "rebels" if that is what they are called.

Ya walked off with the not so good goods you stole while the fight was happening, kinda hoping to see a city that isn't made out of sand, and is stable with our any fights.

A few minutes go by and there's this building of some sorts? Looks ancient.

Drawings.... Drawings... More drawings? You entered the temple exploring a bit hoping to find treasure, but there was nothing. You went back outside sighing but something changed, a trap door opened?

"I don't recall this here... And, someone followed? Shit. "

"Sniff not just someone, there's more. "

You used your amazing super duper cool sigma fox senses you claimed from the spirit, and sensed 2 to 3 people to be exact. Their scents are strong, but kinda good smelling.

You manoeuvred your way into the opened way and became as quiet as possible, as if you were the shadows itself. You heard sets of footsteps, taking off your shoes, you carefully followed the noise not getting too close.

A woman's voice? And a man's..? No, men's voices, there were 2 men and a woman. That sounds scary if you put it like that without any context.

You heard the woman speak about history you guessed, looking from the wall you were hiding in. You were right, but one of the men was tied up. Probably a hostage..

A cube with weird writings, looked familiar for a second but then it blurred out of your mind. Hm

"Wait-"

Shit, did he know? How the hell did he know.... He looks strong, so probably a Haki user you thought.

"This is just the kingdom's history, not what I need."

Phew- guess you overreacted. Your mind was clouded with thoughts on how to escape, how to steal, and how to-!?

You heard a stab, finally gaining focus again. He had stabbed the woman, typical men ://j

"..... Oh. "

The building had started to... Collapse?

"shit...."

"GOMU GOMU NO--"

"..shit again."

You had heard the strawhat's familiar voice, but... You don't really remember a fruit with a saying like that.... Hm.

He had launched the unknown dude straight up into the top of the temple breaking it, you planned to leave but you just couldn't leave the woman here now... But you couldn't leave the other man tied too... Shit.

You went back up into the hole straw hat made. Making the decision to grab the woman instead, she was pretty you could give her that.

"Up we go.. "

"Ngh- who are you... "

The woman grunted in pain.

"I'm here to save you, woman. "

"It's Robin -gh... "

"You shouldn't talk too much, you were... Well, impaled. "

Robin looked up at you, eyes full of pain and distrust. She replied with a nod as you finally landed on the ground.

You had started patching her up carefully trying not to hurt her furthermore, you had a bandage roll with you for emergencies and whew- you were glad you had it.

"..... Why are you doing this.. "

"Doing.... What exactly? "

You replied still bandaging her torso carefully

"-Helping me, a stranger out... I could easily betray you, yet you choose to help.. Me? "

"Yes. Now I'm done, I'm not so sure if you can still stand up and walk- "

She stood up, her posture a bit off though

"oh. Guess you can stand up. "

"...."

"Do you have any gold on you, perchance?"

You asked with your brow cocked up and a smirk.. ',:)

She then pulled out a golden chalice from her coat and you snatched that shit IMMEDIATELY, of course your greed- still was there.

"Finally, some good loot.. Anyways you should be on your merry way now, so I'm just gonna...leave you here. "

"W-wait! Your... Name.. "

You had already disappeared, your shadow running in the distance holding the chalice up in the air happily

"yayayayayayayayaaya... "

She could hear your voice fading away as your figure disappeared into the sandy fog

...

Owh, it felt like it had been HOURS since you were finding your boat. It's not like you easily get lost, it's just... You have a bad memory.

"Where in the living shit is it.. "

You had groaned the heat melting your skin, making it glisten a little. You looked like a beauty under this heat if you ask me hegehuagahahauh..

STRAWHATS POV

"...hey luffy, you still haven't told us about that weird lady that supposedly... Shot you. "

Nami suddenly asked out of the blue as they were traveling back to their ship, suddenly remembering.

"OH YESSS!! ♡ I REMEMBER HER SWEET SMILE AND SCOWL!! I LOVE A DEFYING WOMAN WHO TREATS ME LIKE DIRRTTT~~~"

sanji rambled, but the crew is used to his usual antics when it comes to women... Man who will tell him you're not a big booty lady but a big booty man??

"... Oh I don't know! But he-... Er.... She-?... Meat??"

"That's way out of the topic, luffy.. "

Usopp replied to his captain's confusion..

"Whatever! But heshemeat helped me!! "

That gained a smack from nami..

"....hey wait isn't that hesheme-... That person over there again!"

He pointed at your figure in the distance.

"Oh it is..!"

Chopper recognizes your scent and smell and confirms his captain's statement.

"GOMU GOMU NO--!!!! "

Luffy shouted.

"LUFFY NO-!!!

The crew shouted, knowing he was gonna slingshot to your body happy to see ya again!

END OF STRAWHAT'S POV

You had heard a shout from the distance, were you hallucinating again.. Your vision started blurring a bit. But you made out a figure supposedly launching at you ..

"Kaito..? Is that you-"

"SLINGSHOOTTTT!! "

THUD!

"hhuh-.. WH- WHAT THE! "

You exclaimed at a certain straw hat on top of you, staring right into your eyes with pure happiness and mischief

"HI AGAIN!! "

He boasted out with a shit eating smile on his face, how could anyone smile that wide? It made you wonder.

"At least start with saying your name, straw hat.. "

You replied with a deadpan voice

"OH! IT'S LUFFY! And you? "

"It's.. I can't tell you that. "

"HUH? Why not!!! "

"Because it's... Top secret, alright? So just call me... Erm.... Greed. "

"Weird nickname, But okay!! "

"Also... CAN YOU GET OFF ME! "

"Whoops! Sorry! shishishishi-!"

