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glowettee · 6 months ago

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💌 glowettee hotline: issue #001: navigating cliquey vibes: finding your light in chilly uni halls

(some text blocked in favor of anon's privacy reasons <3)

welcome to the very first edition of glowettee hotline, where we fix your study slumps, productivity spirals, and it-girl dilemmas with a mix of soft discipline, coquette motivation, and glowettee philosophies.

i’ve been obsessed with the idea of creating a space where we can romanticize self-improvement, push ourselves academically, and embrace that girl energy, without the burnout. and after receiving 17 (!!) submissions already, i know we’re onto something magical. love you all <3 - mindy

hi darling, hope you're having a lovely, wonderful day!!

i'm so excited you reached out with your q today, because i literally know how challenging it can be to feel adrift in a sea of cliquey vibes at uni. it really sucks when you're surrounded by friendly faces in one circle but then find yourself in classes where almost everyone else seems distant, unwelcoming, or even downright snobby. i totally understand the weight of feeling unsupported especially during group work or oral presentations. so, let’s chat through some super detailed strategies to help you not only survive but thrive rn in these tricky social settings.

navigating cliquey vibes: finding your light in chilly uni halls

by mindy @glowettee (glowettee hotline, submit here for personal advice: https://bit.ly/glowetteehotline)

⋆. 𐙚 ˚appreciating your core circle & celebrating your uniqueness⋆. 𐙚 ˚

firstly, your core friend group is such a precious gem. remember, having a close-knit set of people who know and love you is more important than being universally liked. here’s how to make the most of your supportive tribe:

• before tough classes or presentations, lean on your close friends. even a quick pep talk or a smile exchanged across the room can boost your confidence. • use your circle as a sounding board for your ideas. they can help you rehearse presentations or give you tips on how to navigate group assignments. • celebrate your wins together. even if it’s after a brilliant group discussion or just overcoming a day that felt isolating, take some time to share those moments. • remind yourself daily that your worth is not determined by the acceptance of everyone around you. you are a unique, clever individual radiating positivity. never forget that.

2. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚turning group projects into a positive challenge⋆. 𐙚 ˚

group assignments can be super intimidating when you’re unsure whom you can rely on. but think about it as an opportunity to discover parts of yourself you might not have met otherwise. here are some practical steps for navigating group work:

• start by introducing yourself warmly. a simple "hi, i’m [your name]—i'm excited to work with you all" can set a friendly tone. • initiate a casual group chat or a quick get-to-know-you meet-up before diving into the work. suggest grabbing coffee or even meeting in a quiet corner of the campus to chat. • assign roles based on everyone's strengths. this not only clarifies who is doing what but also gives everyone a chance to feel valued. propose clearly defined tasks by asking, "what part do you really love doing?" or "which part feels natural to you?" • if some group members remain distant or rude, focus on collaborating with those who are engaged. sometimes, it’s okay if one or two people are enthusiastic. quality over quantity. • always have a backup plan for situations when group dynamics falter. perhaps create a personal outline for the project and set aside time to rework any loose ends. this helps you retain control over your part of the assignment, even if others aren’t as invested.

3. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚building personal resilience and managing class anxiety⋆. 𐙚 ˚

feeling out of place in classes where few familiar faces exist is completely normal, but there are some really neat ways to boost personal resilience. i like to think of these techniques as little self-care rituals that build your inner strength:

• start your morning or class prep with affirmations. say something like "i am enough" or "i belong here" as you look in the mirror. these affirmations can be surprisingly powerful. • cultivate a mindfulness practice. even just five minutes of deep breathing before class can help center your energy. use mindfulness apps or even a simple timer to guide you through a quick meditation. • keep a journal of small victories. jot down every little win, like speaking up in class or even smiling through a challenging presentation. these notes become a lovely reminder of how far you’ve come. • set up a pre-class ritual that calms your nerves. even if it’s listening to your favorite song, enjoying a cup of herbal tea, or just giving yourself a gentle pep talk, these rituals let you enter class with a positive mindset. • acknowledge that it’s okay to feel anxious. instead of trying to push the feeling away, wrap yourself in understanding and self-love. after all, every uni student feels the pressure sometimes.

4. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚creating meaningful connections beyond your immediate classes⋆. 𐙚 ˚

even if certain classes feel socially isolated, there are countless ways to build community on campus. sometimes, the most unexpected connections can blossom into the most sincere friendships. consider these avenues:

• join uni clubs, societies, or interest groups that resonate with your passion. it can be a creative club, a study group, or a casual meetup for a shared hobby, these environments tend to be super welcoming. • attend campus events, workshops, or talks. these can be fantastic settings for meeting people outside the rigid structure of classroom interactions. it's a chance to meet someone who shares your vibe and interests. • volunteer for student-led initiatives. taking part in projects or community service can show you a side of your peers that you wouldn't normally see in a lecture hall. • look into mentoring programs or campus counseling services. many unis offer support that not only helps with academic stress but also with social challenges. sometimes, sharing your struggles with someone who understands can be incredibly reassuring. • consider creating a little interest group of your own if you notice others who feel similarly isolated. even a small, informal study or discussion group can help you forge lasting bonds.

5. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚reframing challenges into growth experiences⋆. 𐙚 ˚

it’s natural to feel disheartened when you face exclusion or cold responses. but often, these challenges are little nudges guiding you to develop a thicker skin and a stronger sense of self. try out these reframing ideas:

• view each uncomfortable encounter as a step towards personal growth. every time you overcome social hurdles, you’re building resilience and learning more about yourself. • remember that some people’s unfriendliness is more about their own insecurities than any shortcomings on your part. their behavior says more about them than it does about you. • channel any negative energy you encounter into creative or academic pursuits. write down your thoughts, doodle your feelings, or even consider a blog post about your journey. creativity is a wonderful way to turn pain into something beautiful. • celebrate your uniqueness. the qualities that set you apart are what make you valuable. sometimes, it’s exactly those differences that will eventually attract the right people into your life. • let every difficult experience remind you of the person you are becoming. each challenge faced is a victory in building your inner power and empathy.

6. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚personal rituals that keep you grounded⋆. 𐙚 ˚

i believe in creating a few personal rituals to help navigate the ups and downs of uni life. these little practices can serve as anchors on days when everything feels overwhelming:

• before class, take a quiet moment to enjoy a comforting cup of coffee or tea. let that be a moment just for you, a time to gather your thoughts and breathe. • keep a small token or journal with you. it could be a piece of jewelry, a lucky charm, or even a handwritten note that reminds you of your intrinsic worth. whenever you feel isolated, hold that token and feel the support it symbolizes. • make a mini “positivity checklist” for turbulent days: 1. take three deep breaths. 2. text or call a friend from your trusted circle. 3. quickly jot down one thing you’re proud of from the day. 4. give yourself a moment to reflect on a past success. • if ever the weight of anxiety feels too heavy, try a quick self-soothing exercise like stretching or taking a brisk walk between classes. little bursts of movement can reset your mind. • remind yourself that self-care isn’t selfish! it’s essential. investing time in nurturing your well-being pays off in your academic life and beyond.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆final thoughts & encouragement⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

i know how overwhelming it can feel rn when every class and group project seems to amplify your insecurities. but darling, every challenge is also a lesson in disguise. use these moments as opportunities to cultivate your strengths, build resilience, and discover new facets of yourself. your uni journey is uniquely yours, sprinkled with little moments of growth, learning, and even unexpected joy. sometimes, the journey might seem rocky, but every bump is teaching you how to rise a little higher each time.

remember, you are not alone. even in moments where you feel isolated, your inner strength and your supportive circle are there to hold you up. take these strategies at your own pace, experiment with what feels right for you and make adjustments as needed. your story is still unfolding, and every challenge you overcome adds another beautiful chapter.

sending you the biggest virtual hug and all the good vibes!! keep shining in your own unique way and know that these hurdles are just stepping stones to an even brighter future. i hope these detailed tips bring you some comfort and clarity, and if you ever need to chat or dive into more ideas, feel free to send more asks!! remember to take care of yourself and keep believing in your incredible journey!!

and that’s a wrap on glowettee hotline: issue #1. i am so obsessed with this already, and i can’t wait to dive into more of your guys' questions.

if today’s advice helped, let me know in the replies/reblogs: what’s one habit you’re changing after reading this? let’s romanticize self-discipline together. ✨

and if you have your own it-girl dilemmas—submit them here: https://bit.ly/glowetteehotline

(psst, i read every single one. 💌)

stay soft, stay productive, & stay glowing. 🌷 – glowettee

xoxo, mindy 🤍

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silyabeeodess · 29 days ago

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Kuroshitsuji Analysis: Thoughts on How the Latest Bizarre Dolls Function

It's been an eternity since I've kept up with the series, and this is mostly just an assortment of ideas that have popped up in my head lately, so take from them what you will: There's just something that's been bothering me with the latest "evolution" of bizarre dolls as we've seen them in the series.

Just to recap for those who follow me who haven't touched this series in a while either, back in the Public School Arc, we learned that the Bizarre Dolls were running on episodes in addition to the edits made to their cinematic records. This change essentially created "memories" of future events that allowed them to act in a closer fashion similar to the living depending on the quality and quantity of said episodes. Their new purpose, besides seeking out a replacement for their missing souls, becomes their longing for a future. By the time we get to the events of Blue Sphere Music Hall, they've evolved further through blood transfusions. On one hand, the blood transfusions seem to affect them mostly just physically: Because their circulatory systems don't work properly, they need a steady supply of fresh blood in a similar way to a toy running on batteries. On the other hand, we have incidents such as the events at F.O.L. Orphanage, where the people working for Undertaker are trying to mold the "donor's essences" to match the four stars along with their shared blood types. Right now though, it doesn't seem like we have a good explanation yet as to how this works beyond largely speculation.

Onto what's going to seem like a different topic (I promise I'll connect all of this together later), let's talk about ghosts. Your traditional, everyday ghosts that you hear about in local legends or paranormal shows. Think about how their stories typically go. The spirits of soldiers that are wander through a battlefield where no one has fought for centuries. The doctors in old asylums who continue to practice on "patients" even though no one's actually lived there for so long that the building was left in decay. The custodian or community servant that hasn't left their post even in death. The point connecting all of these stories is how they're distinctly tied to the ghost's old identities. However, there are a couple of issues: Not only do these stories only really give us one facet of the ghost's original, full and complicated life--typically, their career along with maybe a few key personality traits--they treat these spirits as beings existing in a single moment in time, not simply refusing to move on from their past selves, but completely unchanging. And the thing is... complexity and change are human nature. Even if we stick to old habits, live in the same place, or stay in the same job for decades, we're constantly changing both inside and out. Our interests and tastes shift. We react to different people in different ways, and our opinions of them can improve or worsen with time. Wounds we thought would never heal eventually don't hurt as much as they used to. These ghost stories are just that: Stories that aren't meant to change, and so the characters in them are written, programmed, with specific traits and never alter.

Another common theme of ghost stories is their thirst for revenge or desire to resolve regrets, which often causes them to act aggressively. Has anyone else noticed that pretty much every Bizarre Doll has an extremely violent streak? Not just the zombie-like ones: Polaris, Layla, and Doll all have this, and while we've never seen R!Ciel act the same way, his/its apathy to all of the horrors caused by Undertaker's schemes and his/its own brother's misery is unsettling in itself. And I have to ask: Is this really them? Obviously, their souls are gone, but even as empty vessels with all of the memories of who they used to be... something isn't quite right. We can't talk about Polaris or Layla, since we don't know who they originally were, but allow me to cover the other two.

When she was alive, Doll was a bright, laidback girl who cared deeply for her family and the life they made for themselves at the circus. She got embarrassed over things like believing in the tooth fairy as a child. She didn't turn a blind eye to people in need, like Snake, and was quick to forgive the wrongs of others because she empathized with their desperation, like when she thought O!Ciel was stealing from the tents. Despite being forced to wear both a literal and metaphorical mask as a performer and criminal, she had an overall honest personality--believing in promises, being open about herself, and giving her trust easily. She believed in "evening out" wrongs, such as when sharing her secret of her stage identity with O!Ciel after feeling guilty over seeing his slave mark. She was shown to harbor the most reluctance/guilt out of all of the circus' main cast when it came to the kidnappings and hated being forced into a position where she had to kill anyone just as much as the rest of her family.

