#and yet i keep going
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im done with f2.
😶 yea idk i dont wanna watch anymore
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every time I think that I'm too hard on myself and that maybe I should trust my capabilities more, the universe has to go and prove that I've actually been greatly overestimating my competency
#how did i let this many basic arithmetic errors slip through on my exam#like id anticipated myself to make some dumb mistakes so i looked over my work and it seemed fine#because never in a million years did it occur to me that id brain fart so hard that id reach the right answer but write the wrong thing#these werent even multiple choice questions#i reached the right answer in one part of the question but wrote down a different number when using it in a different part#literally what. how#what kind of stem major has all bs/b-s in stem classes#maybe i should give up and switch to marketing or something#i mean. bs are pretty standard grades in college i guess#but literally everyone else i know in my major is getting as in our classes#just. aughhhhhghgh#i cant do this anymore#but i must#because what other choice do i have?#if i cant do this major then theres really nothing else for me to do#i am still passionate about the idea of it...i think. maybe#also like i hate other subjects more so...#through the process of elimination im kind of stuck here#and i also would never let myself give up this easily#ill talk about giving up endlessly and feel the need to give up and lie down on the ground forever#and yet i keep going#to what end? who knows#ugh anyways#ech.txt
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Any tips for being a suicidal 15 year old?
When I was a suicidal 15 year old everyone told me “it gets better”, and it sounded like bullshit. And frankly, it still sounds like bullshit. Like oh, what, I’m living in hell and you’re not gonna help me or *do* anything or give me any useful advice and I’m supposed to just hang in there on the nebulous, pithy promise that things are just gonna work out on their own? And you can’t tell me how or why, I’m just supposed to take it on the faith that I don’t have that something might change in ways I haven’t considered?
But yeah. It does. And it’s frustrating as hell.
Yes, things are gonna get better, and they’re gonna get better in ways I can’t describe even after experiencing it myself. Things you don’t even know CAN be different WILL be different. One day you’re just going to step outside and realize things got better somewhere and you didn’t even notice it happening.
And there’s really nothing I can say that makes that sound even a little bit believable.
I guess all I can tell you is that you have to want to believe it.
#Sorry I can’t give you more than that#But it’s true#And if it helps to hear#you haven’t really had the chance to LIVE yet#Do you really want to cancel a subscription to a service you haven’t used?#Maybe check out the features first#You really have nothing to lose#And you may never get a second shot#There’s a lot of cool shit out here#like this is the COOLEST PLANET#We’ve got glowing bugs and music and pasta#No other place in the whole universe has Mario Party or cats or the harmonica#There are some things you should see before you leave#All I do is keep looking for things#Would you go to Paris and just stay in the airport?#Of course not#At least get a croissant#take some stupid tourist pictures#buy a keychain#SOMETHING
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don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#sorry it's even scribblier than usual :') hopefully my chickenscratch is legible#anyway come here and join me in the corner where we go to be embarrassing about anime characters#just. between riddle and trey's dreams i've been thinking a lot about how#trey knew this kid for like two months when he was nine and then never really got over him or how their friendship ended#which. honestly. understandable given the circumstances#and then when they finally met again riddle acted like they'd never met before and neither he nor trey ever intended trey to be his vice#but every time riddle talks about his childhood post-incident it's basically#'oh yeah i constantly thought about trey and che'nya and fantasized about still being friends with them! this is fine and normal'#(there's a bit in one of his birthday cards where he talks about crossword puzzles and shit man that one got me)#idk. i can't put this into words very well#just...the implications that riddle was actively resisting trey's friendship#(presumably because it ended SUPER badly last time and he's learned that if he shows he wants something it gets taken away from him)#and trey had to work REALLY hard to just to get to the point they were at by the time canon starts#that was progress somehow#y'all can call him boring all you want but trey's defining feature really is that he keeps being like#'everything's fine :) this isn't a big deal :) i don't care that much'#(trey on the inside: THIS IS THE BIGGEST DEAL THAT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT AND I WILL NEVER LET IT GO)#anyway i continue to be absolutely murdered by the timing of riddlepunzel directly after this#riddle's line about not wanting to keep standing in front of a door that's never going to open...#hey. hey silly gacha game about anime disney boys.#you are not actually allowed to do this to me#oh shit oh damn i'm out of tags and i haven't even talked about cater yet. NO BUT I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS THERE TOO --#(i am crushed under a falling safe looney tunes style)
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lighthearted.
if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.
i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.