That was by far one for the most out of pocket conversation you have ever had, or it's just strawha- er.. Luffy's aura that puts you off, it's so.... Free.

Huh... Free... The word doesn't sound right coming from you, maybe it's because you sold your body to basically the sin of greed but... It's alright! It's not like it can control you.. Right..

You zoned out at the thought, but what you didn't realize was luffy dragging you back to his crew.

"hmmm... Wh- WHA HEY!! "

you grabbed onto his shoulders tightly, you were piggybacked onto him as he used his free arm that wasn't supporting your ass weight.

"GOMU GOMU NO--

"NOT AGAIN!!"

He had shot both of your bodies where the crew was, ultimately he face planted into a nearby rock. While you got off his sweaty body and dusted yourself off..

His crew was staring at you with sweatdrops at your face, Usopp looked scared as shit with that big ass bow on your back,

Nami was about to punch luffy so far he could probably find the one piece that way

Chopper was hiding behind zoro,

Zoro was just looking at you with a deadpan expression, scanning your body for any threats

While sanji was having a nosebleed and his signature heart eyes.

"erghh... Greeting.. "

You cleared your throat at the awkward silence, until..

"MELLORINE!!! YOUR SUCH A BEAUTY IN THE SUNLIGHT MY DEAR!!~ A GLISTENING FLOWER IN THE SUNLIGHT~~ MAY I ASK WHAT IS YOUR NAME~~! ♡♡♡♡♡♡"

"Stop being a manwhore, love machine goblin good-for-nothing-cook."

"WHAT'D YOU SAY PALM TREE LOOKING ASS! "

Luffy got off the rock while nami scolded him, while sanji and zoro were bickering on the way to the ship and nami scolding luffy.. It was you and a... Weird animal?

You both stared at each other for a while, your expression deadly. Oh if looks could kill, yours would cause a massacre.

The small animal was sweating and shaking in fear, a shadow casted over your face as you crouched down to level with him. He jumped back in fear inching away a bit.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

Oh my SIGMA you said that in the most soothing tone ever, it was calm and gentle. But with firm affirmation, like a true promise.

"What is your name, reindeer?"

You got his animal right, not racoon, not racoon dog, not deer, not sogged up stray with weird antlers. You knew his animal... Reindeer.

He soothed down a bit and inched close to you a bit without saying a word and latched onto your lower leg, nuzzling his face in your knee.

"..."

You were about to die then and there from cuteness.

You enjoyed the moment for a bit until..

"OH MY DEAR!! ~~ YOUR VOICE IS SO SOOTHING!! "

Uh oh.

Sigma🤑

[lagunapoint]

Veilguard is nice. Cool interactions, great romances, excellent graphics, excellent combat. I love flashy slashers, so it worked for me. But wraps up in a blanket of sadness at some point, it becomes clear that I kind of like it, but the little elf Inquisitor inside me misses Inquisition, which was completely forgotten in this new part :( I don’t miss the circles and the templars, I miss the little details that built the atmosphere. I’m not saying they should’ve made Inquisition 2. I like the new story, but it would’ve been great to find more little details and Easter eggs. Yeah, it was cool to find the note about Gordon Blackwall. Why didn’t they add more things like that? For a new player, it’s new info and world expansion, and for us, it’s just nice.

But the reason for my post is that yesterday, I got blown away by this fresco.

Here’s Trespasser, the conclave, the rebellion, the ancient elves, Solas, the qunari, the wolf, magister Alexius (?????), the creation of the breach why am I whining if it’s right here- Inquisition? But you know where this fresco was? In the ass of Minrathous. I’m not sure many people would have the patience to get through that quest to this fresco. And if they do, it’s super easy to miss, just by flicking the camera too fast, because this fresco is BEHIND A DOOR hahaha, and because it’s dark! Anyway, because of this drawing, I’ve been whining all morning and floating around like a storm cloud above my keyboard.

So. We’ve got the qunari next to Solas, but there’s not even a hint of the Inqui. I don’t know, maybe the second qunari is supposed to be the Inquisitor? What a load of crap. Okay. How do you draw the Inqui here if everyone’s is different? Just add the Anchor? Didn’t we have enough Anchor symbolism in Inquisition? Where is the Inquisitor? Why add such an important moment (SOLAVELLANS, I’M HORRIFIED) and not include the Inqui?

And now let’s play riddles. Up top there are pieces of frescoes from the Skyhold rotunda. First there’s the tevinter magister from the third fresco of Solas, which appears after choosing the Templars or the mages. If you choose the mages, Solas paints two versions of the future, and at the center is a magister - Alexius, since he’s a key figure in that storyline. And now this magister is painted on the wall of the Minrathous. Is it the same magister? Alexius? Why is he here :( Or has this image now become a generalized representation of 'bad magisters'? Either way, there are even some long-forgotten magister, but no details that would hint at the key character - the Inquisitor. Was this really not that important all this time? 🥲  A reference to the temple of mythal and part of the fresco about the explosion at the conclave, the creation of the breach, and the wolf, black, with no white elements, as part of the conclave fresco. The absence of the second wolf on the right - it’s just empty lore imao It’s probably unlikely, but could this drawing here be meaningless? Maybe someone just added elements they liked? It reminds me of a podcast where the words of Solas and Elio’s ritual were the lyrics to the song 'I Am The One,' which played during the sex scenes in Origins. I didn’t know whether to laugh or focus.

In general I’m satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time. Can someone share their thoughts on this drawing with me, please? Or on all of this eh? <3

The frescos from Skyhold