#and that was in the Old Enclosure. So like. ? how are these bastards getting out. i dunno

[ratcandy]

the cool thing about having a bioactive terrarium is that once every few weeks an isopod escapes into my room and i'll just find one mindlessly wandering about and usually in the strangest of places. such as On my Ceiling,

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Now imagine shifter!König, not shifted, and going through the lunches in the fridge. Finding his Finches, cause turns out the little bird is stupid good at cooking. And 'Finch' not 'Handler' now, storming into the enclosure squawking and shouting and accusatory fingers pointing.

"You big bloody bastard! Those are mine!" 'Finch' squawks out, unable to even try and reach those stupid exercise rings. They're a bitch to clean as it is up that high and asshole König likes to lounge on them now knowing it pisses off his Finch. Wait, his...? ....Yes, his. His Finch.

Okay so, before I keep going, can I steal the name Finch? I always like naming the readers for the stories and Finch is just so darn cute. I love it so much. Would I be able to use it going forward?

Now, onto the response:

Art from This Post

König is just a hungry man. As the largest shifter on KorTac's Eastern European base, he's well known as 'The Vacuum' for how he hoovers through food. He'll happily go through other people's lunches to get some extra snacks. Does he feel good about it? Somewhat. If KorTac wants to have such a giant shifter, they should be giving him more to eat. In a way, this is his form of silent protest. If KorTac won't feed him, he'll feed himself. It's only fair, he says to himself. You're a dick, everyone else says. I don't care, König decides.

Handlers and shifters alike know to be wary of König's efforts. Locks don't keep König out of lunches, but if you put your lunch at the very back of the fridge and not towards the front then usually you're free of König's snooping.

When you go to put your lunch in the fridge, you find it a bit hectic and messy. It's bizarre, seeing everyone's lunch pushed in the back. You can't help but wonder why everyone is piled up in the back of the fridge. The clamber to the back of the fridge has people piled up until they hit the top of the fridge, with another lunchbox or two shoved in to boot. It's a complete mess that's probably squishing their lunch into oblivion.

So, finding plenty of clear space at the front, you put your lunch tucked to the side and go about with your day.

All the others would say it was predictable, but the shock and horror upon finding your lunch raided had you chewing the culprit out to another handler near by.

"And whoever it was ate all the good parts, too!" you grumbled, "like, how? I just don't get it! It took me ages to make and this fucker comes along and eats all my hard work!"

The other handler, a foggy-eyed man who was closer to retirement than recruitment cleared his thick throat with a cough. You turned to face the old man with a scowl.

"Do you know anything about this Louis?" you snapped.

"Do I ever," the old Frenchman wheezed, "I bet you twenty balles that König was the one behind it."

That has you stalling for a minute. König? König ate you lunch? Oh you were going to kill that feather duster the next time you-

"He's so big but the big man doesn't give him any extra ration tickets," Louis explained, "I'd feel bad for him if he didn't eat my wife's cooking more than I do."

You drummed your fingers on the desk.

"Is there any reason he goes after the handler's fridges? He has the whole cafeteria at lunch.

Louis grinned, "He likes to snack. Don't you know?"

You grit your teeth. The stupid snacking bastard had another thing coming for him, just wait. You'd snap his little bird next when you got your hands on him.

You didn't actually manage to get around to König until after his training sessions for the day. Luckily for you, he had another session of training in his shifted form for you that day. You clenched your fists in preparation.

Of course, preparation means nothing if you never expected what was coming for you. So of course, you were completely bowled over by the sight of König unwrapping a little square of chocolate, the chocolate you'd saved for days, while sitting in a folding chair. He took one clean chomp before he perked up when he noticed you.

"Ah, Handler! What are we working on today?" he cheered, "do you have any good riddles today?"

Your eyes focused in on the little speck of chocolate at the corner of his lips.

"My chocolate..." you muttered quietly.

"What was that?"

"That's my chocolate, you feather-brained idiot!" you squawked, "you-YOU ATE MY LUNCH TODAY!"

König licked his lips, "Oh, you were the one who put your lunch in the front?"

"Fuck yeah I did!" you puffed up, "it took me ages to make it! I put so much time into that sandwich you wouldn't believe it! I was looking forward to it all week, but I had to age the-You know what nevermind. I don't care. I'm better than this. I'm better than all of this. I-"

You trailed off as König strode across the gymnasium floor to the rings, crouched down, then smoothly shifted into his monstrous form as he jumped up to go to the rings.

"GET DOWN FROM THERE!" you bellowed, "I WASN'T FINISHED WITH YOU YET!"

You heard a throaty cackle above. Your hair stood on end instinctively, but the fire inside only raged further.

"GET DOWN HERE!" you screeched like a little monkey.

Up above, König wove through the rings with masterful ease. Your whooping and howling wasn't of that much interest, but he took a moment to stop and hang by his tail from one of the rings. He cocked his head to look at you.

There, down on the ground you spluttered and spat, hopping up and down and waving your arms like a little bird.

Like a little finch, König thought to himself.

"Little Finch," König let out a hoarse laugh, "Little Finch, Little Finch!"

"Who-ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME!?"

"Little Finch Little Finch!" König tossed his head side to side as he sang out his little nickname for you.

"COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW! I'LL SHOW YOU A 'LITTLE FINCH'!"

Oh, König found this terribly amusing. He had a wonderful little game now.

[neon-kazoo]

Honk Honk (The briefcase-pt. 2) as requested o7

Choo Choo (part 1)

He had led them all the way back to the depot, weaving through discarded train cars and criss-crossing tracks like it was his second home. They had stopped at a forest green two-door Chevy in a gravel—Hero was really starting to hate gravel—backlot. The truck was old enough that Villain had to twist the key in the lock and rattle the handle to pry the door open. He had shoved Hero past the steering wheel and climbed in after them and the vehicle roared to life after two tries aggressively turning the key in the ignition. Twisted ankle screaming from the uneven terrain, Hero had all but collapsed onto the fabric bench seat, endlessly thankful to not be tossed in the back in a body bag or an equally-claustrophobia-inducing enclosure.

Hero assumed it was his car, given the fact that he knew the key would be left in the rear wheel well and the heavy aroma of tobacco. Hero swore they were getting lung cancer just smelling it.

Wrinkled nose aside, Hero sat obediently in the passenger seat of the truck, busying themselves with a roll of gauze Villain had fished out of the back and thrown at them carelessly. Since he had such great care for their well-being, he even mentioned he hoped the switchblade was clean—which thankfully it was.

He did, however, refuse to offer assistance in the wrapping of Hero’s inconveniently-located gashes, which led Hero to sport several loose and stray loops of gauze around their arms before they shrugged their jacket back on. Clearly, he was still mad they interrupted his smoke break.

They were just glad he had not actually pushed the blade into their thigh, because there was no way Hero would be removing their pants to care for a leg wound next to Villain in this tiny cab.

They were able to wrap their rib wound with a little difficultly, tucking their shirt up and holding one end of gauze with their chin and praying Villain wouldn’t take the next curve too hard. Hero didn’t know how much good just dressing the stab and slices would do healing-wise, but it was their only option, and at the very least it might staunch the bleeding.

The belt across their lap did little to help hold them in place as they worked, and they found that most of their muscles protested their continued usage. Finally good enough to hold, Hero tore the wrap with their teeth and shoved the tail between the layers above their stomach. Only then could they relax.

Well, relax was a bit of a strong word.

Exactly how mad was Villain, and what did that mean for Hero? He certainly didn’t seem too shy about dealing fatal blows a few hours ago. They realized tiredly that they should probably be trying to figure out a way out of this before he made good on his previous threats.

Hero eyed the door handle beside them. Before they could commit to any less-than-stellar ideas, Villain cleared his throat. That was when Hero finally spotted the gun resting in his lap.

“I think you’ve had enough abrupt departures from moving vehicles for the day, don’t you?”

Hero tried to slump, but quickly shot back up at the pain in their ribs. They threw Villain a sideways glare.

Knife-happy bastard.

Hero just hoped he wasn’t going to be so liberal with the use of his bullets.

“Are you gonna tell me what this is all about?”

Are you going to kill me?

Villain answered only with silence, so Hero closed their increasingly-heavy eyelids and tried to work through the situation in their head.

A strange meeting, a black briefcase, an angry Villain.

It didn’t make sense.

Despite the uneven rocking of a poor-suspension system and the rumbling of a questionable engine, Hero eventually drifted off with their head rolling like a rag doll and filled with unanswered questions.

They awoke to almost smashing their head open like a watermelon on the dash as Villain pulled aggressively into a spot at a rest stop. Hero saw poorly-lit vending machines and restroom signs between heavy blinks they tried to use to clear the sleep from their head. Lagging back into reality, Hero turned to squint at Villain…who was somehow now wearing jeans and a hoodie?

They blinked a few more times just to be sure, and the figure in the driver’s seat didn’t change. It was still him—and Hero had not hallucinated their failed mission because they could still see the remnants of gel in his hair—but clearly Hero had been out long enough for Villain to do a quick change or something. Hero cursed themselves for falling unconscious when they should have been worrying about an escape or finding the case. Not to mention, they didn’t trust Villain as far as they could throw them, and they would much rather be awake in his presence.

Hero assessed themselves, and found they remained exactly as disheveled as they were before they left the waking world. The hastily-wrapped gauze was even still poking out of their sleeve.

“Sleep well?” He mocked.

Judging by the massive crick in their neck, the answer was yes.

“Right up until you almost gave me a traumatic brain injury,” Hero replied, slightly mumbling as they rubbed at their eyes and dragged their hands down their face dramatically.

“Had to wake you up somehow,” he replied with a trace of mischief as he exited the car and started walking around the hood towards their side.

Hero froze in confusion when their door was opened.

Villain leveled them with a look that screamed ‘where-are-your-brain-cells?’ and threw his head back towards the scary looking building and rolled his eyes.

“Bathroom? You know, bodily functions?”

Hero did not feel very intelligent as they unbuckled the flimsy lap belt and walked under the flickering street lights.

Left to their own devices in the poorly-maintained family bathroom, Hero silently thanked Congress for the hand rails that helped them limp around the room. Outside, Villain could be heard talking on what Hero presumed was a phone, considering how deserted this stop was.

Hero, of course, eavesdropped. Blah blah, fifty miles north, blah blah, should have known, blah blah blah—Something about a blue cab?

Briefly, they considered locking the door and trying to wait Villain out, but they decided the chances of him having a lock picking set or just plain being able to bust the door down himself were too great to risk losing their privileges. Plus, if they were being honest, the bugs attacking the light in the corner scared them more than going back outside. They were unnaturally large. Giving the infested corner a wide berth, Hero hobbled back out and was led back to the truck.

“Great news,” Villain began after they were settled, “I’ve got a lead for you.”

It took Hero a second to realize he was talking about the briefcase. So he was serious about sending them after it, but to already have a lead? How long had they been out?

“Good morning to you too,” Hero spoke, even though it was clearly the beginning of the night. Crickets chirped outside the window, removing any doubt. They weren’t even sure what day of the week it was anymore, and they definitely weren’t about to ask.

In response, Hero was pelted with..something. They flinched back before they realized whatever had been launched in their direction hadn’t done any damage, and they found the mystery object resting in the floorboard. A bottle of Advil rattled in their hand as they feveredly twisted it open and downed two pills dry.

“I had water, you know?”

Hero said nothing, simply grabbing the offered bottle and chugging it all in one go.

Villain, looking rather horrified, slowly handed over a bag of chips that were immediately ripped open.

Hero crunched as loud as humanly possible as Villain drove until he finally broke and turned the radio on to some random pop station.

Hero, satisfied with their win, remained silent after balling up the empty bag and tossing it in the floorboard with the empty plastic bottle. Villain refrained from reacting until Hero made a show of licking their thumb clean, then wiping the rest of their fingers on the seat beside them.

“You do remember the gun, don’t you?”

“Shooting someone over Cheeto dust seems a little extreme, don’t you think?”

They seriously wondered how Villain managed to remain impassive after all this time. He certainly hadn’t slept, and Hero wasn’t even sure if he had eaten anything. There was no way he stayed that fit with just the half-empty coke can beside him.

In classic Villain fashion, he ignored them once again until they pulled into a second rest stop, this one more populated than the last.

From the spot Villain parked, the area containing semi-trucks was clearly visible. Long, slanted lines marked the separate spaces, with several being occupied by trucks and trailers. From what Hero could see, two were blue, one black, and a couple red with all white trailers. Villain’s eyes were glued towards the two farthest trucks, parked away from the rest.

“You see the one on the right?” Villain asked, pointing towards the semis he had been watching.

“Yes…” Hero answered suspiciously.

He wasn’t planning to get them run over, was he?

“Congratulations, you’re gonna steal from it.”

“You want me to steal?”

Hero whipped their head in disbelief.

“This is what happens when you lose things that aren’t yours. Considering you stole it in the first place, I assumed you’d be thrilled.”

Hero was not thrilled. At least, what Villain had planned was not to dangle Hero by the ankles and have them fish a waterlogged briefcase out of the river—as Hero may or may not have been imagining on the long trek through the countryside—but it honestly might as well have been. Instead, Villain informed them that he was sending them over to a parked semi-truck to break in and locate the case that may or may not be in there.

He didn’t say anything about how he knew it would be in there or who was driving, but if it was any indication he handed back the switchblade before shooing them out of the car.

They considered arguing about their injuries and how he would be a far better candidate for a stealth mission, but that would involve admitting he was in better shape than them.

They couldn’t satisfy the bastard like that.

Besides, they had resolved to keep the briefcase out of everyone’s hands, and that included his.

With no other choice, Hero circled the back of the trailer lot, taking the long route through the grass and hiding behind a trailer when any truckers came too close. They tugged at the annoying watch Villain had insisted—threatened—them to wear.

Reaching the farthest trailer, Hero walked past the sparkling blue cab and came to a stop behind the access doors to the container. Oddly enough, there were no numbers or hazard squares pasted on the back, only mud flaps and a dirty license plate hanging low under the latches and chains.

“Iowa? What in this case is worth taking to Iowa. Am I risking my life for corn seeds right now?” They spoke into the watch incredulously.

Their annoying lookout responded, “Less talking, more thieving.”

Hero rolled their eyes, then—realizing Villain couldn’t see them—groaned audibly.

Regardless, they lifted up the latch and cringed at the sound the metal made when it creaked open.

“Are you sure this is a good-“

“Get in.”

The man did have a gun.