Yes, she tried to kill O!Ciel when she learned about Joker's and the other's deaths, and I can see a strong desire for revenge affecting her to a point, but that was also at a moment of immediate and intense grief, and if her Bizarre Doll matched who she really was, then I have to ask: Would the real Doll be such a massive hypocrite? Would she really be ok with grooming children just like she and the others in the circus were groomed to meet Baron Kelvin's ideals? Would she be ok with killing even more children? For someone with such immense internal struggle, would the passing of time not give her any chance to reflect on the actions that led to her and her family's demise or grow past it, when even O!Ciel, the character of this series that embodies revenge, nevertheless finds other things to live for despite how much he says otherwise? She/it can feel guilty toward Snake finding out she's a "monster"... but not feel guilty enough to stop herself from repeating the exact same crimes that got her/it where she/it is? Despite that very reluctance being a key aspect of who she used to be? Just like those ghost stories I was talking about, this version of "Doll" that we get as a living corpse removes all of that complexity and whittles her/it down to a few main traits: Doll had a bright persona that she puts on, she loved her family dearly, and she hated those who took her family from her and wanted them to suffer.

The exact same thing is done to R!Ciel and his Bizarre Doll. The real Ciel may have criticized O!Ciel's dream of opening a toy store, but it was only because he wanted them to stay together. As a young boy, he was naturally all too eager to throw away the family title and leave London with Ciel if it meant they didn't have to be apart. When his parents told him he could support O!Ciel someday if he kept to his duty as the Phantomhive heir, he resigned himself to that role. He valued being the "older brother," someone who could protect O!Ciel, and while he didn't give that same compassion to anyone else easily, it didn't mean he was heartless. Tanaka was just as much his "gramps" as O!Ciel's. He had no trouble boldly approaching others despite being the more discerning twin regarding who was trustworthy or not, beaming at the likes of Diedrich while not saying a word to the criminal who bought them. He was a child that regretted telling his brother that Santa didn't exist, and burst into tears when he just couldn't take the pressure of the horrifying situation they were thrown into any longer.

His Bizarre Doll? He/it reacts to most everything with a controlled smile. He/it seems to revolve around only these ideas: "I am the Earl of Phantomhive." "I am the strong, older brother." "I want my brother beside me." Yes, freeing O!Ciel from his contract with Sebastian does match the protective sibling he was in life... but how about telling Tanaka to throw away that Funtom merch? Would the real Ciel, the Ciel that picked armfuls of flowers and personally cooked meals for his brother, really be so callous with his brother's dream after only briefly acknowledging his success? Even Tanaka seems to pick up on something not being right.

A word I highlighted earlier in this analysis is programmed, and the reason I stressed it is because of something similar to the story of the Bizarre Dolls that we're experiencing right now in the real world: The rise of AI. As this story continues, that is what the current evolution of Bizarre Dolls feel like to me. The memories still contained within their bodies act as the "prompt" for their personalities. However, they don't have the same ability to change, grow, or process complex emotions/situations the way a real human can. Doll's empathy and internal struggle is gone. R!Ciel wanted to be with his brother, but his old self never dismissed O!Ciel's autonomy.

In Othello's discussion with Grell at the pub, he mentioned that Undertaker could evolve the Bizarre Dolls to a point where they would be indistinguishable from the living, but I beg to disagree. No matter how advanced AI has gotten, we all feel something unnerving about it and know that it has its limits. Sometimes, it's just technical issues, like a lack of memory or a system periodically wiping itself. Other times, we have repeated vocal patterns that don't match the way a person naturally speaks, or highly exaggerated facial expressions that look like something out of a horror film. These systems don't leave room for human complexity either, and they're easily swayed by whatever information the prompter or programmer enters into them. It can only pretend to be human.

EDIT: Woke up this morning with something to add. I'm thinking the way the F.O.L. Orphanage kids are groomed might reflect on just how shallow a mimicry the Bizarre Dolls are to their old, living selves as well. Each batch of kids is trained to do specific things--games, horseback riding, gymnastics, butler work, etc.--depending on the star whose blood they're a match with, but there is no way for them to go through the same lived experience as those people. For example, the Pomeranians get a room of their own when they turn ten, but the only reason both R!Ciel and O!Ciel had rooms of their own was because R!Ciel literally died. There is strong trauma tied to that specific trait. They are also "encouraged" to stay inside and study, but R!Ciel was made to study due to being the heir of the Phantomhives, while O!Ciel had to stay inside due to his asthma--again, traits that are nigh impossible for others to easily replicate. The Corgis attempting to match Doll are almost equal in futility, because the only reason she needed to learn gymnastics and other physical tricks is because of her life in the circus.

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #analysis #manga #anime #bizarre dolls #f.o.l. orphanage #doll black butler #doll kuroshitsuji #r!ciel #ciel phantomhive

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melancholicstation · 7 months ago

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BEAT POETRY ON AMPHETAMINES - a collection of situationship!jfk headcanon's

takes you on "dates" which are in reality him taking you to a matinée showing of an erotic nineteen twenties film that ends in you guys risking a public indecency charge on both your records between the theatre seats

does the equivalent of a "you up?" text by randomly showing up at your parents home and telling them that he's going to take you out on a twilight boat ride across the cape

the night definitely doesn't end with you guys wandering out way top far on the water simply because other things caught your attention...

jfk going to mass because situationship!reader won't answer his letter and/or calls cause she saw something in the newspaper about him and another socialite:

situationship!reader being embarrassingly down bad and commissioning a one of one bespoke tie for jack as a birthday present embroidered with a message like this

always makes incredibly crude and dirty comments whenever you have to make jello for a summer society event or sorority meet, however there's a sick sense of accomplishment that you feel knowing that jack sticks around to watch you do the mundane stuff, rather than simply leaving you after he's had his way like he does with the other girls.... (i'm sorry in order to be in a situationship with jack and not rip your hair out you would have to harbour a pick me/not like other girls complex inside you... i don't make the rules, i just timidly enforce them!)

also the jello moulds would be by gelée (yes, i know the brand wasn't around in 1950s my fanfics exist in a liminal space without the actual laws of time) cause they are my favourite for crafting a 1950s confectionary feel in the modern age (and they have free shipping! hallelujah!) and the jack's favourite flavour would be pĩna coco... don't play with me right now

would actually wow you with his morning after breakfast cooking skills (on his good back days) and would work within the confines of your very limited pantry in your one bedroom apartment...

and then he would return to the bedroom where he left you, wrapped up in a white poplin sheet, with a cobbled together jelly and tahini brioche on a plate to share with one fork for the two of you

at like 4am once you guys had done what you do for most of the little time you get to spend with each other, he'd try his hand at being vulnerable mostly about his chronic illness and back pain...

i'm thinking specifically something akin to how he would write to igna arvad about his outlook on pain as a constant plague on his enjoyment of all the things that life could offer a man as wonderful as he "if i had lived to be a hundred, i could only have improved the quantity of my life, not the quality" but it would be more conversational when in person. because a man like jack doesn't strike me as overly eager to trauma dump, yet also reads as very emotionally intelligent in parts

he always gets letters sent on hotel stationary whenever you stay at the chataeu marmont like this:

after fifty years and once you two have both passed i just know people wander across photos of you two together on pinterest and are like who is that girl with the thirty-first president of the united states?? and why have we never heard of her.

and you two are always serving cunt prince and princess of the people in the photos:

he would write rambling letters to you when he was a little drunk if he caught a glimpse of you at a partying entertaining or simply talking to a man in the manner you once talked to him in (despite making no moves to make your relationship offical or monogamous in any fashion) and then apologise later on in person with a kicked labrador expression or right his wrongs in a follow up letter

you're granted visitations rights to visit his room while he's recovering from 2nd back surgery and you bring bread and broth (due to the strict clinical diet he's been placed under) along with a hand written steve harrison quote "the virtue of soup and bread in a clay pot prepares the body and mind for what is to come" that you use push pins to affix on his hospital room wall

alongside that selection, you begrudgingly bring some adult magazines because he hasn't stopped whining that there was nothing to do all damn day

you guys keep a small pseudo capsule closet in each others drawers. for him: there's a small collection of parisotto cotton shirts in blue, black and navy. for you: there's a pair of linen pyjamas, a biella cashmere jacket and pleat skirt set, and an oversized coat

jack would 100% smell like a mix of abercrombie and fitch fierce cologne and the deauville lotion from chanel

you'd handed him a mother of pearl spoon with some osetrra caviar in a little gift box for christmas...

which then led to jack eating caviar of various parts of your body quietly trying not to wake up those who were still up for the night...

#jfk x reader #jfk x you #jfk x oc #john f kennedy x reader #john f kennedy fanfiction #kennedy fanfiction #kennedy fanfic #kennedy rpf #x you #x reader #fanfic #smut #melancholicstation #melancholicstation writes #melancholicstation pilled

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kaibutsushidousha · 2 months ago

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The Hundred Line special guests interview from Famitsu issue 1895

A game is composed of multiple elements, like "plot", "characters", "world", and "experience". In what order do those get constructed when you make games?

Jirou Ishii: Me first. I can't present a project unless I have all parts sorted. A game only becomes a project when you have a plot, a cast, a world, and your gameplay sorted out. Of course, sometimes I can only come up with fragments of the story and characters, but I need to have some ideas, any ideas, in store for later.

Alright. You next, YOKO.

YOKOTARO: I work mainly with action games, so the process might be different from visual novels. For action games, you need to start from an estimate of the gameplay mechanics, and only then you're allowed to come up with a story, cast, and world that fit with this estimate. By estimate, I do mean a budget. Eventually, you will find some cases where the estimate will pre-establish the number of characters in your cast, and even force you to redistribute who is an ally and who is an enemy to work with that. Wait, this wasn't supposed to be a conversation about money (laughs).

Kazutaka Kodaka: But since you made it about money, I have to mention how The Hundred Line was funded from Too Kyo's own pockets and we had strict budget plans to follow. But as the game kept growing, the initial budget only lasted a few months. Mostly my fault for not knowing when to hit the brakes.

YOKO: And how much did it cost? Saying the price in yen would qualify as gore, so let's use Ronpas as the currency here.

Kodaka: I mean, I could just tell you the price in yen here and now. It's not like the interviewers would be allowed to put the number on the magazine.

YOKO: Still on the topic of money, with how inflated localization costs have been these days, I sometimes get requests to cut scenes shorter. With how colossal The Hundred Line is, how much did that weigh on your budget?

Kodaka: The Hundred Line was a collaboration with Aniplex, meaning the production costs were split between us. All procedures were carried out on agreeable terms. Well, agreeable on our end. I can't say for certain Aniplex felt the same (laughs).

In what order was the world of The Hundred Line constructed?

Kodaka: A major factor in defining the direction of the story and the characters was my age. I felt like this was my last chance to write ensemble casts and believable teenager dialogue. As for the gameplay, we went with a tactical RPG because that's what I assumed would be the cheapest.

YOKO: Oh, you fell for THOSE illusions?

Kodaka: Oh yeah, that was a total illusion alright (pained laughs). Considering this was my collaboration with Uchikoshi, we initially positioned the plot as the main item and the TRPG gameplay as just a bonus to hype up the plot. But the desire to improve the TRPG only grew as development progressed, so we kept tweaking the battles until the last day available for it. With how much we managed to add in terms of story volume, polish, and gameplay, this title is the closest thing I can call to my ideal game. Now I'm ready to die without regrets (laughs).

Ishii: So can we count the game as your will?

All: (laughs)

The Hundred Line has 100 routes and endings. Can we get YOKO's and Ishii's opinions on this length?