A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.
#yet another largely personal comic that kind of only has real impact to maybe four people#it's crazy what a difference a few months makes#and a trip to the beach that makes you glad you're still alive.#the last page is just me drawing my friends and I as our respective art sonas#credit to my best friend for inventing the designs#i keep copying their shit but its their fault for always having good ideas#ugghhh i love the people in my life so much and im so thankful for them#one of my friends gave me a vintage camera for my birthday#im going to take so many photos i could paper my walls with them#thank you for reading#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt
“Woah. You look like shit."
Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
#I AM LOUDLY PUSHING THE BATDAD AGENDA#anyways— add ons are encouraged i wanna talk more dpxdc with folks i just cant find any aus i really like enough to engage with#which is nobody's fault and its why im making my own content in order to reach more people#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dc x dp#dpxdc prompts#i took a ‘which batfam member are you (except its personal)’ quiz a few days ago#and got bruce wayne. and then was promptly read to filth why im most like him and it rudely but accurately explained why im the most like#him. it also consequently explained to me why i like him so much. whenever i see him in his kindest form i see a mirror looking back#anyways lots of ‘danny rejecting bruce as a parent’ aus. may i present: bruce and danny finding family in each other aus. batdad aus pls.#dpxdc prompt#dcxdp#this prompt can take place at any point of Batkid accumulation but personally i was imagining this as before Bruce has any of his kids yet#eldest brother danny supremacy and also just that one on one bonding#danny being someone who was never afraid of the dark as a kid and even less so as he got older. taking solace in it as a ghost because you#cant hide in the dark when you glow. his enemies can't jump out at him. but he can jump out at them. how can he be afraid of the dark when#the dark is where the stars like to live? there's a comfort in the shadows. there might be something hiding in it. but he's hiding in it to#blood blossoms eat ghosts headcanon#wasn't sure where i was gonna go with this at the beginning and then i caught steam.#batman casually kidnaps an orphan upon kid's request. also the kid was Actively Dying Of Poison. What was he gonna do?? NOT help him?#mister 'keeps candy in his utility belt specifically for scared children'??? no way.
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pics that make you go "oh I KNOW he eated a trash"
#transformers one#tf one#transformers#tfo#tf one bumblebee#b 127#bumblebee#tf one elita#elita#elita one#elita 1#making bee a dr. pepper drinker despite it not making any sense in-universe simply bc it brings me joy#anyway#i feel like they didnt treat the workers in sublevel 50 well if at all#(leaning towards the “if at ALL”)#and that includes making sure theyre fed and stuff#i mean orion and d16 were the first people bee saw in AGES so clearly they werent hand delivering energon down there#they probably just remotely dropped some down occasionally but that “occasionally” could be anything#so i feel like bee had to go through some unsavory “food-like” items to survive#feel so bad being mean to him yet i keep drawing these things so...#dr pepper#my art
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redrew my fav skybound panels
#maccadam#transformers#tf#maccadams#transformers skybound#starscream#skybound starscream#optimus prime#skybound optimus#ratchet#skybound ratchet#pike art#really enjoying skybound im not finished yet#but my glorious goat thundercracker is sorta relevant so i will keep going#and the arts good. and i love the writing or whatever#thundercracker is more important than any other aspect trust me#got a fig of him today . love that guy a lot#itd really suck if this wasnt under a thundercracker post amd was#instead#under a starscream one
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Thinking bout that fic where Siffrins Dying Of Terminal Illness a lil too much and had to do something about it
#you know those fics that gut you like a fish then you just gotta keep going about your day like everythings normal#yeah#that#it’s not even completed yet I fear I may perish#eyukiart#isat fanart#fanfic fanart#in stars and time#isafrin#goes and sobs in the corner
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taking off my anxiety over a license exam ☠️
#messyr#IM GOING TO CRY IF I FAIL THIS EXAM BUT DAMN I ALREADY FEEL LIKE THROWING UP!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAH#I keep thinking about the fkin adobe license yet im still out here drawing projects for a media visual novel and egames art concepts AAARGH#Also still drafting stuff for this AU bc it doesn't just focus on ships- rather the plot itself LMAO.#doodle#artists on tumblr#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel: Michelin Stars AU#hazbin hotel human au#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel alastor#lucifer morningstar#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel charlie#charlie morningstar#radioapple
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Betty has me in a chokehold. That's the post.