Planting their foot on the red and white striped rebar strip, they threw themselves unceremoniously into the dark container. They fumbled around in the shadows, running their hands across plastic-wrapped pallets. They tripped a few times on the wood, and they cursed.

“You couldn’t have given me a flashlight,” they whisper-yelled into their wrist.

“You’ll live,” came the drawled reply.

“I’m not the one that wants this stupid- ah hah!”

Hero lifted up a smooth leather briefcase, hidden behind a shipment of soft drinks—maybe. It was really dark.

“Grab it and get out,” ordered Villain.

“Yeah yeah, I’m going.”

Hero, for some reason, struggled to keep their balance as they back tracked towards the doors. When they stepped down backwards, red lights illuminated right in their face, and they froze with one foot out the door.

“YOU DIDNT TELL ME IT WAS MOVING?!” Hero screeched in realization.

“What are you talking about?”

Hero didn’t bother to keep verbally reprimanding Villain for his inattentiveness, instead preparing to practice their new signature move—the tuck-and-roll as they searched desperately for a patch of grass to aim for. They slammed the doors shut as quietly as they could, crossing their arms awkwardly to try and hold onto the door and the case at the same time.

Just when the shoulder turned from concrete to dirt, Hero made to let go of the door, only, something pulled them back. They looked back to find the loose gauze in their sleeve had been closed in the door, and—to make matters worse—the case was stuck on the handle. Truly a comedy of errors, not that Hero could appreciate the humor in their situation as the semi picked up speed and traveled towards the highway. Hero had never seen a large vehicle accelerate so fast.

In a split second, Hero had to decide between freeing themselves or the case.

“Throw the case!” Villain suggested, like the devil on their shoulder.

Hero was not so naive. They unraveled their bandage before lifting the case up and off the lever it was hooked on. When they looked down again, it was now too late for them to drop without breaking a few bones, and the only reason Villain would have to help them was held in their hand. If they let it go, they would be on their own, and there would be no one to stop Villain from doing whatever he planned to do with it.

They were thrown from side to side roughly as they tried to remain attached to the vehicle. If there was a sticker with a number to report this trucker’s driving, Hero would be calling it. Knowing Advil was not all powerful and they wouldn’t last long clinging to the back with this lunatic behind the wheel, Hero set their eyes towards the top.

There were two vertical poles running up each side of the door, and there was just enough room for Hero to shove their fingers behind them and get a good enough grip to start climbing up and away from the asphalt rushing beneath them. Hero was hit with sudden Deja vu for the one handed climbing and moving containers.

They should have asked Villain for some of those stupid shoes, because their nike tennis shoes were not made for ascending the back of an eighteen-wheeler. If they lived through this, they were going to buy a membership to a climbing gym and hire Villain as their personal trainer.

Heavily regretting not wrapping their ankle, Hero heaved up onto the roof and was immediately hit with wind resistance much greater than that on the train. The ground was also moving much faster, and Hero imagined falling now would hurt a lot more. There was nothing up here to hold onto, and stray hairs were flying all around Hero’s face. Trying to stay upright and on top of the truck, Hero surveyed the traffic ahead, or lack there of. The only lights up ahead appeared to belong to a truck pulling a camper, probably belonging to some family making a long drive to some beautiful destination.

God, Hero could really use a vacation.

Now with a second to think, Hero realized the smart plan would have been to try and get back inside the truck while they were still by the latch. Unfortunately, it was too late now. Hero was stuck.

Mind racing, Hero scrambled for a realistic idea. Maybe if they could get to the cab-

They heard the faintest call of “fuck” and they wondered what late-night trucker was cursing so loud at cars on the road. The chorus of swearing continued before Hero realized it was coming from the com on their wrist, and Villain wasn’t yelling expletives.

“Duck!”

Hero whipped their head around, searching for any waterfowl they were supposed to look out for. Just in the nic of time, they noticed the real danger—the low overpass hurtling towards them.

They flattened as best they could and promised to make good on all the promises they had made the last time they were in mortal danger.

Concrete brushed the back of their hood as they tried their best to channel the energy of a pancake, and by some miracle the semi had enough extra clearance for Hero to get by unscathed.

Physically that is. Mentally they were very much scathed.

Hero screamed about how there better be a nuclear weapon or something of equal importance in this briefcase, but it was swallowed by the air.

Hero stayed down for longer than necessary before looking ahead to ensure there were no more surprises coming up.

Path clear as far as they could tell, they army crawled towards the front of the truck, hoping the friction of their clothes would be enough to keep them from flying off. They swore the container was growing because of how long it was taking them to move across it. When the edge was finally in reach, they grabbed it with two hands and pulled, sliding the rest of the way before dropping into the space where the wiring was strung between the cab to the trailer. By the grace of someone, they didn’t trip and face plant after getting tangled in the connections.

Turning to the left, Hero spotted a dark colored shape driving alongside the truck with its lights off.

Hero had never been so glad to see Villain in their life.

Trying their best not to think about the image of them going splat on the road, Hero moved into a lunging stance. All they had to do was wait for the bed of the pickup truck to line up with the gap they were standing on.

They took a deep breath. Almost…

A loud sound sent their ears ringing and them stumbling back on the aluminum grating.

A gunshot.

Apparently, someone had other ideas.

Two more shots later, and Hero was positive they were going to have hearing damage. Judging by the hole in Villain’s windshield, the safest place for them to be right now seemed to be right where they were. They clutched the convenient handle beside them and prepared to wait out the gunfight. That was, until the driver of the semi-truck seemed to abruptly floor it. Hero could see they were pulling away from the Chevy, and they had no plans to stay on this semi-death machine any longer.

Locking all their doubt away, Hero leapt for the truck bed. They hit the rusted metal with a slam and the briefcase attempted to lodge itself in their abdomen beneath them. Gasping, Hero ducked down in case any more bullets decided to fly.

They flipped onto their back, catching a view of the night sky. The stars were bright out here with no light pollution to cloud them.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Hero’s breathing returned to a normal rhythm and the car rolled gradually to a slower pace.

Well, it was now or never.

Hero sat up and threw themselves out of the back and onto solid ground. Clutching the case, they made to run the opposite direction the car was facing. Adrenaline reserves reset, they figured they had a small window to get out and find a place to hide. They followed the pavement while simultaneously scanning the tree line for any thickened foliage they could use to obscure themselves. Realizing they’d need a lot more cover than the sparse forest could provide, Hero started scanning the highway. It stretched past a bend, with freshly painted lines and impressed rumble strips on the shoulder. It appeared not a soul was traveling it aside from Hero and Villain.

Hero cursed their flimsy plan, hoping for a trucker, a convenient cop, or even just a Good Samaritan out for a midnight drive.

The road was so quiet, Villain’s voice boomed when he yelled, “Where do you think you’re going?”

Hero, once again, had no idea.

Making the curve with their feet pounding beneath them, Hero looked back to see if Villain had managed to make a U-turn yet. What they saw were reverse lights and the growing silhouette of his truck, which unfortunately distracted them from what was ahead of them.

By the time they saw the headlights coming from the other direction and heard the loud honking of a horn, they had only a second to dive away.

Once again spared road rash by their clothes, Hero groaned through a mouthful of grass. The other car and its lights continued to barrel around the corner, leaving Hero alone with the forest green truck that was now upon them.

Under the light of his headlights, a hand grabbed and pulled the leather bag up and away from the hero and held it above them.

Only then did they realize the briefcase was brown.

(I hope this part was equally enjoyable <3

Shout out to the semi-trucks I stared at for a few hours and to my beta reader, who puts up with me for some reason)

[whistlebrox]

YOURE AS INSANE AS I AM!!!! YAY!!!!! Like dude I’m so not okay about them. I managed to get tickets to go see Kendrick in San Francisco and I have been tweaking literally everyday. AND TYLER TOURED IN MY CITY!!! HE WAS LITERALLY LIKE THREE MILES AWAY BUT I COULDNT HET TICKETS (they are so fucking expensiiivvveeee) AHHHH

Lmfaoooo not the ask hiding from you 😭 glad you were able to get it on the fourth try. You will be seeing more of me in your ask box

DAMN was my favorite before I even knew about Kendrick? Like I had heard humble and DNA on the radio was back when I was like 9? And I actually didn’t like it initially but after I like got a little older it became something I like. FELLOW DUCKWORTH ENJOYER!!! Idk why but all my friends either don’t like that one or are just eh on it :( I am the most insane in my friend group lol (My faves from DAMN are DNA and XXX, but tbh I don’t have a song on there I don’t fw)

GNX!!!! I am very much a fan of it lol, it’s just Kendrick talking shit the entire time. IM PRAYING WE GET A DELUXE!!! I NEED MORE. I genuinely loved the way he composed and sang reincarnated. It’s like so fucking cool (I LOVE THAT SOMG SO MUCH!!!! ARGH IM NOT OKAY ABOUT IT) Hey now is also cool :) I like the beat of it a lot.

Mr morale! Honestly you’re like one of a few people who actually like the album? I really like it even if it’s less about the beat, because I go feral for stories in music (esp when it’s literally just a whole album of it). your so good at like articulating how you feel about these albums cause everytime I try it’s just vague screaming. I also think it just cool how he opened up about that yknow? Esp since all his albums (except maybe GNX?) tell some sort of story.

Tyler is goated as shit. I love his music sm man.

BASTARD!!! I do enjoy that album quite a bit (I was probably listening to it a little too young lmao but whatever)— It’s def a little old but you could feel that there was effort in it? Idk how to explain that. (How do you feel about goblin and wolf?) I’m a little obsessed with the like story that the three of those albums tell? I can’t remember all the details since I watched someone yap about it like a year ago but if I am correct, they are all related? Or semi-related? Ugh I hate my dogshit memory sometimes

I very much chew on the bars of my enclosure for IFHY on wolf. It’s just so AHHHHHHH

A HURRICANE??? 😭 oh dude I’m sorry that’s so much ass. literally nature trying to drown you. Funnily enough CMIYGL is like a seasonal album for me? I only ever listen to it fr in summer and fall. Although with how hot it’s getting I might start listening to it sooner than summer.

CHROMAKOPIA I LOVE IT SM!!! ITS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVE ALBUMS PERIOD!! I love st chroma and balloon smmmmm aaaaaaaaAAAAAAA I didn’t know it was coming out till like a week before it dropped I think but I was so hype. I don’t think I’ve heard it on the radio, but I’m also not on the radio ever (I always listen to whatever music i fw instead of the radio). Rah tah tah is so fuckign goated I love that one and noid.

OH!!! How do you feel abotj SZA and doechii ? They’ve both grown on me sm these last like three months

I neeed to know more abt your music taste please PLEASE do u have more artists you like? (I listen to literally everything except for like country (idk i just never fw it))

hhhh I keep forgetting I named myself rat on here (I switch my usernames around because I like making life hard for myself ) you can keep using rat or call me Mari (I really don’t care but rat can get a little awkward )

OK OK FIRST OF ALL THAT OS FUCKING INSANE THAT U WENT 2 A KENDRICK CONCERT!! oughh it's the dreamm... and Tyler's being so close nah I'd tweak tf outttt...

What got me into kendrick was my dad making me listen 2 Money Trees, A.D.H.D, and I think m.A.A.d city. Ofc I heard HUMBLE. and LOYALTY on the radio and I hated it at first as a kid. I think I was like 10 at the time. Omg dude that shit was js so amazing... (I was born 2008 and DAMN. came out 2018 had 2 do some math... shit was very popular when it came out.) I used 2 be annoyed by rap bc I had a grudge against my dad at the time. It grew on me as I heard it and now that I'm older I js fucking love it.

It'd like 2 say I am genuinely so fucking insane about kendrick and Mr Moral and The Big Steppers. Crown made my twin cry, and Mother I Sober made me depressed for a WEEK. We Cry Together had me js in shambles the first time i heard it. So many impactful songs that rlly took me back and made me think. Some real shit in there that i think people overlook bc its not a hype beast album.

Like people LITTERALY made fun of the song crown in the reaction vids (i listen 2 music better with people) and i had 2 tuen it off bc it pissed me off. Nobody got the message in the songs or the album as deeply as me and my sibling. They will never get what its like lying down in a bed next 2 someone and js listening 2 an album 2gether. We take pauses in between songs and talk about what it means and how it felt. So much fun dude.

kendricks vulnerability about being stuck in a violent cycle and being that product of how u were raised. Bc tbh it isn't anyone's fault, u js keep living. One day shit makes sense, and you change. U change a lot, and u get better. I love that story. That message about MMAGBS (abbreviation created...) being that u can change even DECADES later from childhood is js so so so important, especially for older generations.

Dude I fucking love the wolf trilogy DONT START... FUCKING LOVE THEM SM. I ofc have my own hc and theories on the story line bc yk u have 2 put the albums 2gether urself even if it's kinda fuzzy what happens without listening along 2 the full thing and writing shit down.

IFHY was life changing 2 hear. My favorite songs on WOLF is the first song itself bc it sounds like a snarky teen js fucking around on the piano. So awsome dude. Also the ANGELIC ASS SINING OF "YOUUUUUUUUUUUU... AREEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAA HOOOOOOOEEEEEE..." LIKE???? yes TAKE ME TYLERRRR IM ACENDING!! then ofc we have Jamba... domo 24.. and tamale... I love loud energetic songs thay I can scream and blast when I need a mood/energy boost. All of them are sooo catchy ong like fr we are making it outta the trenches!! THEN OFC PIGS. I love pigs ik people hate that song but I fucking looove it. Samuel crash out was needed for the storyline and awareness of kids struggling with bullies and why they become school shooters is very important 2 me bc kids used 2 call me one. As u can tel I am FAR from anti social I'm on fucking tmblr duee I am litteraly extroverted and loud... people js suck... but yeah wolf is sooo goated...

Goblin is hot ass tbh but it's still special 2 me. I love the song Tron Cat, it's my comfort song. I rlly fw how it was a representation of intrusive thoughts and it rllt resonated with me very hard. Like yeahhhh this is me rn when I'm tryna be normal. Also that funky ass BEAT IN THE BACK HELLOOOOOO OH IT FEELS LILE DREAD SO BAD LIKE WHEN UR STOMACH TURNS AND THEN SHIT KEEPS GOING I LOOOOOVE IT!! the laaaalaaaalaaaa in the back being me tryna drown out all the brain noise is so real. 10/10 would sing in public. Then anolog bc it's chill and cute everyone fw that song. Yonkers is ok but yk eh. It's good here and there bit it's over played. I also like Transylvania... bc of the adlibs... and the background musoc... also he's very aggressive and mmm yummy I LOBE itt... urgsjfjf

I need 2 get into docheii rlly bad... and i had a grudge against SZA bc everyone loves her and it's popular and I get salty over that... then I saw how nice she was and now I'm like :(( SHE WAS ON SEESAME ST... I CSNT HATE THAT!! She's so sweet.