Ishii: It's outright amazing. Relatively short visual novels, like PARANORMASIGHT: The Seven Mysteries of Honjo or Urban Myth Dissolution Center, have been major successes lately. This game runs contrary to the trend, if anything running closer to the lengthy VNs from our careers.

Kodaka: Our goal was making a VN that the player can keep playing over time. To accomplish that, we made multiple route types, and allowed the player to interpret the ending that satisfied them the most as the true ending. This concept for this new IP came from a wish to create an aspect that would get the people of the current year to question our sanities. The best we had to offer was quality and quantity in terms of text and illustration, and that's why we created 100 routes.

Ishii: The closest thing I can think of in terms of how different the routes get from each other is Banshee's Last Cry. That game as a VN with TRPG elements instead of a pure sound novel is an amusing idea. The elements of continuing the game until you're satisfied is also an aspect I feel competes with Gnosia. All that has me very interested in The Hundred Line.

Kodaka: Making the TRPG match the plot was much harder than we imagined. We needed to fine tune the difficulty to make every battle winnable using only the characters currently featured in the story. Which is made more difficult when you have a huge number of routes with crucial differences on who is and isn't in the roster, something really time-consuming for a simple consistency check. I was often going "wait, it doesn't make sense for this character to be at this moment of this route".

Looking at the story branches, this game has a lot in common with YOKO's work.

YOKO: True. I created my route splits to add replayability to the Drakengard series. Those were times when everyone kept saying short games weren't worth it. But in the current year, making something with 100 different routes and endings is the more dangerous play.

Koutarou Uchikoshi: From a creator's perspective, my reaction to Kodaka's project pitch was "Let's rethink this one" (laughs). I showed him a flowchart with 100 routes to hammer it how rash his idea was, but that only got him more motivated…

Kodaka: I got so excited about our game (laughs).

So the document written to make him quit backfired?

Uchikoshi: Honestly, from a player perspective, I saw The Hundred Line as something that appeals both to the crowd that wants to rush it and the crowd that wants to take their time. If we actually managed to make the whole thing (laughs).

Kodaka: I remember the people at Too Kyo being really split on the volume. Due to that, I asked my close friends about their opinions on the game's length. Most Japanese friends were put off by the amount of text, but the American friends explained that only the really hardcore crowd plays Japanese games in the US, so this length would be like Christmas in July.

YOKO: Eh, I feel like the Japanese crowd is also huge on the "I want to see every ending, I want the full experience".

Kodaka: Absolutely. I certainly prefer people experiencing everything, but it's perfectly fine to walk away whenever you feel satisfied.

Uchikoshi: This might work somewhat like RPG side quests. You don't have to clear all of them, but each one you experience deepens your understanding of the game.

The Hundred Line is split into visual novel sections and tactical RPG sections. What do you believe a visual novel needs to be in this age of such rich genre diversity?

Kodaka: The most memorable title I played recently is Until Then. It felt like one of the old ones, going on extensively while still following the principles of "everything matters". We did have games that were unproductive with their high length, but nowadays, I believe the norm is keeping it short. Shorter stories mean more time-efficiency, bringing their narrative formats closer to manga chapters, TV episodes, or movies. Although I can't conclusively say one method is better than the other.

Can we consider The Hundred Line to be your personal answer to this dilemma?

Kodaka: No, not an answer to the VN genre, just an answer to the question of what VN would the current me make. Saying I hold the answer to such an indie-dominated niche would be in bad taste. I personally want large titles to be produced more often, and would love to see my game revitalizing the genre upon release.

Your thoughts, Ishii?

Ishii: I believe we could soon be getting a roguelike-style title, like the Gnosia I mentioned before. The number of games that can pull off the right balance of storytelling and roguelike gameplay is still close to zero, but I expect a high-level title to appear and codify the genre in the near future. Also, writing a visual novel has always been a battle against flowcharts and loading multiple save files. I believe in game design innovations that can create stories that eliminate the need for flowcharts and save files. I'm very excited both to discover and to create story formats never seen before.

What do you have to say, YOKO?

YOKO: I believed the advancement of technology would blur the lines between action, RPG, and visual novel. My prediction didn't come true. The genres are still as distinct as they always were. But the definition of visual novel changed. Back in the days of hardware limitations, what we currently call sound novels were the only possible style of visual novel. But now that any form of presentation is possible, the labels changed meaning. The story sections in Uncharted and Detroit: Become Human are very similar, so I imagine the only reason why only the latter gets called a visual novel is because it doesn't have action gameplay.

Uchikoshi: Good point, Detroit and Uncharted share the same base 3D character adventure controls. The only difference really is the emphasizes on their movement.

Kodaka: Visual novel and adventure game are labels used interchangeably in Japanese, but in my opinion, the English-speakers stick only with the former because it's the one that makes sense.

Ishii: Calling it a novel really draws emphasis to the writing. At the risk of going off-topic, a key similarity between novel games and basic literature is the added attention to the story text through the absence of any other element. But classic literature cares too much about being narrated in first person, and with that being the only POV option, the worlds of novels feel biased at best and barren at worst.

YOKO: Ishii, do you think you could make money with pure literature?

Ishii: Sounds doable, I already made Bungo and Alchemist a hit (laughs).

All: (laughs)

And Uchikoshi's thoughts on visual novels?

Uchikoshi: I believe Detroit: Become Human to be the ultimate form of VNs as we currently know them. Wonderful visuals, too. But if you asked me if the ideal visual novel is a live-action movie with route splits, my answer would be no. Being able to control movement is important. One project I want to create later down the line is what would Detroit: Become Human would look like if it came from the mind of a Japanese man.

Oh, I'd love to play that.

Uchikoshi: I still have a lot I want to create, but at the rate AI is evolving, I'm afraid the market will soon be dominated by AI-generated VNs.

YOKO: I'm also pretty concerned about AI running all game creators out of their jobs. In 50 years from now, people might think of us the same way we think of wandering bards nowadays.

You think AI would be able to create the outlandish worlds and stories you come up with?

YOKO: Yes.

Ishii: Same opinion (laughs).

Kodaka: I think it can copy an author's technique, but not their personality. For example, it could create a game script that resembles a David Lynch movie, but if the real David Lynch were to write for game, he wouldn't write it in the same style he uses for writing movies.

YOKO: I think a high-end AI would go beyond that and be capable of perfectly replicating the man's behavior. Its output would be based on the intention rather than the instructions.

Kodaka: The idea of an AI that fails deadlines tickles me (laughs).

YOKO: I believe we're slowly leaving the era of asking it to copy the style of our favorite creators and entering the era of asking it to create scripts catered to our tastes. The AI determines what the player likes and generates the route they would want to read. Just an idea based on how quickly the area is developing in the user recommendations department.

Kodaka: That would reduce the amount of experience people can share with one another, slowly fading away the concept of a bestseller from public consciousness worldwide.

The Hundred Line will be the first IP directly owned by Too Kyo Games. What do you believe to be the significance of owning franchises instead of only creating them?

YOKO: I don't own any of my series. I own partial rights to a manga, but for the games, I generally give everything to the client. Being real with you, owning a game franchise is not, by itself, something that makes money. But if you don't care about the money, then owning your series has one merit in the form of easier creative control. But I can control my franchises by having a relationship of mutual trust with the producers that hire me, which includes being able to tell them when I don't want a product to be made, so in my case specifically, I'd say I don't need to own anything.

Kodaka: Same here, I don't find IP ownership that significant. I may own The Hundred Line but it's not like Too Kyo Games can leverage that to make anime or stage play adaptations in our studio. We still need partner companies and production staff, and that makes the process not much different from how it would have been if the franchise rights were elsewhere. The only reason why I was so insistent in making The Hundred Line our first IP was because one of the foundation goals of Too Kyo Games was to own one franchise, didn't matter which. But with how huge of a project The Hundred Line was, it was maybe my last guess for which series we would get to keep.

Ishii: The Hundred Line really feels made with the intention of becoming a series. Kodaka already made a successful franchise out of Danganronpa, so I've been noticing the subtle details enabling the series expansion of The Hundred Line.

Kodaka: Whatever I did there was mostly unintentional. But my past successes were a basis for the creation of this new plot, cast, and world, so I could see it naturally coming out with franchise potential.

YOKO: It doesn't need to be conscious or intentional. Kodaka and Uchikoshi have a propensity for sequel hooks. A fetish, even. The games they make carry the seeds for sequels at their deepest core. I can see the sleeper agents in them.

Kodaka: I don't know about that (nervous laughs).

YOKO: You two can't help yourselves trapping characters in enclosed environments, to suffer until they reach their cruel demise. This inexplicable impact is something both of you share. It's honestly impressive how your games are so similar in plot but so different in flavor.

I agree (laughs). Onto a different subject now, tell us what makes a game built at your studio, or as a freelancer, uniquely good or uniquely difficult.

Kodaka: You think YOKOTARO still remembers anything from your employee days?

YOKO: I do. It felt really limiting, having to commute to work every day and work together with people who didn't vibe with me. The freelance life is a comfort to me. I have the freedom to choose when I go to the office and who I work with. Even when the client pitches a weak project my way, I can change it into something fun as long as I respect the important points of the budget estimate.

You're allowed to alter the client's base concept for the game?

YOKO: They get pissed because I only report that to them after the point of no return, but, y'know… negotiation skills can take you anywhere (laughs).

Ishii: I actually feel like I had more creative freedom in my employee days. I was fiercely determined to create something new, motivated by my need to charisma check the corporation in order to get my projects approved and secure a better budget. I looked really assured, since I thought casually giving them permission to fire me if it flopped was normal. That's also a reason why I wanted to be a director who supports creators after I went independent. But in reality, it's really hard to come across a director willing to quit the company for their mistakes whenever. When I say "If you're willing to put your job on the line, I'll provide you with everything you need", the default answer is "Sir, I have a family to feed". This conflict in worldview was the biggest obstacle of my early independent career.

Uchikoshi: Could it be a generational gap thing?

Ishii: No, a lot of people from my generation are strongly stability-minded, so I think I'm the only one built different.

What compromises have you been through in your freelance career?

Ishii: Once I was no longer capable of making super niche games, my first feelings were conflict and despair. I wasn't sure I'd be able to accept the person I'd become after many so many concessions to my identity, even knowing I had to do it to earn my daily bread. Nonetheless, most jobs I worked with after going solo were commercial successes. And my journey of self-search, analyzing what made them big hits, is still not over.

Kodaka and Uchikoshi went independent with the creation of Too Kyo Games. Did you notice any differences?

Kodaka: In my "salaryman era", when I had something I wanted to do, it was harder to assemble the necessary parts. Nowadays, if I ever feel like making a game for a manga or anime franchise, I can give it a shot. Being able to adjust mine and Uchikoshi's workloads at my discretion also makes life a lot easier. I can tell that trying to direct and write two or more games at the same time is too much for me, but where I have more minor roles, I have the option to move things forward by working on the weekends.

Uchikoshi : By becoming a commissioner rather than a commissionee, I learned that hierarchies were never real. When I relied on the company's salary, I assumed I was supposed to obey their request no matter how impracticable and the people being paid have no right to refuse. Then, at my first job as the one asking for things, I made my first impracticable request and heard a "No, that will not be possible. Not an option." (laughs). Turns out money and labor are items traded at the same rate. One side is not above the other. I want to be able to more confidently say no to impossible jobs.

Now we'll be moving away from the topic of work and talk about the real-life events and pieces of media that resonated with you in the past few years.

Kodaka: I've been too busy for games and movies these past couple of years. The only form of media I've been enjoying lately is wrestling. Each match ends on the same day it starts, and that's enough time to spend not thinking about my job. Things finally calmed down lately, and I took the chance to beat Metaphor: ReFantazio and Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth back-to-back so I won't get stuck behind the times. As for movies, I watched Mobile Suit Gundam GQuuuuuuX Beginning and Conclave.

YOKO: The movies I recommend are The Wild Robot and Petals and Memories.