#i need this game to come out already#if she keeps biting her lip does that mean she'll let us do it?#betty bed#date everything#i need date everything to be out already#does anyone else get the occasional horror game vibe yet?#go talk to your sink...#date your bed#hot bed#betty betty
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the layers to andrew’s abuse and his response to it are both so so heartbreaking. “Did you let them run a kit, Andrew?” “No choice, Bee,” said by the man who also says “there is always a choice.” but “no choice” because this was about protecting aaron—because choosing between putting himself through his own personal nightmare again or letting aaron’s life go off the rails (because he was saving andrew’s life) is no choice at all. andrew will always protect aaron. “Everyone knows now, Bee,” said by the man who has tried so so hard to be a shield for the family he can’t let go of and won’t let in. they know now how horrifically he has been violated over and over again, how many times he failed to protect himself bc he was too young and how many times everyone else failed him because he was too young, too confused to be believed. he tried SO hard to shield his brother from his nightmares and in the end none of it mattered. aaron knows and aaron’s life might be coming apart because of it and andrew has the choice to stop that from happening so no wonder there is no choice. at his core andrew is someone who looks out for others. at his core he is the adult he needed as a child 🧘🏽♀️
#i’m going to kill someone if i keep thinking about this. and yet i will keep thinking about this#andrew minyard#aaron minyard#all for the game#aftg#tfc#seedpost
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A-anime?
you know, sometimes I forget that Twst is actually an isekai that starts with the protagonist getting run over by an inexplicable horse-drawn carriage. and every time I'm reminded is a delight because that's AMAZING.
also. look. okay. there's a lot of very fun stuff in the trailer but I am obsessed with that Crowley surprised pikachu face. me when I spend all my keys and gems literally hours before they announce overblot SSRs and drop the anime trailer:
#twisted wonderland#twst anime#<- gonna use that for anime stuff in case anyone wishes to filter it#this is the point where i once again have to admit that i have not really read the manga#(i've liked what i've seen but it's very hard for me to keep up with stuff a lot of the time)#(the anime may actually be easier for me to absorb it in :')#god i GOTTA draw the manga yuus#i kept meaning to when yuuna got revealed but i didn't get around to it before 7-13 ate my brain 😭#anyway the bits they chose for the trailer are pretty interesting to me!#like i think chances are good it was mostly from that one sequence because given the timeline#they probably don't have a ton of 100% finished post-comp footage yet so they probably just took what they have#but also i'm thinking back to how deliberately vague all the game promo stuff was#and...okay again i don't really know how they did it in the manga but i am reminded of how overblotting was actually like. a twist.#a twst twist#like we were introduced to it in the prologue with the mine phantom#but riddle's overblot was an actual SURPRISE and like. an instant reveal that okay THIS is what the story's gonna be about#so i'm just kinda wondering if the anime promos might also like...actively try not to spoil everything#or if they're gonna go full anime-intro 'here's all the super spoilery scenes you can expect to see :)'#basically is the marketing gonna skew towards new viewers or established fans. both valid i'm just curious!#also excuse me for a moment as i reveal myself as a hugely pretentious snob but#oh my god the backgrounds actually have some texture and shape and are taking style cues from the game backgrounds#oh my god the castle exterior actually looks illustrative and fantastic and isn't just a 3d model they plopped in#it's hard to tell at this point how consistent that'll be since most of the trailer is in the mirror chamber#but i'm just SO happy to see it! hopefully this means they weren't crunched to fuck and are able to really go ham#(the pre-isekai scenes all look more generic modern anime so like...is that a conscious artistic choice they made)#(because that would be incredible. holy shit.)