I'm also into Kanye and fetty wap but only minorly. So yeah js rap... I only rlly listen 2 tyler and Kenny bc their albums are so diverse and I alr know their style and I'm very very attached 2 it. I try 2 branch out tho!! I ALSO FW EMINEMS RELAPSE ALBUM!! BOTH AND THE REFILL OF IT!!! OUGH YES SO VERY SUKUNA FROM MY AU..

[majorsoapfan]

ask game 3, 12, 21?

Favorite line/scene you wrote this year

You tortured me with this one I'll have you know, tortured. (Do you know how much I've written?) I'm sorry but I'm going to have to do a top five instead for this, otherwise I'll never be able to pick. So in no particular order, my favourite lines/scenes are:

The whole scene in 'Jailbreak' where Coral and co discover that Mizzen has managed to get outside of the Zoo enclosure and Coral's reaction to it. It was just so funny to write, Coral's panic and then relief at the end contrasting with Mizzen's nonchalance/pride at what he was doing.

This moment here in 'The Mess Of First Impressions':

“Ok, guys stand back I got this,” he said, raising the hammer up to strike a blow, only to be met with another chorus of loud objections and several hands grabbing onto Tanner and forcing him to step back and to lower the hammer.

“I’m not going to let you smash up my car, you bastard!” Treech cried at him, appalled.

“Never mind your bloody car, are you genuinely trying to kill my brother?!” Coral shrieked at Tanner, gaining a panicked noise from Mizzen who had clearly heard that remark.

The whole scene with Hilarius and Wovey in 'With The Benefit Of Hindsight', it was just pure comedy to write, and even thinking about it now makes me smile. Hilarius was just so stuck up and arrogant and Wovey in contrast was a delight particularly the moment when she took his sarcasm literally and went on her merry way, like:

“Bobbie,” he heard Wovey call then, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Why did her voice sound fainter?

Frowning, he lifted his head back up to find the classroom empty of other people and the door open wider than it had been a minute ago.

There was no Wovey.

Oh no.

Lamina and Coral's conversation in chapter 6 of 'Can't Catch Us Now' where Coral confronts Lamina and asks her why Lamina had saved Coral during their escape from the Arena, only minutes after Treech had abandoned Lamina for the Pack. It was without a doubt one of my favourite scenes to write, definitely one of the most emotionally powerful and it without a doubt deserves to be mentioned.

In 'Stay With Me' it has to be a tie between Treemina's happier moments in chapter 1 (before the 'you know what' happens) and their reunion in chapter 7 (not particularly one scene in itself, I know but I couldn't choose).

There were a good few more that had deserved to be mentioned, but as I limited myself to 5, I couldn't include all of them unfortunately, so I have to leave it at them.

Favorite character to write about this year

Ok, this one is much easier! My favourite character to write about has to be without a doubt Lamina! I just love getting into her head! And then Treech and Coral are very close seconds, they're all just so interesting to explore.

Most memorable comment/review

Ok, this one is trickier because I've gotten so many lovely and thoughtful comments on my fics. But I think that some of my most memorable comments are the comments that you've left on 'Birds Of A Feather' and the comment that you left on 'Death By Thirteen Year Old' because not only they are so long and so detailed, they're more memorable to me because both of those fics are inspired by your 'Electric Rebels' fic so to have you freaking out over them and leaving such detailed comments makes me very happy.

Thanks for the ask!

[paperficwriter]

"Tipping the Scales" (Good Omens, Aziraphale x Crowley)

Look, all I'm saying is I posted this yesterday before watching the end of Season 2 and it exists and I'm sticking to it, okay?

Cut is for length and for content. AO3 link and tags in the reblog.

It started, quite appropriately enough, in a garden. No, not that garden. This was the Kew Gardens in London, and Aziraphale and Crowley had found themselves very specifically in the outdoor enclosure among rocks and waterfalls. Perhaps there was a little miracling involved to keep people from noticing them sitting atop one of the large, flat ledges, but nothing too extraordinary.

Unless you took a closer look and realized that it was one angel and one very unnaturally large snake. Well, serpent , if you asked him. Because serpent was quite a lot more impressive, wasn’t it?

“Mmm…” Crowley shifted, his coils sliding together in a circle like a tight spiral. “Thisssss isss the life.”

“Yes,” Aziraphale agreed. All around them, the lush green grass and vibrant flowers shimmered in the breeze, and the sunshine made the whole rock quite warm, which had been exactly why Crowley wanted them perched on this one, so he could soak it all up into his scales. He didn’t have to, of course, but that wasn’t why he did that - or anything - at all. 

Aziraphale was not paying attention to anything but Crowley. Lifting a hand, he put it down on the spot right behind Crowley’s thick skull and stroked back, the muscles shifting as he wondered over the silky sensation of the flattened scales. He kept moving around, going deeper, until a child throwing a stone into the pool (and being scolded) made him jump a little. “Oh! Forgive me, I should have asked.”

“Sssince when do I give a fig about you asssking, angel?” 

“I was just...I’m so curious.” Aziraphale returned to touching, putting a bit more pressure on the thickest part of Crowley’s long body. His fingers couldn’t get anywhere near far enough around it to say he was holding it. “Does it feel different, being touched like this?”

“In a way. It’sss like...more distance between the inside and the outside. Harder. Feelsss more protected.”

“Are you comfortable being moved around in it?” To make his point, Aziraphale reached down and hefted the first quarter or so of his body up across his lap...and immediately regretted it. Not because of the weight, no, but for how it was distributed, and, more importantly, where.

“Well enough,” Crowley responded. He brought his body up, across Aziraphale’s chest rather like the world’s densest seatbelt. His head rested on his shoulder, chuckling in his ear. “You ssseem quite interested in thisss. I’d love to know why…”

That was the moment Aziraphale felt entirely much too close. Caught. “Oh, my, someone seems to have come into the store. Knew I should have slipped my mind. Er, flipped the sign. Er, pardon me for a few, dear!”

And with a small fluttering poof, Aziraphale was gone, and all Crowley had was an angel-sized hot spot to curl into.

—————————————————————-

A few days later, Crowley, once again in full flash bastard form, wandered his way up to the loft above the bookshop. “Taking a kip, angel. Shout if you need anything.”

“I’ll have tea ready when you get up!” Aziraphale announced cheerfully from below, going back to shelving several new books by some popular authors (yes, the Apocalypse That Wasn’t really had changed many things, and not just between the two of them).

Crowley curled up on his side facing the window, listening to the bustling street below. It was easier to sleep with a bit of noise, he found. Soon enough, his arm had dropped off the edge of the metal frame bed covered in quilts and wonderfully-worn pillows, but instead of touching the hardwood floor, he found himself caressing a book. No, two books.

One of them was very old, and on the cover was a creature he quickly recognized: a naga, half-snake and half-human. This one had its tits out, long flowing hair, and a long tail that disappeared off the illustration. A Study in Mythological Creatures, Volume 3: Reptiles.  

And then Crowley picked up the second one, and his gold eyes went huge. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns. This one certainly left little to the imagination; the paperback textbook showed a photograph depicting someone in a state of rather complete undress, eyes covered with a padded blindfold, arms crossed over their chest with shackles around each wrist.

“The Romance and...Sexual Sorcery of...Sadomasochism,” Crowley read to himself. “Oh, angel…”

Below, Aziraphale had a small sneeze. 

Later that night, over a light supper of balti curry with naan, with some British baking show that Aziraphale had been obsessed with for the past ten years and had recently pulled Crowley into, Crowley casually let his fingers play at the back of Aziraphale’s neck. He watched with interest as there were subtle changes to his partner’s responses: more rapidly blinking eyes. Quicker breaths. Spoon hovering over his meal but never dipping in again.

He slid his fingers up into his hair to the knuckles and squeezed. Oh, now that was a delicious expression Aziraphale made, eyes fluttering shut, lips parting just slightly more. Crowley firmly brought his head over and kissed him, grinning at how they were a bit slack. “Aziraphale, ” he said.

“Y-yes, dear?”

“I think we should take a pause on the show…” He leaned in to lick his throat, each part of his forked tongue following either side of Aziraphale’s Adam’s apple. “Don’t you?”

“...yes. Good idea.”

—————————————————————-

It didn’t stop there, of course. It was painfully easy to get Aziraphale on his knees begging for more. There were so many things that the angel responded to readily: a blindfold over his eyes, settling between Crowley’s legs while he pressed the toe of a shined shoe under his chin, and then there was the spanking.

He might have worried that being called ‘naughty’ or any other sort of playful but still negative term might make Aziraphale spiral a bit but he did take it in stride. If anything it made his prick harder, it made his cunt behind it wetter, it made him clench so tantalizingly. 

But what really ruined him, he found out, was when he had the soft angel in his lap, sitting with his back to Crowley’s front, and when he reached around him to palm his cock, the human skin of his hand shimmered and changed to snake scales. “Oh, by every dominion—!” Aziraphale had all but squealed, and then he came so swiftly, and so hard, that Crowley may or may not have found some in his hair later.

The whole thing really was fun, but Crowley had spent too long with Aziraphale. The guilt that he had come across his lover’s desires in a way that wasn’t exactly direct or through honest communication made him feel queasy and not altogether as fine with it as he might have a century ago. 

They were sitting on their usual bench with pieces of fruit now, because some London organization had made quite a to-do about feeding bread to ducks (and Crowley suspected it might have been his side’s doing, to cause the humans more stress and to make the ducks a bit more unhappily aggressive— after all, tell someone to have an apple instead of a croissant and see how well that goes over). 

Crowley was getting glared at by a particularly tenacious-looking mallard when he let the cat out of the bag, confessing how he had found the books the afternoon he had napped in the loft.

He waited for Aziraphale’s thin smile, his ‘I forgive you your discretions,’ but instead he blushed and looked down. “Well, that is probably for the best, because I may or may not have left them there. Quite on purpose. Hoping they might…” He swallowed. “Tempt you. I have been quite ashamed this whole time.”

Crowley screwed up his face in doubt. “You really expect me to believe that, angel?”

Aziraphale seemed to take more exception to that than to the matter at hand. “I have a perfectly good fainting couch, a century-old chestnut desk and a fireplace, Crowley. Why on earth would I read in bed?”

“Fair enough.” Crowley flipped his small bag of halved grapes and watermelon out into the grass for the begrudging pair of gadwalls that had come waddling about, all so he could reach over to grasp Aziraphale’s wrist. “So...that means I don’t have to be coy anymore.”

Aziraphale flushed, and although he still scattered his own diced cocktail across the pond, it was quicker, in larger handfuls. “Have you been coy to this point? My reddened buttocks might not have noticed.”

Crowley let himself soak in the pleasure of leaning in and getting a gasp from Aziraphale as he pressed his lips under his ear. “I have been holding onto one idea. If you’re feeling adventurous, of course.”

“Aren’t I always?” Aziraphale replied in a way that did not sound particularly like a ‘yes,’ but then he did add, “When it comes to you, I mean.”

One light kiss. “When it comes to me,” Crowley agreed.

—————————————————————-

“Clothes off, angel. Don’t make me wait.”

One might think that it was only because Crowley did very much like issuing orders to Aziraphale (nearly as much as Aziraphale enjoyed taking them) that he was already telling him what to do from his perch on the bed, a crimson silk robe hanging off his long, thin body. But actually, the latter part of the statement fit his mood. He didn’t want to wait. He wanted Aziraphale, and he wanted him now. 

“Not with magic,” he added, when Aziraphale raised his fingers as he tended to before miracling away his trappings. “With your hands.”

He watched through those golden slits as Aziraphale pulled back layer after layer of linen and tartan, of the soft undergarments he liked to wear - even though Crowley enjoyed teasing him about them not exactly being flattering, and that he was fairly sure they were at least eighty years old - all until he came to his socks and garters.

“Leave those,” Crowley ordered. A slim eyebrow went up. “I like them. But you know that, don’t you? That’s why you wear them, harlot.”

Aziraphale’s cheeks went pink. He knew better than to try to say that, no, he did in fact wear them to keep his socks up, because that would make Crowley quite cross. And tonight, he didn’t want Crowley crossed. He wanted his orders. He wanted his dominance. But he didn’t specifically want his ire.

“Stand up straight. Let me have a real look at you.” Crowley rose from the bed and moved around Aziraphale, humming as his palms slid along ivory flesh. “Yes...I think you’ll do nicely. One of heaven’s prizes.”

“Don’t say that too loud. You could... someone could hear.”

Crowley took Aziraphale’s chin in his hand, licking across his mouth with a long, forked tongue in a way that made the angel’s knees weak. “Maybe I would like them to be listening. Maybe I want them to hear all those sweet symphonies that come out of your pretty throat.”

Aziraphale’s moan shook as Crowley made another pass around him, this time to bring his arms back, connecting them at the wrist and tying them with the silk sash from his robe. This time, when he stepped around him, Aziraphale could feel something slide at his feet, at his socked ankles, which was the start of Crowley’s tail as his legs came together to form the base of his snake shape.

“Yes, a pretty little bird to devour. You like being my prey, don’t you, soft thing?”

Crowley had considered telling Aziraphale to loose his wings so he could crush those too between his coils and Aziraphale’s body, feeling the feathers bend and make their strange ethereal noises, like a handful of harp strings being gripped in one’s fist. But he didn’t want to get too carried away. Immortal though they were, wings were sensitive things, and a pretty easy way to make or break the mood.

“Yes, yes I do,” Aziraphale whimpered. It was endearing how easily he fell into the submissive role. It was especially becoming on him, now after the Near End of Everything, when Crowley had seen what a brave, powerful soul he had when the chips were down. 

Aziraphale gasped as more of Crowley’s tail grew and wrapped around him. Now, it was easily twice the length his legs usually were, the scales all the way to the line under his chest. Around and around he went, tightening and pinning Aziraphale’s arms to his sides. These bodies of theirs...they didn’t have to let them function the same as human bodies - and Heaven and Hell knew that they did have some fun with the in’s and out’s (Crowley’s substantial cock, how Aziraphale personally identified well with both) - but they tended to, so when Crowley squeezed, he could find the thrumming of Aziraphale’s heart, could hear his breath quicken. And both his cock and heat were responding in time

“Still good, babe?” he whispered quietly, grin spreading as Aziraphale nodded. He kissed him, a reward for his bravery, for the gorgeous package he had let himself become, and Aziraphale’s arms flexed like he was trying to reach for him. The squirming only made Crowley’s cock slide out of him, with quite a bit of slick to it, standing.