Huh, not a lineup I'd have expected.

YOKO: I rarely go to the theaters on my own, so whenever I'm invited to a private screening of a movie, I always try to take the opportunity. The Wild Robot impressed with how much content it could pack in only 2 hours, and I spent the whole second hour crying. I genuinely had to fight not to make any noises in the theater room. Petals and Memories is another emotional piece. When I watch something that plays out too similar to what I write, my head goes into work mode and I can't focus again, but those kinds of titles that have nothing to do with my inner world are incredibly effective at pulling my heartstrings. I heavily recommend both of these titles. Please let me use the magazine's space to deliver lengthy sinopses of them.

What about you, Ishii?

Ishii: Shanghai's immersive theater is impactful. The viewers go to a theater styled like a 5-6 room apartment and walk around the residence, following the plot unfold in real time where the actors go. It's so high quality that it made me feel something I haven't since the first time I played Dragon Quest on the NES.

Kodaka: Were the actors speaking Chinese?

Ishii: I went in accompanied by Chinese-Japanese bilinguals. I had 3 people interpreting it for me, but depending on what was happening on the scene, all three would get too panicked to translate. That part only added to the amazing immersiveness. The theater also has plays that don't rely on spoken dialogue, so I could go along for the ride and get the most out of the interactive experience.

What about you, Uchikoshi?

Uchikoshi : The most recent game that really got me was Nier: Automata.

Kodaka: From, like, 2017?

YOKO: Are you just saying stuff to be funny?

Uchikoshi : I mean it! I don't believe any game has surpassed Nier: Automata yet. It really consumed my brain and I'm not just saying this because you're sitting right here. The story is just so deep and philosophical.

YOKO: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I will never make another that lives up to your standards!

Uchikoshi : Can you elaborate?

YOKO: I've grown too old to have skills (laughs).

Be serious (laughs)

Uchikoshi : Also, I don't know if this counts as entertainment media, but I was on a promotional trip to the United States and something happened at the bar I was in. The American friend who took me to the bar suddenly walked to a huge black man and started a rap battle against him.

YOKO: Ok, NOW you're just saying things to be funny!

Uchikoshi : It happened! (laughs)

Ishii: You should have joined them.

Kodaka: Convince them to play Nier: Automata with your rap.

All: (laughs)

Uchikoshi : I couldn't parse what they were saying, and most of all, I was scared… I pretended I didn't know him until the rap battle was over. As Ishii mentioned just now, nothing compares to the immersiveness of a real life experience.

YOKO: So, in summary, what you're is saying people are better off dropping The Hundred Line and going outside?

Uchikoshi : No, I'm saying you should live real life experiences AFTER beating The Hundred Line.

Lastly, tell us your next plans and ideas.

Kodaka: I've been exceedingly busy for the last few years, working on multiple projects, with The Hundred Line at the center of it all, but now I finally settled down for the first time since forever. I gotta take a break from creative work and focus on promoting The Hundred Line until April 24th. Besides The Hundred Line, I also have another game already fully produced, so I will be announcing this one any day now.

YOKO: I do have an ongoing project, but nothing I can discuss at the moment… What kind of answer does the magazine even expect with this kind of question?

Hah, throwing the question back at the interviewer! Well, it's about the obvious, I'm fishing for info on the future of your known titles. An ideal answer would be something like "I want to make a new Nier sequel."

YOKO: Ok, so that's the answer I'm going with. I want to make a new sequel for whichever series you, the reader, personally wants the most.

Now we're talking (laughs).

All: (laughs)

Uchikoshi : Same answer as him.

Kodaka: Didn't you say you wanted to make a game like Detroit: Become Human?

Uchikoshi : That's the one I'm talking about.

What about you, Ishii?

Ishii: I got the perfect content for you. I'm ready to throw a bomb at my fans on April 28th. It's my personal passion project at the moment, but I started already expecting certain people to want to contribute once I have something to show them for it. Let's see how well that goes. Don't miss it.

Uchikoshi : April 28th? That's four… two…

Kodaka: I was trying not to say it.

All: (laughs)

YOKO: That Uchikoshi, doing the job of the Famitsu editors for them!

Uchikoshi : I knew that none of you were going to say it, so I had to… (nervous laughs)

"April 28th" coming from Ishii's mouth is a pretty solid hint.

Ishii: Yes, the 4/28 date matters. I hope my impact in the VN scene doesn't fall behind The Hundred Line.

—————————————————————————–

Links:

Writing team interview

Design team interview

Music team interview

#the hundred line #last defense academy #jirou ishii #yoko taro #kazutaka kodaka #koutarou uchikoshi

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trashcanwithsprinkles · 6 days ago

Note

Question about Natlan-can

I don't quite get what was upsetting about Natlan, besides the lack of formality, could you tell me what makes it something that needs a rewrite? I have a Natlan fic of my own that I'm trying to write well, and I want to understand what parts of it people are put off by. Your writing is amazing and an inspiration to me, so I was thinking that you could tell me what's wrong with the region.

this isn't so much a question about natlancan as it is about canon natlan but your wish is my command

(beware: massive ramble below)

contrary to what my ramblings might've led you to believe, i don't actually think natlan as it is needs a rewrite. i quite like it, both in a vacuum and in the context of genshin as a whole. could it improve? oh god could it improve. does it have things that are upsetting? yeah. it's far from perfect. but there's a lot to like there natlancan came not from the idea that natlan needs a rewrite, but that it already has been rewritten. that what we have rn is either a completely different story or a heavily altered version of what was originally planned. so the thought process was, if i was also given the order to suddenly rewrite natlan with little time and while having to abide by what the public already knew (stuff like travail and what little info there was pre-alleged rewrite); then what would i have done?

but that wasn't your question, so, i think we can separate the things i personally (and that i think a good chunk of the community as well but idk for sure) take issue w natlan in two categories: overall concerns, and story concerns. for a fixit fic, i think it's far more reasonable to ignore the former and try to correct the latter, as trying to deal with the overall concerns would require far more time and effort than any single fan should be expected to sink into something like this. still, it's your call, overall concerns:

the designs of the main roster. hardly any of them give you any meaningful information about what their characters and their roles in the plot actually are from first glance, which is what a design is supposed to do, usually. like not to beat a dead horse but why is mavuika in full leather. why is ororon an emo bat boy. isn't he a farmer? what in xilonen's design could possibly tell you she's a blacksmith? or a dj, for that matter? and what does her being a dj have anything to do with literally any part of her character in the plot? what even is varessa. why is citlali like that. what is the deal with kinich's pixels when no other ancient dragon technology has it. what is up with chasca. ifa is literally the only design up to par w the other regions and he's the random tall male that comes out after the aq is over. also hoyo is scared of melanin wbk but just because we know doesn't mean it stops being upsetting that they refuse to change. natlan isn't supposed to be based on a predominantly white-skinned region. on that topic,

what is natlan even based on like specifically. why is it all over the place. they reached for so much they ended up with nothing in the end. like i'm all for having tons of representation for tons of different people but at some point you want to think about the kind of representation you want and if you wouldn't rather just quality over quantity. like idk about you but i don't see people complaining that fontaine is mostly just france or that liyue and inazuma are literally just china and japan and nothing else.

story concerns:

natlan in-game isn't a nation at war, it's a nation with a war. outside of the best part of the aq (the war segment), the war they have doesn't affect the nation in most ways an actual war would: there seems to be little human life toll, there is negligible structural damage, and there is very little land damage. the pilgrimage is once a year (?) and they send what, five people? per year? and usually they just come back to life in the end anyway? so where are your casualties? in attacks like the ones we see in game? not from everyone's reactions, i'd think. the way the characters reacted it was like that was not the norm. so where is your war if nobody feels it? where is your war if all your warriors come back to life and you send them off elsewhere out of sight out of mind to do their nebulous fighting? i don't necessarily want doom and gloom but i want proper weight to this conflict, and outside of the war segment, there just is none.

why are the saurians built up and made to be the companions of all natlan warriors, these super important creatures they share the land with; and their coexistence is as basic as yours is with your dog? they're no more than glorified pets, slightly more sapient. but that's a minor nitpick and maybe my remembering them wrong. what's more glaring is that, of our entire main roster, hardly any of them have a saurian companion the way every natlan warrior ought to. ajaw, cacucu, and alaye don't count, just look at them. chasca has her mom and cucusaur sister but they're not her companions, they don't fight in the war with her. i'm down to accept mavuika's died five hundred years ago except would you look at that, the massive yumkasaur is also supposedly from back then?? unless i'm misremembering that?? so where is hers?? and kachina has one, right? why doesn't it fight with her? is it because it's young? if that's the case, then,

why is nobody distraught at the fact kachina, a child, has to fight in the war? aside from pacal acting like a normal person abt kachina suddenly having an unknown adult friend, nobody else seems to worry about her like they would a child. i'm not saying they have to baby her, but all the concern about her is bc she's mualani's friend and she's not strong enough yet. but not about the fact she's a literal child being made to fight a war. and if you want to say that that's the point, that natlan is in such dire straits that it's normal for children to go to war; then where are my children npc fighting in the war? i don't see them. i don't see a single other one. oh is it because kachina is the only one w an ancient name? weak excuse. if you want child soldiers you're not gonna start discriminating on which child is fighting unless you wanna make it a class/racist thing. and even then, okay, maybe there's never any reaction from anyone bc that's just how things are, right? but then what's the point of having the traveler and paimon as the protagonists? the entire reason why you have an outsider pov (which is what they are btw) is so they can be culturaly shocked when shit isn't as they are used to. so they can give you a different perspective. but no. the traveler and paimon aren't any more shocked at anything (bar the war segment) than they are during any other aq. if you wanted natlan to be this super violent always at war nation then make if fucking feel like it. again, the war segment is saving this, but still, outside of it?

mavuika is a mary sue, sorry. it's not the fact that she's perfect, it's the fact that the plot and the characters and everything around her bends over backwards to make sure she stays that way. it's not about her not having any flaws (i'd argue she has plenty), but about the 'flaws' she has never having any meaningful impact or consequences in the story. she has a batshit insane plan that never faces any relevant friction, never falters, and suceeds with full scores and with a surprise super special even better result than anticipated. all of this could work if the story just presented it differently. you wouldn't even have to change all that much about her, just about how you show it. think abt her situation for more than two seconds. could you imagine the levels of angst we could've gotten? the actual proper foil and paralels we would've had with capitano? with her relationship with those around her? but no. no, instead we have to sell, so she has to be powerful and perfect, and capitano is a man so he must have compelling depth to sell so he's the only one allowed to be decently written between the two. fuck i have thoughts about mavuika but god she's trapped in a gacha so nothing can be done

i'm a firm believer that as an outside pov protagonist, the traveler is at their best when they're filling in their role of the witness. i got secondhand embarrassment from the tumaini dance celebration sorry. i'm not against them being important to the plot, but i much prefer it when they're not the chosen one, the super special one, the only one who could ever do this job. natlan walks this line very clumsily and sort of dips into chosen one territory for a good chunk of it, but it could've been worse. the fact that mavuika is there at the end does keep it from being too bad, but like. man. this isn't even touching on the optics of the white blond foreigner being the savior here. that's a different can of worms lmao

the entire magic cure for ptsd interlude. what even. again, you could pull pretty much anything off with proper writing, but proper writing there was NONE in that scene.

i know they've been getting better and ik why this happens this is a gacha etc but i'm not the biggest fan of the whole. suddenly you have these characters after the aq is over. this isn't a natlan-only thing tbf it's an issue w all the regions. like who is varessa even. i know they give us a quest for her there's worse examples (still don't know who heizou is), but like. if you're gonna be making a fixit fic you might as well consider making her part of the actual world LMAO even if it's a minor role. always remember baizhu was in the liyue aq for all of five minutes 👍

#anyway #yeah #again i must repeat i do actually like natlan lmao #for the most part #it's just some things keep me up at night. the potential.#i could make SUCH a good like 11k oneshot character study of mavuika i'm so convinced i could #but i'm also kinda conviced it would probably veer into ooc territory given how she's presented in-game.#not that i would be purposefully making her ooc but yknow #if you've read every good intention i think you'll get what i mean #honored you thought to come to me for this tho <3 <3 #if i missed anything i'm sure someone will point it out #i probably did #this is more of a personal opinion rather than an exhaustive list of all the community takes issue with #there's probably plenty of good videos on this anyway #i felt the pacing of the aq was weird but who am i to talk about pacing + im not confident i can explain it too well #other than why did it feel like we were partying half the time like what

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pupmkincake2000 · 3 months ago

Text

Alright, I’m really angry right now. And the reason is a comment on Instagram on one of my hankcon renders. I spent over three hours on that conversation, and in the end, I realized there was no point trying to prove anything to this person, so I blocked them and deleted our dialogue. But that conversation keeps bothering me.