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Maybe we never had a chance.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#a-yuan#Ultimately...despite how hard we try to reach people - sometimes it just is not possible.#Sometimes all you can do is wish that things could have been different. You pen a note with all the things you want to say -#and then you let it go. The words stay unsent and unspoken. You just watch the rift between you grow until you're too far away to try again#It is a sad end! It is two people who want to be closer but do not have the right capacity to do anything but shut doors.#Worse yet; it's two people who feel it is not their place to try and impose anything more.#It takes so long to heal from endings like that. You never get enough closure when there is still a faint hope of 'another day'.#It's a false amicability. It's closing a door and telling yourself that at least the windows are unlocked.#WWX will keep up his friendliness as a way to hold LWJ at a distance. LWJ can only try to help so many times.#Speaking of tragedies of trying to help; Let's talk about the addiction metaphors in this episode.#WWX tells LWJ in fairly straightforward terms that he does not *want* do be doing ghost cultivation.#What he wants is to protect people - by any means necessary. If he had another option he would take it.#The path WWX 'chose' is one that is deeply mired in external shame and taboo. He jokes about it but it clearly doesn't feel great.#And I put 'chose' in quotes because just like many who find them selves in bad situations - the choice is an illusion.#He's adamant that this is 'his' choice. That he is in control.#Better to be villainized that endure the terrifying reality that you lack any ability to have choice anymore.#If he had the choice - truly had the choice - he would not be doing this.#You can't help those who don't want to be helped. So of course all LWJ can do is watch from the side. Offer a hand when he can.#This life was a tragedy and the countdown to it all blowing up started a long time ago...
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capsei fans been real quiet since this one dropped (the joke is i am capsei fans)
but yeah i get the feeling they’re not gonna last. and it feels bad to me that one of them Doesn’t like him so i Hope they don’t last
���if you ship scc together go away Please and Thank You
#anyway is there a ship name yet. my real suggestion is hatclub but my jokey suggestion is 1/3 x 2/3#☝️hatclub and not clov’n or capver bc. clov’n has an apostrophe and is going to be difficult to keep track of. capver sounds clunky#clubsmusic could also be good but i think i like hatclub over it bc. capn. cap=hat. and all three of scc are about music#so I’m gonna tag it as hatclub unless there turns out to be a better or Already Established name#but i really like 1/3 x 2/3 bc it at least specifies one of clover isn’t included (and cap’n is also part of a trio)#hatclub#the art gallery#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#capsei#<-teeechnically. bc of those middle two#also i have Actually capsei art in the works so dw abt it
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Gen obsessed with how.. *dead* your Jason's color pallete is. Like, that's corpse pale right there. Not a spec of blood left flowing in there (also father Todd's skin being full of color in comparison is a nice touch)

THANK YOU I love making him look a bit ghoulish. Guy who's not supposed to be alive but yes he is. no he isn't <3
#DC#DC Comics#Jason Todd#Red Hood#Jaybin#Robin ii#Art by me#Asks#I know vitamin D doesn't affect your skin colour BUT the easiest way to get it is sunlight which does ik nobody is bothered by this but me#But I have OCD. so you're getting clarification anyways ���#Jason's way of saying if you spend too much time underground it's going to start wanting to keep you there 😁#I do think he bleeds normally and has a heartbeat and all that because he's not Dead. Alive? Well no also. He's likeboth at once and neithe#I think his physical state should be full of inconsistencies. you can't see his breath in cold weather but you can if he smokes etc.#There's also appeal to him coming back looking completely normal I do love mundane horror but#His death was important both in and out of universe and it altered things irreversibly so I think he can be a little Off as a treat#Also it adds to the misery that he's the same person like he died and came back the same person internally he's himself but#to others he looks and acts and is offputting he's Jason but Wrongg. Except not really#Because yeah he changed but that's just getting older and being affected by your experiences like everyone else ever#unfortunately for him he popped back to life Like That so everyone is just going eughh what thebfcuk#But that's a little off topic ANYWAYS one thing I really liked about Countdown was Jason being described as a siren in the dark#Like yea he's unsettling even if there's no clear reason as to why yet. He wasn't even doing anything his vibes are just rancid#My ideal Jason is one who looks like he wouldn't be out of place eating someone. He wouldn't. but you know. looming threat#I think he'd have fun indulging in the undead aspect in his more dramatic moments#Also the environment matters like during the day at the store he just seems a bit strange but at night in an alleyway it's uncanny valley#I have more to say on this topic but I'm writing a novel in the tags so I'll wrap it up#To summarize it's basically YOU CAN'T GO BACK YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE AND EVERYONE WHO LOOKS AT YOU CAN SEE IT#Thank you again for this ask I love when people bring up details they like to me because I like putting them in and talking about them#And just talking in general clearly lmao post-crisis really had so much going for it. lots of interesting characters
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