“Oh my,” Aziraphale breathed, eyes locking on it. This wasn’t his usual human instrument; Crowley had taken some creative liberties with giving it a few extra bumps, making it a bit more curved with a solid base, the head smooth and tapered. He might have been a little worried that Aziraphale would call him out for it not being entirely accurate, but given the way he was staring at it…

“Don’t worry, angel. You’ll be getting that very shortly. If you ask for it nicely.”

Aziraphale tried to spread his legs for it, but it was futile in the rings of powerful muscle. “Please, Crowley, yes, please!”

“What was that, Aziraphale? Not sure I heard you…”

“Please!” Now he was needy, tears shimmering at the corner of one eye. Crowley kissed them away gently. “Please…”

He gave him exactly what he wanted, then. He slid his cock inside of him, every ridge bumping the wet cavern of Aziraphale’s body. “You just have to take it,” he said, biting at the shell of Aziraphale’s ear. “While I’m holding you, you’ll take the pleasure I give and like it. ”

He said it like it was a threat, and Aziraphale took it as such, though in the most excited way. Crowley moved him up and down, pressed in to meet every downward thrust. The tip of his tail found Aziraphale’s cock and wrapped around it, squeezing as beads of precome oozed from the tip. “Oh, yes...yes, just like that, my darling—!”

It wasn’t exactly an appropriate endearment given their scene but Crowley allowed it, lost in going faster and harder until they were both coming in tandem, Crowley crushing him tight with both coils and arms. As they stood together, Crowley slowly coming back to himself, Aziraphale let out a little giggle. “We didn’t even make it to the bed…”

Well. Crowley responded by giving him a hard kiss and then a shove to the mattress. His arms were still very much tied behind his back. “So naive of you, to think this is over…”

[sonicasura]

I can work with that. Its just how it happened that eludes me, but something I can work on. Unfortunatly, like in real life that is something that happens in my au as well. Everyone who works at the sanctuary don't have the greates opinion about such things to put it mildly.

So lets go over the other numbered kaijus too. And this will be the last bit of what I have to share.

I've already told you a bit about 1, but heres another few facts. Much like in canon this kaiju is the oldest one found and some believe his pickyness comes from his old age, and being a bit of a grump as well due to his advanced age. He is also one of the biggest kaijus too, as he has his canon hight in this au. As such he has one of the biggest and special made enclosures.

With 2, 4 and 6 also needing big enclosures too given they as well have their canon size too. Kafka, along with 9 through 15 all have much smaller enclosures but still special in their own way.

1 is also in a similare situation like Kafka as the many eyed kaiju is the only know specimen of his breed as well, until a few years before Reno, Kikoru and the other joined in. Though 1's breed is still a mystery for at large even with more of his breed having been found. 1 can also not leave the sanctuary due to his advanced age has given him many complications.

2 is the second oldest and is still a prideful bastard to deal with. He usually causes the most damage thanks to tempermant issues thats never been properly dealt with as he was rescued from a really bad sanctuary. Isao was just a kid when 2 came along and somehow those two bonded strong. Isao is also the only human that can get away with punshing the kaiju in the face when said kaiju is misbaving. As a odd fondness with kids though, so is always on his best behavior when its visitng day with the local kindergarden and elementary school children.

4 actually has two enclosures, one found in the special section and one in the fourth's section. The later of which is basically a place for her to get some much needed exercise for her flying muscles given what she is based on. Her main enclosure allow some flying but its limited as it mainly acts as her nest in someways.

She is also one of the few kaijus you can take a ride with, as she has been trained for it since she was very young. Her breed is actually know for this as they can handle several people at once with little issue as long as they a trained right and given proper time to grow into the role.

She has a very close bond with Hikari, and is know to be very protective of her human who also acts as her pilot for the flying rides. The woman has a special license to allow this as is law. When the kaiju found out her human was pregnant, Isao and everyone had a hard time getting 4 to stop escaping her enclosures to check on the expecting mother for the whole pregnancy. And 4 had the cutes reaction when she got to meet baby Kikoru the first time.

6 is also a rescue from a bad situation and one that is only allowed visitors on certain days of the month. He don't take well to large crowds so you often has to get special passes to see him. And due to his ice nature, there are very special facilities in and near his enclosure as well to keep both him and the few humans he allows near him safe and comfortable.

He is also extremely territorial and don't get along with other kaijus very well. Kafka being the sole exception as the other kaiju foster him, 6 was very young when he was rescued but the truma and abuse has left its marks on the ice kaiju. Many believe that 6 was taken and seperated by his parents as soon as he was hatched the way he acts.

As for 9? He is a special case too. Though I'm still working out that bit and with the rest of the other numbered kaijus too. I've yet to figure them out nor how they play into their roles here in the au.

Got any suggestion Sonic?

I imagine No. 9 has the highest escape rate out of all the special kaiju. Kinda like zoo orangutans or red pandas. Due to his curiosity and libraries usually end up calling the sanctuary since he tends to pop up there. Kaiju 10-15 are his progeny as they spawned via spores.

He was rescued from a lab doing illegal experiments on kaiju. This includes the spores No. 9 can create which the scientists used to make his offspring as they were experimenting with DNA. It is thanks to how the six were made that the mushroom kaiju has no parental attachment to them.

That's what I think anyway.

[cynicalone94]

The kidnappers reach out to the team, giving them a glimpse of what this might be about.

Read Chapter 10 on AO3 here or below the cut.

The video is delivered a few hours later.

A courier drops it off downstairs and doesn’t have any information on who’d asked him to deliver it.

It had been dropped in a drop box at the company’s headquarters with the payment handled via a web portal.

They call the company, confirm the story and then cut the kid loose all within fifteen minutes.

Then they plug in the drive.

Wes is sitting on the floor in a small enclosure, hands pulled up over his head and tied to the chain link fencing.

Duct tape is pressed over his mouth and his head is tipped down on his chest.

“Mr. Martin has a big mouth.” a voice says. “Making promises that he knew he couldn’t keep.”

“While he was asking his son to help him out, we were doing a little digging.” another voice says. “A dozen Emergency Room visits before his tenth birthday, unexplained old injuries on his x-rays, reports to DCFS from teachers, doctors and nurses that were never followed up on, and so on.”

“Of course he wouldn’t give us what we need to protect the man who broke his jaw when he was eight years old, who.. what did he say, beat him with a belt when he was seven, threw him down the stairs when he was… he didn’t say how old but he mentioned an injury to his leg so based on his medical records that’s probably when he was five?” the first voice continues and they watch as Wes lifts his head slightly, anger in his eyes.

He’d never wanted them to know about this.

He’s always been private about his childhood, occasionally letting certain details slip when talking to victims or to explain something he’s noticed about a suspect, but overall keeping the past in the past.

In some ways, even with all the injuries that they can see in this video, the breach of his privacy is the cruelest thing that these bastards have done to him.

Recording a video talking about what his father had done to him as a child, driving them to pull records and look into the relationship and more.

“Agent Mitchell won’t give us what we want to save his father.” the first voice says. “And I don’t blame him. But perhaps you will consider sharing in order to save your friend. You can see that he’s alive, think about what it’s worth to you that he stays that way. We’ll be in touch.”

The screen goes dead and Cam lets out a breath.

“There’s a lot of background on that video.” Amanda says. “Give us some time, we might be able to pull something out of it that will held identify where they’re holding him.”

“Do you buy it?” Andre says, turning away from the screen. “Paul’s little innocent act.”

Smitty shakes her head.

“Ella said they’ve been talking about arranging a meeting for two months.” she reminds him. “He was planning something and I don’t think it was ever the innocent little ‘surprise, you’re dad is joining us for dinner’ that she thought.”

“But this wasn’t the plan from the start either.” Sean fills in. “Like I said, Paul is a gambler. He’s had problems with it for years. A lot of the times that he came at Wes when he was a kid were because he’d lost big and needed to work through some frustration. But if these people are leaning on Paul and offering Wes and his information about the case was his way of trying to get out from under whatever debt he owes, they wouldn’t have given him two months to line things up.”

“It tracks.” Andre says. “Jon Dionne has links to a gambling slash loan shark syndicate in Hungary.”

“But Sean’s right that they wouldn’t have given him two months.” Cam says. “He got in hot water, suggested that he was meeting up with his FBI son soon and plans changed.”

“Or maybe he wasn’t in debt already.” Sean says quietly.

They all turn to him.

“What are you thinking?” Cam asks.

“Surprising Wes at dinner was never going to work.” Sean says. “Wes is… he’s terrified of his father. The first time Paul violated the restraining order it was hours before the kid said a word that wasn’t the reluctant statement he made to the cops. Even once he stopped showing that fear on the surface, he walked away and called the police every. single. time.”

He shakes his head.

“If Paul had walked into that restaurant, Wes would have gotten up and walked out.” he says quietly. “The only way there was going to be a conversation is -”

“If Wes couldn’t leave.” Andre interrupts. “You think he asked Dionne’s guys to help him kidnap his own son. With the information on that witness as the payoff.”

“Now that Wes isn’t playing ball.” Cam adds. “They’re determined to collect however necessary and Paul’s in hot water with these guys.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about Paul Martin.” Sean says. “But you can’t let these animals kill my son.”

“We can’t give up the location of a fourteen year old girl either.” Andre says. “But maybe we can release fake information to draw them out. To find Wes.”

“I’ll reach out to HNP.” Smitty says. “Arrange either a fake safe house or to move Bria Weston and her family.”

“This is our best chance to get Wes back.” Cam says. “Let’s get it done.”

[wokeleftistmob]

[ID: Ten screenshots from various social media sites with characters from the Great Ace Attorney placed over top.

1. Susato says, "reminder that i'm very sweet and endearing so be nice to me". Ryunosuke replies, "or what". "or i'll punch your lights out".

2. Ryunosuke says in despair, "Forgot that I had asked my homie what kind of teddy grahams he wanted". Attached is a screenshot of DMs between Kazuma and Ryunosuke. Kazuma says, "Honey". Ryunosuke answers, "Yea wassup", then dejectedly adds, "Just realized u was saying the flavor u wanted. Not addressing me endearingly".

4. Kazuma says, "if ur hiking thru the woods anytime and u see me knife fighting w someone dont worry about involving urself or anything. its just me and my friends having a homoerotic bonding experience."

5. Van Zieks says, "You people love vampires so much but groan about how it gets dark so early now. Think about how w- they feel for a change".

6. Herlock speaks in all caps for the entire conversation. He asks, "Wat r ur adjectives". Ryunosuke responds, "U mean my pronouns??". "No I already kno ur pronouns wat r ur adjectives". "Uh I dunno? What r urs?". "Noisy an chaotic". "I've never had something go from making no sense 2 complete sense so fast".

7. Ryunosuke talks about Natsume, "no more catboys. catmen . 28 yr old washed up depressed catman downing his 5th whiskey glass and his cat ears twitch depressedly". Herlock responds talking about Van Zieks, "And then he pushes the empty glass forlornly off the counter".

8. Yujin Mikotoba talks about Sholmes. "this is my pet detective". "every couple of days i toss a pumpkin full of newspaper clippings into its enclosure". "it's all all dead ends of course but it's an important enrichment activity for it to construct its intricate red-yarn webs, as it might in the wild".

9. Enoch Drebber says, "bastard's degree". He then talks about Harebrayne, "bastard of sciences". Natsume adds on talking about Shamspeare, "motherfucker of arts".

10. Van Zieks calls Ryunosuke, "my esteemed rival,"; he calls Kazuma, "my beloved nemesis,"; and he calls Herlock "dearly detested".

11. Stronghart talks about Jigoku, "Been fucking this dude who is NOT CUTE LMAO but he is cool to hang out w & I be faking like I don't got me a little crush but I do 😊 I like his lil ugly ass. He's shot two people". End ID]

*picks up a gun on the floor of the crime scene so that i am immediately accused of doing murder*

[elizabeethan]

The Swan and her Handler

Emma Swan was cursed, and the only way to break it is with True Love's Kiss. Try breaking a curse with True Love's Kiss when you're a damn swan.

Yes, it's true, I've written a CS AU based on Walnut the Crane, a crane who fell in love with her handler. I'm ashamed at how idiotic this is. It’s by far the dumbest thing I've ever written in all my life. It’s nothing more than crack written in about an hour, un-betaed and barely edited. Sorry, and you’re welcome.

Rated T for language

~2000 words

Read my other stuff

Read on Ao3

These damn idiots can’t get anything right. It was bad enough when Emma showed up on their doorstep with perfectly clear care instructions that were completely ignored, but now they keep trying to get her to reproduce as if she’s some kind of zoo animal. 

  Of course, given her current living situation, it does make at least a tiny bit of sense. 

  Ever since the curse, Emma has been stuck in a wildlife refuge and has been unable to get any of her stupid caretakers to figure out how to help her. She knows exactly what she needs, but unfortunately, no one here speaks swan and she can’t exactly hold a pen. Her care instructions were translated upon her transformation, so the one thing that could have helped her now looks like chicken-- er, swan scratch. 

  “She needs a mate,” one of the jack asses points out. “She’ll probably want to mate for life.”

  True, she thinks, although, not with any of the stinky fluff balls you have sent my way.  

  First it was Neal. He tried to mate with her, so she killed him. Last week, they put Walsh in her enclosure, and she pecked at him violently until they took pity on him and sent him to the medical unit. 

  Although today seems different, because her newest caretaker has shown up, and she realizes that he just might be exactly what she’s been looking for. 

Emma Swan, unfortunately very appropriately named, requires a mate who can break her curse, True Loves Kiss the only thing that can bring her back to her truest form as a human adult woman. And when the new dark haired, stunning eyed veterinarian comes strutting into her enclosure, she hurries towards him to get a closer look at his name tag. 

  He jumps away, making some comment about her being fiery , and she blushes, squawking at him as she tries to get closer. Killian , it reads, and if she had lips and not a bill, she would smile. 

  “We think she’s depressed,” the stupid one with the big eyes says. “She’s killed every mate we’ve tried to pair her with.” 

  Good, she thinks. I must have done more damage on Walsh than I initially thought.  