This person, of course, tried to tell me that Hank and Connor can’t be lovers (let’s skip the whole “they’re like father and son” thing), because it’s “gross”, and so on. And when they apparently ran out of arguments, they began claiming that Hank and Connor are sexually incompatible, that Hank is too old to have sex with Connor, and started naming other characters and ships they felt were better suited for Connor. And gods, I really hate those kinds of "arguments."

I’ve never gone into detail here about how I view their sex life... Well — I guess it’s time to talk about it.

So, Connor is an android, which means physically (if he has genitalia), he can have sex several times a day. He doesn’t get tired, has no refractory period (which I actually doubt), his biocomponents and interfaces allow for precise control over erection, breathing, rhythm — even vibration, if desired (though in my opinion, this part is more headcanon than canon — machines overheat, and any tech needs rest. Androids are no exception).

The point is: he can have sex, but he’ll only do it if he wants to, not because he “can.”

(And it’s important to note: androids have no biological need for sex. That matters.)

Now — Hank. A statistically average man at age 53 is still quite capable of having an active sex life, though: he may need more time to start it over, there may be limitations due to fatigue, depression, or alcohol (assuming he hasn’t quit drinking or improved his health — which, I firmly believe, he would for Connor and for himself).

In a healthy and trusting relationship, the frequency could be 3–4 times a week — even more if Hank is in good shape. Also, in 2038, medicine and technology are far more advanced. With the help of medical support (like stimulants or implants), Hank could have more regular sex.

And I’d like to add: frequency ≠ quality Connor may initiate sex more often — but he’s also capable of adapting, being attentive, and caring about Hank’s condition.

So what’s the realistic picture?

Sex between them can be frequent enough, if:

both partners want it,

Hank has no serious limitations (or there are ways to compensate),

and the relationship is based on emotional closeness, not just physical compatibility.

Love between a human and an android isn’t about physical perfection. It’s about wanting to be there.

Now, I understand the fandom's fantasy where “more = better” (especially with android × android pairings). But 3–4 times a week is not “little.” This “five times a day every day” stuff is mostly fantasy, fetish, and metaphor. Not a reflection of love, maturity, or even satisfaction.

I can see people saying:

“more sex = better ship.”

But:

Sexual life is about a rhythm that fits both partners, not a marathon.

Mature couples (especially those involving an older person and a non-human being) often choose quality over quantity.

That's why I think Hank and Connor may have sex less frequently, but it’s deeper and more meaningful. “Five times a day” isn’t about love—it’s porn or fantasy. When people say, “but androids are tireless, no aging, sex forever, so it’s better,” I have a few things to point out:

That’s not about real psychology (and yes, I know fanfics aren’t written for realism, but still). It’s not about trust. It’s not about vulnerability. It’s about hypersexualized fantasy, where characters become emotionless ideal bodies. And sure, that’s fine in erotica — but don’t treat it as evidence of “better compatibility.”

When I think of Hank, I agree — he might not be as physically active as someone younger. But he gives Connor something no one else can: emotional realism, honesty, maturity, and grounded, earned desire. Or have we forgotten that the entire game is built around the value of emotion?

People don’t say “Connor needs more sex” because they care about Connor. They say it because:

they want to see a hot body in action

they don’t want to see an older partner

they’re afraid of quiet, depth, and stability.

But Connor? He’s not a “horny catboy.” He’s focused, intentional — and if deviant, profoundly emotional.

That’s why I firmly believe:

Hank and Connor are sexually compatible. They’re honest. Real intimacy is not a race.

Connor can have sex every day. But that doesn’t mean he wants to do it with just anyone. With Hank, maybe it’s less frequent. But every time is intentional, emotional, and loving.

When people argue otherwise, I just want to facepalm. Especially when they say, “frequency = better”/“more sex = better ship.” But that argument suddenly shifts the moment Hank is brought into it.

Let’s be honest: many people push the idea that their ship is better because of more sex. Because fandom, at its core, is very horny, and sex in the ship is practically the most important indicator of the ship’s “quality.” Not all of people think so, but still.

When it comes to other ships, high frequency = passion. But when it’s about Hank, the same frequency becomes a flaw: “he’s too old.”

That’s the double standard. In one context, sexuality means emotion and passion. In another — it’s just about biology and age.

Why?

And for the record — Hank doesn’t just have a dick. He has hands. He has a tongue. He has experience. And above all — he has intention.

And most importantly — he has presence. He pays attention. He listens. He cares. What Connor gets with Hank isn't just about performance — it's about being known, felt, and wanted on every level.

Pleasure isn’t measured in stamina. It’s measured in intimacy. And Hank knows how to give that — not through endless repetition, but through intention.

I personally believe the truth is this: every ship deserves sexual depth — if that sexuality comes from feeling, not stereotype.

It’s not about “how often.” It’s about why. Frequency is not a measure of love.

A lot of people prefer younger/android ships not because they’re more emotional or canonical but because they make it easier to imagine endless, intense, tireless sex.

And that’s not wrong. But it needs to be called what it is.

So what’s behind fandom’s horny fixation? Connor = perfect body + mystery. Beautiful, quiet, efficient, “obedient but potentially dangerous”—the perfect erotic fantasy.

Deviant Connor = sexually aware android with 1000 functions. He becomes a vessel for desire. People want not story — but stimulation. And that’s fine. To an extent.

But Hank doesn’t fit that fantasy. He doesn’t offer “a lot of fucking.” He’s not young. He’s not a sleek android. He’s not edgy-sexy. He’s just… someone who cares.

Which makes him less popular with people looking for fast dopamine from shower scenes.

In the horny-fic world — that looks like “less fun, more feelings.” Which is less popular if what people want is fast dopamine.

Let’s look at Connor again. He’s not driven by instincts. He doesn’t get hormones, he doesn’t follow physical urges.

His sexuality isn’t about pleasure — it’s about understanding, meaning, and connection. He doesn’t fuck because he can — he does it when it matters.

And the real question is:

Does Connor himself want “a lot of sex”? Or do people want him to want it?

Hank may offer less — but that “less” means more.

Yes — 3–4 times a week. Maybe slower. Maybe not always. But each time says: “I’m here. I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere.”

And the other ships? The fandom is free to fantasize however it likes. But that’s a different story, a different genre, a different Connor.

So yes — fandom wants “lots of sex with tireless partners.”

And they pick the ships that make that fantasy easier.

But Hank gives not porn — but truth. And not everyone is ready for that.

Connor? He’d rather lie in silence with one person after one act of love — than chase stimulation through body after body.

Thank you for reading. This may be the longest post I’ve ever written

#dbh hank #hank anderson #dbh rk800 #dbh #dbh connor #connor x hank #detroit: become human #detroitbecomehuman #detroit become human #hankcon #rk800 #connor rk800 #detroit rk800 #character study #character analysis

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xoeroticaxo · 4 months ago

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THE TRIPLETS RANT

I've been watching the triplets for a substantial amount of time, and I have enjoyed their content. I haven't been very active on Tumblr, but I enjoy reading and interacting with other posts surrounding them. However recently I noticed their content take a nose dive. Quality over quantity seemed like a promising thing, however this is not the case. The quality of their videos have, in my opinion, have gotten worse in content quality. the only thing that's gotten better is the thumbnails :/ I honestly feel like we give them so much, and in return get a kinda mid video that feels like a constant repeat of what they've done before. Please don't give me hate when I say this, because I do love these people, but I've come to this realization. As much as we love them, it feels like they really don't love us. They love our views, and money that we give them through overpriced merch with low quality material, or chapstick that could be bought at a drug store for ten bucks. What about lower middle class/ lower class fans who can't afford this? They love that we are buying overpriced tour tickets, and they love we are paying their bills. In return we get the bare minimum People can tell me to be grateful for them, but it is hard to be grateful for below the bare minimum content, and disconnected online personalities. I do not know what it is like in their shoes, and it is understandable to take their personal lives and mental health seriously. They should. But if them posting a 25 minute video once a week damages their mental health, and puts a large strain on their life then this career choice doesn't even make sense anymore.

Now, they aren't going to be posting every Friday on tour, but assure us that we will get content in different ways. How can we even be so sure, when they said that they would have more social media presence when cutting out Monday and Wednesday videos (and didn't). I feel like they have lost their selves to mindless videos that will get them just enough money to live comfortably. Or, maybe they are finding themselves and this is how they truly are. Lazy influencers who feel they are entitled to the one sided love that we give them. One thing that is kind of off from this whole conversation that I find is important is nick, and what he has been aloud to get away with. He calls women dumb bitches, and people glaze over that because he's gay, so it automatically makes it okay. It doesn't, and as a woman I can't see how many other women could disregard that just because they are fans. I love these boys truly, but I think they need to take their fans' point of view into consideration so they can improve. Not get angry, and "clock" their fans for being disappointed with their content that used to be so more genuine.

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo

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that-wildwolf · 4 months ago

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Recently been struggling with improving my writing. I know where I want to get and the kind of style I want to have, but for whatever reason I just can't seem to get there. Especially as I become friends with more creatives in this fandom, I start to realise that almost everyone writes better than me (which is Good because it means I have surrounded myself with valuable and talented people). I end up wondering what sets me apart and what I bring to the table when surrounded by so many talented wonderful writers. Maybe I should go for quantity instead of quality and focus on finishing all my WIPs instead of wanting them to be better than I can write at my current skill level anyway.

I don't know. I guess I just wish I could see more progress and improvement from myself. It feels like my writing is stuck in the same place I was three or four years ago. I wish I could get better already.

Wow damn that was a lot of genuine straight from the heart stuff to say in a tumblr post.. um quick better say something more tumblr post like. uh. garrous

#wild rambles #very likely a vent post but im not even sure

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kneelingshadowsalome · 2 years ago

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hiii the double trouble au lives rent free in my brain like I make a full breakfast and fluff pillows daily for these men 💕

Does Colonel König want kids? 👉👈 What if he thinks he’s too old for them until he sees how sweet Wifey is with small children and he gets hit with Category 5 Baby Fever?

lord knows if the Colonel and Wifey are trying then young König will do his damndest to put a bun or two in that oven because everything is an unspoken competition between those two, ESPECIALLY paternity.

Of course young recruit has to sabotage another important project >:)

But when he hears about it he's so insulted – you want a baby and no one told him?! Have you both lost your mind??

He’s the most obvious choice for this thing: he’s young, he’s active and he’s virile… His sperm is more potent compared to the Colonel’s for sure! It’s a bad joke that you’re trying for a baby with that tired old grandpa, but luckily he’s here to save the day.

While the Colonel concentrates on making the house baby proof and ensuring that you’re both eating clean to improve your chances, young recruit simply chooses quantity over quality. Babies are made by, well, making them!