  “You’re just misunderstood, aren’t you, love?” the angel-man asks, making her squawk in agreement. She thinks she could make this quick, this man obviously understanding her horrible twist of fate, so she lunges for him once more, trying hard to kiss his hand and hoping beyond hope that it will transform her back into the woman she's supposed to be. No more feathers, she prays. 

  He exclaims again, jumping and complaining of his hand hurting as she pecks him, so she rolls her eyes and squawks angrily. “Alright, darling,” he says with his hands up, his smooth, accented voice making her heart flutter inside her chest. Her breast? She knows very little about swan anatomy, despite having been turned into one. “Perhaps she’s stressed about her environment. Have you tried giving her a dark, quiet place to nest?” 

  “Not yet,” the dumbass admits. 

  The handsome one, Killian, a name she could get used to rolling off of her tongue, steps away from her, so she hurriedly follows. “Perhaps here in this corner will do.” 

  I would love to spend time in a dark corner with you, she thinks, giving the man what she hopes is a salacious smirk. She watches appreciatively as he sits down, crossing his legs as he starts to fiddle with some sticks as if she would be interested in them. Rather than helping him to make a nest out of the twigs and leaves, she plops herself right in his lap, nestling herself into his crossed legs and gazing up at his beautiful features, earning a smile from him. 

  “There we are, love,” he says happily, clearly surprised that she chose to plant herself upon him, although he shouldn't be. Just look at him, for god’s sake. “Comfortable?” 

  She squawks loudly, making him cringe, then fluffs her feathers in an attempt to gussy herself up for him. If she’s going to earn True Love’s Kiss from this perfect specimen, she’s going to have to work for it. The man chuckles as he looks down at her-- is he gazing? -- and lifts his hand slowly, placing a finger gently upon the top of her head and petting back down her neck, sending a chill down her spine, at least she thinks it’s her spine. She pushes her head towards him again, demanding more attention in an effort to get him to fall for her. It shouldn’t take long; she’s very enchanting. 

  “She’s never been this calm,” the dumb one says, making her snap her head towards him with a glare, shouting at him in disapproval. Killian shushes her soothingly, his finger softly stroking along her stupid feathers once more and making her shut her eyes. 

  “She just needed a bit of attention, it seems.” 

  “We’d best be careful,” someone else says, the bookworm who always thinks she knows everything about swan science. Of course, she probably knows more than Swan Emma. “We wouldn’t want her to imprint on you ,” she seems to joke. 

  “That’s quite alright, isn’t it love?” he asks her, essentially giving her permission to fall in love with this handsome bastard. 

  He comes by a few times a week for the next several months, each time sitting with her in her tiny, dirty nest and not seeming to care that his pants get soiled. She’s always careful to do her business elsewhere, making sure that her prince can sit in comfort when he arrives. She gets angry with him when he brings someone new, a sickly looking male named Graham who she assures is not welcome, so Killian gives up trying to get her to mate with someone. For some reason, they're concerned about her procreating, but she can assure everyone that she will not be giving birth to a damn swan baby while she’s under this curse. 

  One day, when Killian visits near the end of his shift, he’s finally alone, leaving behind the dumb one and the book worm and giving her all of the attention she desires as his strong hand softly pets along her soft feathers. She can’t wait to get rid of these stupid feathers. 

  “You’re quite funny,” he remarks as the sun starts to set. “Unlike any swan I’ve ever met.”

  She squawks at him-- I’m not a damn swan-- and he smiles. “Quire the personality. It always seems like you’re trying to communicate with me.” 

  Yes, you stupid handsome man, that’s exactly right! She tries to nod, lifting and dropping her head in quick succession and making the beauty laugh. She nudges her head against his hand in demand of more pets. 

  “What is it you want me to know, darling?” he asks gently, his voice soft and soothing and deep. 

  She groans, a sound that comes out like a pained cry, and his face shifts. “Are you alright, love?” 

  In pure frustration, Emma drops her head against the man’s chest, likely assaulting him with how badly she smells like bird shit, and he chuckles again, letting his hand run along her feathers some more. “There, there. I know life as a swan must be difficult. All you seem to want is for someone to listen.” 

  She looks up, hoping that her expression conveys her complete and utter irritation at the fact that he’s literally hitting the nail on the head and yet he has no idea. 

  “Such a personality,” he says again. “I’ve got to head home now, love. I’m looking forward to having Chinese for dinner. Perhaps I'll bring you an eggroll tomorrow, or is that insensitive?” 

  She squawks, half because she’s laughing, and half because she would quite literally kill another potential mate for an eggroll. Wanting to beg him not to go, she gives him her best sad face through her inability to emote, and nestles her head against his palm one more time. 

  “I’ll sneak you one, love,” he laughs, and as he does, he finally, finally , leans down towards her, and plants his stupid, dumb, lucious lips upon the top of her stinky bird head. 

  Cramps start to run through her whole stupid bird body, the same ones she felt when she was cursed on Halloween decades ago. He stands, not seeming to notice her pain and discomfort until he’s a few steps away, and he turns back around. “Swan, are you alright?” he asks, as if she could answer, and she shouts back at him wordlessly. 

  She praises whatever gods might be listening as she feels things start to change, her feathers shedding as her skin is exposed to the chilly fall air. The webbing between her toes retracts, her legs turning flesh colored rather than that horrifying orange. Her bill turns back into her nose and mouth, preparing her to smooch her savior rather than peck at him. Finally, she’s back!

  “Bloody fucking hell,” Killian breathes as he stares on, Emma transforming back into her old self, laying in a heap on the ground as she brushes off the dirt and twigs and leaves. 

  “You did it,” she praises before clearing her throat, raw from misuse after all these years. She grins at him as she’s been wanting to since they met, and is met with a horrified, shocked look on his face. His jaw is gaping, his eyes wide as they catch the light of the setting sun. “I knew you would.” 

  “What the fuck?” 

  “You broke the curse,” she says happily, standing up and exposing her nude form to him, cursing the lack of feathers although she vowed she never would. Immediately, he removes his jacket, despite his shock still clearly running through him, and hands it to her. 

  “I did what now?”

  “I was cursed. Why do you think I was such a miserable swan?” 

  He’s looking around, his mouth snapping shut and dropping open in succession as he tries to process the fact that there was a swan in the enclosure just a second ago, and now there’s a frankly beautiful, naked woman standing before him. “You were cursed,” he says doubtfully. 

  “Yes, I was. An evil witch cursed me on Halloween decades ago and I've been stuck in that infernal bird form ever since. All I needed was True Love’s Kiss to break it, but imaging trying to fall in love with someone as a damn bird.” 

  “So you… you fell in love… with me…?” 

  “Obviously,” she smiles, taking a step towards him on shaky legs, tripping and falling into his waiting arms as he catches her, careful not to grope her, although she isn’t sure she would mind. “And you broke the curse, so… Do I have to tell you what that means?”

  “I-- I’m having a lot of trouble processing the fact that I've evidently been in love with a swan for months.” 

  “Well, my name is Emma Swan, so you can be in love with a Swan for the rest of your life, if you’d like.” 

  “Emma,” he murmurs, staring into her eyes and smiling when he seems to recognize her. She’s never been able to see herself in the mirror, because the book worm was worried she would attack it, but based on the way he’s staring, she would guess that the evil witch let her keep her eyes. “Do you know it just happens to be Halloween tonight?”

  “Kismet,” she says softly, gazing up at him. He lifts his hand like he did while she was planted in his lap, and she’s finally able to feel his calloused finger along the skin of her cheek, then of her neck, just as he had done before. 

  “Aye,” he agrees. “The spirit of the holiday does make this whole thing a bit easier to accept.” 

  “Yeah,” she says dismissively. “Now take me home. I was promised an eggroll and I haven't eaten anything but grass and stale bread in almost thirty years.”

~~~~

Tagging (with apologies):

@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere @alexa-fangirl-forever @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice @batana54 @sailtoafarawayland @deckerstarblanche @zaharadessert @xarandomdreamx @pirateprincessofpizza @captainswan21 @hookedmom @lostintheskyfaraway @undercaffinatednightmare @strangestarlighttree

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

I always wondered how the foxes would react to finding out that it was andrew that "hit on" neil first (specially Kevin, since he was just standing right there while that happened)

(now, i don't think they would willing just talk about it but if one of them slip up...)

Btw: i absolutely adored the goodbye kisses series

AHHH sorry for being so MIA lately but i'm absolutely loving this! also i'm realizing that i'm very bad at actually getting to the point so enjoy a shit ton of irrelevant exposition :)

read it on ao3 here

— ··· —

Kevin didn't understand why they had to come to the zoo. It was smelly, there were kids screaming everywhere, and he'd nearly been stepped on three times in the past 10 minutes. He much rather preferred exy to this.

Team bonding sucked.

He trudged along beside Aaron as Dan, Matt, and Nicky actually tried socializing with the new Foxes. Normally, Kevin would jump at the chance to talk about exy with these recruits, but also, normally he didn't feel like he'd just just rolled through a flaming dumpster filled with screeching, pooping monkeys.

Kevin let out a sigh as they passed some sort of mildly interesting snake exhibit. He nudged Aaron, who was on his phone with a red face, which meant he was either texting lovey-dovey things to Katelyn or blasting an idiot in his Ochem class. You never really knew with him.

"Aaron."

Aaron just scowled at him. Kevin sighed again. Conversing was always so much more exhausting than he anticipated.

"Snakes."

"What."

"Do you want to... see the snakes?"

Aaron blinked in confusion. "Okay?"

Kevin led them to the snakes.

There, they shoved past some families and made it to the front of the glass enclosure.

"Well?" Aaron asked. "Now what do we do?"

Valid question, Kevin thought. He hadn't really considered what they were doing. He just wanted to see snakes.

He told Aaron as much, who rolled his eyes aggressively and went back to his phone.

Kevin felt a tap on his shoulder and twisted around, coming face-to-face (well, more like chest-to-face) with some sort of tour or information guide.

"Hi!" she smiled all too brightly. Kevin wanted to cover his eyes. "How are you enjoying the exhibition?"

"Um," Kevin gulped eloquently, then remembered his media training. "Oh yeah, it's great!"

"Awesome," she beamed. "You know, there's a snake feeding session in about 5 minutes if you and your son are interested."

Kevin's face contorted in confusion. He whirled around, assuming some tiny, lost child was latched near him, but when he turned back, the lady — Sandy — had her gaze intensely focused on the only other small person near him: Aaron.

Oh dear.

Aaron seemed to come to the same conclusion as Kevin did because his eyes widened comically and he hissed "I. am. not. his. son."

Sandy blinked owlishly. "Little brother then?"

Aaron threw his hands up. "I am 21! Leave me alone." He then proceeded to stomp out of the enclosure, dragging Kevin along and leaving a very flummoxed old lady behind them.

"I can't believe it," Aaron kept muttering. "Your son. Your son! I hate life."

Kevin was a bit miffed that he hadn't actually been able to see the snakes, but he figured Aaron's plight was slightly more significant than that.

After a few moments of silent walking (Kevin) and angry grumbing (Aaron), Kevin realized he couldn't see any of the Foxes anymore. He glanced around, instinctively searching for Andrew.

"Hey, do you know where Andrew and Neil went?" Kevin asked.

Aaron scoffed. "They're probably making out somewhere."

"Who's making out?"

Aaron and Kevin both gave unholy screeches as they turned around to find Nicky standing between them, a wide, innocent grin on his face.

"What the fuck," Aaron complained. "Don't do that again, you bitch."

Nicky waved him off. "Shut up. Who's making out? Might be able to close some bets."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "We just can't find Andrew and Neil anywhere. Aaron seems to believe they're off deflowering a zoo Port-A-Potty or something."

"Well then, we wouldn't want to interrupt them, right?" Nicky winked. "Anyways, we're all going to the butterfly exhibit right now so y'all have to join us. I'm not taking no for an answer."

It seemed that they had no choice, so after sharing a resigned glance, Kevin and Aaron trudged behind an overly enthusiastic Nicky while he babbled on about some parrots that he saw. It really didn't seem as interesting as Nicky was making it out to be, but Kevin didn't want to say anything lest he was expected to participate in the conversation too.

They finally reached the butterfly exhibit where the other Foxes were waiting for them. They entered as a mass of loud, mildy buff, smelly athletes and got more than a few glares from the parents of young children who moved out of the way.

But in all this movement, the path cleared and Kevin found... Andrew and Neil? He was about to turn to Aaron and tell him that they evidently not making out, until he noticed how still Andrew was standing and the glee on Neil's face.

Nicky's gaze caught onto them a second later, because he squealed and grabbed Kevin's arm, jabbing his finger at the sight.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Is that a butterfly on Andrew's nose? That is adorable."

Kevin squinted, and yes, that's exactly what it appeared to be. Nicky's outburst had caught Allison's attention, and she began marching over to Neil and Andrew, the rest of the Foxes in tow.

Kevin could already tell this was going to be a mess.

When they finally reached Andrew, Aaron was the first to speak. "What the fuck?" he asked flatly. Andrew glared at him. Slowly, as to not move the butterfly, he raised his hand to gently flip off his brother.

Nicky immediately started cooing. "Aww, don't worry Andrew! I think you look adorable."

Andrew began slipping out a knife.

On Allison's left, Kevin saw Dan practically shaking with laughter as she pulled out her camera and snapped a picture.

Neil opened his mouth, probably to tell off Dan but Nicky rushed in to talk to him.

"Soooo," he waggled his eyebrows. "I didn't know you could see the future, Neil."

Neil stared at him blankly and turned back to Andrew as he pulled out a map, but Nicky rallied on.

"Like, you must have been able to predict that one day Andrew was going to be this adorable. That's why you asked him out, right?"

"What?" Neil asked distractedly. "I never asked him out."

Kevin blinked in surprise. After a moment's consideration, he realized that considering how utterly oblivious Neil could be, it really was no shocker that Andrew had to ask him out first.

"Wait wait wait," Matt shook his head. "So Andrew asked you out?"

Neil waved them off as he continued squinting at the map he was holding. "Yes yes, just go ask Kevin, he was there."

All eyes turned to Kevin. Kevin was very lost.

"What the fuck," Aaron repeated. "I'm so confused."

"Me too," Kevin muttered. "Me too."

— ··· —

After their long day at the zoo was over, the Foxes finally began the trudge back up to their respective dorms. The younger Foxes dozed off immediately, but the older Foxes gathered in the girls' room to drop off the bags they had borrowed for the trip.

In all the commotion, no one really noticed Andrew and Neil leaving together. But right before they slipped out the door, Renee caught sight of them.

"Good night, you two!" she called. Neil turned around and gave her a tired wave, his body slumped on Andrew.

"Wait!" Nicky scrambled off the sofa. "Before I forget: Neil, how did Andrew ask you out?"

Neil blinked sleepily. "Well," he slurred. "He asked if he could blow me."

The room went silent.

Andrew heaved a sigh and dragged Neil out the door, leaving seven wide-eyed, very much awake athletes in their wake. Slowly, everyone turned to Kevin.

"You!" Allison weakly jabbed a finger in his direction. "You knew about this!"

Too late, Kevin realized what Neil's statement meant. Andrew had asked out Neil in front of Kevin. By offering sex. Nothing could have possibly ruined Kevin's night as much as this information had.

He met the Foxes' eyes slowly. Even Renee looked a bit surprised at Neil's admission, but she was clearly biting back a smile. "Trust me," Kevin groaned. "If I had known this had happened, I would have won myself so many bets."

"Damn," Nicky sighed. "I wish Erik and I had such an iconic story. Who knew the quiet, stabby cousin was such a horny gay bastard?"

"I," Aaron announced hotly. "have never wanted to forget a conversation more than this one."

"But Aaron. Andrew asked to blow him."

"Nicky, I swear— "

"OH MY GOD. They're probably having sex right now! Kevin, could you— "

Aaron put his head in his hands. "Please shut up now."

[archangeldraws]

Reunion- Part two

A King Ghidorah fanfiction

Doraut AU

The human crew watches in awe and shock, as all of Ghidorah's heads lean towards their ship and look closely at the woman standing on the railing. She stretches an arm out, placing her hand on the beast's snout and smiles, tears streaking her face. She didn't look scared. Happy even. It was as if seeing a mother being reunited with her lost child. The thought itself was just absurd. How could a human be so happy to get this close to Monster Zero? That thing killed so many people, tried to take over the world, controlled other Titans and ordered them to destroy everything in their path. He even tried to kill Godzilla and died at his hand. Then some insane rich maniacs used his leftover parts to built a robot, again to kill Godzilla and that thing came back to life! How could this strange woman, who they'd only know for a few months and didn't know about any of the things that happened in the last 10 years be so eager to meet this murderous being?!

King Ghidorah studies the little being in front of him, as if he'd never seen a human before. The fact he's just been standing there for minutes, staring down at them and hadn't attacked yet was a miracle in on itself. Usually, and everyone knew it, Ghidorah attacks on sight. Usually, there was no hesitation. But this time the dragon seems unsure on what to do. The middle head's tongue snakes out, tasting the air. It was as if the woman and the beast were talking, without using words. She had explained to them before, that she could communicate with Ghidorah via telepathy since she was a child. And it.... It used to be her pet. What a strange thought. How could this being have ever been someone's pet? It's been on this world, encased in ice for 20.000 years and she says she was Ghidorah's old master and came from the future, 1.000 years from now. This doesn't make ANY sense!

Someone screams as Monster Zero's tongue lashes forwards, wrapping around the woman and picking her up. For a second they think it's trying to swallow her and they raise their weapons, ready to shoot. But it doesn't. It just... turns around and casually walks back to the mountain it came from. It didn't attack them, just... Took the woman and left. That's.... weird. “Should.... Should we do something, Sir?” A soldier turns to his commander, waiting for orders. The man that was his superior shakes his head. “No. She asked us not to do anything if we aren't in danger. Even if it killed her, we are not to engage. She wanted this. Monarch's orders.” Everyone on board stood still, not daring to move just yet. No one has every gotten this close to Monster Zero and lived to tell the tale. It's behavior was very unusual. They have to report this. In their fear they didn't even notice the rumble that came from the left head. A low grumbling sound from deep within it's throat. Like a purr.

Ghidorah leaves the ship behind. Ni thought if thrashing it with a tail, but Ichi decided against it. “Leave it be.”, he told his brother. He moves back up the mountain, back into their cave. He lays down, the middle head bending down to carefully release the tiny being wrapped in his tongue and looks at her with his usual emotionless expression. San was shaking with excitement. He wanted to dash forward and headbutt the human. Like he used to as a Dorat. Some old habits are hard to kill. But he restrains himself. Because now his happy greeting would crush her to mush, if he did so. “Explain yourself. How are you here?” Ni squints his eyes at the woman, not sure if he should be happy or angry. He decided on angry. “How are you still alive? We thought you died a long time ago. If you've been alive this whole time, why didn't you come sooner?! WHY?!” Ni roars, angry and hurt. Eva sighs, collecting herself and stands up straight. “I know you're angry and confused. I will explain everything. Things are not as you think.” “HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE THINK?! YOU GAVE UP ON US! YOU ABANDONED US!!” “Ni, please. I didn't abandon you! Let me explain.” “EXCUSES!” “Brother, calm down! Let her talk. We'll decide what to do, after.” Ichi towers over Ni, looking down on his brother in a dominating manner. He's telling him to stay quiet. Ni huffs, seething with anger but he bends down submissively. For now.

After taking in a deep breath, Eva sits down on the ground. “Do you still remember the day everything changed? When they took you from me? It was horrible. I still remember the looks on your faces as my parents handed you over, just like that. They sold you. They didn't know what they wanted with you, but they didn't really ask either. All we knew was, that the government needed you to 'help mankind', but I didn't buy it. Why would they need Dorats to help mankind? Dorats were just pets, like cats or dogs. I didn't understand. I was just a child.... But I did promise I would come for you. And I kept my promise. Since that day I have been working hard to get you back. I studied hard in school, helped in charities and got in contact with activists. Anything that could have something to do with the government and Dorats. Over the years I managed to find my way to different kinds of people, until I ended up with a rebel group. We had some things in common. Like me they knew something was up, something bad. That our country's leaders were keeping secrets and doing things that were more than illegal. Like me... They had lost their Dorats. I figured out there was a pattern. All the Dorats that were taken had strong psychic abilities. So we collected more information, as discretely as we could. Some of them had connections. We found out that there was a secret lab, hidden down below Mount Fuji. We heard of terrible experiments going on there. That they were working on a biological weapon to take out Godzilla. That was their plan. They wanted to create a titan, one that was stronger than the king of the monsters, to take his place. A new king. One they could control. That's why they chose Dorats for their experiments. Because, unlike other animals, Dorats were a man made being, one that was more intelligent and easy to control through it's mind. Project: King Ghidorah.”

“How did you know we were still alive?” San snakes closer, looking sad. The information they were getting was very different to what they knew. Not that they knew much. The memories of their abuse was pushed back as far as possible, not wanting to remember what had been done to them. Then again, there were many blackouts in their memory.

“Like I said, the other rebels too, had lost their beloved Dorats. But the difference between them and you was, after some time, they had received their Dorats back. In urns....” she chuckles, though not in an amused way. “Those sick bastards. After their experiments failed, they burned the bodies and send their ashes back to their owners. So they could 'mourn' them. I never received yours. So I was clinging to the hope that you were still alive. Even years later. But.... There have been days I wished I would wake up to seeing three little urns standing on my dresser. Then you wouldn't be in pain anymore...” She coughs, rubbing some tears from her face. “I've been working with the rebel group secretly for about 2 years, taking on some Taekwan do classes, learning how to use a weapon, how to work computers... I was getting ready to come and get you. We managed to get some connections within the secret facilities. People who, like us, knew that this was wrong. And people who had changed their minds and sided with us. We snuck in. We thought we were prepared. And we were too proud. I lost many good friends that day. They either died or were taken.... I'm not proud of the things I've done. I left them behind and just kept on pushing forward. I was so determined on getting to you, I lost a bit of myself on the way... When I finally reached you... I didn't know what to think. You were no longer my three little boys, but instead.... A monster.”

Eva looks up to face Ghidorah once more, trying to read their faces. San looks sad. Ichi looks unmoved. But there was a glint in his eye. If he was feeling anything, he was hiding it very well. Ni... Ni always wore his anger on his sleeve. And now it wasn't any different. “Monster... Yes. Nothing we haven't heard before.” Ichi frowns a little. As if hearing that word come from her mouth actually hurt, for once. “We.... We don't remember any of this... You came for us? Why can't we remember seeing you?” San wore a strained look on his face, as if trying hard to remember something, searching his mind for anything. But there was nothing. “You can't remember because... You weren't there. Your body was, but your minds were.... trapped, or something. It was as if you were a zombie. I shouted your names. I touched you. I even kicked and punched you, just to get any kind of reaction! But there was nothing. Your eyes were so lifeless... When I found you... You were in some kind of underground enclosure. A prison, really. Chained down in every way possible, so you wouldn't be able to even move an inch. Not that you could anyway. When my touch and my voice couldn't reach you, I tried feeling for your minds. But they were just as empty as your eyes. But still, I knew you were still in there, somewhere. I could feel it! I tried to free you, releasing all those chains, but I didn't have enough time. Some of the scientists found me and attacked me. In the middle of our fight we somehow... activated something. I hadn't noticed it before, but they had managed to, I don't know how... Create a time portal. And that thing was big. Big enough for you to fit.” “A time portal? For what?” Ichi looks at her as if she was an alien, saying she was coming in peace. “That's the thing. They wanted you to kill Godzilla and take his place as the new alpha titan. But you weren't strong enough to take him on just yet. So they had the brilliant idea to send you back in time and kill him when he was younger and weaker. And then to use you to control all the titans and become the strongest power on the whole planet. But before they could get you ready, I destroyed their plans. In our struggle, the last of your restrains came lose and you were sucked into the portal.... Ichi, Ni, San... You were send back in time, 20.000 years from now. But we, you and I, were originally from the time 3025... We actually come from the future.”