Doesn’t care if you’re ovulating or not (barely even knows what that means); you’re having sex multiple times a day. The Colonel can go and make those green fertility smoothies while he does what he does best. You can take the paternity test later, it doesn’t matter, it’s quite clear who's going to win this race. And isn’t it funny that the Colonel is out, buying a baby stroller for his kid…? :)

#I see this as a win win situation because young König does have the advantage of more potent sperm #but Colonel is a provider #basically a malewife #so both the baby and the mother are in good hands from all fronts ^^#double trouble au #2 Königs 1 reader #P.S. Colonel König in baby fever... anon you need to stahp 😫😫😫

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murfeelee · 1 year ago

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TS3 vs TS4 Features - Supernatural

I saw @moonbiscuitsims' comment here about how EA added "way more features" in their TS4 occult packs, and I wanted to talk about it in depth, cuz that's a misleading statement. Y'all know TS4's my trigger.

Cuz yes, on paper, EA offers a LOT of stuff in TS4 packs. But the saying goes: as broad as an ocean and as deep as a puddle. 😬 QUALITY, versus QUANTITY, which is crucial for replayability, customization, variability, and ultimate longevity. And another thing is the TIMEFRAME that that content was released. Sure, if it takes you 10 years to develop/dripfeed your frikkin game, ofc you can add more content over more packs; than if you'd just stuck to ONE dedicated pack, developed it in 1-2 years, and given people arguably BETTER, if not MORE content.

My gut reaction's to say EA had BETTER be offering more content! 😤 Not even to justify the ridiculous pricetag or anything, but for the simple fact that TS4's supposed to be NEXT GEN. It's SUPPOSED to be bigger & better than everything that came before it. Why are we sitting here for 10 years with TS4 if it ain't gonna increase ANYTHING but my rising blood pressure & trust issues?!

So Imma just examine TS3 SN in comparison with TS4's packs, and give my take on what's been going on, from 2012 (SN EP) to now.

Missing Features: TS4 Fairies

A fairy was the very first sim I ever made in TS3 back in 2009 (my avatar sim, Sakura). Watching the SN announcement trailer for the first time dang near made me cry. TS4 could never; moving on.

Missing Features: TS4 Zombies & Toadsims

TS4 Tragic Clowns are a W for the apple juggling & costume. I think EA was lazy by slacking on the clown just cuz he's already dead in Sunset Valley; and I guess they don't expect players to resurrect his ghost. SN EP did nothing to actually improve/expand him, just creating the alchemy Clown Potion; I guess to better integrate fishing the Clownfish into the lore.

TS4 Vampires GP (2017)

This is an easy one. I've said since TS3 Late Night EP (2010) that TS3's vampires are utter dogtrash, and the SN EP did eff all to patch/improve them, and I will die on that hill (until someone figures out how to give convert TS4's functional coffins & vampire fights & special FX). Compared to every other occult, I have more mods installed just to try to fix how effing busted & stupid vamps are; and these sparkling Twilight dumb AF bloodsuckers STILL get on my dang nerves.

IMO, TS4 Vampires is hands down the best pack EA ever made for TS4. 10/10, the attention they put in that pack outclasses darn near everything else they did until TS4 Seasons. Undisputed W, yes. 👏

TS4 Realm of Magic GP (2019)

Disputed W. I gave it an 8/10 at BEST, cuz magic/fantasy's a win, but I am disappointed. If this had been a home run for EA, I'd've shut my dang mouth, ISTG. But alas. I went on a long AF tirade against RoM when I realized that a lot of its so-called "new" features were things we could already do in TS4, with a flashy coat of paint--let alone things TS3 & the SN EP did, and better. Some things I didn't mention though:

Muggles who ask spellcasters how to do magic are sent on a fetch quest for Magic Motes, which is EXACTLY what the ITF EP Time Traveler occult Emit Revelart makes normies do to, finding Power Cells to learn how to use the Time Portal.

The Witch's perks/ranks system works just like the Vampires one, so kudos to EA for not fixing something that ain't broke I guess.

The Spells: At MTS I actually broke down what each of TS4's spellcasters do that's largely nothing sims couldn't do in TS3, even before SN came out (via SHT Genies or SSNS Aliens, or the Store).

TS3 Witches (let alone other lifestates) can do most of this either through alchemy or inherited features from older TS3 packs. This was a huge RoM dealbreaker for me, as I'd been hoping for WAY more innovative features in TS4's spells--the whole point of Spellcasters--than just an elaborate set of cheats. TS3's Witch's main features are fewer, but far more cohesive, IMO. (Granted, NONE of the packs holds a single candle to the GOAT that is TS1's Makin Magic, which had WAY more features than TS2, TS3 & TS4; and was CHEAPER. But I digress.)

There's no unique features with TS3/TS4 wands; they act the same way; the effects are just different, and TBH I'm not a fan of either--I wish wand/magic FXs could be modded in different colors at least (like BLACK 😈). But I DO like that in TS4 they can duel for rewards.

TS4 brooms do EFF ALL in a closed world; EA made them exactly they way they were in TS2, with zero innovation. (IIRC kids can't even use them--EA's hatred for kids & elders ALMOST matches MY hatred of EA.)

IMO beekeeping doesn't count, cuz TS3 included it as a small feature for alchemy ingredients in the SN EP, while TS4 integrated it far better in SSNS to work with gardening, which is genius.

Speaking of SSNS, there's the Weather Stone that only appears if you have both SN & SSNS, so occults can conjure magical weather effects over the whole world. (I'll talk about the best perk under Crystals SP.)

Familiars are the certified W for me with RoM. They're the best & most unique & most well-thought out & feature of the GP, IMO. ❤️

Extra TS4 features I think are supremely cool are spellcasters' books floating whenever they read anything. And their cauldrons have much cooler animations, and I'm so jealous that y'all can cook food in them; EA should've added that to the Store Cauldron, although I guess I understand why they didn't in the SN EP Alchemy Cauldron.

A lot of RoM's features are wrapped around Glimmerbrook. Access to Glimmerbrook comes with the Glimmer Stone key--and I WOULD use that as a segue into the Crystals SP, but I'll hold off. I already vented about Glimmerbrook in my Werewolves GP rant--but I'll get to that in a minute, too. The bigger issue is what even constitutes a TS4 "world"--those non-customizeable tiny AF clusters of tiny AF lots and huge swaths of decorative set dressing--let alone the Diagon Alley ripoff EA loves promoting like I was born yesterday and never saw Harry Potter. GORGEOUS realm, of course, like many EA worlds are. But they're largely just set-dressing, which irritates me to no end.

TS4 Paranormal SP (2021)

I've ranted & raved about Paranormal before: 7/10 at best.

TS4 Seances with the crystal ball work very differently from TS3's Soothsayer's Crystal Ball, which wasn't about banishing ghosts, but improving progression for SN's Witches & Fortune Telling (career). Fortune Telling's NOT a ghostly job, although the boho aesthetic carried over to TS4 Paranormal. (On top of the fact that they promised this whole NOLA Voodoo vibe, but delivered ZERO cultural accurate features reflecting ANYTHING from Haitian Voodoo, wtf? It's all hippie boho New Age BS--why TF does the tutorial ghost look more like Johnny Depp and less like Dr. Facilier, I ask you, EA.) Granted, some of the interactive objects are nice, like the calming dollbaby & magic candles to purify lots--kinda like TS3 incense. But again: 1-trick ponies. Yes, the animations look great, but crystal balls are typically for divination, asking spirits about the past/present/future, not removing haunting poltergeists, so I don't really get it. Stylish & gorgeous! But GENERIC AF substance-wise.

IMO, TS4's Ghosts are an L across the board; all the way from the base game--that bafflingly launched in 2014 WITHOUT ghosts until they were patched in a whole month later after everyone rose a stink (IIRC TS4 kids can't be ghosts!?)--to present. EA's been over/course-correcting from that gaffe ever since, with like double the amount of Death types than TS3. I DO NOT like how TS4 ghosts colors are tied to Eeemotionnsss~! (more like they're a sentient Plumbbob). TBF, kudos to TS4's smoky cloudy effect when ghosts appear. But the lack of unique deaths & ghost types in RoM (aside from Spellcaster Overload & the Night Wraith) made me roll my eyes, as SN EP's ghost types are some of my faves (ITF & SHT are also my top 3).

IIRC it was the SN patch that unlocked all types in (basegame?) CAS to make playable Ghosts. SN's Philosopher's Stone allows sims to summon new playable Ghosts (and ofc allows for transmutating cheap objects into gold ingots--more on that later), or it can just kill you and make YOU the new ghost, LOL.

But as for features, sure, TS4 ghosts have more interactions--though they're all pretty, rather than scary (vs TS2 ghosts, which were SCARY). TS4 ghosts lost the HORROR to just be silly/goofy or just CUTESY--especially the little spectres from Paranormal.

Speaking of horror, I can't talk about ghosts w/out bringing up TS3's AMB EP, cuz the Ghost Hunter (profession) is the real parallel with TS4's Paranormal Investigator (freelancer). In TS3, they actually stuck to their promised main premise (Ghostbusters). Overall, TS4 Seances are nowhere near as fluid as TS3 ghostbusting. In TS3 you can run all over the world using gidgets-gadgets to detect/fight ghosts & sprites, not just inside haunted houses, but anywhere they happen to spawn (ofc inc. graveyards). You're not just locked to a lot/house the player already knows is haunted (cuz you just toggle Haunted Lot to trigger the feature--SN's Ghost Gnome object isn't exactly the same, but it does spawn hauntings on the lots you put them in). ANY TS3 indoor/outdoor residential/community lot can randomly get haunted during a Ghost Hunter's shift; and you never know which one it'll be, or what kind of shenanigans will happen--EVIL ghost or just some sprites--which skyrockets replayability & keeps things fresh & interesting.

Functionally, Paranormal had no right to be that dang good for a Stuff Pack. That was a Game Pack; IDKY EA insists otherwise; esp. when it offered more & better things than some actual GPs. I'm confused. However, a serious problem TS4 has is that it gameifies everything to the point that TS4's numerous features lose their spontaneity, and just become rote--BORING. The ectoplasm everywhere just becomes another mess in your (haunted) house you have to clean--CHORES. On top of me not liking TS4 ghosts' look & vibe (and I HATE TS4's Bonehilda). Quality over quantity, EA!

TS4 Werewolves GP (2022)

Speaking of ghosts, waaaay back in 2020 I told the spirits precisely what I wanted from a potential Werewolf dedicated TS4 pack. Did they listen? HAYUL NAW. So in 2022 I said everything I had to say about the Werewolves GP, and accepted the fact that EA's INEPT.

Do TS4's wolves have MORE features than TS3? YES ofc (even in 2012 everyone complained that Witches & Faeries got the lion's share & Werewolves got shafted--they're basically glorified Familiars for Witches/Alchemist to find collectibles--more on that below). But was most of it GOOD features though? Debatable! I LOATHE the 2 wolf packs, which was what I'd most looked forward to; plus the whole world's aesthetic was ugly homeless-grunge, without a single bit of creativity or originality--only EA could make monsters as terrifying as werewolves effing cartoony hipster squatters. 🤦 7/10 at best.

TS4 Crystals SP (2024)

These crystals are ugly, EA. Which is weird, cuz the basegame TS4 gems & esp. space rocks are GORGEOUS. I have no idea which vision-impaired dev at EAxis thought these nasty looking opaque poorly-painted rocks were pretty.

Features-wise, granted, having TS4's bonafide Gemology skill from the Crystals SP's nice, instead of TS3's basegame hidden Collector skill. But the functioanlity's largely the same: cut more, unlock more (which I prefer to cheat my way through--TS3 thinks I have time for all this gameplay, LOL). (Not to mention all the extra features TS3's Aliens, Simbots & Plumbbots have when interacting with gems, space rocks, or metals.) TS4 only got 10 gem cuts for 27 crystals (=270), (+25 metals); compared to TS3's 16 gem cuts for 28 gems (=448), (+16 metals with their own separate ingots). Of TS4's 10 cuts, the Skull Cut is the ONLY one I think looks better (ignoring the atrociously flat textures ofc) than TS3's (which TS4 copy/pasted--no agates, no crystal ball, wtf).

The Garden Gnome cut isn't unique to TS4, as TS3 has several craftable (glass-only) Garden Gnome cut from the Glassblowing Machine (more on that soon).

The only TS3 gem that genuinely affects sims is radioactive Tiberium from the WA EP, so more features is definitely a plus. The best addition is TS4's Charging Grid feature--I LOVE that TS4 crystals can be imbued with magic energy--it's like TS3's Store Crystal Tree, ITF EP's magic crystal plants & the SN EP Mood Lamp all rolled into one. @greenplumbboblover's WIP Interests & Hobbies mod brainstormed integrating that functionality that back in 2020.

The functionality of the TS3 SN EP Gem Cutter & the TS4 Crystal Tree are similar, though ofc the tree's wallet & eco-friendly; and it's a plant, not a hunk of machinery, so it naturally has that going for it.

There's also the SN-SSNS Weather Stone, which gives werewolves the ability to summon a Hunter's Storm, raining a hail of gems, rocks & metals over the whole world for easy loot farming. (The best perk, though my fave is the Faeries' Reviving Sprinkle for gardening.)

Aside from SN, TS3's real equivalent is actually the Prism Art Studio Venue's Artisan skill. Cuz the REAL seller's the jewellery-making. There's ~100 CAS items in Crystals SP (plus 30+ regular Build/Buy mode objects). At $10, the Crystals SP is a steal, at least when compared to the BONKERS $20 tag on TS3's Prism Art Studio at the Store (2014). IIRC the Glassblowing Machine newly added 16 craftable CAS items & 13 craftable glass objects (as SN already gave us the Gem-Cutting Machine & AMB already gave us the Widgets work station); and 8 Build/Buy objects (inc. the goated L-shaped "spiral" stairs). It also added 5 craftable Perfumes for sims to use.

So while the Crystals SP added NICE features, I wouldn't say they added MORE features. Rather, they added more content: Quantity. But as for Quality, I think TS3 beats it out--the Prism Studio's a effing ripoff, but AFAIK it added features TS4 still doesn't have yet (craftable glassblowing & perfumes, spiral stairs); and the objects it did add are pretty nifty.

Timeframe-wise, we got the 2014 Prism Art Studio's Glassblower 2 years after the SN EP's Gem-Cutter; 5 years after the 2009 basegame. Compared to TS4's wait for the Crystals SP 2 years after Werewolves, 3 after Paranormal, 5 after RoM; and a whopping DECADE after the basegame launched in 2014. Wtf, EA?

Still, I'd say the Crystal SP's a 7/10 (there's not enough gem cuts, the gems textures are ugly, and most of the features were lifted from things TS3 had innovated 10+ years earlier).

TL;DR

Quantity =/= Quality.

EA's been taking way too long releasing packs to have the nerve to present debatable content--it should be goated releases EVERY time; esp. since everyone agrees TS4 is easier to create content for, so much smaller in scale/scope, and with an infinitely larger budget & fanbase than The Sims franchise ever had. There's zero excuse for EAxis' mediocrity, when TS3 was churning out EPs like it's life depended on it: SHT, SN, and SSNS all came out the SAME EFFING YEAR. 2012 was LIT.

EA, you suck.

#the sims 3 #sims 3 supernatural #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts3 #rant alert #electronic arts #more like electronic farts #EA you suck

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heylittleriotact · 7 months ago

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To Die as Lovers May - Chapter 2

A year after the defeat of the Elvhen gods and the salvation of Thedas, Emmrich and Amina are engaged and living happily in the Necropolis, serving the Watch and planning their upcoming wedding. All is well in their respective worlds until they stumble upon an ancient monster deep in the Necropolis, and Amina begins to feel unwell. Thus begins their adventure to find a cure for vampirism - all while juggling the new day-to-day reality of Amina's condition, and Emmrich's own struggle with the fact that his beloved has been unwittingly granted the immortality he has longed for his entire life - and she wants nothing more than to relinquish it.

Let's lean hard into gothic romance, shall we? We're talking dark, sexy, moody, and beautiful. These two were made for it.

“Are you quite certain you’re feeling all right, darling? You’ve barely touched your dinner.”

Amina nudged a chunk of roasted sweet potato on her plate with her fork. “Hm? Oh, yes I’m fine, Emmrich. Just a little tired. I feel much better though now, thanks to you.”

Emmrich wasted no time ordering Amina out of her armour and onto their bed when they returned to their apartment. As much as the idea of being told to strip down and get into bed by Emmrich was traditionally one that made her stomach flutter, in this case she rather sulkily obeyed, pouting the entire time she peeled off her armour and Emmrich fetched his kit of medical supplies.

The gash on her head posed no trouble to him, nor did the large bruise that had begun darkening the left side of her face. The bite wound on her neck, however, turned out to be curiously resistant to healing. Emmrich had said he’d never seen a wound like it before, and was only able to heal it halfway before he needed to rest for a time.

Amina knew he was trying to appear studiously unperturbed by the mysterious nature of the injury in an attempt to save her from worrying, but she knew Emmrich - knew that furrowed gaze and the way his mouth quirked to the right when he was completely tangled up in something. He’d insisted on checking on it no fewer than three times as they prepared dinner together, lifting the square of dressing he’d placed over it to keep the open wound clean and surveying it for any signs of improvement - or deterioration.

He posited that it was possible the teeth or saliva of creature they’d fought in the catacombs possessed venomous qualities designed to inhibit the healing process, and once again asked Amina if he could please just take her to the infirmary and have a matron look her over to put his mind at ease.

The rest under the cut or on ao3

‘I’m not hauling my sore bones all the way to the infirmary to be told to strip down, wait in a cramped room for an hour in my smalls, and then told that I’m having a slight reaction but I’ll be fine with a good night’s sleep and plenty of fluids,’ she’d argued. ’If it gets worse overnight, I’ll stop in and see someone on our way back from our chat with Myrna and Vorgoth tomorrow.’

She didn’t like saying no to him, especially after the nearly disastrous outcome of their venture to the lower levels, but she wanted to take the evening to lick her wounds in private before facing the surely embarrassing quantity of questions Myrna would have, and the inevitably astute suggestion from Vorgoth that their close call could have been avoided had proper protocol been followed in the first place. You know… like she wasn’t Amina Ingellvar, the Watcher that was temporarily exiled from the order that other time for refusing to follow the strictly enforced procedures of the Mourn Watch.

He agreed - grudgingly - but only on the condition that Amina alert him if she felt anything out of the norm.

She swirled her glass of wine and took a sip of the garnet vintage, wrinkling her nose as it washed over her tongue, a biting, vinegary taste lingering and then morphing into something eggy and sulfurous after she swallowed. “I think this wine is corked, does it taste off to you?”

Emmrich frowned at his own glass and took a sip, let the wine play over his tongue, swallowed, and said, “It tastes fine to me, dear.”

“Really? Perhaps I’m just not in the mood for wine after today.” She slid the glass away from herself, unable to get the bitter scent of it out of her nose: it smelled as bad as it tasted - how was Emmrich enjoying this?

They finished dinner in lethargic silence - it wasn’t tense or awkward: sometimes they just didn’t have anything to talk about and no call to fill the emptiness with forced conversation. It spoke to the ease of their partnership: the ability to just exist in the same space together without feeling compelled to fill the space for the sake of filling it.

She excused herself from the table to draw a bath. “I’ll clear away the dishes later, love. I just need a hot soak to ward off the chill of being so deep today.”

It was widely accepted that the Necropolis had a tendency to steal the warmth from your very bones the further you plunged into its incalculable levels - nothing about the cold that dogged her since they returned home was particularly out of place, but she longed for the comforting heat of water scented with relaxing oils, and the soothing caress of steam curling around her face as she inhaled the warm humid air that would thaw her from the inside out. She’d cleaned the gore from her face and hair earlier, but the horror of what they’d encountered still clung to her, hanging around her head like a miasma.

“Would you care for company, dear?” It wasn’t that he wasn’t genuinely interested in joining her, she knew that - but he was almost certainly asking in this case because he wanted to keep his eyes on her.

“No, no - just make yourself comfortable, love. I’m sure Manfred would like to tell you all about his day. Why don’t you go check in on him?” He was currently in his room, studying, but Amina knew their skeletal ward was chomping at the bit to tell Emmrich everything he’d learned that day - he had been so worried about Amina that he hadn’t had his regular end-of-day chat with Manfred, and she would hate for the lad to feel neglected.

Her fingers tightened on the back of her chair when her vision went hazy and she felt strangely disconnected from herself.

“Darling?” Emmrich’s voice was distant, as though he was speaking to her through a wall.

“I’m fine.” Her vision cleared and feeling returned to her, but she felt colder still than she had moments earlier: she could feel her skin prickling with goose flesh. “Just stood up too quickly.” She smiled at Emmrich in an attempt to reassure him. “Please stop fretting, love. It’s been a long day for both of us: you need to relax too.”

His mouth opened, closed, opened again. “Yes, dear, but—“

“‘Yes dear’ — that’s exactly what I wanted to hear.” She rounded the small ebony dining table and took his face in her hands, standing on her toes and brushing her lips against the tip of his nose before kissing him properly - deeply. “Leave the dishes - I’ll see to them after, and then perhaps if you’re still up for it and aren’t too upset with me, we can turn our minds to my earlier suggestion…” Her hand drifted from his smooth cheek and skimmed down between them coming to rest between his legs to underscore her implication.

He made a soft, muffled sound and his fingers wrapped around her wrist as his other hand squeezed a handful of her rear. He stooped slightly, bringing his lips close to her ear so she could clearly hear him when he whispered, “We shall have to see about that, won’t we? You have been rather naughty today…”

Amina let out a small squeak at the innuendo laced through his tone; the heat of his breath as it danced over her chilled ear; and the awareness of him beginning to harden under her hand.

“Dammit Emmrich,” she breathed, massaging him through his pants, eyes locked on his, noting the sly, clever smile playing around his lips.

“Go have your bath, dearest, and we’ll discuss your proposition afterwards.” He pulled her hand away from his crotch and maneuvered her around so she was facing the hallway. “Off you go,” he bid her with a firm swat to her backside.

“I won’t be long,” she promised, looking over her shoulder at him as she exited the dining room. She reappeared around the doorframe a moment after walking through it. “I love you, Emmrich.”

Oh and how she meant it. He looked so perfectly wonderful standing there by the dining table, his eyes soft and affectionate, his cock half-hard, bulging through his trousers as he scooped up his wine glass and drained it, his Adam’s Apple bobbing.

“I love you too, dear. Take as long as you need - I’m not going anywhere.”

She shivered in the bathwater, turning the image of the horror they had fought in the tomb over in her mind.

She’d never seen anything like it - never fought anything like it. It wasn’t darkspawn, it wasn’t a maligned spirit given physical form; nor was it a possessed corpse.

It had no aura.

Everything had an aura, right down to the little snails - no bigger than an apple seed - that lived on the sides of the rocks of the little stream that ran behind Reda’s house.

That thing though… it was surrounded by blatant, vacuous nothing. Sheer entropy. As though what aura it might have had was gobbled up by its existence alone.

And Emmrich was just as baffled by it as she was. He knew things about the Necropolis, history and secrets he had literally filled books with. How could it be that he hadn’t even heard so much as a whisper of the existence of such a creature in all his years of communing with the dead?

Her stomach grumbled insistently under the water, and a pang of hunger followed: she hadn’t finished her dinner. Sweet peppers stuffed with beans and rice was her favourite comfort meal, and Emmrich’s spiced, roasted sweet potato was a household staple, but she couldn’t bring herself to clear her plate tonight, and the few bites she’d had weren’t sitting well in her belly. Too tired, she supposed, for such a rich meal. She'd pay for it in the morning when she woke, shaky and sluggish… especially after the amount of energy she’d expended today.

Perhaps she’d snack on some veggies and nuts before bed to tide herself over till morning, but first…

She bent her knees and slid her back further down into the black marble bathtub, submerging herself deeper into the heat of the nearly scalding water as she tried to ward the annoyingly persistent chill from her marrow - it wasn’t usually so difficult to warm up after a day in the lower levels. Perhaps she was fighting off the beginnings of a bout of sickness - that was the last thing she needed: Emmrich having kittens over achy muscles and a runny nose.