It seems like those news actually shocked the golden demise, as Ghidorah sits down, taking all of this in. “Then.... How are YOU here?” Ni asks, looking tired from too much information. “I got sucked in as well. But the portal was unstable and kept changing its time settings and coordinates every few seconds. So I actually landed here a few months ago. We left at the same time, but now there is a time difference of 20.000 years between us. It's unbelievable that after so long, you are still alive! I almost gave up on finding you again. When they told me Godzilla destroyed you.... And how your brain was used for a robot... And how you came back to life. I-... I couldn't believe it, really. But here you are! And we can talk again! Our link is still there... I'm-.... I'm so happy to see you.” Eva chokes on her words, tears swelling up in her eyes again. “To hear your voices after all those years, it's like a dream. And I hope I never wake up from this!” “You... You're not scared of us?” San leans down, sniffing her. “I could never be scared of you.” “We could kill you, you know. We are no longer those Dorats you knew. We are no ones pet. We are KING Ghidorah!” Ichi says this, in a matter of facts. “I know... I know you could. And I came prepared. If you want me dead, you can kill me. I don't mind. I just wanted to see you, one last time.” Her voice is shaking. Not from fear, but from happiness. Happy to see them. King Ghidorah, Monster Zero, the golden demise, the one that is many. King Killer. Ichi, Ni and San. She sits before them, ready to receive death. She's happy, now that she got what she wanted. Seeing them, talking to them. Letting them know that her love for them was so strong, that she is willing to die at their claws if it makes them happy.

Ghidorah lies down on the ground, placing his three heads in front of the human before them. “Know this. If you leave us again, then we WILL kill you. Understood?” Eva looks up at Ichi. Even though he just threatened her, he didn't say it with as much malice as he normally would. He even smirked a little. “You better stay. Or WE will come find you this time!” Ni snarls, but the sound that came from him was more a purr than a growl. “We missed you.” San licked her carefully and purred even louder.

A few hours later, the ship was still there, the crew watched Ghidorah emerge from his cave again and approaching them. Did he kill her after all? Is he coming for them next? King Ghidorah growls at them, but the middle head reaches down once more. On his head? The woman. And she looks very much alive. She waves and shouts at them. “Thank you for helping me! I'll be staying here now. But maybe you can do me another favor? I'll be needing some necessities. Food, clothes, shelter and all that. You got a tent on there somewhere?”

What a strange request. A human, living among Kaiju? No human was ever allowed to step foot on this island. But this was good. With Eva living on Monster Island and with Ghidorah as her protector, they could study them even better. What's the cost of food, clothing and some electronics and everything she asks for in return for such valuable information? She even promised to help them study Ghidorah more, if he doesn't kill her. As long as they swear not to harm him in any way or use the information against him. So they hook her up with everything she needs. They built a new Monarch outpost near the island, nothing too big and send a small boat towards the island once a week to bring their new 'co-worker' everything she needs. At first she got a big tent that was placed inside the cave. Then Ghidorah allowed some humans to bring containers, to make a makeshift house inside his cave, so Eva could be warm during winter. But they were still cautious. They learned pretty quickly that Monster Zero only allows them near him as long as Eva was there as well. If she wasn't, he would revert back to his old behavior and attack any human vessel coming closer. But they can work with that. And the things they learned was important to them, to understand titans and help the world understand and live with them peacefully. Especially the weekly reports they received from Eva about what Ghidorah was up to, how he interacted with other titans, even Godzilla himself. Which they noticed, would apparently come and check up on the dragon. They learned that Godzilla seemed very surprised to find a human with Ghidorah. Eva also managed to snap some really interesting photos on that island. Of kaiju sub-species they haven't seen before and even selfies with Ghidorah AND Godzilla in the background. Even better when she send them photos of Rodan, who came to visit and Mothra as well. Knowing titans act so human like to visit each other and talk like friends was just... funny.

Read part 1 here- https://archangeldraws.tumblr.com/post/649687984452648960/reunion

(Eva is my human OC)

Do not repost my stuff

[ren1327]

Screamtober Day 12 Day 12: Attic

Fandom: Sherlock

John Watson is unfortunately caught in the crosshairs of a demented man, trapped in his attic with Sherlock's latest client Helen Stoner, Mrs. Hudson and Rosie.

----------------------------------

"I'm so sorry, Dr. Watson..." Miss Stoner whimpered from atop a beam.

Mrs. Hudson held a crying Rosie as she sat atop an old wardrobe.

"Not to worry, Helen." John huffed, desperately trying to reach a display sword as three agitated snakes hissed below.

John reached from his place on a stool on top of a table, pulling back when a snake leapt upward towards his arm. He gasped and stood up.

"John!" Mrs. Hudson called. "Go for a beam!"

He nodded and reached up to grab a beam and with some effort, pull himself to lay on it. He looked over at Rosie and Mrs. Hudson and smiled sadly.

"It's okay, Rosie." He said as the baby hiccupped and sucked her thumb.

"Oh, Mrs. Hudson!" Helen yelled, pointing at a snake climbing the front of the wardrobe.

Mrs. Hudson gasped and carefully made a basket with her legs for Rosie as she took off her waist cinch belt, grabbing it by the end and pulling Rosie close to her chest.

She snapped it at the snake when it lunged at her and the baby, the buckle smacking it in the face and throwing it to the floor, it's body twitching.

"You broke it's bloody neck! Well done, Mrs. Hudson!" John said. "Two more to go."

He looked at a bookshelf and noticed a snake slithering under it's shadow. He scoot his body up the beam and kicked at it, the heavy wood creaking as it fell on top of the snake, blood spattering the wall.

Mrs. Hudson looked up at Helen and carefully passed her Rosie, looking around the wardrobe for the final snake.

John also looked around.

They heard a door slam open downstairs.

"Sh-Sherlock?!" John yelled. "Up here! There's a snaa-"

John lost his balance and rolled over, landing hard on the table, then the floor.

He groaned and gasped, face to face with the yellow snake with brown speckles.

"Oh...oh shit...." He shuttered as the snake reared up.

It suddenly was yanked backward and Mrs. Hudson cried out as it bit her legs as she held it's tail. She released it and it reared up again towards John before a shovel came down on it, its jaw flexing before it went still, it's head flopping away from its body.

Sherlock panted and looked around, shovel held up like an axe.

"That was the last one. Mrs. Hudson!"

"Here, give me your leg." He said and took out a syringe, injecting just above her boot. "Looks like you only got one of I'd say, three strikes?"

"My boots and stockings kept my shins safe." She murmured as she was sat in an old rocking chair.

"Wait, how did you know to get anti venom?" John asked.

"The doctors notes from the late Miss Stoner matched poison. But not through food. She said "speckled band" before she died. Roylott bred a special breed of viper, Russel's Viper to be exact to be drawn to both sister's perfume."

"My stepfather...he...why?" She asked as paramedics came in, one checking over Mrs. Hudson.

"$750,000, 000 left by your late mother. Per her will, when you marry, you get a third. That's why Roylott killed your sister and tried to kill you and the people investigating him."

"And where is the bastard?" Helen asked, fighting angry tears.

"Dead in the enclosure. The snakes will be destroyed and per the will, you and your husband will have the whole inheritance."

"Does it matter at this point?" She asked and covered her face.

Sherlock took Rosie from her arms.

"If anything. Thank you for protecting our daughter." He said and she smiled.

"I'll get married and Donovan and I can move out of that dreadful house and maybe have our children we can love unconditionally."

"Sherlock." John said and hugged Rosie.

"Come now John, let's leave Lestrade to it. I think Mrs. Hudson can use some company in the hospital and some rest after." he said.

Mrs. Hudson smiled and reached out to pet Rosie's cheek.

"Good thing you got that antivenom." John said.

"I couldn't have our favorite landlady have tissue damage." Sherlock said and pulled John close by the shoulder as they and Rosie were escorted into the ambulance, Sherlock ignoring his beeping phone as he smiled at Mrs. Hudson and squeezed her hand.

[a-flickering-soul]

do kylux for the ask meme 😳 you + me = mental illness

i love you so much for sending this in this truly is the mortifying ordeal of being known

putting this under a readmore because it is LITCHERALLY 1.2k words because i am literally clawing at the walls of my enclosure about these two

ANYWAYS go ahead and send me a character and i’ll give you some headcanons bc im having fun doing these!!!

Kylo Ren

Sexuality Headcanon: ambiguously queer. Don’t make me think about him having sex he makes me so angry

Gender Headcanon: he Must be a cis man. He has so much mommy issues. He is such an incel. He is so full of toxic masculinity. He must be a cis man.

A ship I have with said character: Kylux. Every single angle you take this ship from it’s funny and good. Canon—they hate each other and want each other dead. AU—they still hate each other but they’re (probably) less fascist and genocidal. It’s just so funny. They are so obsessed with each other. They gaslight each other into love confessions. It’s unreal. I’ve been thinking about Kylux for the past month and I feel like an entire geological age has passed. You can tell I’m a Kylux shipper and a R*ylo anti because I almost exclusively refer to him as Ren instead of Kylo. The gay angel went to superhell for Kylux to go canon in Lego Star Wars (twice) and a kids’ comic book. God mocks me to my face.

A BROTP I have with said character: This got literally shot to shit but post-TFA when a bunch of people headcanoned Rey as Luke’s kid and she and Ren were cousins and he reluctantly babysat her because he was literally ten years older than her (hhhhh.) and they had this weird mildly-contentious relationship as adults where they grudgingly acknowledge they are both the most powerful Force users in the galaxy and are the only ones who mutually understand the legacy they bear and care about each other but also cannot be in the same room together and hold a civil conversation for more than five minutes before resorting to uncomfortable silence. Like when you’re at a family reunion and you’re automatically shunted with the only other kid around your age so you have to make conversation but you are just so fundamentally different there’s nothing to talk about. Unreal.

A NOTP I have with said character: Hhh. R*ylo. I’m one of those evil lesbians who hate that ship viciously and one of my dreams is to be one of the mean antis that that bully a shipper in a story that’s clearly exaggerated or made up and then get cancelled for having good taste.

A random headcanon:  I think he and Phasma used to spar a lot. I keep thinking about the five years he spent on the Finalizer pre-canon and I can’t reasonably justify the Knights of Ren hanging out with him for the entire time on a literal military ship and I like the idea of them being the only people that are reasonably on par physically (I also like how Phasma is an inch taller than him because....whew).

General Opinion over said character: God. He drives me wild. I have a lot of thoughts about him and how good he was in TFA and the pre-canon comics/novels as a really fucking good example of a morally-conflicted villain (especially the comics where it made it really clear that he was very much manipulated and gaslit since like…ten years old). Like! The way he could flip at will from drawing strength from both the light AND dark side of the Force is just!! So cool! The way his strength literally derives from moral conflict is just really interesting to me but….idk the way post-TFA he was thrown into a redemption (Rendemption) arc that hinged on Rey being a literal genuine fascist sympathizer made me just really disappointed. He had a lot of amazing potential to be either a really interesting semi-redeemed Byronic antihero OR a full on unhinged animalistic power-mad villain that Rey has to mercy-kill like a rabid dog. And then. Well. Yeah. I like him a lot in very specific contexts and flat out hate him in most others.

 Armitage Hux

Sexuality Headcanon: gay! He is gay! I have an entire list of reasons why he’s gay and it grows daily! Without a doubt a homosexual! Gay and repressed!

Gender Headcanon: Also a cis guy even though I still do have a lot of half-formed thoughts about gender in the First Order/post-collapse of the Empire society.

A ship I have with said character: Kylux! Again! I’m obsessed with how obsessed Hux is with Ren. He hates him so much it’s unreal. I keep reading the novelizations and thinking so fucking hard about how consumed Hux is with hatred for this one man. He’s so repressed. He’s so damaged. It’s unreal. The brainworms in my head have metamorphosed into moths and they’re flapping their wings so hard they’re disintegrating my grey matter. I think near-daily about how he personally went down to retrieve Ren from the collapse of Starkiller Base and yet would not touch him to drag him to shelter in the Hux graphic novel. Would you take off your glove to check his pulse or would you attempt to feel it through the leather and touch something’s dead skin rather than his living warmth. I’m so deeply unwell.

A BROTP I have with said character: Him and Phasma!!! The way they are on first-name terms with each other….the way one of the few times in the graphic novels you see him smile is when Phasma comes back onto the base…..the way they plotted to kill Brendol together….truly evil mlm/wlw solidarity you simply love to see it

A NOTP I have with said character: Oof I see a lil bit of shipping him with Resistance members (I think I’ve seen him with Rose and also Poe??) and I know TROS made the decision to have him defect from the First Order (out of. again. his obsessive hatred with another man. writing choices.) but it makes me INSANELY uncomfortable seeing people of color being shipped with a literal fascist parody of British colonialism and imperialism lmao like….just ship Kylux bro they’re mutually bad people AND a power couple

A random headcanon: Frankly at this point I joke so much about how much like a sick Victorian orphan he looks like that I could write an entire fake medical file for him but I’ll spare you all and simply say that I am incredibly partial to the headcanon that Hux is a freak that bites string cheese instead of peeling it like a normal person. Also…the implications that he Personally placed the tracker in Ren’s belt rather than someone else, so that he alone could keep tabs on him…..I’m unwell. Enough.

General Opinion over said character: If Ren is a character I love to hate, Hux is a character I hate that I love. I just. I can’t stop thinking about this gay little war criminal. It truly, genuinely baffles the mind how much information there is about him. It triggers that same little part of my brain that goes wild over like. ARGs and stuff. There’s just so much lore. With every new piece of canon or semi-canon information I learn about him I can feel my grip on sanity slipping. He owns a black robe. He has a personal hitman in the First Order ranks to poison people he doesn’t like. He drinks tea. He’s a bastard son. He’s great with kids. He was in charge of a squad of feral orphan child soldiers at five years old. I just. I just don’t get it. I’m enamored with him. His compulsive attention to grooming. His hubris. His ambition. How literally unhinged he is (the “rabid cur” line genuinely lives in my head rent free). The way he systemically killed every single person who saw him weak and abused as a child. There’s just so much to talk about with him. He’s so evil. He’s so fucked up. I love him so deeply. He is such a horrible person and he is so fun to make fun of and he is so fun to think about. God wants there to be a bullet in my head so badly.

[river--glass]

Reylo Fic Recommendations: Monster Edition

In honor of Spooky Season, I wanted to make a list of fics in which one or both of them are more than human. Cryptids and creatures and monsters galore. (This one is for you, monsterfuckers.)

Demons

Count the Rings by Lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora). (E, Modern, 63K) When camping with her friends, Rey jokingly decides to marry a tree thats rumored to hold the spirit of a trapped man. Spoiler alert, the legends were true. Featuring accidental marriage, demon deals, and soft soft demon Ben. Sure there’s some angst and danger but this is mostly sweet and wonderful and Rey having dreams come true.

The Hand That Feeds by persimmone. (E, Victorian, 46K) Rey has managed to avoid unwanted male attention for thirty years, until the opening of a mysterious artifact burdens her with an accidental husband. Luckily, her new consort is not the average man. Or better, he's not... human. Featuring eldritch abomination Kylo who is so sweetly in awe and reverent of human Rey despite being powerful and older than the universe. And who also has... a tentacle form.

All The Ashes by neonheartbeat. (E, Modern, 37K) Rey, living in a terrible Brooklyn apartment and desperate to escape, posts a Craiglist ad as a half-joke seeking a marriage of convenience to just get the hell out of the country. It's unexpectedly answered by a mysterious Romanian count. Featuring soft monster Kylo, good friend Hux, and beauty and the beast elements. I loved this soft Kylo and thirsty Rey.

I Will Always Find You by kuresoto. (E, Modern, 24K) Featuring Lilith!Rey and Lucifer!Kylo. I love this. They fuck like monsters (and as monsters!) and Rey is the queen of hell and they're so viciously in love. Read It!!

Deliciously by @secretreylotrash. (E, Colonial, 18K) Puritan/Salem Witch Trials/The VVitch Inspired. Witches, demon Kylo, orgies, death... This was WILD.

The Devil’s Lucky Number by Avdal. (E, Modern, 10K) Pure smut. Demon Kylo shows up out of the blue for the sole purpose of making rey orgasm. It’s what she deserves.

The Devil You Know by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 10K) In which Ben finds out the hard way that he shouldn’t play with old magic. AKA, lucky bastard dumb college student Ben accidentally summons himself a succubus girlfriend.

The Demon Within Me by Avdal. (E, Modern, 8K) Shameless demon Kylo smut.

Come To Me In The Clearing And There We Shall Dance by QueenOfCarrotFlowers @leofgyth . (E, 1600′s, 5K) She had been hoping he would find her - her only friend. Kylo. She supposes he’s a demon, or a devil, or one of the heathen gods, but she's never worked up the nerve to ask him and he has not volunteered that information.

Proposal by AKyloDarkly. (E, 4K) Lilith!Rey and Lucifer!Kylo.

Mercy by bunilicious. (E, Victorian, 3K) A Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde/Demon AU. AKA, Rey is thirsty for her demon husband and refuses to wait any longer.

Mothman/Mothlo

For Love of a Flame by thewayofthetrashcompactor. (E, Fantasy, 8K) The shadowy Order has advanced across the forest, bringing darkness in their wake. Rey is hungry and desperate, willing to face the Order themselves to steal back what they've taken from the land. What she finds there is not what she expects. Fairies/mothpeople! Weird! I’m into it!

Drawn to the Light of Your Burning Sorrows by Kyriadamorte. (M, Modern, 7K) Mothman Ben! Curious outcast Rey! This was the first mothlo fic I ever saw. Me when I saw this fic: Mothlo? Mothman Reylo?? God and Ryan Johnson have truly abandoned this fandom. Me after this fic: Mothman Kylo is the best boy and bring on the cryptids.

Macrolepidoptera by ceciliasheplin. (E, Modern, 3K) Rey runs after her Mothman to show him how much she loves him. Nothing like a 3K word fic that hits you in the feels at the same time that it’s giving you mothman smut filth. This fandom is magical.

Nature Spirits

Oh Autumn, Oh Teakettle, Oh Grace by diasterisms. (E, Modern, 31K) Ben Solo didn’t believe in dryads, until one snagged his coats and freed herself. She’s pure bliss and magic and he is captivated. If she has to go 2000 miles back to her tree, he might as well drive her there. Dryad Rey/smitten human Ben road trip! What a lovely fic!

Looking For a Breath of Life by Fighter_for_Solo. (T, Fantasy, 18K) Featuring Elf Prince Ben and human hunter Rey! A really delightful story.

I met you once — ( In a dream ) by persopilliankore. (E, Fantasy, 10K). Where Ben and Rey are soulmates and Ben is more than meets the eye.

Fearless by KyloTrashForever. (E, Fantasy, 6K) Featuring tree Ent Kylo and the softest tentacle porn you’ll ever read.

Sea Creatures. Mermaids, Selkies, OctaKylo, oh my!

Beyond the Veil by dachenbritta. (M, Modern, 40K). Deep within the waters of the Oregon coast, a lone mermaid longs for the man she's watched for years. Her wish of joining him comes true but comes at a cost. This was hilarious and emotional and such a great read.

Sirens by SageMcMage. (E, Fantasy, 21K) In which Merman Ben tries to woo Mermaid Rey by little gifts on her doorstep. Adorable! 

Yn Beisht Kione by Melusine11 @hellomelusine . (E, Modern, 5K) They say a beast roams the sea. Protecting a treasure long hidden in the Headland's caves. Some say it is the soul of a man killed by pirates to protect that treasure. Sailors have been known to throw casks of rum at the beast in the hopes of placating it, so they don't get eaten and can pass in peace. Most people though, don't believe he exists, and Rey is about to find out how wrong they all are.

I Found You by Kyoloren. (T, Fantasy, 5K) In which scavenger mermaid Rey finds a strange black T-shaped object in her waters on Kef Bir and is determined to return it to its owner. Mermaid Rey!Cute little fish people soulmates!

Octopussy by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 5K) Three brothers at the beach plus one horny sea monster equals a lot of holes being filled. Smutty monster filth, no need to look for a deeper meaning than that. You like tentacle porn? Here ya go.

Live by the Sea, Love by the Tide by Twin_Kitten. (E, Fantasy, 4K) Rey and a few other mermaids escape the clutches of Unkar, and stumble into the territory of another pod of mermaids. Ben's pod. Soft caretaking mermaid Ben!

Where the Blue of the Sea Meets the Sky by HarpiaHarpyja @thisgarbagepicker . (T-E, Fantasy) A Short delightful little series featuring Selkie Ben and explorer Rey! I seriously cannot say enough good things about this author, do yourself a favor and go read EVERYTHING she’s ever written.

Tentacle Dick (that’s it that’s the plot)

Damnably Unbecoming by cuddlesome. (E, Canon-verse crack, 5K)

Froot (i've been saving all my summers for you) by kuresoto. (E, Canon-verse crack, 4K)

Vampires

In The Dark by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 44K) A Dark Shadows AU!! It’s not “finished”, but it ends well where it is! Featuring vampire Ben who is very sorry about drinking blood and human Rey who is even thirstier than he is.

A Little Death (Goes a Long Way) by crossingwinter. (E, Modern, 23K) A Vampire & A/B/O AU. Weird and dark but I am here for it.

The Lioness by Lilia_ula. (E, Fantasy, 13K) Rey goes bravely to her death after being chosen as the village sacrifice, but upon meeting the beast things don’t go as planned. I love to see Reylo fics where they both revel in who they are and what they are together. Fascinating.

Beneath the Pale Moonlight by bunilicious. (E, Historical Recency, 15K) A fluffy fic about vampire Ben falling hard for Rey! 

The Curious Case of the Aquarist and the Vanishing Walrus by radioactivesaltghoul. (T, Modern, 6K) Rey loves spending time in the walrus enclosure at the aquarium she works at.Ben is a vampire with an unusual ability. This is bizarre and wonderful and just such a fun read. I think about this fic daily.

Werewolves

we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves) by crossingwinter. (E, Fantasy, 32K) A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.

Howl by monsterleadmehome. (E, modern, 2K) When Ben Solo is trying to earn Eagle Scout status, he spends a night alone in the woods. A chance encounter with a werewolf girl named Rey leaves an impression. Ten years later, he runs into her again and this time, they're all grown up.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: Roman x His Mystery Boyfriend, Romantic Andy x Pryce, Intrulogical (Remus x Logan)

Word Count: 1,878 Words

Summary: Snakes, Deceit in the hospital yet again, and Roman being touch starved as usual.

Warnings: Sex Mentions, Cursing, Snake Mention, Cancer Mention, Sick Character, Immunocompromised Character, Food Mention, Death Mention, Touch Starved Character, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Note: Bolded and blockquoted are actions in their chatroom, not a message.

Usernames, a quick translation guide: Andy: Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero), Castor: schrodingersdumbass, Dayd: carniverousroomba, Dice: Dr. Bitch, Emile: Thera-pissed, Halley: aspermylastemail, Janus: SnekBoi, Logan: Momgan, October: eatpavementido, Orion: birdgeoisie, Patton: Papa Bear, Pollux: satantakemehome, Pryce: SwEeTvErUcA, Remus: Octopussy, Remy: Coffee Bandit, Roman: waaahluigi, Sirius: literalsunshine, Teal: uwu, Thomas: shrexy, Virgil: spipples, Vita: þiccness

A Very Sanders Group Chat: Chapter 8

1:17PM

SnekBoi: Inny, did you feed my snakes?

Octopussy: I did.

SnekBoi: Oh good, I was worried about Ceres. She's only taken her food from me before.

shrexy: Ceres?

Octopussy: baby Burmese Python Dee just got.

SnekBoi: And I have more snakes that will be laying soon.

Thera-pissed has kicked SnekBoi from the chat

Thera-pissed: Seriously, Inny, is he okay? He looks really pale.

Octopussy: well, he's in observation so, obviously, no. he's pretty much running himself down again. he said he plans to reopen his studio again on the fourteenth against me and Dice's medical advice. he's currently digging his hole and he's going to have to work his way out of it when he finally crashes again.

Thera-pissed: Well, how deep in the hole is he?

Dr. Bitch: Currently, he's at least twenty pounds underweight even though he's eating like he should, he's just burning it off by straining himself so much. He had at least two nosebleeds while he was hospitalized last night so it's inevitable that he'll have to do the induction again because it's just not working.

Octopussy: plus, this morning he couldn't open a tupperware I brought him, so I'd say he's pretty much back at the beginning again.

Dr. Bitch: You didn't tell me that you brought him extra food.

Octopussy: he said he'd tell you.

Dr. Bitch: So he's lying between us now.

Octopussy: maybe trying to make himself stronger by lying to people he's connected to emotionally?

Dr. Bitch: Maybe.

Octopussy: if he gets any better, maybe that's the point of his lying right now but just keep eyes on him so his lying can't backfire on him.

Dr. Bitch: I always have a nurse near his room. He's too dangerous left alone for too long.

Octopussy: I have to get back to work, Alice came in with Hannah and Hannah needs her fur de-matted again and if I make Riley deal with her for too long, he'll scream in the break room later.

Dr. Bitch: I wish you could just take the animal from the owners that don't care about them.

Octopussy: I'm not getting fired to rescue dogs, Dicey.

Octopussy: plus you have that kitten now, you can't take care of a month and a half old kitten, a dog, and your job.

Dr. Bitch: You're right and I hate you.

Octopussy: don't lie, bitch, you love me.

Dr. Bitch: Irrelevant.

Octopussy: anyway, work.

Dr. Bitch has deleted 12 messages

Dr. Bitch has added SnekBoi to the chatroom

SnekBoi: You booted me to talk about animals?

Dr. Bitch: No, we were talking about our Christmas present ideas for you and ended up talking about animals.

SnekBoi: Fine.

SnekBoi: Also, you're across the hall at the nurse's station talking to Miss Esme, I can literally see you, Dice, you could just say that to my face.

Dr. Bitch: And yet you just texted me back instead of calling over to me.

SnekBoi: Touche.

SnekBoi: Anyway, back to looking at snakes.

shrexy: Oh yeah, Dee, you breed snakes?

SnekBoi: Well, it started out an accident, actually. Me and Inny moved our rooms around last year after brumation and we put a few of my snakes that could be temporarily cohabed in bins together for a few days so we could do it and quite a number of the snakes got gravid. Roman owns a couple of the amazon tree boas, actually.

SnekBoi: This year we got a new adult garter thinking it was a boy and we only found out it was a girl when we saw Inny's garter snake locked with her and, by then she had already mated so we're just waiting now. Plus we actually decided to see what happens with our sunbeams, only because we want to at least try with them to get babies since it's so hard to get them not wild-caught.

waaahluigi: Livia and Caius are very happy by the way.

shrexy: I now want a snake.

SnekBoi: You really want me and Inny to vet you?

shrexy: Sure?

SnekBoi: Dice, can I have visitors?

Dr. Bitch: I have said this like four times each time you're in here. Only if they wear a mask and so do you.

SnekBoi: Fine. Thomas, come here and wear a mask.

shrexy: Why?

SnekBoi: Because I'm going to vet you first while Inny's working to get it out of the way and I can't leave the hospital for another six days so get in here.

shrexy: I guess I'm going in my head again.

2:40PM

SnekBoi: Trial number one is over. He passed.

waaahluigi: How!? It took me like three tries!

SnekBoi: He knows a lot about snakes, what can I say?

Momgan: Can confirm, Thomas knows quite a bit about snakes since he wanted learn if your scales were indeed slimy and he happened to fall down a rabbit hole and got extremely interested in them.

shrexy: Stop exposing my late-night rabbit hole knowledge to others, Logan.

Momgan: We all live in your head, it literally does not matter.

SnekBoi: Second trial; Inny. Someone you don't even know. Good luck.

shrexy: Yeah, I'm making him trial three, I'm buying snake stuff for trial two.

SnekBoi: Using the stuff I recommended or something else?

shrexy: Stuff you recommended.

SnekBoi: Smart man.

4:30PM

Octopussy: hey, Dee, I went home for lunch and guess what happened?

SnekBoi: No way. Baby garters? Did Venus have babies?

Octopussy: nope, neither. you remember how how we left Juno and Jupiter together earlier this year because we ran out of separators while we had to shift them from their quarantine bins to their enclosures?

SnekBoi: Tell me they didn't.

Octopussy: I think Juno's newly laid litter means they did.

SnekBoi: Well, it looks like unfortunately have baby rainbow boas.

spipples: I want one.

SnekBoi: You really want a snake? You've told us for years you didn't want to own them.

spipples: I was thinking of looking for a cute little noodle and Juno and Jupiter are just plain beautiful so their babies have to be pretty too.

SnekBoi: Reasonable, rainbow boas are pretty as hell.

Octopussy: do you even have an enclosure for a baby rainbow boa?

spipples: I already have an extra 20 gallon enclosure from getting Celeste. I got the wrong one. It was too small for Celeste so I ended up having a spare 20 gallon.

SnekBoi: Amazing, this one is the first one to already have both an enclosure and past snake experience with our babies.

spipples: Oh yeah, I've fed Minerva before.

SnekBoi: Do we even need to continue vetting him?

Octopussy: I still will, this is the first time Juno's had babies and I'm still counting.

SnekBoi: Jeez, how many are you at?

Octopussy: well, I'm doing it alone and I'm searching Juno's enclosure so I'm not even counting yet, I'm still cleaning. it has to be at least seven though.

SnekBoi: Good lord, Juno.

Octopussy: Juno cares not for your so called "lord", she will make any number of squirmy children she wants. and apparently that number was a lot. I'm already above ten.

SnekBoi: I believe it.

Octopussy: just look how pretty this bucket of large rainbowey worms are.

Octopussy: abakersdozenofrainbowboas.jpg

spipples: Wow, they're beautiful.

shrexy: Oh wow, they're so pretty!

waaahluigi: I would kill for them.

Coffee Bandit: I think they look very squirmy and cute. A+ work right there, Juno.

SnekBoi: Oh yeah, Virgil. Time for vetting. Come see me.

spipples: Wish me luck not to die.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Don't die, I'm not qualified to raise my nephews and niece.

spipples: Fair.

7:45PM

SnekBoi: I'm exhausted. I'm going to sleep again. Live on without me, you feeble simpletons.

spipples: Yeah sure, jackass.

SnekBoi: Love you too, bastard.

spipples: Fair.

SnekBoi is offline

spipples: Hey, Inny, can we talk alone?

Octopussy: Nu-uh. I just got home and I'll be incriminated. Witness.

spipples: Fine, Andy, come with me.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Fiiiiiiine.

spipples, Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero), and Octopussy are now offline

shrexy: Should I be worried about them.

Dr. Bitch: Virgil seemed extremely worried about Deceit, which is seeable given Dee has declined in health quite a bit lately with his recurrence and he's not quite getting much better as of yet given he's stressing himself out more than he's helping himself get better.

shrexy: Isn't there a way to make him stop that?

Dr. Bitch: We're fortunately unfortunate that he's stubborn. His stubbornness has served well going through things like induction and maintenance but he's absolutely shit at consolidation.

shrexy: Do you think he'll be okay? He's just getting worse.

Dr. Bitch. Like I do with all my patients, I hope he'll get better but, right now, it doesn't seem like he will be unless something changes and he finally stops being so self-destructive.

shrexy: So, no?

Dr. Bitch: I don't think he will, but I don't think he'll die and he knows that. he's a part of you, he can't die, he'll just be in a lot of pain for a very long time and will likely go dormant.

shrexy: It's a relief he won't die but I don't want him to be in pain.

Dr. Bitch: Well, we don't really have a choice. We have the option of I either do my best and get him into remission again and hope it doesn't come back again or I give up on my favorite patient and let him drive himself into the ground again. And you have the option of living with him or rejecting him.

shrexy: I know.

Dr. Bitch: Now I need to work, I get to go home soon.

shrexy: Good luck, Dice!

Dr. Bitch: Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Bitch is offline

Momgan: I'm not surprised that I worked and this chat, yet again, is chaos.

Papa Bear: Yeah, it usually is chaotic while we aren't here, huh Lo?

Momgan: It is. Sometimes I'm shocked any of them have a single braincell between them.

Papa Bear: You're right! Our beloved braincell is at work, so they lose their minds.

waaahluigi: I resent that!

Momgan: We know you're chaotic because you miss us, Roman.

waaahluigi: No! I just get...

waaahluigi: ...bored stupid.

Momgan: Would you like to hug, Roman?

waaahluigi: Wait, you're offering to hug me? You? The robot?

Momgan: Well, given I am designated the group mother, I may as well give you motherly affection.

waaahluigi: I would kill to hug someone.

Momgan: Roman, are you touch starved?

waaahluigi: No! Of course not! I just like attention!

þiccness: He is. Mom refuses to admit it but he is touch starved quite frequently.

Momgan: I guess I'm staying with you then until you have had an adequate amount of touch.

waaahluigi: Hang on, gonna cry real quick because Lo's being so nice to me.

shrexy: Aw, bud! Cuddle pile on Roman time!

SwEeTvErUcA: You mean flop on my brother like he's a pancake and I'm butter? Great idea!

waaahluigi: Wait nonono!

uwu: Hey what was that bang?

waaahluigi: Ow.

uwu: Ah, two touch starved triplets. Makes sense. Carry on.

Momgan: Oh no, you're getting in on this too, Teal.

uwu: What god did I offend to be taken from doing my work like this?

Momgan: All of them.

uwu: Sounds about right, deal.

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