It wasn’t that she resented him for his concern for her wellbeing - she loved it, actually: he had a way of making her feel seen and valued that no one else ever had - but at times she suspected that he used his seemingly boundless compassion for others as a bulwark to shield himself from facing the realities of his own fears and insecurities. An effective solution, really: one couldn’t be expected to confront their own problems when they were endlessly occupied with altruistically shouldering the burdens of others who were also struggling…

Despite this suspicion, he was well within his rights to be cross with her after the events of the day, likely because he knew just as well as she that had she possessed the ability to do so, she would have disabled those wards on her own the day before and encountered that thing by herself, and the odds of her surviving alone wouldn’t have been nearly as good as her surviving with Emmrich.

She drew a deep breath and clenched her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering. Steam wafted over the surface of the lavender scented water, but she still felt so bloody cold…

If she was getting sick she was going to be furious - she didn’t have time right now to be laid up in bed for days. She had work to do, a wedding to plan… a fiancé to make love to. They were going on that trip to Orlais, and they had hired a dancing instructor because Amina wanted to learn how to waltz properly for their first dance, and she had a dress fitting next week, and - and, and, and…

She cursed softly and dragged her wet hands through her damp hair, startling herself with how warm they felt against her forehead and her scalp after being submerged for as long as they had. She pressed her palms to her cheeks and frowned at the curious sensation of her body parts being so intensely different in temperature.

She heaved a sigh, acknowledging the growing tightness in her chest, and the feeling of her heart beginning to race, pumping aggressively to circulate blood through her circulatory system and fight off whatever illness was coursing through her veins.

“I’m definitely getting sick,” she murmured to nobody, disappointment weighing down each word. “Just my luck.” She toed the brass faucet and hot water began flowing from the tap again as she slipped further into the water, leaving only her face above the surface now as water rushed into the tub and her straight black hair drifted whimsically around her head making her look like a nymph from a fairytale, wild and free.

Her stomach made another protestation that she could feel but not hear over the sound of the water, and she closed her eyes, giving herself to the peace of her surroundings and quiet, empty thoughts.

He’d never lived with a partner before Amina, but they had combined their lives with nearly effortless ease following the defeat of Elgar’nan and their return to the Necropolis.

They meshed well into one another’s space and routines, encountering very little friction in the initial weeks of acclimating to their new arrangement.

Because of this, Emmrich didn’t feel pressed to check in on Amina during her bath: he picked up early on that the time she spent in the bath was not solely to maintain good personal hygiene, but it was akin to a ritual - sacrosanct and deliberate - where she recalibrated her balance and grounded herself, washing away the filth and grime that clung to her soul after she opened herself to the brutal and jarring emotions that she drew upon to channel her powers as a Reaper.

Also, she liked to smell nice.

It was her space - her time. For him to impose himself upon it would be unkind.

So he caught up with Manfred for the better part of an hour as Amina had suggested, sitting on a stool beside him in his bedroom and listening patiently as Manfred read back his notes on Transversal Atmospheric Anomalies, unable to keep the beaming pride from his face as his - their - ward recited what he had written himself today with only occasional assistance from Emmrich in matters of pronunciation. He had come so far in such a short time: it was remarkable that just over a year earlier he had begun to speak, and now he could carry on proper - albeit brief - conversations. Every day he learned more, became a bit more… surprised Emmrich more than he thought possible.

“Where’s Rook?” He looked from his untidily scrawled notes - penmanship was an ongoing study - to Emmrich, his ever-grinning visage curious and benign.

“She’s having a bath. Now, I see you’ve written ‘unbalanse’ here when you clearly intended to write ‘imbalance’ - so let’s try and spell it out together shall we—?”

But Manfred was no longer paying attention to his notes: he was looking over Emmrich’s shoulder, into the hallway.

“Puddle!” He exclaimed giddily, pointing a gloved finger. “Inside-rain!”

“Dear me, Manfred - you didn’t make it rain in the house again, did you?” Emmrich twisted in his seat to look at where Manfred was pointing, fully prepared to lecture the neophyte mage once more on the discretion one must use when utilizing elemental magicks indoors, but the words died in his throat at the sight of the slowly spreading pool of water seeping from under the closed door of the bathroom, advancing over the dark wooden floor. “Stay here, Manfred,” he instructed, hoping he sounded calm, but knowing the icy terror flooding through him had robbed him of any of the authority he could normally call upon with such ease.

He darted from his seat, the stool toppling behind him, crossing Manfred’s room in two long strides, his bare feet splashing through the warm water that continued to seep from under the door.

The door was unlocked - Amina knew she had no need to lock it to guarantee her privacy - and he flung it open, slipping over the threshold with the urgency of his momentum.

“Darling—?”

He was met with the sight of the black marble bathtub built into the wall opposite him, overflowing, water still cascading from the brass faucet.

He might have shouted her name when he realized he couldn’t see her in the bath, and he slipped on the slick stone floor, falling to one knee when he surged forward.

No, no, no…

Clothes drenched, he clamoured gracelessly over the floor and closed the distance between himself and the tub, gripping the sharp stone edge and hauling himself up, a wail of absolute horror tearing from him at the sight that met his eyes: Amina laying on the floor of the tub, her creamy skin standing in morbid contrast against the backdrop of black, her dark hair almost indiscernible as it drifted placidly around her still face, her wide gaping eyes, and slightly open mouth: a peaceful mockery of the sheer panic that had overtaken him.

“No!” Emmrich choked, voice breaking in that single syllable, arms plunging into the water. “No-no-no-no… no, please… no, Amina—“ Her skin under his fingers was the same temperature as the tepid water that surrounded her, and he hauled her from the tub, yanking her sodden, lifeless weight over the side and onto the floor.

A mortified sob fell from his lips as water sloshed over the edge of the tub, washing over them both; landing in her open mouth and splattering over her limp form as her uncannily empty green eyes stared blankly at the ceiling.

Having seen enough death to know better, he still jammed his index and middle finger against her carotid artery, then the radial, brachial, femoral, popliteal - even the dorsalis pedis and posterior tibial.

Utter, damning stillness met his fingertips in every location that should bear a pulse.

Refusing to accept this confirmation of her death, he let her waterlogged ankle slip from his grip - it fell to the floor with a wet thud - and lifted his hands, parting the Veil and drawing on the Fade, channeling decades of skill and mastery into what he knew was a potent spell that could drag a person back from the threshold of death if too much time had not elapsed since their demise - a maximum of a few minutes at most.

He speared the magic through her, directly into her chest where her heart lay, not bothering with typical conventions of propriety or gentle bedside manner: he needed this to work and he needed it to work now.

Her bare chest arced upwards at the impact of the brilliant green light, and as wisps of necrotic shadow dispersed and faded, Emmrich’s anguished scream reverberated around the smooth walls of the bathroom when it became clear that the magic had failed and his beloved remained still and empty, the glorious temple of her body macabre in its unnatural, unholy silence.

His fingers curled around her upper arms and he shook her, sobbing her name, beseeching her uselessly for a response that would never come.

“Please darling, please…” He found the base of her skull and tilted her chin to the ceiling, stabilizing his other hand on her forehead and pinching her nose shut before inhaling deeply and clamping his mouth over hers, sending his breath into her water-logged lungs in a frantic attempt to impart vital oxygen to her. He repeated this a few more times before clasping his hands over the middle of her chest and leaning over her, bracing his elbows and compressing abruptly, again and again and again, his hands slipping over her wet skin, hot tears dripping down his nose and splashing onto her naked abdomen as he attempted to mechanically will life back into her body if magic wouldn’t do it.

Water burbled out of her mouth, accompanied by chunks of her paltry meal that evening. It dribbled down her chin and clung to her skin, and he tilted her head to the side as he continued compressing her chest with enough force that he heard cartilage pop under his thrusts - felt ribs crack.

“Don’t leave me,” he pleaded, hardly able to see her through the tears obscuring his vision.

He was distantly aware of Manfred standing behind him, peering over his shoulder politely, drawn by the unexpected cacophony.

He breathed into her again, uncaring of the rush of water and sick that purged past her lips against his.

He screamed her name, pleading for her to return, not with his magic, but his very soul. He could not - would not - attempt his Corpse Whispering on her, because that would require accepting that she was gone.

He pumped her chest until he physically couldn’t anymore, and collapsed in a heap on top of her, cradling her against him, twining his fingers through her heavy, wet hair and stroking her cold, lifeless cheek.

“I need you, Amina…” he wept against her cool skin, uncaring of the water that continued to pool around them, flooding outwards into the apartment. He rocked on his knees, removed from himself, fully and completely at the mercy of grief and horror.

“I love you.” He squeezed her tightly against him and more water poured from her mouth that lolled open grotesquely. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he chanted brokenly, as if the words might undo what had been done.

Even despite the rushing water and the steady trickle of it cascading over the edge of the tub, there was a particular brand of silence that was dominating this space, weighing on it - crushing it in its immense gravity as Emmrich cried over the corpse of his beloved.

What would he do? Who would he alert first to this tragedy? Could anything else be done? Surely the sacrifices she made to save the world from the gods merited special consideration. Someone could… they should—

He yelped when cold fingers gripped his wet shirt and Amina’s body spasmed, going rigid for a moment, her eyes blinking once, twice, as the perceiving spark of cognizance returned to them and her jaw worked soundlessly, struggling to speak through the deluge of water that spewed forth from her lungs.

His heart leapt in his chest: she was alive - by some incredible miracle she was alive despite her lack of a pulse, the water she’d inhaled, and the not insignificant amount of time she had been at the bottom of the bathtub.

Remarkable.

He helped her lean forward so she could continue retching up stream after stream of water, holding her dark hair from her face even though he knew there was little point in it - the fact he was able to mentally function at all was a miracle too.

When she was done, Amina shuddered intensely and collapsed back into his arms, voice weak as she croaked out his name through ravaged vocal cords.

“W-what happened?” She rasped, pressing her cold body against him, seeming to almost subconsciously seek his heat as she wrapped herself around him, uncaring of her nakedness. “I m-must have drifted off… and I woke up to you c-crying, and— wh-why is the floor all w-wet?”

Her teeth chattered together violently between words, and he could feel her shivering against him - partly from adrenaline, surely, but he could feel her through the wet material of his clothing, and he had never felt anyone so cold - no one living, at least.

He leaned back on one hand and tilted her chin up from where she had buried her face in his chest to get a better look at her, knowing at once that even though she was conscious again, something was not right: her lips were bloodless and blue, the biggest giveaway that her circulatory system was not adequately managing her internal temperature. Her skin, exceptionally pale to begin with, seemed to have lost any colour that it had, leaving it with a semi-translucent, milky, opalescent appearance.

“Emmrich?”

And her eyes… those lively celedon orbs, now made different - an anemic, sickly green almost as void of pigment as her skin - haunting by their very existence and the fact that they had replaced the eyes he had come to know so intimately.

“Emmrich,” she repeated, panic edging into her hoarse voice when he continued to stare down at her, unable to speak because he was desperately trying to comprehend what was going on. “Why were you crying?” It wasn’t a question: it was a demand.

His hand drifted from the smooth, cold surface of her cheek, over her jaw, and past her throat, coming to rest just to the right of her windpipe, index and middle finger pressed flat against the place where her pulse should be.

Should be.

With a gasp he drew his hand away, letting it fall to his side as confirmed fact and direct contradiction collided, refuting and simultaneously verifying the evidence before him.

Amina was still staring at him expectantly, pleading silently for an answer with those strange eyes of hers.

Emmrich’s voice shook when he finally tried to say what he never in his wildest dreams imagined he’d be saying. He took her icy hands in his, squeezing them gently in some foolish hope that the simple action would soften the reality of his next words.

“I was crying because…” He faltered, tried again. “Because you are dead, darling.”

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